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    Lucid Dreams

    1. 5 Oct: A place from my childhood and a weird LD experience

      by , 10-05-2022 at 08:09 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Visiting the secondary location of my old extra curricular activities center. It now seems to be working as a day care for younger children. At first I am waiting at some waiting room and notice the old furniture and apparently abandoned and despised trinkets I remember seeing there as a kid. I start picking some up from the floor and under a table, stuffing them in my pockets since here no one cares to preserve these. It's like tiny china figurines and sculpted wooden pieces. Then I am welcomed inside and I get to see that this place is overcrowded with kids. The kids are sitting on the floor, I almost can't walk around, I see no toys or games, they look bored and neglected. Most are kids of color. There's 3 or 4 carers who seem overwhelmed with the kids and even a bit too agressive towards them, I feel. I am worried about what I see. I then decide I will try to sell the antique trinkets and donate the money back to them. I exit through the front door - seems like I actually entered through the back one - and even find another carer with half a dozen more kids sitting on the floor of the hallway of the building. It's heartbreaking.

      I am waking up from a dream, but become lucid and try hard to hold on. Get stuck in what seems like behind a frosted glass wall. To not lose lucidity, I focus on the texture of the frosted glass, so close to my face and don't try anything else. When I feel the lucidity is more stable, I also try to feel my real body in bed. I think I may have had a lucid false awakening, because I experimented raising my real hand and touch my face with it and I swear I felt it. I even put my fingers in my mouth. At least that's exactly what it felt like, although in the dream state I was basically formless in front of the frosted glass screen. When I really woke up, I was confused if I actually managed to move my hand by commanding it from inside the lucid dream or if I imagined it, but most likely I imagined it in a cross between an LD and a FA.
    2. 29 Sep: Looking for food in Australia, rich friend mansion, tasting clouds lucid

      by , 09-29-2022 at 09:29 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Watching some show like "60 Minutes" about a reporter quest to find some hacker. The reporter shows a map of Australia and the different locations the police thought the hacker was at and how she found him for real. Then I am down there in Australia, in some small town away from everything. The other nearest town is 5 hours away and I realize that most people around here never gets very far away from their location because you need to travel by plane to get anywhere in a decent time frame. I suddenly also realize I am in the middle of nowhere and I remember my babies are at home, so far away and I feel so sad and miss them. I feel like I will be away for some time. I walk through the town, cross a crosswalk and see lots of people going in the same direction, then a bunch of uniformed police coming from the opposite direction. But I go to where the police are coming from and they join the rest of the crowd and head to my left down another street. Where I go is some comercial area. I enter a mall looking for a food court. I find some place that looks like a self-service buffet with lots of people in a line and by chance I encounter Zilla. I check the food on display and it is mostly yummy cakes but I want some main dishes. I ask Zilla if there is something veggie and she immediately grabs some fried tofu that is the last available and some other customers before me also wanted to eat. She gets away with it but everybody thinks bad of her and starts trashing her. So she asks me if I want to join her in going somewhere else. I agree and she takes me outside the mall into a back alley. Points to what seems like a private home, but with one single table with two seats outside the door on the sidewalk. We sit and wait to be attended, but I feel awkward with how bizarre this is. Some lady on a window above us is hanging a bedsheet to dry over our heads and I say "What if she was dusting a carpet?" She hears and replies that she could and she wouldn't care. But Zilla seems totally relaxed about all this. She then sees some family playing with their kids in a terrace on the other side of the road and because she is a mom now, she can't help it but to go talk to them about their kids. I notice the kids amazing eyes but I don't care engaging with them.

      Meet Tova and come to visit her new house in Portugal. Crazy decoration with water tanks along the walls going from room to room, cascading at some points, with fish and plants in some locations. It looks gorgeous but then in one room the tanks are overflowing and ruining the furniture and the floor. I tell her to reduce the volume of the water to stop it overflowing and she says that's the plan but she isn't so happy about it because they wanted to create an effect like infinity pools if only the water kept still. I sit down at some sofa with other guests and there is a famous football player, some actors and some of these VIPs want to know who I am. We have some fun conversation where I explain I am nobody, and I am feeling totally comfortable among them.

      I get lost in some backdoors, leading to service corridors and rooms and end up at the entrance of a kitchen. I look through the window on the door and spot an hispanic lady alone in there and some other door on the opposite side also with a window, through which I spot some nasty looking guys. I sneak in quietlly and I ask her if she seen those guys and knows them. She says no and she also finds them fishy. We then sense that something violent is going on out there, so we try to barricade the door. After failed attempts, she suggests we just leave. I get lost from her in the corridors and find some door to the exterior, ending up alone at night in the middle of what seems a parking lot in the back
      . I then become lucid and feel like levitating up into the clouds which are extremely low in the night sky. Then I feel like trying the taste of the clouds and they feel like cotton candy but without any flavour. So then I think about different flavours like mango, strawberry, caramel and I imagine the cotton candy clouds tasting like those. It works and I have a lot of fun savoring the clouds. Then the clouds start raining sweet syrup all over me and I feel strangely like removing my clothes. I bathe in the sweet nectar and start feeling a bit horny. So I play a bit with myself. Meanwhile I feel like I should stop it and actually do something more useful with my lucidity, but I wake up.

      With mom, on the street. It's dusk and some really ugly clouds are forming in the distance. I spot a saucer shaped UFO with 3 lights and I warn her about it. Turns out, when it gets closer, it is actually some weird weather drone analyzing the incoming storm. We then spot a tornado and try to find shelter. There is only a gas station which doesn't seem to offer much shelter, but luckily it has an underground level, although with an open top. We go around looking for extra shelter but we just see people laying low and near the walls as there seems to be no better shelter. Yet there is actually a small corner room that has a wall and ceiling and offers more protection. I go inside and there is maybe 3 or 4 other people who are ok with us joining them. But since no one else is coming inside, I suggest we barricade the open door with something for us to be safer. They agree, but then some kids ask to come in and I let them, then Alex appears out of nowhere and I also let him, but then no one else and we block the entrance. Then when the storm hits, the people outside seem to finally start to feel afraid and also want to come inside but now we don't want to let anyone else come in, so they start vandalizing our barricade and a fights starts over them wanting to come in an us trying to keep ourselves safe.

