Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by lifeinsteps

I hold the damned door for you all the time!

(Today, I learned I'm not alone. Thanks, Cracked.)

"This entry is a little different from the others, and in a way it is simultaneously the least offensive and most egregious one on the list. Look, you're supposed to be kind and courteous. That's just the deal. You don't deserve a medal. I get it, but at the same time, when I go out of my way to hold a door open for someone, and they don't say thank you, I go a little nuts. Hell, you don't even really have to say thank you. Just like nod and grumble something. That's fine. But when you take a door that's being held open for you and walk through without even noticing who's done you a tiny favor, you magically transform someone's act of kindness into an act of servitude. Not only are you not saying thank you, you're saying "Hmm, very well, piss boy you may allow me to enter." Without saying a word you're discouraging future acts of kindness. That is why, without a hint of hyperbole, humanity demands that I concoct a bizarre death for you."

7 Obnoxious Behaviors That Should Be Punishable By Death

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

I want KFC so bad right now that I can actually feel the lack of food on my tongue. Yes, I can taste the absence of fried chicken, and it doesn't taste good.

I cannot allow this to continue.

EDIT: Problem solved.

I didn't notice you were the one who made such a post until I took a second look at the poster. Omg Aly wants KFC? I have that thought almost everytime I'm craving for fried food, not now though sore throat is still there.

Originally Posted by lifeinsteps

(Today, I learned I'm not alone. Thanks, Cracked.)

"This entry is a little different from the others, and in a way it is simultaneously the least offensive and most egregious one on the list. Look, you're supposed to be kind and courteous. That's just the deal. You don't deserve a medal. I get it, but at the same time, when I go out of my way to hold a door open for someone, and they don't say thank you, I go a little nuts. Hell, you don't even really have to say thank you. Just like nod and grumble something. That's fine. But when you take a door that's being held open for you and walk through without even noticing who's done you a tiny favor, you magically transform someone's act of kindness into an act of servitude. Not only are you not saying thank you, you're saying "Hmm, very well, piss boy you may allow me to enter." Without saying a word you're discouraging future acts of kindness. That is why, without a hint of hyperbole, humanity demands that I concoct a bizarre death for you."

7 Obnoxious Behaviors That Should Be Punishable By Death

You should just open the door, hold it till the next person behind you can grab hold of it and leave the door to him/her. I don't see the point of holding doors for people other than my families and friends whom I'm out with, it makes me feel stupid and nobody waits for the doorman when they walk away.

Every time I walk around this University, these Acorns are falling down like crazy, they're popping onto the ground, making irregular bounces, and make "pew pew pew" sound as people somehow step on the edge to make them catapult into the air. Those damn squirrels, I know they're hatching an elaborate scheme for the winter AND to take control of the world. I know Foamy the Squirrel must be into this. Those squirrels are just looking patiently, caressing those nuts before they nibble on them.

I'm not kidding, they aren't even afraid of people. You could go near them, they just LOOK you and eat those nuts with pride. I honestly want to choke one, but obviously, people would look at me weird.
----------------------

Lab was horrible, because I forgot to do a second distillation, so the GR analysis ended up that I have traces of water, even though I did two tests that verified water IS NOT contained, but apparently, a tiny bit of water still matters when it affects data. I know I'll get a perfect lab report grade, or just 3 points deducted. 27/30 is a 90, so that's not bad, but still even if that's the case, I get so annoyed missing these easy methods of getting data for IR spectrums and all that. It's so bullshit, it's so easy, I don't know what's wrong with me.

---------------------------------

I'm losing faith in my Math Class, even though I'm one point above the class average, and if there's a redemption quiz for 20 points like the last failure of the exam I took, I can get a C, which would be AWESOME, but no, they're going to make the quiz ten times harder than than the exam, and I'll probably only get 5 points. What's worse, NO partial credit is allowed. It's all or nothing. Oh, and if you guess the right answer, but show no work, SUCKS for you! So I'm aiming for a D in that class.

I can get two D's, At least 1 A, and 2 B's to be more than clear for passing overall. I thought I was going to get a high GPR for Biochemistry, but that's not the case. Hopefully the word "Biochemistry" + "Black Guy taking it" is going to give me some working ground out in the real world.

