Thread: but it's not real....

I had a few family friends over today and the topic of dreaming came up. I naturally brought up my experiences with lucid dreaming and OBE's and explained to them in detail about what each one was. They seemed a bit intrigued and I discussed how I've had fun experiences with lucid dreaming but also really amazing and deeply personal experiences, like when I asked my subconscious to help me figure out some of my hallucinations and so on. I felt really good talking about it but they didn't seem to share the same opinions. One of them said "But it's not real."

I explained that it didn't matter to me and I tried to challenge them on what reality really is and if an experience is any less important because it was carried out in a dream. I got a few responses like "You've got too much time on your hands" and every time I tried to share something that I personally found amazing they made jokes out of it.

I guess it just got to me a bit. I don't have anyone in my waking life who values these experiences like I do and it feels quite isolating. They made out that only people who have no lives would be interested in this, which I found a bit offensive. In may case it is true. I won't give you the whole sob story but I'm unfit to work, have a lot of personal issues and it all honesty there's nothing I really value in my life *cue the worlds smallest violin*

I suppose it just made me feel a bit small and pathetic and it annoyed me that all these amazing things I've experienced through LD's and OBE's are just viewed as pointless by everyone else.

Anyway rant over. Just felt the need to get that off my chest. Has anyone found that lucid dreaming often isolates them from the people around or do you have a lot of people in waking life who also have lucid dreams?

Yes. I talk to my mother about it a lot, but she doesn't seem too interested in it. People who joke about it are often afraid of the idea, because they do not fully understand it. The reason people join these forums is so they feel less isolated, and to exchange ideas on dreaming.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

I feel for you, but unfortunatelly, that's the case with many of us. The few people I told about my "secret" were not laughing at me just because they were trying to be polite, one person told me I perhaps lost it, my mom is affraid for me. Only my best friend was supportive, but not interested in hearing any more about it.

Don't feel bad, because you were judged by ignorant people. That doesn't make you experiences any less cool and special.

LDs and OBEs had changed my life and view of the world and universe over one single night. If someone who didn't experience what I have (and what you did) and has no idea about the whole thing laughs at me, so be it. It can't offend me, if someone with less experience laughs at me. Does it hurt? Sure. Maybe one day they "discover" what you already know now and they will understand then. But not before.

Just keep visiting DV, get your strength and inspiration here. Good luck

My family also thinks I shouldn't "mess around with dreams" because I might "damage my brain". This shows nothing but ignorance towards the subject, so their opinions regarding lucid dreaming have no validity. To other people that think I'm wasting my time, I don't bother replying back, so many people think that lucid dreaming is merely recollecting fun memories, and there's no use on telling them it's a real experience (as real as waking life), because you can't force people to be a bit more open-minded.

I could go on, but Gab really made the point lol, you're here with loads of people that feel exactly the same, but the point is you should gather up with people that share your interests, and not bother if someone thinks you're wasting your time. Afterall, who get's to be "awake" for longer, them or us ?

I know I can't expect people to understand and I even said to them that unless they've experienced it they can't fathom what it's like. I suppose it probably hit a nerve because I don't have a great deal of good in my waking life at the moment and I really value my lucid dreams and I just felt they were mocking the only thing in my life that I currently feel good about.

Originally Posted by MRH92

I know I can't expect people to understand and I even said to them that unless they've experienced it they can't fathom what it's like. I suppose it probably hit a nerve because I don't have a great deal of good in my waking life at the moment and I really value my lucid dreams and I just felt they were mocking the only thing in my life that I currently feel good about.

Don't let that influence you. They don't know any better. If anything, we should feel sorry for them. They have this incredible opportunity to experience this wonderful world we are able to explore and perhaps better ourselves, but they are just not ready for it.

When I talk to my mom, I'm often so happy from my recent LD or progress with OBEs and I'm just bursting to relay this happines to her, but I just can't. She would not understand and that would destroy all my happy feeling. So I just keep it inside me and share on DV as much as possible. It helps when I write it in DJ. I get it out of me, and he doesn't laugh.

