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    Nightmares

    1. 30 Oct: Abused by my father and being in a movie

      by , 10-30-2022 at 06:42 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Sleeping in my bedroom with a friend who's staying over. We're at my old parents house, in my parent's bed, because it's bigger for the two of us. My mom is sleeping in the couch or not at all. Then I wake up very early morning and my dad is laying behind me, I have no panties and he is penetrating my anus. I feel totally disgusted and get up in a jolt and punch him, saying that it was the last drop. My friend wakes up spooked. I make a scene dropping all my anger on him and saying I am no longer treating him as my dad and that I lost the last ounce of respect I had for him. I go to the bathroom to wash myself. Meanwhile my mom heard some noise and woke up and came to see what's up. I hide in the bathroom and don't want to tell her. My friend doesn't know what to say and my father comes up with some excuse. Anyway, the dawn comes, so I pretend I just woke up early and I am preparing for school normally. After I get dressed, I go to the kitchen to have some breakfast and through the open window enters a raven. At first I try not to scare it away but then he makes sounds as if he wants some help, so I grab some food and approach to see if he wants. Then I notice he has a broken jaw and a broken beak and looks awfully thin. Was probably hit by a car and is in pain. I pick him up and take him to my bedrooms' balcony. I look for some box to put him in but all I find is some pillow. I drop him on it and tell him I will be back soon to care for him. I think about calling the wildlife protection services when I cross paths with my mom in the hallway and she is with three male and a couple female brazilian teens from her evangelical church (when she attended church). The guys come from the bathroom where they were washing hands and the girls have a tiny kitten in their hands and they are all saying they adopted him and she begs them not to abandon him when he grows up. They seem a bit overwhelmed with the long term commitment. I see my dad again coming out of the kitchen and wanting to make amends with me and I yell that I'll never allow him to touch me again and he may stop expecting us to have any sort of relationship. My mom hears this and she doesn't understand what's going on. Thinks I am being harsh with him and makes a sympathethic look towards him. I still don't wanna tell her what happened, just say this is how it's going to be from now on.
      [Note: my dad was always a bit of a creep, but I have no conscious memory of him abusing/raping me, despite my dreams about it]

      I'm watching Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid movie. At the end, when I think they died I get the message that they actually never die and that there are multiple films after this one in which they always come back miraculously from their apparent death at the end of every film. I am surprised and happy to know it. The I am actually the lady who is their lover in the film and I am at home waiting for them. I casually tidy up the house which has some active fires from some small explosions that took place earlier in the movie and then I start putting food in a fridge. When they return, I scold them but I really feeling happy that they are alive.
    2. 16 Sep: Visiting myself as a toddler, befriending a poor girl and reliving a past trauma

      by , 09-16-2022 at 04:02 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Driving near my home, on the street perpendicular to the one with cat colony, and I spot an airplane flying very very low in circles. At some point I am sure it will crash. It is flying on its side and one wing hits an old stone wall on the edge of a plot of land. Miraculously, the plane doesn't crash right away and the pilot manages to straigthen it up and land on the narrow road besides it. But the airplane is all crumbled and broken. Some populars gather around to see and comment the situation but nothing agressive. Still, the pilot, who comes out unharmed, feels attacked and starts shouting and insulting everyone and telling them to go away.
      Somehow in the middle of this crowd I meet a time traveller. A guy tells me he invented time travelling and it's fine to go back and even meet yourself. I tell him I want to go back to some moment in the past. We land at some day when I was a toddler and my parents left me at the care of my grandmother. We knock at her door pretending to be salespeople. Back then everything was so much more simple and people trusted each other, so she invites us in and shows her she is feeding her granddaughter grapes. As my colleague sits down to talk about the fake deal with my grandma, I ask if I can hold the baby and feed her. She allows and I sit at a table holding my chubby toddler self and I feed her grapes. But I find the grapes are way too big and I might choke on those, so I chew them into smaller pieces, but my baby me rejects those. I ask my grandma why she is rejecting since it is easier to eat and swallow and she says she probably just doesn't want anymore grapes and that she has some sweets for her now. She hands me down some type of cake that has a crunchy white outside and is filled with a yummi creamy brown interior loaded with nuts and almonds. Once again, I don't think it is appropriate to feed these to the baby, both for the sugar content and the nuts she can choke on, so I again bite smaller chunks to feed the baby and in the meanwhile, I eat most of it myself because it's really yummi. Back in the future, my new friend has his machine and a big white board with formulas and notes in some small garage owned by some other guy. Incredibly, this other guy doesn't believe he actually time travels, so he goes back just a little bit just to write something on the white board and we in the present see it magically appearing on it. The time traveller guy had also been to the future recently and checked that his friend will still be offering him shelter in his garage for years to come, so him believing in it or not is irrelevant, he just needs a low-key place to keep it discreetly away.

