Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With Nighthawk, somewhere with other people around. Looks like an office as we are sitting in office chairs with wheels, but also feels like a café as people are just chilling in nearby tables. He is talking about something and I want to get closer to him, so I give an impulse to my chair to slowly roll to his side. But I pull it a bit too strongly and I roll too fast and bump into him. As a result I grab his legs and put my hands too close to his crotch and his reaction is to flinch and push himself back. I say sorry and he asks if I did it on purpose and I honestly can't tell. I feel like it was both accidental and intentional to a certain extent. I am also upset that he reacted that way but I guess it is to do with being in a public place with other people, so I don't insist and we just continue a normal conversation.

At my parent's house but the house looks totally different from what it really was. My bedroom is normal but it is attached to some shed that has the roof cracking in the middle and we are all waiting for the moment it falls apart and trying to keep everyone in safety. But when it falls apart, the roof in my bedroom also falls apart and then half of my parent's room also goes down. We are tryig to take it calmly and make plans to cover it all with plastics until we get the reconstruction done, but my father starts calculating the costs and it is despairing. Anyway, we adapt to living like this. But for no good reason I now have to shower in my room, as the shower head is right above my bed. So I wet my bed completely. My mom suggests I wash quickly to reduce the amount of water soaking the bed and I wonder how I am going to sleep on it later as it won't dry until then. Then I remember we have a second bathroom with a shower that wasn't affected and wonder why we ain't using it. Then I become aware that I am dreaming and I teleport involuntarily to a street in a city with very modern architecture mixed with old palaces at an ocean front. I want to see the place but then I notice how long the street is and I don't want to walk it all the way, so I lift off to see it from above. I see this shore line to my left, another to my right and some more in front but far away. I dive in the water just for fun and wonder what to do with my lucidity as I don't have anything prepared. All that occurs to me is to summon Buddha Tara. All I get instead is a red or pink tide on the water, as if something is gathering to form a shape, but it never does. I focus harder on any Buddha to appear and one starts forming and getting out of the water. It is actually a white porcelain figure, looking much more like Budai, not any Buddha. Not very fat but a little chubby and with thin green lines making beautiful designs all over its "skin". It is human sized and I touch it to see if it is a statue or a living being. I am still in the water and he has risen above it, but I manage to touch its arms and legs and I am surprised that it feels like porcelain but also like a peachy skin at the same time and it is warm. It feels so pleasurable to the touch that I continue caressing it, I reach for the neck and chest. The statue then comes to life and scolds me for touching him inappropriately. He gets mad and summons guardians from the water. I start feeling threathened by the figures that start emerging and grabbing me. There is a floating platform nearby and I get up on it. A strong current forms and drags it, but I allow myself to go with the flow. Then I hit the shore and some monks appear requesting me to come along. I ask what is it and they say some Rinpoche requires my presence. I hope it's what I am expecting but deep down I feel that it is not. I follow them anyway and they take me to a house. We pass through a room where some monks or lamas are sitting watching tv and they take me to a bedroom in the back. I feel uncomfortable when all I see is a bed and a lama I don't know in a poorly lit room. But then I see there is a young lady laying down on the bed, I feel like she is his companion. I ask what is it they need me for. And he explains she can't sleep for a week or so and she is going mad and they are desperate. I ask if we can talk and he asks her to come forward and listen to me. At first she looks angry and uncooperative. I don't know what she expects from me, but I start by telling her about a friend I have that also couldn't sleep for a week and it was because of anxiety he wasn't even aware of. And suddenly her face changes and she is interested. I ask if there is anything in her life, past or future, that could be the source of anxiety. Something that happened and she can't let go thinking about it or something that is going to happen and she is consumed in fear or doubts about it. Slowly she admits it may be fhe latter. She is studying something and she is going to do an exam for which she feels totally unprepared and she thought she wasn't worrying at all, but now she sees she just wasn't aware of how the concern was consuming her. I give advice on how to let go and examples of how my friend managed to let go and she seems definitely calmer.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


