ZAD's DJ

Sep 30 2018

(3 dreams, 2 lucids)

pre-star wars interstate/table in front yard, F's car - why are the keys on a table in the front yard? they can be stolen! have to get her car back, getting angry

lucid/semi-lucid star wars dream* (badass)

wbtb (lasted for 3 hours)

lucid with D and 8, and roach antenae then hopping away like a deer, short, got lucid halfway through

space station dream getting a delivery, we were running out, boss says forget about the reeses puffs and then they give us twice the delivery (everyone mad "we could have been getting twice this whole time? we didn't even get any reeses puffs") and guards and cutting ribbon lines (dad, w/ gun or broom) and other stuff (transformed into noir music video at end); remember the black slats on the divider vividly, and the floor; like an arcade! vivid, long

lots of HI and feeling for dream scene, but no successful WILDs
feeling for a white tennis shoe
feeling for a white metal corner with slats on it

*Star Wars dream:
I'm in the office of 9. My best friend (A) and his previous long-time girlfriend (T) are there. There's also another girl from the previous dream who has orange hair (we'll call her O; I had a feeling she might have been a manifestation of my guide). A has a hooked nose unlike in real life, and he's standing next to the bookcase in the far left corner comforting T. O is sitting in a chair looking at me. It's a persecution-style dream, someone is going to eradicate us. I think I had to kill someone in the office, someone was a traitor. I become lucid but decide that instead of pursuing goals I'll let the dream take me wherever it was intending to go. I have a lightsaber and there was someone else there (my dad or F?) who had one, so I offered the group mine thinking that the other person and I could take them with just one lightsaber. They declined and I decided against it anyway, I would need it. So instead I give them a purplish greenish small box of parts to make their own. The dream shifts and I'm in the front yard in the passenger seat of the van. My sister and F are across the street selling pumpkins (as a disguise/to make it seem normal that we're there and that we have nothing to hide). They need to close up so we can go. In the car with me is O, and my dad and possibly mom are near the car. [I say something to someone.] Sister brings me a pumpkin in F's WL purse, it's ripping, I tell them to stop messing around, there's danger. Eventually the scene transitions and the pumpkin stand disappears, it's darker outside, I can tell Sith are coming. I think I told the van to drive away but I can't remember now.

I walk to the curb and it's much darker like a storm's coming, dust blows by me dramatically and I see two white Hutts at the very end of the street. I remember now that I had told them in the van not to fire their blasters unless they had to, because if they did the others would know where they were. For this reason I don't draw my lightsaber yet (it's probably about 6 houses until the end of the street so I have some distance to cross). When I reach about halfway I notice three more Sith, they looked like Tuscan raiders. Unexpectedly one of the Hutts charged me! It was much faster than I expected because instead of slithering towards me it floated/levitated towards me at an alarming rate. It also held its red lightsaber in a fully forward way, arms up and forward at the chest. It was very intimidating. It also had force lightning. By this point, I had succumbed to the dream's validity to the point where I was still lucid in awareness, but it was more like an elevated state of consciousness and control of my own actions, not control of the dream. In any case I didn't think to use dream powers but was limited to the constraints of the universe, so because I had a blue lightsaber, I only had force push, and becuase they had red, they also had force lightning. So essentially we would circle around each other while facing each other, him sending lightning at me and me pushing or lightsabering it away. This was very intense and I was still only facing one of them. Once I had sen that the van was gone, I decided to flee as I couldn't face them all. I think I may have killed one of the Tuscan raiders first? I ran to a kid's bicycle and as I boarded it, one of the raiders had come up behind me on a Star Wars bike. I used the force to lift the bike up and start flying. The raider and I get into a contest of side-swiping and I dismount him. I have to pull up because there's a white fence/gate at the end of my street.

Now the sky had gone from storm-blue with dust in it to full-on apocalypse brown. I was flying past twisted trees and power lines, turning sideways to dodge them. At some point the dream faded.

Most of these dreams came from day residue; the SW part came from listening to an episode of MBMBAM discussing naming a kid Anakin; we recently got a new end table by our front door where we leave our everyday carried items, and it's next to a window with blinds so I recently thought "what if they can see through those?"; the arcade-themed space station was due to seeing a Dave and Busters-themed scene in the show F was watching (I think Once Upon a Time). Anyway the lightsaber fighting was badass, even though it wasn't as conscious as it could have been; but it probably would have been much shorter if I had been fully lucid the whole time, so I'm in part glad that the dream and the threats it posed felt 100% real.

Interesting note: At the end of the SW dream, I was in an FA with the layout of my room being slightly different and although my eyes were closed, I could see a thin strip of light in front of me (in reality, this would have been to the right of me). I sat recalling my dreams and had a brief visualization/WILD attempt within the FA! Then I woke up. For some reason I wrote in my DJ that it's possible I had the SW dream stemming from visualizations during my FA? Interesting but I don't remember about the FA to say for sure now.

Sep 29 2018

Background - i didn't get nearly enough sleep during the week (b/t 5 and 6.5 hours a night) so i haven't had lucids since last sunday and have only been remembering 1-2 dreams a night on avg. so maybe this was sort of an extended REM rebound effect? i didn't sit down to meditate (although at many points i made myself hyper-aware) or visit the bathhouse, but anyway i remembered to do math in most of my lucids, got to talk to my dream guide (or it felt like it), and got my subconscious to play music. p. cool night!