      Parking with Riverstone at a parking in front ot some buildings, I am approached by a little girl who looks like a gipsy in ragged clothes. She asks for something, I can't hear exactly what. I have nothing I can offer, but I tell her I will bring something next time. Then we go inside the building, and the house we're in is similar to my mother's. We sit on the bed of my mom's room watching tv. The kid returns and I invite her in, because I want to know more about her needs. She is amazed at all my dolls and plushies. First, I think about letting her chose which one she wants, but then I recall I have lot more others in storage that I don't like as much and I prefer donating. So I ask her where she lives so I can go there one day with gifts and she takes me downstairs and around the building to show an apartment tower just behind us. Some windows on like the second floor are open and I see a large family inside, some of them at the window. I tell her I'll give my phone number to her so she can call me but she says she already has my phone. I wonder how.

      I am taking a shower at some place I don't recognize, but feels like home. Someone comes inside the bathroom and because my shower curtains ar way too short and don't close well, I see it is my *** . I feel embarassed and focus on pulling the curtains to close them as much as possible, but he pushes them a little open so he can peek. I feel awful and angry and I tell him to stop. He feels entitled to do it and I don't understand. I want to run away, I grab towels and cover myself. Then I remember I am a fully grown adult now and I really don't have to put up with his shit. So I tell him that and threathen to beat his ass if he doesn't just disappear and leave me alone.
    3. 28 Sep: People and demons trying to kill me all night

      by , 09-28-2021 at 11:07 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Someone trying to kill me. Can't recall details.

      At what appears to be some back offices of some warehouse. Some lady and her daughter went in there as customers wanting to complain of something. I am alone in an office with them. They turn into some kind of mutant aligator-mouth canibals and want to eat me and someone else who just came in. The younger lady catches the other guy and kills him and I am trying to escape the older lady, but the exit is blocked by the corpse of the other man being eaten and I am stuck, climbing shelves and throwing things at her. She manages to bite my hand and it is really painful. But I hit her with something and escape. Manage to hold on to some ropes or cables from the ceiling and try to escape through the false ceiling, but get entangled in the cables. she keeps tying to reach me and sometimes manages to take a painful bite in an arm or leg. I hold on for dear life and then 3 unlucky guys from some next door offices come by and they attack them instead, giving me time to escape. I lock the door behind me, but then feel sorry for the poor guys and unlock it again, to offer them a chance to escape, even knowing that also gives the monsters a chance to kill more. As I escape down a hallway that has a wide window view to that room, I see them laying the 3 dead man in line and ripping flesh from their limbs, all happy like kids with new toys.

      I am at my mom's house, at my old bedroom, looking at my closet for some clothes to wear and suddenly I have to run away as some crazy serial killer is in the house and tries to kill me. I take the elevator and decide to hide in the tiny compartment that exists under the stairs at the ground floor. If he doesn't know the building, he won't even look at it. Unfortunately this killer has some kind of sixth sense of super hearing. He comes across someone at the entrance lobby and they say good morning or whatever and in that meantime I breathe a bit deeper and he looks back and sees the door and instinctively knows I am in there. When that other person leaves, he grabs me and then I blank. When I wake up somewhere else, turns out he is the devil, but a sexy devil. And with him are two ladies looking like prostitutes with goat legs and hoofs. He has sex with both of them and somehow I get involved and feel him penetrate me. I confess it was actually hot and pleasurable, but I don't want to turn into one of his whores, so I try to escape again. We are in some kind of house in the middle of nowhere and I can't get out. He then tries to poison me and also the other ladies, because they actually saw me trying to escape and did nothing to stop me. He orders us to drink some pasty thing that tastes like hell. I hope it won't kill me for just putting it in my mouth, so I do but do not swallow. Then spit it out as soon as I can. He takes us to a giant bed but then it is no longer a closed bedroom but in the middle of a very populated place like a stadium and the bed is like a stage and everyone is in some concert/event. I mingle with the people and meet lots of familiar faces from my school years. Then there is a football game for old times sake and as it used to happen, nobody wants me on their team. But this time I kick balls (literally) and right away score a goal and then more. All the guys are kinda upset with me, even those in my own team, because they aren't playing shit and they feel embarassed. So they stop playing and leave. I then realize I was left alone with just some child and some guy and this place is now like a deserted building we are trapped in. Outside is a completely different planet and the atmosphere isn't breathable. Here we will die, so we decide to make a run to a spaceship parked a few dozen meters away from the building. The gravity and air pressure is the same as on Earth and the air isn't toxic but has very little oxygen and so we can only hold our breath or breathe it for a little while before passing out. We hold our breath and run for it but we collapse half way, just in time to see a ship approaching and a bunch of my friends coming out to rescue us
      .
    4. 7 Aug: Love affairs and chased by panthers