Taking a shower in what looks like my maternal grandparents kitchen in VFX. The shower is on an elevated platform with a very lose curtain in front of it, just by the left side of the door. I don't feel uncomfortable though and I am feeling a bit horny. I see the direction this dream is going and for that reason I get half lucid and decide to dry up and dress. Right in front there is another door leading to a proper WC. It has a large mirror on the wall. When I see it, I get fully lucid and I sink in it. Unlike other times, it just expands like a bubble and becomes transparent, letting me see that there are people working in an office behind it. I burst the bubble and join them. They look scared and some run away. One dude seems like he might attack me, so I manifest a bunch of money on his desk trying to distract him. Then everyone else goes crazy and I think I need to make more money to calm them down. So with some difficulty, I make it rain - there's notes falling out of thin air. Unfortunately, some just look like notes but are random pieces of paper, which again seems to enrage people. I decide to leave before they turn on me. I levitate towards upper floor and then go through a couple doors and I am outside. I feel the fresh air and find the sensation amazing. I also enjoy the view. Seems like I am in Belgium, the architecture looks familiar. I walk down a street looking for references and see a big sign saying Badesee or Badesek. Seems like an entrance to a station or a park. I almost lose lucidity in here, so I rub my hands. I am enjoying beautiful surreal things like trees with african pottery hanging from branches, a stained glass sky with beautiful sunset hues shining though it. Then I notice some weird guy kinda stalking me and I decide to fly over a wall to the other side. It's a more rural landscape on the other side and I see a huge snake in pastel yellow and green designs sliding through some wooden houses ad then turning into a girl in clothes of those colors. I find that lovely but also seems like she is a sign of caution from here on. Then I catch a glimpse in between houses, of some black guys running and I am not sure what they are running for or from, so I hide to see what's up. I hide between two very close walls of a couple ruined houses and I peek over a wall to see if they came my way. They didn't, they disappeared inside some other house or down the road. Then I see a man guiding a bunch of scared black women and children into a barn and other people hiding wherever they can in these old rural houses and barns. I don't know what they are hiding from but I am absolutely sure they will be found very easily when whomever is looking for them swipes the area. I want to help them so I plan to hover the place and shoot fire or whatever to their attackers, but I am distracted by my dog Lady who comes out of nowhere and joins me in that tiny space between walls where I am at. I hug her and all of a sudden I am in my farm and notice that all my dogs are outside the fence. Some idiot girl was passing by and when my mom arrived in her car, the girl leaned against the fence to get out of the road and she damaged the fence, and the dogs found a way to pass under it. Pissed of, I ask her to help me fix it while trying to bring my dogs inside.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I am on a bus or tram and I spot Morpheus in jeans and jacket, talking to some guy, both standing on the corridor (larger than in real life buses or trams). They end up discussing and fighting and people on the tram freak out, running away from them. The tram stops and people get out in panic.
I sense that agents are coming and I warn Morpheus that he must go. The other guy was not on the side of the agents, because he also runs away as fast as he can. I help Morpheus, by guiding him through the streets that I seem to know well. Then a large grayish van cuts across our path, the door slides and Morpheus hops in and invites me along. Inside it there is one guy driving and one guy on the back that welcomes us. They take us to their headquarters.
The van parks at some garage and they welcome me to the facilities. Outside the van, a girl passes by, wearing a denim jumpsuit and a red/black checker shirt and short hair and I recognize her to be Trinity. She talks briefly with Morpheus, informing him of the results of her latest assignment and she doesn't seem very happy about it. He says something like an ok and tries to encourage her. Then he tells me to go with her.
I accidentally hear the two other guys mocking her because of her tomboy looks. I am amazed by their silly behavior and think that one day they'll regret it.
She enters a locker room to shower and change and lets me know that she heard their comments. She was already upset she didn't get much success on her mission and on top of that she confesses she has no self-esteem and finds herself skinny and unattractive. I tell her that one day she will be a great looked-after warrior and she will wear really cool vinyl outfits and be the object of fantasy of all those men who now look down on her. She doesn't believe me and she smirks. Then she enters the shower.
While she is showering, I write an encouraging message to her on the steamy mirror and I go outside.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG
23:00 GMT

Black holes
Just recall vivid image of strange black-holes (although very colourful) in the sky, sucking up cars and buildings and maybe people, but not me.

