I have been lucid dreaming for a long time, over 50 years, since I was a child. My experience of dreaming has changed, but moreso, my awareness of awakeness.

The experience of the world while awake, especially in the last 10 years, has appeared increasingly unreal and phantasmagorical. I am not diagnosed as abnormal psychologically and am a fully functional human being with a career and two kids in college, but honestly, most people are living their lives as if they are in a dream of their own making. I see human existence as a huge charade. People mock up every aspect of their personalities and convince themselves that it is real.

Now I feel that I am ready to die although I am only 58 years old. It does not scare me at all, in fact it is quite delightful. As I feel myself slipping into the dreamworld, I feel the false parts of my nature slip away and I flow into a pure state of pleasurable ecstatic energy. I switch into this state in seconds, even with my eyes open.

I would like to hear from people who have had similar experiences. Do you feel close to death? Does it feel delightful? Do you feel that it may be connected in some way to lucid proficiency?

JJ