      by , 08-07-2021 at 07:17 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Hanging out with Riverstone and Nighthawk. We are sitting on the floor or something like a big mattress, we are talking and playing some game. I am closer to Nighthawk, who is to my right and Riverstone is across the floor/mattress, opposite of us and a bit more distant. I am sharing something with Nighthawk and naturally there are hands touching, then I lean over his leg. With innocence, I stay close to him and we kinda cuddle up. I caress his leg, he caresses my hair and it is the most natural thing in the world. But Riverstone gets all jealous and threatens him. Says if he chooses to go down that road, their friendship is over and to think it through. I say it doesn't have to be like that, but he insists I have to chose. And I say "don't make me chose because you won't be the winner." But for the moment we all break apart to clear the mood. I go outside and I get to some platform from which emergency stairs go down. I see I am really high up. There is a river below and I see some people floating on some platforms that I understand are pieces being placed at a construction project on the river, maybe a bridge is gonna be built. On the shore I see a grizzly bear approaching a person, doesn't seem aggressive though, so I keep quiet. But then someone comes and warns of another bear climbing up the stairs and we climb down this structure through the sides, avoiding the stairs. When we reach ground floor, unfortunately we encounter two black panthers someone keeps on a chain, leaving only a few centimeters of space between them, through where we can pass and is damn scary. We have to go inside the building to go out through the front door, but the panthers break the chains and we have to run up the emergency stairs again, keeping in mind the bear and the panthers. A lot of parkour and climbing and dangling dangerously dozens of meters above the ground, but we kinda escape. Then I spot my cat Yéti on the ground and the panthers going after him. Luckily they don't harm him, he escapes, but I now want to rescue him at all cost. I go down again and devise a plan to lock the panthers in some room. Doesn't go well and I lock myself with Yéti in a room, while one panther escapes to the street and the other tries to break our door down. I go out through the window but the one outside catches my foot and I wake up from the pain of the bite.

      Updated 08-07-2021 at 07:20 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    5. 14 Jun: Hit and run and consumed by remorse, UFOs among us and learn to program them

      by , 06-14-2021 at 03:34 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      I am a college student and I hit and run a man and left him bleeding to death on the road. My thought was that he was going to die anyway, before help arrived and so I rationalized that fleeing wouldn't ruin even more lives, namely mine and of those around me who would suffer immensely if I was convicted of manslaughter. So I decided to run away and pretend I had nothing to do with it and act normally. I was absolutely sure I could pull it off, even when the police appeared on campus and started investigating the students.
      I am heading to the library and the detectives are in the corridor talking to people and my paranoid mind believes a couple of them seem to be watching every movement I make and my facial expressions. I do get a bit nervous and I bump into a table and throw an ashtray to the ground, but I am already out of their sight. At the library I steal some chips from some kid who has a bag of chips open on his table. He doesn't even flinch. Wonder if that's because he is my friend or he just fears me. I go meet a friend at the most far back table and he is playing a computer game with cars and he is very proud that he managed to fit a car with a long hood into the back of a truck cabin and make a weird truck trailer, just to prove his smart and ability to bend the rules and codes of the game. I couldn't care less and cars actually trigger me at the moment, but I engage with his enthusiasm, to not raise suspicion. Later on I meet a group of friends, who are all very shocked with the events. One of the girls (looks my old friend Mara) says she would have no mercy for whomever the killer is. I feel very uncomfortable that I am the person and imagining if it is ever found out.
      We go for a walk outside the campus and we pass by the road where the accident happened, but they don't know that. There is no longer any sign of what happened, besides a patch of sand the authorities spread to soak up the blood. But my friends don't know, they have no idea where the accident happened, so "Mara" asks what is this for and I swiftly say probably to cover some oil spill. They look at me a bit strangely and I say I am just guessing. We arrive at some snack-bar / pub by the side of the road, where they like to go, and the cops and detectives are gathered there. This makes me anxious. There is also Master Harry, a Scott who is like the keeper of the campus. He spots us and invite us along. But my friends feel super interested in talking to the cops. The owner of this place is a surfer and has a long board decorating the place, above our heads and one of the detectives apparently also surfs so they engage in conversation regarding the long board. I am not interested.
      Then the older detective throws me a bate, by teasing me about a plant cared by the bar owner. I am not the least interested. He asks me stuff like if I can identify it, if I'd like to have one too and what I think about this guy managing to have one in this climate. And I am like "why should I care?". Then he shows me it is a pineapple and asks me if I shouldn't I be more enthusiastic about plants. I realize he already knows too much about me and my interests, which means I am a suspect. I do have a greenhouse that I care for meticulously at my parents house and I care a lot about plants, just not in this context with the stress I am feeling. I am seeing my life going down the drain. I don't know how they know, but they already suspect it was me, and are just trying to catch me. I think about my plants dying if I am arrested and I feel extremely sad for that, more than anything else.


      Back to previous dream. I am not caught yet, but I am going crazy with the guilt and duplicity. I have to deal with several people related to the victim and the feeling that I am keeping this secret from them and they would hate me if they knew the truth is consuming me. I am wishing to go to some island where nobody knows me and start a new life.
      I am staying at some pension of a lady who isn't particularly fond of me. She complains of something I supposedly did in the kitchen and asks me to clean it, but I am relieved to know it is just a silly thing I didn't even do. She has no clue that some other night I was drunk and peed in the kitchen. So I go look into the fridge and instead of cleaning whatever, I steal something, like some cheese and bread to make a sandwich. Then I hear her talking to her daughter, who just arrived from school and is complaining about something. Her mother says "well, you're not doing anything, because her mom is Carolina Herrera and nobody dares to upset that family at this moment, because of the terrible thing that happened to her dad."
      They are talking about the man I killed. I feel guilty again and run to my room. The room looks like my mom's office and there are tigers outside of the window trying to come in, so I rush to shut all the openings and lock the door.


