• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. ccxlvi. Backwards ride, Last settlement

      by , 04-04-2021 at 03:01 PM
      3rd April 2021

      Some in-line thoughts and notes.

      Dream:

      I am in a car with H. We are driving down a hilly area. I'm sitting facing the back of the car, but I'm in the copilot seat next to H who is at the driver's seat. The steering is not on the side it should be. It's sunny and I can see sharp shadows from the sunlight. H doesn't seem to b ewearing sunglasses or straining despite direct sunlight in his eyes.

      Behind us, or in front of me, I see a teal van coming down the same road. As they get close I see through our windows it's an old man and his young daughter. They are somewhat playfully fighting over the wheel but it concerns me. It's not somethign to fool around with, I feel. And I fear they may collide with us as they are going past us.

      There's a transition but I don't become aware of it in the dream. I am now walking towards a table which seems to be part of an esplanade on a plaza. It's in a tight spot between two buildings with white painted render.

      H is sitting down at the table and I take the seat directly in front of him. Adjoining our table is another table. Sat to my right, is the girl from before. I try to tell her something about some dangers? And then, before I talk about the whole steering thing, H tells me not to bother and I realise at this point that I have no memory of the last few minutes.

      I think I ask about what happened but don't get a clear answer and now the father is also coming back and sitting in front of his daughter at the table. We each have a meal, but oddly enough I don't pay any attention to mine.

      Before all this. Me and H are in a town. It's dark and night time. Can't see too well except for some faint light at the edge of street light fall-off, away from where we are. We are going back to the car but H can't remember where it is exactly, but I did know exactly where it was. The car was like dad's car?

      Before that, not sure what the place is anymore. Looking through a cabinet of some sort. There are drawing pads and other things. Me and H talk, they apparently belong to a childhood friend of his, called Tania. I ask what kind of things she drew? He tells me that when they played in the garden she would pretend to have superpowers she'd imagined/come up with and she drew some furry characters, in answer to my question. I vaguely recall seeing one or two drawings, focusing on faces and muzzles.

      Fragment:

      Before the other dream, before the first morning awakening. Something in a town, medieval-like but also old home like? There's a WoW feel. My old best friend, D is present in the dream somehow and we talk or something. There's something about T3 gear and tanking. I can't remember anything else but even writing about this made me feel nostalgic for some reason, not just for the game but for this friend too.

      4th April 2021

      Scraps and fragment:

      Dream recall mostly faded and no notes taken. I remember at the end of one dream, I realised faintly that I was dreaming and so it was time to wake up or something. There was a hazard situation? But I'm not sure in what context now.

      I had a very long dream sequence. In the dream I am in a dark land. I think it was brighter before, but it was night time and I am in some countryside area. In the distance I see burning towns and things like that. The path I am walking along is patrolled by demons accompanied by a dog-like creature on a chain lead. I am able to use some sort of invisibility ability, every twelve seconds or so. It lasts just long enough that I can hide in a corner and when they go past me, I use the ability to make sure they can't see me. I feel like there's some kind of spotlight on the three of us.

      The dog senses me on some level but they leave and my invisibility fades and I move along. There are other patrols and so instead of continuing down this road going downhill I instead take an uphill fork in the road, which is narrower and seemingly goes unpatrolled. I don't feel any negative emotions, but I suppose I just feel neutral about everything.

      Transition? I am at a town of some sort. It's seemingly the last surviving settlement in this area. At some point I see the settlement from an RTS-like point of view. There are many sub-cultures in this town, who are seemingly self-segregating in cultural terms. But I also remember going into shops and talking to people. Life seems normal and there is a modern feel to most things. There were many little plots involving interaction with others in this dream but I don't recall any in enough to detail to remember any of them fully.
    2. ccxli. Giving a boy a ride, Tank-driving and deity avatar fighting

      by , 03-23-2021 at 03:00 AM
      21st March 2021

      Dream:

      At a dining table? Not sure if it's even in a room exactly, but there's a feel of the dining room at my old home. Mom and T are playing some strange eastern game or something involving objects they throw over to each other. The table is long like a festive dining table? Something about decorating it.

      The trim of the table has been painstakingly put together from dozens or hundreds of strips of decorative paper or something. Another bit uses some kind of holographic projection. I wonder or ask why it simply wasn't all done with the projection method.