Better start Will Smith Pursuit of Happiness'ing this shit, or else I'm going to be stuck with no planning to pay these debts like any other unfortunate being who has to attend Universities/colleges.

You know what's even more pathetic, I'm starting to skew the concept of Akashic Records as a way to give me a wild card....loooooool, I am THIS -----> <---- close from doing that, actually I'm not, because I'm still horrible with getting goals down in my dreams anyway.

I can't be confident in myself when taking the exam, that means I'll just get too cocky, and end up making stupid mistakes. I can't even be serious, because I'll get to anxious.

So what am I going to do? Just take my brain and just lie down there and play Eenie Meenie Miney Moe? It's hard being neutral, it takes a lot of audacity for me to do that.


tl ;dr Squirrels are plotting their next attempt for winter, I think they're collaborating to affect people taking Final Exams, THIS BOMB THREAT THAT happened last Friday was UNNECESSARY, it screwed up planning, especially for U.S. History.

The only "plus" for this, is that there's no discussion meeting for History this Friday, which is a godsend, but STILL, just because some asshole had some grudge in a class, doesn't mean you make a damn phone call, and say there's a BOMB. Even I'm not that desperate.

Take it in the asshole, and keep going, don't do something so stupid creating hysteria.

What's next in this University?

- Bank robber last year, who happened to be 10 feet away from me AND ARMED, but I didn't know until later. That dude did some sly stuff acting casually walking in the middle of the traffic.....god I'm stupid.


-Another Bank robber who's face was identified, but is STILL at large.

-A guy who doesn't want to be evicted shooting a police officer

-And the recent Fake Bomb Threat

What's next huh? Gummy Bear Stock decrease? Things are so unpredictable here, and the fact that it's a ghost town during the weekends makes it perfect for anyone who's bored and wants to sign a death wish and cause some kind of stupid crime here.

Anti-Rant: I have none, and even if I did, it wouldn't conquer some other thoughts I rather not make a novel here in the first place.

/rant

I read a few articles last night about weight loss. It's kind of annoying that all of them start with something like "Tired of hearing about fad diets?" No, I rarely look this stuff up, I've never followed a fad diet in my life and I find the assumption kind of offensive. Even though they aren't talking to me... so maybe I'm half joking. It's so confusing Some of them swear that all the other sites are wrong and, when it comes down to it, it's a simple calories out - calories in = weight loss formula. That does make sense in a way but I can imagine ways in which it wouldn't and wish I knew more about how/when the body actually breaks down fat so I could figure it out. For now I guess I'm going to do what I've already been doing, except maybe eat something small if I'm genuinely hungry and am not supposed to eat for a while. I'll also exercise more.

Originally Posted by Auron

@D you also want to take note of when you're the hungriest, and schedule your meals at those times. I don't know what kind of portions you were eating pre-diet, but you should eat smaller amounts, but more throughout the day. IE or more small meals throughout the day so you will be less inclined to over eat when given the opportunity. As for the stomach expansion you mentioned...who knows. But I mean a big meal that isn't really going anywhere. Sure I could see it happening. I think you only noticed because you may be a little more self conscious about your changes in your body.

Thanks, yeah, I'll probably try to change the diet a bit to allow myself to eat small amounts when I'm extremely hungry. Again I'm afraid that I'll just stop losing weight if I try to eat any more than I am but I guess I'll risk it.

Originally Posted by Auron

Now I'm starting to eat more vegetables, leaner meats, and whole wheat grains. When weight loss hit's a plateau, I'll either step up my exercise routine to include gym work, or decrease my calorie/carb intake....which means bye bye beer/liquor.

Good luck. Luckily for me cutting alcohol was the first thing I decided to do for other reasons. And since that was the habit I was pretty sure I was preventing me from losing weight for the last year, I thought I might as well try to lose weight again now.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

As for diets... I think once you start putting on a little pudge the space is "filled" more easily because the skin has stretched. I used to be extremely thin (too thin). If I ate a lot, my stomach might have protruded the teensiest bit.
But now-a-days, if I lose weight then eat a little too much, the pooch seems more pronounced. That's when I figured it was just the stretched skin.

