NyxCC

Date: 03 July

Pre bed: 300 mg valerian

Wbtb: 1/2 latte (other, around 40 mg caffeine)

In this ld series, counted at least 3 DEILDs, memory not at best, many locations

I get lots of HI, some are very clear and I am able to hold a few for a while but not enter them, also some fake hand movements etc.

Mini dream: On a balcony, they are constructing a bridge over it, I have some awareness that this is a dream but soon wake up.

Mini-ld: We are in the middle of having a dinner and I find myself chewing on tasty lettuce. Bf tells me about people having these phantom limb sensations, I reply that this is because they were dreaming, it's the dream body moving. I move my dream hands to check if they fit comparing them to previous HI attempts. All in.

I'm sitting next to bf and see this glow around his head. Could this be real bf? No, I don't think it's him. I say something to him I can't recall and watch for the reaction. The scene devolves into a mildly creepy one where my voice turns into a dry ghostly whispering independent of my command. I also feel some part of my real body (like back or hands supposedly) as I'm about to consciously exist any moment. There are other disturbing noises and I'm so not in the mood to deal with this and wake up.

I take a mini toilet break then back to bed.

LD pack: My recall is bad on this one, I think I deilded at the end. Once again I find myself with bf in a dark room and this time it develops into a full blown Xanous like scenario, bf is quick to disappear and this eerie invisible entity comes instead.

This whole thing is probably just my imagination but I feel I can't control the entity. What it does is lift me upside down at the level of the ceiling and keeps me spinning and spinning in the air. Continuous spacial rotation is not pleasant and you get dizzy just like irl (without expecting it). I'm hoping that this would stop but it doesn't so I decide to attack the thing. I do my best trying to take it apart, it looks like some movie type of dark creature. Since nothing helps, I let go and leave it spin me around to see what happens.

Memory gap so not sure what happened next.

I appear in a dark modern apartment. Do I know this place, have I been here before? The arrangement is somewhat similar to a few old non-lds but not exactly. I'm a bit suspicious that the dark entity drove me here and the confrontation will continue. Just remain calm and continue exploring around, and there is indeed nothing out of the ordinary. I remember the basic task of the month. In what looks like the kitchen are two DCs male and female involved in some sort of activity/experiment and photographing barbie legs or whatever.

I tell them to help me undress and they do. I think they managed to get all clothes but there was a reappearing underwear top thing that I had to take off. Memory gap.

Most likely this is where I went for another deild.

Fragment. I can't recall in which room I appeared but now am at our old place, pass through my room, talk to mom, tell her to open the door to the balcony. She tells me the door is open, I think just like in the dreams of (Sensei?) the doors are always open. I go on the balcony.

The scene is extremely beautiful and vivid though a bit unstable. It's a magical late afternoon and and there are hues of orange in the sky and some buildings etc. I make a mental note about that and cautiously proceed to examine it in a bit more detail before rushing off for totm. I take the time to examine the colorful flowers on the balcony and the surroundings, can feel the wind gently blowing. Ok, enough as I start worrying that I don't have that much time in the dream after all.

The idea is to get down and continue with the naked task with some random DC audience on the street. Time to make that jump again. I feel a bit bolder this time, go to the side where I often decent in my non-lds and take a look at the street, yard etc. The amount of detail is simply amazing - it's as if every piece of the memory falls into place. How am I able to reproduce all that, I have absolutely no idea. The thing that strikes me the most is the grass. There are a few longer types of grass next to the fence with long grass florets that casually and continuously sway with the wind. The scene is perfect.

I am preparing to jump down or get down using any means. I think at this point I might have lost the dream though. There were some DCs on the street I wanted to interact with. Memory gap.

The next scene I recall is a place similar to my school and I head for the window again. Think there was more between those scenes. Feeling bold again at this point, I don't care if I will be able to open the window or get through - the frames change so it is hard to get out but I am determined to get out. In the end it changes so I am able to open it and look down. It's high again. This is so tiresome. I worry that if I jump and fall too drastically this may destabilize the dream and make it go away altogether. What to do?

I decide to slide down the building or do the usual non-ld climbing down so scan the building for any frames, rails and similar items to hold on to. There aren't many of these on this building though, but I give it a try nevertheless. I start to slide down and immediately use the sticky fingers technique where my hands adhere to the surface. To my surpise it works really well and immediately slows down the sliding to almost a halt. This is great, so I will use this now to slowly slide down, but before I move too much, the building gets much shorter and it's as if I just teleported to the ground. Unfortunately, at this point the dream thins out and I'm back in bed

I hold still for a deild again while a bit worried about recall and whether I will be able to go back to the same scene.

DEILD:Back in the same scene! Ok, I decide to help stability a bit, there is a jar full of colorful sand and stones on a table near the building so I take it and pour some of the stones on my feet. They are gentle enough not to hurt but provide nice tactile sensations to hold on to. I also recall that other ld where I drank a glass of cold water and felt so much better. There is a glass and a bottle/bottles of cold water and I pour some on my head and (did I drink any?) and body and on my head again. The water is cold and absolutely refreshing. I think I will recommend this technique on DV.

I continue down the street and spot three possible locations to go to. It's nice and sunny with a feel for some exotic dream city. I stare at the three spots trying to feel which one is most inviting. In one of the places is an Asian guy dressed with cool clothes and a motor helmet. Looks like they are having fun there and I head in that direction but the guy is no longer there. Nearby is a huge head statue made of sandstone, it looks ancient and a booth where this lady is handing out free tickets for some event. I briefly wonder about this place. Then recall the basic totm, queue for a short while, grab the entry tickets undress fully and follow the crowd to whatever place they are going. People stare at me as I explain this is for the totm.

The place turns into some sort of a train/disco. I go further down the carriages of this crowded place. My best friend from school is now tagging along and I become really happy because she is the best companion to have in dreams. I feel a bit conscientious about my previous behavior and once again repeat that this was for the totm. "We just did the totm", I say. Let me see if this is correct. I try to remember what the tasks were, reaching for my memory while being cautious not to concentrate too much like that one time. Yes, that was one of the tasks. I also recall I wanted to look for Sensei. My idea was to teleport to him, but don't want to push my luck too far with that.

There are lots of DCs walking around and I scan them trying to see if Sensei might be among them. Nope. Ok, any of you guys good with teleportation? No reply. Ok, I guess I'll summon him then. *Thinking* There is a tall DC just round the corner. There!

A tall guy walks from round the corner and I begin to question him "Are you BrandonBoss?" He: "Huh? Brandonboss - you?" Points at me. Then points at himself. Me? No. He's got blue eyes and dark blonde hair. I decide to probe him again. He denies being BB and says something else I can't recall. Oh well. I leave him and continue down the carriages which is now more like I'm exiting a disco or bar.

There's a stand where they sell cigars and some of them are actually candy. I spot a really nice package of dream lollipops (under transformation) and feeling mischievous grab them. Yes, it's a dream so I can take this. Oh, wait, the other totm! I wonder if this counts, the lollipops turn into other appealing types of candy and chocolate before I start stuffing them in my mouth. They taste really good like a really pleasant chocolate and other fantastic sweets. I can't believe it but this time I chew all of them.

I'm wondering what else to do here when the dream comes to an end.

Date: 06 June

Didn't plan to wbtb but woke up super alert and couldn't fall asleep for quite a while. Had to rush so left only key words and wrote the entry much later. Apart from that I can say that this was probably one of the longest lds I've had.