3:20 GMT

Trip to Morocco
Zilla calls and says she got those tickets for that trip to Morocco she invited me to before. But it is this afternoon, at 17h30, so we need to go to the airport right away. I have no time to pack my bag and just go take the bus to the airport. I meet her on the bus and I tell her I rush up and had no time to even bring underwear or toothbrush, so I hope at least we’ll have time at the airport for some shopping. But then I realise I haven’t even brought my wallet, no money or cards.
I call my BF and we meet him at some bus stop further ahead, where he is coming out of his work. I ask him to borrow me his credit card and then we head to another bus or something to keep going to the airport.
I ask my friend about duration of the trip and she tells me we leave on this afternoon (Thursday) and we’ll be back on Saturday, so a short trip. I had warned mymomthis could happen but then I remember my dad has no clue and I decide maybe it’s better not even tell him, he won’t even notice my absence for just a few days.

Lorelai and Luke
I’m Lorelai Gilmore from the Gilmore Girls series (it’s playing on TV here now) and I’m with Luke in my home. We’re about to go out, not even on a date, just to do something, but I ask if he wants to shower first. He asks me “With you?” and I’m totally surprised but loving the idea so I think “Hell, yeah!”. Then we are undressing in the bathroom and he is hot and we are on to a very hot shower and even hotter sex.

6:10 GMT

Travel to Morocco part 2
Again on my way to the airport with Zilla. We took a cab for the last part of the way. We’re very late and we run out of the taxi as soon as it stops. As we enter the airport a series of obstacles “happen”, like the sliding glass door transforms into a brick wall right in front of my eyes. Zilla is freaking out, but I suddenly get really calm and tell her “who cares, it’s just a dream!”.
I turn back and the taxi is no longer a taxi but a car-shaped retro-illuminated screen on the floor. Some people are looking at it, not knowing what it is. I say maybe it can be used as a portal and encourage them to jump on it. A guy jumps and goes through it. Then a couple is discussing it amazed but not brave enough to do the same. Then a really cute tiny dog appears and jumps on it, I guess trying to follow his owner who left him behind? The poor doggie jumps again and nothing. He starts to bark and I feel sorry for the little fella. I pick him up and decide to take him along with me. I have no clue where the other guy went, but at least the doggie won’t be alone. And he is cute and I decide it will be fun to have a “lucid” pet with me. I jump thinking about going to the moon, but once again i fail, because after the freefall sensation I just wake up.

8:00 GMT

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

22:30 GMT – Sleep

Lecture on a park
On a train, remember speaking French and think I was on my way to some meeting. I got lucid and got out of the train. I start flying but lucidity is weak and I don’t remember any tasks. I just enjoy the beautiful blue sky. Then gravity starts pulling me down and I hate when that happens. I remember I am dreaming and I think that I should try to solve this issue once and for all, of gravity pulling me down on a dream. So I focus on the fact that I am dreaming and that there is no gravity and therefore no reason to be pulled down. I start going up instead and I make an effort to really record this on my mind so it doesn’t happen again. (But I’m not sure it will work 100%)
Then lucidity gets a bit blurred and my thoughts get confusing. I think about levels and then I am on some terrace or whatever place, and have a black jacket on my hands with emblems on, with numbers relatively to levels of achievement. It has something to do with mastering the levels of flying or dream control in general. And I think it’s cool but won’t really wear that jacket. Then on the back it has some emblem about organic farming and I find that totally unrelated. Then a lady arrives – she looks Iranian or well... middle eastern. She says she is very happy that I could come to the meeting but at the same time she is disappointed no one else appeared.
I wonder if she’ll cancel this meeting, but instead she says she will do her presentation only to me and so she can be more thorough. Then I realise we’re sitting on my bed. She starts her lecture but she is just reading some booklet of which she gives me a copy. I have hard time following what she is saying, but it is something about natural and protected areas and using the resources sustainably. I smile as if I am totally following. Then my boyfriend appears and joins us. It’s his lunch time. The lady continues without interruption but now I realise my bed is in the middle of a park. This park is inside some fenced area and there’s a guard at the gate. My boyfriend then spots his boss at the gate. We wonder what he wants. The lady now stops her conversation and says she wants to offer the man something to eat. She goes to the left to get something and comes back with a raw fish in her right hand. By now, the boss is already inside the perimeter but the guard is holding him back for some checks before allowing him to go further. As he sees the lady with the fish coming towards him, he looks at us with an enquiring and totally surprised face, like asking WTF!? I just shrug my shoulders.