      (recall gap)

      Some bit in a town. Looks like my native country, streets very similar to that of towns near where I used to live. I'm coming up a hilly bit on foot. There's someone I'm supposed to meet and pick up but I have to tell him I won't be able to. I see him by some kind of public transport stop.

      He's a black teen, with short hair. I ask him if he's waiting for one of us, from my family. He confirms that he is. I then explain that I won't be able to take him because I don't have a car right now. Dad or L is using it?

      He doesn't seem to be disappointed and explains that he got a vehicle of his own and will be able to use that; it's some kind of trike?

      I ask him to be careful, I think I'll feel responsible if he has an accident.




      22nd March 2021

      Dream:

      I'm in a tank, at first in some kind of RTS-like view mode, but soon after moving around this scenario for a bit it changes to a regular (closer) third-person view.

      I find some targets along the way and destroy them, as I'm headed somewhere. An enemy base of some kind? The enemy units seem frightened and try to keep as much distance as possible and avoid me. I fire the main cannon but also use the secondary gun to destroy enemy targets.

      I remember feeling myself use a keyboard and maybe seeing it too (old yellowed keyboard?) to control cannon pitch and yaw. I also have a secondary type of ammo for the cannon, some miniature warheads, which I use a few times?

      Eventually, after all the ground targets are down, I head towards a square-ish hole in the ground. I switch to a first person view now, in which I can see the cannon sticking out. I "crawl" down into the hole slowly, not wanting to fall down as there is a drop and a boss down below. Some kind of giant, an avatar of some deity I think.

      I try firing one of the warheads into the room below since I don't actually have direct line of sight to the boss but it doesn't seem to affect it, as a health bar for the boss an a UI remains unchanged.

      Hesitant, I eventually go down. I engage this avatar in combat using my main cannon and trying to keep my distance from its swiping. The avatar has a muscled and male form, it's colouration is dark, maybe a black tone like basalt.

      He talks to me as he fights, but I cannot recall what about. I don't do much damage and the boss kills me eventually. I respawn in a chamber adjacent to the boss room. The whole place has an ancient classical look to it. Although this passes me by in the dream, it actually reminds me of Act2 levels from Daikatana.

      The boss room itself had a very similar look. It is octagonal and with a few (sort of) central pillars. There's a shallow level of water and it looks clear. This water is also present in the other large room I was respawned in.

      After a tiny bit of exploring? I try to get the boss to come out of his room since there's actually more room to fight him in this one. It doesn't work though, he's apparently "leashed" and eventually I just go back in the main boss room again.

      I can't recall the rest but the dream went on for quite a while.


      Notes:
      - I don't know why but I feel compelled to register a sudden observation. Lately in dreams I feel there has been some absence of emotion.

      - The deity's avatar was probably based off some recent boss fights in some games.

      - Although it's unusual that I had some awareness of the keyboard in a way that made me step out of "tunnel vision", for the most part in that dream I was just immersed into its reality in the same way that I am when playing a game in waking reality.
    3. ccxl. Black cat, Expanded cafe

      by , 03-23-2021 at 02:42 AM
      17th March 2021

      (didn't capture recall before it faded)

      Fragment:

      I am driving; I'm in the middle of a fast changing situation?

      I made a game of some kind and I'm playing through it. Maybe it's like Doom in gameplay but some part of it makes me think of AvP.



      18th March 2021


      Fragment:


      Black cat, rubbing it under where the rib cage started as it seemed to be where it enjoyed it most. Unusually, this unnerved me a bit for some reason. H is sitting next to me and giving the cat attention too. The cat resembled Y. (in-lne note, it's possible it unnerved me because a dream character is effectively a part of me, and I don't particularly like being touched under or on the sternum but I wouldn't have much of a problem with doing this with a pet if it's what it wanted)

      Fragment:


      At my old home's town. Driving down through the avenue that is by the church. I'm a passenger. The driving and such are all on the correct side.

      I see the cafe that's to my left, the one that has the office supplies shop. It's front end is being expanded, like they're adding on to the in-door esplanade space. In the dream I assume this has something to do with Covid and social distancing.
    4. cciii. Amputated leg; Driving, social contact, journeys

      by , 12-30-2020 at 01:05 PM
      Long dreams but poor recall again. Dream vividness/in-dream detail has been fairly high.

