nightmare

abridged
I am a dark African sitting in a grass hut on a swamp somewhere on the dream plane. I have a necklaces of animal bones around my neck, and feathers coming out of my head. I have thick dreadlocks.

There are all kinds of voodoo shit hanging about.

Raven enters with MoSh, Tigress and Loaf. MoSh is half snake, but no one seems to notice. Loaf is half vampire, half werewolf. Tigress is a werewolf. Raven is Queen of Night.

"We have come to seek the guidance of the Night Shaman," says Raven.

"What is it you desiyah??"

"We desire the Great Red Ruby of Foresight atop the Mountain of Despair."

"Oh, no. You don' wan go dere! You goin' die. You all goin' die many many deaths."

"Just tell us how to get there."

"Me not know if you be deservin'. Are you strong? Are you wise ones? Are you... in unity? If not, you will die, die like a snake writhin' in th' sun! You must accomplish de task of Fiyah firs'! Outside dere is a large swamp tree, with a hollow arch. Walk t'rough de tree. You will find you in de Hell of Hells. Bring me de One Watah Drop in all of Hells, and you will prove to me dat you have de strength it gon' take. NOW GO!"

They eye me suspiciously, but turn and leave. I cast enchantments upon them of protection, energy and power to assist them in their trial.

Q appears next to me. Do you think they'll make it, Professor X?

Well, Q, it's my Danger Room. I can turn it off if they lose lucidity or get lost in pain. I am going to give you an AI orb with a portion of my power. This orb will guide you in my will, and stay with you when I am awake.

I summon a small silver orb, and put a piece of my sentience into it. I hand it to Q. Q10 appears. Q hands the orb to him.

I wake up in some remote viewer facility.

"Good job, sir. You have successfully joined the Dream Corps of the CIA Remote Viewing Project, Dreamgate."

"NO YOU BASTARDS! LET ME OUT OF HERE!"

Code BLUE CODE BLUE WE HAVE A LIVE ONE!

I run out of the room. I am in a huge underground base in a mountain. I run down a catwalk. I don't know where I am going. I have to get the fuck out of there. I feel needle in my back. I collapse to the floor.

I wake up strapped to a table in an operating room.

"You have already betrayed your friends. Oh, yes, you fool. You signed on the dotted line when you slept, you idiot. Don't remember, do you? Too bad your recall sucks."

'NO YOU'RE A LYING FUCK."

THey show me a video of me signing a document in blood in an interrogation room.

"That's not me, you asshole, that's some CGI actor or something."

SILENCE. And now, we torture you for your insolence. Release the straps.

I try to get up. I can't move.

You have been given a paralyzing anesthetic. You can't move for the next forty-five minutes. Yet, you will feel all the pain and torment as we slice you open, and examine what makes you tick.

I see in the reflection of the crazy doctor's eye, a jaguar face. I am confused.

They slice me open, and I scream. I feel no pain. They remove my guts, and play catch with my liver. I realize it must be a dream. I feel a dark fire burning inside me.

I roar, and stand up from the table.

CODE RED CODE RED CODE RED MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS. DREAMER IS MANIFESTING BEAST SELF.

I grab the doctor, and bite his head off, then spit it on the floor. The others back away.

WHO ELSE WANTS THEIR FUCKING DREAMS HAUNTED FOR ETERNITY?

I shoot claws at all their eyes, then fly through many floors until I get outside the mountain.

Goddamned spooks in jet packs are awaiting me.

I call out to Koomo, as the RV Templars hit me with a knock out drug. Fuck yo tranq, beeyotch! This is MY DREAM!

I begin to fall. Michael catches me. Man-bats appear out of portals, and we battle the Templars.

I soon see my friends from the first part of the dream come and join me. We kick ass.

Loaf runs through the mountain, affixing bombs to the pillars. He hands me the detonator. BOOM!

We fly back to the Moon, and rest.