1:30 GMT

Stalking Björk (again...)
I’m meeting a small group on some terrace table in front of a coffee shop. It’s on a pitoresque town, with stone paved roads. I am bored and instead of sitting with them, I grab some kind of skate that actually looks like a stool on wheels and decide to skate down the road, which curves to the left and keeps getting ever more inclined. But as I gain speed, somehow I don’t want to keep going down. There’s something keeping me in this upper side of town (something I was dreaming previously, but don’t recall). So I stop, grab the stool and go up on foot. Then I arrive at the street where the terrace was and on the opposite side of the road there’s a kind of square, not paved, in front of some wall of a castle. There’s also an arch to enter the castle, which is what I was planning to do, but on my way there, when crossing the square, I see lots of kids gathered and some performances of artists, like jugglers. I get caught by this kind of theatre being performed by... I think cats, but I’m not sure.... dressed up in costumes I remember thinking how the hell the tamer managed the animals to do that so perfectly and I think probably with lots of suffering and mistreatment to the animals. But the kids are loving. I take some pictures and then two kids ask me to take pictures of them. I agree and ask how they want it. They say they want the view that his on my back now – a port or quay by the sea. I take picture of one and then the other. Remember the reflex of the sun on the lens. Then I hear singing and recognise the song and the voice of Björk. I go check it out and find Björk singing on top of some platform around a lighthouse or some similar tower building. There’s only half a dozen people stopping to listen to her and she looks so tanned! It looks like she was just having beach vacation and decided to sing for whoever was passing, but I don’t know. I sing along and when it’s over I approach this platform because I would like to say hello to her and because the clapping of the audience was so disappointing I feel she would like to meet some fan to lift her up. But she is already surrounded by people from her staff – so it wasn’t a casual show! One lady blocks my way and I grab her arm to really make her understand I wanna talk to Björk – OK!!! My hands are greasy and she looks a bit disgusted. I wonder why I’m greasy but tell her it’s not dirty oil, but some baby oil I put on my skin to moisturize (?) I finally get to her and congratulate her and start being a total nagging fan – which I would never do, but I think I was somewhat aware I was dreaming and felt no constraints. She is first totally ignoring me. She enters a trailer but leaves the door open so I also go inside. It’s a huge trailer. There’s a bunch of guys hanging around, doing video editing and sound checks – an entire team that probably worked for her. She enters a separate room, I assume it is her room or a changing room. But she also leaves the door open. And she hasn’t yet told me to shut up or go away, so I keep going. I don’t want to invade her privacy though, so I stay outside this room, sitting on the floor, by the side of the door. I bombard her with all sorts of questions and opinions, like saying she doesn’t look so good so tanned. Then she finally breaks the ice, asking me if I know anything about some hospital and I actually now something because my grandma uses to go there, so we end up discussing hospital location and treatments. Because of this, when I finally enter the room, she is lying in bed and she is has transformed into my grandmother . Then she turns into a giant poached egg. Then I wake up.

3:40 GMT

Random mix of unrelated stuff
Going down some circular stairs down some kind of well to go meet someone and help with something. I realise I am inside a mine. As I reach some floor level crossed by huge pipes, there’s a quake which shakes down everything, and displaces some rocks and some of the pipes. People who were on downer levels come up and everybody decides to evacuate as it isn’t safe to stay there any longer. As we approach the surface, we open an hatch and we meet this guard on some control post who is guarding the entrance to the area. He tells us there’s no reason to worry, that everything is ok, just a minor quake, but we prefer to play safe and decide to make a break and go to this area on the left – a building – where we can eat something and rest for a while. At that moment I look to the sky and two police flying saucers pass by – like police cars, with the police lettering and red lights flashing, but in a flying saucer version. They seem to be on a hurry, maybe chasing some criminal on some other flying saucer?
We cross a road and enter this building that looks like a mall, with revolving doors. Inside there are shower facilities and we all go for a shower before anything else. In the beginning we’re all in the same bathroom, men and women and some guy hands me over shampoo, but everybody’s dressed. First I say I’m not going to take a shower, but he insists and I just wash my hair – always with clothes on! Then I overhear one of the girls talking to a guy about considering living an alternative life style and I cannot help to tell her to talk to some other girl of the group who is obviously kinda hippie, thinking she might give her some advice. Then I look throught the window, admire some trees outside and spot an animal on some branch. I say “Look, an hedgehog on that tree!”, but something isn’t right and the others also notice. Hedgehogs don’t climb trees. I know that, but I’m sure what I saw was an hedgehog, so I go outside to prove my point. All I can find is some squirrel. He is cute but I’m sure not what I saw before. I spot some walnuts on the ground and think about throwing it at the squirrel, but then I realise he is not going to catch it and I might indeed hurt him if I try. So I give up and as I walk away I find a table with doll houses on top. They are from a lady artisan who makes them and is exhibiting them on open air. I am amazed at the details and beauty of the houses but then stumble on one whose miniature parquet floor is totally lifted on air – I try to fix it and as a result the whole house collapses. The lady is luckily surrounded by people and doesn’t see me.