3 NLs - before waking at 5:30 (went to sleep 11:45) (fortunately i wrote all of these down)
* in 9, my parents are talking to "Mr Jeff" in the front porch, talking about walking sticks as "staves", they examine one i found in the forest when we went to the cabin at the beginning of august
* in 8, seeing an older woman out of the apartment who had just helped F and I with something or was maybe just visiting. she has the body of a younger person but has surface-level wrinkles, almost like they're a painted-on texture with no depth (they're white) and I think she even had black hair. but her skin also looks quite dry. she reminded me of one of my neighbors who walks two dogs
* in 512 (grandpa's house) with F and my dad. F and I are sitting at the dining table across from each other, dad is to the right. i have tea and she has water, my dad asks for some of my soft drink because there's some rule that anytime i have soft drinks he gets a portion (he used to do this IRL too ;_ but i tell him i'm drinking tea and that i don't (or barely) drink soft drinks anymore, he points out a detailed list of times i've had soft drinks over the last year. i'm eating a wrap and unexpectedly i see a splotch of guacamole getting pushed out of the top like a tube of toothpaste, i lick it so it doesn't fall and i can vividly remember the taste - it was spot-on. really good guac!

LD 1 - WILD after WBTB - after lots of HI coming close to successful WILD, finally it's sort of like an FA, in bed, can see light coming through curtain, sit up and move curtain (feel body shift into dream body). It's light out, I look around, look at body and try to transform, wake up. go back to sleep pretty quickly after that

LD chain 2 - WILD, DEILDs, and DILDs - too many so I'll only write summaries - didn't write all of these down because after finally waking from the chain I just dove right in to the second chain
* walking outside in area between 9 and neighbor's house, asked subconscious for music to play, got some symphonic. it came and went, but as it faded I would conduct it with my hands and it would get louder. after a bit the music changed to a medium tempo pop instrumental and I conducted it as well. I was focusing on the sight/sound/touch sensations involving the wood fence, white lattice, the foliage, grass, swingset, etc. very vivid
* converted FA in 8 bedroom, summoning big cuddly dogs (F's grandma has a big dog so whenever we go over there like we did yesterday, I cuddle with it); in the dream they're very warm, i'm starting to feel temperature more in dreams whereas before with touch i would only feel pressure; one of my goals is to actually feel the bones inside my hands and the muscle contractions
* something with F in 9, can't remember details now...
* morning daylight scene, approach white service van and enter, there's a moldy (not really decomposed but with a green patina almost?) girl in the back sort of under the carpet (skin sort of the texture of the under-carpet material in floor boards) I try to move her head and her fully black eyes open, I kiss her (or do CPR?) and every time I do she blows air at me, weird weird weird wtf
* there were a lot more (i'm getting vague impressions of more FAs and maybe one more outdoor one), they're just lost on me -- i'm giving it time and hopefully i'll catch a few more during the day

LD chain 3 - WILD, DEILDs, and DILDs - too many so I'll only write summaries - had these after a brief wakeup and pee
* met dream guide as pudgy girl (reminds me of an outgoing version of F's little cousin), talked to her about my thoughts and whether she was real. I didn't ask my subconscious for the dream guide, I just saw her and knew -- i asked "are you my DG?" and she said yes, we held hands and walked through a crowded mall and talked for a bit.
* fight/murder in crack, blame - there are two men and a woman, the man and woman are fighting (they're married?) on a second-story floor with long cracks perpindicular to the hallway, so that you can see through to the first story (long fall); the second man walks up and says something to the first man that makes him jump through the crack. the woman is distraught but turns to the second man (her lover?) for comfort. at first i'm a semi-lucid observer but after this i summon my dream guide and he shows up in a doorway behind me as a tall built older man, feel his sides (like obliques) through shirt and they're warm. he says it's the only way he could get to me (like KPAX sort of - why is a soap bubble round) (when I first see him I saw other girls who looked similar but definitely different to the girl DG from before, their eyes were different)
* red curtain in parent's bedroom and transition scene - cool technique where I was looking in a mirror and I summoned a huge red curtain and threw it sort of over and around me and wrapped myself in its suspended self to transition to the next dream, however the next dream was somehow "too small" and so it faded quickly as I couldn't get a grasp on it
* lost a lot of these too... will keep trying to recall

as i lay in bed trying to recall and recount these dreams, i'm perfectly still, when i finally do try to move there's heavy resistence and then a snap! and i awaken, it turns out i had been in a detailed FA the whole time, as a result I lost some of the lucids. before waking I could recall 13 lucids total. not too bummed though as I'm sure I'll have a lot tomorrow night too!

Rogan couch, cop n girl oth couch consoling, big dark office w fireplace, someone died or missing

Hulu/animated 9 backyard, girl "going on for 4 years you would think I'm crazy" little poorly drawn show about flamingo and other bird

Sep 27 2018

[F] Odonis - method (pencil), water?, visitation, name, shallow handshake/deep hug. Daylight, Mediterranean island southern coast (diff locations, and pencil happens indoors)

[D] Howl's Moving Castle w F, she's my boss somehow, we have something else we're focusing on but attn keeps returning to white square/rectangular building, after a couple of times looking at it realize the orangish cone/airwick shaped chimneyes lining the top in layers are telescoping and undulating, this is significant. Daylight, see it across open field

[F] Joke dream about kid warming up glass bowl of water and "ball of condos", parents are watching, amused, and crack jokes, kid embarassed, shift to pokemon evolution chart (one looks like a mon one is a regular object) (orange is the catalyst)

Sep 26 2018

[D] I'm on a bed in early morning daylight. F is there and urges me to leave the bed and go to a courtyard/street. It reminds me of 6 courtyard mixed with the street I drive to work everyday. The dream transitions and I'm in 9 on the couch. To the left on the treadmill is one of my cousins. He's laughing. Suddenly he's in the hallway and has a large twisted plastic lattice tucked somehow into his briefs (he's also wearing a t-shirt and socks).

