lucid

Bedtime about 10:30PM
pre-bed 5MG Melatonin
@ 4:30AM took 200MG Caffiene
SSILD

113 I Didn't Mean To Scare You - DILD?/DEILD? 5:30AM

For some reason I am digging in the cats' food dish. I see there are a bunch of caffeine pills in it. I carefully pick them out and start eating the pills. I have a hard time swallowing them dry. I decided to lay down and WILD.

Suddenly, I am laying in bed. When SP kicks in. At this time I don't realize that I was in a non-lucid dream and think that this has got to be the fastest WILD ever. I try to do my normal transition but my legs do not feel floaty at all. So I just stand up and open my eyes. The whole thing feels so real and I briefly think that I opened my real eyes. Its all so vivid I think its real and I lay down and try again. I quickly realize that it was not real as I had been feeling vibrations the entire time.

I don't want to try to escape my house so I try to imagine myself in a new location. I choose the beach. I imagine the water and the waves crashing in while standing bare foot in the sand. It all feels like I am just trying to imagine something while awake.

I keep getting uncomfortable as it feels like my wife is rolling against me. I keep trying to adjust and get irritated because she is breaking my concentration. At one point I feel myself roll to my right against my will. I begin to think none of this is really happening. I realize I am still feeling SP vibrations and I should probably just get out of bed and go with the dream.

Suddenly, my wife jumps up and goes into the dining room. I follow her thinking I am probably dreaming this. It is dark but there is light coming from the window. She stops at the table and I crash into the back of her. She screams bloody murder and runs back into the bedroom and slams the door. She seems really pissed off at me and I feel bad. It is all so incredibly realistic that I loose lucidity.

I follow after her to tell her that I was sorry and didn't mean to scare her. I am embarrassed and mean to tell her that I really thought I was dreaming. As I reach the door I wake up. I try to DEILD but I already know I took too much caffeine and I may as well just get up.

I have really got to find a more efficient use of my OBE time... Teleportation?

Bedtime about 12:30 am
Pre-Bed Alcohol
WBTB - Missed alarm. Too sleepy or drunker than I thought?
Sleep interruption at 6:30 up maybe an hour fitful sleep after that.

113 He's Already Dead! - DILD 9:30AM... ish

I am at my house. I wake up from my nap with the baby but I am on the couch. There is family from my moms side in my living room. I see uncle C next to me and my dad pacing. I realize my son is missing. I get worried and ask uncle C where R is.

C: He went with them.
Me: Went with who were!?
C: With all them to make arrangements?
Me: What arrangements? What are you talking about?
C: They are picking a plot for them to get ready for the funeral.
Me: Who's funeral?!
C: Your PawPaw.
Me: WHAT? WHY?
C: For the future.

I am about to say that he is already dead when I look up and see my grandfather walking into the living room. He looks really old and tired. Near death. Someone is has him by the arm and helping him walk. Then it dawns on me what Uncle C was talking about. My grandparents are making arrangements and picking a burial plot for their own funeral. (They actually did this in real life long before they got sick) I remember all of this and I point at my grandfather and and yell, "HE'S ALREADY DEAD!"

Fully lucid now, I forget about all the DC's in the room. They completely vanish. I stand up and jump and dance around. I can see something like bright moon light coming in from the windows and it casts a vivid shadow of my dancing self on the hardwood flooring. I just feel happy that I recognized a dream sign. I almost lose lucidity but I remember myself. I decide to try making fire from my hands again. I rub my hands together and get some feeling in them. Then I hold them up before my eyes. I close both hands into fists and focus. I try to imagine a flame in my palms as I slowly open then. I get nothing. Now the dream gets dark. I realize the living room is empty of all furniture. I rub my hands again for stability and then decide to just interact with the dream to keep it going. I dance around again like before and see my shadow again. I think maybe I tried too hard with the fire and now the dream is breaking up. I feel panicky now and decide to just go outside. I easily open the front door but it leads into a dark and empty room about the size of a smallish walk-in-closet. When I shut the door behind me the dream ends. My son is a wake and fussy.

Bedtime 9:40PM - 10:26PM
No Aids
SSILD / Meditation

112 Creepy Fun House - OBE at first of sleep.

I fell asleep earlier for about an hour in the recliner. We get to bed and I have a hard time going back to sleep. There were a few disturbances and I was up an down for a while. Finally I meditate to get relaxed. I end up doing SSILD a bit later.

I find myself in SP. I have a hard time at first but I forcefully get out of bed. Though it's dark and I have a hard time seeing, the room is lit pretty close to real life and I noticed that I opened my eyes. If feels real but what I see is from the right perspective. I wonder if this feeling is always fake and I have been having blind OBEs for nothing.