Ld: I appear on the street in a car, some guy nearby. For some reason I decide to think of my physical body and panic as not to wake myself [have been reading about this on the forum and got some sort of schema infection]. I try to ignore it and concentrate on the dream, get out of the car. On the street, I run into a chick with a black dress, try to kiss her for totm but wake up.

I wait for another dream.

LD: In an apartment with my mom (this dream lasts super long, I don't try to memorize the details though). Mostly spend it in the apartment, walking around and talking to mom, trying not to control or influence her. Very stable. Mom is talking like a normal person. I kiss her on the cheek for totm.

I examine the living room, the objects - wooden Mayan statues like the face of Pacal. Kids collectible toys on nearby shelves - I start to recognize them, false memories, they are mine. This place, I have been here before. I face mom and start questioning her about all this. She explains something about this being in the future and our new place.

What's interesting is that I feel super alert. I scan my awareness and I feel this wakefulness - very alert and just as if in real life. I think it's impossible to be dreaming this alert and yet I'm here. There's an Asian DC in place of mom now and a second DC next to her. I intensely question the first about the dream and place but she only smiles shyly. A moment later something happens super fast - there is some sort of an open box and the Asian woman disappears into it - like genie into a lamp sort of but vanishes to leave the empty open box. The other DC turns into some weird objects - it's hard to tell what they are, they turn to little plastic soldiers then transform into other plastic colorful objects.

I remember the meteor task and go to the window, stare at the sky to see a meteor form out of the nothingness. It then moves from the distance following a twisted trajectory, decelerates to fall in front of the window and into a shallow water that covers the street where it disintegrates. I'm a bit disappointed that there is no showy splash or damage, so repeat the process with two smaller meteorites that fall and dissolve in the same way.

The dream continues and I turn back to the apartment where I hang out more. I begin to feel possible lack of ability to stay here, so I go into the kitchen to drink a glass of refreshing cold water. This helps me feel better and focus. A moment later I decide to fully immense in living in this other place and have breakfast. My mom serves me some eggs, they weren't as delicious as I had hoped for but ok.

At some point my bf arrives, where we discuss the place and future but I lose lucidity.

The next part I recall is that we are strolling on the beach and I'm lucid again, reshaping the beach and calming down the waves.

My recall is completely fragmented at the end but after some more on and off lucidity I end up in a church watching DC wearing weird clothes.

Pre pre: turmeric

Wbtb: had 1/3 latte, was more sleepy, so the ld was more stable, but tasks less accessible.

A dream starts with some scenario going while I'm in my bed in ex-bedroom trying to fall asleep. A moment of the usual confusion as I'm uncertain in the darkness which hands I'm moving. I think I'm moving my real hands because I can touch some of the furniture next to the bed. Then decide to make the dream appear, get up and expect to be able to move in the dream scene, which builds now fully around me. With slightly more confidence I go to the other room, where I examine the furniture layout. Contrary to my expectations the room seems very orderly, and nothing stands out to point out this is a dream. It looks suspiciously realistic and as if this is happening now. Then I have a look at the sofa and see dad and bf relaxing on the opposite sides.

I remember I wanted to do the easter egg task again. This time, I decide to just think of it rather than use hand summon to make the egg appear, then look to my side. There is a weird looking plant which is decorated with eggs. I pick a purple colored egg from the plant and remind myself to break it. Yet, the egg feels hollow and light and I'm afraid there won't be anything inside. I hold it for a while trying to make it a bit heavier and fill it with something to see. The egg remains light and I now worry that if I don't hurry up, these mental efforts will make it transform to something else, so go ahead and break it. The initial impression is that there is nothing inside, but as I examine the small pieces of egg shell fallen in, I notice there are a number of miniature banknotes inside the egg. I make a mental note for the journal.

The DCs change positions and now it's mom, dad and bf sitting on the couch and I start asking them questions. Unlike other of my conversations with DCs, these three can actually speak, forming entire complex sentences more or less answering my questions. I believe I have finally come across smart DCs. Unfortunately, I was unable to recall the most of the things they said, and had not been very prepared to ask them more questions either. This is what I remember.

My first thought is to wonder if it's possible those to be the real people I know, where we are all dreaming this here and now. I have some intuition that this isn't the case, but then wonder if it could be that all of us are engaged in this conversation in a different time (like the past or maybe the future), so I ask the DCs about that. My mom's DC starts to explain something about animals having the ability to do something similar to what we are doing now, but humans have lost this ability. I want them to continue explaining and ask them more questions I can't recall. The only gibberish moment happens when I focus too much on the speech and try to apply extra understanding to it. If I casually listen, they continue with their explanations.

The DCs change to other male DCs I don't know, they continue being smart and I feel close to them as if meeting friends I haven't seen for a long time. The conversation continues and I ask one of the guys something about the dream. He makes a remark that long dreams like this can be especially tiresome for some of the participants as if referring to himself. I'm out of ideas for questions, so try to remember the other tasks but the very strong effort to access this hard to reach memory causes the dream the completely collapse and me to wake up.

I do a mental review and still tired continue sleeping.

Pre bed: lecithin

Pre wbtb dreams: vivid but didn't write down when natural wakes so forgot

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

It was very hard to convince myself to do a wbtb as I was feeling so nice and sleepy. The lds were interrupted so my memory is a bit hazy for all details.

I miss the transition and a dream starts.

LD [summary]: In a dream version of my school and class starts. I become lucid and decide to do my location experiments [go from one place to another or as far as possible without the world changing]. After opening a door after door after door, I finally manage to leave the room and continue down a very distorted corridor, then struggle to maintain the building as is. The dream interrupts a few times/blindness. I get out of the building but unexpectedly teleport in front of our old place. Here I feel weirdly confident about being able to change the surroundings by simply turning around due to the high level of instability. Yet, it's against my initial goal, so I continue exploring the street with emphasis on proximity until the dream blacks out.

DEILD/or in dream chain:

I appear in the bathtub a bit uncertain about what's going on. Awareness increases and I move my hands around to stabilize, etc. What's interesting is that the bathtub is getting full of nice warm water that feels quite similar to rl. There is also music coming from somewhere, I assume it's my dream tablet. Still a bit confused about which dream goals I was supposed to be doing, I conclude that it is perfectly fine for me to just relax in the bathtub and listen to the music. The song sounds like depeche mode and in the dream I know the song and chorus lyrics. I chill out and listen to about half the length of the song, where the lyrics are a bit gibberish and I also don't know them, but once the chorus comes, I confidently sing with it. Also, at the end mentally manage to increase the volume of the invisible tablet for an ever better sound. [Post dr: have no memory which Depeche mode song this was or what those lyrics I knew were, it may be possible I came up with a different song altogether!]

There's a blackout/dream end and possibly I wait as in deild for the dream to continue.

The next moment, I'm back in the bathtub examining my hands and wondering what's going on. Minor confusion but then I mentally fill the bathtub with warm water again and pay attention to the sensation. I think about the dream length and conclude not to worry as I probably have caught a long rem rebound. Finally remember a task - easter egg and remind myself I can summon one. I close my hands and try to produce an easter egg - something egg-like comes into existence, with decorations and stuff, possibly plastic. It then undergoes changes and becomes completely transparent. This kind of defeats the purpose of the task since I'm supposed to open it and I try the summon again. Once more I get some strange transparent plastic foil egg with cool colored pics on the surface and another transparent plastic egg inside. I think this is like a balloon and wonder about it being ok for the task. As I examine the pics for the journal I notice that the inside egg has now colored pictures of balloons on the surface and the outside egg some disney characters like Mickey and Pluto. I think at this point the dream fades again and I end up mid way to wake.

