Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Some apocalyptic kind of scenario, muddy and populated by dangerous monsters. I encounter Pedro Pascal and while we are hiding and trying to escape some dragon like creature, we start making out. He is wearing a white shirt that is too immaculate for this scenario, I put my hand under it and then towards his pants. It gets serious, but the last thing I remember is me holding his dick before we see a drone outside in the sky, then other lights and again the dragon dark silhouette in the distance. Then dragon comes closer and is surrounded by orbs with lights. I comment how unusual that is and then a bunch of dinosaurs stampedes from nearby towards us, followed by a T-rex.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I think I am in Brussels wiith some acquaintances. I learn that Sevelina has come out as gay and I am happy for her, but also wonder why she still doesn't talk to me.
We come accross a group of street performers, illusionists, and they are inviting people to join some indoor show nearby. I am dragged along with the group and we attend the show, which strangely involves computers. So their trick seems more like hacking than a magic trick and I am sure it is some scam. Also, only people without basic IT skills could not see through that. I sneak into their backstage to have a word with them and ask for a refund, but once they realize I am onto them, they disappear quickly through a back door and lock it. Then my friends join me and say the front door is closed, so we are basically trapped, After some struglle we knock one door down and look for them outside, but they are gone.

With an undefined friend, as a passenger in his car. We are in the middle of a forest. He calls Carlos, saying he leaves nearby, to ask if we can drop by. I say he doesn't want us there, because I had asked once if I could come for a visit and he had said no. But my friend is convinced he will not say no and after a long conversation on the phone, he manages to get a yes. But he only says he is bringing me along after the yes and I notice that Carlos gets upset. Not that he doesn't like me, on the contrary, but his wife is so very jealous of me. We drive there, it is an old palace covered in traditional Portuguese tiles, white and blue, depicting historical scenes. I am surprised. Carlos looks very tanned and fit, He is just wearing shorts, no shirt. His wife is a very average looking lady, short, with glasses and unnatractive hair, but she seems welcoming, or at least she is making an effort to be welcoming. There is something odd about how simple they look and the place they live in. They take us over a terrace with potted plants and a couple pets. They actually live in a much less fancy area of this palace and I realize they are the keepers and not the owners. Carlos is strangely being very open with me, very handsy and I fear that his wife might indeed get jealous. But so far, she keeps smiling. Then they takes us to the part of the palace which houses some foundation and a museum. I say I'd love to see the interiors and they take us first to inside the museum, not their home. There, I get lost from them in the visiting crowd. I bump into my friends Nuno and Ana, I say hi and they say hi back but they don't stop walking. I bump with them again further ahead and poke Nuno and say hi again. Again they reply but keep moving, looking a bit annoyed with my insistence, so I let them go. Then at some room is some minister presiding over some official ceremony and he adresses some navy officers and they salute. There are also some navy and army people outside, doing the museum tour and at that moment they all stop in their tracks to salute, leaving everyone else confused if they should wait or walk past them and carry on. The museum is very random and it has stuff about Portuguese navigators and explorers, but also some part about a dude who was an actor and decided at an old age to become a bullfighter and married some Spanish royalty lady and there are photos of their wedding and a real size photo of the lady in her wedding dress with a several meter long tail.