Sorry about this part but "lol", I always laugh so hard when people tell me LDing is useless.
They may say it isn't real, but hey you can actually study and create things that help out in "reality"/"waking" using dreams, while asleep, without wasting your time unlike they do, so yeah <.<
Also video-games? lol not real, movies? lol not real and so on and so forth, between using time to watch something on TV I prefer to waste nothing by dreaming it.

I bring up lucid dreaming and people just get a glazed look in their eyes. They don't care at all. Imagine people not caring that they could fly.

Meh. Don't let it get to you. Like the others before said, they're just missing out. Be happy that you are one of the few people in the world that gets to live a double life. It's silly when people think that lucid dreaming is a waste of time when really your putting to good use time that others usually waste.

Many people are just too tied to thinking about waking life as the only 'true' reality and they just don't accept many things that go versus their logic, as everything that goes versus their logic is just 'abnormal' for them. It can't be changed for now, maybe sometime in future though, we can hope.

Yeah I told my mum about lucid dreaming when I first heard about it (Before I knew the details), and she said it was stupid, because people probably only imagine that they can control dreams. When I had my first, I told her again, and she said "cool", my grandma was there at the time, but I said to my mum how sometimes your brain can act at a higher frequency when you're dreaming, than when you are awake (I read that somewhere.), My grandma agreed with me, and that was pretty much the end of conversation.

I have also spoken to my younger brother about it, and he thinks the idea is amazing. He gives me a lot of the ideas of things I could do, and we just have a laugh talking about it. One of my closest friends, she is the only other person who I speak to about it. We were talking about dreaming in general, when she said "Have you heard of lucid dreaming?" It turned out she was learning how to do it too.

Something I have found, is that people I know who either aren't very creative, imaginative, they don't really see the enjoyment of doing something other than every day life, or they don't dream, don't support/like the idea of lucid dreaming.

I haven't bothered to tell anybody in real life because I already know what their response will be. I know the weird look that I would get if I expressed all the experiences I've had, and how my family and my friends would see me differently and talk to me like i'm weird or not human/normal. Which is why I haven't told anybody in waking life yet.

Ask them if they watch television, and tell them that it isn't real.

Originally Posted by sloth

Ask them if they watch television, and tell them that it isn't real.

THIS

haha I'm lucky, when I asked my mom if she ever heard of lucid dreaming/obe's she mentioned that she used to have astral projection experiences and explained how she would awake floating in her room in her spirit body and watching herself sleep. She even said she had a white chord from her belly to her body and she would fly off into the astral world. I couldn't believe it haha. I haven't ever really mentioned that I took up practicing lucid dreaming since then. But ill bring it up again one day and see what she says.

Their opinion would change If they had experienced only 30 seconds of what most of us have.

Agree with all of the above. People are just attached to their worldview and are unwilling to accept any challenges to it. It's a survival mechanism and it's not an entirely bad thing. But in this case, the doubters are just showing their close-mindedness. I think the best way to approach the topic is to describe it as:

"You know, like when you're a little kid, and you're having a nightmare, and you realize you're having a nightmare, so you wake yourself up."

I think most people can at least accept and relate to this, even if they haven't experienced it first hand. It's common enough that it should slip past their reflex to reject everything new. Anything beyond that and they might start to resist, but they're less likely to think you're completely nuts.

I'm already viewed as completely nuts. I think that's probably part of the problem when talking to them about it.

I can sympathize. I have mentioned lucid dreaming to my family and my closest friends, but no one seems even slightly interested. It's been nice to see so many people interested on the subject on this forum, but it would be good to know someone close to me who showed some interest.

Most people I know think I am crazy (I have heard them say this about LDers i general, I don't tell them I do it). But I don't really mind. When you are LDing, you will be alone, I see no problem with being alone besides that. Of course DV helps, but LDing is a solo sport, you can't expect someone else to be interested. Even other people's LDs seem quite boring to me lots of times. it is my dreams I wish to fulfill, and only I can get there. No one can do this work for me.

Just think of it as that much more of a treat since so many clueless people are unable to comprehend it. And know your life is far richer for the experiences had.