Later I'm in a bathroom with F who's trying to get something from the medicine cabinet. We're switching apartments or houses this day. The hair on my legs is 20 times longer and hangs off at the sides like a wavy beard. My dream self thinks/makes a comment about being like a Yak but F is busy and doesn't respond. In retrospect I looked like a satyr. I'm worrying about work, something related to me being adopted and I say the wrong thing.

I'm in a sundown-lit street with F, F is mad at me for something.

I'm drunk, running down a street along the sidewalk on the left side. I almost run into several poles and fences. There are people at several houses/front lawns which are restaurants, some people are leaning back in their chairs and heads are over the fence. I arrive at F's grandma's house. She and a lot of people my age and younger are sitting around tables under a pop up tent in her driveway. I see her and she looks mad at me, I try to appease her by offering to make some pink lemonade (there's a huge pink lemonade canister, probably a foot and a half in diameter and a foot tall, which is mostly empty and somewhat crusty [like how it gets when the powder has been opened and closed so many times and exposed to moisture for too long]). She refuses my offer and refuses to speak to me. Eventually I sit down and notice the cousin from before is on the other side of the table. Finally F's grandma confronts me about the work/adoption issue from before, and says "I thought you were moving in". I try to explain but it all comes out wrong. I understand that my cousin is jealous of my living situation/work because he lives here with F's grandma.



This was all one long dream btw, very vivid. The running dream was interesting -- in these dreams my awareness is usually activated.

Sep 25 2018

[D] In house with D and F's Grandma's dog (GD). GD is running around in the back yard and living room with a carrot, balanced precariously on a fence or string or hammock. D is avoiding her. GD is simultaneously a dog and a full-grown savage (think raised by wolves) naked man with long black matted hair. We (F and I?) have a conversation about taking a picture of him to share so he can be returned to his proper owner (this makes my dream self ponder what should fall under the responsibility of pet adopters).

[F] Long house, dark outside, I'm putting something up on my walls. Papers, plans, something? There's discussion/controversy over it.

[D] I'm with rory from gilmore girls, I'm her mom (or the other way around)? We're looking at boarding schools, transition to scene with all blond girls changing, one blond girl turns around and looks at us with a scowl, distinct image of this. Maybe I had changed back into a guy. I think rory's mom was now separate from me as an entity. With F now in a room full of monogrammed purses, like a giant walk in closet. I find several wthat are close to her initials or almost have all of them, there were a few humorous ones I found myself starting to question. If I had stayed in the dream longer I would have become lucid, at this point my awareness was spiking.



I believe I had 2 or 3 more but I can't find any trace of them in my memory palace. Will visit it during the day, and I think I'll sweep it out and start over clean with today's dreams. I think each time I wake up, I need to somehow activate my memory with an exercise so that placing my dreams in the memory palace will be more effective.

Sep 23 2018

Four nights lucid in a row! PB!

[D] FA where I'm in bed, feeling my breath intensely. I can see two spheres of breath rotating and flowing throughout themselves, as if each of them is tearing itself inside out. The spheres are located a few inches in front of my face and are about 5 inches in diameter each. They're arranged one atop the other forming a sort of figure 8. I shift to seeing this in third person from the left side. Maybe they're feeding into each other? But I see and feel their movement aligned with my even, deep breaths.

[?] Wrote something in my DJ but can only vaguely make out the words "tonight", "Jesus", and "fool". Awoke 5:30am.

[L] In 9. The dream starts in my bedroom. My bunk is high, almost shoulder level (like one of my old dorm rooms). There are some assorted items laid out on the bed. It's dark outside. I'm trying to find something. The dream shifts to the front yard briefly, then to the kitchen. I need to make F a BLT without lettuce or tomato, on a long sourdough slice. For some reason I'm trying to find a saucepan (maybe to cook the bacon?) but the only one I can find is submerged in water in a white bowl next to the sink. The pan has a thin coating of spaghetti sauce on it. Around this point I become lucid, or rather reach the threshold of awareness, but decide not to do anything about it and to observe instead. I don't consciously control anything, from dream body to dream logic. I put down the slices of toast in the toaster, and they seem too long but somehow change dimensions to fit. At first the slices are vertical as expected, but after looking away and back, they are arranged horizontally at the bottom of the toaster. I'm talking to F this whole time. Finally I tell her "I'm lucid". She doesn't really react. I decide to do something improvised, a coordinated reality check. I hold out my palm and either through speech/nonverbal command or through expectation, I have her stick her finger through my palm. It worked! However now I couldn't really see her, and could see through her. She was transparent and I could clearly read some text behind her that took the form of her body. The dream shifted quickly and I was outside the kitchen looking in, and the lights were off. I said aloud "lights on!" and some dim lights came on but not all. The dream started to fade. I remembered to do math but lost the dream before I could. When I awoke I tried to DEILD, however I could only see the emerging scene if I strained my eyes to the bottom-right corner; there were maybe 5 or 6 scenes that emerged. When I opened my eyes it was around 6:40.

[F] I find myself outside a sliding glass door with a family inside. They let me in, they're part of a resistance and they're hiding me from someone; before this I was in a ditch. This was in-depth but unfortunately my pen ran out of ink.

[D] I was in a church library. There were bookcases that slid apart, and I was shoved inside. Inside it was dark and there were others. We could see through the cracks of light left by the books. After several implied weeks of pleading my case that we weren't able to read the books in the dark, those imprisoning us finally gave us some better quarters. It was some sort of speakeasy establishment, and our quality of life went up (we had alcohol and other entertainment) but now some of the black prisoners were slaves/barmaids.

Sep 24 2018

I had at least four dreams but can only remember two. I'm trying to utilize a memory palace for dream recall when I don't have a physical DJ next to my bed, but it's not always working (although it does help a bit).

