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    Lucid Dreams

    1. 13 Apr: Going to university in a zombie world and lucid fun in London

      by , 04-13-2021 at 09:03 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      In a post-apocalyptic zombie world. Clearly inspired by some episodes of "the Walking Dead: world beyond". I am traveling in a van with some friends I made along the way. Nobody knows exactly where we are going but we expect to stay together, until one of the girls says she wants to go to some university nearby and that she studied for the admission exams and wants us to take her there. We go. The procedure is a bit strange as each candidate goes to a booth with one person that interviews them and hands them the test and they do it all in front of the family and friends who sit in front at some row of chairs. Looks more like a trial. She is asked questions about her background. She is asked about her parents and she says they died because of the zombies. The examiner replies that's the case for the majority of the applicants, so being orphaned doesn't give her any real advantage. But then she tells about our group experience during our travel, hoping they'll be impressed with the courage she showed and the skills she developed. Instead, the examiner looks at us and makes some not so unveiled comment about us not being appropriate material to even enter the premises of such school and wonders if she is fit for the school. But eventually gives her the chance to take the test and she scores really high, so she is accepted. The whole group is heartbroken because now we need to leave her behind and we don't know if we'll ever see her again. We depart without her.

      I am in the outskirts of London, waiting for a tube that is never coming. I finally take a bus and I am looking at some notes to figure out where I am and where I am going, but can't really figure out. I check how much money I have and gather it and stuff it in some hidden inner pocket of my bag for safety. I am going through some shitty neighborhoods and people on board of the bus also don't look so friendly. Some weird crazy guy starts harassing people and a kid on his mom's lap his scared and says so to his mom, but his mom says to suck it up, because taxis are awfully expensive. She mentions a Ł96 cost to get home, which I find absurd, but makes me wonder if I could afford taking a taxi considering those prices. I find my phone on my bag and think I can use the gps and maps to find my way. Then I see an area that looks more touristic and I decide to hop off the bus and just make a plan from there. I go down some narrow street that has gorgeous view over a neighborhood by the Thames bank. Ground level brick houses with lots of flowers on the windows and doors. I want to take pics but I can't. The things I want to photograph keep disappearing from the screen of my phone and the camera always points somewhere else. I break the phone in half and start panicking as pieces start to fall off and the image on the screen fades away. Now I am lost and with no gps any more. I freak out as I see the evening coming to an end and getting dark.
      But then realize I am just dreaming and I don't have to be afraid. I tell myself to just have fun with it. So I keep walking to a very posh area of the city, with high fashion shops, fancy hotels and I decide to indulge. I go to a very high end mall and start looking for a dress worthy of a princess, but immediately everybody looks at me and says I don't belong there. I am wearing jeans and some shitty sweater. I don't care. I see an event where some lady full of plastic surgeries, is on some type of arena with spotlights and announcing they'll have a fashion show of the most beautiful and elegant ladies and outfits and I barge in and start walking around like a model in that arena. People are shocked and she is furious. She tries to push me away but I push her instead and she falls on the ground. I say I am sorry, that I did not intent to harm her and she insults me in every possible way, so I keep mocking them all by continuing to catwalk in silly ways. Then I decide to keep going. I don't get the dress I was looking for at first, as I am afraid will lose lucidity while distracted dressing and undressing. Also, I can simply summon some outfit. But I am no longer interest in that. Instead I go outside and see some kind of Carnival fair and I want to enjoy that instead. But it is so very dark, the sky is covered in black dense clouds that threaten to rain and besides, the darkness is making me lose lucidity. So I decide to make the sky blue and sunny. It doesn't happen right away, so I point my hands to the clouds and start pushing them away. It is getting a little bit clearer but is taking too long. So I project a vortex that sucks it all up and it works so much faster. The sky is clear in seconds and I feel proud of it. But then the vortex shatters like a mirror and all the sharp pieces come tumbling down over the fair. People scream in panic and all I can figure out is getting inside a mini car for 1 person, that I see parked in front of me. I take cover inside and hear the rumble of all the debris hitting the car. Then I get out. A couple of girls is rummaging through the debris and I check out what or whom they are looking for. Even they don't seem to know or don't want to say, but I find a bag with some dolls and clothes and ask if that's what they are looking for. Some clothes are damaged but the dolls look ok, just covered in dust. But their reaction is strange, they no longer want the dolls. I give up. Meanwhile not much to see here anymore, so I keep walking and enter some palace like building and rub my hands to keep lucidity going. It is all decorated like for Xmas and some gentleman gather in a circle chatting, with drinks on their hands. They also look at me like "who's this?" and some butler comes to me, very gently asking me to leave, as this is a private club. I declare I couldn't care less and that I am up to no good. I spot an hallway where they set up a table with all kinds of goodies and I go there. The butler is in panic and calls me "Please, please, you must leave. Don't touch that food." And I stop in front of it, defiantly, and stretch my arm to grab something and just watch his panic growing and also his inability do deal with me. I eat some hors d'oeuvres and I find it repulsive. It's some kind of pickled vegetables, but nasty. I say "How can people like this shit?" And then the butler goes from panicky to insulted. "This is a very expensive selection of fine Japanese pickled daikon and vegetable sushi." Then he tells me the names of each piece and that they must be eaten in a certain way and order. Then he goes on exemplifying. Eats a slice, by first removing a detachable part in the center and then the rest of it. He makes a face of delight and sounds of pleasure, like he is having an orgasm and I laugh. Then he challenges me to try it exactly as he says. But unfortunately I wake up.

      Updated 04-13-2021 at 09:07 AM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    2. 31 Mar: High school friends, spirit attack, lucid explorations and meeting my teacher