That sounds like it makes sense. But does the skin ever become tight again when someone has been skinny for a long time?

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I still smoke close to 2 packs a day.
My blood pressure and pulse, sugar and basic blood work are still normal thus far, but I realize a change is needed and soon. I'm 38 years old.
I keep hoping that eating better will give me more energy which in turn will motivate me to move more

Perhaps the only good thing about smoking is that it helps you lose weight. I honestly don't think I'd have been able to keep this up unless I had a cigarette to smoke every time I got hungry enough and felt the need to go downstairs.
Good luck and be motivated.

Originally Posted by Crashyy

So tomorrow I have to take the bus for the first time ever. I took the bus a few times though but that was with my mates. I'm so anxious and nervous, I feel sick just thinking about it. I'm just so anxious about waiting for the bus, getting on the bus, finding a seat, having everyone look at me as I get on and off the bus. Like what if certain kids start to pick on me, steal my phone or what if the bus is full and I'll be the only person standing there in the middle when everyone's sitting down and looking at me. I'm not even sure if I'm going to make it through the day omg. Any tips?

I know what that's like, or what it was for me a few years ago. I was really nervous, like first-job-interview nervous, terrified of every stage. I'd never been on the bus, never pulled the string at the side before so I was afraid it somehow didn't work. I didn't know how I was supposed to get on it, afraid I wouldn't know where to put the money, etc. I was probably even worse than you because I was extremely socially nervous. It didn't go well either. It was fine until I got to my transfer stop, pulled the string and the bus just kept going for like 7 blocks. I kept pulling it and thought I must be doing something wrong. Still not sure if I did. I ended up running 9 blocks to the next stop and being late for school.
I also thought people would be staring at me, but they really aren't. Most people on the bus probably ride it often, and will assume you do too. People don't often talk on busses (unless you're talking about a school bus or something). It's kind of like an elevator, but because there's noise and stuff going on, and people have their own books and iphones, etc. it's less awkward.
I actually prefer to stand in buses, I'm not sure why. I find a good place to stand (if the bus design wherever you live is similar) is leaning on the wall right next to the back door, facing forward. Then your're still sort of on the side so you don't feel like anyone is staring at you, and you don't have to worry about balancing yourself much because the forward motion will push you again the wall.

HOLYFUCKGIJ UST REALIZED IM SUPPOSED TO BE SOMEWHERE RIGHT NOW ON BUS FUCKFUCKUFKCUFKCUK~!!!!!! FORGOT COMPLETLEY AHHH!H!H!!

I've been wondering about the skin tightening back up too. It would be kind of dispiriting to lose a lot of weight only to have skin flaps
As for smoking being used as weight loss....
Not for me. When I was about 15 years old, I worked at Burger King. I had a 10 minute break. I could either eat OR smoke... so I decided to do both at the same time It's an unfortunate habit that has stayed with me to this day. I think cigarettes intensify the taste of food and when I QUIT, it's hard for me to eat because everything tastes "off".
Yeah... I'm a weird one lol

My rant is that I slept most of the day anyhow. I did manage to get 2 loads of laundry done however. I'll clean out my car tonight or tomorrow.

Fuck.

It's 6am, I got an interview at 9am. I haven't sleep for the whole night or bathe. Maybe I shouldn't have told him I was okay with any timeslots. You know everytime I need to get up early for the next day, I sleep EVEN LATER than usual. And my usual is not any earlier either. I don't know what's wrong with me. Is it a psychological problem I can't explain?

Originally Posted by lifeinsteps

(Today, I learned I'm not alone. Thanks, Cracked.)

"This entry is a little different from the others, and in a way it is simultaneously the least offensive and most egregious one on the list. Look, you're supposed to be kind and courteous. That's just the deal. You don't deserve a medal. I get it, but at the same time, when I go out of my way to hold a door open for someone, and they don't say thank you, I go a little nuts. Hell, you don't even really have to say thank you. Just like nod and grumble something. That's fine. But when you take a door that's being held open for you and walk through without even noticing who's done you a tiny favor, you magically transform someone's act of kindness into an act of servitude. Not only are you not saying thank you, you're saying "Hmm, very well, piss boy you may allow me to enter." Without saying a word you're discouraging future acts of kindness. That is why, without a hint of hyperbole, humanity demands that I concoct a bizarre death for you."

