Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With my parents, meeting my aunt Ana, cousin Cris and cousin Duarte at some mall. They bring along a strange creature they say is a chinchila, but it is the size of a human child and has short curly black hair looking more like a poodle-monkey hybrid. I ask if I can pet the creature and then it just talks like a human and speaks for itself. I am flabbergasted, I don't even pay attention to what it says. My cousin keeps it under tight control and following orders, but I notice this makes the creature feel uneasy. While the adults scramble to figure out who goes on what car to where, I get to talk to the creature privately in a corner. Meanwhile it had shapeshifted and now looks like a totally human girl. I realize she has serious mental issues. She is starting to have a meltdown with the idea of accompanying us to a restaurant. I tell her I understand and ask her what she needs to calm down and feel more comfortable. She is stimming and clearly wanting to shut down but my cousin demands she looks him in his eyes and obeys him. I tell him he must not demand her to do what makes her uncomfortable. I explain how hard it can be for an autistic to keep looking in the eyes, even sometimes with people as close as our own parents and that I believe she also suffers from a similar sensitivity and she should be respected. She starts to like me and even allows me to hug her and thanks me. But then at the restaurant, she just sits on the floor between the wall and the table, clearly in distress and she starts damaging the table with some kind of drill. I don't know where she got it. Turns out it is her stimming tool for when she breaks down. I reach out to her to see it and she hurts my hand with it. Not sure if accidentally or she just lost control of her emotions, but I can tell she regrets and stops drilling the table. I ask if she wouldn't prefer a different stimming object, like a squishy plush and I show her mine. She says no, she needs something sharp and violent. She argues she is a carnivore and has all these violent instincts being supressed constanly and I tell her I am sorry that I don't know enough about her species (I had already forgot she ain't human). I promise to learn more about her and try to help her by understanding her feelings better. She reacts well to compassion and she does calm down with just my conversation. She asks me to go outside with her for a little while. We go outside the restaurant, which is in some unfinished three towers' compound. We are at the ground level and the three towers share an open air lobby on which we walk a little bit. She spots some dudes working on some electric and electronic panel and takes an interest in it. She studies the sockets and the cables and takes a look inside the office behind it. I wonder what she is doing. When the men start asking what we are up to, she compliments the men for their good work and they feel proud and thank her. I ask what she is doing and she says she needs to print some doc and she is checking the eletronic installation going into that officei because she wants to hack it and print something to show me. Then she infiltrates the office, checks a big main central computer screen and then looks for an empty desk. Someone spots us and a lady at a computer asks what we want and accuses us of a hacking atttempt. I explain to her what's up and that my friend just wants a harmless print, but is indeed putting her hacking skills to test and I confess that I played along just to see how well she manages. Then ask the lady for her help and she is very understanding and just prints out whatever my friend wants. Then I tell my friend that sometimes she can just ask someone for help if what she needs is simple and unproblematic. She is surprised that another human we don't know would just cooperate and I tell her she also still needs to learn a lot about humans.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG
23:20 GMT

Suicide/homicide attempt
I’m an observer of a suicide/homicide attempt. Some rich kid who owns a fancy 5-star caravan is on his room inside the caravan. A friend couple is there on the living room and he closes the door trapping them and then also closes himself in the room. He had previously put the exhaustion pipe pumping the fumes inside the caravan. His friends are calling for him, asking him to please not do that or at least let them out, but he couldn’t care less. Then I enter the scene, materializing in the room where these 2 are, trying to help them. There are windows, but they are very tiny. Impossible to escape through the, but at least it helps clear the air and they can hold on longer until help comes. My cat also appears, like hovering around and I wonder why.