      29th December 2020


      Fragment:


      Was getting out of a house, getting ready to go somewhere. I climb some roof or something like and for some reason I get something really bad in my left leg, it's very painful. My leg gets amputated below the knee.

      Then I'm in a classroom? I walk around, dealing with phantom limb sensations. I tell some therapist I'll try the mirror box theory later when I get a chance, to try and teach my leg/brain that things are different now. I see B from school and talk to him about some drawings he'd made.

      The phantom limb can somehow still hold or move a sandal at the end of where my foot would actually be. I can see the old missing bit of my leg, as if it was phasing in and out.

      30th December 2020


      Dream, fragmented:

      Driving on a motorway/highway. J and my siblings talking to me in a street? I'm in a city of some kind, it's day time. It seems quiet but not overly so, just like not a lot of people actually live here or lead peaceful lives. J was comforting me in some kind of parental way, but I don't remember about what.

      At some point my view changes and it becomes top-down. Things look a bit like Factorio. I launch a nuke ICBM from a silo and after going up out of sight it comes back down only a few structures away from the silo. The silo is OK after this but most of the rest in the area gets destroyed; robots quickly start replacing most of it and I try to manually place some alternate structures.

      (transition gap)

      At a castle, there with mom and T. We take a walk around the outer area of the castle, close to the walls. At some point I climb up some tower. It's really high up and I can see the sky and the sun, as well as distant mountains. Sunset.

      Later in the same area, something about a couple of roofers. I take away a couple of carrier bags and T helps me. I ask if they have some drinks because I'm taking the cola away with me. I accidentally lose grip and drop the carrier bag with it down a flight of worn stone stairs. I don't worry and let out an "oops". T gets slightly upset, or annoyed.

      Then at ground level in an inner courtyard area. I look around and see limestone? yellow-ish stone, into which there are relief carvings and sculptures. I feel compelled to clean these carefully, they're covered in moss and general dirt.

      (transition gap)

      Then I'm on a bus with aunt B and mom. B is telling a story about ravines in Germany and how they are very popular attractions. The bus driver is sort of at the middle/back of the bus. It has a weird layout but looks standard otherwise. I think the driver struggles with seeing where he's going and it feels like there's a lot of traffic around us. It's an overcast day but I remember we go through a tunnel at some point. I remember seeing the ravines my aunt was on about, but partly in my mind, but as vividly as if real?

      (then, many fragments)

      Views of animated scenes with M/M themes. I think something to myself, a kind of feeling of envy (about the authors?) but the specifics are lost. I look up images of Zor'Drak for some reason. The same themes again, explicit in some cases. One picture is of him with an open maw and a tiny creature on his tongue, pleasuring itself; they both seem to be enjoying the activity. There's a light and warm glow coming from deeper inside the mouth. The description mentions "Ezekiel" and it seems this has something to do with the smaller character.
    5. clxxv. Erotic comic, Item of value, Family interruptions, Learning about driving

      by , 10-04-2020 at 07:29 PM
      4th October 2020

      8:45?

      Fragment:

      In one part of this dream I had gone to a computer like mine (but was it mine?) and in the dream's context I'd previously downloaded a comic of sorts, about a giant elf lady who allowed herself to be pleasured by an also rather large but sentient spider (i.e. of the same level of intelligence). The comic was incredibly detailed but it wasn't tending towards hyper-realism or anything; initially I was very apprehensive as I thought my arachnophobia might come back (because of the spider's details) but I ended up liking the comic and the high level of detail. The backgrounds seemed simple or mostly abstract, colour gradients?

      The comic apparently had 68 pages, but each page was effectively a single comic tile/strip and many of them only showed small or incremental changes from the previously shown scenes. The spider was a night blue or black colour? Orb weaver type.

      Before this, T and I had been talking? But after looking at the comic for a while, I became aware of T's presence by my left side at this desk I was apparently sat at. I felt embarrassed and didn't like the idea that he'd basically been watching me look at this comic, when I thought I was alone. But he made no comment about it and I didn't bring it up myself.

      I remember a beautiful pine forest before all of this. Distant and snowy mountains and a river close by. Think I was walking by its sandy bank. There was some surreal element to the area, like the area was an unnatural overhanging cliff? But I think the forest was part of what prompted the comic segment.

