lucid

I was trying to incubate a beach dream during MILD. It didn't quite work out. I was feeling really wakeful alread and was afraid I wasn't going to get to sleep in the first hour so I have to keep it short to quite my mind enough.

#196 - MILD - 4:49AM

I am driving to/from that I think was the beach. Was is the Georgia trip? It starts snowing ridiculously hard and the scene whites out.

I have a FA and I know that I am dreaming. I am in the house from my late teenage years. My parents are milling about not paying attention to me. I remember the task to hug a DC. My dad is the closest and I reach out and hug him tightly. I remember negative feelings I have toward him and I let them go. I say, "I love you, Dad." He doesn't really seem to react much to this but I feel good telling him that and I continue down stairs.

The scene skips head. (Who wants to walk down stairs in a dream?) I am at the front door and when I open it I see that it is snowing with some accumulation. I say, "Oh! Snow!" I take a long slow floating leap off the porch but realize the snow is not that deep. I turn over to my back and think, The snow is deep. The snow is deep. When I land the snow is sure enough deep but it's a little too deep. I create a large deep hole and snow caves in on me.

I have another FA. I start to reach for my DJ but something feels off. Am I still dreaming? Do a nose plug and blow through. It didn't feel very clean so I blew harder a few more times. Once satisfied I get up and exit the door. I realize I am in the first house I bought with my ex-wife. I see her sitting in a couch in the living room at the end of the hallway. When I get to the living room I notice my mom on the other couch holding a baby. Ignore them and sit next to my ex. For the moment I feel like I am in the past. I hug her and remember old feelings and the good times we had.I begin to make out with her. It seems awkward that my mom is in the room but I know that if I ignore her she will not exist. Everything feels like it used to but soon she starts morphing into my current wife. The scene becomes very much like Vanilla Sky and I push away from her feeling guilty and confused.

I have another FA. I nose plug and continue out of the room. There is a long hallway in the darkness and as I walk it begins to grow and stretch longer and longer. My crotch feels odd and I get the feeling like some force is holding me back. I start to panic. I realize this is turning nightmarish so I relax, calm myself and focus on moving forward. Almost instantly I am at the end. There is really large living room with a kitchen bar to the left. Where am I this time? It's too dark to see but I notice some red led on the wall. Must be a smoke detector I reach on the adjacent wall and feel for a light switch. I flip it expectantly and a the light on a ceiling fan brightens the room. The room looks alien yet familiar. It feels like some apartment. I yell making funny sounds just to hear the odd dream sound of my voice. Then, I try to think what to do and all I can remember is the fireworks task. I spot a buffet with a lot of junk on it. I start rummaging around and pick up a match. I say, "There's the matches." Then I see a single bottle rocket. I looks just like a Moon Traveler. "There's the firework." I put the match in my mouth and then the bottle rocket. I have to break the stick to get it to fit and have a hard time swallowing. I feel like I might choke so I just let it sit there and it quickly dissolves. Now I point my finger across the room at some glass sliding doors. I feel uncertain how this so I just point and wait. I try to focus on the bottle rocket shooting out of my finger tip but I wake up before anything happens.

#1 Rainn Wilson's Comedy Act
I am in some darkened theater and Rainn Wilson (Dwight Schrute)is on stage doing stand-up comedy. My wife is next to me and her sister is next to her. Rainn has some sort of drum that look like a metal coffee can in a square box on a stand. He stands in front of it and says something about how he's Jewish. We all laugh at lot a his jokes. Somehow I am able to reach out and pat the drum a few times.

Then he randomly starts playing violin with a full orchestra behind him. People take this as the end of his act and start leaving in mass numbers. My wife, her sister and I decide to stay. I think the music sounds amazing and relaxing. My wife and her sister get up to get a closer seat since there are some open now. My wife wants me to follow but I realize that for some crazy reason I have and erection. I wave her on and tell her I'll be there in a minute. I visually follow her with my eyes and get a good idea where they are sitting. I try to understand why I have an erection but am in now way aroused. Then I think this happens a lot during dreaming.

I briefly wake up notice that yes I do have an erection and renter the dream non lucid. I have some thoughts about the music. Maybe that's his way of getting everyone to randomly get bored and thus ending the show in some strange dryly humors way. Or maybe he doesn't want people to linger and greet him backstage. That must be it.

I am back in the same seat and every is as if I had not woke up at all. (Perhaps I didn't really wake up?)Now I have some sort of blanket or cloak that I hold in front of me. As I walk it wraps around me and I feel secure and cozy. I find my wife and her sister almost up to the front and I sit next to them still enjoying the music. At the point more and more people start leaving. The music ends and Rainn says something. Then, "If you linger that means you a close pals with Dwight. You'll be just like him." I look over and my wife and her sister are gone. Some blonde is walking past looking displeased. Not wanting to be like Dwight, I say to her, "That's it I'm out."

I follow massive amounts of people out of the exits. The line just to get out seems impossibly long. For some reason, perhaps out of habit, I pat my pockets noticing my wallet, keys, and cellphone are missing. I begin to panic thinking it must have fallen out some place. There is some small table next to wall with my stuff. I snatch it up and check the contents of my wallet. My cards are missing along with my driver's license and Social Security card. I panic. My dad passes by and asks what's wrong. I tell him and he walks away uninterested. I want call my wife now to get the numbers off her cards to alert the bank and credit card company. I fiddle with the phone and place find it very difficult to place a call. One I finally hit send it disconnects immediately.

I realize I had wondered into the parking lot. I just wonder around looking for my wife or the car while trying to place a call. I feel helpless and actually begin to cry of the whole situation. I feel tears rolls down my cheeks as I become aware of other pedestrians and vehicles passing by me. I try to hide the fact that I am crying but eventual decide I don't care. I keep trying to call my wife and I become very pissed that my phone just wont work right. I begin to remember something and think, "This happens a lot in dreams." For some reason I think about how easy it is for my father in law to use his phone. Then, That's it I just need a new phone.

I put the phone away and now I am in some Christmas shop full of Dr. Sues looking stuff. I think this must be some sort of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" replica. I figure this would be a likely place to find my wife. I look around some narrow zigzag hallway decorated with lights and garland but only see strange faces. They are all women and I get the feeling like I should not be in there. Like maybe I wondered into the women's restroom. I wake up.