      by , 03-31-2021 at 01:00 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At a high school, but I feel like just a visitor. Billie Eilish gave a concert there the previous day. Now I meet Claudia, the girl who kinda gave me the push to discover Billie, and I just realized she looks like her a lot and she even died her hair like her. She has a serious crush and I recall my own crush for Björk when I was her age. But I also like Billie and I have a song stuck in my mind and start singing it out loud. So Claudia joins me in it. She is also a singer, but like me, our paths took us different ways from a musical career and I think about how that is sad but also ok, because not everybody can be talented in the same way or doing the same thing.
      I then meet Zilla, Licas and other girlfriends from high school and they join us. We talk, we sing and we do something like an homage or invocation of someone who passed away. Then we go to the cafeteria and while we are snacking, the girls look at me scared, saying that my whole face his covered in red scars. I look in a mirror and I look like someone burned my face all around with a flaming iron. But I don't feel any pain. Then the girl to my side also shows the marks and the others freak out and try to distance themselves from us, suggesting we did something that caused that. But I am sure I didn't. Then I see the lines showing up also on their faces and someone suggests it is the spirit of the person we invoked, and that it means she never forgave us for some event in which she felt abandoned by us.
      We decide to leave and take a bus home, but as we go across the school I notice how strange it looks, like it is some medieval tavern inside a cave and I get lucid.
      I spot a slit on the cave ceiling through which sunlight shines in. I fly up and go through the slit, but I am taken to another cave, bigger, more open to the outside. It has a sandy beach inside and people having fun there. A dog jumped from a rock above and I worry that he got hurt as he fell in a zone with more rocks and not sand, but he gets up ok and the owners laugh and say he is fine. I fly higher up and enjoy the beauty of the rock formations. Then I get really outside and it is a canyon with really amazing shapes. Then I fly over a countryside landscape and I see all sorts of natural things but also crazy things, like 4 horses doing a tik tok dance, but mostly just beautiful landscape with mountains, small rural villages. And then I reach a barrier of clouds above me and when I go through it, there is nothing above, just the outer layers of the atmosphere and all of a sudden I feel scared with the idea of just floating in a totally empty space. So I go down. I land on a village and rub my hands to increase lucidity. I wonder what to do and I think about seeing my teacher. But when I do, I never get to see him. Still, I see a hotel and I go in to see if he's there. Someone does call my name but it is some old friend from Italy or France (not sure whom). He is gathered around a table with some people both in casual clothes but also some in navy and military uniforms. He asks me to join them. At the top of the table they have like a poster with a letter from the Queen of England, who is like their virtual guest of this lunch. They were invited and the food is all they can eat, paid by the Queen. I wonder what's the occasion, but I just say thanks and leave. Not my goal and I notice my strategy didn't work. So I go outside again, to rethink what to do, but lucidity fades and I wake up.


      I am at some kind of event on a tent. Some familiar faces sitting on yoga mats and cushions and also on seats disposes in an amphitheater to the back of the tent. I go outside for a bit of fresh air and give back a mat to a girl who borrowed me hers. I think it was Alicja. But some other girl comes to me a bit upset that I mixed the mats and that this one is hers instead. I apologize and as I talk to them I spot my teacher at the end of the road leading to the entrance of the tent. He is being inconspicuous and he is wearing a mask, but I spot him. I think he sees me too, but I pretend I haven't or that I didn't make a bit deal out of it. Then I lose sight of him. I go inside the tent again and the organizers are asking people to sit at some empty chairs at the top of the amphitheater area, to distribute people more homogeneously. Then I spot my teacher sitting there and some empty seats next to him. So I decide to go seat near him. I pass in front of him and sit two chairs away, because between us there is one guy. I only take a brief look, when passing in front of him and take a small bow to acknowledge his presence. Then I sit there quietly, sucking a lollipop. He also plays it cool, but once the whatever shows starts, he keeps making quick stares at me, so I also look once and we cross eyes and we just lose ourselves in it.
    3. 28 Mar: Creepy voyeur hostel manager and admiring my own mental constructions

      by , 03-28-2021 at 07:38 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Spending some vacations abroad, staying at a hostel. The room is pretty basic and has a futon on the floor. I am undressing and snuggling in the sheets and I slightly touch myself, not even a big deal. But the manager barges in my room, yelling that I can't masturbate in this hostel and I have to leave now. Then he goes around the corridor, where all other guests at at their doors with curiosity, shaming me saying he has video and photos of it and I am like "how?". And then notice there is a camera in the ceiling in front of the bed, as if it was ok to film guests undressing and all. I refuse to g«be embarrassed and I confront him with his brutal violation of the guests privacy. Now, all the guests are looking at him like "she has a point". I admit what I did and that there is nothing wrong because I was alone in my room and he is the creep who is watching people in their rooms. In the end he does not kick me out, even brings in workers to attend all my needs and allows me to stay for as long as I want and I demand he shows me and deletes the tape. But I don't want to stay anymore. I actually saw the guy getting an erection while I confronted him, so he is nuts, but I need to stay one more night at least.
      Then I meet some friends at a sightseeing point, just outside the hostel and I am totally amazed how the landscape is a perfect mix of the view from my mom's house to my hometown and some totally different town somewhere in Eastern Europe with gothic bridges, palaces and gothic churches. The superposition is so perfectly done that I marvel at my own brain capacity to come up with such brilliant construction. I am half-lucid at this point. Then there is some heavy rain and flooding and I lose all lucidity and wake up.

      Updated 03-31-2021 at 07:49 PM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    4. 27 Mar: Lamb's head, making out with Seth Rogen, demon, semi-lucid explorations

      by , 03-27-2021 at 11:01 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Some avant-garde show or ritual where some guy goes around defying the audience to dance inspired by what they are watching. Many on the audience seem to be professional dancers by the way they move. Then someone starts passing a lamb head as a prop. But the lamb head is alive and I feel horrified, but not like scared, but worried for the "animal". So I kidnap the lamb's head and run away with it. Take it to the vet and they say it needs surgery to survive. After we get some more info about the origin of the animal, the vets tell me I need to go to Africa and get something that will heal the animal. Once in Africa, in some remote village, I need to pass a door with two guards. I try seducing them, but they don't flinch. Then ask me for a million dollars to go in. I explain the situation and say it is to save an animal's life and they reduce to half a million, which is still ridiculous but I agree to and they let me in. I then steal whatever was inside the guarded house and return to the vet. The lamb is now able to get its surgery and regrow a body. Later I get a call from the vet saying the animal is doing great.


      I married to some rich family, but I have this feeling I did it against my will and feel unhappy. I am walking with my family through some hipster area of old docks now turned into restaurants and bars. By the other side of the river I see Manhattan. I am walking ahead of them, making a little dance waving a white shawl in the air, feeling empty inside. Then I encounter Zilla by chance and she walks with me. She spots some vegan fast food and invites me to come along. I do and let go of whomever I was with before. Riverstone is there too and although it's mid morning, they both wanna eat lunch. At first I say they are crazy but then I give in to the idea and ask for an Impossible Burger. While we sit at a table, I get notified that I have an exam to renew my driving license renewal in a day or two and I panic because I wasn't aware and haven't studied shit.

      I am dating Seth Rogen. I am half lucid, so at first I feel like "Why didn't I chose some hunkier guy to fool around with?". But he is extremely sweet and I actually start feeling the hots for him. We're sitting on a bed or couch, making out, and when I kiss him he gets really excited, in a very adorable innocent way that makes me want him more. He starts reaching out to his pants and I am totally into it. But then I notice that there is another bed to our side and two girls are sitting on it, watching us and that disturbs me. Worse, I spot a red demon under their bed and see that he is about to snatch one of the girls, so I jump to grab her and rescue her. The demon gets pissed and starts projecting long arms, claws and tentacles and weird heads coming from under the sheets, without ever leaving the bed area. I beat him as hard as I can until he kinda retreats and I sunk into the wall.

