Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some party with coworkers and their kids (I think). My boss, who is some random dude in his 30s, good looking but not my type, starts seducing me. I don't show interest, but I try not to antagonize him too much, afraid of his reaction. At some point I fall asleep in a couch and I wake up with him leaning over me, shirtless and I am afraid of what may have happened. I am fully clothed and there are still other people in the next room with the kids making noise, so I guess not much happened, but I don't know. Back to the other room, one of the persons is actually his wife and she is giving me a side look. I decide to leave as I feel uncomfortable. But I can't find my bag. I start looking for it and the kids basically mixed everyone's phones and other personal belongings and spread them on a couch. I find my phone but I still want the rest of my bag. Instead I find a plastic bag with my stuff in it. I am upset and say that the kids stole my bag. Their parents feel offended and don't like my accusation. They tell me I should just take the plastic bag because it's the contents that count, not the bag. I am pissed at all of them, but I accept and leave.
Some days later, at work, I have a meeting with my boss and Zilla, who also works with me. Our boss was recently promoted and I am actually happy it was him and not me, because I didn't want that level of responsibility. I feel less stressed and feel this could work well. Then he makes a stupid proposal that he wants to change everybody's schedule and make us all have two hours lunch breaks and leave later, because I need that time at lunch break to dedicate myself to some artistic project I am working on and which he wishes to support. I panic and say "Please don't! People want to leave early, they have families". Zilla is clearly very upset with the idea. Then the idiot says he doesn't care, he is full on in our relationship and wants the others to know about it and his support to me. And I am like "WTF are you talking about? We have no relationship!!!" And I am freaking out, because everyone will hate me and believe we are lovers instead that he is delusional..

I go on a desert trip with friends: three ladies and a guy. We stop our jeep at some dunes to take some pics. The ladies have their hair wrapped up in shawls.

I convince mom to go with me to a local shelter, which also works as a dog hotel, to get our dog Lady who is there for some reason. Mom doesn't want to go, she is afraid to fall in love for some other dog at the shelter, but i explain we will only go to the reception and get Lady and she won't see any other animals. We get Lady but they want mom to register as a client (dog is hers, but I registered as the client). They ask her lots of stupid questions and even subject her to some sort of skills test. She draws an amazing picture, then they want to analize its meaning. I'm like "WTF?" but she is sort of enjoying it. Then we hear a large plane flying over us, someone shouting at us and the sound of what seems like a bomb dropping, so we duck under the desk. Then something heavy breaks the ceiling and falls close to my feet. It's a bomb and is about to explode. I know there is nothing we can do and we're about to die. I wake up in panic.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Something about russians and some test. Something on a public swimming pool, with a couple of ladies, crossing the locker room to avoid or meet someone, but then getting excited about a swim in the pool.

A friend says he invented a simulation of a nuclear bomb, but without radiation and the blast is harmless so wants to test it. I'm not feeling sure about that, but he insists on blowing it up and says we can hide in an underground shelter nearby. Strangely enough, he sets it off in the middle of a town, so I wonder about all other people if the test goes wrong. Anyway, he is not going to stop for anything and he blasts the thing off. The shock wave is strangely slow, so we can run ahead of it and seek the shelter. He doesn't go, but me and Alex and Zilla we run to it. Zilla is the only one who knows where it is. Alex trips when we cross a bridge and he grabs a piece of my clothing asking for help. But I tell him "it's ok, the bomb is harmless, you'll be fine." And I shrug him off and keep going (watch a bitch I can be). I look back a few steps later and ask him if he'll be ok? He ain't sure, but he doesn't complain and gets up to keep running.
Zilla finally stops behind a building with a garden and I ask if the bunker is there. She says no and that she also wants to experience the blast on the surface, but she is taking cover behind the building She finds a hose on a wall and takes an improvised shower. Recommends me to do the same, in case the blast is hot. I feel pretty upset with all this and think these guys are just fucking insane. The blast is coming.

