Nerefa

Been laying in bed for hours asleep, but fully aware as though awake.

I can’t feel my body, it’s floating weightlessly in space. There’s a soft wave of energy slowly undulating through me, like the lulling sway of a hammock, but it’s inside of me.

My mind isn’t focussed on anything in particular, but there’s a constant feeling of tension that binds me inside my own body. Technically, I can move, but reality seems frozen. Time seems frozen.

I stare ahead at the door and watch the light move between the cracks as my perceptions distort to my will. I can make them flicker or move in the direction I want. I can make sounds turn off or on.

Meager control over my perceptions brings me comfort, but still frozen, knowing that it’s not real. I can only dream of having control over reality.

I tell myself that I need to get up… Gotta move forward with time because time is moving without me.

Eventually I get up… I check the clock and note that several hours have passed.

Then indecision binds me again. I don’t know what to do. I lay back down after my muscles ache from sitting in one spot for too long.

This goes on all day. Rinse and repeat.

I dreamed that my old house was trying to kill me last night. Same old. I’m glad the new one doesn’t do that.