      My mom is with her friend Paula. We are at an ice cream shop and I look for a vegan flavor. There is one for the stupid price of almost 25€. I complain a lot to the seller and he seems not to understand my complaint. Then I realize that's the price for a whole bucket of like 5 to 10 lt and I apologize and ask how much for a cone with a ball. I then follow my mom and Paula to a car. They didn't get ice cream so Paula is offering something else like crackers to my mom and ask if I want some to. Then we go get my dog Hachi and Paula goes get some other dog like animal on a leash to accompany us on a walk, but it is some dog-like alien with green body parts. I insist that she keeps a good distance from me and Hachi, because Hachi already reacts bad to other dogs, let alone alien dogs, but she keeps forgetting and getting to close for comfort. One time they almost get into a fight, so I give up on this walk and we take the dogs away. Later on I accompany them again to some kind of old garage where mom is talking to the owner and some guy offers us crackers and cheese. I am giving it a try when my Sensei enters the place. First he pretends not to see me while he talks to the rest of the people, clearly nervous about approaching me. I also pretend not to have seen him in the first seconds, but then gather courage and I say hi and give him a hug. He feels relieved and actually a bit overjoyed, so then he gropes my breast and pretends it is by accident, but I know it wasn't. I ask about the classes, he says it all stopped because of the pandemic, but that he misses it a lot. I say I do to. I wonder why he doesn't ask me why I left the classes way before the pandemic started.
      Music starts playing, some Latino rhythms like salsa and he and everyone else start dancing. I don't want him to invite me to dance, so I leave through a back door into a backyard and I see my mom is already there with some new age "kumbaya" group. They seem harmless, so I let her be. Then they invite us to go on a boat trip and I start drifting from the dream.
      Probably had a very brief episode of FA and felt my bed shake like there was an earthquake, but that brought me back to the dream on the boat. I laugh and tell my mom that when the boat started the engines, it coincided with me feeling my bed in RL shaking and she laughs.

      I am again semi-lucid, back on land at some ground floor mall at some private condominium, but the atmosphere is dark and heavy and I see no one around. I also feel watched by agents or demons whom I know to be present in the dream, ready to attack me. I walk through the corridors and sense a presence following me. I do evasive maneuvers until I find an exit and run around the building to try and see me stalker. It is some shady guy who disappears again. I see a lady walking away with the alien dog from Paula. I fly upwards to assess my surroundings and then land in some university campus, which I find lovely. Each faculty seems to have a theme, for instance, literature classes take place in a mini medieval village, where each house is a classroom and people gather around communal tables to debate topics, instead of facing a teacher. I walk a bit through the narrow streets, the houses are all ground level timber-framed and feel very cozy. At the end of one of the streets there is a bigger building, like and open hangar, but it is a tavern or bar, and the decoration changes completely. It is 60s and cinema inspired. It has the colors and the furniture typical from the 60s and posters of old spy movies on the walls. There is a door leading to the parking lot with a toll booth. A vintage car from the 50s just stopped at the booth and when I approach, a bunch of gangsters come out of it and point guns at me. Turns out I also have a gun and also drop it on them. For some reason they stand down and leave. My cat Yéti comes out of nowhere and I pick him up. Once on the normal city streets, I see my mom's apartment building or a very similar one, but with a few more balconies. I see the details like the tiles on the walls and feel extremely nostalgic about it, to see how detailed it is engraved in my memory. Then I fly upwards and take notice of the rest of the buildings around, think about getting beyond this and do something interesting. I fly higher and higher, until what I see below me is an African plain at sunset, as far as the eye can see. I feel free and relaxed, but my cat Yéti who I am still holding, is getting pretty nervous and wanting to jump, so I look for some place to drop him safely. There is a house floating in the air, no front wall for some reason, so I just go inside. I am planning on resting there for a while, see if Yéti can be left there safely, but the house starts tilting and everything in it slides through the open wall and falls into the void below us. Some old Asian lady comes in from another room, looking surprised to see me and in panic. I only have time to grab Yéti again and I jump into the void to fly away on my terms instead of falling.

      I am in a room talking with BTS and I find them all very nice and smart people. I decide to become their fan and wonder if any of the guys in the band is single, so that I could hang out with. I sit between two of them and one, I think the youngest, immediately leans on my shoulder and gets really close. I was fantasizing about dating one of them, but all of a sudden I feel like he is pushing it a bit too much too soon, so I tell him nicely to back off amd take it easy. The others laugh.
    5. 20 Mar: Rescuing cats, parasites and toxic bugs, superman alter-egos

      by , 03-20-2021 at 11:42 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At a house which appears to be Carla's home. There's my mom and my grandpa along with a bunch other people, as if they all live together there. There is an earthquake and I suggest we get out while it is happening, but my mom points out that grandpa can't get up and walk on his own. So while we're doing our best to lift him, the earthquake stops. People feel like it is ok to stay, but I go check the house and some rooms look dangerously affected, with awful cracks on walls and ceiling. I insist on evacuating everybody and I manage to grab my grandpa on my own over my shoulder and take him away, but then mom and a friend remind me about all the cats that live there and especially like to gather on the rooms that are most damaged. I tell them I will get them all to safety, and I start grabbing them two at a time and putting them in improvised boxes and containers to a safer area of the building, and closing these rooms shut. But there seem to be more and more cats popping up. At some point the corner room that was more damaged, is really coĺapsing and the cats are just there hanging out like totally oblivious of the danger upon them.

      At some modern house with glass walls and straight lines over a grassy hill. There is a bunch of kids that come over for activities and I am somewhat responsible for them. We are playing with a radio broadcaster or similar and I am thirsty so I go drink a glass of water. It tastes horribly and I notice it is orange like it has rust in it. I go check our water source, some kind of well, and it is poisoned by two kinds of dead processionary caterpillars, one of them which is orange and black and I've never seen before. Doesn't seem very safe. Meanwhile I spot a bunch of them on the ground and before the kids or dogs touch them, I rush to pick them all and put them on a bucket. But on doing so, I grab some soil that is infested with different bugs and worms and there are some thin long ones that I think are baby earthworms, until one gets between my fingers and finds a way through my skin. It is so thin and slimy I can't get a hold of it and it enters inside my hand. I can feel it moving and it is exasperating and painful. I go to the doctor immediately and she gives me really grim news saying I just drunk water with a deadly toxin and have inside me the worst parasite that grows the larger of all. She says I have also been bitten twice by a black widow and I'm like "when was that, because I didn't complain about any of that?". She starts me on treatment but says the prospects aren't the best. I cry like a baby and say I'll never again even step outside the safety of a city.