Family nonsense
At my grandma home, on living room with my cousin Cris watching TV. I feel I have already watched this exact same TV show in this room but with my cousin Rui instead. My mom appears and I go to the bedroom. From there I see my dad sitting on a street bench on the other side of the street. He sees me and gets up, making a sign that he will come in. I go warn my mom, but in the end he never comes. I go back to the bedroom and I’m almost totally asleep when I wake up to the buzzing sound of a wasp. I get out of the room gently but then there are a bunch of them and they escape the bedroom and are about to attack my family members. I then am forced to kill them, but it kills me to do it.
Then I go outside and there’s a beach. There’s a cliff with a waterfall and the Gilmore Girls are there (again). Lorelai looks very melancholic, like waiting for her love and I feel a totally absurd feeling that I am like the real life incarnation of her (?) [although I’m not even like her....]

2:30 GMT

Ugly weirdo dream I prefer not to share

3:40 GMT

Japanese nonsense
I’m visiting Japan with my BF.We’re on some kind of super-speedy panoramic view bus. We go through mountain roads, we see the beautiful hills and the tree colours. I try to take pictures but I ran out of battery. We arrive at some green valley with cows grazing and a few bulls. One of them is on the loose and behaving like crazy. I didn’t feel too scared, instead I tried to calm him down with good vibes.
Later we’re on a karaoke restaurant and we sing Charlotte Gainsbourg. There’s a girl there trying to impress her co-workers, I notice she has amazingly white teeth, I think she whitened to cause an impression.

5:00 GMT

Break and enter
With mom, we’re back on that restaurant. She says she wants to investigate something. We pass by a shop with screens playing the X-files and for a moment we both become Mulder and Scully. On the restaurant she takes me to the toilet and I must keep flushing to make noise while she is trying to break into something I guess. But someone comes and we’re kicked out. On passing at the reception, some girl is messing up with the cashier over some receipt.
We walk around the city and it gets night and she decides to try to break in again in the dark. But the problem is the restaurant at night transforms into a bar, so there’s people in there again. We’re at the entrance deciding what to do, I read a poster on the wall, when some guy starts beating some other guy violently on the street. We watch hidden but the violence is just brutal – the guy being beaten is left with no bone intact! His face is unrecognizable and his body just a mass of unarticulated bloody meat. But he is still alive. It’s too unbearable to watch and I wake up.

Long journey through bizarre realms
With mom shopping on a huge 2nd hand warehouse. Also has an organic food section and after clothes we go there. I am delighted choosing among a variety of cookies only 5EUR/kg, but she pressures me, saying it’s time to go, that we’re late for something. I delay a lot, but I finally agree to leave and then we’re almost running. I realise I can actually run high-speed but only later I realise my mom was left behind, cause she couldn’t keep up.
Outside I pass by a group of young people, where I spot Vera. I don’t really want to talk to her right now, so I try to pass unnoticed. But then decide to wait for my mom on some seat on a bench structure (like those in sportsfields for the audience). I am there when a guy I knew from school and who just appeared recently a lot in my dreams, just drops by and says hi. The girls, including Vera are with him – so they spotted me... I push him away, because he is a playboy who enjoys flirting with me, just to tease me and I find that annoying. In front of the benches there was a railroad, but now there is a river and I jump into the water. He comes after me, but then I remember to fly away and I leave him behind.
I keep going forward, not really with a goal and I pass by a strange dark corridor, like an underpass, but it actually has tiny windows and I see it’s on ground level. People go through it like ghosts. I keep flying and moving fast, because this place is a bit unpleasant. The corridor does not end but instead transforms into a canal and people just try as hard as possible to swim out of there, but the current is pushing them back and they keep swimming and swimming, never getting out of there. There are even waves, keeping people just struggling against the current and sometimes drowning just to come above the water again and again. I cannot help to think this looks like some hell realm. At first I was also in the water like them, but unlike other people I manage to fight the current and lastly I fly out of the water and manage to get to some platform that leads to exit, I hope. I encounter a button on the wall and a door. I open the door and it’s just some storage room, but then push the button, a green light turns on and when I open the door, then it leads to a dark garage or barnyard-like place. A few people managed to follow me and as we are crossing this place, we see weird animals guarding the doors, the windows and there’s a door to some other smaller division which seems to keep locked some vicious animal which is trying to get out and attack us. We feel we need to get out of there quickly and I manage to find a very small breach on the right wall. The only problem is that from there it’s a long fall to the floor outside, right in the middle of some enclosure with more weird looking animals. For me it’s ok, cause I can fly so I go and try to find a way for people to follow me. I don’t know what I do, but I manage to save a large group of people and once they are outside and safe in a very sunny large open space, they celebrate. They make a hippie caravan and paint it with rainbows and dance and sing all the way to their next... life?
I don’t know now what to do, but I see a road. As I follow this road, I reach a place I recognize from another dream I had before, but now I’m coming from South and the other time I was coming from North. I become lucid. It’s the scenario from a dream I escaped some gangsters trying to kill me on a boat. It’s that road with some amazing flowered bushes hanging over from very high above. I fly to admire and smell this beautiful flowers and get to the top of this cliff. Up there I decide this place is fabulous to do my lucid meditation. But as soon as I sit, I wake up.

