Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Bye Aly, you were definitely one of the more interesting personalities to drop by DV. Good luck with getting your life together, been trying to do that myself. Said a quick little prayer for you, because why not. Hope everything works out for you. =D
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I've started praying again, after gawd know's how many years. Even if God doesn't exist, the simple act of confessing all your wrong-doings/mistakes and then having "someone" (even if imaginary) to share your most private thoughts with is fucking awesome. And it sort of keeps me in line, makes it easier to stick to a certain path that I have in mind. So I guess faith isn't as impractical as I thought. .-.

@Aly I didn't know you but I empathize with you, life's such a struggle, what can I say.

Hope a have a good life!

Rant: Dreams should have a button, "permanently migrate".

17 people staying in one house o_O too many, too many

Edit: Goodbye Aly! I hope everything turns out well for you and you get stuff sorted.

Bye Aly, I'll remember you .

Alyzarin, no life is a wast. You are who you are, if thing's don't change for years, doesn't mean your a waste. I was 300lb's and unemployed at 18 had absolutely no friends and got up at 2pm everyday, I could not stop eating 8,000 calories a day, and thought about ending my life with endless calories I thought might as well enjoy the next 15 years of non stop consumption, Right now I'm 164lb's and I'm going to run the Philadelphia marathon, which is 26.2 miles long in November, and I have a full time kitchen prep job, sure it's not a high profile job, but you gotta live on what you have. If you think it's time for a change that's great, but never think it's a waste, if I had given in to it's a waste back then I would be at least 600lb's by now. It's never too late to say I'm going to go forwards, good luck with all you have to look forward to.

A guy hit on me at work today in a decidedly uncreepy way. I'm not even being sarcastic, it was nice. I was relieved that his only Liam-like feature were his eyes or I might have been in trouble, after all, I can't keep my subconscious from flailing around like a moron when I meet someone tall. Seriously. I'm messed up. I may actually be unlucky enough to have a minor psychotic break the next time and ruin the experience for the poor guy who thought me worth complimenting, you know, by flailing around and yelling at my subconscious to shut the hell up.

I'm also trying to decide if I'm embarrassed or amused, I have two Facebook friends with the same name, one I'm not close to and one that I am. The one I don't know very well posted a joke and I commented "haha I love you" and of course as I'm hitting enter I realize my mistake. So I follow that with "...that awkward moment when you mistake one Facebook friend for another Facebook friend with the same name........it's still funny though."
I posted from my phone so I opted for making a joke rather than fleeing the room to delete it from my desktop. Mostly because I couldn't explain my panic for making that dumb mistake to my boyfriend. I'm not sure he would have understood my need to correct it.

Also, we have never gone to see fireworks on the 4th of July, or set off any of our own. We never do anything aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......aaaaaa aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh ((p.s. my phone wanted to auto-correct that second part to jaws. I should have left it. It would have been funny.))

Confession:
For the last week and a half or so I've been immersed in a site called Subeta. That is part of the reason that I've been neglecting to post on here lately. It's like neopets, but aimed at adults rather than kids. In fact, that's how I found the site, by searching "sites like neopets for adults". I remembered neopets but had a little too much pride to actually sign up for it at the age of 23. Oddly, Subeta is pretty much exactly the same thing but with a larger adult population and occasionally nude avatars with suggestive clothing options. So, I've been addicted to that and have been so ashamed of it I've told virtually no one. Earning sP (the currency there of which I've made just short of 10 million already), restocking my shop, going on quests, playing games, etc. The game has the potential to ruin my entire life. I already had trouble fighting the procrastination battle daily before joining Subeta. If I stayed on the site I'd never have a chance. So, about 20 minutes ago I did what I'd known needed to be done for the last week and froze my account. I didn't plan to do it at all, just sort of started thinking about how pointless it is, and how much I'd accomplish in life if I were to put even half that effort into working on things that actually matter. That site is a deathtrap. It isn't even funny, it would have consumed my entire life. I would never get a degree, I'd never get a job. In fact, it reminds me a lot of WoW in a way, but not quite as bad. I'm glad I got off of WoW too, although that was more gradual and I never just chose to stop one day, and I'm so thankful that WoW must be paid for routinely or else I would almost definitely have turned back to it by now and I don't know if I'd even have the willpower to stop it.

On the subject of addictions, I'm trying to quit smoking. Although I originally planned to go cold-turkey I decided to do it gradually instead. I'm down from ~10/day to 3/day right now. I went directly from 10 to 4, then after 5 days of that have been smoking 3 for the last two days, and I hope to be down to 2 tomorrow. Or, I'll just quit entirely tomorrow. I'm not sure yet and see how I feel after going the first few hours of the day without one.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Confession:
On the subject of addictions, I'm trying to quit smoking. Although I originally planned to go cold-turkey I decided to do it gradually instead. I'm down from ~10/day to 3/day right now. I went directly from 10 to 4, then after 5 days of that have been smoking 3 for the last two days, and I hope to be down to 2 tomorrow. Or, I'll just quit entirely tomorrow. I'm not sure yet and see how I feel after going the first few hours of the day without one.