I open my bedroom door and I see (I get chills just typing this) that creepy ass ring girl from OpheliaBlue's dream. She is peaking around the corner at me from the kitchen. I pause. I am scared shittless but I have the courage to confront her. I say to her, "Oh no you don't. You just better stop it!" She seems afraid of me. She backs away and steps fully into the kitchen and out of my line of sight. Emboldened now and pissed, I say, I'm going to kick your ass. Get the fuck over here and I will kick your ass." I want to follow her but I am afraid I will be stuck in the dark with her and plus I really am a chicken at this point. I decide this is not the direction I want to go and I close the bed room door forcing the thought of the evil girl out of my mind.

I think maybe I can use the mirror to teleport since I have one right here on the back of the door. Solid. I start to concentrate on the mirror being a hole in reality an not solid. I get distracted for a bit and see my reflection. I have a painful and strained expression on my face. I look closer and it distorts into a fun house mirror. Then it get dark and I can vaguely see that I look like a werewolf now. I am amused and shocked. That's why she was afraid?

I relax and concentrate on falling into the mirror. It works. I feel myself go into a small opening. I feel like I am spinning with my arms and legs splayed like a starfish. When it stops I find myself in bed and SP again.

I think I hear my son crying. I grumble. Then, I feel and hear my wife quickly getting up to go check on him. I wonder if it was real or not as I am still in SP. Not caring much at the time, I get out of bed with a struggle. I get curious if I can spy on my wife so I go through the bathroom into the other bedroom. As I step into the bathroom I recognize that I have never been in here during OBE time. I feel the cold tile on my feet. I continue to the other side but the room tilts now. I am struggling uphill to reach the door. I stretch my left arm out and to my surprise my arm stretches to reach the door. I close my eyes and get both hands on the door knob. I opens and I have to fly upwards to enter the room.

I float over my son. I can see him sleeping in his crib. The lighting again is normal and I can see how the room is dimly lit with the night light. I wonder where my wife is.

Then I feel a presence or something pass through my torso. The shock of it sends me back into my bed. I hit SP again. Now I remember the demon girl and wonder if it was her that sent me back. I feel worried about my son.

I decide this dream just sucks and want to wake up. I think I can hear sirens of emergency vehicles outside. The sound gives me a sense of urgency and I really feel the need to wake up. I can't move. I say "Wake up." like some sort of command. I really thought it would work. Then I remember something I read about how to wake up from SP. I never thought I would want to use it but I do now. I hold my breath for a few seconds. The feeling is awful like suffocation. The suddenly, I watch and feel my awareness shift from the dream world to this one. The feeling is like no other. It's a different feeling from fighting to stay in the dream vs. fighting to exit the dream. I am still afraid and realize I am panting. I was very shocked when I realized how little time I just spent being asleep.


I wanted to record this experience right away as I was now not at all sleepy and kind of excited that I had an early REM lucid. I was still very afraid and It honestly took me a while to muster the courage to open my bedroom door again. All I could think of was what if I really see this evil entity when I open my bedroom door. I know it sounds silly but this one was just freaking scary!

Brief WBTB at 3:45AM
100MG Caffeine Pill
SSILD
Wakefulness 2MG Melatonin 200MG B6
Switched to sleeping meditation. Probably too an hour or so to finally get to sleep.

111 The Headless Boy - DILD

I am a student in a classroom. The teacher is going various things and I am just sitting quietly waiting with other students. I reflect on how this is a recurring dream for me. Instead of becoming lucid I think that this is the reason for the dreams. They were actually precognative dreams because now, I am actually back in High School. I laugh at the irony.

*memory gap*

I feel really sick to my stomach at version of my parents house. I vomit a small amount in a toilet. I see my dad walking through the room. It is not a bathroom. (I was getting sick in real life)

*memory gap*

I am walking in around inside what appears to be a large elegant hotel. I wonder around from hallway to hallway and room to room feeling lost. At some point I notice I am carrying a small child cradled in my left arm. He is about the size of my son and I think of him as such. I see an elevator. I hit the UP button. I get inside and feel confused. I push both 2 and 1 floors but don't really know where I intended to go. I think I must be on the 2nd floor so I'll wait for 1st floor. The door opens and I decided to just walk out but some woman is blocking me.

*memory gap*

I am still walking around in the hotel. Did I just leave the elevator and the woman? I realize something and say to the child, "You know what? I just realized that I have been telling my self that I am dreaming and then forgetting it almost right away." Then, I remember this to be true. (I don't think it really was true but whatever)I look down at the boy and he smiles at me with an "AH HA!" expression. I look up and see more elevators. I am not excited at all just really content to be having a DILD.

I look back down at the boy and his head is missing. There is no blood or gore but smooth non scarred skin where his neck should be. It was like he was somehow born this way. It almost looked like the end of a chicken leg bone covered in human skin. Fear and horror grip me but I push it away. I say to him in a fatherly tone, "Now you stop that. You better pop that head right back out young man!" For some reason I look away at the elevator. Blurry. Still holding this creature, I look back down at him. His head is back. Now that I really look at him for the fist time I notice that looks like a hideous, real-life version of Stewie from Family Guy.