I am a at a supermarket with Riverstone, shopping for food. Some troll just put 200€ of frozen fish on our trolley. We're vegetarian, I ask the cashier to keep it and take it away, but Riverstone is looking at all the codfish and saying maybe we should buy it for special occasions. I am pissed he is even considering that and say "absolutely no".

Everyone seems to be losing his/her voice. I am also starting to loose mine. It's some virus that's going around and infecting more and more people. It's afflictive.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

For a couple of months I couldn't post here due to some techical glitch, but today, finally, I managed to do so. Allelujah!

I was living at some community. I remember familiar faces, a stone house, a heavy wooden door, a basement. And then some intense lightning in the sky and everybody rushing to the outside to see it better.
From the clouds appears some kind of UFO, which turns out to be a flying blue convertible, which lands on a terrace nearby. Everybody runs to its encounter, but I stay behind at the entrance of the house. A guy from the group also doesn't join them and instead approaches me in a seductive way. I didn't know he was interested in me, but I like it. He holds me from behind, caresses me and starts undressing me. At first I'm a bit worried the others may come back and catch us. So when he asks me if I can put myself in a certain position. I hesitate. But then I cave in and we do it. It is so clear and real, that I feel everything in detail. I reach orgasm. I know by now that I am dreaming, but the effect is real and I wake up feeling the body spasms. They are so very intense that I feel the chakras below my waist vibrating with it.
The truth is, I had a strong pain in my coccyx for over more than a week, due to a fall when skating and I was considering taking an X-ray this morning. But as I felt that orgasm, I also felt I was being healed and I got up no longer feeling the damn pain.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

21:30 GMT+9 – sleep

My biggest fear
On some strange shop (like some Japanese shops I’ve been at) with really attractive cakes and sweets, but I couldn’t really tell if that’s what they were. Then a guy on the shop is taken down a corridor and told there’s a test to him. Behind a big door at the end of the corridor is the scariest thing that has ever haunted his dreams. In his case he says he used to play a game with his friends in which they’d hide and seek and the one seeking the others would incarnate a scary character they’d call the fog-man, a mythical creature that would take away the soul of the one found by him – and then this kid would replace the fog-man in his role. The man said he used to have nightmares with the real fog-man taking his soul. Then the people overseeing this test told this man that whatever he’d find behind that door would be his own mind’s creations and therefore if he was certain of that, they wouldn’t possibly harm him, but if he failed to recognise that... The door opened and out of it came a dense thick fog. He entered and the door was closed.
I also wanted to play. I opened the door and there was still fog but no signs of the man. The fog disappeared. I tried to think about what is that scares me the most and had this vague feeling of something unknown and scary coming out of the darkness and attacking me but before it would materialise I decided I was in the control of my mind and therefore no fear would take over. Then all the fog and light darkness dissipated and I found myself in an empty room with a mirror and a door. I positioned myself in front of the mirror, saw my reflexion. I was dressed in white and yellow and although I looked a bit strange it was still my normal look, no monstrous face or anything of the kind. I’m semi-lucid and I dance a little bit both to increase lucidity and test my image on the mirror. I manage to prolong lucidity but it is still weak in terms of control. Not sure about what to do I decide to summon all of the people I know through the door. Soon I start seeing people from my past, present acquaintances, family, “enemies”. I can’t tell if everyone is there, it would be impossible, but soon they start interacting with me.
I lose lucidity. I am with my aunt India and my friend Zilla. Zilla decides to call my old friend Mara, whom I don’t see since her wedding. Her brother answers the phone. Zilla doesn’t say a word and he gets upset. He hads the phone over to Mara in the hope the person will talk to her. She asks “who’s there?” and I can see both people on each side of the line now. I tell Zilla this is a stupid game and I don’t see the point of it. Mara then thinks she knows who can be and gets very worried. She says “don’t worry, I will come for you. I’ll help you.” Obviously she thought someone in distress was needing her help. I tell Zilla to please stop it and just say something on the phone!
Then I am engulfed by a lot more people I know and there’s this lady, who’s my opponent in my work and hates my guts, among them. When I see her I remember we were both at a same party some past time and we talked to each other when we were so drunk already and our hate transformed into attraction and we had kissed. I was wondering how could we still be mad at each other after that. We had been stripped down from our divergences and connected as human beings, but here we were still as enemies.
Then I’m outside in some big city with skyscrapers and neon lights. I enter a van and someone else is by my side. Zilla is on front seat by the side of the driver. She hands me over a synthesizer she bought but I already have other things on my lap I also bought and she feels angry with my refusal to take up more stuff.
Then on some kind of mall I see a lady doctor famous in my country who is giving an interview about birth and how women should embrace hospital methods instead of this trend of natural child birth at home, cause so much can go wrong and they need medication and blah-blah. I go to her and make a phenomenal speech to counterbalance – not radical, but very well balanced I refute her ideas that seem to approach giving birth as being seriously ill. Then my friend Zilla and others come with a more radical attitude and start making hate speech and mess up everything. I later ask why they did it and they said I sounded to compromising. I told them I had simply used skilful means to pass the message across without conflict. By then I have a group of followers and admirers but among this group there are a few who don’t understand my way of doing things and always create a fuss. I’m on some high room with view over some kind of inner court. People are down there celebrating the result of some football (soccer) game and I comment loudly about the frivolity of such celebration. They get upset. They accuse me of being peaceful and moderate to the outside but quite radical inside and that the radical activists that are around me just reinforce that I am a secret extremist. As I seek to be alone to digest such accusations, these two radical friends of mine follow me and I scream at them to leave me alone, that it is their fault people think such things of me. Walking down a street I encounter another guy that went to school with me. We talk and I conclude the big issue here to be solved is if I am becoming what my father said I would become or the opposite of that. Am I an extremist under disguise or am I really becoming moderate and if so, am I moderate in the sense my father preached (which resembled too much with conformity) or am I moderate due to wisdom and maturity? As I wander through these philosophical matters, I conclude, after all this dream sequence, that my biggest fear of all, is to become like my father or the person my father wants me to be.