I use MILD and visualize an OBE with mantra

#2 Spiderman?
I wake from some NLD that I can't recall and am able to DEILD. Maybe I am just waking to REMatonia or SP. I feel tingles in my arms and legs but no vibrations. This time I really expected vibrations. I incorrectly visualized my OBE. I'll have to keep that in mind. I wake for awhile and become very bored. I don't think to induce the vibrations and I start visualizing wondering the house hoping to exit my body that way. I start with walking along the bedroom wall noticing the fell of it with both hand. I press my body to it almost hugging it.

Suddenly I am crawling up a wall that looks like the semi-gloss green of the bathroom and become lucid but on a lower level than usual. Now I slide down the wall as I think about gravity. I shift my thinking and think that gravity is wherever I choose. I tell myself that gravity is in the wall. I now get a grip and crawl to the ceiling. Again I chose gravity to be on the ceiling and I crawl to that. I begin to enjoy my control of gravity and crawl all over the small empty room that I am in without much effort.

Now I realize I have an erection again and...I'm embarrassed to say... I start humping the wall in various places. My lucidity begins to slip and I lose all self control. I wake up before too much happens.

#3 Xanous Knows Baseball
I am on a professional baseball field. I see my name on some batting roster and I head to the dugout. I laugh that my name actually reads "Xanous". I do a double take and notice that the spelling has morphed into a type of l33t speak but still clearly says "Xanous". I don't catch this and think, They must have got confused somehow and used my online name. I actually like it and decide to just go with it.

I see Tonya from work in the dugout and I ask her name. She says her name is Coraline and she is from Guatemala.
For whatever reason I blurt out, "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAL!"
I laugh at my mistake. "Oops. No that's soccer. We are playing baseball... HOOOOOOOOMERUN!"
She laughs and tells me how to say home-run in Spanish. I slowly repeat the word several times and she corrects me until i get it right. I can't remember what it was now but it was some long complicated word. I wake up.

#4 Off-Roading
I am sitting on a large 4-wheeler waiting of some black truck with huge off road tires to pass me. The sky is over cast and there is a large mud puddle on the trail. Somehow the driver of the truck communicates to me that they are waiting for me to lead them. I smile and motion them to follow. I say something like, "Try to keep up." with a cocky grin on my face.

I drive thru the mud and down the trail then I take a turn up an impossibly steep hill. I feel the 4-Wheeler struggle and throw mud as I open the throttle but I make it. At the top there is a shear grassy drop off. Beyond looks like something out of Skyrim but less rocky. I follow the narrow ridge but now I am being pulled along by a push mower. A long line of pine sapling get mowed down then I reach a steep muddy hill going down and ride down. At the bottom I think I should have done that on the 4-wheeler. Now I am on the 4-wheeler instead.

There is a camp site near some building that is basically a wall on the side of a dirt cliff. I gather up my stuff and load the 4-wheeler to leave. There are two guys coming out of the building. I think they must be the ones that were in the truck. They ask if this is how I go mountain climbing. I say, "No there's no rocks. I like to rock climb like that." I point to a poster tacked to a tree of a man rock climbing. the two men start talking to a 3rd unknown person. I get the feeling that they two guys are a gay couple. I look them over and they look too... pretty to be out in the woods. The more feminine man on the right says something about going to "The Wretched Festival." Is that a gay thing? Now they have their arms around each other. I begin to feel perturbed by it so I drive off without a word. I wake up.

I am with some friends outside and someone spots a drone hovering low with a giant camera lens on it. I get pissed that the government is spying on us all the time we all flip it off and yell obscenities. After awhile, the drone lands and morphs into a walking robot about 7 feet tall. I suddenly have a machine gun and I begin shooting at the robot putting bullet holes in the chest and head. It topples over with electric sparks. More robots quickly come and I run away as I blast more of them. One of them gets too close and I smash it's face with the but of my rifle. A disconnected robot head comes hovering at from another downed robot and bat it down and stomp on it until it is dead and smashed.

I look around standing near the body of a robot and realize that I made it inside some public building. The entrance way looks a lot like a bank and I can see something like a swat team storming up outside the glass doors. I put one foot on the robot and pose for the media. I know that I will go to jail but I want to make a statement for the rest of the country. I'll be a hero and a martyr.Then it occurs to me that the media is controlled by the state and will not portray me as a hero but more like a terrorist. The swat team points weapons at me and waits for me to come out. I put my gun down and hands and start to come out in surrender. Then, I realize that they too will not be kind to me. They will probably kill me anyway so I may as well run for it. I pause for a second contemplating my next move. Under my breath I calmly mutter, "Fuck it." I pick up my rifle and run for another exit.

I am outside running someplace downtown and suddenly it's dark. I am with others fighting along side me. I try to think where we can hide. Do we have a base? No. I just started this spur of the moment. Every looks to me as their leader. I try to think this out but two robots come looking like they have Guy Fawkes masks on in mockery. They over take me. At this point I become dimly aware that I am dreaming. And force the dream to have a different outcome. Mulligan. There is a blip and I am back just before they get me. This time I have my machine gun and I shoot them both down. A third figure comes out of the darkness. He looks like sometime organic and monstrous like something out of a video game. (I really can't recall exactly what it looks like anymore. I didn't write this down when I woke up.) I can't seem to hit it with my machine gun so I summon a large shotgun by reaching to my side with my right hand and expecting something to be there. Without looking, I vividly feel the gun materialize in my hand. Then, I easily blast the creature in the face.

I either lost lucidity here or I briefly woke up or I guess both.

Now I am on some boat docks with a group of American rebels. I think we could take several of the smallest boats we can fit into to avoid detection and try to make it Cuba. Perhaps there we can seek asylum. If not we will just hide out for a while. I choose something like a John Boat and get it. As we speed off into the darkness, I wake up.

I have been dreaming about boat docks a lot lately.

color code:
Gray = Comments
Black = Non-Lucid
Bold = non lucid dream cues
Italics = dream thoughts
Red = Lucid

I could not recall anything when my alarm woke me at 3:30AM. I felt alert like I had slept really well. I only stayed up for about 15 min and tried for MILD. I didn't have a recent dream to build on so I started visualizing an OBE. I forgot some of the NLDs because I didn't take DJ notes. I wanted to stay focused on MILD. I also include some mantras.

