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    Vesterguard

    Self-Healing, Attempt 1 (confidence issues)

    by , 07-27-2011 at 11:39 AM (361 Views)
    26-07-11 I am standing in the backyard of a building complex. The grass looks dried out and has white tips but otherwise a spectrum of colours ranging through black, green, yellow and ofcourse white. The buildings are grey and massive and there doesn't seem to be an immidiate way out of the yard.

    I am lucid from the start, I know this from the qualitative difference in the imagery I am experiencing. I have had 4 dreams of poor quality with the knowledge of dreaming, but the visual product has been awful, sort of like having 1 eye in the dream world and the other awake.

    I start by commanding the dream to stabilise and I look around the buildings that look rather gloom. I contemplate increasing the vividness of the dream, but the quality seems good. I try taking off in flight, but struggle severely. After this realisation I decide it is irrelevant after all, could probably overcome it, but it is not my goal with this lucid.

    I call out for the dream if it can help me. I send a brief thought to my goal of overcoming confidence issues, but don't as such engage en deep mentation over it.

    Quickly there is a call from behind me and I start making my way there. I am aware that this is my first REM phase seeing as I haven't actually ”slept” yet, so I want to make quick progress. However as I am making my way towards the woman that has called me, several times I have to engage my senses as the scenery starts to blur.

    The woman calls me from a plateau above me. The place has taken on a look of a mixture of ruins and incompleted housing, though the entire area is connected completely. I know I can get up to her, but she makes her way down to me.

    I ask her name and she replies that it is Mie. I unfortunately don'w remember the rest of the conversation, for a couple of reasons. First of all I recall appologising to her that I have to shift my attention away from her words and her in general as the dream keeps on fading at an increasing frequency. Secondly we didn't really manage to get past the introductory phases, though I have one word summarising the content ”construction”.


    I wake up.

    Notes: I was unable to actually sleep much this night. The first 4 dreams mentioned can best be described as non-REM or partially wakeful dreams. They lack the complete dream scenery relying only limited on visual product and mainly audio. They all were false awakenings as well. Had some pretty scary HHs as well one being a high sound and another the sensation of being tugged in, though I countered this by hugging back the ”entity” and actually that gave the experience a warm feeling to it. Though my control seemed somewhat diminished in the actual dream, my access to waking memory and intentions and goals, where solid and clear. So paradoxially my lucidity was high, though my control was limited. Unfortunately I didn't get as much time or could afford as much attention to the girl as I would have like to, but it is a start and this theme will get more attention!


    I am in a kitchen making pancakes. I am pouring the milk directly in the bag of flour. There are various pieces of fruit in the bag, which I am anoyed about. Some of these fruits are green tomatoes. Thure comes into the kitchen and asks what I am up to. I tell him I am making pancakes, but that I can't really get the mixture right, well, to mix at all. I then complain about the fruit in the bag and ofcourse he can see that as being a problem, but I have a feeling that I am really just using it as an excuse.

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