Now with Riverstone and some new friends, but I think I am still on that palace/museum, entering a new area that is a bit more surreal. I lose sight of them, and go from room to room looking for them and I find a kind of baby nursery, with a few different rooms for kids of different ages. Then end up at another room which is crowded. People are standing in a long line with bags, like an airport security check place. Suddenly I worry that I am not wearing a mask in the middle of this packed crowd, so I look for an exit. Outside I find myself in the city of Porto. Right in front of me on the sidewalk, I see a dog in need of help, but he growls when I approach him. So I let him go, feeling helpless. I call Riverstone on my phone but he doesn't answer. I feel left alone and angry that my friends didn't care for me and haven't even called in to check on me. Then I meet some tall handsome stranger who says he can get me out of here and I am curious, so I follow him. He takes me inside the facility I came from again, but to some different empty area with wild technology. He speaks to some bodyless voice that guides us through some procedure. Him and some other guys that just appeared there, put on some weird looking helmets. They look like legendary nordic warrior gods. They offer me one helmet too and say to stand by their side and that I might get dizy. And I do. I fall flat on my back and can't move, but I am aware. I feel one of the guys laying me down on some bed and making me comfortable, he touches my clothes and for a second I fear he might rape me, so I flinch and regain some control. He assures me it is ok and I trust. We all need to be in physical contact for some reason, so they interlace their feet with mine and for a few seconds I feel between worlds: I can feel my body laying in bed (real bed? or dream bed?) with them around me, but I also already see the other side, the street where I last was with my friends before we entered the palace/museum/whatever. Slowly I wake up there and I am laying on a bench and I spot my friends sitting on another bench. I wanna hug them, but I am also feeling angry. Riverstone says they looked for me, but the phones weren't working and they also got lost on that surreal place. I think he may be saying the truth. Then there is some kind of parade on the street in front of us. It is either some wedding or a funeral. It is festive but also gloomy and it is hard to distinguish. Night falls and I spot some lights in the skies. First is just a pair of orbs swirling, then they form shapes like minimalistic angels or fairies and one comes down straight at me. People in the parade freak out and run in all directions. I freeze, not knowing if this light thing will hit me like a lightning or not. But it just flies-by like saying hello to me or goodbye and up it goes and disappears and I feel it was the guys who brought me over to my reality, just saying goodbye before they leave.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


I am a college student and I hit and run a man and left him bleeding to death on the road. My thought was that he was going to die anyway, before help arrived and so I rationalized that fleeing wouldn't ruin even more lives, namely mine and of those around me who would suffer immensely if I was convicted of manslaughter. So I decided to run away and pretend I had nothing to do with it and act normally. I was absolutely sure I could pull it off, even when the police appeared on campus and started investigating the students.
I am heading to the library and the detectives are in the corridor talking to people and my paranoid mind believes a couple of them seem to be watching every movement I make and my facial expressions. I do get a bit nervous and I bump into a table and throw an ashtray to the ground, but I am already out of their sight. At the library I steal some chips from some kid who has a bag of chips open on his table. He doesn't even flinch. Wonder if that's because he is my friend or he just fears me. I go meet a friend at the most far back table and he is playing a computer game with cars and he is very proud that he managed to fit a car with a long hood into the back of a truck cabin and make a weird truck trailer, just to prove his smart and ability to bend the rules and codes of the game. I couldn't care less and cars actually trigger me at the moment, but I engage with his enthusiasm, to not raise suspicion. Later on I meet a group of friends, who are all very shocked with the events. One of the girls (looks my old friend Mara) says she would have no mercy for whomever the killer is. I feel very uncomfortable that I am the person and imagining if it is ever found out.
We go for a walk outside the campus and we pass by the road where the accident happened, but they don't know that. There is no longer any sign of what happened, besides a patch of sand the authorities spread to soak up the blood. But my friends don't know, they have no idea where the accident happened, so "Mara" asks what is this for and I swiftly say probably to cover some oil spill. They look at me a bit strangely and I say I am just guessing. We arrive at some snack-bar / pub by the side of the road, where they like to go, and the cops and detectives are gathered there. This makes me anxious. There is also Master Harry, a Scott who is like the keeper of the campus. He spots us and invite us along. But my friends feel super interested in talking to the cops. The owner of this place is a surfer and has a long board decorating the place, above our heads and one of the detectives apparently also surfs so they engage in conversation regarding the long board. I am not interested.
Then the older detective throws me a bate, by teasing me about a plant cared by the bar owner. I am not the least interested. He asks me stuff like if I can identify it, if I'd like to have one too and what I think about this guy managing to have one in this climate. And I am like "why should I care?". Then he shows me it is a pineapple and asks me if I shouldn't I be more enthusiastic about plants. I realize he already knows too much about me and my interests, which means I am a suspect. I do have a greenhouse that I care for meticulously at my parents house and I care a lot about plants, just not in this context with the stress I am feeling. I am seeing my life going down the drain. I don't know how they know, but they already suspect it was me, and are just trying to catch me. I think about my plants dying if I am arrested and I feel extremely sad for that, more than anything else.