DEILD/or in-dream chain:

Memory gap but I'm now in my old room and remember the next task - to come up with a new plant. I approach the window and see a plant whose foliage already looks weird, the leaves are similar to pelargonium but more curled. I decide to add random red fruit there, getting a mini-mental image but this doen't change the plant accordingly. There are two plants now, and without touching them and using mind, I start to twist their leaves and stems into all sorts of shapes, trying to create some sort of different plant. In the meantime flowers appear on one of the plants - two different types but they are almost drying now. More manipulation until in the end the plant turns into a smaller plant, mix of an orchid and violet. I think about the size then conclude this experiment in botanics is enough.

I then recall the tornado task and look out the window, thinking about one. The sky is gray and a tornado appears in the distance. It does look quite large and menacing and I briefly give in to paranoia, wondering whether I should hide since it is coming in my direction. Then I look at the opposite part of the sky and see that another one has formed. Two tornadoes, task complete and my mind is off the paranoia. Since this task is in line with my improve element manipulation goal, I wonder what else can I do here and decide that the thing to do would be to get rid of the clouds and tornadoes.

I go out on the balcony and focus on a tiny area of the sky that is blue and hold my hands up as if I'm stretching the blue sky gap, then decide to use the cover with hands tech to continue, covering the entire sky with my hands but for the gap of blue sky, so that the only thing I see and perceive is the blue sky (thus making me think of only blue sky). Allow a short while to pass, then move my hands away to see that the sky is indeed clearing up and is mostly nice blue sky. There are a few completely black clouds in one corner which I find interesting. Thinking about more element manipulation, I want to do something to the other clouds now - rearrange the sky again. I pick up a tiny white cloud and try to stretch it to the sides with my fingers (not really touching it) but end up actually holding a tiny piece of cloud in my hand.

I contemplate what else to do, might as well do the zoom task finally. Look to the other side of the balcony, where I see the neighbors' kid and his grandma and try to pick up a spot to zoom into. I look at a spot that will not be a too drastic scene change and point out to it, saying something like I want to be there. Nothing happens, but I see a second transparent but colored layer of my finger while pointing. The kid says something meaningful, giving me the impression of a smart DC so I think about interacting with him, also mentally remind myself not to lose my lucidity when doing so. The dream ends, back in bed and waiting for a bit but nothing more happens.

Date: 18 March

Pre bedish: Vit C, l-arginine

Not quite the same results with vividness compared to the last time (15th) that used l-arg, but the wbtb did it

Pre wbtb dream: somewhat vivid but quite evasive for recall

wbtb: 1/3 latte

LD1: The beginning memory is quite vague but the dream starts in my parents' place where I shortly talk to dad, some minor awareness about this being a dream that goes away the next moment. A relative comes and I go to greet her but notice that she is shaking, try to calm her down and hug her but she shakes more. I take a look at my hands and for the first? time I see an extra finger next to each one (they are kind of separated yet moving together with my hand). This doesn't quite jolt me into lucidity as I don't give it any thought at all, still concerned about my relative. As I move a bit I finally recall the short lucid moment before and remember I was supposed to be lding. I walk around with no particular place in mind when I feel the dream starting to thin out. In addition, there is this real but dream amplified sensation of hunger in my stomach, which makes the dream even more unstable and me very pissed off. I drag myself forward near some furniture with a rather defeated mindset.

Then I see dad sitting at a long dinning room table and recall the Mad Hatter Tea Party task. I think my mom was also there, so I turn to the kitchen and tell her to make me some tea. I look at the kitchen but my mom has disappeared. No, just when I need her DC she's gone, I turn around and try to summon her, which should be easy, still no DC. Quite interestingly, I do hear loud noises coming from the kitchen as if she is there - the water running, dishes, etc.

I decide to summon a cup of tea myself and more like a habit, I move my hands closer as if holding a cup of tea and the next moment I start distinguishing the light tea liquid in between. After a bit, a china cup appears there as well. My mood is super elevated after this - an effective summon in direct eyesight - not what I expected! I place it on the table - its existence is very shifty, where I try to manipulate it into a proper looking and full tea cup. In the meantime, if not mistaken mom comes and leaves a small tea cup at the table. I pour some of the liquid from the large one into the small one. Now everything looks satisfactory. The cups are still a bit shifty now with blue decorations. This is probably the only less rushed part of the dream, where I actually decide to take a moment and examine the picture at the bottom of the cup and memorize it. It is a typical Chinese decoration in blue - a village person with a Chinese straw hat as if fishing barehanded in the river in front of a village. I even get to feel some cool false memories/info about the people that used this cup at this point in the past and their life.

The next thing I need is a rabbit and I think about one while looking around, then turning to dad to see that he is holding one - a real rabbit, but as I come closer to examine it becomes a stuffed toy rabbit. Oh, well, it's still a rabbit. Now I need the mad hatter and as planned I want to summon Johnny Depp to represent him. This will be a tough one, so I decide to summon him as Jack Sparrow as this role has the strongest impression for my mind. I need to feel his presence, so I kind of shortly turn into him myself as I shout out full of emotion in a deep male pirate voice "Captain Jack Sparrow". A bit worried about the strength of my voice waking me up. This is enough to cause strong thoughts about the character and a JS DC appears in front of me. He's not wearing all the make up, but has pirate clothes and the dreadlocks. Similar to my cup summons, his facial features quickly change to those of a random DC. That doesn't matter now, I notice he wears no hat and if he is the mad hatter he has to, so I think about a hat, see one, then another one that I triumphantly place on his head. Ok, where were we? Briefly lose mental focus, then recall about the poem. I only manage to say the first word and the dream quickly thins out.

My concentration/mental energy has been rather poor for a deild. I review the dream, conclude that this was probably it for this month, since it will be difficult to go through all the summoning again. I feel tired and decide to just sleep.

A few short non-lds and then:

LD2: Weirdly, (or not!) I'm at my parents place again. Initially we are inside and my parents interact with this strange retriever type of dog. But something's totally off with it. It comes wearing some sort of a napkin mask and as I try to ask the dog about it, it seems to be trying to talk - like a person with his mouth shut, he (later she) makes some noises that sound like real words that almost make sense to me. I begin to suspect that this is actually a person undercover. He also runs like a person in the yard and it turns out just that - some French girl is pretending to be the dog.

We are outside now and some family friends are visiting. I make comments about the way they are dressed. Suddenly, it dawns on me that I am at the same location of the previous dream and indeed dreaming. I wonder what to do and discard the idea of going for the totm again since there won't be enough time to complete the task, yet since there's nothing else to do and maybe it's no coincidence I have another dream here, decide to go ahead anyways.