Sort of like this...............................but more Chucky like.




The fear returns. At this point, I remembered something that I had read before and wanted to try out. Was it Robert Waggoner or Stephen LaBerge that said to confront nightmare DCs with love and compassion? In a brief moment the fear was now gone and I really did feel love for him. With a huge smile I said, "I love you son."
The boy replied, "I love you daddy." His voice sounded a little like Stewie. Then, I looked away and felt that his presence was gone from me. I did not need to visually confirm this.

Now with no real goal in mind, I look around for something to do. I see a glass door leading outside and think this would be a great way to try phasing. I walk up to it and push on the glass with my right hand. The glass bows as I lean in. I distinctly see the bright light of outside, sidewalk and grass. During this whole thing I repeat to myself, "There is no glass." I try to imagine exactly that. The feeling of stepping through nothing but air. I push harder and I feel my body merge into a soft "bubble". The glass is curved all around me. Persistent, I continue to push. Finally I feel something give and I jolt forward, free of the glass.
Happy with myself I look around.

I see a busy street in front of the building and I decide to play in the traffic. For a brief instant the traffic freezes. I remember how I used to freeze time way back in the day. I try clapping my hands and imagine the traffic freezing but nothing happens. So, I decide to "force push" a passing car and it scoots sideways and crashes into a tree. The other cars swerve and there is a pile up on that side. I run to the middle of the other side and jump in front of cars screaming and roaring like some monster. They swerve and crash. The carnage is total but very cartoon-like and not realistic at all. Bored, I remember how I've done this before in the zombie TOTM and move on.

I go back to the building. I see some sort of colorful cloth awnings over the glass door and and several windows. The one in front of me is yellow with orange stripes.

Similar to this.



The building is tan brick but I think of circus tents. I see a yellow flag on a red fabric roof. It is only a two story building after all.I try to jump on top but I only get so high. When I float back down I feel my stomach turn and I laugh at the sensation. I wonder how I can feel negative Gs in a dream. Now I remember how CanisLucidus like to swipe the ceiling in real life. I wonder how it works in a dream.There is no ceiling out here but I improvise. I quickly rub my hands for stability. (Habit?) I jump at the bottom of the awning and swipe it. Again I feel the sensation in my stomach as I slowing float back down. Now I really try to jump on top of the building. I bounce several times gripping my stomach until I finally get high enough to grab onto the top. The roof feels like some sort of thick vinyl. I look around but for some reason I can't render the scene from up here. I feel extremely near sighted. The dream seems to be breaking up so I jump down back on the ground.

Now I have tunnel like vision. The darkness is closing in but I try to interact with the dream to squeeze out every last second. I see a beautiful woman in a convertible. The car looks a lot like this.



She is in the passenger seat and an old lady is driving. She seems to be of mixed race. She has a 70s looking afro. She smiles and waves at me. At that I run to her. Not thinking clearly but still lucid, I react on a whim. I close my eyes and kiss her passionately. The physical sensations are vivid. I get a grip on myself and let go. I begin to float away and find my self in total darkness.

I want to DEILD but I am truly sick and have to vomit.

Bedtime 12:30A
5MG Melatonin

WBTB 5AM
Strong Coffee, 2MG Melatonin, 200MG B6
I was up only for a few minutes and then did SSILD.

#110 New exit tests

I have some dream about being at the mall. My wife was working there. Something about the maintenance doors and something needed for security. I sit down at a table and have a cup of coffee. I take a drink and am reminded of something. The memory that I wanted to LD wakes me a little. I am in the void and I say to myself, "That coffee kicked in fast." Then I remember that I have been dreaming already so It's been a while.

I relax and DEILD.

I go straight into SP. I get up like usual. I am standing and I try to see by opening my eyes. I feel like my real eyes open so I close them. I wake a little.

I relax and DEILD.

Sp again. I just relax and focus. I feel like I am spinning. When it stops I try to imagine a rope above me running horizontal. I reach both hands up and make a motion like I am pulling my self toward the headboard. It doesn't work. In fact, I wonder if I am really awake and just making hand motions in the air. I stop and try it different. Imagine floating in the same direction to phase out through the wall. It feels like my body is dragging on the sheets and bunching them up I come to a stop. Our headboard is made of metal bars and my head gets through but my right shoulder hits a bars and I stop. The sensation is realistic. Sold and solid. In real life my head would not even fit between the bars so this was encouraging. I wake a little.

I relax and DEILD.

After the vibrations settle. I relax and reach up with my hands and try to pull myself through this way. The bars feel realistic in my hands. Again my head gets it but my only my right shoulder catches a bar. I pull harder (Not nearly hard enough) but the feeling on my shoulder increases slightly. Giving up too easily I stop. I wake a little.

I relax and DEILD.

