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    10-04-16 “Guiding a past-life regression”

    by , 04-10-2016 at 09:50 AM (363 Views)
    Non-lucid – NoteslucidInterpretation

    I am guiding an Ayahuasca ceremony. It is not at Strandgaarden, but a different abolished farm house.

    We are in the ceremonial room and I am trying my best to relax, while still paying attention to the needs of the travellers. I am the last available guide and so I find myself a little nervous as this will be the first time I will deal with an intoxicated participant. Soon hereafter a parson raise her hand and I go to her.

    Jocelyn Girala – I think – would like to go to the toilet. She is an experienced traveller and she seems like she can manage her movements, but I still make sure I have an arm close by to support her in case she should slip, though she seems interested in keeping her own balance. I feel slightly awkward, not entirely sure about how to compose myself bodily, but I center myself and relax my nerves.

    I guide her and we are headed towards the toilets. The toilets we are headed towards are the outside ones next to the Sauna at Strandgaarden, however, Jocelyn insists that we carry on and head towards the next ones out. There normally aren't any further toilets further out, and I find myself surprised when I find out that there is.

    There are two toilets, but with two separate entrances to each. I ask Jocelyn which one she would like to use and she considers the question a short while, and indicate she would like to go to the one furthest away.

    “No problem” I say.
    “But you have to go into this one” She responds, which makes me slightly suspicious and unsure of myself as I want to be available to help her. I enter the toilet however and notice the door is lockable with a padlock. And so I stop up and turn around. I see malice and mischief in the eyes of Jocelyn. I am not far enough in that she can actually lock the door, but I know for certain that this is what she intended and as I realise this she smiles wickedly.
    “Who are you?” I ask, and we switch positions so she is now furthest into the entrance. We are now in a cosily orange lit stables, with open rafters in close to our heads supporting the roof structure. There are a lot of girders about, all brown. Jocelyn Is hanging from one of the support rafters with one hand, while she is trying to attack me with the other, which I prevent her from doing with my left hand.

    I find myself singing – icaros – more chanting than singing, I feel myself interfering at the level of intellect to start out with, though I manage to let go of this. I also “purr” at her, to manifest whatever needs manifesting at this stage. I also find myself out of my depth slightly, but I do what comes naturally to me.

    Jocely no longer looks like she does when we entered the toilets. She looks like a mulatto and she looks a hell of a lot younger – maybe 20-25 – and she stares at me, venom, hatred and anger burning in her eyes.
    “I can't hold back” Jocelyn whimpers from behind this new entity. It is Jocely who is holding back with her left hand in the rafters – while I support her figure with my right hand and keeping the hand of the entity at bay with my left. I feel a tinge of nervousness, but also a sense of calm confidence as I tell her:
    “Maybe you should just surrender and let go, we can explore this together” And after a brief moment of hesitation Jocelyn lets go and let the entity descend on me – full force, which necessitates that I protect myself with both hands. All the while I keep up my chanting, and I place my hand (not sure which one, as I am also using both of them to manage her flailing arms) on her chest and apply a slight pressure moving my hand upwards – which fuels her rage.
    “Who are you?” I ask again and get a vague answer presented intuitively.

    Rita – Lita… somewhere mid 19th century – a black woman, maybe a mulatto, who has anger problems.

    There is a brief skip, maybe someone helps her back into the ceremonial room.

    I find myself standing in the stables talking to an old lesbian friend from England.

    She has been hurt by Jocelyn. We talk a bit and I hug her and we find acceptance in the fact that Jocelyn is a racist, but that she cannot really help it – it is karmic – which helps my friend find a sort of forgiveness for her. It is as if (R/L)ita has somehow carried it though this incarnation and forced it upon her. I remember saying something along the lines of.

    “So there was racism in the past”
    “Yes” my friend replies, sobbing slightly.
    “So Joecelyn...”
    “Is a racist” my friend completes.

    Then Saman and the other guides call me back into the ceremonial room. (R/L)ita is causing havoc in there and a few of the other guides are holding her against a wall.

    “We can't seem to control her” Saman is telling me. It is as if (R/L)ita is refusing to leave the body of Jocelyn now that she is there again. “I think only you can finish this” Saman continues. And so I walk over to Jocelyn and start preparring to continue the chanting and acupressure moves I have recently learned (will soon learn IRL).

    I am finding myself unwilling to jump the gun on interpreting this baby here. It seems like there is a message coming through that sort of needs to dissipate through sub-conscious reflection and conscious conversation. I had forgotten about the dream until I was in the toilet during the morning routine, and having put on some Bob (which frequently makes me sing) and returning to jog down anther dream I remembered -”Singing” and the chesty feeling of chanting – “There was something about singing” and in that instant the memory of the dream came back to me

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