Fragment
My hair is longer and I am sitting with another girl in front of my guru. He is giving us some instructions regarding the current practice we’re doing. I make some funny face and my guru asks me if I disagree with something, to which I reply no.


6:10 GMT

Changing clothes
I’m on some large room with white long benches around, against the wall, like a cloakroom. The door is open but still I am trying to change clothes quickly. I see a corridor outside and realise this is inside some large building. I want to change pants but they are so tight, even my underwear comes off. Precisely when some people - among which I recognise my father - are just passing by in the corridor. Luckily they are not paying attention to what goes on inside the room. I decide to simply continue undressing and dressing. Strangely my panties have now enlarged with all the pulling and twisting from my changing acrobatics. I try wearing some new pants and they don't fir, so I grab a new skirt I brought and wear it – it also is huge, like twice normal size. I think I need to ask my mother what happened, because she was the last person who washed these clothes!

Encounters at a canteen
On a gathering of activists and farmers, there’s a guy in his 50s with a son about my age and they don’t stop looking at me. On lunch time at a canteen they sit in the table right in front of mine. My mom who’s also present notices the 2 guys interest and comes to join me. I realise she is digging the 50 year-old guy and I play along to help her. But e just exchange smiles and they never get up and come talk to us. After lunch I am packing all my stuff really well on my backpack to leave – I have mp3, camera, laptop and all the necessary plugs and cables, plus a book and whatever... I take ages to fit all in the backpack and that’s when the guy (the older) decides to talk. He tells me he is a rice producer and asks me if I know Alfredo (yeah, I do) because he is his neighbour. Then he also asks me if I am aware of the GM rice issue and I smile thinking “Why of course!” but he doesn’t give me a chance to talk, so he keeps going. He is totally furious that his project of organic rainfed rice was totally discouraged by the government while they support chemically and flooded rice and even GM rice. He concludes that this world is upside down and I agree, but decided not to speak.
Then I spot Mónica onthe opposite side of this room and go there but then notice she is with her mom. Her mom takes her to a nearby window and shows her something which is outside. I hear their conversation. “Oh mom, I can’t believe it! It’s for surfing? I want it so badly! I want it! Thank you so much!” Apparently her mother just gave her some ridiculously expensive gift – I wonder if it’s a surfing board and since when she does sports? Then she turns but she doesn’t see me. Instead she goes talk to some lady who’s leaving and asks her if she can come along. The lady replies she would of course invite her, but she is with their guru on a private visit, as a friend and he is not expecting anyone else to join. Surprisingly then, the guru actually drops by saying he really needs to use the toilet. He doesn’t look so happy and even I say hi to him, but he does not reply. I find that odd, since he is always so kind and thoughtful. Mónica is clearly happy to see him and says to the other lady that he looks so well! I wonder why she says this, because to me he is clearly not looking so well.

7:30 GMT – Wake up


PRECOG explanation:
On this morning my mom came to visit me. I was coincidentally wearing the panties from my dream but was wearing a different skirt. When she arrived she was bringing me a bag of clothes she had washed and ironed, including that new skirt. I just put it over the bed to sort it out later when my mom notices I have a big spot on the skirt I am wearing. We’re late to go out so I just grab the skirt on the bed and dress it. Already outside I realise I’m wearing the exact same thing I was wearing on the dream – luckily it suffered no accident and all is with normal size. I don’t know why I have such meaningless precog dreams, but fortunately once in a while I also have precogs that are actually interesting.