There's a part that's open to the yard like a garage with lots of tables and all the family & friends DCs walking around and being super loud. I try to summon a cup again, this time one appears on the table where I'm standing. Also, in the distant end of the garage is another table with two large tea pots. I bring the cup over there, but it fills up with sugar as I examine the items on the table. I guess that's enough for a tea party and decide not to mess with the stuff anymore. The light in the garage gradually goes down - this is also the end of the garage, near the wall. The DCs make their way around the table, taking part of the tea party. I need the rabbit and without actively summoning it, notice that on one of seats around the table is actually sitting the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland (1951), wearing the playing cards type of clothes. He is animated, which is strange, but I'm just happy about the summon and wonder what to do about the mad hatter. Again, unexpectedly as I look to my other side I see the mad hatter (1951). It takes me a bit to actually realize that I'm looking at the mad hatter from the movie. What is even more interesting is that I get this very convincing memory that the clothes that he is wearing in the dream are the correct ones - and he is a wearing green! (later checked to find out that it's the right attire). The dream becomes extremly dark at this point with one last effort I make all the DCs repeat with me the poem-like thing I prepared for this event :

"Lucid dreaming,
what's the meaning
something's flying in the sky,
awesome feeling
rabbits speaking
why, Ophelia, why?"

The dream is gone and I end up with a short session of SP (being unable to move, while feeling my physical body, seeing only darkness). I wait it out, thinking I must have been on my back (slightly to the right but yes) and start telling myself about the dream.

DEILD: I expect to wake up, but involuntarily deild back instead. My mental continuity is messed up and during this part I shortly believe that I haven't left the dream at all. I examine the mad hatter character residue who turns into normal DC. I go outside and wonder what to do as there still might be some dream time, briefly question if it was ok to do another task, where I think about going for toty. I decide to go ahead. Some background DCs and me are in the yard now. There's a small black hound-like dog running around that distracts me and I try to ignore it as much as possible, while thinking about the beanstalk. I see some sort of bean-like seeds on the ground and take them, looking for a good place to plant them. I open my palm and see them undergoing many changes - all sorts of colors and shapes and try to make them a particular sort of beans again. After some struggle they look like dark red beans and I place them on the steps where there is a lot of muddy soil and cover them with it. One stone's hanging above and I think it will mess up how they grow, because of my thoughts. Anyways, I start to think about them growing and they grow into small shoots. The dream fades.

Note to self: All of the actively summoned objects were shiftier than the rest of the dream (cup, rabbit, js, beans)

Date: 11 Feb

Pre bed: lecithin

Wbtb: 1/3+ latte

Was feeling super sleepy and even after the latte and mantras, I knew if I fall asleep nothing's going to happen. So I try to seriously to project my intent forward and expect an ld.

DILD: I mostly have some unconscious moments and then the next thing I remember is that I am involved in this dream in our old place, some scenario going on, but at the back of my mind is this vague thought about lucidity. It's mixed with all the false thoughts about the current dream, but for some reason I decide that whatever's going on is not to my liking and that this is a dream. My dad's walking around as part of the pre-ld scenario and I follow him to the living room.

He sits on the sofa now and I remember about totm. I ask him for a dog biscuit. He instantly hands me something that looks like a rubber dog toy in the shape of a bone. I doubt it's edible and ask him again, where he hands me a smaller version of the same thing. As I examine it, it changes slightly in shape, but I'm still impressed it's the shape of a bone. I ask him a third time, hoping it will finally work. He gives me a small paper package with something like a biscuit sticking from one end. I take it out and it's a bone shaped dog biscuit. I take a bite and slowly chew to feel the taste, it actually tastes pretty nice and fresh, like a normal biscuit and has this very pleasant walnut flavor.

Then, I recall I wanted to ask about true love and ask dad. He doesn't give me a direct answer but addresses the question and makes some rhymes (word starting with o?). Mom is now sitting next to us and I ask her as well. She gives me a long philosophical answer that sounds appropriate, but can't really recall. Then I go back to dad and ask again and he gives me his previous answer.

I go to my room and decide to leave the place and see my friend a few streets away. I'm floating, moving towards the balcony door and open it using tk/thought, another one behind it, open it as well. I think about floating down like this but want to go in the other direction so descend in a hard to describe dream way down the balconies which by then become much longer than rl. I have the feeling that am moving much faster than the dream is building, so slow down and have a quick look at some items in front of me. Only one more story to jump and I wonder from which side it will be more convenient to go - back yard or the street will yield less distortions. The dream becomes shifty and by the time I reach the street, it changes to a different place. I try to bring the old street back by turning around and describing what should be here. The neighbors, this guy's place. I correctly recall he was in the previous dream. Yet, the street remains the same. The dream soon ends. I feel like continuing sleeping, but start to forget details already.

Date: 06 Feb

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

I have a number of short lds that I chain through the void. Summary

LD: In my old room, stabilize by touching furniture. Notice that lamps are on. Find a newspaper I try to read with difficulty for a while. The lamps go off, I become blind and then the dream blacks to the void. I stay there for a bit, waiting for the next dream.

LD: In a car, get out of the car, notice my reflection in the windows. Hair is the same, but it gets in my face, I make a ponytail. I want to change the scene, try splitting the space, I feel another place, but nothing visually changes. I get bored, allow myself to fall back. This yields a number of sensations as well as weightlessness. The dream fades to the void. I wait for the next scene.

LD: I find myself in a nice hotel lobby, bright flowers decorate the place. Some guest DCs, a monk at the distance catches my attention, I go to check it out. The monk is gone but a few DCs are paying their respect to a metal statue. I have some mischievous thoughts, but bow down instead. There are two more statues (not in service), metal turtles. The dream fades to black, I stay still for DEILD but it takes a while.

Review in head, feeling tired, I fall asleep.

DILD+: on and off lucidity, FA, in- dream wild and sexy time

DILD: I find myself in this familiar place and start looking at the plants near the windows, try some tk on them, but it doesn't work. I think maybe there's a reason for this. Then I turn to examine the room, everything looks kind of blurry and unstable. My attention is caught by those lamps - three lamps, I try to identify if they come from a memory or just random ones, it's like my vision almost splits in two and there is a fourth lamp, but I try to focus more and they're back to three. I mentally make a note of the bad quality, then go down the stairs. I immediately regret doing so, because I run into the B6 DC and she charges at me. At this moment, I become quite concerned that this might truly be some sort of evil entity just using her form to terrorize me. It's just too active, so lively in the eyes and so aggressive. I have no choice but to face her. I think I say a few words, but her mood remains the same. Then I decide this is a good opportunity to do my breathing and concentrate on that. I do this for a while. In the meantime, she seems to have changed her mind about attacking me and is weeping.

Memory gap, possibly another blackout.

DILD: On the street now and I see this empty space in the horizon and recall I wanted to use something like this to draw a mountain. A bit uncerain if the dream will last long enough, with all the blackouts and instability before. I decide to go ahead with the summoning, yet before I do any motions with my hands I notice that the space isn't quite empty. It looks like in the very distance, as if seeing through the fog is something that looks like a large mountain. As I keep staring at it, it becomes much clearer and closer, till I find myself looking at a solid spot of the mountain covered with grass. The surroundings have changed without me noticing and I am at the foot of this huge mountain. I cover the majority of it with snow until I feel it's enough for the task. Then I examine the slope, which is initially way too steep to enable any upward movements. This worries me but I move to a part of it and feeling very excited summon a pair of ski and ski poles.

I totally can't believe the summon worked as I have nothing to do with this sport. Anyways, I start gliding up the slope, which by then is less steeper. Contrary to my expectations from real life, this is not as hard and actually pretty pleasurable. I glide upwards the slope which goes up and down and it feels as if I am on a roller coaster. Then I reach the top of the mountain and feel adventurous, contemplate on jumping from the top or skiing down. Yet before I can decide what to do, the momentum carries me forward and I continue moving in the air. I notice that I feel no switch in sensations from gliding on the mountain surface to this weird air movement. My mood is great, I gaze to what's ahead and not below me. It is a beautiful view of green plains, with a weird building with one-two statues in the distance and a very large gray palace next to it.