I get vibrations again. This time I think to do just do more visual. I relax and let my imagination go some but still focus on the dream. My hands and arms feel floaty like there is no gravity. I can see now. I am still laying in bed but I can see the wall at the head of the bed. There is no window but I see a shelf with some trophy on it. I can see it has fallen over and is on its side. I can see the golden head of what looks like Oscar. On a whim I reach for it. I try TK. I think I see it floating to me but when I try to grasp it there is nothing. I wake up a little.


This time I am fooled by an FA. I think I have to pee. I think I will sip some more coffee and try again. I am peeing but it feels odd. I realize I am dreaming but I am so worried that I am actually peeing the bed that I jolt awake

All is dry. I think if I had a little more determination I could have phased through. Getting out of my house is a bitch and for some reason the OBE style dreams are the most common for me.

Lucid time: maybe 5 min
Sleep time after WBTB: approx 70 min

Bedtime: Midnight 5MG Melatonin. Some amount of RUM.

Wake 4:30AM
Meditation 15 min.
1 cup strong green tea caffeinated.
Back to Bed at 5:00AM
Tech: WILD


#109 Damned Rainbow Demon 5:30AM

During WILD I get strong HI/HH. I am driving in the country in the fall. The leaves are changing colors. Weezer's Dreamin is playing quietly in the background... on the radio? I hear birds chirping. Then I notice that the birds begin to sound distorted and electronic like some sort of strange robot bird. Now I realize I am in the dream totally. I say to my self, "It's go time." But now I am back in my bed with vibrations.

I wake for a bit. My hands feel like they are floating up on there own volition. I rub them. The sensation feels ultra real but a little like I lost circulation. I easily get up. It feels so real that for a moment I think I am really wake. I ignore that thought and just go with it. Then, the sheet feel wrapped around me funny. I pull it out from under me like I was swaddled. I stand up. It is dark and I feel that I just need to open my dream eyes but I open my real eyes and see the dark room where I am laying in bed still. Shocked, I wake a little.

DEILD

I am back in bed with vibrations again. This time I am more focused. I easily get up out of bed and stand. Again it feels ultra real. I can see the light coming from around the edges of the door and lighting the floor. The rest of the room is dark. I hear this strange sound like an evil electronic raspberry noise. I become gripped with fear. The source of the sound is coming from my wife's side of the bed. I know that it's the Rainbow Demon and worry that it will attack me again. I point to the sound and say, "NO!". Suddenly, it stops.

Still afraid I rush out of the room and slam the door behind me. Let out a sigh of relief. The fear doesn't leave me so I rush to the front door to go outside. On the way I see some blankets on the floor. Fully distracted now, I think how we just cleaned for company before bed and wonder how and why there are blankets. I stoop to grab them quickly but I fall. I land on the floor hard! Then, the floor gives and I fall through it into totally darkness. I wake up. I try to DEILD again but nothing happens right away so. I record the dream before I fall back to sleep.


Sometimes I think there is something that wants to keep me in the house. I need to remember to just phase through the bedroom window and be done with all of that. I spend to much energy just getting out of bed and then the house becomes a pitfall. Hmm....

5MG Melatonin at bedtime

WBTB 3:30AM - 4:00AM (I spent the time meditating) No aids

I got back to bed and do SSILD. At some point I feel vibrations. I don't get super excited but I say "yay" in my mind. I try to move out of my body but it feels like I am moving my physical. I wait awhile to let the SP set in.

While waiting, another dream forms that is mostly non-lucid and/or uncontrolled. I am at work and some one brings me a cable to fix.

While talking to them I go ahead and transition into OBE. I feel the floor and begin walking out. All the while, I am having this other dream. I go back into SP. And transition out several times.

There are no ID's on the cable. All the sleeves are yellow blanks. I question this and the man replies something. I now see that here is a black sleeve.

At the same time, I am in the living room but I am blind. I try to produce fire from my hands. I can see light like behind closed eye lids.

During that, I tell the man that needs to be a fire image on the black ID sleeve. I make an outline of it with my finger.

I wake up and try to DEILD once more but I was too shocked.

I literally had two dreams at the same time. It's really hard to make an entry like that but that's the way it happened. Fascinating!

While thinking about this dream I remember a fragment of being at work. I am twisting two pieces of spiral wrap. One is colored blue and the other is red?... Yellow?. Anyway, while doing this I tell someone how I had a dual dream. Two dreams at once.

Bedtime 9:40pm
Melatonin 5MG


I clearly remember being lucid but the dream recall was a blur. It seemed like a crazy nonsense dream. Something about choosing door number 1,2,3. I woke up and thought I saw the bedroom door. Started rubbing my hands for some reason. I think I was still in the dream because I woke up shortly after that and my hands were down by my side. I tried to DEILD but it wasn't happening. The time was 11:39PM

I am not adding this to my count but I think it was interesting that I was lucid in such early REM.