      Updated 09-29-2022 at 09:38 PM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid
    3. 17 Sep: Bullied and despised by school colleagues, then becoming lucid

      by , 09-17-2022 at 11:14 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      In high school / university mix situation, being bullied by Monica and her minions. Even in the bathroom, they burst open the stall where I am sitting on the toilet, demanding something I don't have, just to humiliate me. Then later on class, we're getting our grades and she scores higher than anyone else. I believe she is cheating, but everybody praises her and she gets a round of applause. I don't want to look petty but I gotta say something. I don't accuse her of cheating, but I say I won't clap because she is a bully and she's been bullying me constantly to derail me. Even if she really is smart, she's still a bad person. Nobody denies it, they tell me everybody knows that she bullies, but they still think she should be praised for her grades and they clearly think I am petty for bringing this up. I am appalled. As soon as everyone's attention goes elsewhere, she sneaks in close to me and pinches me hard, hurting me and I say I am sick of it and I am no longer going to be civilized with her. I do a choke hold on her and throw her on the floor and she kicks the air struggling to breath. I eventually let her go and we still fight a bit more, but I can tell she is scared of this new side of me. After the class everybody is going out somewhere and I join just to avoid being cast out, but I wonder if I should, since nobody likes me much anyway and I don't owe them anything. It starts raining as we walk down the street. It's already dark. I pull an umbrella out from my backpack. Everybody gathers in pairs or bigger groups under different umbrellas and I offer a ride under mine to anyone who needs it, but only Monica accepts. I yell there's not a chance in hell and I turn to a group that has like 4 people under one umbrella and offer to welcome at least one of them. They don't accept so I just carry on. I am tired of being nice. We walk into a grand central station and everyone heads to a subway line, but I miss them in the crowd. I don't know which direction they're going. Then I get distracted by some bijouterie lost on the floor. I pick it up and some lady who is just standing there notices it and says she had actually seen it before but was too embarassed to pick it up. She then points out to more bijouterie under a ledge and I am surprised with the finding. Like little kids who found a treasure, we pick it up piece by piece, making pairs with the found earrings and admiring the colorful stones and I fill my pockets with it. The lady doesn't want it for herself, she is just happy to help me find these. Then some other lady comes by and says she doen't think all that bijouterie is lost, but that it belongs to a seller who is there during the day and leaves her things hidden in there for the night. I feel bad and put it all back, except for that one piece that was efectively broken and in pieces on the floor and which seems like it was really discarded. Meanwhile, I am approached by Rupigo who asks me where some other colleague went and if he joined the others. I say I haven't seen him but I suppose so. Then decide to go after him as he probably knows the direction to go. But I don't want to go down the stairs against the flow of the crowd, so I just jump a balcony, the height of one floor, and gently land in the main central area of the station, near a ticket booth. I realize I am dreaming and that I can do whatever I want. I still debate a little with myself if I should go after the group lucidly, or not and I realize it is completely irrelevant. Instead I fly over everyone's heads and I move to the exit. I play a little with the fact that I can cross walls and columns and don't really need to find a door, but I am still planning my next move. Unfortunately the dream isn't stable enough and I wake up.

      Updated 09-17-2022 at 11:19 AM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    4. 15 Sep: At an event, then try to lucid teleport, end up fighting monsters in The Backrooms