At this time it clicks this could so well be the palace I wanted to summon (while reviewing tasks during wbtb). I'm still skeptic that will be able to make it and complete the entire task but give it a go. Don't remember flying for a long distance, it's like the palace became closer as I started to focus on the steps of the task. I go in what looks like museum palace lobby, there's some thematic furniture, long red carpet or velvet curtains, don't pay too much attention to them. I immediately think dad. That's actually quite easy and there he stands in one of the side corridors. I say a few words to him, to mentally confirm this is going the way it has to be. Then start looking for the beast but there is no one in sight.

The room I'm in is pretty small and there are stairs going down and I go to the lower floor, looking for the beast. I run into an old Chinese man that I try to make look scary but no matter how much effort I put into this, he stays the same. I obviously start making scary faces and roar in an attempt to distort his features into evil ones, but he looks scared as hell and is shivering. I can't believe my DC is afraid of me and where is that beast? A couple of DCs that I don't pay much attention to appear and there it is - a disgusting beast. It looks like one H. Bosch's animals - a mixture of different animals, like a large pink pig and echidna, strange fur and the nose of a mole. It also is spitting something poisonous from its month and hissing. I so much regret not being able to summon my much now friendly looking lion man at this point.

Disgusted, I approach the wild creature, tell him I love him (it) and kiss it near what looks like its mouth. I remain with my eyes closed and wait a bit, but can still feel this thing aggressively making breathing noises and moving around. I know the curse has to be broken but nothing happens, and I can't take the little bugger any more. It's somewhat smaller now - the size of a cat maybe and I throw it away where it gets under some furniture. That thing keeps making the sounds, but looks wounded and in the next moment I see that it gives existence to a DC that comes out from under the furniture. To my amusement, it is a female classmate. Good enough I suppose. The dream soon fades.

Date: 24 Jan

Pre bed: 200mg val, 50mg B6

Wbtb: 1/4 latte

Wasn't very wakeful even though repeated mantras a few times, fell asleep rather fast, had a few non-lds I can't recall

DILD: I am having a tense conversation with this female DC I know. She starts criticizing me. I reply that as a revenge I will then do something to make her feel the same way she makes me feel with all her comments. While this is a rather habitual mental reaction, I notice that contrary to other times I don't feel anything at that very moment. Still, as part of my revenge scheme I take her and turn her upside down in front of all the DCs in the room to publicly humiliate her.

As I stare at her, I notice that she just stays there, like a motionless puppet and become lucid. We're in a very large meeting room with a long table in the middle and lots of DCs participating in some corporate event. I'm in a daring mood and decide it's time to defy social rules by getting on the table in the middle of this meeting. Then I almost lose lucidity being carried away by thoughts of how all of the world's problems may be solved by by issuing unlimited credit cards to the entire population.

I keep thinking about this issue as I leave the place and continue towards an unknown city center. There to help me focus more I shout out loud "I am dreaming". There was a slight instability so this helps me ground as well.

Then I remember the invisibility task and go in the middle of the road pretending to be invisible.There are cars coming from all directions but as soon as I pay attention to them, they hit the breaks and spin a bit. I turn around and the same thing happens again. Then I see this huge truck coming in my direction. I start waving hands, checking if the driver can see me. He doesn't hit the brake or slow down and the truck is quickly coming closer. I step to the side to avoid the impact. There's little space between me and the truck, my uncontrolled expectations cause it to fall sideways on top of me, where I feel this huge weight on me. I try to move and free my head, but this results in a physical feeling, which gives me the impression I have just moved in my bed. I expect to wake up any moment but get an FA instead.

I believe that I have woken up for real and the first thing I notice is this piano music coming from the outside. I'm actually in the neighbors where we used to live some time ago and look to find where the music is coming from. I see this girl that I remember (possibly from another dream but could be false memory) who got that piano there and something about her. As if that isn't enough, the balcony is crowded - many people in their 20s and 30s dressed with business attire as if attending some sort of event. I'm think this is just too much when I am trying to fall asleep and decide this can only be a dream, reminding myself that I was trying to ld. Can't member how, but it seems I lose consciousness after that and have another FA.

I think in the beginning, I'm looking from the window to see what's down but then the scene changes and we move to this wooden porch. I initially see this strange big animal that looks suspiciously like a DS, I can't tell what kind of animal it is. Then there is a smaller one and I'm still trying to identify the large one. I'm starting to have some real doubts about this and begin to count the animals, one now looks like a bear and can't remember the rest but there's four of them. I conclude this is a dream and go to interact with one of the animals. It looks like a very large black boar/tapir and as I place my hand on its snout, it bites me and it even hurts.

I move slightly to the left and examine the rest of the area, where I notice a number of elephant-like creatures. I think they are separated from the porch, but no cage, it looks much like in a zoo. At some point the elephants begin to distort in features, open mounts and start roaring very louldy in a generally unpleasant manner. I try to stop them by thinking I want them to stop, but nothing happens and more join the roaring event. I remain there staring at them as they do so, kind of calm, but there's also this deeper inner response to their roaring, which surely is what is affecting them. I think that the problem is exactly this feedback loop - I am thinking that they are roaring, therefore they continue roaring. Then conveniently, I recall the inivible task and think it can be applied quite nicely here. I think that I am invisible. To my genuine surprise, at this very moment all the roaring stops for good.

I'm curisous to how far I can take this with my supposed invisibility and turn around and try to sneak out, while carefully listening for any reaction. The dream fades.

Notes: I have reduced B6 dosage to 50mg as previously it made me too wakeful. Recent valerian series - characterized by difficult recall, lower lucidity levels and more bizarre occurrences, in particular animals.

Date: 10 Jan

Pre bed: turmeric

Sleep was rather bad, like I was lacking some sleep chemicals, recall from non-lds pre bed - close to zero.

Wbtb: felt sleepy, had 1/3 latte

DILD+DEILDs: In a room and there's this kid from my childhood and he is somewhat grown up now. I am thinking about that. He's naked from the torso up and is sweating while vacuum cleaning. I am sitting behind a desk, contemplating and the thought that I was supposed to be lding comes to mind.

I begin to examine the surroundings and wonder if this could be a dream. Yet my thoughts are so orderly and organized at this moment and everything feels more like real life than dream (no usual dreamy feeling).

I keep thinking in what feels like a daylife manner, reflecting on lack of dream feeling. I know that in such a case I have to perform a RC, but I don't see any sense (like it's possibly going to fail). Something in me tries to convince me and kind of distantly makes me feel that right now my body is in horizontal position and asleep. I conclude that it is a dream and remember my goals. There is a black girl with ponytail and I reverse the inital plan (make an old man younger for the opposites task) and decide that I will make a potion to make her age instead. I feel conscientious about doing this to a little girl and how evil it looks, but really want to see the results.

There are a number of small items like two small cups, nail-size gemstones and something else I can't recall. While the dream is generally very stable, it begins to thin out at this point and I am left feeling concentration wise powerless and slowly find myself back in my body. Not ready to let go I remain still and short afterwards the I am back in the same dream.