My wife is watching the girls at ex in-laws house. I don't see the ex any place but I see her parents working in the yard. There is some neighbor boy detailing cars. I go out to do something. I say, "Oh your washing the cars?
He simply replies "Yes." I notice we has drenched everything in Armor All. He looks at me and says, "I love armor all. Smell."
I tell him, OH! It's different but smells good." I notice a sweet chemical smell. Not bad. I walk about some and sit on a tail gate or some truck. I watch the ex in-laws working out side. I see my wife sit down next to me. Now that I am just sitting I have time to ponder. I say to her, "I don't know why I am here." I feel confused. I think harder. "Ha I am dreaming!" I laugh and slap my wife's leg. Blackness.

I lie still trying to remember the dream so I can record it. This causes and accidental DEILD.
I have an FA where I am entering the dream exactly on my phone. I start with the boy and enter all the details. I have a hard time getting the text to type out right. Something seems off. I see the ex in laws working again. I become lucid again. I speak to my ex mother-in-law sort of rudely. "Hey what are guys doing?
She pauses with a rake in her hand and says, "Getting ready to move."
"Oh ya where?"
"Next door."
"Psssh! What? This is a dream. There's no next door."
"Over there." She points to the old Mitchell house.
"Yeah right. I'm going to see."
I am curious because I always wondered what it looked like on the inside. I am instantly in the other front yard. I feel my steps are heavy like I stepped into a shallow hole. I breifly worry about waking but I feel like the dream is really stable. I think I will go on for a long time. I relax and go with where the dream will take me. I walk and see an impossibly long room for the house. The living room, dining room, and kitchen are all open with no dividing wall. There is blue carpet. I say, Notice some parts of the wall are bare sheet rock. I yell back behind me. "You still need sheet rock... I mean... um... texture. I get to the end of the room and see a raise section like a big square. "What is this? A stage?"
I hear ex father-in-law say, "Yes."
I turn around. I see her at the far end near the door and he is in the doorway.

Now I think to speak to the dream. "Hey let me as you something." She fades away and camouflages into the wall. She seems really nervous now. I ignore her and I go to him. He looks like L from work now. I feel the dream fading but ignore it. He's nervous. He knows what's happening. He walks away from me trying to avoid my question. I ask it anyway. "What does this dream represent?" He gives a nervous laugh and tries not to look at me.
I insist, "Oh common man. What does it represent? Does it mean anything?" More avoidance. I continue, "Or is it just Random bullshit?"
He gives another nervous laugh. Awkwardly he says, "I... don't...know."
I go blind now. I try to get one last word in. "Why not? Tell me!" I wake up and try to DEILD again but it is no use.

5:20AM Short WBTB With Coffee

I have a non-lucid about being in a collage dorm. I hear a woman make an anouncement on the intercom. She gets her words messed up and laughs and tries to correct herself. I think the more she talks the worse it gets. I see my wife and she says something about JM. I lay down to go to sleep.

I get SP. I feel the vibrations for longer than usual. I takes me some time to realize what is going on. I hear my wife saying, "Honey, get up. You're going to be late. Get up." I realize this is a dream and I think about getting into the dream. At that moment I feel her straddle on top of me. I open my eyes and see that fractal rainbow demon again. I screams a banshee scream like an electronic raptor. I try to scream in fear but I can't. I try to get up but the weight of the thing is holding me down. My hands are pinned above my head. Instead of fighting I say, "You are not real." I relax and push the thought of it all away and it leaves. I am now free to move. I am calm now and all fear leaves me. I get up but instead of leaving I get the idea to try and see my body. I turn around and in the dim light see that I am not there. I see my wife's form sleeping. I try to feel her face but she is like a phantom. My hand passes through and I hit her pillow. but it is just pillow. I try again and only paw at her pillow over and over. I stand up and say, "Oh well piss on it." I walk out if room and wake up.

Non lucid about my sister and DECA.

Feel like I was lucid but can't remember.

4:00 WBTB

4:20 back to bed coffee 200mg b6

SSILD

5:30 wake up feed baby. Vague memory about being lucid or dreaming about it. Something about trying again.

6:00 back to sleep one more coffee sip

vivid non lucid about some cops.

Wife's alarm 7am

I move around some but really focus on DEILD. I think I can hear the alarm again but I know she just hit snooze. Ignore it knowing I am about to be lucid. Now, I feel vibrations. I notice the sound from the box fan goes away completely. I can't move yet and I feel like I am not quite there. I wait a few more seconds. I imagine my feet moving over the side of the bed but its not working. I relax and notice the vibrations. Now my legs feel like they are floating and I move them over the side of the bed. As soon as I feel it I rush like the wind out of the bed and through the door. I didn't even bother to open it nor did I realize that I was phasing through.

Now I am standing in my dining room. I see light coming through the windows and the area I am standing in is lit but the rest of the house is dark. I run to the front door but everything goes black and I can feel nothing. I pause not wanting to wake up, I step back while rubbing my hands together until I am back in the light and can see.