      by , 09-15-2022 at 05:30 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Visiting the location of some teachings I am attending, I am amazed by the architecture and decor of the place, the temple, the gardens. I am helping out and looking for a mop to clean something when I stumble across Em. She takes me to her own apartment to get me a mop and says she is also tidying it up. And it really needs, it looks like a hoarder's house. She claims it's her mother who likes to have stuff covering every surface. I find that odd, from what I know about her, but say it's the same with me and my mom, except we don't want to, it just happens. Our teacher is on-site and welcoming small groups for personalized conversations and teachings in a large reception hall. He is receiving a group which I join in by mistake and they are talking about Jesus and calling themselves a church, it all sounds satirical yet they are truly commited to the part. I have no clue what they are up to, but not my business, so I leave. I am then invited to join a larger group who is having some kind of reception with food and drinks. We sit at a large U shaped table that goes around a U shaped corridor. Food starts being served and I ask if this is dinner, they say no and then I reply we will be full and not need dinner later. I meet some nice people and one guy is recording snips and bits of the event and makes a short clip with me, which distracts me for like 10 minutes, enough for all the food to disappear. They suggest I go directly to the kitchen and ask for more, but the only tray they still have is taken to another group and there is nothing left. I realize I am so hungry and can't wait until the next meal. I almost have a meltdown because of it.
      Some guy and girl invite me to go out and look for some café or other place to eat and I join them. The location feels like some European city with modern buildings. I feel Berlin vibes but it actually looks more like London. We are at some terraced passageway and then we need to go down some stairs to reach the main street where there is the subway and they are asking me where I am staying and where would be more convenient to go and I have no idea. They ask east or west and I mention vaguely an area but my mind is blurry. Then for some reason I decide to not go with them anymore and we separate. I then spot two ginger cats sleeping in the street, their backs against a wall, and I approach to see if they're ok. Apparently so and anyway I can't take them with me, so I leave them be.
      Then it gets blurry again but I am with a group of 2-3 people in a room and they aren't friendly to me and are menacing somehow, so I leave and try to lock the door behind me. I can't, so I start zigzagging through rooms and realize I am in some kind of the Backrooms, as each room has 3-4 doors only leading to another room and so on. Some are empty, some look like normal rooms in a home
      . I start becoming lucid and think of what to do next. Not sure, have no plan, but I spot a door that opens to an absolute pitch darkness and I decide to jump through it as a portal and see where I land. Doesn't go as planned. I just enter a darker and most dangerous area of the Backrooms, filled with monsters. First I stumble from room to room in the darkness, finding some hints of a faded light here and there showing a door or some furniture against a wall. Then I came across the first monster. It looks a bit like Venom, shiny black slim body and a big head with sharp teeth. He just appears out of nowhere and falls on me. I just have time to grab his head away from mine and we fight on the floor. I try several hooks to keep him imobilized as I try to find a weakness to hurt him. Eventually I manage to grab some object and slam it into his head, but it takes a lot of times to knock him down and he bits me a couple times. Then I continue wandering and encounter a metal staircase leading to upper or lower levels. I go up and enter a level that has victorian decor in the hallways and beautiful colored bead curtains hanging over many doors. As soon as I cross one such doors and it makes a distinct sound of beads against each other, some woman with a kid appears running and yelling that I just attracted the creature. The creature is a hollow blue mesh figure, a bit like the other slender figure before, but more hunched and walking on four limbs. The front limbs a bit longer than the back limbs. And the head is very thin, basically a neck ending in a jaw. I don't even know how this creature can hurt, because it looks so frail, but it is scary nonetheless. We run upwards but all the next floors are still in the same style with the same damn curtains. Eventually I enter one such floor any way and allow the creature to follow me throughout the rooms. I then face it and grab its head to find it is indeed frail. I rip apart the head mesh as if it is cardboard and that is it. Then I think I see the kid again, can't tell if he is the same, but must be. I call him closer, I don't see his mother around. He stares at me, doesn't move or say a word. Then he gets closer and I noticed he has a snake like tongue and he is actually preparing to attack me. He is just another monster. He tries to snatch me with his tongue and I just have time to jump to the side and escape him. Turns out the woman was walking on the ceiling like a spider and also throwing her tongue to catch me at the same time. Instead both their tongues get entangled and when she pulls her tongue in she swallows the kid whole. I run away again through rooms and rooms, until I find a new level which looks more like the real world. I hear human voices, but not knowing what it is I hide in a room which looks almost normal, with a bed and sheets and even some light coming from some kind of window. I hide under the bed when I hear the voices approaching. It is two guys and they close the door behind them, looking scared and looking for something to block it. They seem human, so I decide to reveal myself. I don't want to startle them, so I whisper to get their attention. They are still spooked at first, suspicious of me, but they end up trusting I am also human. They say they were being chased by some being who looked like a giant leprechaun with two heads. And either he has two faces on the main head or he can send one of the faces down a tentacle-like arm and generate a second head at the end of his arm. The creature arrives at our door and starts pouncing on it heavily. I help them hold it up, but we know he will eventually break it, so I look around for something again that I can use as a weapon. There is some sharp metal thingy from the bed frame and I grab it. The monster finally blasts the door open and throws us down on the ground, but he doesn't come in right away, instead he peaks with his tentacle head first and I stab it with the sharp metal. The creature leaves in agonizing pain, but I still get to see its whole body and main head and it really looks like a leprechaun with a beard and some dusty brown clothing and a semblance of a hat.
    5. 9 Sep: Crashing a spaceship and lucidly exploring the microscopic world of a tree

      by , 09-09-2022 at 04:04 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      In a spaceship like the ones in Star Trek. It is a very large one and we're dangerously close to the surface of planet Earth doing some high risk maneuver, trying to escape some other spaceship in pursuit. This maneuver was never accomplished and our ship is shaking and creaking like it is falling apart, but it holds up. The other one doesn't and we watch it be ripped appart. Then, I am not sure if by the effect of our massive ship or something else happening on the planet, but the ground below is also breaking apart, I watch a road cracking and breaking apart and some high pressure water jets coming from underground hitting the ship. There is a part of the ship which was severely damaged, which breaks apart when hit by these water jets and falls into the surface. It brings me and a couple collagues down with it. We don't know what to do when on the ground. First we run after the ship (as if we were running after a car) but it is massive and it isn't stopping for us. Then we run through a town to find some specific place, I think maybe some place from where we can communicate with the ship. I and another girl, we lose track of our male colleague who was running ahead of us and he is the one with the coordinates. We emd up inside the building of an airport and I look for clues of where he might have headed. Anything. I find a decorative flower bed with some plaque identifying plants by numbers and I notice some numbers are not correlated to plant names as other numbers are and I assume it is a coded message he left for us, but it seems incomplete. My colleague thinks I am reading too much from nothing and that this was not made by him, it is just some random incomplete info on an abandoned airport.