Back to previous dream. I am not caught yet, but I am going crazy with the guilt and duplicity. I have to deal with several people related to the victim and the feeling that I am keeping this secret from them and they would hate me if they knew the truth is consuming me. I am wishing to go to some island where nobody knows me and start a new life.
I am staying at some pension of a lady who isn't particularly fond of me. She complains of something I supposedly did in the kitchen and asks me to clean it, but I am relieved to know it is just a silly thing I didn't even do. She has no clue that some other night I was drunk and peed in the kitchen. So I go look into the fridge and instead of cleaning whatever, I steal something, like some cheese and bread to make a sandwich. Then I hear her talking to her daughter, who just arrived from school and is complaining about something. Her mother says "well, you're not doing anything, because her mom is Carolina Herrera and nobody dares to upset that family at this moment, because of the terrible thing that happened to her dad."
They are talking about the man I killed. I feel guilty again and run to my room. The room looks like my mom's office and there are tigers outside of the window trying to come in, so I rush to shut all the openings and lock the door.

At my mom's house, It's night and I look outside. I spot a UFO, just a white light orb dancing around at distance. Then I spot another one, static and the first one moves towards the still one and then they both move away. During the day I spot one again in the sky. I start seeing them a lot. One day I spot one very small just hovering a street. I now am able to spot them all over the streets, spying on people, unaware of them. Only I seem to be able to see them. with the help of some friends, I capture one. It is the size of a basketball and it loses the ability to camouflage when offline. I show to my friends, who believed me but had never seen one themselves. I teach my friends how to spot them, and we can see them in the sky, in strategic places, positioned in geometric clusters. They form ice crystal like shapes with arms connecting them inside pentagonal areas. These bigger structures seem to be regulating the climate or other purposes. The little ones at the street level are watching us on a daily basis.

Back to the dream. Me and my friends are now a rebel force meeting in secret and collecting data on these UFOs, trying to understand what they are here for. One day, I am on a bus ride with one of this friends and we spot one in the sky, after a long time not seeing them. We wondered if they found a new way to cloak or had simply disappeared. Then we see two jets flying on each side of the orb but at some point leaving and the orb staying fixed in a position. Me and friend point to it but no one else seems to see it. As I point to it, I feel like I am pushing a button and the orb opens up into a square of squares of different size, like a virtual keyboard. On top rows are bigger blue squares and bellow are smaller red squares. So I do what I did before and also pretend to click them as if they are buttons. I push a random combination of keys. The UFO/keyboard disappears and immediately strange things happen, like some cars on the road going bananas as if they lost their electronics, and going over the rails and crashing. We rush to meet with the others and tell them what happened. They are a bit incredulous, but I explain maybe all orbs are programmable but we need to crack the code and see which combinations do what. Then the girl who usually brings us food comes in looking scared. Says the building is surrounded and they threatened her. Everyone wonders how they found us and I say I actually told them and it is part of a bigger plan, but they think I am just crazy and are in shock that I did that. I seem to have a really intricate plan, but I wake up before finding out.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

A Rinpoche I don't know is visiting Portugal. He says the Rinpoches house needs to be emptied fast and they are looking for some place where to store furniture and books. I offer to store the books but say I have no covered place to store the furniture. He argues it just needs to be a cemented floor, no need for cover cause they can use a tarp. But they also don't know how long it will be, so I keep saying no, afraid of the weather changes. Anyway, this Rinpoche hands me one book as an example and I treat it as a precious treasure.

Attending some VIP award ceremony for which I bought a ticket. I go to the main entrance of the venue, I look fabulous and confident, but the door keepers tell me the entrance is for guests only or nominees. The bought tickets have to enter through a lateral door. There is a mother and daughter who also get denied entrance and I join them in looking for the secondary door. I try to cheer them up by showing enthusiasm and not upset with the setback. I have some big props/ jewels I have to carry in my hands and I am sick of it and considering leaving them behind. They tell me not to do it.

At an underground bunker in the USSR. An accident with grenades exploding at the entrance reveals our location to some team outside looking for us. They enter through an opening on the back. I resist but all others surrender, so I also give up. They subject us to indoctrination treatment, make us watch videos about the great motherland. I laugh and do not allow the brainwashing. The others decided to play along, figure they will suffer less. I also consider they might put me in sleep deprivation and so on, so I also consider playing along, as it is naive of them to think we can actually believe their bullshit after watching some videos.