[D] I'm in the backyard of 9, in full knight's armor. I'm carrying a metal jug of gasoline or urine. It's daytime outside and I'm splashing this mystery liquid all over the lawn; I get some on my neighbor's fence.

[D] After a longish dream, I find myself sleeping 9's garage. There are several pillows, and one of them is fancy but makes no sense (day residue from a stupid sweater one of the Property Brothers was wearing). It's made by George (the Walmart brand). It was very visually vivid (and mentally/perceptually clear) at this point, and I think if I didn't get involved with the dream drama I could've easily become lucid. I was in a sling chair but now I'm in some sort of giant furniture bucket looking at a late 90's desktop and monitor. My dad comes in and talks to me for a bit. I decide to go inside and sleep on the couch (worried about bugs). When I go to shut down my computer though, my C drive disappears! I think my hard drive somehow unmounted itself (in the dream I thought somehow it got disconnected/shaken loose). It's a weird mix of XP and Vista and 7 and when I open the start menu I can't search for anything in the search bar. I start freaking out about my computer, eventually I wake up.

Sep 22 2018

(from phone and in reverse order, will start doing proper entries again one day)

D - HMT - night, distinct steps - slavery/oppression situation - an email gets leaked and a kill order is sent (room, test?)

Lucid! 6.44, in crowded mall, surge of awareness, put hand on DCs like she was pregnant, become lucid! LOTS of DCs. most smiling and laughing directly at me, although i don't interpret it as humiliation, but something more like happiness/being proud of me). say aloud, "subconscious, make all of my dreams automatically lucid", start losing the lucid and remember to math but accidentaly count instead, by the time i add it's too late, awake (stiff bed)

F - before - woman in closet tied up w phone alarm going off, someone almost finds but doesn't, she will die in there

D - long magenta house, yelling hardcore at mom, i want to leave. shame, guilt, anger. dad involved (their fight), oven/meal

F - megaphone/board game, F screaming, title of game - screaming (at police officers?)

F - school before

Sep 21 2018

on the phone again

8 light downstairs intruder dream/fa (more detail later maybe)
problems remembering other nls through night
In 9, living room couch, sth about stalking (m & f) kpop stars, some kind of weird light texhnology
Become lucid walking to dark hallway/foyer! look at hands, etc, but loud vacuum left on in office, examine then ignore. remembered to do math! only +, 2 up to abt 23, felt confident, grabbed front door (light coming thru) but before fully opening shut and thought about where i wanted to teleport (some part of my mind still doubted it would work bc of the light). i opened the door (v realistic) but it was just the front yard/street. tried to spin teleport, couldn't. walked towards sidewalk, started getting fuzzy, dropped to knees around curb and felt concrete while doing a little math again, worked! got up walked along sidewalk on other side of street a bit and tried to transform my body (i wanted to grow 4 arms, didn't). I had a plaid pattern (blue/white) button down shirt on. after both of these (drop to knees, transform) the scenery/sidewalk path changed a bit. at this point i was
coming up on a large glass souse with i believe a tin roof, shape was a mix between office bldg, church, and warehouse. i could see no furniture inside, and it was dark so i decided not to go in (also think there could have been a rowdy kid playing on my side of the street). i kept walking and remembered my goal to meditate. i passed under a tall pine and sat/lay back on the sidewalk doing a little math and taking in my senses (sight and touch, sound was negligible). to my left on grass were amazing curling fern-like leaves that were covered in dew (they were coming from the grass, like a different type of grassgrowing through). i unfurled some of the leaves and the dew felt nice (not cold, just damp). I decided to look up at the sky - vision became immediately blurry until i stabilized some more. sky was beautiful, and as i had been doing the whole time, i just reflected on how awesome it was that this was a dream and i was conscious in it! after maybe 10 more seconds i awoke. deild attempt but no dice

I wrote all this beforehand last night, interestingly:

Focus:
Ch, F are triggers. DCs tell me I'm dreaming Do math, then spin teleport (clearly)!

New goal:
Grow 4 arms (separate out)

Sep 20 2018
(from phone again)
awoke 330, no dreams (not a trace)

[D]nl in hallway then classroom, trying to be sneaky w F, middle school, they have a sub or "numbers lady" helping them, I'm in a desk (shame - naked?), F finds the biology or nursing book, but it's hardbound landscape like a steno book and the papers are warped and barely readable, I'm upset as I need the book, try to show F but now all pages are fine, can't find a warped one (vivid)

[SL]felt like a visualization/hh at first, but was a dream. in a larger classroom (feels like biology, maybe + lab), clear sight of 2 doors, see dcs walking by doorway and some entering, some of them have ? for faces, become semi-lucid (aware that i can control my surroundings, but not the idea of "dream")? start copying one dc using doorway expectation, a blond plain-faced girl with a loose pony tail. i copy her several times passing through the doorway, some going in some walking on, i look at the other students and try to decide how to control them when one of my copies sits next to me, i get kind of nervous and after a second i wake up

[L]I'm in bed and I feel like my dog is going to walk on my face (i feel a presence approaching) but i hear the door swinging on the hinges like it's already open and i realize its F. she says "it's me, june" and is being silly. i realize I'm dreaming but i can't open my dream eyes, so i start separating my dream body from what i can now feel is my real sleeping body (or my dreaming physical body, not sure if it was a copy because they were in same position), i separate mostly and tell her to come with me (still can't see except checkerboard hh, but can hear and feel surroundings as i move) i phase thru the wall next to the bed and fall back, flying to catch my fall, hh gets lighter, i float back up and ask "june" to join me again and i wake up. try to hold on to hh but dog wakes me up. whole thing was nonvisual (not counting the hh-like imagery)