      At my mom's, very early morning. But she isn't home, she is enjoying some well deserved vacations. Unexpectedly I have other family members with me, like my deceased uncle Zé F.. I am looking for bread, coffee and cereals to prepare breakfast. We have a TV in the kitchen and I am looking for some news or show to put on for my uncle and whomever else is with us. But all channels are playing weird stuff. On the public network they are playing some videoclip of hispanic rappers singing about gangs and I wonder why the hell they are playing that on what seems like a weekend morning. The videoclip grasps my attention as it is filmed in Lisbon. Then I am there, walking through old Lisbon. It's still early morning, so there are very few people on the streets, but groups are arriving and descending from buses. We're near some church or cathedral and I spot some weird poster on a wall that reads like a newspaper and ther is some news story that Greta Thunberg is dead in a car accident with her father. I am shocked and turn around to discuss it with someone but when I try showing them the poster where I read it, the poster is gone and I am confused. I decide to keep walking and I see a bunch of tourists hangin out and listening to a guide in front of the church. I realize they are catholic devotees. I think to myself this could be a lucid dream and I would use the chance to prank them.
      Then I realize it really is a dream. I think what to do and have no concrete idea, so I just lift off in the air to try to prank these believers by claiming to be some celestial apparition, but it doesn't go as planned. I feel a very intense undescribable sensation in my mind, as if I am not just flying, but dissolving from this dream reality and I get very dizzy. I notice the dream characters don't even notice me, so what's the point of trolling them. Instead I fly away from the city and over a hill full of trees and just enjoy the landscape while thinking what to do. I latch on to the top of the tallest tree I see and wonder what would it feel to shrink to microscopic level and explore its microscopic life. So slowly I shrink myself to the size of a bug and I go down inside a crevice on the tree trunk, feeling the textures of the wood and mosses and water dripping. Then slowly shrinking more. But I eventually reach a dark crevice with dirt and I can't see a thing and feel my body stuck and unable to move. I try not to panic, think about either shrinking more or just expand to full size and blow up the tree to get out. But I doubt my abilities for a second and then I no longer can't do any of it. I wait still for a little bit but the dream isn't changing, it's just me in a dark tight hole and I feel like I can't even turn my head. I am starting to panic and wondering if I am just experiencing sleep paralysis and not on a dream anymore. So I decide it is not worth it and it is better to wake up.
    6. 14 Apr: Everything moving backward except me and vertigo during a lucid

      by , 04-14-2022 at 08:50 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Riverstone is driving, he enters a roundabout but instead of moving forward, starts moving backwards. I wonder what's going on, but he also starts talking backwards. Everything is moving and happening backwards and then it starts moving faster and faster until it all becomes a blur and I lose consciousness.

      At a beach house with Riverstone. There are four cute white kittens in the house. I go around checking for more and find a disgusting bathroom. Besides the kittens, I am starting to regret these vacations. But then we meet a couple friends who are also vacationing at the next house and they bring along his friend, none other than Joseph Gordon-Levitt and I no longer regret coming. We have lots of fun, I try to casually get a selfie with him.
      Then there is also Angelina Jolie and for some reason she is upset with me.

      I start getting lucid. I don't know what I did to piss Angelina, but just for fun I engage with her and try to apologize, which makes her even more pissed. I get bored, decide to drop it and go outside. I find myself in some city streets, wonder what to do and decide not to waste any more time with frivolities. I wanna meet face to face with Vajrasattva. But where? I feel like I should be at some proper place before summoning the buddha. Then I spot a bridge with a 50 mt tower somewhere in the middle of it and I decide I'll do it at the top of it. I get to its base and look up. Then look down to the bridge railings and I feel vertigo. I tell myself it is not dangerous as I can even fly and be in control, but as soon as a lift off a few meters up, I feel to scared to continue. Everything looks too real and the vertigo just gets worse. So I wake up.
    7. 10 Feb: Nudism, falling into void lucid, party and funeral

      by , 02-10-2022 at 10:02 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At home with Riverstone, someone else and my dog Hachi. Strangely there is a balcony or deck over a cliff and we are chilling on lounge chairs. It reminds me of when I lounged in my parents balcony before they closed it. But this one is dangerous as there are no guard railings. I don't feel afraid, I am actually feeling totally happy as I never felt. I am even doing nudism and feeling comfortable in my naked body in the wind like I never felt before.


      I am walking down a corridor and it gets very dark, I feel like I am dropping out of the dream and I become lucid. I don't try to fight it, so I just free fall in the dark void with no expectation of what comes next. I just try to see the void as the nature of my mind and not be afraid of the referencelessness. I stop falling for some seconds and then I fall again, but I never try to control the outcome. Then finally it stops and I am in some dark room.

      At some party in a garden with a view over a city. I spot some bush with berries and I grab some to eat, but then find huge catterpillars in a gelatinous cocoon on the plant and it looks both awesome and disgusting. I show it to my mom. Then feel an itch in my hand and notice a big alergic reaction for having touched the berries and the slime of the cayterpillars. I rush to wash my hands.

      My mom is running a bakery but when I visit it, she is not there and I find strange that she left everything unfinished or out of place, like a cake half eaten on a table. I eat it, But she comes back soon and says one of her friends needs a ride somewhere and asks me if I can do it. It is inconvenient, but I offer to do it. He is going to a funeral. My dad offers to comes with me. Turns out that side by side with this funeral is also going on a funeral for my friend Nelson and I am shocked to find out this way that he died. For saving costs and the environment, the bodies are rapidly decomposed via a chemical process and in the end all that is left is a little biodegradable container with some liquid. Because both deceased expressed not wanting it to go anywhere, they just dispose of them both into some trash container and I am a bit upset. I wanted to pay homage to my friend some other way.
    8. 4 Feb: Future exoplanet war, WILD and lucid meditation, then chased by a demon and lost in backrooms

      by , 02-04-2022 at 09:55 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At a future scenario that feels a lot like a Myizaki's movie. We have colonies in distant planets but there are also vintage looking people and cities on Earth. One of those planets looks similar to one I know from a sci-fi book I read as a kid. It has big whale like animals that swim in the atmosphere. For some reason a rebel faction starts a war and someone shoots at these animals accidentally. This plays on the news and everyone is shocked.
      This rebel group turned ludite and wants to destroy our civilization, but everyone else is pacifist and doesn't want this war at all.
      I am on this planet and I receive a notification that we're in danger and we need to gather at a sports stadium nearby that also doubles down as an evacution site. People sit on floating cocoons that serve as private balconies to watch the games, when there are sports events, but which are also emergency pods that can close and leave the planet to one of our colonies on other planets. While we wait for developments, they keep us entertained by projecting holographically a game that happened on some previous occasion. It is undistinguishable from reality. One of the persons in our coccoon is a kid that lived with the ludites but is pacifist so he left them. He doesn't know our tech, so he keeps asking questions. He asks how do we distingiuish something real from an hologram. I explain it isn't easy and it is almost like telling th difference between a dream and waking life, some people just have that ability and others have to train to recognize it. I am one of those with the natural ability. I also have heightened senses and can hear what other people can't. And as I say this, I do hear something dangerous approaching. I warn others and we fly the coccoons above the stadium and see a fleet of rebels attacking one of our ships and coming towards the stadium. Luckily there are guardian drones that sit on the perifery and shoot anything getting too close. But any way, our pods close and take off immediately. The drones recognize our pods and don't shoot us, instead they make a formation to protect us from any incoming threat and clear a path so we can leave the planet safely.