      At my mom's house, It's night and I look outside. I spot a UFO, just a white light orb dancing around at distance. Then I spot another one, static and the first one moves towards the still one and then they both move away. During the day I spot one again in the sky. I start seeing them a lot. One day I spot one very small just hovering a street. I now am able to spot them all over the streets, spying on people, unaware of them. Only I seem to be able to see them. with the help of some friends, I capture one. It is the size of a basketball and it loses the ability to camouflage when offline. I show to my friends, who believed me but had never seen one themselves. I teach my friends how to spot them, and we can see them in the sky, in strategic places, positioned in geometric clusters. They form ice crystal like shapes with arms connecting them inside pentagonal areas. These bigger structures seem to be regulating the climate or other purposes. The little ones at the street level are watching us on a daily basis.

      Back to the dream. Me and my friends are now a rebel force meeting in secret and collecting data on these UFOs, trying to understand what they are here for. One day, I am on a bus ride with one of this friends and we spot one in the sky, after a long time not seeing them. We wondered if they found a new way to cloak or had simply disappeared. Then we see two jets flying on each side of the orb but at some point leaving and the orb staying fixed in a position. Me and friend point to it but no one else seems to see it. As I point to it, I feel like I am pushing a button and the orb opens up into a square of squares of different size, like a virtual keyboard. On top rows are bigger blue squares and bellow are smaller red squares. So I do what I did before and also pretend to click them as if they are buttons. I push a random combination of keys. The UFO/keyboard disappears and immediately strange things happen, like some cars on the road going bananas as if they lost their electronics, and going over the rails and crashing. We rush to meet with the others and tell them what happened. They are a bit incredulous, but I explain maybe all orbs are programmable but we need to crack the code and see which combinations do what. Then the girl who usually brings us food comes in looking scared. Says the building is surrounded and they threatened her. Everyone wonders how they found us and I say I actually told them and it is part of a bigger plan, but they think I am just crazy and are in shock that I did that. I seem to have a really intricate plan, but I wake up before finding out.

      Updated 06-14-2021 at 03:38 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    6. 20 Mar: Rescuing cats, parasites and toxic bugs, superman alter-egos

      by , 03-20-2021 at 11:42 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At a house which appears to be Carla's home. There's my mom and my grandpa along with a bunch other people, as if they all live together there. There is an earthquake and I suggest we get out while it is happening, but my mom points out that grandpa can't get up and walk on his own. So while we're doing our best to lift him, the earthquake stops. People feel like it is ok to stay, but I go check the house and some rooms look dangerously affected, with awful cracks on walls and ceiling. I insist on evacuating everybody and I manage to grab my grandpa on my own over my shoulder and take him away, but then mom and a friend remind me about all the cats that live there and especially like to gather on the rooms that are most damaged. I tell them I will get them all to safety, and I start grabbing them two at a time and putting them in improvised boxes and containers to a safer area of the building, and closing these rooms shut. But there seem to be more and more cats popping up. At some point the corner room that was more damaged, is really coĺapsing and the cats are just there hanging out like totally oblivious of the danger upon them.

      At some modern house with glass walls and straight lines over a grassy hill. There is a bunch of kids that come over for activities and I am somewhat responsible for them. We are playing with a radio broadcaster or similar and I am thirsty so I go drink a glass of water. It tastes horribly and I notice it is orange like it has rust in it. I go check our water source, some kind of well, and it is poisoned by two kinds of dead processionary caterpillars, one of them which is orange and black and I've never seen before. Doesn't seem very safe. Meanwhile I spot a bunch of them on the ground and before the kids or dogs touch them, I rush to pick them all and put them on a bucket. But on doing so, I grab some soil that is infested with different bugs and worms and there are some thin long ones that I think are baby earthworms, until one gets between my fingers and finds a way through my skin. It is so thin and slimy I can't get a hold of it and it enters inside my hand. I can feel it moving and it is exasperating and painful. I go to the doctor immediately and she gives me really grim news saying I just drunk water with a deadly toxin and have inside me the worst parasite that grows the larger of all. She says I have also been bitten twice by a black widow and I'm like "when was that, because I didn't complain about any of that?". She starts me on treatment but says the prospects aren't the best. I cry like a baby and say I'll never again even step outside the safety of a city.