I woke to a FA. Tonya from work was in my house making noise and keeping me from sleeping. I tried laying on the couch but she turned the T.V. way up. I had to turn it off to keep my wife and son from waking up. I tried to get on the laptop at the kitchen table but April, the engineer that retired a long time ago, showed up and told me I had to leave. They were about to have an important meeting and I was not allowed to be there. I wonder into the kitchen and see Tonya doing dishes. I can smell something cooking in the oven. It smells like French Fries. She has a huge pile of suds in the sink and a glass of soapy water in one hand. She looks at me and deliberately pours water into the floor. I get pissed at her and she says it was just a prank. I told her that I didn't care if she was just joking with me. She went too far! I storm off into the bedroom to try to get back to sleep so I could maybe get lucid still. When I walk into the bedroom there is a huge screen above my bed with a French Fry commercial stuck on repeat. The fries look odd but delicious. I notice my wife going into the bathroom from the corner of my eye but I am transfixed by the screen. I wake up.

I recall the dream and try to change it at a point where I could have become lucid.The entire dream was so odd that I have trouble deciding where to start. I am too drowsy and do a poor job of MILD.

I have another FA but this time my kitchen is huge and open and looks like the upstairs area I've been working at my job. I can still smell the Fries and I see a tray of them out to cool.At some point here I do a quick nose plug but it fails. A part of me remembers the last dream and I tell myself, "The next time I am dreaming this I will know that I am dreaming." (Waking world habit bleeding in here! This is actually very encouraging even if I didn't get it.) My introspection is broken by my boss. She franticly tells me to clock into training and get some books out read over some process procedures until I get some work to do. "Just look busy!" I hurry to do what I was told. I wake up.

I fell like an idiot after recalling the dream. I notice It's getting light outside and I feel worried that I am not going to get lucid this time. I resolve my determination and switch to WILD

#195 - 6:39AM - WILD

This may have not been a true WILD but at some point I notice vibrations and it gets my attention.I think, Oh thank God! This is it! Even if this dream doesn't work out I still got this far! I feel my heart pounding with excitement and I take some time to calm myself. I then try to transition but lately it just seems so difficult to do my normal thing. I try spinning but it's slow and sluggish. I stop trying with the physical sensations and begin visualizing. I think of myself walking in the void with my hand in front of me. I focus on seeing my hands and soon I see a dim and blurry pair of hands in front of me. I have doubts this is really working and it feels super fake but I tell myself, "Just believe it and it will happen." I really put confidence into my abilities and soon I am in a version of my house.

I don't know if I just forgot what happened here or if I temporary lost lucidity but there is a huge memory gap that I just cannot remember.

I am walking past some dark alcove and I remember that I wanted to have a Skyrim dream (I've been playing a lot of Skyrim lately) I decide to get ballsy and head into the darkness to phase teleport. I put my head down and close my eyes running straight into the dark part of the wall. I feel soft resistance and then dark nothingness.

I focus on all the visuals I got from playing the game yesterday. I want to be in an open mountainous countryside. I begin walking and I can hear the crunch of my boots with each step. Soon, after much effort, I begin to see it but everything looks like an oil painting and lacks real depth or openness. The colors are dim and dull with little detail. I stop and focus on the ground and things got a little better but not much. I literally am stuck in a painting! I continue moving and try to open the "world" up and give it more life. I feel like I am making progress but suddenly I feel a strong urge to pee.

This puts me back in my bed and I panic a little thinking I need to wake up to pee. I try to move but SP has me locked in. I feel real bladder pain now and worry I might pee the bed. I know I can hold my breath to wake up but I really don't want to do that when I am so locked in like this. I laugh to myself and decide I should just try to hold it and dream a little longer.

I decide to spin and visualize. I enjoy the feeling of spinning at high speed with no motion sickness or centripetal forces for and moment while trying to "see". In a few seconds I am standing next to my bed. Everything is vivid clear and bright. I am shocked how clean this dream looks and I realize that this would be easy to believe as a real awakening. I step into the bathroom and see myself in the mirror. To be sure I do a nose plug while watching myself. I blow through but it's not clean. It's like my sinuses are clogged up a little. Oooh that must be why I failed in the other dream! I blow again slowly and deliberately until I am satisfied. Now, I study myself in the mirror and realize I am wearing wire frame glasses. I smile at this and wonder. I assume it's because I have been wearing reading glasses at work. I take them off but my vision get way too blurry so I put them back on. Better to look like dork then not be able to see. I study my face in the mirror and realize how wide this mirror is. It's huge! I am further amazed how clear and normal my face looks. I keep thinking how long this dream has been and I worry that I'm going to forget some of it. I try not to worry about it.

I don't want to spend to much time here so I decide to enter the mirror. I put my head in but it's solid. I remember to think about it differently and reach in with my left arm. The glass turns into quick silver and I reach back and pull my head in. My vision turns blurry and I feel like I am trying to see underwater. I really don't want to have to form a new scene again so I back out. My vision is back and I wonder into the joining bedroom. Again there is another huge mirror on the wall. The rest of the room is empty. I see those stupid glasses on me and decide I don't need them after all. I take them off and toss them to the floor. I watch as the glasses fall in slow motion and dissolve away. My vision is fine and I guess a part of me remembers the naked task. I notice I am wearing some khaki green sleeveless shirt and my gray gym shorts I wear as PJs. I get curious what I would look like in the mirror so I start my taking my shirt off. Maintain visuals. I carefully take my shirt of and keep it way from my head so that my vision is not completely obstructed. When I look into the mirror again I am wearing a black sleeveless shirt. I laugh and this time I rip my shirt down the front. I look pretty normal shirtless so I pull down my shorts and look at myself. I grab my junk and shake it laughing. At that moment Wurlman and another guy walks in laughing at me. Wurlman says something like, "Oh my God dude. What are you doing?" He laughs at me hysterically. I'm not embarrassed because I know it's a dream. I just say, "If my wife could see me right now she would be all like... Oh my God you're so sexy". I laugh. Suddenly I wake up. And guess what? I didn't have to pee after all.


I found this article while searching for a title to this dream. Not only is it great for waking life but it really fits with the mindset of this dream and lucid dreaming in general.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...il-you-make-it

color code:
Gray = Comments
Black = Non-Lucid
Bold = non lucid dream cues
Italics = dream thoughts
Red = Lucid

#1 I forgot most of this one. Something about some occult trying to stop my wedding to my wife. I have to fight back. I think they look like The Dark Brotherhood from Skyrim. I destroy some strange structure and some how I know that doing so killed my parents.