It comes slightly as a surprise that I succeeded to resume from the same place, but welcome it and continue mixing my potion that looks like a shot of cough syrup. If I am not mistaken by the time I'm done mixing the dream thins out again and I am shortly back in my body.

The dream resumes again. This time I wait a bit before undertaking any task related action, thinking it may be proper to stabilize at this point so I unconvincingly rub my hands and run my fingers through a nearby towel, feeling it's texture. At this point the little girl and my childhood friend are nowhere in sight. I move away from where I was standing and look around, the entire room looks extremely realistic and detailed, filled to the brim with objects. It's like I am really in someone's room or a life memory. There are way too many objects for me to memorize so I don't try to, just remember a number of toy boxes with something written on the them in red, and a very prominent display of video games. There are two black gaming machines like from the late 80s.

The DC of my bf comes from somewhere as I am examining the room. Suddenly, I feel coldness on my feet and look below to see that I am barefoot and feel the cold coming from the green tiles on the floor. This is simply amazing and this whole dream feels incredibly life like detailed and stable (not so much vivid as detailed). I analyze this and share it with my bf who agrees with me. At this point I briefly wonder whether I might have run accross a smart DC and should ask some questions, but then remember my other tasks.

This time it feels appropriate to summon a DC and work from there. I decide I want to call Mrs. and think about her. The part of the apartment where I am looking, mentally calling for her is a bit dark and I briefly worry a scary DC might appear instead, but in a second, a DC that closely resembles her comes in. She has some sort of hat/bandage on the head. I get closer and begin to examine her face, she has lots of wrinkles on her forehead, around the mouth and saggy cheeks. I place my palms above her face to cover the places I want to change and then move my hands away. Initially, her face remains the same, but after a few more procedures the wrinkles visibly diminish. She doesn't look as young as I wanted but at least her skin is in much better condition, as if she just had a facelift.

Somewhere around this moment, the dream fades again. I know the drill and continue as usual, in the meantime become worried about my memories after each blackout/deild. I mentally count the number of blackouts to be sure, 3.

Back in the same room. I feel that I have spent too much time with this task, while there were other main tasks I had in mind. Time to go out and look for a palace. I head for the window and look down. Nooo! The whole dream continues to be worryingly detailed and realistic and it doesn't feel like a good idea to jump out of the window. I gather courage and hang on to nearby windows and water pipes to go down.

On the street I look around for a suitable building but become overwhelmed. In every direction I look are closely packed residential buildings. Finally, one of the streets seems somewhat less cluttered with a larger building at the distance that leads me to believe there's enough room for a palace round the corner. As I head in that direction, I have to wait for a large industrial truck part that's slowly coming out of a garage to make a turn and continue in, of course, the same direction as me. I manage to squeeze between the building wall and the large truck part and reach the end of the street.

Unfortunately, this turns to end of town cars-only road with lots of concrete and weirdly shaped boulders, cars passing by in close proximity. I think that I don't want to change the dream too aggressively as not to compromise the coherence. But maybe not everything is lost, I just have to find a way to cross over and go to what seems like a more appealing part of town. The dream fades.

Date: 08 Jan

Pre bed: 3mel

Wbtb: 1/3 latte, around 34 mg caffeine

I'm quite sleepy and resist waking myself too much, but still try to stay as awake as possible while in bed, repeating mantras and goals. I fall asleep with some long deep REM rebound.

DILD: It's a very long dream where me and parents get ready for a trip. Then I meet a DC that feels like a kindred sprit, I am eager to discuss with him possible solutions to a problem we both have.

A few moments later, I realize that this is a dream and remember my goals, freeze water and go fishing. The guy disappears somewhere. I am walking in what looks like a park and as I think about the task, I see that there are large puddles of water all around. Initially, I try to use them for the task even though they are too shallow and begin freezing them by willing it as well as by placing my hands down over one of them, where while they freeze, they emanate coldness and there's a cool mist effect lifting from the puddles! But then I realize this isn't going to work for the task and walk a bit further where there's a much larger and deeper body of water, like a pond.

I will the water to turn to ice, but to my surprise nothing happens. This annoys me. I contemplate whether to just get on the water as if it is frozen, but am uncertain if it will work, if I continue to expect to sink if I step on it. In the meantime, the water finally freezes. When I look at the surface, I see that part of it begins to melt already and dig with my hands in the softened ice to make a hole. This happens quite easily with no discomfort from the cold. There's some coldness, but it's ok, since I didn't think about it too much. I put my hands through the hole, reaching as far as I can and expecting to run across a catch.

I wait for a while but there's nothing around them and it gets kind of creepy what might be lurking in the darkness below the ice. In the area that's partially covered with ice, I can now see a number of small fish swimming around and succeed in catching one. It is a small tropical butterfly type fish but silver and red. As I hold it, my bf appears next to me and I tell him to take a picture, which I so much wish I could bring to rl, but before he can take the pic, the fish escapes.

I become so happy that have completed the task, I lose lucidity and begin to tell the dream to myself. After a while, I realize the dream is still going. Now I'm on the street in some neighborhood, there is an unconscious movement from my part and I end up floating in mid air, slightly above the ground, very stable though. I correctly recall this feeling from many dreams I had and exclaim to myself that taking off isn't as difficult as I have thought (previously irl). This is a good opportunity to practice a bit of flying and I do some flight manipulation, where I try to think of the direction and my body flies well in that direction. Then I try to take a turn and go in the opposite direction, but it doesn't quite work.

More rather random movements mid air and then I fly high up near a tall residence building, where I climb the last three stories using my hands. I somehow take a step back (see the building from a distance, although I am at the level of the third to last story). A black dotted panther on the balcony catches my attention. It looks kind of small, but actually it is the right size compared to the balcony and the stuff around it. The whole building seems small as if I am looking at it from a distance, yet I am very close to it. I briefly pay attention to that, but then wonder no more. There is a dalmatian in the apartment with the panther and I just so love exploring people's places, like in many non-lds. On the balcony below is a centipede, a very long one, apparently the same size as the panther (fits the balcony lenght). It doesn't look very appealing and I see two more on different balconies, I become vaguely aware that I am causing the one-many effect.

At some point I discarded the idea of going for Toty, because I thought the dream might end, but since it's still going, I decide to give it a try. Somehow, I go down to the ground and begin exploring a dream version of a familiar street. The bus station is here, only residential buildings, some larger buildings appear, but nothing that looks like a palace. I head towards the larger buildings that seem suitable and try to think that one of them is a palace. It starts to change, more and more detail is added and it becomes a flashy top notch casino. I still believe I could change it to a palace by trying to add a few columns at the entrance, but just increase the level of detail/casino quality.

I move on to the next building's entrance, which I recognize as some sort of amusement area. There's a distant dream memory also at work. Since I don't feel I'll get anywhere further with the palace, I eagerly get in, looking forward to having some fun. At this point I remember a dream where I took a super cool ride at a place that looked like this and become very excited. The lobby of the place where they sell the tickets is visitor empty, there's just the guy that sells the tickets, a girl that will ride with me and a male DC. The tall male DC next to my right is accompanying me to the cashier and I get a number of false memories and begin to have romance thoughts about him.

The DC at the desk gives me weird instructions of how to properly hold to the cart and my behavior while next to the girl that's also taking the ride. She is new, so I have to be careful. Bla bla, my lucidity level is dropping. I go to the girl and we wait to be let in to the ride but the dream finally fades and I wake up.