      Me and Riverstone run a little shop with everything from new and used clothes to a books and antiques and we also have a few boxes with stuff for free that people can just take. Some lady is interested in used baby clothes as she can't afford brand new clothes and I am having difficulty in finding it in the middle of the mess the shop is in at the moment. She asks if some stuff she likes can be taken for free and Riverstone says yes, because he is overwhelmed by the excess stock we have, but I think it is very sellable stuff so I say no to her. Meanwhile the lady is waiting regarding the baby clothing and I tell her to come back the next day and I'll have the stuff she wants. That's when I notice she is a little person.
      Then I see some other customer sitting on a stone slab outside where some slug like creatures are sneaking behind him and because of my previous dream with worms, I panic and warn him about it. Still, one of them hooks itself on his back, like a leech. Fortunately we manage to unhook it. Then some stupid ass idiot comes by with a bunch of these worms in a jar, throws them at me and runs away. Everybody freaks out and helps me shake them out of my hair and check if any has latched on my body, but we think I am in the clear.
      I then get possessed and chase that mf down. Turns out it was a girl, she teases me like "so what? what will you do?" and I go full "Kali Ma" on her (Indiana Jones ref) and plunge my hands in her chest ripping her organs out and then to finalize it, I intend to project flames from my mouth, like a dragon, but instead I project hot green vomit on her, like the possessed girl in the Exorcist.
      When things calm down a bit, I sit with Zilla, Vera and a couple other friends at some outdoor café to drink something and relax. There are familiar faces around from my school past. I hear some music that makes me smile. And Vera interprets that I am smiling because I saw a guy on the next table, she assumes I have a crush on. So she takes a photo of him with her cellphone and goes around telling everyone he is my crush. He actually is a guy who bullied me a lot in middle school, his nickname was "ass-bomb" because he once farted in the classroom or something.
      I am fully aware now and tired of silly games so I explain to her what I was smiling at and whom the guy is and decide to go for a walk and do something with my lucidity. The area is like a kasbah, very tight streets with earth-rammed houses and vendors' tents. I soak in the diversity while thinking what to do. I see a few more familiar faces from middle school, another couple bullies for whom I actually feel tenderness, not so much from what they did but just to see them as they were back then, kids who haven't aged. I find it precious that I still keep their faces stored in my memory. Then something odd happens.
      Superman falls from the sky onto some iron structure like the entrance to a train station or something. He seems to struggle to get on his feet, then he is attacked by what seems another superman who looks more like a super butch superwoman, way more muscular than the original, but with a female face. And she beats the shit out of him. Then comes an emo superman, very pale and skinny and scared. He doesn't really do anything, just watches, confused, I am also confused. I decide to fly up where they are, to watch it better and maybe help the real superman, I don't know. But they kinda stop fighting and look at me surprised, like "and who the hell are you?". I feel like they now might pick a fight with me, so I just let go and fly away and let them sort it out.

      I keep flying but now I am actually on a plane over Florida. Instead of landing in the airport, it lands on water but not as an accident, apparently it is an hydroplane. The sky is so bright blue, no clouds, sun is shining bright, wonderful weather and beautiful light. When we land on the water, people are then taken to some water taxis and escorted by jet skis who are there as a backup (they have rafts for taking in people if necessary). I find it a bit too much of a precaution, but I am impressed with the organization. Some kid is looking at me and I smile at him. Most people are families with kids and I feel they are going to Disney World.

      Updated 03-20-2021 at 11:50 AM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , nightmare
    7. 16 Mar: Gore nightmares of genocide and demonic possession

      by , 03-16-2021 at 09:05 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some African small village. Some white man is rounding up black and white children to burn them alive. Nobody stops him, as if afraid of the consequences and I don't get it, because all I see is one man. When he lights the fire, I scream in horror and decide it's worth risking my life to fight for the children. I first throw rocks at the guy and hit him in the head. He falls on the ground and I beat the shit out of him, break his arm and try to strangle him. I am really possessed and ripping the guy apart. The villagers use the chance to put out the fire and save the kids. A black female police arrives and asks me to stop beating the guy, so she can take him into custody. Then I am lauded as an hero and invited to some big music event. The band playing sounds a bit like AC/DC. There is then an after party and I come with Riverstone. Someone complains he wasn't invited and I yell at them that he is the reason I am still alive (don't know why).

      At my teenage room at my mom's house, but different, because it is on ground level. Some dude breaks in my window and I think he wants kill me, but then he just grooms me and seduces me and I feel like he wants to abuse me. Riverstone is in the house somewhere and the guy is alerted by the noises of his presence, so I use the opportunity to claim my boyfriend is coming. The guy gives up his intents and prepares to leave, but lets me know that he will return. So I lock and glue the windows shut. (So Riverstone did save me, but in a future dream. Odd.)
      The stalked does not come back to my house, instead he causes a fake fire at my high school, to make everyone come out and then kinda kidnaps me. When he does so, I detach from my own body and see myself as a young blonde teen girl. He says something to her ears and she is bewitched. Next time he comes, she actually is longing for him and she kisses him in front of the school colleagues. Since he is an older man in his 30s, all kids and teachers present react in shock and she looks at them like she couldn't care less and finds them all pitiful. Later she is with teachers and colleagues at a workshop where they have some practical crafting lessons. The creepy guy is there too, at first just like a ghost. He possesses or hypnotizes a teacher that throws himself at a rotating saw, cutting himself in half and splashing blood and guts everywhere. Everyone is horrified and then the guy materializes, looking devilish. Now is obvious to me that he is a demon. He grabs the dead teacher's heart and gives it to the girl for her to eat it. She somehow is now fully naked and covered in blood and everyone else runs away. But I confront him. I want to stop him. And now he wants to kill me. He traps me in some kind of mental maze, the space around me transforms so that I can't get out of it. One room leads to an identical one and he is always there. There is no escaping. At first he just taunts me and I get a knife and slit his throat every time I see him, but he just appears in the next room and the next. Then I try to kill one of his manifestations by stabbing him repeatedly and slitting his throat while repeating like a mantra "in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit". I don't know why, because I am a buddhist. He seems to lose some strength and not be able to fight back. Then I kill another one and chop him into pieces and stab and slice each organ including the heart and as a result it opens an horizontal slit on a wall, to escape this place and go back to the "real world". I repeat the prayer even more intensely and feel like I conjure the Holy Spirit as a gush of wind comes through the slit and pushes through the space behind me, as if to blow the demon away from me. Once outside, there is a stairway and as I climb it, I also get the power to multiply into endless manifestations, so I am ready to face the demon if he comes after me. Strangely enough, those manifestations are all dressed up as the Daredevil or some kind of Power Ranger type of suit in dark red and blue tones.
    8. 14 Nov: Refugee camp in the mountains, trapped in astral plane, starving parakeet

      by , 11-14-2020 at 05:20 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA/AP