Sep 19 2018

[D] A new member of a BBS/forum commits suicide and posts graphic pictures, leaving clues behind. Some users of the BBS call it a hoax, others accept that it's real but are still indifferent. His name is something like OPMQLN (six letters, unsure about the first two only).
[F] Walking down a city street at night. There's an interstate hi-rise above us (I'm walking with one to five other people). It's dark but there's a sort of faded golden glowing property around everything. There was either snow or rain on the ground, and in the sky, but not touching us. Maybe I was with two people and we passed six people? Overall a feeling of good cheer.
[D] I'm in a room similar to a cabin I once stayed at with F. It has a queen bed and is connected to a long living room which leads to a kitchen. I'm working (at my old restaurant possibly) and my (fictional restaurant) coworker drops a glass of spaghetti. The glass had the noodles, meat, and sauce combined already. When the jar shatters there's a ballistics-like scene left over. It reminds me of the strings Dexter puts up for blood spatter analysis. My coworker needs to clean it up and the vibe is that I should help but I refuse because he made the mess. A speck of sauce made it all the way into the first room, and I wipe it off with my finger. I'm bringing two hardcover books (one is light blue) to place on a bookshelf in the original room.
[D] A long, three-stage epic about an apocalypse. The first is live-action and sort of reminds me of Princess Mononoke, it takes place in a dark forest and tells the story of the mother and child; at parts the visuals are clay stop-motion. The second part has visuals similar to Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines (very specific to how the walk cycle animations look in this game, and the general quality). The mother and child are at the ranch home, but on this rainy night an evil woman creature steals the prize horse. The father mounts an evil beast and chases after her. He's weilding a black buster sword. From a distance, she casts some sort charm/weaken/poison spell on him and he (me) starts seeing bats with different visual effects (invert colors, seeing auras, blur, etc.). He dies. The child grows up a bit and one night rides out to the edge of the field, and she reaches a resort hotel where she speaks over a fence to a woman near the swimming pool. In the third part, the child is grown, and the town around her is separated into different Animal-Crossing-like houses. They each represent someone in the town who's died (one of them representing her father) and they look like russian dolls. Then they all simultaneously turn around and just look like houses (they're lined up in a grid). Their brick tiles/shingles on the right side of each house shift slowly up in a symbolic gesture.
[F] I'm in my old church on the altar.
[D] I'm a youngish man with a wife and kid(s), I've just managed to stop the nuclear apocalypse somehow. There were three huge glowing green worms/dragons/snakes (in some scenes they remind me of Mass-produced Evas), and now they're banished or blacked out from our world. Scene transition to me shooting a rocket launcher, but it just puffs. Scene transition to an overview of the land in black, and the three green snakes circling around it, but being unable to enter (there is a circle that they can go behind and be blacked out, but they can't affect anything (I think in-dream -- maybe they can within the blackout circle). Scene shift to a sliding glass window and I see my daughter outside. I almost get lucid and have the opportunity to, but for some reason don't. I'm really drawn in by my (fictional) daughter and rush outside to pick her up. It's a really heartwarming moment. Scene shifts and it's a third person view and my fictional family and I get into a bus. I'm narrating like it's the end of movie and I just did something badass. I remember the line "I make $50,000." We head out of the driveway and are imediately crashed into by a firetruck. My family is fine but I'm injured, the fire department (and chief) are very resentful at me for some reason. Maybe in the way that I saved the world I somehow stepped on their toes. They rummage through our stuff in the bus.
[D] I'm going through a house which feels more like a gift shop. In the entrance there are some people talking, the first time through they feel off but the second time I realize they're platic with speakers and they say the same bit each time. There are glass display cases with objects inside, possibly this is a museum for one of the apocalypses in my former dreams. I pass through a (possibly beaded) doorway on the right if you're coming in (there's a counter or column or something in the middle of the room that you have to walk around). The black guy from Fear the Walking Dead (don't his name as I'm only passively watching this show while F watches it) is leaning at a bar counter and I pass him. Off to the right is a door which I don't think twice about the first time through. The second time through, I go in and there's something secret and important there, like it's an exit into another place (possibly the cabin in my early dream?). There's a valuable item in a chest which I see, can't remember what it was now.

Sep 18 2018
(from phone, apologize for quality)
Color coded red, but lost. Annoying bc I really knew it. Need a better way, because I reinforced throughout the night and had it memorized, then lost 100% on waking
Dim room daylight square, person on bed - needs needle in foot, diff sizes available, I argue for smaller F says just use the big one! But point is flat, not sharp! Ask pt and they say bigger one! Have to swap/refill the compartments which have screw caps like soap sponge, the smaller needs a push piece, like in a click pen, I go off to find cups to do the swap cleanly
Clone troopers n beheading (starts as pixelated wii homebrew, then realistic) real uggos (SoMordor orcs) but good swordfights, blocks sort of cancelled out each other, I wasn't lucid, but was using will/intent/control to survive, some real big ones activated before end
School, road, early mornish, parking lot (important, not sure why, maybe had to do w foot)
Long dark hallway, I took drugs (ingested something, no smoking), halloween party, I'm gonna kill, dad, using umbrella to hide, in dark bedroom I'm forced by invisible forces, not in control of movements, (incubated? was thinking about doing drugs inside a dream last night)
College, blind guy, dad, looking for printer or scanner, lights are off but BG memorized rooms and lights come on, he directs us
BG inside lab w others, needs poster - long group discussion abt. honors program, girls knew L from HS who said it was serious but I told them it was nonsense
King of the hill carnival, guys in corner trying me (bobby) and sister, saying we met before long ago, etc. weird simultaneous nighttime and daytime lighting, there were no clear external lights, sun or artificial

Sep 17 2018

I color-coded again, but somehow still went out of order. Why is the order of ROY G BIV so hard for my just-awoken mind to remember?