      Fragment:


      I was some woman for a short bit or playing a game as this woman? But things looked realistic and I remember no HUD. I was in a third-person mode and there was something about setting a record and using motorcycles to do so. A giant plasma orb and some controller for it. I remember going up a ramp in a city area. There was a very wide river? Reminds me of some cities in the USA.

      At the end of this dream segment I had taken something which was really important. Some sinister and some natural higher powers all wanted whatever this was. I remember someone mentioning Aether beings like those of Minecraft:Aether. They also said something about those beings supposedly being more deserving of this thing I'd taken. There was a feel of being like Frodo or Bilbo, having something as highly sought after as the one ring.

      10-11:00?


      Fragment:


      In an altered version of my old home. I was trying to get to my computer in my bedroom. Emphasis on trying because interruptions kept happening. I felt some kind of compelling to look at that comic again. But this time I couldn't even get to the computer, T kept trying to talk to me or something. Then I lost him somehow and got in my room. I was about to shut the door but saw mom away in the distance; the house felt bigger and more... diagonal. But I hesitated; I tried turning on the light for my room but it wasn't working. I don't think it was night time, but it was dark in there.

      For some reason the hall's light was stopping my room's light from working, as I found that if that one went off, my room's light would work. But then T appeared again.

      (recall gap)

      Then, out in the night in my old town. There seems to be less street lighting than I'd expect. I'm at a car park near our home and walking towards a car, but can't recall the look of it. Something about getting in and then mom was there, wanting to teach me to drive.

      I get in the driver seat? But it's on the "wrong" side. Then dad turns up as I'm about to get going/started and I somehow am at the back of the car now, with dad having taken over. Then some third-person view sort of top-down, chasing the car while some kind of crazy manoeuvring is happening and the car is avoiding other cars using the road normally.

      Fragment:

      In the sky, kind of? Maybe this was in sequence of the old bedroom part, but I remember there are some very thin but incredibly solid platforms, nothing sways and I don't notice the absence of wind. I just remember seeing sky and clouds, even when looking downwards. It was sunny and I walked down some steps, at a quick pace? I had some sort of objective or goal.

      Fragment:

      In a back garden. A house that's mine and H's? There was a messy grassy garden, unkept. The grass looks yellowed or dry in parts and there are many tufts. There's a hole in the ground and on some level I remember that it could be a wasp nest like H had recently told me about and indeed some wasps do come out of the hole, but I run past and over the hole. Vague recall of the grass/ground being soft, like it's ankle deep.

      Fragment:

      Either H or T, stroking a cat (using the foot). I'm more at ground level, like the cat. Can't recall if it's black or white, but think white. But the cat gets up a little and hisses at him, but doesn't seem to care about me.



      Notes:

      - I don't remember looking through all the pages of the comic, but do remember seeing about 20 different strips, albeit many were only of small alterations conveying motion. I have some vague recall of text but I don't remember any text bubbles or anything.

      - Although I watched LOTR a long time ago, I did watch the Hobbit recently.
      -- The theme of a valuable object being sought-after by powerful entities has recently occurred in another dream.

      - Although mom did use to drive, by the time I was around she didn't drive anymore because of some experiences she had.
      -- Mom was a teacher for a lot of her life, so it seems somewhat fitting that she would try teaching me even if she hadn't driven at all, even once, since I've lived.

      - There were a lot of themes both about my family and about my old home in these dreams.
      -- I had a slight introspection not too much later after waking, about this. The interaction between my "self" and the voice from my last lucid has made me wonder about the metaphorical meanings, as I have always had issues with family interrupting things or generally being nosey about things I'd rather they weren't nosey about, but this is only compounded worse by the fact that I wasn't able to have "space to myself" in a sense, when I was much younger, many of my dreams during my youth seemingly often having an aspect of wanting to be separate from my family, at times; at least to be able to explore certain things by myself.
      -- The interruptions by T were something of a recurring theme during waking life, especially in regards to not talking about something that I may have felt was awkward or sordid. But in our childhoods we were very close.
    6. cxviii.

      by , 07-20-2020 at 10:19 AM
      8th May

      Dream:

      I was in the car with H. H was driving very fast and race-like, even though we weren't in a rush to get anywhere. Pretty close one between a double length bus and a car. I remember the tyres screeching a lot all the way and I asked H why. He said it was because they brand new Michelin tyres.