      I am in the mountains, heading to some camp with lots of kids. Zilla is there too and she organized a paper-chase game for the kids, inspired in Harry Potter and they are quite entertained following clues through paths in the mountains. But this is like a refugee camp, not a summer camp and we are on the move, running away from something dangerous.
      I get a surprise visit by Nighthawk and I am so happy to see him. We sit at the entrance of a tent and as we talk, we lean towards each other and I can't resist to kiss him. Then we embrace each other passionately. Things are heating up so we head inside. But then some bad guys with guns invade the camp and we all try to run to safer places, unsuccessfully. They've surrounded us and they snatch a kid and kill him. They say they'll keep coming and kill us all one by one. Then they leave and we all start mourning. I sob in deep despair.
      I wake up from the dream because of my crying, I feel like I am sobbing in RL. But instead of really waking up, I go through a false awakening and end up in the astral plane. I am in the bed at my room in the attic, it is dark and something is off. I sense dark presences and I start hearing a baby crying. It's disturbing and it doesn't stop. I get up and sit on the bed as I hear steps of someone coming. I hope it is Riverstone, so I call for him but I get no response. As I start feeling sheer terror, I start yelling as loud as I can, trying to be heard in RL or wake myself up. I realize no sound is actually coming out of my mouth in my RL body. I freak out for a bit because I feel trapped and unable to communicate or get out. Until I decide to calm down and ignore the fear and the baby crying. I slowly wake up.


      I am at my mom's with Riverstone, looking for some bird cages with different sizes that I know she has in the attic. We use it sometimes for rescue birds. I am shocked to find one tiny cage that only fits one bird standing, which has a parakeet inside. I can't understand how that is possible at all. These cages have been stored for at least a year. I rush to give water and a bit of kiwi to the poor bird and I can sense he is desperate. I can't wait to let him fly free in the room a little bit. He first falls on the bed as he is very weak but then manages to fly to the window and grab the metal frame of the window. I go get him to put him in a larger cage with food and water so he can recover, but he panics thinking I am going to trap him again in the tiny one. I also can feel all his bones and it is so afflictive.
    9. 29 Sep: False memories (hopefully) and a lucid

      by , 09-29-2020 at 07:27 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I have been having some weird dreams that feel like deep buried memories, but probably are false memories or at least I hope so.

      I am a kid and my parents are fighting and mom leaves temporarily to sort something out. I freak out and call for my mom. My dad is upset and does not understand why chose her over him. He claims he is the provider, the one who takes care of me. He also says that I am lazy like my mother and he is totally disappointed how I turned out and turned on him.

      My father calls me to his bedroom on waking up. I go to the side of his bed and his behavior is quite improper with me. I run away and hide from him. He gets up and makes threats so I get out of my hiding place. I leave the house and find a hideout in the basement of the building. (It does not look at all like my parents apartment building, but there was indeed a door under the staircase on ground floor, where only a child could get inside and this one is quite similar.) With some help I plan a trip to Nepal to where my mother run away.


      I have an experience that feels more like astral projection than a dream. I think I fell asleep lucid and I start seeing some wild place at dusk, with trees and stone walls at the side of the roads, a few cars passing. It doesn't feel like a lucid dream, more like I am remote viewing or astral projecting to a real place. I hover down the road until I see a small town. I check several landmarks looking for names that I might recall on waking up, like the name of the school, but I forget all. Can only remember the school had a man's name, composed of two words and last name ended in "ăo". Something, maybe a shop, was called "Atmosfera". Then I feel that I start losing touch and just drift into a norrnal dream based on the previous images. It is now morning in this town and several small shops are opening, Tourists are coming, kids going to school. I see a small café run by an old lady who makes homemade breakfast with a variety of artisanal bread and jams and I have to go inside. I spot a tiny tiny white kitten behind the costumers at the counter and I go grab him before someone steps over the baby. I look for momma cat who is hiding under some furniture where she is feeding the rest of her babies. They are covered in fleas that jump on me. One of the yellow cats has cancer in his ears. I plan to rescue them somehow.
    10. 14 Sep: Attacked by assassins on my vacation with family

