My weakness to put LD on top of priority, and throw out the pot from my list. I know, it is a shame, but long run smokers will understand me. It is a real giving up, and changing of a lifestyle. If there is someone, who is beginer smoker, it is better that he/she knows, that smoking and recall (SHT memory and dreams) are antagonists (yes, there are some exceptional people, but I am not lucky (or?)).

So, No. 1. smoking. The No.2. is following my billowy motivation and not going deeper (again, priority). I am jumping in, after jumping out. No permanence. I can forgive this to my young self, but today...

I just simply must jump in, and stay there, let the smoking for parties...and not one day, but now. Thats the worst, when you fell your abilities, and then you get stuck on stupid barriers, like smoking or lazyness.