Morning of December 27, 2019. Friday. Dream #: 19,366-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. As a consequence of the typical synaptic gating of sleep that results in loss of wakefulness and memory, my dream self loses current waking-life identity, my most active but fictitiously altered recall (preconscious mediation) stemming from around 1985. I seem to be about twenty-five years old instead of fifty-nine. I remember the King Street mansion, but nothing yet outside of that factor, not even parents, relatives, or current family, and nothing pertinent about my life over the past thirty years. I am in an unfamiliar mansion owned by a wealthy family. I sense their house is about two blocks west of the King Street mansion. There are the man and his wife, their dark-haired young daughter, and a male servant living here. I marvel at the setting with its beautiful curtains and antique furniture. I will be living with this family as a result of my adoption even though my dream renders me as a young adult. Several well-known sleep-wake mediation factors occur. I am sitting on the rich man’s canopy bed in the late morning (with no one else around until moments later), and notice a small shiny gold toolbox on a table to the left of the bed. It is unlocked. As well as other valuable possessions, including a diary, there are several smooth white stones with parts of pictorial maps (in color) printed on their surfaces. The man (this dream’s main preconscious personification) walks in but does not seem angry about my invasion of his privacy. He sits on the bed and mentions how rare the stones are. His daughter (this dream’s vestibular system avatar) comes in and sits on the bed. The woman comes into the room but remains standing. The girl’s black cat jumps on the bed, and the woman refers to him as “Skywalker.” Sleep-wake mediation factors: Bed: Instinctual (though a frequent liminality forerunner as here) awareness of being asleep. Toolbox: Opening the toolbox (similar to using a door to either wake or vivify and sustain a dream) signifies synaptic gating and achieving consciousness. My dreaming experience significantly vivifies at this point. The mapping stones represent finding the way back to wakefulness as the part of the mind that organizes information initiates. Gold: This color only dominates a dream as a precursor to achieving wakefulness. Cat: Liminality forerunner (a summoning factor by habit since childhood). Cats always “land on their feet” (successfully mediate the anticipated “drop” into wakefulness). The girl: Somatosensory and proprioception personifications (and the resolving of physical ambiguity as my dream self’s body is fictitious in form and orientation) are typically female (as an instinctually summoned avatar). An important factor is the girl’s cat named “Skywalker.” It stems from liminal drop anticipation and the imaginary proprioception of the dream state and is flight-related. The woman, who is the only one standing in the last scene, is an incentive for me to wake and get up, as I begin to see her as Zsuzsanna as my (upper preconscious) reticular activating system’s waking alert factor initiates.
Morning of December 19, 2019. Thursday. Dream #: 19,358-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. My dream results in reticular activating system sleep-wake mediation in a literal sense in this experience. Although I am in a bed, it is in a spacious unfamiliar business office. I am not tired or sleepy and had (in real life) gone to sleep earlier than usual. The first sleep-wake mediation personification is an unfamiliar woman, about sixty years old, sitting at a desk to my right. (The process typically begins on my right, the side more exposed to environmental sounds as I sleep.) Her desk is a few feet from my bed and facing me. Over time, I become slightly puzzled by the situation, but my dream self does not register it as illogical or intrusive. Still, I instinctually initiate wall mediation by using clothespins to put up curtains between my bed and her desk. At first, one of my curtains falls on her, and she complains. Eventually, she puts up curtains as well, and there is a space of about three feet between my curtains and hers. My waking-life identity is now more emergent (as it typically is as a result of wall mediation, which brings my dream self closer to liminality) and I realize that Zsuzsanna is sleeping in a canoe on the other side of the room to my left (as she sleeps on my left in reality, and most dreams render this factor correctly). I think I should be with her even though there may not be much space. (Despite the instinctual association with dream state reinduction with the canoe, there is no presence of water or wetness in this experience.) I go over and get into the canoe. Another canoe is upside-down over the top of the first. I enjoy being with Zsuzsanna, and although there is an increase in my perception of imaginary physicality, there is no discomfort in the restricted space. (We are in the correct orientation, though our heads are in the opposite direction as mine was at the beginning of my dream.) Later, an unfamiliar teenage boy gets into the canoe. After a short time, the secretary (still on the other side of the room), calls someone to come and get him. He is supposedly a juvenile delinquent, but I had not seen him as threatening. Zsuzsanna and I are soon standing in the room. There is a sense of peace. I watch her go to the door that opens to outside. An unknown man, only in shadow, remaining in the doorway, calls her by the wrong name (Laura), but she responds with unknown information of some kind. (Wrong names occur in my dreams to signify how the dream self is not a viable model of waking-life; obvious, as my dreams never render valid memories.) The use of a virtual door into or out of the dream state in sleep-wake mediation is common, and this is mediated by cortical arousal personification by way of preconscious simulacra and the reticular activating system. However, Zsuzsanna responding to this process rather than my dream self is intriguing.