      by , 09-14-2019 at 10:05 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Vacationing with some family members in a resort. My late uncle Zé and my aunt invite me to a walk at some waterfalls in a mountain. But it is really cold and I argue that it is better to stay by the fireplace and there is an indoor heated pool I really want to try, So I stay there, But I don't relax because I am attacked by Chinese assassins, One of them is a genetically enhanced clone of another one. I still beat her. Then some other dude attacks me, but I knock him down and he bleeds badly from his head. I feel compassion and concern for him and offer to help him. He is conscious and gets up. Refuses my help and says he has a place nearby where he can get medical help. I still walk with him until this place. Basically we get to a checkpoint where hundreds of people try to get in, but it is not into a nice place. It is actually the underworld where criminals and outcasts go to. He goes straight to the gate guards and they allow him in immediately.
    11. 12 Sep: Tobogan competition, missing an exam and disgusting cyst

      by , 09-12-2019 at 10:17 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      At some city with a river and I do my daily travels with a little boat across it. I also use the boat as a tobogan on certain land areas. One day there is a competition for urban tobogan sliding and I rush to participate, but it is only guys and they mock me and bully me. But I join anyway.
      Then there is some vice police that is annoying everybody, because typically this event is associated with a flourishing prostitution parallel business. The cops look at me sideways because women here usually are hookers and also I am half-naked because of my sports outfit which is a bit like a swimsuit.

      At the university, about to have an History exam, but I am in the Biology department gathering stuff I have been leaving there. It's 5 minutes for the exam, but I want to leave everything neatly packed in boxes to pick them up later. I check the time and call a friend to ask for the room where the exam will be. She says it is 5 pm and the exam finished hours ago. I say it's impossible because 5 mins ago was about to be 2 pm.
      I'm freaking out about my time lapse. I spill a cup of coffee that's on a table over another girl that is apparently taking a nap on a chair. She wakes up, I tell her about the exam and she tells me not to worry because all exams were delayed to next week and my friend was probably trolling me.

      I notice that the cyst I have on my back is soft and squishy so I squeeze it. It moves down and stops at my hip. It drips really smelly gook when I touch it, so I go look for a bathroom. I can't find one and for some reason I end up on the street and realize I am fully naked now. The cyst now looks like the cocoon from where "the" Alien comes out and starts to open. A jelly gook with jelly eggs starts oozing. I squeeze to get it all out and also start spewing mushrooms, starfishes and octopuses. Then, closer to the end, tree leaves also come out and then it empties. I feel extremely light and I can't care less about being naked on the street.
    12. 31 Aug: Special school, chased by clay animals, weird club and see a dark figure on waking up

      by , 08-31-2019 at 09:14 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      At some kind of school I attend. Conan is one of my colleagues. I hope to get his attention but I don't succeed immediately. Everybody wants to be his friends. Then someday he notices me because I look weirder than usual. During a break, I am sorting my make up kit and he stops by and asks what I am doing. He loves my make up boxes and asks if he can try some of it. I welcome him to sit with me. We become best buddies, holding hands and sharing a secret world others don't get.
      Then I need to take a subway somewhere and realize I am in London and don't know exactly where. I see another colleague from school at the train station and think about talking to him, but someone else walks towards him and they both leave. I get on the first train that comes but then I get out realizing I don't have a ticket or clue where to go. I go to a counter but the people behind it sell all sorts of things besides tickets. There is a bag on the ground to my right and I pick it up thinking it fell from somewhere and then some lady starts picking with me and shows me the receipt for that bag which she had bought.

      I am part of a small group of poor kids who were selected to one of the most exclusive schools in the world, located in a palace. On the first day there is a ceremony in which we are introduced to the high society. Then we are left roaming free on the backstage and we go explore some hallways covered in red velvet or white satin and gold. I would normally find it very kitsch, but here it works and I find it absolutely gorgeous. I cry at the sight of the most beautiful library I've ever seen, with velvet curtains and red walls. I do not realize some posh people are gathered there and at least one of the ladies complains about these kids being there. But another old lady, very sweet, asks me why I am crying. I tell her I live in a wooden shed and had never seen anything this beautiful. She becomes my friend and tells me her name is Vesova.

      Some nightmare with my dog Hachi.

      With Riverstone again by car at night. We see a strange animal getting in front of us. A turtle with a toad head making toad noises, but the size of a pig. it is blocking our way. I then see it is not a real animal but made of clay and see that from where he came from, other animals in clay are starting to come to life and move. I tell Riverstone we should get out of there, because there is a big bull among them and I expect him to also come to life. We go up a wooden gate and we close it, but it has a hole in it and a goat comes after us and I have to climb a wall to escape its horns. Then two dogs, not aggressive but curious, also come after me and one bites me a in a butt cheek. Not to hurt but still hurts.
      I find Zilla at the entrance of a house backdoor that leads to a basement. She tells us to go there but the dogs also go in. In any case, they stop biting. This basement is like a club with board games and sofas to chill. But has a strange decoration, full of nets as curtains and also giant spider webs hanging everywhere. Some joke about us being caught in the matrix. I move slowly avoiding the webs, some other girls gets her face into one. Then I see a group at some sofas around a carpet where more dogs lie at their feet. It is the Portuguese President and several sons that look like his clones at different ages. A couple of them invites me to join them and I accept and sit down. One of the dogs has an eye infection, I ask if they are treating it and the guy shrugs his shoulders saying they are going to the vet soon. I take a look and find she has a metal thing trapped inside her eye. I remove it and tell them she might be fine now, but they still need to clean her eye and if she continues sick she needs antibiotics.
      Then I feel a strong gallbladder pain that throws me on the ground crying. They mock me a little, then ask if I am ok. I explain I have a large gallstone and sometimes hurts and suddenly
      I wake up and I realize the pain is real and coming from me sleeping in a bad position putting pressure on my GB. I turn to the other side on my bed and for a split second I see this dark figure leaning over me and I jump in my bed. It disappears and I am left doubting if I saw what I saw.
    13. 15 May: Feeling trapped, weirdo victorian musem and enemies at a foreign land