      With my dad's family side and my mom, all gathered at some house. It looks like my grandma's house but it is also different. The kitchen looks pretty much unaltered, but in the place of the pantry, there is a cabinet with a TV and a VCR and I am rewinding some tapes looking for some shows I supposedly recorded, but I can't find them. My uncle Fernando comes in and tells me to quit. My two aunts are sitting there, just observing me and say to him that this is important to me. But eventually I give up and we all gather in a living room. It looks like the dining and living room of my grandma's together, but on the wrong side of the hallway. People are all sitting around the room on chairs and sofas sitting against the walls. My cousin Cris is also there, but so are other people I never met. I feel like my current self, but I am myself as a kid and I am on the floor playing with dolls. I think my mom told the family that I am autistic, so they are all observing me and not asking me questions or mocking me as usual. But I also find strange that they don't ask any questions about the autism. I also brought my present cats along, so then I freak out when I notice someone leaving a window open. I go around checking all the windows and asking people to please keep the windows shut. I then spot a cat, that could be Ginga but looks different, jumping to a ledge of a window through which some family member is talking to someone outside. Fortunately the cat is wearing a vest and I manage to grab her by the vest on time and pull her back in. Then back in the living room by uncle Carlos also keeps a window just slightly open and I explain to him the cats can still escape through there and he gets pissed when I close it. Then I do another tour and check the bathroom. All is fine.
      My mom then comes by and says they are announcing on the news that the Health Minister is dead with covid19 and I am shocked. But my mom is even more shocked and I wonder if this will get her to finally go vaccinate.
      Then I follow an unknown lady going to a balcony on the back of the house, where I believe she is going to smoke and certainly open a window. Actually when we arrive there, the window is already open. I take a peak outside, we are strangely located on like a 10th floor and I see on a roof down below a black cat and a black and white cat which I can't tell if they are dead or alive. The black one looks like Cuscus, so I call for him and he gets up. Both cats are alive but stuck on that roof. He immediately tries to jump up, but it's too high, so I wonder what is he doing. Then I see there is a metal structure on the wall for putting little pots for plants and it forms some sort of ladder that is climbable. So he climbs it and when he is close enough he jumps into my arms. The other cat also managed to get out of the roof in the meantime. So I take the black cat inside, not even yet sure if it is Cuscus, but I go look if there is another black cat in the house just to be sure. Then confusion ensues when some other guest arrives bringing some 3 other cats. I lose count of the cats.


      I tried to do a WILD. I focused on being aware as I fell sleep and almost immediately felt the rush of falling into sleep and the metallic noises of hypnagogia. When I open my dream eyes, I am in some scenario that looks like a hospital and I am meeting a friend who works there and another one who is being released or something. It feels like they are very familiar, like Riverstone and Nighthawk, but not looking like anyone I know and instead look like some american boys in their twenties. I also have a different look. And there is another girl in the group. I think the boys are a gay couple but I also love one of them. Anyway, once the one being discharged is with us, we all go walk down the street and I have kept my awareness all the way through, but just been watching everything unfold. The boy on the lead says something like "Where are we going?" or what is going on, and I use the chance to say that we are all dreaming and none of this is real. They react calmly and accepting. I suggest we just try to be mindful and rest in that awareness. So we all just sit on the floor and we meditate together. Whenever I feel the awareness fading, I focus on them and it really helps that they also look calm and focuse. I almost fall out of the dream a couple times, but I conjure some tokens with mantras and Buddha images and put them in front of us, saying we can look and touch them as a way to revive lucidity whenever it is starting to fail, and it works for some time, maybe more than I ever managed to stay lucid meditating. But eventually the dream fades and I feel my waking body. I don't move and I focus on getting back. I do go back but this time I land on a beach in what seems like ancient Mexico. There are some native ladies in their long skirts tending to some bonfires. I try to get back to my friends, but all that happens is that, like a mirage, a wall and a room within a room, appear to my right, where I can see the place we had just been sitting together, but I don't see them. I try to teleport there by just snapping my fingers and for a few seconds it works, but then I fall back to the beach. Tried again, wemt there a few more seconds and then fell bavk to the beach and the image of the wall and rooms disappear entirely and I can't seem able to summom it anymore. Then some kind of demon appears on the beach from behind the bonfires. It looks like an old womam with crazy hair walking on all fours and all the native ladies run away in fear. But the demon is after me. First I hide behind some shelter made with twigs sticking out from a pit in the sand. But she will eventually find me, so I decide to fight back instead. I fly a bit above the ground and wait for her to come. She has a kind of ax made of bones and I hope to snatch it from her and use it against her, but when we clash, in the middle of the struggle I just grab something else and hit her with it. Not sure what happened to the demon, because she dissapears and in her place come dozens of cave men figures running from all directions. Again I the mirage of wall with a door and I manage to cross it, landing on some backroom shit kind of place. that I feel I've seen before. It actually looks like a really nice office, but I sense a dark presence and know this is not a safe place. I try to cross it quickly, but all it's doors and windows just lead to more rooms. Until I spot a window to outside and focus strongly on it staying that way as I open it. And it does and I manage to reach the outside. Then I enter some normal dream in the time of Portuguese King Carlos I and the story is that he went on a balloon trip and had an accident due to bad weather and is lost in the countryside for 8 days until he gets back .
    9. 3 Feb: At a Matrix event looking for Keanu Reeves and becoming friend with Carrie-Anne