#2 I am walking in a park. A woman that looks like the non-cartoon version of Asian Reporter Thrisha Takanawa puts a mic in my face and asks me some questions. I tell her I don't speak Chinese. (Takanawa sounds Japanese to me) Someone tells me to just fake it. I say random nonsense stuff and they all act like I am saying something really great. (I think this is inspired by the family episode we watch before bed were Louis becomes Mayor) I see my face on a T.V. screen but it's not the news it's AFV. Apparently I didn't something stupid but funny. Something about "Cat Litter Surprise". Then they use my face to add on animations for other clips. I keep popping in saying "MONEY" in a comical German Hitler like voice. Everyone thinks it's so funny and acts like I am some kind of famous comedian.

I wake and try to MILD but I drift off into another dream

#3 Lisa from work is sitting at a table on a large deck outside.. my house? It feels awkward because I wonder if she is mad at me. She is talking to some other woman that looks like Michelle. I see bird poop on the deck and wish I had a hose to wash it off. Suddenly water starts to jet from in-between my toes on my right foot. I awkwardly wash the deck of. Lisa say's something polite to me and I respond then continue to wash the deck. I even give the grass a little water.I think, It's probably going to rain soon.

I wake up just before my WBTB alarm at 5AM. I get for a while and use MILD with mantra

#194 - 7:08AM - MILD

I am walking around some theme park with my wife that I think of as Six Flags. I think we must have ridden a few rides together. We pause looking for more stuff to do but it seems like there just aren't very many rides. She stops at some glass container full of something like Children's Miracle Network pledge cards. She is taking a bunch of pictures of random stuff then turns a takes an up close pictures of some woman and her infant. I begin to think of this a something like Disney World or Universal Studio's. I get a sense of urgency and want to make the most of our time since we probably will never come back. I become annoyed that she is wasting so much time and I gripe at her a little. She agrees and we turn and walk away now.
She seems sad and says, "Sorry you're not having any fun."
"No, it's not that.(lie) It's that we don't have much time left you are taking pictures of people's random babies." (I worded that funny in the dream. LOL.)
We look around and I feel really disappointed with this place. There just isn't much to do here. Then, I see some strange ride taking off on tracks.
My wife sees it too and says, "Ooohh nope nope nope!" and runs away. I wonder what is so bad about that ride as I chase after. We exit some glass doors and I got the feeling like the park was inside. There seems to be more stuff to do outside.

The sun is bright and I look around. There seems to be something like a park with trees and perfectly manicured lawn to the right. It looks like some people are gathering with chairs to watch a show in the shade. I see my father-in-law walking around like he works here. I notice he is wearing something like a tan Leprechaun suit complete with top hat. I find this really odd because he never wears suits and is a very large Native American. I think we should at least say hi to him before we move on but my wife is walking really fast and getting too far ahead of me. I feel torn whether or not I should follow her or talk to him. Then I see that suit again and notice he is doing something really odd. He's rubbing is hands together but has hay in-between. All this is too much and I ask myself, Am I dreaming? I think for a second, *gasp* I AM dreaming! I feel like I am about to wake up but I try to ignore it best I can.

I run over to my wife and take both of her hands. I look her close in the face and note how shifty and wavy it is but I ignore it. "Babe! We are dreaming! This is a dream!"
She doesn't say anything but she pulls away and gives me one of her you're-crazy-go-away looks. I sigh and let it go. I know there won't be any convincing her after that look. I pace in a circle rubbing my hands, thinking what my goals were. I can't seem to remember so I decide to just explore. I look out and see a small parking lot and a familiar looking street street and some building beyond. There is a red vehicle parked that looks like ours. I wonder if I am going to walk, run, drive or fly. But I really want my wife to come along so I say to her,"Well, I'm going to go do some stuff now. Are you coming?" I turn to look at her and take her hand but I wake up.

I was feeling sad my recall sucked all night so I really focused after the snooze.

I found myself having see with my wife. We almost flipped into an impossible position. There was brief darkness a vertigo. Then we actually do flip. I thought," This feels very dream like"
But before I really think it through we are now walking together on a long wooden deck outside.

I look back at the bed and see its red with some creepy boy sitting on it messing with a hand held device. I note part of my house has no walls but think nothing of it.

I follow my wife into the shed. She bends over to pick something up and I put her pants down to continue. At some point there is a dual image of me having see with her and humping some random plastic tote. I can hear her and feel really confused. I begin to question things when the alarm goes off.

I snooze again and find myself mountain biking with my parents. (lol ya right) I want follow a trail to a hidden park but dad is convinced it's the other way. I follow and when we get there I am proven right. There some yard and abandoned farm equipment.

We go back but it's dark now and I have some red flashing light on my bike. The are some people with some sort of ATV ahead and their lights blind me. I try to shield my eyes but it doesn't help. My bike fades away and I begin running. I enjoy the ease of it.

Now I am back at the start the next morning. I freak out that I left my bike. Dad's says it's not there but I have to at least look. I run and see that I am on some boat dock. There are life preservers and fish nets lying around. The water looks a little on the brownish green side. The alarm wakes me.

color code:
Gray = Comments
Black = Non-Lucid
Bold = non lucid dream cues
Italics = dream thoughts
Red = Lucid

I wake briefly and feel wakeful so I go for WILD. I have a lot of very heavy hypnagogia making it super easy.

#193 - 6:00AM - WILD - 2 of 2

I see a scene almost movie like. I am lucid but have no control. I am looking around behind the shed in my back yard. There is something hidden there or buried underneath that I don't want anyone to find. I want it to stop so it doesn't get discovered. I have great anxiety.

I turn around and see 5 from the movie 9 in a cage but its made of wicker and hay. I trust my hand through the weak wall of hay on the bottom half and pull him out

I turn around again and I am in my ex-in-laws drive way. I phase through the glass of the bay windows and see my ex's brother lying on a mattress. There is darkness but I wait it out until things clear up. I see him lying there at first in jeans then naked. I feel extreme hatred for him and bite his dick off. I feel something in my mouth but it feels like I am biting my bottom lip. There is no pain but the shock of what I just did wakes me a little. I promised myself I was going to treat DC's like waking life from now on.

I am standing at the kitchen sink rinsing out the coffee pot. Somehow I realize I just chugged the whole thing and was about to make another pot. I feel odd about this and tell myself I am dreaming. I feel like I am lying to myself but I go with it anyway.