      by , 05-15-2019 at 02:08 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      At my mom's apartment, something happens and I need to escape. I run for the door and in the stairway I jump all floors through the empty space in middle of the stairs. I expect the chasers not to be able to do so and gain some time with that. But it is one of those recurrent dreams I have in which the ground floor has no exit to the outside and I just hide in one apartment that had the door open and a key inside. I lock the door behind me and look for a window. I find an enclosed balcony but then I open a window and jump, just to find I am inside another balcony and this repeats several times until I decide to control the dream and focus that when I exit the window I am really outside. Funny though, I am back on the top floor and not ground floor, but I fly away and hide behind nearby buildings so my chasers don't see me in the distance. Then I fly to the mountains nearby. I reach them at dusk and find a weird place covered in stone ruins and some people walking among them, like pilgrims, they don't seem dangerous, but they all are a bit mad. They let me be, but some are a bit too curious and pushy and I need to stay flying above them because I don't feel comfortable when they approach me.

      Then I am with Zilla and some other friend on a cruiseship, when we're hit by a huge storm. The ship gets dragged to the coast, enters a canal, ends up in the city of some foreign country. We are in our cabin, getting dressed to go out. It's night and it is a hostile place, but we chose to leave the ship and hide on land. We hide on some hill and we are found by a couple enemy guys. They are armed and I make a bit of a theatre that we are "defenseless confused little girls so please don't shoot us". Instead, they decide to have fun with us. One of them, a big guy, gets on top of me, but I punch him in the throat, then kick his balls, slightly slide down through his legs and apply all my force to throw him over my head and we manage to escape them.

      Then we are ok and safe and visiting a museum related to the Catholic church and full of Victorian things and morbid things related to death, all in silver and lots of lace and velvet. There is a section with a dead mummified dog in an exquisite coffin. It smells like a crypt.

      Me and the girls have settled at a home and we are living in peace. But one day we hear strange noises and we think we saw some guy moving around the house. Suddenly a very old police car stops at our door but the cops are dressed as prisoners with striped jumpsuits. We first suspect of them but they say they came to protect us as they claim to have followed a hired assassin that came to kill us and then we believe them.
    14. 7 Feb: School reunion, Ben Affleck and Joseph-Gordon-Levitt in a court full of vampires

      by , 02-07-2019 at 09:51 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Primary school reunion, I am looking hot in a tight dress and high heels, but can't recognize anyone and no one recognizes me. My mom shows up and joins me. It's in a cool bar with half the menu vegan. We sit down to chose a snack, my mom wants some potatoes they serve with different dressings, but I am more into sweets. It is so hard to choose so I just eat the sprouts they serve as salad. A girl that looks familiar sits with us and we start talking about the traffic in town, how it is always blocked for some construction.
      Then I have to walk Hachi and she comes with me as I walk through town.
      It turns day and I pass by the court. Inside I see Ben Affleck as a lawyer working there and decide to check it out. My dog is now a baby in a stroller, so I go inside with him. The baby is Joseph Gordon-Levitt (!). I see Ben Affleck talking to a client, then welcoming another client who comments he is using the same shirt from last week. He says it is just similar. I don't have a reason to be there so I just go look around discreetly. Meanwhile I no longer have the baby.
      I go to the toilet and bump with a lady that acts strangely. Actually, I notice something very wrong about a few people that I saw in the hallway. And then the lady tries to attack me. They have been bit by vampires and are turning. Luckily I am a vampire slayer and I have some special daggers to kill them. Some are easy to kill with one blow, but others seem to resist magically and are only wounded, even when I stab them in the heart and the head. Don't know why they are so powerful and when I get surrounded by three of them I feel scared. Suddenly rays of light shine through the building and the vampires disappear.
    15. 15 Mar: Creature at my window

      by , 03-15-2016 at 11:31 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      My dogs are barking furiously outside, I'm having a hard time falling asleep...
      Then a loud humming sound makes everything shake like an earthquake. And a white light shines through my blinders. I feel dizzy and confused. I go to my window and try to see where this light and sound come from, through the spaces in the blinders. I see a pair of beady red eyes piercing me. I jump back with fear. Then I realize the blinders are half open and the creature moves to the side of the window that is now exposed. It is greenish, with a big deformed head and those really scary red eyes. I pull the curtains and move on to another room. I convince myself that I am safe, he cannot enter the house.
      I wake up in the morning and go outside to look for footprints under my window, just to confirm my vision was real. But I see no marks. Instead, I find all my clothes I left hanging to dry overnight, all over my garden and a lot of chaos in general, like a storm hit the place.
      Then I really wake up in RL.
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