Congrats to you, m'lady!

I've heard that it helps to focus on what your loved ones could gain by a healthier you.

Or even just to put your smoke money into a trust that is reserved for your current needs...whatever those happen to be at the time. Learn to give those needs priority...smoking often detracts from them...

Best wishes to you,

Fuck addictions, man

You need to replace the addiction with another addiction, only one that is healthier and more fulfilling.

IMO it is literally the only way to successfully quit something. If you don't replace smoking time with something-else time, you're just gonna sit there and think about cigarettes.

Life is such funny business, all of us ranting firmly about something that seems the absolute pain in the ass to have, some of us (like this idiot right here) even project that into life itself! Meanwhile for other people it's just random stuff, doesn't even exist. We ourselves given very little time will more often than not also find it so but instead we replace it with more new stuff every time.

Anyway, don't know what my point is. Rant, Rave, Cry and Complain... can we add Ramble?

Originally Posted by acatalephobic

Congrats to you, m'lady!

I've heard that it helps to focus on what your loved ones could gain by a healthier you.

Or even just to put your smoke money into a trust that is reserved for your current needs...whatever those happen to be at the time. Learn to give those needs priority...smoking often detracts from them...

Best wishes to you,

Thank you. I don't have any money right now though (guess that's part of the reason I'm choosing to quit right now). I'm borrowing what little money I have.

Originally Posted by Micael

Life is such funny business, all of us ranting firmly about something that seems the absolute pain in the ass to have, some of us (like this idiot right here) even project that into life itself! Meanwhile for other people it's just random stuff, doesn't even exist. We ourselves given very little time will more often than not also find it so but instead we replace it with more new stuff every time.

Anyway, don't know what my point is. Rant, Rave, Cry and Complain... can we add Ramble?

Your last sentence of the first paragraph doesn't make sense to me. Other than that, I don't know what you mean either. Ranting about random stuff that 'doesn't even exist'? I'm pretty sure people aren't making up their problems. It's all stuff that would genuinely be obstacles at the time whether this thread existed or not. Maybe the problems seem insignificant to you because you aren't actually the person experiencing them.

Originally Posted by tommo

You need to replace the addiction with another addiction, only one that is healthier and more fulfilling.

IMO it is literally the only way to successfully quit something. If you don't replace smoking time with something-else time, you're just gonna sit there and think about cigarettes.

I've never heard that tip before, but it occurred to me for some reason a couple days ago. I thought I need to replace it with something, since half the addiction to smoking seems to just be having something to do, going outside and taking a break doing something nice. Specifically I considered going back to drinking tea a lot (used to drink green tea like 3x a day, sometimes other types).

Some other good advice I got lately was to stop smoking at times that you normally associate with smoking, like for me it would be after meals, with coffee, in the morning, or after a stressful situation. And that makes a lot of sense. Before I'd smoke at those times when I didn't even necessarily feel like having one, just because it was part of a routine. So the cigarettes I've been having, I've been trying to smoke at abnormal times. Going for my walk before having one instead of having one right in the morning, waiting until at least a couple hours after meals, etc.

And sorry you're still confused with the girl. That kind of thing can fuck up people's heads.

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Slight rave: Had a lot of sexy dreams last night and a DILD in the morning because my dead dog was in it and I was like 'wait... you're dead, I'm dreaming'. Except the lucid dream basically involved me looking for sex the whole time and wandering the house then being unable to find it. Then the dream started teasing me by offering me non-sexy stuff. In the beginning though it was kind of funny. After I realized I was dreaming, I said to my mom "Hey, I just realized I'm dreaming" in a weary matter-of-fact tone. I didn't know how I expected her to respond. Usually my DCs get really awkward, like the fact that it's a dream is the elephant in the room that's being brought up. My mom did get awkward, she was just like "oh...okay" or something.

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Feel like all these thoughts are scattered, feel like shit and I need a cigarette. I want to edit everything until it makes more sense but am not going to as it's already..... fuck. .. 1:17pm. It was about 11:30 when I woke up. I'm supposed to be getting up earlier. I'm already getting irritated at every little thing.

@Dianeva you got it all wrong, maybe I didn't express myself right. It is of no importance but I'll try to rephrase.

Starting on the last sentence of the 1st paragraph what I meant is given proper time our problems get sorted out or go away and what once might've been the biggest drama is of no relevance to the present moment, and yet we always find something new to concern or even torment ourselves with. This is often not our fault of course, I was just commenting on the human condition.

The problems people rant about are very genuine to themselves, if you check some of my previous posts I got some of my own too, don't get me wrong. What I was saying is that it's interesting that something that can seem to consume your whole world so entirely may not even be in the awareness of the person next to you, "it doesn't exist", it begins and ends in our private mental space. Even if one thing is getting to be troublesome to multiple people it just speaks to each of them in different ways on many different levels.