      Me and Riverstone run a little shop with everything from new and used clothes to a books and antiques and we also have a few boxes with stuff for free that people can just take. Some lady is interested in used baby clothes as she can't afford brand new clothes and I am having difficulty in finding it in the middle of the mess the shop is in at the moment. She asks if some stuff she likes can be taken for free and Riverstone says yes, because he is overwhelmed by the excess stock we have, but I think it is very sellable stuff so I say no to her. Meanwhile the lady is waiting regarding the baby clothing and I tell her to come back the next day and I'll have the stuff she wants. That's when I notice she is a little person.
      Then I see some other customer sitting on a stone slab outside where some slug like creatures are sneaking behind him and because of my previous dream with worms, I panic and warn him about it. Still, one of them hooks itself on his back, like a leech. Fortunately we manage to unhook it. Then some stupid ass idiot comes by with a bunch of these worms in a jar, throws them at me and runs away. Everybody freaks out and helps me shake them out of my hair and check if any has latched on my body, but we think I am in the clear.
      I then get possessed and chase that mf down. Turns out it was a girl, she teases me like "so what? what will you do?" and I go full "Kali Ma" on her (Indiana Jones ref) and plunge my hands in her chest ripping her organs out and then to finalize it, I intend to project flames from my mouth, like a dragon, but instead I project hot green vomit on her, like the possessed girl in the Exorcist.
      When things calm down a bit, I sit with Zilla, Vera and a couple other friends at some outdoor café to drink something and relax. There are familiar faces around from my school past. I hear some music that makes me smile. And Vera interprets that I am smiling because I saw a guy on the next table, she assumes I have a crush on. So she takes a photo of him with her cellphone and goes around telling everyone he is my crush. He actually is a guy who bullied me a lot in middle school, his nickname was "ass-bomb" because he once farted in the classroom or something.
      I am fully aware now and tired of silly games so I explain to her what I was smiling at and whom the guy is and decide to go for a walk and do something with my lucidity. The area is like a kasbah, very tight streets with earth-rammed houses and vendors' tents. I soak in the diversity while thinking what to do. I see a few more familiar faces from middle school, another couple bullies for whom I actually feel tenderness, not so much from what they did but just to see them as they were back then, kids who haven't aged. I find it precious that I still keep their faces stored in my memory. Then something odd happens.
      Superman falls from the sky onto some iron structure like the entrance to a train station or something. He seems to struggle to get on his feet, then he is attacked by what seems another superman who looks more like a super butch superwoman, way more muscular than the original, but with a female face. And she beats the shit out of him. Then comes an emo superman, very pale and skinny and scared. He doesn't really do anything, just watches, confused, I am also confused. I decide to fly up where they are, to watch it better and maybe help the real superman, I don't know. But they kinda stop fighting and look at me surprised, like "and who the hell are you?". I feel like they now might pick a fight with me, so I just let go and fly away and let them sort it out.

      I keep flying but now I am actually on a plane over Florida. Instead of landing in the airport, it lands on water but not as an accident, apparently it is an hydroplane. The sky is so bright blue, no clouds, sun is shining bright, wonderful weather and beautiful light. When we land on the water, people are then taken to some water taxis and escorted by jet skis who are there as a backup (they have rafts for taking in people if necessary). I find it a bit too much of a precaution, but I am impressed with the organization. Some kid is looking at me and I smile at him. Most people are families with kids and I feel they are going to Disney World.

      Updated 03-20-2021 at 11:50 AM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , nightmare
    6. 19 Mar: Buddhist Lama and attempting TOTM

      by , 03-19-2021 at 10:41 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      In the countryside, there is a lake and I am staying there with some friends. One of them is apparently developing feelings for me and because I am not interested, I decide to keep my distance from him. Literally, when he is on one side of the lake, I am at the opposite, and every time he tries to reach me, I move away. Our other friend comes to tell me he thinks our friend is depressed and he believes it is because of the recent racism escalation so he wants to throw him some lunch party or something and I find it a bad idea because his problem with him is uncorresponded love, but I tell him to go ahead, just don't count on me.

      Then I am in the mountains. At a wooden cabin. I hear gunshots, probably hunters, which I detest. I go check on my dogs who are outside within a fence, but hunters sometimes don't care, they shoot anything that moves, so I fear for their safety. I see a couple Buddhist nuns passing by, and ask them if they've seen hunters around. They say they heard the shots and are saying prayers towards the animals at risk. Then some larger group passes right in front of my gate. The main figure is a Buddhist Lama and he comes surrounded by many monks, one of them by his side carrying a golden metal piece I can't identify. When passing in front of my lawn, the Lama grabs the piece quickly and drops it heavily at our entrance and apparently that means something important. They all come onto the lawn and sit around the Lama who is facing the golden object doing prayers. Then he makes some unintelligible prediction about a baby. Riverstone, whom I haven't noticed before was there, claims to hear something like a baby crying behind a wooden wall on our backs. It's supposed to be a hollow space for storage under a staircase or something, which has a door on the back that I know is locked with several locks. He is kinda out of his mind so he rips a board from the wall, not even letting me say there is a door. Inside this space is an altar covered in brocades and inside some covers is a baby girl that he picks up in awe and shock and brings to the Lama. Everybody is thinking of miracles but I know there is a door at the back of this pillar and ask Fernando S., who is also there, to check if the door is unlocked. He quietly confirms that it is unlocked. I get a bit pissed about the whole show, I don't understand the need for faking this whole shenanigan and I go outside the fence to the beginning of the hill descent. It's dark but I can see there are many other cabins and lots of activity going on, fires and prayers. It totally looks one of those Tibetan Buddhist settlements in the mountains, around monasteries and I think of my guru.


      Literally I am telling the previous dream to Riverstone. I get to the part of the monks sitting at the garden. And he is so excited to hear it, just as he was in the original dream to live it. He is grasping for a meaning and I can tell he will be disappointed in the end. Anyway, I didn't reach the end of the story.


      I am sleeping at some kind of attic at some family gathering. My dad, my deceased uncle Fermando and his wife are in that same house but they wanna leave, so my dad comes to wake me up to join him in offer them a gift before they go. I was pretending to be sleeping, cause I didn't want to be involved, but I notice them coming to check on me, so before they see me, I sneak out of bed and hide between an opened closet and remember I had more interesting things to do.
      I get lucid and teleport myself to outside. Remember to do the TOTM but cant do the ceiling fan thing because I am outside now, so I go for the surf thing. I visualize the ocean just over the end of a hill nearby and I start hearing the water. I go there and half way walking on grass, the ground beneath me disappears and I fall from the sky into the ocean. Amidst the waves, I try to visualize a surf board but it does not work. I kinda feel it but I do not see it, so I catch a wave in an invisible board. Then i see some kids surfing. One of them fall from his board and I "borrow" it. They are pissed about it, but I tell them it's just to catch one wave and I'll give it back. But the waves are really flat. I catch two, but have difficulty in taking any pleasure in the experience. Feels more like sliding over flat water, than actually surfing, as the waves are so small. The last wave pushes me into what seems a small cave but then it is a room.
      The dream shifts and now I am with kids in a room and they are waiting for the educator to come back. They say she'll put me in detention for making a mess. Indeed I am all wet and spread mud and water all over the pillows I am supposed to be sitting on. But when she comes in and before she manages to say anything, I sneak out and think I wanna surf more, but I am in the countryside again. I visualize an ocean bay and I head there. I am on top of a cliff where people watch beach goers down below. I then see Fernanda in a modelling gig shooting pics at the other side of this cliff, where there is some kind of canyon or canal and other people leaning over a rail, watching it. I ignore, because my goal is to surf again, so I turn again to the bay but it is gone and now in its place is a walk-in water fountain in a park with kids playing. Damn.
      I walk a few more steps towards the end of this park and someone calls my name excited. It's a friend of a friend (who actually does not exist in RL). I come back to say hi and she is very unpleasant, asking what I am doing here as I should be with my family or something. Then she has another friend with her, whom I never met, and she insults me too, saying maybe I am fooling around with some guy as I did with that guy in Italy while my boyfriend was at home. I did not do anything like that in RL, but in the dream I felt like I did, so I ask why this bitch knows about this and how many more friends of friends know. But then I say it doesn't matter because I don't know them anyway and I couldn't care less. I turn around to leave and they also leave still laughing and insulting me. I just go back two steps to tell the lady that I actually thought she was a nice person except for the part where she is a fucking cunt. They went down some stairs and when I look around I am inside some house again, seems like a clinic. There are rooms with patients and rooms with professionals apparently receiving training. I feel I am intruding but the patients gathering at some leisure room are very welcoming. Then I realize they all have back problems and are there for some physical therapy. I see something in the walls that catches my attention: intricate living landscapes. Each frame has divisions with small landscapes like lakes, ponds, ocean. You can see tiny rocks in it, mosses, algae, all real but in tiny size and most incredibly they are all covered in water that stays vertically in the divisions without anything holding it. Also, we are encouraged to touch it and make waves, make the water muddy, etc. Then I recall again my objective and I am considering choosing an ocean landscape to jump into it, but I wake up.