Instead of fighting the dream I decide to try something else. I raise my hands in supplication and tilt my head back like I am praying to God. I say to the dream in a loud and clear voice, "Show me something important... PLEASE!" I pace around while asking this and end up walking into the kitchen. For some reason I always feel like I am really talking in my sleep and I worry that I will wake my wife up. This thought of the physical world makes the dream to begin to fade. I get the same visual as when I went to the front door. Dark nothing. So I back up rubbing my hands.

Now there is no light in the window. I can still see my hands but nothing else. Then, I can't even see my hands. I can hear the sound of the box fan again. I hold still for DEILD.

I feel vibrations and the fan fades out once more. I think instead of transitioning out of my "body" maybe I can visualize a new scene and skip all this escaping the house. My mind draws a blank and I just end up visualizing myself walking. I can feel my feet like they are moving in my bed. I feel the blankets rising and falling and the feeling of it on my toes. I laugh to myself knowing its not real. I rub my hands and together and it feels like I am really doing it. I lick the back of one hand. My mouth opening my tongue reaching out and touching my hand. The warm moisture of it. All of it feels as real as real life. Now for some reason, perhaps I am thirsty, I feel like I have a cup in my right hand. I am still blind and feel like I am laying in bed but I know the cup. It is the green plastic MSSU cup we got at the art walk. I put it too my lips and drink. The taste is amazing. Cold wet and sweet. It tastes a little like Dr Pepper but flat. It is the best taste ever. It feels like pure ecstasy in my mouth. The feeling beyond real and indescribable. At some point I feel like the dining room table is pulled up over most of my body and it feels like a part of the table cloth is tucked under my chin. I think that is fine I don't want to feel like I spilled it on myself. I continue to take little sips and after each one I smack and let out a "mmmmmm" sound. I just enjoy the sensation so much that I get lost in it for a while.

Then I hear my wife. She makes a sighing sound like she had just woke up. "What are you doing? You're drinking something out of the back of your hand?" For a second I think this is real. I think I am lying in bed making out with my hand. Then I realize that I am probably still dreaming. In fact I know it. I laugh to myself again. I try to get back to drinking this wonderful stuff but now it really feels like the back of my hand. I allow myself to do a check. Somehow I can now feel my real hands down by my side and my dream hands at my face at the same time. This is shocking and I begin to wake up. I can hear the fan come back into my reality and I open my eyes. The snooze alarm goes off again. 9-10 minute dream?

I did my usual routine. Execpt my WBTB was only a few minutes and I snoozed the alarm for almost an hour. I was really tired.

I am having HH/HI and I get a weird floating feeling. Suddenly know its time and I shoot straight up on my feet. There was no SP, vibrations or any other noise.I am standing in my bed. I find it a little disorienting at first but recover quickly. I can see fine in this version of the bedroom but the lighting is dim. Think about my goal of finding the TARDIS and bolt for the bedroom door. Maybe I was too excited because as soon as I touched the door I woke up. I tried to DEILD but it was no good.

I had a few non-lucids after that. One was a zombie dream. I was holed up in a house with a little boy. Carl? a bunch of people are outside so we decide to leave. We hop in a car and drive away back wards. Some woman runs up to us super fast and slaps a paper on the windshield. There a bunch of writing in blue and red marker but all I can see are the words, "I only want Mike." I say I don't know a Mike but its no good. She knows its me. After she tries to kill me and we fight and wrestle we both get turned on and make out. I find out that she was an old flame and she was pissed that I ran out on her. I tried to explain that it was because of the zombie outbreak. I told her I was sorry and I didn't know what else to do in all the chaos. She seems to forgive me. After some more conversation I wake up.

Thoughts | Non-Lucid | Lucid | Techniques/Aids

WBTB 30 MIN. Coffee. 2MG melatonin. 200MG B6. SSILD and thinking about TOTM

Dream time: about 4:20-5:00AM

Jingle Bells in the Snow TOTM

I am somplace trying to sleep. I think my mom is there. I am sitting in an office chair and can't get comfortable. Then I lean back and relax. I let my head back unsupported and my arms are limp. I begin to feel like the chair is spinning. I notice how dream like this feels and I become lucid.

I get up and notice that I am at work. This part of the plant we call the barn. I walk to go outside. Everything looks as it should. I remember TOTM and begin singing Jingle Bells as I walk out side. "Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way." I feel self conscious of my singing and lower my voice. It sound amazingly real and I wonder if I am really dreaming."Oh what fun it is to ride in a..." Now it is a whisper but I am still singing,"one horse open sleigh.... Jingle be...." For some reason I think I might wake someone up.

I begin to doubt that I am dreaming. I think if I am dreaming I will not feel cold. As I step out side I notice the temp. It is warm and but I can feel that my feet are bare and cold. I know it is cold in real life and I would never be bare foot at work. Ok good.