I put grounds and water together in the pot and set it on the stove for a second with no fire. I tell myself that if this is a dream it will be perfect coffee without my trying. I pick up the coffee and put my hand in it. I looks normal and feels hot already. OK fine. I fully believe that I am dreaming now and gather my sense of self. I focus and try to think of goals. I realize that I am in my house so I go for the card. I wonder if that same idea applies even-though this is not an OBE. Still, I figure it will be fun to try.

When I get into the next room. I see darkness but totally ignore it and just visualize what I was going to do. I feel myself pull up to the top of the china cabinet. At the top I can see again. There is the card. I pick up up and at first it is the 9 of diamonds but the diamonds then morph to hearts. I jump down and walk back into the kitchen were there is more light. When I look at the card again it is half jack half king of clubs. I stare at it and laugh out loud and how funny this looks. I flip the card over and am a little shocked that is black and says Fallout on the back. (I totally forgot that I used the deck of Fallout New Vegas playing cards!) I also note that the card is thin like paper. I shrug the strangeness off and flip the card back over. It is now jack/queen of clubs. I stop. I turn to my daughter who has been looking over my shoulder. When the hell did that start? I say to her, "OK. I need to focus." I think, What is the card really? I set all my intent to really seeing the true card. When I look again it is the 7 of diamonds then the diamond turn to circles. 7 of diamonds. Good enough. I drop the card and in doing so the dream fades to black. No worries. Next dream please! (When I later looked at the card it was the 5 of diamonds. Close!)

I am back in bed and feel rather randy. Amy Pond from DW comes to mind. She instantly appears and I begin having sex with her.



After some time I begin to feel guilty and I try to imagine my wife. A blond version of her shows up and I finish with her. It was very detailed but, once again, I'll spare the reader and save myself some embarrassment.

Horrible segment I know but at least I tried to make it right!

After that, I have a false awakening but I am not at all fooled by it. I think about waking myself for real to record the dream but remember that I told myself I would do that again. I'll just have to trust that I'll remember all when I wake up. I get out of bed thinking must have messed myself. For some reason I am wearing jeans shorts. I find that odd since I haven't owned a pair since the 90's. I laugh a little at that.

Then, I notice something on my hands. It looks like some kind of thick clear goo like egg white. OMG that's so gross! I rush to the bathroom and begin to wash my hands in the sink. I note how real it all feels. I think I should probably just ignore it until it goes away but I become distracted by my reflection in the mirror. I sing a little tune while studying my reflection. "I'm lucid, I'm lucid, I'm so lucid..."

Now I really do forget about washing as my reflection morphs into many different versions of me. Most of them look dark and creepy. Some are zombie like and some are just plain evil. I don't worry about it and find it all very amusing. At some point I think to morph in to a Blutbad or werewolf. I naturally shift into it like I have before but this time I have the pleasure of closely watching it all happen up close in the mirror. I let out a low growl to help it all along. the low rumble coming from deep in my throat sounds and feels very convincing. I look down and see my hands are elongated, furry, with long sharp Wolverine claws. I relax and shift back to normal, then step back a little to get a clear view of my normal self. All the shifty morphing has stopped now and my reflection becomes clear and sharper than it had been. I look a little prettier than waking life and I say out loud, "Damn, I'm good looking!" Then for fun I go full werewolf and back again.

I decide to play a little more but this time I focus on my teeth. I open my mouth a little and try to give myself vampire fangs. My teeth look really dirty and brownish but ignore that. At first just the typical two canines slowly grow out and become sharp. I was feeling pleased with my abilities when suddenly all my teeth grow out long and sharp. At that, I decide that I've had enough and become interested with the mirror itself.

My teeth looked like Prisoner Zero from DW:


I tentatively push on the mirror with one finger. Again it feels as solid as stone. I push a little harder with my full palm but it doesn't change. I remember to focus on there being no glass. I try to reach behind my reflection but instead of just my arm going in, I fall in head first. The reflection becomes another room with it's own dept and realism. I feel a stuck at the waist for a moment and I feel the barely contained panic expression on my face. Almost like embarrassment. I force myself to relax and wiggle through. There's a split second of darkness starting to settle in as I fall through and become a little disoriented. Again I just ignored the darkness and it goes away.

I stand up and look around. The bathroom reminds me of a small restroom that was connected my class room when I was in Kindergarten so long ago. I hear a class bell and feel like I better get moving. There are two doors on both sides of the room. The right side feels like the way to go as I think the left must go back to my bedroom. I exit right.

Now I am in a large school that seems similar to my elementary school. I begin running down long hallways at high speed. The feeling reminds me of playing Skyrim so I try to make magic appear in my hands. I hold them up like on the game and visualize. I see some faint glow in both hands, the left is orange like fire and the right is blue like ice. I don't feel like it's getting there fast enough so I hold them more to my side vision as I focus on running. I pass many open class rooms full of desks and shelves of stuff. I don't really see any people. Now, there is a definite energy ball forming in both hands. I begin to ready myself for some real magic but I suddenly wake up without warning.

color code:
Gray = Comments
Black = Non-Lucid
Bold = non lucid dream cues
Italics = dream thoughts
Red = Lucid


I am back baby! I was SO happy to hit these couple lucids. I was planning to WILD but I was having trouble staying focused so I went with MILD and mantra, "I am dreaming. I always become lucid when I am dreaming."

#192 - 4:48AM - MILD - 1 of 2

I am at Wal-Mart with my wife and kids. There is some woman selling raffle tickets in the front entrance area. I am not sure if she works there or just some solicitor. I walk up, take the tickets from here and begin playing with them. She says her name is something Page. I recognize that last name as a friend and ex of mine. I say, "Oh you know her then?"
She answers, "I am her cousin. You know she's had 10 fiancés?"
I am shocked. "Really 10?" I glance over at my wife nervously. I think that I was one of them but somehow think this was not right. (It wasn't IWL). I go on, "I mean, I didn't think she was like that and I really doubt that's true. But that's really funny you said that." I walk off.

I am in the parking lot with with my wife and kids now. I see my breath like it is cold but it turns into thick smoke. I am amused and blow out hard. I see a long jet of white thick smoke. I think, It's like dragon smoke. I wonder if I am dreaming. Before I can really test this I see my 11 year old run blindly out into the parking lot at top speed. I worry that a car will hit her and I yell out her name. She stops, looks at me, and begins running back in the same manner. I start to tell her to just stop when I suddenly wake up.