Crossing some station and I become lucid. Drop my backpack, take my shoes and socks, open a door to another dream. There is a garden and a nice party with beautiful dancers like nymphs. There are a lot of white lotuses with purple orbs glowing in the center. Up close the orbs look like a white bubble of a thin membrane with the purple one inside. I put my hand through the external one and pick the purple one, which actually looks like a molecule with several atoms and bridges, also made from the thin membrane. They start to deflate but I make them turn into a sort of purple lotus flower and then I eat it. Tastes like raw cabbage. That was sort of pointless. Look around and think of lying a bit and decide what to do next. Think about my guru but get distracted by Henri, which I haven't seen in years but is now here in a suit and tie. I call him, he doesn't even notice I am there. I wake up cause I am snoring loud.

With my mom, I think in my home because there is a fireplace burning. I leave her for a moment in the living room and when I come back she threw a lot of absurd things in the fire, like a can where I keep coffee capsules, a wooden box and a bunch of unopened yogurts. I can't save the yogurts because they melted away, but manage to recover the rest before it burns. She has no recollection of having done that. I surely didn't, so then we get really concerned about her mental health.

I am a boy playing piano on stage at a public recital. Some colleagues trolled me and put something inside the piano so when I reach some notes it sounds really bad. I have to stop and open the piano and find a saxofone inside. I show it to the audience, they show sympathy for me, but my teacher who also despises me, doesn't allow me to sit back and play again and announces the next kid to perform. I am revolted. I try to cope but can't sit in the audience. I sneak out and head for some beautiful deserted place. Seems like we are in an island. I see ocean, a bay, but also a mountain and chose to go there. Just go first to my room pick my bag so I can go there, but I can't find the bag. Outside sitting in a car is Tatiana but she pretends not to see me.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At a department store. Going through different sections, checking clothes, then latest electronics and end up in the music and film area. Not looking for anything specific, but remember to take a look for Björk albums, since I don't buy cds for years. I find a cd which I didn't know, and check the inlay booklet. Looks nice, but I think it is one of those Björk albums which I don't particularly like and I wonder if I am willing to pay whatever it costs. But there is no price tag, so I need to go to the check-out with it.

Then I have a FA and think I am in my bedroom. It is very dark, but once again I see this little purplish orb moving around the room. It is beautiful, but it also makes me feel uneasy. Since last time my teacher told me to swallow it, my first instinct was to do so again. So when it got near the bed, I opened my mouth widely and swallowed it. It went totally dark and then I woke up or entered a dream, I am not sure.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am on top of a mountain when I witness an amazing out-of-this-world happening. First some kind of ball of light appears in the sky, surrounded by a kind of dark vortex around it. It starts growing and causing some disturbances on the ground. Then some other type of energy in the shape of stormy clouds seem to appear to counteract its effect. Then a giant alien being appears in the sky and the energy ball grows even stronger and starts sucking some things towards it and disintegrates them. I can clearly feel reality fading away as it enters that light. I'm right at the edge of its pull and I feel it touching me deep inside and showing me the “reality” after everything I know disappears. It is the end, nothing will remain. I feel an emptiness and a sadness beyond words. I am a river of tears in the shape of a soul. But the counteracting force seems to be gaining hold and preventing it from moving as fast as it would. I don't know what this means. I still feel it's the end of everything today, but now I feel the urge to warn people. So I descend from the top of the mountain and I spread the news high and low that the world is coming to an end. The people closer to me do not believe me, even seeing the giant luminous ball in the sky growing by the minute. How can they deny it? I don't get it! But many others believe the same thing I do and the news is spreading fast. I then encounter people abandoning shopping, all of a sudden realizing that they don't need any of that since they will stop existing soon and then realizing that it was true anyway at any other moment of their existence. We were always going to die, we just didn't know when. I feel what they feel, they too are a river of tears.
I feel the urge to find my friend Zilla. I don't know where she is and instead I go to her parents. Her father opens the door. He invites me in. He already knows what's coming. He says I won't have time to see Zilla, as she is far away, but that he has a gift she wanted to give me. I see it right away: she had bought two awesome white samurai swords, identical, one for each of us. They are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I don't even dare to touch them. I tell him to let them stay together as they are now on a shelf. I will never touch them, there's no point. I am happy just to have seen them.