      It was like my native country and town. Eventually we arrived at a place, ground floor of a building, in front of it was like a petrol station. The place we walked into was like a school, for kids between the ages of eight and ten. H and I had been here earlier in the dream to drop off a keyboard temporarily. Now, we were here to pick it up again. I think the kids were actually teens in the earlier part of the dream. One of the kids now, was asking why we had to take the keyboard away again and H explained it had only been meant as a temporary thing anyway. H asked if anyone had played the keyboard. Some kids said they hadn't, somehow clearly afraid of being reprimanded, even though it was unlikely, but they also said they had practised at home like H had taught and demonstrated.

      I didn't speak much at all, H talked to the kids a lot. Somehow reminded me of my geometry teacher, trying to actively get the kids to think and take interest in things. Eventually, a lady walked in, the teacher who runs the place. She was happy to see the kids entertained and it was as if we'd known her and vice versa for years. I remember noticing I had my black leather jacket and my regular boots on. I think in the dream we both became distracted from our objective of getting the keyboard. There was also a set of keys we'd left in the earlier visit, but we weren't being able to find them. The layout was different from the earlier visit.

      Scraps:

      Grandma from mom's side, dad and I, talking. I remember she was holding a golden cross that she wore around her neck. I made mental note of the size of the cross, almost too big to be held by one hand alone.



      Notes:
      - I don't believe H has actually ever bought Michelin-branded tyres.
    7. cv.

      by , 03-25-2020 at 12:17 PM
      Some non-lucid stuff that I can remember from this morning. Only made note of the first dream in my initial morning notes.




      Dream:


      I was with dad, I think at a mall. It was like the one close to home but it was different somehow, though I had the same sense of familiarity. We were walking through the large and bright halls and as we turned around a corner we stopped, because I spotted this shop that sold ice cream and other stuff, like some pastries typical of my country and cotton candy. I wanted some of these deep fried things they had, even though I didn't feel all that hungry. I think it was just because it's been so long I had any. Not sure what dad wanted, but ice cream I think.

      We approached the counter and two other people were being served. There were two guys behind the counter too, so I thought one of them was available and I pointed at something and asked about it. Before there was any reply, dad said "let the other people get served first" but for some reason, in the dream's context I had the ability to snap my fingers to toggle how busy the dream location was. Doing this had a completely intuitive feel. I did snap my right hand's fingers and the people being served simply disappeared, as did many other people walking by around us.

      Now I asked about the food thing again. He explained they were long deep fried "waffles". Some were flavoured banana, strawberry or vanilla, with the possibility of a crusty looking chocolate topping, although I think it was more like icing.

      I asked for one of the vanilla waffle things. While I was being handed my waffle and then tasting it, I think dad was getting something for himself. The taste was somewhat overly sweet, and bland at the same time (dream characteristic which didn't phase me), but it didn't taste of vanilla very much at all. My problem with the taste however, was the texture, as I was expecting something nice and crunchy, but it was completely soft. I felt disappointed and the few bites I took made me feel full really quickly anyway. I don't remember what I did with it and I don't remember either of us paying.

      Then we continued walking through the mall, but into a different section which wasn't as open or light. In fact it felt pretty dark despite there being lights on. We walked into a supermarket inside the mall and I remember wandering around looking for something, but I don't remember what anymore. Eventually, empty-handed I went to the checkout area. I'm not sure it was dad that was with me anymore at this point.

      But at the checkout there was a couple, they were buying a desktop computer oddly enough and they wanted help from an attendant because the computer "weighs 24kg and we can't carry it", I thought to myself that despite my weakness, this couple was just being pathetic or lazy. I did think about the effort of carrying it all the way to their car in the parking sub-levels, but I also thought it wasn't really fair to ask the attendant to do that.

      Then the man from the couple started being weird, handling the computer case with relative ease he swung it around and it hit the checkout counter, on which I was sat. For some reason I was just sat there and observing. As he did hit the counter with the case, the attendant didn't even flinch like she hadn't noticed. He did it again a few times, harder this time. Now the case was visibly damaged and warped. At first the damage seemed passable, but for whatever reason I was able to look inside; I quickly told them that the circuit boards were cracked because of the metal plates pushing in and that it was no good now. The man started being upset and demanding compensation or something. Again I didn't think this was fair and either I said or thought "you break it, you buy it". The attendant seemed to be handling it though, but it made me feel no respect for this man.