I had another long dream segment but forgot most of if prior to getting lucid

I am a parking lot getting in a car. There is some African American woman about to shut the door on me when I turn to look at her I see the same dragon smoke coming from my breath. I recognize it instantly and become lucid. I stand up and the car and woman are gone. It looks like some familiar residential alleyway that I am standing in. The dream already feels unstable so I begin rubbing my hands. My mind feels foggy and I try to gather what I wanted to do. Then I remember that I had been lucid before this part but must have lost it. I don't focus on it too much but I get a clear memory of lucidly running with a woman looking for a silver sports car. I spot it and run to it.

I let the memory go for now. I am pacing and rubbing my hands still thinking. I suddenly remember that I wanted to go to the crystal cave. I see the back of someones shed and I decide to phase teleport. The dream goes black before I get to it. I don't mind. I just focus on visualizing the cave and the crystal walls. I vividly imagine the feel of it with my right hand.

Suddenly I am lying in bed. I think, DEILD and relax. I get very mild vibrations and a strange loud humming sound that somehow reminds me of crystal. I don't do anything that feels physical but rather I visualize myself getting up. My vision is a little dim but not a problem.

I push on a wall to try to phase teleport again but its as solid as brick so I continue to the mirror on the closet door. It's just as solid and I begin to beat on it repeatedly with both fist at an inhuman rate. The sound of it is so loud and that point I begin to wake up. The sound of me beating on the mirror slowly morphs into the sound of the box fan. I am awake.

After a long night I finally got a WILD.

#191 - 5AM-5:45AM - WILD/DEILD/OBE

I hit hard SP and had vibrations. It was a stuggle to transition and once I finally did the dream was weak and unstable. I couldn't see well and it was hard to walk. It's not that I had blindness or darkness, it's more like the dream state itself was weak.

First I rubbed my hands and could see them clearly in front of my face. It was not good enough for the rest of the environtment. I was shifty and blurry, fading in and out. I crawed feeling the hardwood and then some random carpet for stablity as I opened doors by reaching and pulling under the bottom edge. I finally made my way outside and as the front door closes behind me there is slience. I become dimly aware that there had been background noise like some sort of strange music.

The air was cool and had a slight smell of rain. I am walking now but the dream is still half formed. I call out, "HELLO?" noting the dream sound of my voice. It's always so odd.

I half wake up back to SP

I stay realxed and feel vibrations and hear that sound that I haven't heard in a long time. Again it feels so hard to do my normal transitions so I revert to just pure visualization. At first it feels like am faking it but it soon forms a full dream. I see my hands again and I easily made my way outside. I realize that I had been mindlessly pulling up segments of my front sidewalk and there is soft mud below. I remember my task to tunnel down to crystal cave so I do with it. The mud is so thick and dark that I am not really getting anywhere. I decide to make an opening by speading my hands and ripping a wide hole in the ground. That seems to be working but I half wake again.

I visualize randomness and find myself in a lying in log ride that looks like something from Silver Dollar City. I just go with it and wait it dosn't last long.

Back in bed. I try to move but can't. Wait no vibrations. Now, I don't know if it was bordom or menthol but I becan to visualize and form a full sexual fantasy to completion. I'll spare you the details.

I was back in SP again when I heard my son crying. That snapped me out of it.

I meant to do MILD after WBTB but I was so tired I passed out in the first few seconds of it.

I was in a strange house with two long hallways and an open round room. This room was the largest of all and had glass vaulted ceilings. I had the feeling of great wealth and freedom as I stared out into the night sky. I wanted to expand my house and I had a feeling like I could add on glass blocks like on Minecraft. Then a female DC (I think was probably my wife) started jumping on a giant round purple bed in the room. She said she liked the house the way it was. I noted how impossibly large this bed was and thought it could not be real. I became semi-lucid and for some reason wanted to remember how the rest of the house looked before I woke up. I ran around and got the basic layout before I had a brief awakening.

I was going through some underground dungeon slaying monster like creatures. Some looked like organic toy cars about the size of diner plate and I began stomping them. They would squish and ooze something like brains each time I stepped on them. Then I made my way to the boss battle. There was a giant green glowing bowl floating around with neon green liquid in it. I readied myself to fight as I taunted it. As it came at me I threw a fist at it but woke to the sound of a screaming kid.

Time about 5AM. That's actually good as I remembered to was trying to get lucid. Took care of the issue and went for WILD. Nope still passed out.

I was in the Luling house with some kids. I went outside for some reason and saw there was a large blackberry bush in the front yard. I remember my waking life bush and though they would not be ripe yet here. To my surprise, they were large plump and purple. I pulled one off the bush and ate it. The first one was very sweet and juicy but the next two were a little sour. The bush looked very dry like it had not seen rain in months. I thought I should water it but with that thought I felt rain drops on my arms. I looked up and saw storm clouds and heard a rip of thunder. I woke up to a sound.

About 7:30AM - Brief OBE - DILD

I stayed still to DEILD

I felt vibrations right away. After a few moments I blindly transitioned out of my body and thought I was still in the Luling house. I followed the hallways out of the bedroom. I became confused when I remembered I was not there but here.

Back in body. Vibrations. This time only my upper body would come free and I was very aware of the light outside. I got pulled back into my body and I focused 6 ft from the top of my head and the vibrations got stronger. I imagined pulling energy into myself and the vibrations go stronger still. After a moment I tried moving again. I floated up and did the 180 degree turn. I was not expecting that and I slammed back in. I continued to struggle back and forth for several minutes until I heard my son screaming again. All vibrations dissolved instantly and I woke up.

3:30AM - Lightning gun - NLD
Fragment shooting people with a lightning gun. Have a buddy helping. Looks like Borderlands.

6:00AM - Demons - NLD

There are square shadows floating in the air above us in a church. I turn around and pull out a long Obsidian dagger. I look around and everyone has blades of many shapes and sizes all made of the same material and all glowing. It begins to glow blue as I ready myself. The demons are afraid and don't come any closer. I slash at one and cut it in half. I take the other half and rip it up. I use dream control to make it dissolve into nothingness.

I am ridding in a car and the driver has a large envelope with one of the demons in it. It begins to moan and complain about trivial discomforts in a womans voice. The driver mockingly calls it his god. I wake up.