      Updated 03-19-2021 at 10:47 AM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , task of the month
    7. 18 Mar: Lucid through the mirror, walking maybe in Belgium and rural place

      by , 03-18-2021 at 02:24 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      Taking a shower in what looks like my maternal grandparents kitchen in VFX. The shower is on an elevated platform with a very lose curtain in front of it, just by the left side of the door. I don't feel uncomfortable though and I am feeling a bit horny.
      I see the direction this dream is going and for that reason I get half lucid and decide to dry up and dress. Right in front there is another door leading to a proper WC. It has a large mirror on the wall. When I see it, I get fully lucid and I sink in it. Unlike other times, it just expands like a bubble and becomes transparent, letting me see that there are people working in an office behind it. I burst the bubble and join them. They look scared and some run away. One dude seems like he might attack me, so I manifest a bunch of money on his desk trying to distract him. Then everyone else goes crazy and I think I need to make more money to calm them down. So with some difficulty, I make it rain - there's notes falling out of thin air. Unfortunately, some just look like notes but are random pieces of paper, which again seems to enrage people. I decide to leave before they turn on me. I levitate towards upper floor and then go through a couple doors and I am outside. I feel the fresh air and find the sensation amazing. I also enjoy the view. Seems like I am in Belgium, the architecture looks familiar. I walk down a street looking for references and see a big sign saying Badesee or Badesek. Seems like an entrance to a station or a park. I almost lose lucidity in here, so I rub my hands. I am enjoying beautiful surreal things like trees with african pottery hanging from branches, a stained glass sky with beautiful sunset hues shining though it. Then I notice some weird guy kinda stalking me and I decide to fly over a wall to the other side. It's a more rural landscape on the other side and I see a huge snake in pastel yellow and green designs sliding through some wooden houses ad then turning into a girl in clothes of those colors. I find that lovely but also seems like she is a sign of caution from here on. Then I catch a glimpse in between houses, of some black guys running and I am not sure what they are running for or from, so I hide to see what's up. I hide between two very close walls of a couple ruined houses and I peek over a wall to see if they came my way. They didn't, they disappeared inside some other house or down the road. Then I see a man guiding a bunch of scared black women and children into a barn and other people hiding wherever they can in these old rural houses and barns. I don't know what they are hiding from but I am absolutely sure they will be found very easily when whomever is looking for them swipes the area. I want to help them so I plan to hover the place and shoot fire or whatever to their attackers, but I am distracted by my dog Lady who comes out of nowhere and joins me in that tiny space between walls where I am at. I hug her and all of a sudden I am in my farm and notice that all my dogs are outside the fence. Some idiot girl was passing by and when my mom arrived in her car, the girl leaned against the fence to get out of the road and she damaged the fence, and the dogs found a way to pass under it. Pissed of, I ask her to help me fix it while trying to bring my dogs inside.
    8. 10 Mar: Hanging out with actors, disneyland like place and lucid sex fantasies in a palace

      by , 03-10-2021 at 10:31 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At a space station in the shape of a ring. But not really in it, more like looking it from the outside. They project movies and ads inside the ring's inner wall and are playing a Star Wars movie in it. Turns out I am not in outerspace, but in a movie set. Carrie Fisher's daughter is there and she is a teenager. I find out she has been crashing the set uninvited and unnoticed and she ends up being caught and sent home. Her father in this situation is Nicolas Cage and he comes to get her and scolds her. Next day I am coming to their mansion as a guest and as I arrive at their front door, he is calling her to the car to drive her to school. On the radio someone is talking about her misbehavior and he is still upset by it.
      Anyway, he tells me to go inside and I am welcomed by an old lady, also some actress. Inside, the house is really different from the outside. It is an old victorian mansion in bad shape and also in a mess. Many actors live there as in a commune. There are newspapers on the floor at the entrance, full of dog pee. On the second floor the lady takes me to a dining room with a long wooden table, and there are clothes hanging on ropes from the ceiling. I meet a few younger actresses still going to acting school and they ask me to hang out with them. They discuss great movies, classics and not so classic and debate their virtues and qualities. Then they ask me for favorite directors and I have trouble recalling any. Then they ask me my favorite movie and all I can think about is "The Matrix". They are shocked and then I have to explain that I am a nerd and sci-fi is my favorite genre and that I also love classics and dramas and character movies, but that Matrix played an important role in my teenage years and was the only movie I paid to watch 10 times in the cinema and know all the lines by heart. They have this snobbish attitude like "poor ignorant thing" but I don't care. Then they take me to their school with them and Nicolas Cage is there at the library, dressed up in a past era clothing, doing some monologue to half a dozen students. Since we interrupt it, we are kicked out of the library. They then take me to a sort of playground area. There is a maze and Robin Williams is there playing catch with everyone else. We are assigned numbers and letters and he has to catch the people with a designated letter or number that is picked out by chance. If he catches us, we lose. Although it's a fun game, I am actually afraid when they call my number and he chases me. It feels threatening, So I cheat by climbing to the top of the maze wall to have an overview and I am also kicked out of the game for breaking the rules. I then go to an area that is more like a playground for kids, with slides and carousels and tiny play houses. It is already dark, but some kids are still playing. I decide to enjoy playing to, since I am not allowed in any of these on regular occasions. I have to turn the lantern on my phone on and I chose to go inside a fake diner. It has fake drinks and burgers, made of plastic and cardboard on a table. Then I hear voices on my back and I turn to see some teenagers hanging out on the opposite side of the diner. They are not so happy that I am there too, clearly were enjoying their little secret hanging place. Outside, there is a huge line of kids to go visit the Disney castle that stands tall on top a hill.