7 Obnoxious Behaviors That Should Be Punishable By Death

I was going to do homework but then I followed the link to that site. I guess that works too.

So I left a window open. Just one little window. One window somehow managed to ruin my day. This particular window overlooks an end table that I use to stow the things I usually grab to take with me when I leave to run errands and stuff. "I'll just leave it open for now to let a breeze in", I thought. What could possibly go wrong? A FUCKING RAINSTORM FROM HELL, THAT'S WHAT. 3 hours and an unintentional nap later, I found my phone, wallet, mail, and notebook practically destroyed by what seems to be a fire hose being blasted at them for a prolonged period of time.

Spent the last 20 minutes aiming a $10 blowdrier at the bedraggled remains of my belongings. I'll be here for a while...

Originally Posted by lifeinsteps

(Today, I learned I'm not alone. Thanks, Cracked.)

"This entry is a little different from the others, and in a way it is simultaneously the least offensive and most egregious one on the list. Look, you're supposed to be kind and courteous. That's just the deal. You don't deserve a medal. I get it, but at the same time, when I go out of my way to hold a door open for someone, and they don't say thank you, I go a little nuts. Hell, you don't even really have to say thank you. Just like nod and grumble something. That's fine. But when you take a door that's being held open for you and walk through without even noticing who's done you a tiny favor, you magically transform someone's act of kindness into an act of servitude. Not only are you not saying thank you, you're saying "Hmm, very well, piss boy you may allow me to enter." Without saying a word you're discouraging future acts of kindness. That is why, without a hint of hyperbole, humanity demands that I concoct a bizarre death for you."

7 Obnoxious Behaviors That Should Be Punishable By Death

Hmmm... If I were making a list like that, on it would be "people who do something nice for someone without them asking and then demand something in return." If you expect something in return, then it shows you aren't really being nice because you care about other people. You're being nice because you want to feel good about yourself upon receiving gratitude.

Don't get me wrong, I do hold doors open for people if I happen to be close in front of them, and I say thank you when they do, because I care about the other people. I just wouldn't want to live in a world in which being nice is really a facade.

I must just live in a kind area. People around here always say thanks when you open the door for them, the thought that someone might not seems odd to me. Or maybe they don't sometimes and I just don't notice lol.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Thanks for the input and for possibly clearing a few things up.

But there are skinny people who seem to always have flat stomachs. Perhaps when you're that skinny the stomach expansion is hardly noticeable, or those people eat barely anything just before they're going to show their stomachs (hate using the word stomach when that's an internal organ). Come to think of it though, I had a perfect stomach until the age of 16 and I don't remember it ever expanding. Maybe it doesn't happen to kids? I'm not sure I believe you on this point yet.

You don't believe me that the stomach expands when there is food in it? Where do you think it goes?
When you say there are skinny people who "always" have flat stomachs, what are you basing this on?
How many peoples stomachs do you look at a day? How much data do you have and did you take in to account when they eat and when they haven't eaten and then subsequently show their stomach?
You might see some people running/walking/exercising in some way, some teenage girls with short tops on, people at the beach and other than that, models and actors.

It's fairly uncommon and you see them at their best.

The body isn't a static thing, it's constantly burning and storing fat and consuming and expelling food and waste and going through cycles of hormones and sleep and etc.etc.

Originally Posted by UToo

I think I have a high metabolism where I seem to burn a lot of nervous energy. I generally can eat whatever, although I try to steer clear of fizzy drinks or sugar (inc. sweetener) in tea.

I do walk a bit, and do light exercise however.

haha this reminds me of a Woody Allen line in the movie Scoop, which I often thought true of myself too, so I found it hilarious.
I think someone asks him if he does exercise and he's like "I don't need to.... my anxiety acts as an aerobic"

There's probably some truth in it. I wouldn't be surprised if jittering my legs up and down all day used a shitload of energy.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Hmmm... If I were making a list like that, on it would be "people who do something nice for someone without them asking and then demand something in return." If you expect something in return, then it shows you aren't really being nice because you care about other people. You're being nice because you want to feel good about yourself upon receiving gratitude.