Time unknown - Micro Lucid - DILD
\
I walk into the living room and see my son running up to me. I pick him up and yell at my wife, telling her he was walking. I know this has to be a dream. But unfortunately I either woke up or lost lucidity because I remember nothing else.

5:50AM - DEILD - 2 of 2

I wake naturally from a dream a few minutes before the alarm. I don't move keep a clear mind and relax my body. I feel the change and reach out with my mind. I get instant vibrations but before I can transition out of body a dream scene envelopes me.

I am walking down a street with a version of my mom next to me. I see a pop up screen before my face and my mom immediately says, "Your subconscious has been locked out. (of this dream). You'll need to pay to get it back." The pop up shows a dollar amount of $7.99 and some text. I am crestfallen and I ask my mom, "But how am I dreaming now?"
"It's just your ego.", is her only reply. I totally believe all of this and know that money is useless in a dream. I'll have to pay later. I allow the dream to continue non-lucid.

With that out of the way we walk down the street together and I point out a couple of rows of plant growing out of the asphalt. It seems that someone planted them there like a garden. The alarm goes off and I wake up.

I have no time to proof read so I know there are huge typos. I apologize and will edit later. I just never have enough time anymore.

I started with MILD but was having difficulty visualizing. Switched to mantra for a bit then only a few cycles of SSILD.


#190 - 3:30AM - SSILD/WILD - 1 of 2

I feel the familiar feeling of transition like a chemical change in my mind. I am in total SP and there are zero vibrations. I can't move or transition out of body. I try Monroe's 180 method but it feels like I just rolled over on my face. I know this is a false sensation. I try rolling but at a moderate speed. Every time I spin I hear a mechanical roaring. I pause, spin again, pause, then try rolling out and through the walls of the house. I feel like I roll out into the backyard and circle round back to my bed. I wait a bit and get into some resemblance of a lying down lotus position and meditate with the mantra, "I am dreaming. I am lucid when I dream." I clear my mind and relax into the SP. After a moment or two I slow bring my feet out to touch the floor. Now I am standing but completely blind. I slowly open my eyes and see the bed room door. I am back in bed. I transition again and blindly continue into the living room. I pause and try to stabilize by feeling the floor. It's not helping my blindness so I just continue on outside. I feel cool air on my skin as I walk into the street. I continue walking and peering into the darkness waiting for the dream to form.

Suddenly, I am walking with a group of men my age and younger. I am lucid but I lose control a little and get swept up in the dream. It feels like HI and a little disconnected but I am controlling the flow. I become excited and yell out. I see several cars parked near a short rock fence. I hop over it and run towards a two door red convertible. I yell out, "Shotgun!" and hop into the passenger side. A couple of guy were following behind me with the same idea. One jumped on top of me and the other almost landed on the other guy but corrected himself to jump in the back seat. Darkness.

The dream becomes more vivid now and we are riding down a highway. I feel the wind on my face and lean out over the door. There are pine or cedar tress on either side of us. I whoop, holler and howl, listening to the dreamy distortion of my voice. I say, "You know what guys? We should get real crazy. Let's go rob someone." I look over at the driver for the first time and notice that he looks like a 1950's greaser. I don't find this strange at all as I wait for him to reply. He doesn't. He just continues to drive not looking at me or saying a word. He is expressionless in every way. This gives me pause and pull in my craziness for a moment. I think about my goal of finding NyxCC. I wonder where she is and how to get there from this point.

I stare straight ahead down and endless highway surrounded by a starless empty void. Suddenly one of the guys in the back yells out, "Reno, Nevada!" At the instant a strange tombstone shaped building with a huge neon sign in front of it materializes before my eyes with a burst of energy. I see tendrils of electricity cascade down the building and fade away. For a moment I am mesmerize as I have never experienced this in a dream before. I recover quickly and say to the driver, "Is that were Nyx lives? Reno Nevada?" He just shrugs in reply never looking at me. I accept that we are somehow in Reno, Nevada now. "You know were she lives? Can you take me there?" The driver nods and we make a right turn into a residential area. The night is extra dark save for a few houses with porch lights. Not wanting to get sucked into darkness, I point at well lit house. "Is that it?" The driver nods but takes me to the house next to it.

I get out and there is a strange garage like building shaped like an old hotrod with flames painted on the side. I get out of the car and walk to the car-building feeling unsure. When I open the door there is only darkness inside. I reach inside and slap around until I hit a light switch. It's just a hollow cream colored tube.

I turn around and see a house with red painted siding only about 10 or so feet away. I enter the front door and see a small cozy living room with a lamp and cough and tv set. The floors are hardwood and the room is fully furnished. I don't linger or pay any attention to the room. There is a door across the room and I enter.

The bedroom lights up as I enter but the light is very dim. I look up and see a square shaped light fixture. There is a small child like young woman asleep in here bed. I move over and sit on the edge of the bed. I shake her a bit saying, "Nyx, wake up." She looks confused for a moment and sits up. I notice she has shoulder length light brown to dirty blond hair and she is wearing something white. But I try to focus on her face to see what she looks like. It's a little blurry but I get a good enough look. I focus mostly on her nose. It's sort of button like and celestial shaped. I say, "Wake up! You are dreaming. This is a dream." She smiles pleasantly but looks a little confused still. I continue, "I'm Xanous... from dream views." I smile, "Hi." Comprehension dawns on her face and she seems a little embarrassed. I am not sure but I think I said, "Are you Nyx?" She nods yes. "Ok here is my code word and sign." I hesitate for a bit when I realize I forgot what it was. Then I remember and say the word and signal. "Ok what's mine?"
She replies, "Uh...um...well... I forgot." I give her a moment and I think she said something odd that didn't makes sense. Then I say, "You're not really Nyx are you?" I don't remember her reply but she doesn't seem to argue. We have more dialog but I can't remember much. She says, "You think you are legally blind but you are not." I feel shocked that she would know about the dream blindness I had at the start of the dream. She says something else that sounded like gibberish so I decide it's time to go. "Well I am going to go wake up now so that I can remember this." I step out the bedroom door that now leads outside only. I yell back, "You take care of yourself." and close the door behind me.

I look up at the full moon in the sky through tree limbs without leaves. I play at the limbs and start to fly but stop. Then, I think of transitioning into a werewolf but remember I want to test my teleport idea to get to China. I focus on going to China and try to stretch my body to that location. I feel myself get impossibly long then a blind of darkness.