All this is said very casually, like I said was just rambling a little bit.

I'm also quitting smoking, 3 weeks in, I feel your pain. If you can somehow make it to the next day you just have to trust it gets a lot easier with time, but I guess you might need a stronger motive than money if you want to last longer. Regarding the addiction replacement theory I think that some alcohol occasionally can be quite helpful. Be careful though, it can also be tricky and loose you up to buy a pack.

^ Kind of like ice on a highway - it's only there temporarily, all it is is an extremely thin layer of water, the lifegiving element, plus cold. It won't be there in a couple more hours, but while it is it can kill people and destroy cars and trucks and create huge news stories.

Rant: I'd post a rant, but I lack willpower and have a short attention span, which was going to be the subject of my rant anyway. So... yeah.

Paradoxical rant of infinite regression..

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Paradoxical rant of infinite regression..

EWWWWWW

@Darkmatters

I like your analogy.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Paradoxical rant of infinite regression..

What the hell?

I just woke up and since I only smoked 2 yesterday I'm just going to quit now completely. All I'm doing by dragging it on is prolonging the misery. I don't think stopping will be that hard now. At the moment I feel fine anyway and I haven't had one in 17 hours.

I finally got the final exam mark back for the operating system exam I took 5 weeks ago and got 86%, giving me a 93.9% in the whole course. So at least I did well on that, even if I failed the math one.

And I really hate that picture above. Obviously it's fake but it's extremely disturbing. I've had to scroll down past it. Why did someone have to quote it to make it appear even more?

Originally Posted by Dianeva

dragging it on

Freudian slip?

Rant:
Tommo's LD Count this year: 2

I just realized...i had a nightmare..because i wasn't wearing my crystal bracelet!!!!! AArgh!!!!!
All about a haunted evil house i was in and everything was crumbling down around me and i was trying to get out and i can't! The house kept tricking me! Doors opening by itself !! blood walls, guts etc uuurgh! X( Been so long since i had a nightmare, like weeks ago and things were getting good!
Okay, so....that dream about my DG leaving can't be true then...it's all a trick!!! yes...i should tell myself this now before i sleep! He can't leave! damn braceleeeeeet!

Originally Posted by Micael

Life is such funny business, all of us ranting firmly about something that seems the absolute pain in the ass to have, some of us (like this idiot right here) even project that into life itself! Meanwhile for other people it's just random stuff, doesn't even exist. We ourselves given very little time will more often than not also find it so but instead we replace it with more new stuff every time.

Anyway, don't know what my point is. Rant, Rave, Cry and Complain... can we add Ramble?

Totally agree. So many things I've ranted about in the past just seem so pointless now, I'm embarrassed at some of the old ones. But at the time it was real, and it hurt, so it doesn't really mean nothing. I just wonder if other people also find my complaints trivial and stupid.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Slight rave: Had a lot of sexy dreams last night and a DILD in the morning because my dead dog was in it and I was like 'wait... you're dead, I'm dreaming'. Except the lucid dream basically involved me looking for sex the whole time and wandering the house then being unable to find it. Then the dream started teasing me by offering me non-sexy stuff. In the beginning though it was kind of funny. After I realized I was dreaming, I said to my mom "Hey, I just realized I'm dreaming" in a weary matter-of-fact tone. I didn't know how I expected her to respond. Usually my DCs get really awkward, like the fact that it's a dream is the elephant in the room that's being brought up. My mom did get awkward, she was just like "oh...okay" or something.

Heh, whenever I start the LD in my house, if I tell my mum I'm dreaming she tries to convince me I'm not and actually a few other DC's have tried to do the same. When I prove it, she just kind of says nothing.

Originally Posted by fOrceez

Rant:
Tommo's LD Count this year: 2

Tell me about -.- I was really trying for a while too, that's when I got my second one, with ADA.
It's very difficult to stay aware all day while working. I sort of need to go off in my head so I don't realise the monotony of what I'm doing.

I haven't smoked in 42 hours, so yeah, I have quit. But it sucks. Everything's irritating of course. I'm also nauseous because I idiotically got really drunk last night to get my mind off smoking and was just sitting there nauseous and throwing up for like 3 hours, waiting for it to end, then finally went to bed and passed out. Then this morning I found out some people get nauseous from quitting smoking for like a week. Fuck.... being nauseous is my least favorite feeling in the world so it better not stay like that. This better just be a regular hangover that will go away soon.

Watched The Land Before Time last night which was really nostalgic and awesome until I got sick. Whole time I wa sjust like "OMG I REMEMBER PEETREE", "I REMEMBER THIS SCENE", all memories of stuff I hadn't seen since I was like 9 years old or so. And I realize how awesome that show is now. Kids can understand it but it doesn't try to glaze over things and trick you into thinking everything's happy. The plot is pretty depressing, the danger is real. The whole atmosphere is just so original. I feel sorry for anyone who didn't watch it while growing up. Kids nowadays probably don't even watch that anymore.

Oh and:

(Don't forget how he's always hungry).