Don't get me wrong, I do hold doors open for people if I happen to be close in front of them, and I say thank you when they do, because I care about the other people. I just wouldn't want to live in a world in which being nice is really a facade.

This^
I forgot to thank someone the other day who held the door open for me (I didn't even NOTICE because I was thinking about something else, and I saw the door was open half-mindedly and didn't even think about it) and as I'm walking off she's like "THANK YOU!" in the most disgusting rhetorical voice ever. FUCK YOU BITCH!

If I hole the door open I expect nothing in return, it is inconsequential for me to hold it open for 1 second.

What I do find funny about this door holding business is when someone holds it open for you when it is clearly more difficult to get out while they're doing that.
This has happened multiple times at the pizza shop, as I walk out with the case things, someone holds the fucking door but they're blocking half the goddamn doorway and the cases don't fit through and hit the doorframe so I have to awkwardly chuckle and they still keep holding it and then I just wanna spill blood, well not really, I just tilt it and go through, I don't wanna kill dumb people, at least they're nice and trying to do something nice.

Originally Posted by Carrot

You should just open the door, hold it till the next person behind you can grab hold of it and leave the door to him/her. I don't see the point of holding doors for people other than my families and friends whom I'm out with, it makes me feel stupid and nobody waits for the doorman when they walk away.

Nah. I appreciate the advice, and it is good advice. It's just that if I stop holding doors for people, I'll feel kind of like I've given up. I've been doing it my entire life for people, and I guess old habits die hard.

Originally Posted by Taffy

I was going to do homework but then I followed the link to that site. I guess that works too.

Cracked is internet crack. I read it every morning on the way to class. Not while I'm driving, 'course, while I'm walking.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

If you expect something in return, then it shows you aren't really being nice because you care about other people. You're being nice because you want to feel good about yourself upon receiving gratitude.

Well, actually, it's kind of the opposite. I'm not looking for a reward. I guess I'm actually hoping that they'll say thanks because they want to encourage kindness. They reciprocate the fact that someone is doing a favor by thanking them, and thereby saying, "Yes, I agree that you should do nice things for people."

When they don't, as Mr. Cracked-Writer-Guy said, they're discouraging acts of kindness in the future. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna stop holding doors for people because some guy didn't say thanks. I'm not even going to get angry. (The day I wrote that post is an exception, I swear. I was having a really bad day.) -but what about the next guy that they do that to? Is he gonna just brush off the fact that three people in a row in a single day just gave him the stink-eye for trying to be nice to a stranger? I hope so, but I sometimes have my doubts.

It's just that it kind of hurts on some sort of primal level to see members of my species just... lack any sort of caring. It's not that they don't say thanks to me, and that hurts because I didn't get my cookie for being a good boy... It's annoying because it reminds me that my generation fails to remember courtesy exists in any form.

Plus, as I said in the first post, the sneer doesn't make me like them any more. Failure to appreciate kindness is one thing, laughing in the face of it is a whole different matter.

Originally Posted by tommo

I forgot to thank someone the other day who held the door open for me (I didn't even NOTICE because I was thinking about something else, and I saw the door was open half-mindedly and didn't even think about it) and as I'm walking off she's like "THANK YOU!" in the most disgusting rhetorical voice ever. FUCK YOU BITCH!

Spoiler for Dat Offensiveness:

The proper response in this situation is almost definitely a [edit: (running)] vagina punch.

I love cracked! I thought I was the only one who really read the articles and stuff.

Ugh... I am sick I really wish I could keep track of my thermometer. But I doubt I'd have a fever with food poisoning (if that's what it is).
I woke up and went outside. It's 55 degrees. I'd normally freeze. But I was clammy and very hot. I tried to puke, but it's been too long since I've eaten anything.
I replaced 2 "meals" with small chocolate milks yesterday (one when I woke up the other before I went to sleep). I had my usual hotdogs in the evening. Around noon my son cooked some Chili with ingredients I'm not use to.
Any of those things (or nothing) could be the problem. I started feeling ill though almost immediately after drinking the last milk.
To make matters worse, my "ulcer" is killing me and the pain is radiating down the left side of my back

Now I'm going to eat some plain bread just so I can vomit. Lovely

Whatever this is, it better pass quickly. I have that trip coming up in just 2 days!!!