9:00 GMT

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING RPG

23:50 GMT – Sleep

Lucid imagery and tasting words
The first sleep is always hard to recall but when I woke up from this I knew for sure I had been lucid. I think I fell asleep focused on the hypnagogic imagery and didn’t really enter a dream, was just staying lucid observing the sequence of images and then I tasted words. [I’ve heard of people tasting colours, but this was new for me]. Unfortunately I can only recall this but not describe the actual sensation.

2:20 GMT

Library encounter
I am at this roundabout close to my mom’s home and I discover a new library opened right there. I recall when I was in high school and spent so much good time in the municipal library and decided to go inside check the conditions and maybe start coming frequently. I check the novelties shelf in the entrance, I pick some book and sit on a couch. I notice this guy JF, whom I know from college and haven’t seen in a while (although we communicate by email), but decide not to go to him and wait to see if he sees me. He comes to say hi, we talk a bit and then he asks me if I’m staying longer, because he is leaving and could give me a ride.
I say I’m still staying as I just arrived, but then he ask if I came on foot and points out that it is starting to rain and I’m not prepared for rain. I look down and I’m wearing skirt and sabrinas and the weather is definitely becoming nastier. So I say, ok you’re right, I accept the ride.
But when I looked down I also saw I had pantyhose on one leg but not on the other and they were also quite dirty. What the hell! So as we leave the building, I first sneak behind the entry desk and try to take off the pantyhose. He comes back looking for me and finds me with skirt up, pantyhose down and trying to adjust my underwear who also got out of place with this tricky move. Embarrassing, but he just does his best to ignore and tells me I forgot money on a table in front of the couch I was sitting on. I did? So I go back and find a lot of coins on the table. Think it was not so much and shouldn’t really care about it, but he says that it doesn’t matter, it is my money, I should take it. Ok, ok. As I start putting it in my purse, the coins transformed into pieces of fruit and in the end my purse was full of fruit salad.


Hacking a building
There’s an announcement about the day with no cars (happens every year) and immediately I see the roads with no cars and a family cycling around the neighbourhood. They go up a ramp and I follow them – until now I was just watching but now I materialize. On top of this ramp is actually a dead end so I wonder where they disappeared into. When I turn back, this is no longer a street but actually a closed precinct, like the backrooms of some public or governmental facility. Then I find myself with 2 other friends and we make a challenge to each other – break in, do the tour of the building and leave without a trace. There are vigilance cameras everywhere, so it won’t be easy. As soon as I leave this room, the hallway has a camera and I know it is just a matter of time until a guard appears. I just have enough time to break in the door at the end of the hallway, my friends follow me and we close and block the door when the guard is about to catch us. Now we face a new challenge as this room has no other exit. We decide to go through a vent and get out on the control room, where the guards should be, but since they are still trying to break in the first room we blocked, now we can hack their computers and tapes and delete all recordings about our little adventure. As my two others friends are deleting the files, my attention goes to a corner where there is a basket full of teddy bears. I wonder what they are doing there and can’t resist to go through them, looking for one that is cuter and eventually take it with me, but in the end, they are all cute but none really stands out so I leave them, wondering why guards need teddy bears.
The door of this control room is locked electronically – so nobody enters or exits, while the guards are out – but my friends broke in the code and tell me a sequence we’ll need to insert on this door and a next door we will find. But hey, I’m distracted with toys, so I don’t recall the numbers. Fortunately my friends are better concentrated and remember it for me. When we unlock all the doors, we find ourselves moving to an entrance lobby with visitors and a kid notices we’re coming out of a restricted access area and asks us if we should be there. I smile at her and tell her no, that we’re hackers but we didn’t do any harm, we were just having a bit of fun and ask her to keep a secret.