      by , 02-03-2022 at 09:57 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At a Matrix event, one of the movies will be playing and the actors are present. I am cosplayed as Trinity and I am determined to meet Keanu. I can't find him but I come across Carrie-Anne, who seems to be very familiar with some of my friends. She commends me for my cosplay. We take pics together, then she hangs out with us. Turns out she is pregnant and Zilla is also pregnants, so they won't stop talking about pregnancy. We head to theathre room to watch the movie and it is quite big and chaotic. People are all talking, lots of kids who only watched the 1st and dont know this one and are already trashing it. Meanwhile, I spot Keanu with some other actress friend at the front rows and I ask Carrie if she can introduce me to him because I must talk to him. She says ok, when the movie ends. But in the middle of the film she gets up to go to do something and doesn't seem to be coming back and then I see Keanu also sneaking out and being engulfed by fans asking for photos. I try to go after them, but then these kids also want to take pics with me, because of my cosplay. And other cosplayers want to act out scenes of the movies with me, for a laugh and I lose Keanu. Outside on the street is a big crossroad with a square in the middle. It's a mess because there is some protest with thousands of people who are on strike for something, plus everiday people going about their lives. I become semi-lucid and consider teleporting out of there and just aim directly to those I wanna meet. Then realize I am dreaming. But I cant focus, it feels too chaotic. So instead I decide to walk go up a street and find some place quieter. I step inside an arcade (tunnel) outside the building to my left and keeo walking forward until I reach a building entrance with a very vintage look and I feel drawn inside. It seems some old abandoned mall and I decide to finally teleport out of here by just walking through a door as a portal. But before I even do anything, I hear Carrie-Anne's voice on the other side of the door so I open it and it is some old school pharmacy and she is buying some medicine from the pharmacist. She is excited to see me. Wonders how the hell I found her and I tell her is was mere coincidence. She tells the pharmacist "She does these things! I wasn't coincidence!" He looks at her like we are crazy, he doesnt believe ít is more than coincidence. Then I tell her I was looking for her because Keanu left and I wanted to see him. She says not to worry, because she can take me to see him.

      Updated 02-10-2022 at 10:32 AM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid
    10. 16 Jan: Consultancy work, military coup and keep running away from my dad

      by , 01-16-2022 at 10:37 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      Working at a restaurant. One day we have to close early because there is some problem with vampires going on. Not really sure.
      But then we go back to business as usual. I am also doing a side hustle receiving farmers and agri-business clients at the restaurant, to do consultancy and certification for them. One day my parents come visit me there and some client asks me for free information and I refuse to give it a way. My father just doesn't get it and he starts shaming me and trying to tell the person what he wants to know. I have to intervene and clarify that he is providing wrong data. Then my dad gets really upset and says he has been listening to me and he has heard me making such recommendations to other customers before. I explain to him that I am doing consultancy to different types of farmers, and he isn't qualified to understand the differences. I also explain that I don't just provide info for free or I ruin my source of income. Normally, he should understand the idea and even defend it, but this time he is just disappointed and lectures me about principles and I just can't take anymore. He shifts positions so that nothing that I do is ever ok. I just want to leave and to get away faster I fly away and I become lucid
      . I just enjoy flying and then walking through the city, which is a giant maze of buildings, streets, gardens, stairs, never ending and with so much complexity and detail. I marvel at the complex design of this city, then I stop at some street vendors and also marvel at the feeling of textures of fabrics and foods they are selling. I smell some food items and I chose a biscuit to taste. All senses are incredibly detailed and I am simply enjoying it, no other goals.
      Then I see some tanks on a road from a perpendicular street and I go check it out. People on the sidewalks are nervous and they are being handed some device similar to a pager which shows them instructions. It says it will be activated on a certain date and will provide info that people should follow. Seems a bit authoritarian to me and I am concerned, so I go around trying to get more info from other people. But soldiers come down from the tanks and tell us to line up and look at their parade or else they'll consider it disrespecful. Then I spot a suspicious dude driving a bus after them, with what seems a bomb ready to explode. And indeed he jumps out of the bus, which then smashes into a tank and explodes. The guy disappears in the crowd and the military are too numb from the explosion to go after him, but I do. I spot him and he notices that I am chasing him. He tries to lose me, but eventually I grab him. He doesn't struggle much, because he doesn't want to bring attention to us, but he asks what I want from him in an agressive tone. I tell him I just want to know who he is and what he stands for. I tell him that I dislike any authoritarian military government, but I do not support anyone putting bombs unless their cause is worthy and I want to know if his cause his worthy, so I can help. He doesn't want to say anything, keeps shaking me away and I keep folowing him and asking questions. Then I spot my dad, pretend not to see him, but he sees me and calls for me. I lose sight of the guy I was chasing and my dad catches up with me. I keep walking away, because I really don't wanna talk. I enter the back gate of my university (not my university in real life) and continure to a path on the right, trying to go inside a building and lose him. But I enter the wrong door and it takes me down some spiral staircase that keeps going down and down and has closed doors on each floor, so I decide to turn back up and I bump into him, as he kept following me. I just wanna get rid of him, so I try to break into one of the doors along the staircase and it opens to the backrooms of a kitchen. From there I try to find a way into the main halls of the building, while avoiding being spotted by the staff because I don't want to upset them. I do find a door with glass windows on top, which opens to the canteen and I see lots of familiar faces on the line. People like Jigme K. and his brother, L. Vicente and some of my friends. My dad is still behind me, but now I get lost in the crowd and surrounded by my friends and acquaintances I feel relaxed.
    11. 9 Jan: Flying lucid and dating my school crush

      by , 01-09-2022 at 10:09 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I am taking pics and for the first time I got lucid from the always obvious dream cue that I can never take a photo. I look around and I am in a city, surrounded by lots of people. I start flying over them. I want to know if any of them is aware we are dreaming, so I tease them, but they all act like zombies who couldn't care less of someone flying, so just DCs with no reaction. I lose lucidity.