[F1] Red - I was in an open wooded area with about 6 others (family/friends), and we were being threatened. Possibly at gunpoint? The dream was long, vivid, and dramatic, but I don't remember much now.
[D1] Yellow - I had a new boss, who looked like a soccer mom/high-powered woman from an episode of Undercover Boss I recently saw. She had serious botox face and bad red lipstick. We became close and trusted each other with secrets. In the office (dark interior, fading afternoon sun coming through huge windows, on a stairwell near a door to an auditorium) I see she's looking at her phone with a night-vision video playing, I understand it to be about my current manager (Y). Y is in the wrong. I ask for details but new boss can't share them. Next we're in a minivan riding down my old street. It's dark, and we drive up to my childhood home, but my dad has left a ~10x5 foot flatscreen TV on a box in the middle of the driveway.
[D2] Orange - I'm in my childhood home with my new boss and family/friends for a barbeque/get-together. It's morning or overcast afternoon, and it has just rained/is about to rain again. I talk with my boss & family for a while and then I understand that my grandpa is coming in (he was dropped off in the backyard?). I go to help him in. I pass a bouncy castle in the back-left corner of the yard where a tree is with kids inside. It's raining and I'm wondering if they'll be okay in there. I hop around, dodging deep muddy ruts and footprints in the yard. Finally I get to my grandpa and help him inside, and I notice he didn't bring any drinks (he always brings soft drinks to social gatherings). When we get to the patio, I look in an oversized ice chest and there aren't any drinks there either. Suddenly the rain intensifies and I warn my dad because the grill is flaming and isn't under the patio.
[F2] Green - This is a strange sequence of events and I'm not sure which came first. In Scene A, I'm downstairs in my WL living room which is brightly lit for a while with others, then the scene transitions and I'm in bed with the side-table lamp on, and there are three servants in the bed next to me. I clap our WL copper cooking tongs together and the servants take a strange formation. In Scene B, I'm in bed in the dark, and I have a close memory of being downstairs, so I focus on the difference between the location of my body in bed (which I can barely feel) and the location of my body downstairs in memory. I try to WILD and almost succeed, unsure if I did. There are three possibilities and I can't remember which is the actual case.
Scenario 1: Scene A came before Scene B, and I was trying to DEILD and failed.
Scenario 2: Scene B came before Scene A, and I successfully WILDed.
Scenario 3: Scene B was an FA, because its memory has a dream-like quality.