Date: 05 Jan

Noisy neighbors and dehydration = wbtb

I drift in and out of sleep. There's a short non-ld where I observe and discuss a huge dog, two other large dogs and their owners. We take pictures.

DILD: This one started right after the non-ld as separate dream. I was looking forward to an ld after the neighbor induced wbtb.

I begin to feel the surroundings and hear a gentle tune as if coming from a toy or a music box. I am aware. This time things happen much slower and I notice that indeed, it was dark around me and then suddenly I open my eyes and see. The room is bright and vivid and dream-like liquid. This is supposed to be our kitchen. I'm happy I noticed the opening of the eyes. In this official dream entry/realization moment the melody makes a concluding sound, it then starts again. I find one of those kid toys that produce similar effects and make it play. I still hear the gentle tune plus there is a second layer of slower modern music (like a techno beat) in the background. I enjoy this for a while, having the feeling that I left the tablet on and the music is seeping in the dream.

For my disappointment, I ascertain that there is no one here and I wanted to do the resolution task again. I approach the window and see that the neighbor's place is just below, there is a bed and his entire room is accessible. Without hesitating, I get down and end up in his bed, but then have second thoughts. Things look kind of real, what if this is rl and I am trespassing? I decide to do a nose plug, it fails, but I notice the feeling is somewhat different from rl. I'm kind of annoyed and can't remember any other RCs to confirm. Finally, I conclude that I probably wouldn't be that crazy to do this normally and resume my activities.

My hope was to find the neighbor in his room, but there's no one there so I go around. It's a huge apartment complex in an unknown place. I pass by the windows of a closed store, some really nice sweaters inside and I almost lose lucidity thinking about the brand and design. I continue on my way to see another store, also closed. It's dark on the streets, like the city in early morning with no people in sight, apart for a guy that goes in the direction where I came from. I think he is another neighbor and then the realization hits me that I can ask him. I go back and follow him to his place. He soon comes down being a completely different DC (tribal dots on his face) with two other DCs accompanying him. He claims they are neighbors. I also introduce myself as a his neighbor and ask him about his NY resolutions. He replies he doesn't have time now, because he just met the other neighbors and it's one per weekend thing.

I insist on getting my answer, "don't worry I am not going to bother you, just tell me what your New Year's resolution is". He starts talking but I can't catch the words, the sound is muffled. He mentions something about a woman and then after repeated questioning from my side finally replies "I want to be someone they always remember, always want to know". Oh, that is beautiful, I exclaim and repeat his sentence a few more times to commit to memory. Two other DCs come in. I try to remember my other tasks but before I do, the dream fades.

Date:03 Jan

Wbtb: around 50 caffeine (latte), way too wakeful again

WILD: I finally feel as if I am not in bed anymore but somewhere else, so allow myself to look around (don't remember opening the eyes?). Yes, I am in an unknown room that has a slight resemblance to grandma's place.

At this point I recall 3 tasks and notice that there isn't a single DC here. The dream feels unstable and I recall that we talked how 501 would examine his hands in detail to anchor himself in the dream and decide to do so. I have a good look at my hands, which look quite realistic and similar to my real ones and move on to my arm where I concentrate on the fine hairs. I also remember to do the old classic stabilization where I lick my arm but with little effect. I still feel the dream slipping away and nervously walk around, thinking maybe I would try this opposite task I had in mind, but I begin to lose vision. The lower part of my vision becomes a blur and I begin to feel weightless, so conclude now isn't a good time for that particular task.

My vision gets somewhat better. I turn around and see a window, a good opportunity to get out of here. There is distinct coldness emanating from outside and I am sure it will help me freshen up and condense me back to normal. Before going out, I briefly wonder whether to bring a blanket or something, since the air is chilly. I open the window and push myself outside. In the meantime, a girl passes by carrying a blanket that she drops nearby. I ask her about her NY resolution but can't hear what she replies. The dream collapses.

DEILD: I very briefly touch on my body and concentrate on dreaming again. There's a confusing mid point dreamlet where I remain in darkness and can hear women talking around me, I keep still, waiting for the dream.

I feel a scene change, but decide I will wait a bit longer to allow the dream to fully form and maybe it will be more stable. I finally conclude it is ok to move and begin exploring. I am in my old room and can see that the voices from the previous part belong to a number of women. They are sitting on couches around a table with food and drinks as if there's some sort of party going on. A friend from school is also there.

I remember the NY resolution task and make an announcement that I would like to hear what their resolutions are. My friend says "I want some juice" and points at the table. A bit unsatisfied with the answer I move on to the next woman who looks in her forties and repeat the same question. She just stares at me with her mouth open. I wait a bit but not a single word comes out. There's another woman sitting next to her and I address her "what about your beautiful friend sitting next to you?", I feel as if I am moderating some sort of show. She says something about a friendship club in New York. I try to memorize as much as possible. The dream soon ends.

I make a quick review in mind and wonder if I should try to go back for more but really need to visit the restroom.

I also remember a fragment that I can't allocate, where I was looking at a blue/grayish backpack with something written on it by CL.

Date: 25 Dec

Wbtb: sleepy so only 5-10min with 35-40 mg caffeine (Red Bull)

Dream quality: vivid, shifty items, recall evading

The ld part is preceded by a short non-ld FA fragment I barely recall.

LD Frag: In the next scene, I am walking down the street lucid. There was something going on here, not sure what. I decide I want to have some fun (part habit part task) climbing up a building. The dream is already very shifty. I go up climbing this building where I easily place my hands even though the distance between the frames of each window fitting my left and right hand separately is out of day life proportion. I keep on climbing but when I reach the end of the building, last floor, another one appears, I climb it, this repeats two more times, then I think about the roof and finally reach it. Some thoughts about having to draw the wall of china, looking for a place to do it. Evading recall at this point but I want to go down and the whole thing happens quite quickly. I descend but at the same time am still holding on to the building with one hand. As I almost reach the ground I stop and look to see what's going on - my hand has stretched all the way down to where I am. I have some more thoughts about this and as far as I can remember the dream soon ends.

Not sure if I touched on my body to deild or chained in dream. Don't remember.

LD: In an office building now, want to cross over to next building, very distracted as something is going on in the building, announcement to all employees which are going somewhere. Between the two buildings are a few red wires and I am confident that I will be able to walk on them. As I try to adjust them for an easier use, they change so that there are two additional wires I could eventually hold on to with my hands.

Not sure if I cross the entire distance or just a part of it, memory is hazy, in the next moment I also do some vertical climbing. This time I have the realization that there are invisible horizontal lines that have been helping me with my climbings all along, therefore it should be easy to climb even on empty space. I touch the air above me, trying to feel an edge or something to hold on to. Initially there's nothing, then I hold on to something, although I also summon some sort of intangible wall/building part as well. I climb a bit upwards in the air.

I finally recall the snowman task. It's dark and there is already some snow on the street but it's not enough. I scan the area, looking for a place with more snow. Initially see these kids that are playing with the snow, in the process of building a snowman. I have a mix of real and false memories, where I remember that this is how Steph completed the TOTM, she built the snowman together with some kids. I don't want the task execution to be exactly the same, therefore I go to another place.

Here there's also lots of snow on the ground, cars and there are two snowmen in progress. I'm also thinking about journalling at this point and whether it is ok to use the half-ready snowmen. I decide to add the finishing touches on one of them and decorate the head. Conveniently, there are a number of items right next to the snowmen, so I just pick up the carrot nose and also put a woolen blue hat on it. I get some sort of dream memory from the hat and remark that the snowman looks very much like D (a schoolmate, who also makes lots of appearances in my dreams, come to think about it he does wear a blue hat). Two other classmates are now here and we are discussing this, while I am also thinking about how to journal this dream.