      There was a transition then. I don't remember where I was now, but I had some kind of interface. I could select worlds or something?

      Then I remember a cutscene of some kind, it was in space. I could see several planets in a star system, and before it happened I knew the star was about to explode, and it did, in a green supernova, the planets burning away in a green flame of sorts. Strangely enough in the dream it was like I already knew about this cutscene (but it's the first time I've seen/dreamt it) so I was using some camera control tools or something to see the scene from different angles than it would normally play through.

      I don't remember much else from this dream other than some vague memories of night sky and stars.

      Dream Fragment:


      At my old home, in my old room. I think what brought this dream on was some thoughts I had before bed about how my old room's balcony has never felt safe, and how I always fear mom may slip some day, or that I may somehow feel compelled to jump out of it (in madness or some other irrational state).

      It was a sort of night time, a twilight of some kind. I walked into the room a bit further and saw my sibling T in the balcony. He had a top on but was otherwise naked, this was odd and bothered me on some level but I ignored it and we talked about something. From the balcony, below, I could see my other sibling was arriving with S in a white smart car. Then the doorbell rang and I walked out of the room and went to answer it, I already knew it was going to be L and S but I still picked up the intercomm set and asked who it was. I felt like I was being like dad for doing this (even though I don't remember dad ever doing this type of thing). L replied at first and I asked "who?" because I couldn't understand, then S spoke and her voice made it clear who they were and I pressed the button to open the building door.

      Dream Fragment:

      Driving, or being driven? With H. Not sure what car, but the landscape and town was a mix of my native home areas and some other places. I enjoyed the view of the nearby mountains in the dream. I remember we went over a bridge or two and there were two towns next to each other. It was day time, but sort of dark despite everything looking bright? Like I was seeing everything through heavily tinted glass, but I don't think the car's glass was tinted at all.



      Notes:
      - Last night as I had the thoughts about my old room and the balcony, I did think that it might cause me to have a dream about it. It's a shame I didn't take the opportunity to think about becoming lucid should it happen, as there were plenty of cues in that dream that could have resulted in some state of lucidity, but didn't. Keeping intention of noticing dream signs seems particularly poor for me, but I really think my sleep quality doesn't help.
      - The thing with the dream-controlling finger snapping is typical of something my dad does in his non-lucid dreams too, so either that knowledge has created some kind of bias on me, or it's a trait that can be developed because of our personalities, or perhaps simply hereditary somehow. A point of note about it is that I play games a lot where "control" comes easily, so it may simply be a reflection of how there's a lot of self-agency in that type of context.
      - The pastry type thing I wanted from the shop was more like a churro or something, but the thing I was given didn't really look like one. I actually remember they had some churro looking things locked up in a clear plastic chest that was hung on a wall on the customer side of the counter. I remember feeling like asking about it but like it would be too much bother to get one.
    8. xcii.

      by , 03-01-2020 at 11:42 AM
      Two or three dreams. Initially didn't hold on to details so recall is a bit fuzzy overall.



      Dream Fragment:


      I was in dad's scenic, sat at the back. Someone else, too, maybe my sibling T? Mom was on the drivers seat, which was on the wrong side for the car.

      We're in the middle of some city. It feels like a familiar place but doesn't seem to be anywhere specific; it's sunny and I remember green trees. We're close to some parking spaces. Mom gets a call on her phone and has to take it so for some reason she gets out of the car.

      I step out too and with a gesture suggest that I can park the car. She gestures back a "sure, whatever", obviously concentrating on the conversation on the phone; I then get in the driver's side.

      At first I drive forward a bit and then start reversing and turning into one of these parking spaces that was free next to some other parked cars. I get it nearly right, smack in the middle on the first try but I remember feeling the pedals and that reversing felt a bit jerky, so I tried to take care. Still, I managed to let it jerk at the end of manoeuvring, making the back hit a stone wall that ran along behind the parking spaces. I could feel it was a small impact and only the plastic bumper would have touched the wall.

      Then dad appeared, walking across the front and commenting something? I sort of proudly told him about how I did or something.

      Dream Fragment:


      Some other dream. I remember being at my old home, in my former room. It's dark, the curtains are closed. I'm uncertain about what version of room layout this is in the dream. I was looking at texts on a phone, my first phone maybe? It was a red phone. I am my current age, however.