03:00 GMT+9

Cat stapled
My cat is showing some discomfort. I cuddle him and find a staple on his belly. I take it off gently. My mom is upset and worried and I search for more. I find lots of staples on his skin. We don’t know how this happened and feel sorry for the poor fellow.

Friends and relationships
I’m in the middle of a crowd who’s watching a movie on an open air cinema. I am by the side of two old girl friends from school and all is fine until it starts raining. At first it’s ok, but my friends start complaining it’s raining too much and open an umbrella. Then not even that is enough and they want to leave. But I’m just fine. The rain is not really wetting me and I say it is just dream rain. Still they leave and I decide to go along. Didn’t go lucid.
Then sitting around a wooden rectangular table with my friends. One is Mara and she says her husband calls her names and I assume he is also violent with her. She asks for advice and I say she needs to get away from him, but she doesn’t want to. Then he also joins the table and I change subject but she says we can go on, that she doesn’t want to make it a secret. My other friend present doesn’t understand this, thinks he’ll get mad and beat her up later but I say maybe she wants to confront him but can’t do it alone, so we should help. He says he likes her, but she didn’t reveal to be the woman of his dreams and so he gets angry sometimes out of frustration. I ask him why doesn’t he simply leave her and go look for that dream woman? I say if my dream guy was Brad Pitt, I would go after him, no matter what and not beat some other guy for not being Brad Pitt. He feels embarrassed by seeing the ridiculous and we laugh together.
Then my boyfriend comes up and he insists on having sex immediately. I don’t think it is appropriate and also I feel like he wants to force me like a punishment for something. He drags me to some room and rips my clothes off but I get really upset with his attitude and I escape from him. Outside I meet this guy who I had a crush for in highschool. I am happy to see him and I follow him. He is climbing some steps to go inside a house. I go to. It’s like an antique shop but with rooms. I lie down on some sofa, my friend who was with me on the wooden table before is here now again and notices my interest in this guy. She says I should go for it right now but I feel bad, I just said no to my boyfriend. Then the guy comes to me and ask if I have some deodorant. I find that question completely dislocated but my friend says he is really into me and wants to be fragrant for me. I feel yuc!

06:00 GMT+9 – wake up