Now, I am flying in a spinning vortex full of various star symbols and odd, broken structures with a rainbow like nebula in the back drop. I chat, "China China Chinatown." over and over as I watch the swirling images. Suddenly I realize I wanted to remember the dream. I feel like I can barely remember the start of it and begin to panic. I really need to wake up!

I plug my nose to hold my breath but I blow through. I laugh at myself a little and realize I am back in my bed stuck in SP. I try moving but only get phantom movements. I think how I just want to make a DJ entry in my tablet. I dream I am doing just that but realize I am still dreaming and it wont be there later.

I now I really hold my breath. It hurts and feels like a long time. I ex-hail but find I am still in SP. This time I suck in hard holding my breath. I commit myself to hold it until I just can't stand it any longer. It feels like an impossibly long time and hurts. I see a computer pop-up loading screen and watch as the bar gets longer. I wonder if I can die like this. Then I realize I will only pass out and start breathing again. Then I wonder what happens when you pass out in a dream. The bar fills up and I have to breath. I ex-hail long and hard and realize I am now awake.

1:40AM

I am an astronaut. I am riding in a mine cart up to a huge shuttle nestled in a wooded mountain side with my fellow astronauts. I hear a distant crowd cheering for us and I put both hands in the air in response. I tell the person next to me that I am so excited to finally go into space. I said I would go before I die and here I am.

At the launch site we do various mundane things to prepare. I wake up before anything good happens.

WBTB missed. I wake at 5 and decide its too late for WBTB. I go for a DEILD with the Monroe tech.

#not counting - Sometime after shortly after 5AM - DILD?

The dream forms and I find my self mixing epoxy at my old job. I look down and realize its actually pancake batter. I am confused with this dream and realize that I was trying to have an OBE. I throw myself backward to force myself back in bed into a lying position. I fall fast and then in slow motion and float. I get a vertigo sensation and butterflies in my stomach.

I am now in bed and I feel that familiar feeling of the dream state. I go ahead and try to move but I feel paralyzed. I wait for the vibrations instead of trying other exit method. I think maybe I am too awake since I never felt vibrations. I have too much importance placed on it and I lie in the void until a noise wakes me up.

I go for DEILD again

A dream forms and I see a white ball partially buried in grass. I think it looks like a golf ball and when I pick it up I see that I was right. It feels solid and I note the texture of the dimples. I realize I am dreaming and become way too excited waking myself up.

Lion, Tiger, and.... dog? - Time unknown

I am at my first job at Long John Silvers. I realize I am wearing that same colorful shirt from the hospital dream last night. There is a tiger and lion in the kitchen and they keep fighting. The noise of is is awful and I cringe every time they get near me and I worry that the costumers will notice and we will all get in trouble. A pug dog that I recognize as mine runs away from under my chair in the drive thru and I hurry after it. I runs into the front lobby and I nervously try to laugh it off and makes jokes about a dog in the restaurant.

I pick the dog up and take it outside. I decide to get in my car and leave. In the parking lot we can hear the sound of the tiger and lion fighting. It sounds odd and distorted (probably my wifes snoring!) Some one hears it and says it must be someone bowling. Not wanting anyone to know about the tiger and lion and agree that bowling must be the source of the noise.

Air Raid - Time unknown

I am in some old WWII era building. I know its all fake but I think it's some type of mystery role playing game in a museum. There is some puzzle with fans and someone tells me to get a shopping cart. I look down a hallway but don't see it. Then two carts some rolling in from an adjacent hall. I take one and push it to the fans. Something about the cart being in proximity starts the fans and a phone rings. I put it to my right ear but I feel some obstruction. I hear a creepy man giving me instructions but I can't hear very well. I decide my hearing aid (What? I don't wear one IWL) is malfunctioning so I put the phone to my left ear. I am confused when I still hear the voice in my right ear. I laugh at this but instead of question if it is a dream I just think my hearing aid is really messed up. Then suddenly I hear the voice in my left. I begin to think that I'm missing something important here but before I can think an air raid siren goes off. I hear a loud boom and the building shakes.

I know that I am the star of this show and I must get in a plane and parachute out. I run off with some guy that I know as the pilot. I stop and ask him who has my son R. He says my dad does and calls him a "dipshit" I run back a ways and see my dad carrying R and my two daughters walking behind him to safety. Knowing my kids are OK, I continue with the pilot. I wake up.

Fragments

I'm smoking again. I feel the sting of the smoke in my throat. I worry that I am addicted. I need to buy a pack.

I see a dead chicken on the ground. A second live chicken walks up to me.

I woke around 4:30AM and since it was too late for a WBTB tried falling asleep with SSILD. I was more tired than I thought and didn't get past the visual stage. Sometime later I had a brief awakening and I went for DEILD. I've had a playing card that I blindly placed face up on top of the china cabinet in my house. I finally hit an OBE this morning and was able to take a look.


#189 - 5:23AM - DEILD/OBE

I waited and I got that special feeling that made me realize I was close. I remember Monroe's tech but since I was so close I skipped a few steps. I went straight to focusing 6 feet off the top of my head and pulling energy in. The vibrations started. I concentrated on it for a bit noting the frequency and intensity.

I tentatively and slowly moved upper body just to check. Every felt right and my physical body seemed locked in so I went for it. I took off and phased through the bedroom door without a thought and went straight for the playing card. I reached the top of the cabinet and pulled thinking I would float up but instead it feels like I tipped it over. There was a strange brief vertigo and I'm not sure if I actually floated or I tipped it over. Doesn't matter.

I look around and see various scraps of paper but no playing card. Everything seems a little blurry and I think I just need to look harder. I say, "It IS here. I WILL find it." Then I see a card pop up in my face. It is the queen of clubs. I study it to remember but then it fans out into many cards all laying on top of the china cabinet. I see a couple of aces and a jack and I think a 9 and a 10. I decide that since I saw the queen first that I'll go with this one. I try memorizing the rest just in case but when I look a the jack it some how seems red with a black suit. I call it a red black jack. Then I realize all the other cards are doing the same except for the Queen. It's clearly queen of clubs. This HAS to be it! All this thinking and studying quickly causes me to wake up. I try to lay still for DEILD but it doesn't come and I have to pee.

The actual card was the nine of hearts. The entire experience was probably only a minute or two.