Anti-rant: I had some really nice dreams during the 2 hours I was asleep

The process of holding doors open for people is so strange. I mean, sure, I'll give the door a hard push back so it stays open longer if there's someone looking like they're going out behind me. I might even pause for a few seconds until they're close enough to catch it. But why on earth would you hold open a door to let someone pass before you out of it? That's just inefficient.

Also, I'm cleaning my apartment. My sister's coming to visit me this evening, so it has to look sorta decent here. And truth to be told, it was really about time. But it's so tedious.

It's amazing how much better I feel. I went back to sleep from 6-10. I'm still a bit nauseous and my stomach is still churning a bit, but I no longer feel like I'm about to hurl or die lol
I ate 2 pieces a plain wheat bread before going back to sleep and that seemed to help. I never did puke.
Maybe my "ulcer" was just angry at me (it's actually duodenitis but I can never spell that lol and it seems like a similar problem only in a different area).
I blame the milk. I'm lactose sensitive to begin with. I should have known better. Plus, it smelled a little "off" but I had JUST bought it and it tasted fine so I told myself it was all in my head. Perhaps not lol

As for holding doors... I usually go out of my way to hold doors open. Sometimes I get a thank you or a head nod sometimes I get a weird look or nothing at all. I hold it open for me. Even if I get no acknowledgment at all, I feel good for being nice. And unless I'm in a hurry, if I'm pulling in for fast food and there's a lot of traffic and someone in the opposing row of traffic is also trying to turn in; I'll keep traffic on my side stopped and let the other person in first even though I know there's a good chance they're hitting the drive-through too.

Last week, I was coming home from a store run and noticed something had gotten into the neighbors trash bags and trash was laying loose in the surrounding area. I could tell they weren't home. It's an elderly couple who live there and though we've been neighbors for 12 years or so, we rarely talk other than to say hello. But I grabbed a pair of gloves and 2 trash bags and cleaned it all up. I didn't tell anyone I did so until now. To me, holding open doors amounts to the same thing. It's not required, it's just nice.

Wohooo I survived my first day using le bus So I had to take 3 different buses to school and I took the wrong 2nd bus lol so I was like freaking out But I got lucky cause the destination was the same. Then with the last bus, I stepped of way to early and I had to walk for 10 minutes to school. I had no idea where I was. D: Eventually I arrived at school but 20 minutes too late. On the way back home I missed the right bus, but I took another and eventually I arrived back home. I was listening to music all the time so I never talked to anyone. <---- THAT MEANS I SURVIVED MY FIRST DAY USING THE BUS OMGGGGGGGGG ;D Soo happy (:

I hate my hair. It's stupid, I just can't get myself to go to the hairdresser. I've got this annoying anxiety that makes me unable to get it done.
I think I have this anxiety for a shit load of things. I can hardly ever get anything done, and it makes me feel so inferior and pathetic. It's so frustrating. I'm not very many months from being 20, and I don't know how to do the most basic things, I can't do anything on my own. I don't know any of those things I'd need to be able to do if I lived by myself because, well I don't really know why, but I think I was never taught to do any of them. It's as if my parents always just did things for me and never showed me how it's actually done.

And my dad doesn't even seem to recognize this. He's constantly acting like everything is fine, I frankly feel almost a kind of disgust every time he goes on about some insipid anecdote or makes a joke about some idiotic thing on the television. It's just the way he laughs about his own shit that angers me. It should be so clear to him that I don't care, yet it's all he does, it's just constantly this facade that everything is as it should be.
This relationship to my dad makes learning all those things a real dilemma. I mean it's like, for many of the things, they're things that I would feel motivated to do when he isn't around. I generally feel much more motivated and active when he isn't home, it makes me feel free and energized. But the problem is that I'm not sure I could learn all the things alone, yet I wouldn't be able to stand having him show me how to do things now. It's like it's simply too late. Working in the kitchen with him? Literally feels nauseating to imagine.