In any case these were pretty vivid. I just wish I got more sleep

Sep 16 2018

Pre-WBTB:
[D1] I'm in a blue version of my childhood living room with F. She brings me a plastic rectangular package of writing utensils, and I tear it open and start looking at the different items (big fat sharpie, pencils, pens, an eyebrow brush). She looks mad at me for some reason. While I try to figure it out I fold a piece of paper in half along the middle. It's regular printer paper with one side watercolored blue, but not warped or anything. I keep prodding her as to why she's mad at me and she gives me the silent treatment, so I try to put back together the plastic box, but I can't fit all of the writing utensils back in. She's drawing a diagram of an isometric house, and I find out that she has a laminated piece of paper with different house diagrams on it that she wanted me to draw with her. It's blue and I think it might be the same one I folded, just machine-printed and laminated now. She angrily marks into the laminated paper with a pencil, but it barely shows up. I look at some of the different patterns, and while they look like they should be evenly isometric or orthographic, they're significantly skewed in multiple places. This makes me more aware of the dream state.
[L1] The scene shifts and I'm on the other side of the room, which is now incandescent. F and I are now in chairs by the fireplace, and the room is decorated for Christmas. I ask her "Are you still mad at me from the last dream?" Asking this question either triggers or strengthens my lucidity. She replies no but is still a little standoffish. I start literally pulling her leg, lengthening and transforming it willfully to about six or seven feet long, and bendy. Suddenly she switches places with me, and I'm now on the floor near the piano. I nonverbally command "Show me a clear view of F's face" and the control of my vision is taken over. It zooms and pans mechanically over to her. My vision is clearer now, but I can sort of see black bars at the top and bottom of my vision. She looks stoic or angry, but is facing directly towards me (her face is a little different than IWL). I'm pretty impressed by the effectiveness of the "show me" command, so I try again: "Show me the most beautiful thing I can imagine". The camera pans over to the picture frames against the piano wall and I think "Oh no, not this Freudian shit". Then the cameras react to me and point towards the ceiling, at a mobile that's very Christmasy, with a twisted wreath and a stuffed simplistic angel in the middle.
[D2] I'm in bed with F in an unfamiliar, dark blue place. She's trying to paste some text (a pop-up overlaid my vision). So I edit out the "http:/" and some other stuff and put into google (again via overlay) and I realize that it's the name of a reddit user? I say "oh I recognize this" but then I think maybe she'll be mad if she knows I know(?). After this she looks at me with a serious face and tells me that she's going to donate blood to A.L. (can't remember full name). When she says this, in the dream I remember an earlier NL (pre-pre-WBTB) but I don't write it down upon awakening. (4:50am)
[WBTB]
[L2.1] I'm NL in an open field, the sky is a faded blue and the earth all around me is dead and cracking. I think there's a treeline a couple of miles off in front of me and farther off to my far right. I see a huge explosion in the sky in front of me, it's bright blue in tint but not too intense to look at. I look off to the far right and see more of these, which are already shaping into crosses. The crosses are of varying sizes. I look back in front of me and the explosion has formed into a single, giant cross, with a couple of circles behind it. I realize I'm dreaming and immediately I think "I need to teleport to the bathhouse!". Because of this, my mind is preoccupied while I'm looking at my hands trying to stabilize the dream. The ground looks very clear, the detail is amazing on the cracks. But the dream feels paper-thin, and I start spinning prematurely thinking "bathhouse", and I wake up.
[L2.2] I'm in bed with F and almost immediately become lucid. Details ommitted but I tried to exert nonverbal dream control over her, and it almost worked, but the idea/expectation of her in my mind is too strong-willed and resisted me.
[L2.3] I'm a woman in a combination campsite/hotel, and again I'm almost immediately lucid. I'm situated all the way at the end of the row of rooms, and I see an older foreign-looking man with a crumpled brown leaf on his nose. He sort of reminds me of Eggman in retrospect, but friendlier in a way. I approach him because I either need something or was just looking for a DC. He's sort of ignoring me and my passage to him is blocked by a wall, so I look away and imagine a small gate. It appears and I go through. Scene shift and we're in his kitchen, he's reaching for the honey or sugar for some tea and I reach for it too. For some reason this is a grave offense, and I feel I should leave, but he forgives me. Scene shift and I'm in a gift shop, and there is a tribal african woman with body paint. Scene shift and I'm outside with the old man, and I pass by a tree with small blue scorpion creatures on its leaves. I then see down the road, a huge version of the scorpion creatures coming towards us and the cabins! I start running, but can't find my room (the layout is different now, with individual cabins). There's a man behind me so I let him pass and follow him to a small bunker. We drop in, and I feel unwelcome. One of the men has a strange-looking gun, and I make some military comment which he doesn't take kindly to. I'm still lucid so I actually offer to become another DC lol. The whole scene reminded me of FMJ for some reason. There's a fridge in the back of the bunker behind a sort of divide/cage. I'm handed some things to put in the fridge; one of them looks like ice cubes, and one of them looks like cheese or butter. I keep putting them in the wrong one, and the guys will just tell me "Fridge. Fridge. Freezer. Freezer". I keep insisting that the ice cubes need to go in the freezer but finally I look back down and they're diced carrots.
[L2.n] Within this dream chain I had another one in my apartment, and then an uncaught FA where I was DJing in bed.
[WBTB2]I woke again and had another lucid chain of (I believe) 3 different ones, but I couldn't find a pen so I didn't write them down, and got comfortable and forgot all about them!
[F1] Extremely long NL. It was cinematic, and was a sort of mix between Wreck it Ralph and a royal wedding, plus maybe Treasure Planet? It was a dark city adventure where we had to save the city from an evil corporation, some sort of power plant that you can see from anywhere which has a huge orange skullface on its building. I vividly remember the end, but the beginning and middle are fuzzy with a few distinct impressions. I think it's possible that the WiR dream and the RW dream were separate at first, but merged towards the end. Towards the end, we (the posse) are turning the corner on a cyberpunky road where all of the lights have gone out (we've shut down a few power plants already). But now as we round the corner we can see the big orange skull and we're ready for business. We drive up on the dark interstate hi-rise-ish road and approach a crowd of shadow people with yellow eyes. I throw a "shovel knight" at them, which is a rolling ball that slashes the people and turns the shadow people into normal people. The street/city setup reminds me a bit of early Duke Nukem. We round the corner and see a ship, which we untie and board. We end up walking into a sidedoor to the wedding.

Spoiler for unexpected romance:

I've been competing with this guy who looks like John from Sherlock, who is imposing, in the RW dream the whole time. We are relatively young, and there are some young girls that we are supposed to walk down the aisle during the wedding. However I (the persona I'm assuming in the dream) has feelings that have been developing for the whole dream, for the one that Sherlock John is supposed to walk down the aisle. Someone appears at the white door, and I open it, and there she is, in a beautiful white and gold dress; she looks surprised that I opened the door, I'm also in a white tux/commander's outfit with gold trim. She has black hair and pale skin, and a very straight face, which looks sheepish, somewhat sickly, but truly beautiful in a way I can't describe. I kiss her gently with closed lips. She's shocked but when I offer my hand she takes it. She's holding a paper and I'm holding a sketchbook (maybe I'm the wedding sketch artist? Who knows) and I take her paper and put it with mine. We hold hands and walk, having our pictures taken (turns weirdly digital for a second). Then I'm dancing with her and she's embarassed, like a deer in headlights, so I hold her.

Totally unexpected but interesting and enjoyable dream; can't figure out what kind of day-residue or thoughts led to this.



*Note: Counting L2.* as one dream together as they were a mostly uninterrupted chain.
**Note: I think I WILDed (or at least DEILDed) for some of the entries in L2; I distinctly remember that feeling of "crossing over" and how it sort of rushes through you and throws you off-balance. Very cool.

Sep 15 2018

First a summary of the pre-WBTB NLs:
It's morning on a sunny hilltop, just outside the twon, blue skies. (fragment)
I'm in a version of my childhood home which is an apartment or hotel, 4ish stories up. I'm with my fiancee.

Spoiler for lewdness:

Across the open space in another room I see three girls in lingerie getting down and dirty. I have an understanding that the intimacy is not genuine and is for show. I point them out to my fiancee and we watch.