      Maybe in the continuation of the previous dream, I am at some big place like a palace with ballrooms and lush gardens. It is crowded and festive. People are drinking and talking loud. At some point a big group is heading to a staircase to a lower floor and some girl in crotches is trying to break her way through them. Me and others tell her she better to go through a different path or it won't be easy. But she is rude to us and insists on going that way, so she ends up being dragged by the crowd which was pushing aggressively towards the stairs. Me and some folks just have the time to push her to the side or she would have been trampled over. I am also dragged by the crowd to the lower floor. Apparently the party has moved downstairs and I hear a music that makes me wanna dance. I start floating around in the air dancing sensually and entertaining all the guests. Men in particular, seem to be enjoying it a lot. I float to the garden but the music does not follow me there.
      I am half-lucid by now and decide to just play a song in my head, I chose Lamb's "Soft Mistake" from the album Fear of Fours. I see my reflection in a mirror and think to myself I should learn how to dance like this in real life as I am doing some great moves. Then I am at the door of some secretive part of the palace and see other beautiful women dancing. I join them and realize it is some kind of harem. I feel a slight rejection growing inside me regarding being there, and I almost leave, but end up entering a room where an Asian man and woman are making love and they don't feel disturbed by my presence. I actually feel attracted to them and I dance for them, while they make love. Then they touch me and offer me a totally realistic dildo, like a cut-off penis. I am so horny now that I don't think it is weird. I do get lucid at this point and think "do I go on or do I drop it and do something useful instead?"... Well, nah, I didn't. I pleased myself with that dildo until it started to fall apart like grounded meat. But it wasn't real meat, it was Beyond Meat. I had an orgasm and I woke up.
      I wonder what's up with all the masturbating with food... Freud would have enjoyed coming up with explanations.
    9. 9 Mar: Lucid experimentations and sensuous feelings

      by , 03-09-2021 at 03:03 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I am in the middle of narrow old streets, like in Lisbon. I become lucid and decide to climb to a rooftop and see what's up there. I feel a bit of vertigo but tell myself that it's a dream and I can do anything and won't die, so why fear? I see distant rooftops lined up and decide to jump from one to the next and at the end try a bigger jump to a mountain top that is peeking in the back.
      But when I land on the 3rd or 4th building, I go through the roof and end up at some storage room in a cellar. I can't see a door so I climb a wall full of shelves to swing from a rope hanging in the ceiling, so I go against the wall to break it. I end up in a back storage full of fruits, veggies and cake deliciousness. I gobble up a bunch of yummy stuff and then taste some exotic fruits. It becomes a sensuous experience, so I end up rubbing a papaya in my body and the sensation of the fleshy pulp in my nether regions makes me orgasm. Then I wake up.
      I fall asleep again and go back to same cellar. This time I meet a familiar face but can't really point out whom. He complains about all the destruction I caused and I argue we're dreaming so it doesn't matter. But this person is not convinced and complains he will have to do all the work once I leave. I wonder out loud if dream characters go on living in their universes after we exit the dream and then I feel compassion for him if he really has to go through cleaning my mess. He asks me to follow him and he crosses a wall like a dreamer would. I am surprised by don't want to follow him. Instead I cross it to the street and meet two other characters outside, but when try to engage with them I wake up again.
    10. 11 Feb: Playing with time, lucid meditation and prisoner at a fort

      by , 02-11-2021 at 11:54 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I work in some office in the city. Somebody left a baby there. A colleague comes to me with the baby and asks if I want to adopt him. He is adorable and I kinda want to, but I remind her it's not that simple. I do accept however to look after him for the time being, until it is clear where he came from and what will happen next.
      As we leave, I am on the street with my colleague and she is holding the baby and showing me a daycare just at the end of the street, where she suggests I can leave him during the day. I sense some imminent danger as I notice we are underneath a building under construction. Somehow I rewind time, so we escape whatever accident was about to happen. That's when some agents of the Adjustment Bureau type of thing appear to me, not to chase me down and punish me, but to meet and befriend me. They too can stop time and push it back and forth. They stop everyone on the street and show me something quite irrelevant about music from a street vendor while he is frozen in time. I ask if one can in theory live forever if it spends a lot of time in this time stop bubbles. In theory they say one can live a long time as we don't age there, but we also can't do much because interfering or changing anything while there can have cosmic consequences. We can go back and change course, but not change things while they are frozen, Even stepping on a bug could be disastrous. I think it is good for meditating.

      In a retreat with my teacher. He presents a dance he practiced with a couple students. Then he selects a new group to choreograph a new dance and I am selected to be part of the group. Then he is invited by some glass artist to blow some glass to create a piece that will encapsulate his breath as a memento, and he calls me on, to add my breath to it to. But I blow too hard and destroy the piece. We start over.


      I am walking down a street and become lucid. I decide to float up and think about what to do next. I sit in meditation hovering over people on the street and try to just slide through the air to keep the scenario changing without having actively to think about it. Usually the mediation collapses the dream so I am trying to keep it going without interacting with it. But as usual it doesn't last long. Mara sends his armies to disrupt me. The sky turns dark and I see some couple bad fellas following me around with clear bad intentions. They can't fly but they are apparently pushing me past some train tracks into a garden. In that garden there is some kind of abandoned building where some more fellas are doing shady businesses with, I think, stolen materials. At first they don't seem disturbed with my presence. I even notice Evangelion among them and feel safer. But the ones that were following me push me into some long corridor that takes me to a new place. Past a door, there is a hallway in what appears to be an old fort. They close the door behind me and I keep going forward looking for the exit on the other side. But someone closes the door at the other end.Then I hear them entering through the door on to my back and clearly not with good intentions. But there are windows. They think I won't jump given the height, but I can fly and levitate so it isn't a problem to me. I go to the ledge of the window outside and just float until the ground.
      Now the context is a bit different, These guys are like a private army in a fort, they have uniforms. Outside on the ground, I stumble upon one who is secretly meeting his lady girlfriend. She is virgin and they are about to have their first sexual encounter before he goes on some mission the next day. They both get naked. The guy is played by Chris Evans, so very hot, but here he is a douchebag whom I despise. The girl is some blond actress whose name I don't recall. At first I feel like disrupting their sex and take revenge on the guy, I even pick up a spear he left on the floor and think about pinning down his balls to the ground. But I feel sorry for the girl. She really loves him and is so into the several positions they are trying . I let them be. But I steal his uniform. Then I go around the fort and pass by all the guards on the front door just for fun. A general arrives and is welcomed by another high ranking official there, who is telling him how they captured me and also have some important documents for him. I salute them and the general asks "so why is she here in a uniform" and the other guy freaks out. I kick his ass and some friends of mine arrive in a car and kidnap the general at that instant and take me along. No guards have time to react.
      After that we stop at some café to eat some cookies and have a drink. It is a kitsch but high tech place, with cute cat images and amazing interactive decorative panels with waterfall and other nature images that we can mix and match and they adjust to each other - like if we put one panel close another with a waterfall, it will prolong the waterfall.
    11. 29 Sep: False memories (hopefully) and a lucid

      by , 09-29-2020 at 07:27 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I have been having some weird dreams that feel like deep buried memories, but probably are false memories or at least I hope so.