Without much effort and while I am not looking at him, the snowman turns into the real D and looks kind of pissed off. We irritate him more by making laughing noises behind his back. Can't recall the conversations. Another classmate appears, D is now friendlier I address them both to help me draw the wall of China. Me and the other classmate turn to look at what's across the street where I want to make the wall of China appear. He tells me he doesn't quite know how to draw it but will try.

With no further involvement (apart from comments I can't recall) from his side, I find a spot in the distance and make a few predetermined moves with my hand. Immediately, I get a sort of a large long rocky structure, obviously not what I want. I look away, say something to my classmate then try again in another place. This time the result is better, it is a close match to the Great Wall, although its existence is uncertain/shifty. Some thought processes going on again, do not draw it again or you will change it, do not lose it out of sight, now I need to get there. It shortly disappears, after couple more thoughts and looking appears again. Now it is on a much more convenient place.

We are are at the bottom of an overcrowded with items hill and the wall of China, which has a middle age touch to it, slightly lighter stone color, is stretching from the bottom of the hill to the very top. I enter and get on top of the structure, which is made of small steps in the middle. Some task confusion, I take a couple of steps to make it count (even though this wasn't part of the task). Then remember what I was supposed to do - vandalize.

I look around, the two walls to the side are made of lots of lined statues and I take a heavy metal statue and use it to start breaking the rest. Then I come across a miniature with one of the Sumerian gods/guardians wondering what's that doing here. I don't want to break it. In the meantime, next to the wall the surroundings have changed and I am now in some sort of open air Asian temple, where they honor the ancestors. There is also a creepy dark female deity statue near the part with the wall of China. I feel bad for recking havoc in this place. It surely is enough for the task. What was next - apologize? (I truly think this is part of the task). No, I have to fight the authorities. But then, let's apologize anyways, I do so. Ok, now I have to find some Chinese to fight, I try to summon them, but the dream thins out and I wake up.

Date: 06 Dec

Was supposed to do a wbtb, but felt really sleepy, so I just kept nervously waking up and falling asleep again. Was more deeply asleep than usual, had a pretty cool dream and a mini-ld at the end.

Dream: In some city of the future, there are business people walking on the street. I am in some sort of transportation, with tables in the middle. The guide is talking about us opening the fancy books on the table, but I don't have one. The guy (to be JL) in front of me gives me his book.

My attention is then drawn by the resting yogi platforms on the street. Initially a few, then many (DS), looking extremely interesting, like two rows of beige hammocks, each hammock cell uniquely decorated with some tribal art. These seem to continue down the street like forever (DS) and an old sadhu is horizontally resting on each one. I notice I am making sounds with my mouth as if playing a didgeridoo. Amongst the individual cells for the yogis are a few reporters from National Geographic. As I think about these reporters, the face of one of them turns into a human tiger face.

We are still in the transportation and the guide explains about some sort of formation, that I think I noticed is in the sand between each cell? It's like a barely visible vortex in the sand, but when he explains about the formation, I begin to see as if looking on a screen, a computer model graphics of a donut shape. He explains that this formation is the result of the wind and some electromagnetic particles which when falling get to form this shape over time, due to magnetic influences.

There are different types of futuristic cars flying in the air near us. They look like mini planes, but flatter, wider and made from some sort of black material.

The guy that gave me his book is now Jude Law. Near the windows are many interesting (DS) bottles of fancy cosmetics. My attention is torn between him and them, but I touch his arm and leave my hand there, waiting for reaction. He doesn't seem to mind and keeps his arm in the same position. At some point he is eating a pack of dried/transforming to fresh blueberries and offers me some, I refuse.

I begin examining the various cosmetics they have. Some sun tanning stuff and lots of colorful bottles and boxes of expensive cosmetics. I turn to Jude and say that one thing hasn't changed in the future and that is that some cosmetics are still prohibitively expensive. Then I take a purple box of face cream and read out what the benefits are supposed to be, reversing the meaning to the total opposite, my speech turning into a funny negative campaign for L'oreal. Jude is enjoying it too.

I nervously wake up, remember the totm, and go back there.

DEILD: Jude is to my right now and we are still in some sort of transportation. I briefly wonder whether to announce that this is about TOTM, but just say, "Please give me a present", or something along those lines. He looks at me surprised, especially after my long cosmetics speech, like he didn't expect me to want anything from him. I add "It can be something small", thinking it doesn't have to be expensive. He comes closer and gives me a super sexy kiss. We continue kissing for a while, while I contemplate this. The dream fades and I head for the journal.

Date: 11 Nov

Pre bed: 200mg val

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

I remember the previous dream and then from the middle/extended end of this one.

DILD: I am now on some unknown streets, it's a bright day. There is a plot going on, but I also know that I am dreaming. A girl maybe school age is my companion and this guy is waiting to meet us? in the middle of the street. I have the feeling that the dream is coming to an end, so move around quickly and try to absorb as much as possible.

I go in a small store where they sell clothes, but these clothes have special magical properties, like they can change your shape and turn you into animal. I feel the guy is waiting for me outside, so decide to ignore the magic items and go look for him. But when I do go out, the entire street has changed and he is no longer there. I am sad that I missed him. I remember trying to call him to come back but no result. I shortly contemplate whether to go back to the store. What was I supposed to do? Meet someone?

The girl from the earlier part now comes from somewhere and I finally remember that I was supposed to ask a question. At this point there is the realization that I had many chances to do so, yet always forgot to. I take it slow and ask the question - what are you thankful for, and become all ears, trying not to influence her answer. She opens her mouth and only some gibberish comes out, I can't make any word from that. I ask her again and she starts laughing maniacally. That pisses me off because I still expect to hear a normal answer. In the end she blurts out: "Are you deaf or what?". Her eyes seem quite lively but I have no explanation for this behavior.

Once again, I get the feeling that the dream is thinning out and look around wondering what to do and where to go. I remember that I wanted to go for Toty, but feel like this is the end of the journal entry where one finally figures out what to do at the moment the dream ends. I reckon the dream won't allow for any Toty completion at this point, so try to make the most of whatever dream time is left and look around. It's the like the main shopping street of a small town and for some reason, the area (I can't recall if it was) between stores or a mini street where I can see is more sun-lit, it looks extremely appealing to me and I decide to go there.

I know that I am on borrowed dream time and I try to take in whatever the dream offers. It's a small park type of pond, mostly dried out, but in one end is an indescribable large fountain with lots of jets beautifully arranged around the center. It undergoes some sort of transformation to become like the shape of a large oak tree made of ice. The texture is like a mix of slowly flowing fountain water and ice.

I look around and notice how on the surface of the dried out pond now there are scattered small pieces of ice and can see the reflection of the sunlight in each one, it's amazing. And as I scan the surroundings, I notice my special friend sitting near the other end of the pond. He is looking down, as if reading a book and I call out his name. He sees me and comes closer. Meanwhile, I notice that I am chewing a stupid gum and spit it out, but can still feel it in my mouth, ignore. In the last moments I manage to steal from this dream, we hug and try to ice-skate on the surface of the pond, towards the ice oak tree. The alarm wakes me up, recall is hard.