I want to make it snow. I forget all about singing. I see the maintenance building and the awning. Just like real life. I am still wondering if I am dreaming. I think if I am dreaming I will not feel cold. I start saying "Snow" over and over.All most instantly I see a fine mist in the air. I think it looks like sleet. I step out from under the awning. I feel it on my face and hands. It feels so real. But its not snow so I concentrate. I imagine flakes in the air. I see a few for up close and it looks like large pixelated snow flakes in my face. Still wasn't good enough. So, I focused on seeing snow on the ground. First I see piles in the parking lot. They are dirty like someone cleared the lot. I put my hands in it and notice I am now wearing heavy gloves and warm clothes. It feels slushy like it is melting. I look in the sky and try harder. Now I see heavy snow coming down. I look to the grassy area and it is thickly covered. I jump on my hands and knees and whaller in it for awhile. I notice how the snow sounds like rain but looks like snow. At that moment I hear a distant crack of thunder.

I remember how sivaison wanted a blizzard. I think that would be cool. So I begin to visualize that. Now I see a wall off thick swarming white snow coming toward me. I begin having trouble keeping my vision firm and stable now. I am engulfed in it and carried away. I am flying now. I look up and can see clouds. I try to focus and I think maybe I can still pull of the advanced task of Aurora Borealis. I begin to fly upward but the blizzard catches up to me and engulfs my vision in a bright white light.

I am now in my bed. I think about the white transition and wonder if I am still dreaming. I have a strong feeling I am but by son is crying. The bassinet is in the wrong place. It's at the foot of the bed and I move to him. I try to pick him up but it is all moving trashing blankets.I feel confused and I can feel anything with my hands now. Then, my wife comes in the room and I let her tend to him. I do a nose plug now and confirm I am dreaming. I relax a bit but now I really wake up.

Thoughts | Non-Lucid | Lucid | Techniques/Aids

5MG Melatonin, 2 shots Lemonade Vodka early in the evening, SSILD

Bedtime: 10:30P-6:00A

#101 DILD Penis Chop 1:32AM

I remember flying in space and ariving on board Star Trek USS Enterprise. I am welcomed on board by Captain Jean Luc Picard. I do various task with the ships computers. Fixing this and that. I don't really remember much.

Later we are over taken by some bad people. They force all the men to line up in groups of 3 and take turns chopping off their own penises. It comes my turn and I step up on a platform. There is a dark hole in the floor to catch the penises. I stretch mine out and hold a knife in the other. I don't want to do this. I look up and see a Klingon snearing at me. I know that if I don't do it, he will and I'll have no warning. I wonder which is worse. Me doing it or him. I begin looking for a way out.

Now I am so terrified that I become lucid. Now I know I am dreaming I think it wont matter if I do it. I wont even hurt. I visualize a cutting a hotdog. I move the knife a little but I still can't. I start to freak out. Now everything is worse because I feel trapped in this dream.

Then I get it. I decide to refuse the dream. The feeling is like in the movie "The Matrix" when Neo just calmly tells the bullets "no". (I know it sounds cheesy but that's the best way to describe it.) I relax and force the dream scene to collapse. At that point I sort of just checked out lucidly.

I am now non-lucid. I see a video game like scene. There is a green Mario pipe. I fill it with a block of sand and pour water on it. Two 8-bit sunflowers pop up. I wake up needing to pee.

WBTB alarm missed wake up about 4:40AM. Recorded a NLD. Coffee no Melatonin. Back to bed. Only up about ten minutes.

#102 Flying With My Wife / TOTM fail 6:00AM

I can't for the life of me remember the first chunk of this dream. I assume it was DILD and the first part felt really long. The dream was rich and very vivid. Maybe it was the lack of melatonin this time?

I am dimly lucid with my wife. Something that happened before feels like a dream I had a long time ago. We are inside a stone structure that looks like something from Minecraft. It is just a hollowed out area of 8-Bit stone with a large rectangular window leading outside. I take my wife by the hand. I remember starting to question if I am really dreaming. Then I say of course I am. Then lucidity get really strong. I tell my wife, "We have a TOTM to do."

We step out of the window and jump down. I look up and see the night sky. I look for the Aurora Borealis. Nothing but black. I run with my wife still holding her right hand in my left. I am excited. It feels like we are lucid together. I use expectation to put us in a snowy northern location thinking that will help. I look my right and see a frozen pond. There are Minecraft like cubes of ice and snow everywhere. Now I can hear the cruntch of snow under our feet. I say, "Look babe, See? We are up north now. We should be able to see the northern lights."

I use expectation again and tell myself that when I look up it will be there. Almost but so brief of a color streak. I try to will it in to being. I see some color in the sky. Another brief streak of dim dark green. I spend a considerable amount of time trying to imagine it. Each time it almost happens and then fades. I see a cloud that is lit up and multicolored. Lightning. flashes from behind it but nothing what I am wanting to see. At one point I put my right hand up and try to visualize the Aurora coming out of my hand. I see it like it is in my mind but on in the dream. (does that make any sense?) I put my hand down.