      In my teens, walking down the street with Big Bad Wolf, from school to home. We are adting but in secret. He wants to touch me badly, but our school colleagues are nearby and we don't want them to know. Anyway, he stops like pretending to look at something and whispers that he can't take it anymore. I touch his arm soflty and say "wait". Then he goes past me, inside a gate to some guys' farm, who sells fruits and goes buy something to take home, and use that time to clear his head. One of my female colleagues approaches me and with a smirk says "So, I can see love is in the air". I deny, embarassed, but she doesn't buy it.
      I keep going all alone. It's getting dark when I arrive at the main road leading home. I spot a couple rats running away and I follow them. They stop at some trash bags lying on the ground, looking for food. They find nothing but tissue and cardboard and start chewing on it. I try to stop them, worried about their health. Then I look for food in my bag, find a couple pieces of bread and give it to them.
      Finally at home, but not living with my parents. I am in the apartment I lived in near my mother some years ago. I recognize the kitchen, although it is like 3 times its real size and looks more like a supermarket. There are really long shelves on the wall with lots of food. I go check what's expiring, so I cook something out of it and find lots of weird foods I would never buy. Then my mom comesfor a visit and sees some cookies and powdered milk I selected and put on the table and she says she'll bake me a cake with it. Then I am looking for the trash cans and other itens in the kitchen and find a bursted water pipe leaking to the trash cans and all the trash flowing to the floor.
    12. 14 Dec: My grandma is secretly from Canada and gang bang with strangers in a family reunion

      by , 12-14-2021 at 09:54 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      I am with my parents and maybe some more family members. Some woman comes by and says she has info about my paternal grandma. Says she was actually from Canada and came to Portugal and got citizenship and got married and nobody ever knew about it. I am baffled, but also don't see how that changes anything about my identity. My dad explains he hired this lady to investigate this. My mom steps in and starts rambling about meaningless stuff, making my dad yell at her. He tells her this is important business and she is talking about totally unrelated stuff. The lady leaves but there is a promise she will come back to share more info.
      We gather around a table to feast. it is some family reunion and there are lot of yummy things on the table. For some reason I get horny looking at some carrots. So I pick up a carrot and go alone to another room. I sit on a couch and play with the carrot ( you know what I am talking about). Then some bunch of guys enters the room and face me in an awkward position with a carrot. They don't say a word and their faces are in shock.
      At first I feel I wanna disappear, but then on the back of my head there is this slight trust that none of this is real so I decide to go for it and propose them to fuck. After the initial shock, they actually go for it, so they line up and one at a time, they drop their pants and bang me. I had several orgasms for real without waking up. On maybe the third I do wake up, but hang in there between dream and wakefulness and the orgasm lingers in a limbo, without really ending for quite some time. When I fully wake up, I am still feeling the rush for some time after.
    13. 8 Dec: Friend's house turns into hostel, lucid encounter with my teacher

      by , 12-08-2021 at 04:35 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      With Riverstone and Nighthawk at what I think is his place. There is a table with a feast and we are chillin. He is laying down on the couch. We have some weird interaction and I feel like he wants to speak with Riverstone alone, so I leave. He says he has some IT issues and hints that I might help out, so I offer to do so and he instructs me to go to an office room down the hallway. Outside on the hallway it feels like a hostel or guest house, not a private house. And indeed the office looks more like a cyber café, with dozens of computers and printers and people on many desks. I sneak peak into someone's work and seems like he is writting a thesis. I spot a pc that is the only one without someone working on it. By its side there are also some papers, of someone clearly working with it and maybe on a break, and I almost decide to steal the pc and leave with it, but then I don't. Instead I need to pee and go look for a bathroom. Weirdly, I have to go out on the street and walk back and forth some stone stairway at the top of some avenue, because the toilet stalls are all lined up on the sides of the street and stairway. I finally find one free, but despite my efforts, can't pee. (Wake up and really need to pee)

      I am in some weird surreal place, at first can't really characterize it, but looks kinda hellish, a barren land with a lake of lava or black oil on fire. I notice there is a big fuss and some dudes are fighting with some weird kind of weapons, and I try to walk away discreetly, but then all eyes turn to me because I have on my hands a bigger and more spectacular weapon than theirs. The weapons are hard to describe, but are sort of an eliptical light saber which we grab in the middle (which is void, maybe some kind of force field, but my hands can hold it). Everyone feels like I am challlenging them, so they stop fighting and start attacking me instead. I fight them off easily.

      I think I start becoming lucid and just drop the dream. Find myself in a dark empty space and decide to rip apart the dream fabric, quite literally, like a paper scenario. Behind it is total void and I plunge into it. The fall is short and I land with my back onto what appears to be the lower bed on a bunkbed. To my right is a wall, to the left is another bunkbed. People are sleeping in those. I get up and when walking to the door I have this clear feeling I should look up to whomever is on the top bunkbed. He just raised his head. It is my teacher. He smiles and extends his hand. I grab his hand and kiss it. I smile back and say "I am finally here" and we just smile at each other for a while. He comes down. A male attendant also gets up from another bed. I am surprised he can also see me. My teacher walks outside with me, and we are followed by his attendant, who is acting like a body guard, but not against me, against anyone else we might come across. We enter some kitchen or canteen and my teacher sits on a chair. I am holding his hand still and I lay my head on his lap and wrap my arms around his waist. He suggests I get a chair to and sit, but I hesitate, because I don't want to move. Eventually I agree to get a chair, but then wake up.