      I was checking a text from my childhood and school friend, Di. Looking back on texts before his reply, I had apparently messaged him, ages ago.

      He was now finally replying, saying he was sorry, but that he was now pan sexual or something. That didn't make much sense on its own, but I understood it to mean that he had become trans (similar sound?). Further, he said that he wouldn't be able to meet with me [ever again] because of [two letter acronym?].

      I forget the rest of the text exactly but I remember feeling disappointed somehow. I had a number of passing thoughts about potential replies I could give, or whether it would be worth bothering at all. Other passing thoughts about how I used to remember him, and about how I could mention some funny memories in a text reply.

      Dream Fragment:


      There was a third dream but even though it was the last one, I don't really remember anything except that it was a city-building sim game of some kind.


      Notes:

      - In the second dream, I remember I felt overall sad and disappointed. I was happy that my friend had moved on or something, but I suppose I've never really let go of how our relationship as friends just evaporated over a number of years, for no special reason that I was ever able to discern.
      - In the first dream, while mom did use to drive, that was years ago before I was born. My mom hasn't driven since then at the very least.
      - Mom's distraction with the phone somehow feels related to how she's been behaving lately when she speaks to me on the phone; it's not that she's distracted from me, it's more that she's distracting herself. Some element of worry present here.
      - I and H have been playing a city-building game quite a bit lately, which is probably what the third dream was based on.
    9. lxviii.

      by , 01-16-2020 at 01:52 PM
      I've been having a somewhat better dream recall average than I normally would, but haven't been taking note of dreams enough and my last DJ here was ages ago now. This is a particularly memorable dream fragment from this week.



      Dream Fragment:


      First half is missing.

      Was in my home city, or some altered version of it. It was day time and I was heading home on foot; there was a fluid transition to my arrival home but I've forgotten the detail of it, and when I got there it was dark at that point. My dad was in his car and approached me and told me to get in the car so we could go somewhere (for a meal or something?) - I was a bit reluctant, I was feeling in pain and really tired; mom was sat at the back with one of my brothers (T) and one of my cousins (R) was sat at the front, so I sat next to mom.

      Dad started driving and very shortly after, we were going through some surreal highway that I've seen in some other dream fairly recently; surrounded by cliffs and 10-story buildings on top of the cliffs. It then turned into a rock and dirt road and there were dark abysses either side of the road, with more cliffs in the distance. I was a bit apprehensive too, but mom was starting to get quite worried and told dad, in the same way as I ever expect.

      He reassured her with a smile, saying: "It's fine, I've driven on these roads loads of times!". Very shortly after he said that, we went over a bump in the road, but there was nothing on the other side. The car fell straight into one of those abysses, none of us seemingly very concerned by this, plunging into water at the bottom.

      At first we didn't try to get out; I remember thinking "Well it doesn't really matter" but eventually we all got out and swam up. When we got to the surface of the water, some sort of root-like things descended toward us and took us to a sort of rocky area under a much bigger floating mass of rock.

      At the centre of this area there was some sort of little shop. I remember going in and seeing all these small 4:3 CRT TV screens, each one no bigger than my head, sat on shelves, almost perfectly spaced apart. Each one of the screens had a landscape view in it, like a live feed, but not much was going on in any of them. It was a colourful shelf to look at.

      As I walked along this narrow path between these big metal shelves with the TVs, something caught my attention on top of one shelf. A moonstone, but not as bright and vivid or even opalescent like one I actually have in reality. The gem was pale and sort of a sepia or cream colour but it was still slightly translucent as expected. What was odd about it was that it was encrusted with some sort of gold filigree and small golden spheres.

      Start to remember less detail at this point. I remember dad went off his own way and so did my sibling and cousin. Mom stayed with me and we went outside, where it was still dark, although the direct area around wherever we went was always seemingly lit. More like the darkness was a fog made of black.

      I remember seeing some bones or dead plants and noticing the floor was particularly arid. Eventually we found some building thing, which was very square. It had a brand new kitchen I think, but apart from that it was mostly just dark corridors. I don't remember anything after that point.


      A note:
      I remember that in the dream the surreal landscapes felt familiar but out of place. Although I did not get anywhere near being lucid, I've had more of these moments lately where I'll have pre-lucid thoughts or recognition of a feature from a past dream.