      I am a kid and my parents are fighting and mom leaves temporarily to sort something out. I freak out and call for my mom. My dad is upset and does not understand why chose her over him. He claims he is the provider, the one who takes care of me. He also says that I am lazy like my mother and he is totally disappointed how I turned out and turned on him.

      My father calls me to his bedroom on waking up. I go to the side of his bed and his behavior is quite improper with me. I run away and hide from him. He gets up and makes threats so I get out of my hiding place. I leave the house and find a hideout in the basement of the building. (It does not look at all like my parents apartment building, but there was indeed a door under the staircase on ground floor, where only a child could get inside and this one is quite similar.) With some help I plan a trip to Nepal to where my mother run away.


      I have an experience that feels more like astral projection than a dream. I think I fell asleep lucid and I start seeing some wild place at dusk, with trees and stone walls at the side of the roads, a few cars passing. It doesn't feel like a lucid dream, more like I am remote viewing or astral projecting to a real place. I hover down the road until I see a small town. I check several landmarks looking for names that I might recall on waking up, like the name of the school, but I forget all. Can only remember the school had a man's name, composed of two words and last name ended in "ăo". Something, maybe a shop, was called "Atmosfera". Then I feel that I start losing touch and just drift into a norrnal dream based on the previous images. It is now morning in this town and several small shops are opening, Tourists are coming, kids going to school. I see a small café run by an old lady who makes homemade breakfast with a variety of artisanal bread and jams and I have to go inside. I spot a tiny tiny white kitten behind the costumers at the counter and I go grab him before someone steps over the baby. I look for momma cat who is hiding under some furniture where she is feeding the rest of her babies. They are covered in fleas that jump on me. One of the yellow cats has cancer in his ears. I plan to rescue them somehow.
    12. 18 Nov: Diverse dreams and lucid at a party full of white lotuses

      by , 11-18-2019 at 08:33 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      A Rinpoche I don't know is visiting Portugal. He says the Rinpoches house needs to be emptied fast and they are looking for some place where to store furniture and books. I offer to store the books but say I have no covered place to store the furniture. He argues it just needs to be a cemented floor, no need for cover cause they can use a tarp. But they also don't know how long it will be, so I keep saying no, afraid of the weather changes. Anyway, this Rinpoche hands me one book as an example and I treat it as a precious treasure.

      Attending some VIP award ceremony for which I bought a ticket. I go to the main entrance of the venue, I look fabulous and confident, but the door keepers tell me the entrance is for guests only or nominees. The bought tickets have to enter through a lateral door. There is a mother and daughter who also get denied entrance and I join them in looking for the secondary door. I try to cheer them up by showing enthusiasm and not upset with the setback. I have some big props/ jewels I have to carry in my hands and I am sick of it and considering leaving them behind. They tell me not to do it.

      At an underground bunker in the USSR. An accident with grenades exploding at the entrance reveals our location to some team outside looking for us. They enter through an opening on the back. I resist but all others surrender, so I also give up. They subject us to indoctrination treatment, make us watch videos about the great motherland. I laugh and do not allow the brainwashing. The others decided to play along, figure they will suffer less. I also consider they might put me in sleep deprivation and so on, so I also consider playing along, as it is naive of them to think we can actually believe their bullshit after watching some videos.


      Crossing some station and I become lucid. Drop my backpack, take my shoes and socks, open a door to another dream. There is a garden and a nice party with beautiful dancers like nymphs. There are a lot of white lotuses with purple orbs glowing in the center. Up close the orbs look like a white bubble of a thin membrane with the purple one inside. I put my hand through the external one and pick the purple one, which actually looks like a molecule with several atoms and bridges, also made from the thin membrane. They start to deflate but I make them turn into a sort of purple lotus flower and then I eat it. Tastes like raw cabbage. That was sort of pointless. Look around and think of lying a bit and decide what to do next. Think about my guru but get distracted by Henri, which I haven't seen in years but is now here in a suit and tie. I call him, he doesn't even notice I am there. I wake up cause I am snoring loud.


      With my mom, I think in my home because there is a fireplace burning. I leave her for a moment in the living room and when I come back she threw a lot of absurd things in the fire, like a can where I keep coffee capsules, a wooden box and a bunch of unopened yogurts. I can't save the yogurts because they melted away, but manage to recover the rest before it burns. She has no recollection of having done that. I surely didn't, so then we get really concerned about her mental health.

      I am a boy playing piano on stage at a public recital. Some colleagues trolled me and put something inside the piano so when I reach some notes it sounds really bad. I have to stop and open the piano and find a saxofone inside. I show it to the audience, they show sympathy for me, but my teacher who also despises me, doesn't allow me to sit back and play again and announces the next kid to perform. I am revolted. I try to cope but can't sit in the audience. I sneak out and head for some beautiful deserted place. Seems like we are in an island. I see ocean, a bay, but also a mountain and chose to go there. Just go first to my room pick my bag so I can go there, but I can't find the bag. Outside sitting in a car is Tatiana but she pretends not to see me.
    13. 12 Oct: Asian stranger, flowers blossoming from my body, celestial palace

      by , 10-12-2019 at 09:07 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      It's night, the light in my garage turns on and I take a peak through the window. I see a guy inside my fence, by the gate near the pine tree. I can tell he is Asian and is wearing sunglasses, which is bizarre. I knock on the window and make a face like " hey, what are you doing here?" and he runs away, exiting through the gate. I get out and go after him. As soon as I turn on the road after my house to follow him, there is a building and he goes up a central staircase, many stories high. I look up to spot him but soon I lose him because there are many other people going up and down.