Buddha Neo
Someone tells me “Did you know there’s a secret short movie that is a crossover of Little Buddha and Matrix?” No, I don’t know about that!!! So then I’m showed this amazing film with Keanu Reeves playing Neo (of course) and then he finds the truth inside the truth and becomes the Buddha (he also played Little Buddha) and the Buddha hacks the Matrix and kicks some asses, but also sits to meditate as Neo. Weird stuff but awesomely cool. I would love to see that movie!


4:45 GMT

A very quiet friend
I am at a lobby of some building with my dad, close to a desk. We’re waiting for someone or something, but it’s totally deserted. He makes some remarks how he feels uncomfortable with these places, especially when some weird people comes by – better beware of your purse - like... for example this guy that is coming in now! I wonder why he says that, it’s just my good friend H.L. from Estonia, whom I don’t see for a few years. I don’t mention this to him and simply go to my friend, also to scare my dad a little. He recognizes me and smiles but when I hug him he is distant and not really replying the hug. Then a blond girl with a kid appears and I wonder if they are together. Ok, but that’s no reason to be cold towards a friend. The girl finds this corner for kids, with a little castle for kids to play inside, and she leaves the kid there. I try to break the ice by saying how I would have loved to have one of those when I was a kid, but all I had was chairs, blankets and a lot of imagination. But she also doesn’t reply.


Sharing memories from Brussels
I’m in the middle of the street opening a letter that just arrived in my mailbox and I’m surprised to see it’s a renewal card for going to the cinema with discount, in Brussels! I don’t live in Brussels for more than 3 years and I also wonder how they got my new address.
Coincidentally, I see this lady which I know from tv, she is an actress and I know she lived in Brussels to and misses it a lot. So I start talking to her showing her the card and asking if she knows what’s about. She was totally surprised and didn’t first understand what I wanted. But as she looks closer to the card, she knows what I mean and makes a big smile. I tell her I also lived in Brussels and we start walking together exchanging stories about this city. It’s so rare to find someone who lived there and actually loved it, everybody always complains about the weather. As we walk we pass by this abandoned lot and I notice a lot of garbage, a few vegetable gardens and 2 dogs who soon start fighting. When I look again to my way, we encounter a friend of hers who’s waiting her with a car, we say goodbye and she leaves.


Buying groceries
I’m shopping on this little town grocery shop some food for me and taking to some group I’m hosting. I buy some tomatoes, eggs and I see these amazing carrots that are labelled organic but cost only 90 cts/kg. I find too cheap and ask the grocer if these are locally produced, by some villager or so. He confirms and goes about saying how amazing these carrots are, delicious and that he misses when all vegetables were so tasty and not these plastic chemical-filled things we eat nowadays. He starts talking about the wonders of organic farming and I smile. I want to tell him he his preaching to a converted, but he is now turning to some other clients, some villagers who are asking something about his ham. The grocer goes to the backroom and comes back with a piece of ham. He cuts bits for others to taste. But first he tastes it itself in a very ritualised manner and I realise the guy is a gourmet an totally obsessed about quality food. Before he also offers me some ham and then I have to explain why I’m vegetarian I turn away and pretend to shop some more stuff.


7:10 GMT – Wake up