It's so annoying that I can't get things done. I feel so insecure and unsure of myself. And it just builds upon itself because it means all my clothes are plain and my hair looks shit and I act less confident.
I just keep getting more and more annoyed, right now I'm at some kind of peak of annoyance from writing about this (and from accidentally closing the window mid-post). Ugh.

On a positive note, I was invited to a birthday party for one of K's brothers. So I guess I'll get to see her, for once where I don't have to feel like I'm supposed to be somewhere else. But I don't know if it's going to get really awkward what with Mr.T having recently told me that he feels awkward and uncomfortable about it. Uuugh, I just want to be her friend. She seems to like me, I like her, so what is the fucking problem here? Wait why did this suddenly turn into a negative rant? It was supposed to be positive. It's strange how, after having discussions with Mr.T, it instantly becomes an elephant in the room. But not only that, it becomes the elephant with the best camouflage in the world. It's so strange how everything just goes right back to normal as if it never happened. And it's a little sad that I can't share my thoughts with him, he becomes aggressive really really quickly if our views aren't perfectly the same, which results in me just never really telling him what I think. The thing that's still on a positive note here is that things have gone back to normal and I can still talk and play around with K without Mr.T giving me shit about it.

Ugh. I'm looking for someone else who shares this anxiety. I have my yearly doctors appointment (it's just like a general physical thing) Monday which I have been freaking out about since a few days ago. (Worrying about it since June actually). I hate hate hate it so much ugh, i just feel like asdfghjkl about it and it's so dumb! It's all I can think (well more technically, worry) about. On top of that, I'm sick. I feel congested, I have a bad cough and I have a tough time breathing, on top of my asthma; which is most disheartening because this time of year is the time when I've had to go to the hospital for it.0
I've been home all day just feeling like shit on so many levels .___.

I need to get a full time job while taking a couple online courses and am trying to figure out where to apply. I'm 23 - too old to work at some fast food place or something without feeling like a loser. Plus, in most places where young people are expected to work, they're expected to be really nice and sociable, have outgoing personalities, etc.

I understand why the companies want that, but it sucks for me. I have no problem with being genuinely nice and polite to people, but I couldn't stand my last job in which everyone was expected to be ridiculously nice and fake. They basically expected cashiers to say "HELLO AND WELCOME TO TIM HORTON'S" with a huge retarded grin on their faces whenever a customer entered, which I obviously didn't do. I'm simply incapable of pretending to be nice and peppy like that. It just isn't part of my personality and if I try to force it I end up sounding like an idiot and it's obvious it's an act. And to be honest, even being genuinely nice is hard for me at first. I just don't naturally smile unless something is funny. I don't even smile when I'm happy unless something really awesome happens like I see kittens or something. If I force myself to smile in any other situation it just doesn't work, so even if I'm not trying to be mean, I get the feeling I come across that way. I really wish I wasn't like this.

I'd prefer to work at some place where the people are expected to act nice and polite but in a dignified and genuine way, not too intensely. Like receptionists or people who work at bookstores or coffee shops. That I could do. But most of those jobs seem hard to get. I'm pretty sure you need some sort of degree to be a receptionist, or at least be in school for something related to the field.

I'm considering applying to a bookstore but don't have my hopes up. The only big one is far from my house, and all the small ones are unlikely to be hiring because they're so small they probably have like 1-2 people working there at a time, maybe 5 people working there in total who are already in established full-time positions. Plus, I do like to read but haven't read that many books since I read so slowly. There happens to be a small sci-fi/fantasy bookstore in a location that couldn't be more perfect, and that's the genre I normally read. But I don't even want to get my hopes up and apply there since I'm almost sure they're full. Come to think of it, I probably haven't read enough of any other genre of books to work at one and properly advise customers or anything, so the whole bookstore thing is probably a bad idea.

So I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any good idea where I might apply? I've been to craigslist but most of the retail/sales positions are for those types of fast-food jobs that mostly want peppy teenagers. I wish there existed jobs that didn't involve much customer service but didn't require degrees. I wouldn't want to work in a factory.

Congrats Crashyy I doubt I would have survived that! When I was first learning to drive, I took the wrong turn off the interstate and ended up at the FBI (which was recently built with its own on/off ramps). I didn't know how to turn around lol so I broke down and was crying in front of the guards. I still get really nervous if I take a wrong turn. Dealing with a bunch of different buses and routes would give me an anxiety attack!