      Updated 12-08-2021 at 10:28 PM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    14. 26 Sep: Party at art gallery and exploring the nature of the mind lucid

      by , 09-26-2021 at 11:08 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some party, like at an art gallery, and there is Riverstone and a bunch of other people. They are serving lots of desserts in long tables in different rooms and I am planning to indulge in as many as I can. But as I grab a plate and go back to get some of what I have seen, I find them mostly gone and manage to grab only 3 tiny cake slices before finding that the buffet is over and immediately removed and all the tables are now exhibiting jewellery and other art pieces. I feel frustrated but they say they announced the time limit ahead and have a very strict policy about it.
      Then I sit down and realize there is some sort of lecture going on the next room, but then it is no longer at this gallery but at my grandparent's old house and it is a meeting of some Jeovah's witnesses with my grandpa in his kitchen. I am sitting there and continuing to eat my cake slices and I see their judgemental looks over my glutony. When they get up to leave I walk them to the door and outside the hallway looks like a school hallway and not my granparent's building. I go explore and feel a mix of joy and freedom as I feel transported to my highschool years. I go around dancing and levitating and my dance becomes a bit more sexy and dirty and I think I even pole dance a little when I find some random pole in the hallways. As I encounter some prude teachers who start judging me, at some point I go blatanly sexual and expose my private parts. They go away in shock.
      Further ahead I spot a teacher of mine telling another student some story about me. So apparently some teacher had asked another one about the students in our class, and the second one mentioned I was a total devil. But when she arrived to the classroom she was so surprised to see that I was this quiet little angel instead and they are discussing how I could hide it so well or something. I want to know more about it, so I come to them and ask what else happens in the story. They get spooked and say that is none of my business and leave.

      Tired of all these people I start becoming aware of the dream and levitating high up in the air. From above I see hundreds of people coming and going, entering and leaving buildings, like little ants. Then realize I am also a little ant just like them. I think about what to do in this lucid dream, but have no idea, so I decide I"ll just watch whatever happens. Then I start spotting fleeting rainbows in the sky, reflected on windows, basically everywhere. and I think about how they are a metaphor for the nature of the mind. So I start trying to catch them. I spot a rainbow shining against a wall and I am close enough to touch it. It turns into a pattern of our brains white matter. As I focus on it, everything around starts turning blue, like I am inside a tub of dark blue jello. I think this might be another level of insight into the nature of the mind and I want to find answers. I start to see some letters and numbers forming and make an effort to decode it, but the thick jello makes it hard to read it clearly. In the ned it seems just like I am looking at some comemorative metal plaque on a wall and seems to mention the European Union or something and I feel really disappointed. Try again, same thing. So I get bored and try to get out of this blue stuff and get back into a normal world with people. I walk among them and decide to make another experiment. I want to go through them instead of treatint them like real people and see what happens. The first ones it feels weird, like I just actually push them to the sides and not really go through them. So they get mad at me and try to grab me, but it is like I have a force field around me and they can't touch me. I keep bulldozing through the crowd at ease. And then some start treating me like a goddess with super powers and start following me around. The group of annoying followers is growing and they are too clingy, so I find jewels on the ground and offer to them to distract them. It works. Then someone says I am getting phone calls on my cell phone and I break lucidity while trying to figure out where my cell phone is and who might be calling.
    15. 11 Sep: Some post-catastrophe scenario and raping Slender Man

      by , 09-11-2021 at 09:25 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      It's a freezing weather and some type of post-apocalyptical secnario or post-catastrophe situation. I am with some people at some place that looks a cross between my mom's home and a public hospital. For saving energy and heat, I suggest we close down some rooms for good and keep open only the ones with stuff we need. Then we gather in a few interior rooms which are more insulated.
      Things get better later and some group is able to reach us. There are some famous faces among them. They are our contact with the exterior so I prepare a plan with some of my friends in which one of us goes with them when they go out again. My friends chose me to go, because they secretly conspire for me to hook up with a guy from the other froup, who is drop dead gorgeous and hot but he is clearly out of my league to even consider it. But I also secretly feel some hope once they mention it, so I go. Later on for some reason I do a prank to everyone on the group, by attacking them with cans of whipped cream in spray that I come across. They don't react so well, they look disgusted and humiliated but decide to ignore it. We still finish our mission and we eventually come back to get all the others.

      Some surreal dream on a ship I can't recall. Then it is night and from the deck of the ship I see some dock below and a woman running away from a slender dark figure. I go down there and ask someone if they saw the woman being chased. I am told that a slender man has been terrorizing people, especially women, in the area. So I keep looking around trying to find them. I never see the woman again but Slender Man appears.
      First I freak out, but then I tell him he just met the one who will take him down. He laughs at me and for a second I doubt myself, but I am mildly aware that I am in control, so I stay firm. He tries to grab me and I sink my hand into his thigh. He screams in agony. I tell him I can rip him apart and I cause him more and more pain, until he is contorting on the ground. He starts losing his scary demonic look and now just seems like a very tall thin man dressed in black with a tall black hat. I feel horny with power, so I order him to undress. Turns out his got a nice body and I decide to abuse him as a way to subjugate him. He looks so scared and confused. I mention to him that I am dreaming and I can do anything I want. I tell him I want to rape him, so to keep undressing. I manifest some kind of really long black dildo and I sodomize him while somehow also riding it. I actually have an orgams from it in the dream and in RL.
      So I think slender man will be out of business for some time 😂

      On vacation in Belgium with mom and Riverstone. Somehow we are staying in an apartment full of our stuff and even my cats, so I am concerned about packing it all for the return travel coming in in a few days. But they want to go on a 3 day tour up north by the sea and I end up giving up on packing up. It's summer, sunny and the ocean is turquoise blue and gorgeous. But the towns are already putting up Xmas decorations.I find it so odd but it all looks so lovely, my mom gets very emotional.
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