Morning of December 10, 2019. Tuesday. Dream #: 19,349-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. My mother and I were to get off the bus in Northside La Crosse in the afternoon. There is a distraction, and we remain en route to Southside La Crosse. My mother is annoyed (though this is illogical, as she seems more aware than I am in this dream and should have been aware of an upcoming bus stop). My non-lucid dream has robbed me of my identity, which is typical. There is no recall of my mother dying in 2002 and no recall of any factor in my life since the 1980s, and yet my dream self feels perhaps 40 years old. Ultimately, this is not deliberate in a specific sense, but a result of incidental synaptic gating. However, synaptic gating works in a way to avoid a valid waking-life recall until the final gating factor with full consciousness. My non-lucid dreams are also the opposite of waking-life correlation (unless prescient or transpersonal). The trip from Northside La Crosse to Southside La Crosse would be typical in real life, as we already lived in Northside La Crosse, so my dream’s situation is ridiculous, that is, the direct opposite of the truth. My dream’s induction is all about imaginary proprioception. When I try to get off the bus from its right, even though other passengers get off (including my mother), I only see a small opening, about two-thirds the size needed. This event is the wall mediation factor (that occurs throughout every sleep cycle). It indicates that I cannot move my physical body as I sleep (and although my waking orientation is usually to the right as I sleep on my left side, there is an additional factor here, explained later). I complain to the driver that I cannot get off the bus (either move my real body or yet correlate my imaginary dream body with my dream self’s perception). Another opening appears to the left of the first, about where real bus doors would be in America. It is more like a door, but irregular, still not big enough for me to get off the bus. I become slightly more dream-cognizant and teleport to where my mother is standing, near a group of people. We are at the post office (potential for enigmatic space or liminal space communication). I start complaining about having lost my bag of books (cognitive arousal). I consider someone else might have taken them. My mother informs me that they are near where she is standing. Although I pick them up, this focus vanishes in the next scene. We have to go back to Northside La Crosse, our original destination. I decide to go in a particular direction (that is fictitious). I instinctually summon water reinduction (virtual melatonin mediation). A beautiful river is on our right as we walk along a narrow road as my dream vivifies. We reach an area where we need to go up a slope. (This feature stems from the summoning of imaginary proprioception and vestibular system correlation that occurs in all longer dreams at one point or another, though I often use a staircase.) My dreaming experience vivifies again, just on the threshold of lucidity. However, I consider my mother will not be able to ascend the slope, so my cognizance (and imaginary physicality) decreases. We somehow end up back near the La Crosse post office. A bus goes by, stopping briefly at an intersection (RAS autosymbolism of synaptic gating). This time, the doors are on the left and appear correct (big enough to get on and off the bus). I call out to my mother, “This is how buses should be.” (Why did I say this? Because with the synaptic gating event, I attain a subliminal recall that only buses in Australia look like this. However, I am still not aware of my true identity or the recall I live in Australia in real life.) In the final scene, my mother boards a bus, saying it is the one we should take (back to Northside La Crosse), though I have my doubts. When we are on the bus, all I see are male and female students (all wearing the same uniforms as in an Australian school) from about sixth to eighth grades. I am uncertain if this is where we should be. This final synaptic gating event implies increasing cognizance (students going to school). Even though the students are Australian, I am not conscious until the last process. In hot weather, achieving consciousness (from the dream state) is more sluggish, validated by neuroscience.