The lighting/mood was incandescent (I seem to have incandescent dreams and fluorescent ones, and there's a clear distinction of feeling between the two). There was another longer segment before this. (dream)
I'm talking to Adam and Tom (two random DCs). It's a public place, maybe a grocery store in a small town or a town hall (this is a reach) and they're arguing about the fidelity of Adam's wife, who used to be Tom's wife. (fragment)
I'm watching Jack Nicholson, Pheobe from Friends, and some other celebrities corroborate their story in a fluorescent courtroom. (fragment)
FA where I'm writing detailed notes in my DJ, even drawing pictures (I'm an amazing artist in dreams). Very convincing and thorough. (dream)
Pen went out and I didn't write hard enough to leave marks, so I lost some. But one mentions noises, my fiancee, and my dog. It makes me think it was another intruder FA or variation of it (my dog barked a lot last night so I was afraid of having one), but I always remember those, so it wasn't that.

Wake 5am. Fiancee (I'll call her F from now on) has work at 5:30 so I don't try to fall back asleep and just half-meditate while reflecting on dreams. Get up with her and walk my dog (calling him D from now on) and look at the stars, getting a strong feeling that I'll become lucid. I end up going back to bed at 6:30 or 6:40, I wear a sleep mask because there's some light entering into the room now. D's being loud and shaking the bed with his scratching so I threaten to kick him out. I end up trying something strange, I put two of the pillows over the sides of my face and my ears to block out noise, and I sort of side-hug them like the ten commandments.

As I'm falling asleep, I have the tranpsarent eyelids effect a couple of times. The first time, I can see D, and I try to latch on to the visuals as a dream, but they pop out of existance. I have this with a few other visuals: a long stalk of grass or leaves, and a pillow or blanket with a tag and words I could clearly read ("english", "c.o.t.r."). A couple of times I feel like I'm going to WILD. I fall asleep and fully wake at 7:24am.

This time I turn on my side but still use the pillow similar to how I did before. I go back to sleep. I wake up around 8:30, although I'm barely awake; I use this time to try and WILD as my body's still in REM atonia. I finally can fully focus on an image/scene, and at some point everything blacks out and I "pop" into the scene! It full materializes around me! I have awareness of my waking body and the fact that I was awake less than a second ago. I was surprised at the blackout before it happened though, I always assumed (and when I've had DEILDs I've experienced) that you go directly from waking to the dream with no visual discontinuity. Anyway, I'm in a tan carpeted room with white walls and a staircase. The stairs are the same as in my WL apartment, tannish carpet and white rails; however the room they open up into is bigger. I'm at the bottom of the staircase sitting on one of the stairs, looking through the rails. I am sort of a point of perception rather than a body; I try to spin but can't use my body to do it, so I think "bathhouse" and will myself to spin. It works! My perception point starts spinning, but I don't go anywhere or transition to another scene, the visuals just intensify. I look closely at the stairs and the room around me, the light coming in from the kitchen window, the layout of furniture in the living room. Suddenly I wake up. (Lucid)

After this, I decided to keep trying to WILD. I kept on the edge of sleep and let myself fall into visuals another time! This time, I went directly into the dream scene with no blackout (it felt more like a DEILD). I find myself in a living room type area, near a sliding glass door. I put my finger through my thumb to stabilize it works with a little resistance. I pick up a small box or something similar and throw it through the glass, which doesn't loudly shatter but sort of just breaks and disappears. I go through the opening and it's a tight fit because the balcony railing is right against where the sliding glass door was, and it's high. I climb up and get my torso over it, then I jump from the balcony to a tree (the trunk looks like a palm but it's twisted). As I jump down onto it, I experience some sort of anti-gravity or limited gravity, which is cool. I land on the tree and grasp the trunk. At first it had branches, but when I look around and notice they're in my way, they disappear and it's all trunk. The trunk is kind of twisted. I decide to thoroughly experience the texture of the tree, so I rub my hands over it, bite it, lick it (it tasted sort of sweet with a bitter aftertaste and rough texture). Some seriously weird stuff omitted.

This dream starts a chain of DEILDs and DILDs that last a while*. In the first, I'm in bed with F. I look at my hands and become lucid. After a bit I get up and ask her to come with me but she's gone. I go to the dark hallway and turn into a bathroom with the light on (sort of reminded me of my best friend from childhood's bathroom). I feel around in the cabinet expecting a few things and although I hit a wall, I say "Oh right, wasn't there a secret compartment there?" and that part of the cabinet pivots away and I find the object I was looking for! Was pretty cool, I did this with some drawers too. I read some vivid words that I don't remember (some tags on towels, labels on some circular plastic packaging). I believe I walked down the hallway too but then it ended.

Again I found myself in a dark room, fingerpalmed, walked over to a table and grabbed a box, then threw it through a sliding glass door. The glass didn't break, so I walked up to it and punched it. I walk outside and it's night in a cyberpunkish or maybe Coruscant-like city. As I walk out onto a large circular balcony, I see that to my right there are three guys leaving theirs as well. I think to myself "I should lock up because they'll break into my apartment", but then I remember that a) it's a dream, and b) I punched through the sliding glass door. I realize that one of the guys is B, a coworker. The two guys with B are wearing old-time diving masks and carrying spears. He's wearing some sort of Rita Repulsa outfit with the big shoulders, but mostly black. I end up with a large stick (a branch from the tree before?) with a thin metal spearhead sticking out the top of it. Then another DILD which again I'll omit.

Woke again, didn't record time but I think around 9:30 or 9:45. Went back to bed and had an FA where my grandpa came up the stairs into my room and handed me something he said was a CD (I was sleeping naked so he didn't want to intrude). The package wasn't a CD though, it was a tight grouping of multicolored beads with a small gamecube-sized disk deep inside of it that I couldn't get to. (fragment) Had a lot of other NLs and I think a few more LDs during the dream chain, but it's really hard to read my writing...I'll edit my post sometime when I have time to decipher them.



*For the September Competition (and my LD Count) I'll count this dream chain as one lucid since they were all basically back-to-back, and then count the first one as its own (since there was a period of longer wake in between them), so two total.