I decide to fly up and get a better look because I keep noticing tree branches around us. We fly only a few feet and land. I get irritated. Then, I get an idea. I tell myself that my wife can fly with no problem. At that instant, she floats up as far as she can go above me. We are still holding hands. I say, "OK great! Now pull me up." She pulls and now we are flying. With her in the lead pulling me, we float high into the sky. There is disappointment when there is no change in the sky. I begin to stare and concentrate at the cloud. Thinking color will spew out. Bad idea. I sat idle for too long. It was too much like meditation. The dream fades to white and I lose lucidity.

I slowly open my eyes. I see parts of my lashes in the light. I realize that I am staring at a brightly lit light bulb. There is an over head lamp on the on the head of the bed. I look around and see my wife alseep to my right. I see our dog snuggled up to me. Then I see my Aunt J with her head at the foot of our bed in between us. I wonder why the heck she is sleeping with us. I shrug it off and begin thinking about my lucid dream I just had.

I begin write in my DJ on my android device. Aunt J wakes up at that moment. She says, "Shiiiit. What am I doing?" and runs off. I watch her and notice that we are in a bed outside. She storms up a deck and starts to go in a house. She pauses and says something about "We didn't have sex." And makes this ridiculous facial expression. Instead being full blood Japanese she now looks African American. I'm just like OMG how can you even think that. Just them my wife wakes up. I say, "I don't even know what that was all about."

I look back to my DJ and then pause. "Hey babe, guess what? We had a lucid dream together."
She stretches and smiles, "OH YAY!"
I decide to get on DV to post in my workbook. I thought to mention that I was out of town visiting family so I won't post my dream yet but I had lucid #101. I was thinking how I failed the TOTM and remembering the lucid dream. Then I suddenly wake up for real. I quickly do a nose plug!

Thoughts | Non-Lucid | Lucid | Techniques/Aids

No pre-bed aids except for a little Guinness.

WBTB 4:00AM - 6:00AM I intended to only be up 30 min but lil Mr. Dude decided to wake up and it was my turn.

Coffee and 2MG Melatonin. SSILD At 4:30AM I drank a small amount of coffee right at the end of my 30 mins. (one or two mouthfuls) I got interrupted at this point and at 6:00AM I drank another sip and 2MG Melatonin to ensure drowsiness. This method combined with WBTB and SSILD seems to have a high rate of success. 100% of four nights this week. However I am not a huge fan of this as I am not sure how wise it is to keep drinking caffeine during my WBTB.

6:47AM Toilet DILD

I have been doing SSILD and getting a lot of strong HI/HH. This was actually starting to turn into a WILD attempt. Suddenly I realize that I am standing at a toilet peeing. I look to my right and see some wooden tables with chairs like some sort of cafe or fellowship room. I look to my left and see a hallway and a dark wooden door on the left wall of it. There is an exterior door leading to what I assume to be outside on the left side of the toilet. Even though there are no people around I feel like I have no privacy. Then I recognize this dream sign and instantly I am lucid. I look down and see that I am still peeing.I tell myself I can stop because it doesn't matter now. I turn to my left away from the toilet and see that I am now just peeing all over the floor. I feel shock at this. Now for some reason I get dizzy and I fall on my back. The dream goes dark.

This part of the dream becomes so real that there is no difference between then and right now.I start rubbing my hands together to stabilize or re-enter the dream. I open my dream eyes and I the feeling feels like I really woke up. I look at my hands and see incredible detail of my hands. I notice all the lines and ridges and pores. I see the wedding ring on my left hand. Then I notice my fingers are all different lengths and some fingers are fanned out into 3 or 4 from one. I keep saying to myself I am dreaming over and over. I still question if I am awake. I roll over from my left side to my back still rubbing my hands. I can hear the pillow as I move. In real life I have a waterproof pillow cover because I drool. The sound is like crinkly plastic. I decide to just get out of bed. If I am awake it will be obvious if I am dreaming then awesome. Nothing to lose. I start to get out of bed but my legs feel bound in some rubber sheeting and I can't move. Ah I AM dreaming. I do a nose plug and blow through. The sensation is so odd that I go ahead and do it twice more for good measure. I am still confused because I am bound in bed but I never had the usually vibrations. I go ahead and treat it like and OBE. I try to visualize my legs going out of bed but its difficult looking at my hands. I reluctantly close my eyes and now I can do it. As I get up the sheet and blanket sticks to me like some crazy static cling. I notice how the sheets feel rubbery and just sticks to me. I struggle with the for a while. I realize that fighting it only makes it worse. I paused and relaxed. I told it "no" in my mind. Suddenly it all drops off or me and I am free. Now that I am free, I think about how I need to get outside to do the TOTM but for some crazy reason, I guess I thought I was going to forget the dream so far. So, I decide to quickly think back to the beginning of the dream and remember how it started. As soon as I remember the toilet I am jolted awake. I am not sure if it was the thought that woke me up or if it was my son making noise in the bassinet. Perhaps, next time I will just go forward in the dream and not worry so much about what just happened.