Morning of December 9, 2019. Monday. Dream #: 19,348-02. Reading time: 3 min 20 sec. Sleep-wake mediation begins with the typical activation of the preconscious simulacrum (reticular activating system personification) as intrusive to make my dream state less inviting and sustainable. My identity is extant to a partial degree, as I recall Zsuzsanna and our family, but our home is fictitious. The preconscious simulacrum is an unfamiliar woman who is staying with us and is supposedly Zsuzsanna’s friend. She has a young daughter and son. At one point, it is late at night, and I cannot rest or focus because she and her children are making noise (with the attempt to pull me out of the dream state), so I tell them to get out. There is increased neuron energy in my annoyance, which vivifies my dream, but this does not wake me. Even so, a wall opens up, though it leads more inward into the dream state by my intent, and I see everyone else walking out into a forest. It is still night. I walk into the forest, finding it a pleasurable setting. The woman and her two children have gone behind some dense shrubbery. The vague awareness my dream is becoming a bathroom wake-up call remains in the background. The preconscious becomes an animal semblance. A bear is in the woods, so I decide to turn around and find shelter. Ambiguity becomes a factor, and the house no longer exists, but there is still a bathroom left. I go in. The bear follows me, but I close the door. At times, I can see its claws slide in and out under the door. I hold the door closed, my strength keeping the bear from coming in. Wall mediation vivifies my dream and increases awareness of my identity. Imaginary physicality and momentum become more realistic. I try to sustain my dream despite my need to wake. I fill my hands with water from the running faucet of the bathtub on my right. The tangibility of the water is amazingly realistic, and I can feel its heat (cortical arousal overriding virtual melatonin mediation). I think the bear might be annoyed by the hot water, so I continue to fling it under the door. The bear seems annoyed but does not leave. The dynamics of cortical arousal integrate more with the situation, and guns appear. I suddenly have a Beretta in my right hand, and there are now weapons and several rounds of ammunition on the other side of the door. I shoot the pistol under the door at a rocket launcher. My act implies ambiguous intent as I typically use fire to wake myself. The house exists again. The missile curves, but its trajectory remains adjacent to the outer walls of the house. With x-ray vision, I see its flames. I also hear a loud sizzling. I am amused. I anticipate it will explode near the front of the house. I sense my thoughts creating the dream content, but release the dynamics of cortical arousal so that I remain in the dream state. As a result, the rocket does not explode. I make one more attempt to reset my dream. I open the door, and the bear becomes smaller, backs away, and falls into a pothole filled with water. Only its head is visible. The house is gone again, and it is if I am looking at a street. Even so, I turn to go into the forest, and the house appears again. Sleep-wake mediation continues, and my dream’s potential exit point renders as a store’s checkout (which is common). Zsuzsanna is here. The preconscious personification is here with her two children, except they are now both boys. I make one more attempt to remain in the dream state. I walk back to the beginning of the checkout and pick up a magazine (cognitive arousal). Liminal awareness that reading is often not viable in the dream state causes the magazine to fly out of my hands and slap against the ceiling, briefly sticking to it (vestibular cortex liminality). Two can play at this game, so I use telekinesis to cause the magazine to fly rapidly all around the checkout area and slap into my hands three times. The preconscious, now a man, looks on with puzzlement, and I finally wake myself by going to the end up the checkout (exit point). Compare this with another recent bathroom wake-up call dream where I was in an underwater bathroom and holding the door against a giant catfish. Another dreaming experience rendered the RAS semblance as a vulture, blocking me from the bathroom in that instance because of vestibular system correlation and drop anticipation (with its association with flying or falling). There was one with the same dynamics with a snake, and one with a lioness as the RAS semblance. Some people might wonder why a different RAS semblance occurs with what is otherwise the same simple process each time. The reason is to prevent a pattern from emerging, which would confuse the dream self into thinking there is wakefulness consistency present.
Morning of December 3, 2019. Tuesday. Dream #: 19,342-02. Reading time: 1 min 40 sec. My dream begins with the instinctual anticipation of wall mediation, the usual maneuvering between dream space and waking space. There is no imaginary proprioception as cognitive arousal dominates my transition in this case. I sit on a bed in an unknown location without my waking-life identity. I read details in a newspaper for two television shows. I am to participate in the filming of a new series that involves a casual conversation with a celebrity. The “gatekeeper” (personified preconscious) between dream space and waking space is an unfamiliar Australian actor. I stand up when I see the word “EXCITE” flashing in midair (an instinctual association with cortical arousal). Even though I am in an indoor setting, the whole wall is open directly to the street, and an oncoming jeep is carrying the actor to my location. The preconscious simulacrum is a passive rendering. He sits on the bed as we talk about the conditions of his environment. “What is it like to live in such a hot, dry climate,” I ask him - as if I live in a different region. He talks about himself and his status. At this point, I notice a big cardboard box near the bed (compartmentalization of the process) that contains outdoor features such as grass, rocks, and small shrubs. There is also a seemingly tame Australian possum running around in the box. This feature is meant to induce recall of my waking life, as Zsuzsanna had a pet possum while we were writing to each other, but the heat (in real life) makes cortical arousal sluggish. Instead, I ask the man if all possums are as tame as this one. He answers in the negative. He seems slightly impatient. The processing changes back to cognitive. The simulacrum subsides for a time. I read about the actor in his fictitious television series from years previously, though the preconscious process heightens to the imaginary inference of intrusion. I read the name of the show as “Bryant’s Bandits” (typical redundant dream state phonetics like “Tony Karoni” from years ago). I instinctually try to reinduce my dream with water reinduction as virtual melatonin mediation. I teleport to a big lake. The actor is seemingly filming a new episode of “Bryant’s Bandits,” which is about men on a submarine with him as the captain, though they are not criminals but military. He stands atop the submarine while his men stand on the shore. The sleep-wake mediation becomes preconsciously authoritative, so I let myself wake into another hot day.
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