Maeni Sorry Mr.T is such a jerk to you. I tip my hat to you for being able to continue being his friend (if I've understood the relationship clearly )

Erii What's making you anxious? Is it a female exam? Are you afraid of what they might discover?
I don't share that anxiety primarily because I just don't go. I can't get Cancer if a Doctor doesn't find it and tell me, right?
I hope you feel better soon!

My rant is that I still feel yucky. I found my thermometer and I have a very slight fever (just under 100). I'm also extremely sleepy and I've slept most of the day away.
I did manage to clean out my car. But I told hubby yesterday that we can take his car for this trip if it will be easier. He always does surgery on Tuesday and he's on his feet all day and comes home thoroughly exhausted. If we take my car, he has to wait for me to go shopping, then we have to fill up my tires then put the ozone machine in my car and take it out after 4 hours (I think he said).
That might be too much of a hassle for him today. It's nearly 7PM and he still isn't home yet.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Erii What's making you anxious? Is it a female exam? Are you afraid of what they might discover?
I don't share that anxiety primarily because I just don't go. I can't get Cancer if a Doctor doesn't find it and tell me, right?
I hope you feel better soon!

nope, just a normal check up. You put some stupid useless gown on, they take blood pressure, give you a flu shot, ask how you are doing, stuff like that. I'm mostly unnecessarily worried about them weighing me. Specifically that. I'm not overweight and on the outside I look normal but I'm just so nervous and self conscious, I hate it. Last time they said I might have thyroid problems, which my father and both of my aunts on his side have hypothyroidism. I don't want to have to get my blood drawn and tested for that -o- (I avoided it last time) ahhhahfohsadf;dsa

Originally Posted by Erii

Ugh. I'm looking for someone else who shares this anxiety. I have my yearly doctors appointment (it's just like a general physical thing) Monday which I have been freaking out about since a few days ago. (Worrying about it since June actually). I hate hate hate it so much ugh, i just feel like asdfghjkl about it and it's so dumb! It's all I can think (well more technically, worry) about. On top of that, I'm sick. I feel congested, I have a bad cough and I have a tough time breathing, on top of my asthma; which is most disheartening because this time of year is the time when I've had to go to the hospital for it.0
I've been home all day just feeling like shit on so many levels .___.

I know that feeling. I don't go for physicals because I'd be so afraid of them and wouldn't want anyone to see me naked unless it was someone I wanted to in a sexual way. Most people say "they're professional, it's just a doctor" but they're still a human, my subconscious doesn't know the difference. I don't care how many naked bodies they see every day, I still don't like it.

A few years ago I had a breast lump and after about a year, finally went to the doctor. I was too embarrassed even to tell my parents or anyone but my boyfriend, so I waited until my parents went on holiday and booked the appointment. I'd never even been to the doctor before, except for a child's doctor when I was a kid, but knew which one my family used. It was the scariest thing ever to have to phone to book the appointment, especially when the receptionist asked what it was for and I had to say "a breast lump" and she didn't hear me so I had to repeat it. I booked the appointment for that very day because I wanted to just get it over with, missed the bus and had to call them to say I couldn't make it, and the receptionist got mad at me. A few hours later I got a call from my grandmother, panicking because the doctor's office had phoned her because they didn't know who I was since I'd never been there before, and we have the same last name, and she wanted to know what was wrong with me. When I finally went there a few days later it wasn't so bad. The doctor was a nice, easy-going relatively young female and made me feel a bit better. The breast exam was still one of the scariest experiences of my life though, since no one besides myself had ever even seen my breasts and I was extremely embarrassed. She basically said right away that it's nothing to worry about, just a fiberadenoma, so after that appointment both stresses were gone and I was more relieved than I've ever been.

I'm so <insert f-word here>ing sick and tired of this <insert random expletive here> politics that's infecting every social networking site and IRC that I'm ready to <insert f-word here>ing take a <insert f-word here>ing break from the entire <insert f-word here>ing Internet until all of this <insert f-word here>ing <insert random expletive here> is over with.