      At my mom's. She is in the bathroom and I am in my old bedroom. I feel an itch on my legs and realize I have a few infected pores. As I watch it closely, more and more pores are getting weird, purplish, engorging, becoming furuncules. They grow so large, they become like mushrooms. I pop some of them. It is disgusting.
      [COLOR="#FF0000"]But I realize I am dreaming. So just for fun, I turn the mushroom furuncules into flowers. At first it is not so easy to do it, but once I get the gist, I enjoy a wave of all types of flowers in all the colors of the rainbow, sprouting through my skin and blossoming and then giving way to other flowers. It is ticklish, I really feel them bursting out and growing, it is a strange and wonderful sensation. Also it is so incredibly beautiful to watch. As a final touch, I look to the palms of my hands and visualize a lotus flower blossoming in each of them. They do appear, one white lotus in each hand, first the leafs, then the flowers opening. Then I feel so light and glowy and I naturally start floating. I want to cross the wall and fly away but my mom calls for me and I turn back, because I don't want to scare her, even if it's in a dream. On the hallway I find my friend Belchior instead of my mom. He smiles at me, doesn't say a word and I realize there is nothing keeping me here. I keep floating on air and I feel like I am expanding in size. The ceiling can't contain me. I cross through the wall and ceiling and I am floating outside. Not like flying with effort or conscientiously, just standing weightless in the air. I can see my feet. Then I see a golden throne set up in the middle of the street in front of my mom's building. I float towards it and notice a golden Buddha statue which I touch and then I am inside four walls. It is an all white and gold room, marble floors and walls, rich golden curtains and sofas and beautiful big Buddha statues everywhere, in gold or white stone, in Tibetan, Thai and other styles. There is a panoramic window to a garden outside and passageways to other rooms. An Asian man comes in in servants clothing and welcomes me. Then a few ladies also appear, with foods to serve or just offering their services. I am a bit overwhelmed and then two beautiful cats come strutting in my direction. This feels like heave and I feel that I could stay here forever and just be pampered. But why and for what? Then I wonder where this servants come from? Do they have a life and a family? Why do they work for me? Do they suffer? I can't accept having servants. I could not enjoy paradise.
      I go outside to the garden. There is a glass wall separating it from some corridors that go around it and where normal people are circulating and going somewhere. I spot a girl I seem to know and I have a dejá vu. I feel like I have been here before and have seen that girl before in that exact place, but in a somewhat different situation, one in which I was her equal. But now I am separated by a wall, in a garden with waterfalls and she looks lonely and sad. I do something that breaks the separation and now they all can see me and come inside the garden. I try to talk to the girl, but it becomes quite chaotic with people talking in groups, mingling and hanging out. There is one one dude going around imitating a cow mooing.

      At some nice Portuguese town, on a break from some professional training I am attending but which I do not care about at all. The lady that usually assists me at the parish council, sees me and comes talk to me about how good this training is and professional opportunities that might arise from it and I'm like "oh c'mon, I dont give a shit about it and I am not even staying 'till the end". She is a bit shocked.
      I go to the next door, which is a clinic of sorts and check their vending machine at the entrance for some snacks. Also at the entrance are a few patients freaking out because the electronic system that registers the patients is down and they can't get to their appointment. I calm them down and I feel compassion for them and somehow I create the conditions for the system to be fixed.


      Then outside again I see Rinpoche coming down the street with the usual entourage and I bow down as he passes by. He enters the next door and some people enter after him and close it behind, while others stay outside guarding the entrance. I feel bold and uninhibited and I say to them I'd like to go in. They say definitely no and then they also go inside and shut the door again. So I put my hand through the door and I hear them freaking out. They still don't open. So I just cut out a hole on the door with my fingers so I can look inside. Rinpoche is in another room deeper inside. I finally manage to go inside so they let me sit at a desk alongside other people waiting for a chance to meet Rinpoche.
    14. 22 Aug: My guru throws me a grenade and fire in a festival in Brazil

      by , 08-22-2019 at 10:12 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I pass through a small secondhand fair. One lady is annoyingly wanting me to buy a book collection from her. I get away and enter a war game simulation area. But it turns real pretty quickly, as soon as I realize the bullets shot are real ammunition. I pick a gun from a guy on the ground, presumably dead and I go upstream along a river. End up in a garden with people dancing. No war here. But I was followed by a guy that threatens everybody with a grenade. He arms it and throws it at me. I try that trick from the movies, of kicking it away. But then Rinpoche comes out of nowhere once again, catches it and after throwing me a defying look, throws it back at me. I feel like "Whaaaat?" and panic a little bit. But almost immediately realize, with my absolute trust in my guru, that this grenade represents no danger and that I can do whatever with it. So I hold it in my hands and try to turn it into a lotus flower. Unfortunately all I succeed in doing is turning it into sort of a flower made of rags. I feel disappointed, but then Rinpoche approaches me and turns these rags into a tent and invites me to step inside it with him.

      With my parents having vacations in Brazil. We go to some festival which is in a semi rural and forested area in the outskirts of a little town. Soon after we arrived, we start seeing smoke from distant fires in the forest. We discuss how it might get dark sooner because of it. But we think we're safe. It seems very distant.
      I see banners from locals supporting Bolsonaro and I feel angry. I make a nasty comment and some man hears and he's not happy. I tell him that I love Brazil and its people, but I just can't accept that man they chose for president. Later we're walking through a street with restaurants and I spot some curtains of a place, on fire. Then look around and also see some vegetation on fire. As I raise the alarm, we notice there are fires spreading a bit everywhere, from sparks coming through the air from far away. We decide to grab our things and leave this area before it gets serious. But general panic ensues and to make things worse, as we head to the car in the parking lot at the entrance of the venue, there are landslides and large boulders falling onto the road we're taking and people are getting blocked. For a while I lose my parents in the crowd, but soon after my mom appears. As we find a safe way out, she complains about the things I chose to bring on our backpack and I don't get why she is commenting that until I realize we can't go back to our tent to get most of our stuff that we left behind and I feel awful for that.
    15. 07 Aug: Mountain hike and cornucopia with a message

      by , 08-07-2019 at 06:22 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


      On vacation with friends. They go hike up a mountain. I was also planning to go, but I miss it for some reason. Look at it from a distance. Don't want to give up. I find some Asian group renting a transport to go there and I go with them.
      With my friends on top of mountain, there is an earthquake, we head for some type of railcar that goes downhill. But half way we see a river of lava flowing to our right side and crossing the rails a bit ahead of us. At that time some kids in very primitive clothing come out from the jungle around us and signal a stone platform where it is safe for us to jump to. When we are safe we follow them into the jungle. They never speak and when we try to talk to them, they get silently angry. They live in a small village and welcome us into different houses. The whole town is silent and soon we learn why. The forest is filled with dinosaurs and they keep this place secret by staying silent, since the dinosaurs don't naturally wander into this place except they know they're there.

      With friends at a table. On another table is Rinpoche with other people. One of them comes tell me to go to that table and meet Julie A.. I get up and realize I am topless, but I just use my long hair to cover my breast. When I am there I can't even see Rinpoche properly as he is surrounded by so many people. But Julie hands me a kind of cornucopia shaped tube with something written on it. Some note telling me to take what's inside. But it is empty! Except when I go back to my table, when magically it becomes heavy and filled with some liquid that I almost completely spill - manage to drink a bit. Then some sort of biscuits appear and I eat a few. Seems dog food. I offer the rest to a dude passing by walking a bunch of dogs, for the benefit of the dogs. Then I try to read what else is written on the tube, but it becomes nonsensical and each time I read it, it changes.
      Then I remember it might be because I am dreaming, I get lucid but unfortunately I wake up.

      Updated 08-07-2019 at 07:07 PM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , dream fragment
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