Blue_Opossum

Morning of August 5, 2015. Wednesday.



More. There is always so much more. Just when I had finished “The Macaroni and Spaghetti Mystery - Solved?” (August 4, 2015), the Source decides to start playing with me again and confirm at least some of what I already knew, yet alarm me with another end-of-the-world dream. It carries much the same theme as “Explosion on the Sun” (April 26, 1972). I believe, just as with an atomic bomb, a catastrophic CME mostly only represents the waking process and the transition of energies between different levels of consciousness. I know this from “A Place in the Sky” (November 26, 2014) where I was able to “pause” the nuclear event (though it was still occurring extremely slowly, though so slowly as to not be perceivable or represent any kind of a threat) and thus my dream did not end and it became more vivid (though not quite to apex lucidity - though it did not “need” to be) and longer than usual.

In this dream, I am living with my family in a completely unfamiliar building. My mother is alive again and there are a few bags of books apparently from the library. We llive on the first floor of a building that seems somewhat commercial as the windows are like glass walls. The residence seems to be in a larger city. Along with books, there are also some music CDs and movies. For some reason, I find myself looking for a certain CD and cannot find it anywhere. I also note the variety of books, some quite large. I say something aloud about wandering why she had checked out so much as she will not have time to read all these books, or in fact, even finish one of them.

However, I realize that Zsuzsanna had also likely checked out several items from the library, including several children’s books. There are at least four larger bags full and I continue to search for something I was sure was there before but cannot find it now (recurring dream situation).

Meanwhile, around this same time period, there had been some solar flare and aurora activity that was not threatening in any way. It seems to have stopped. The time seems to be just after noon.

I notice one very odd DVD cover, a movie I am not familiar with and I am very surprised my mother had checked it out, as it looks like a very amateurish adult (X-rated) movie. I then see that the unlikely DVD had somehow duplicated itself so that there are now two copies, though this does not trigger lucidity. The cover is extraordinarily ugly and disturbing and vaguely reminds me of a vampire theme (though is more lamprey-like facially). It features a girl with a huge perfectly circular mouth, so large as to almost be twice its normal size and it almost seems I can make out gills on the inside (on each side). I find myself staring at this imagery in a typical “frozen” surreal dream event (similar to “Dennis the Cyclops” from June 1, 1988). The “lamprey girl” apparently seems to only serve as an oral sex vessel in the movie (I assume), though this does not make much sense in afterthought, as her mouth is far too large to be able to give pleasure in any way. As I continue to gawk at this horrendous image, an unknown female (possibly an implied secretary or nanny) comes into the room and asks me about the solar flares and CMEs, as she says “the sky is flashing again”.

I go out to the front room and notice that the sky is indeed flashing (that is, the light in the room is cycling as brighter and dimmer in perfect timing). I look out and see a very vivid and realistic scene of strips of plasma coming down from the clouds and setting things on fire when they hit. It seems like it may be the end of the world. Through the glass walls on the opposite side of the room, I see Julia (from “Under the Dome”) running towards our building with her side on fire and smoke coming out. (This scene was obviously influenced by the “Ejecta” episode of “Under the Dome” though it is not her that is killed by the fire.) I first thought she was my wife (before she got closer to the windows) but then I realize my wife is probably safe inside. Still, I wonder how long this will last and if it really is the end.

Shift. I remember the entry “The Macaroni and Spaghetti Mystery - Solved?” and realize what I wrote was correct, though there is more. Though macaroni does indeed represent the human brain (because of its appearance) and implied mental energies, “macaroni” is also an in-dream play on “my corona” (my crown). This causes me to reflect on another layer of “As the Worm Turns” (May 17, 2014). The worms falling out of my hair and becoming dried elbow macaroni are a play on the loss of “my corona” (my crown) in that I was leaving the dream state and no longer the king (though I was not lucid in that dream anyway - it was just more vivid than usual).

Also, the typical day-to-day precognitive layer follows (though as stated before I do not always document it online); my wife opened a letter from the library shortly after my dream and it said she had one overdue CD - which included songs from the “Twilight” (vampire) movie. I had no way of knowing this otherwise.

This also influenced me to have another look at “Dennis the Cyclops” due to it reminding me of the “lamprey girl” to some extent. Here are my words from that entry from my dream of June 1, 1988: “The ‘Dennis the Menace’ comic prior to this date was a gag where he said 'Guess what, mom! All the mirrors in the house look like ME!’ (and the one on this date - not yet seen at the time - having him ask Mr. Wilson, who is digging, 'Who buries the worms here in the first place?’ - nothing I know of relating to any 'explanation’ for this imagery other than the eye being partly mirror-like).”

Note the “worms” play again right after the unusual reference to what could be a play on Universal Mind (“All the mirrors in the house look like ME!”). Also, June 1, 2001 (not only exactly thirteen years after my dream but also exactly thirteen years after the “worms in the ground” panel he drew) is when Hank Ketcham, the artist of “Dennis the Menace”, passed away.

Night of August 4, 2015. Tuesday.



Even though I have only seen the “Uhny Uftz” episode of “The Dick Van Dyke Show” a few times in my life (the first occasion being September 29, 1965 on my sister’s television on Rose Street), it sometimes surfaces in my dreams as the autosymbolic model of vestibular system correlation.

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In my very vivid dream, I am in the same setting and scene as the image with this entry, and mostly lucid and in a very peaceful state. I recognize immediately what is going on, and, although the scene is a bit eerie, it shifts dramatically.

Instead of Dick Van Dyke continuing to remain pressing nervously against the windows of his office to see if he can make out the flying saucer presumed to be out in the night sky, he is suddenly on board the flying saucer (apparently alone, though this is uncertain, as I am watching the scenario while incorporeal) looking out over his building and city (even though in the show’s episode, it was only a toy flying saucer). He appears as he did around this time period (though he is now eighty-nine years old in real life). There is an amazingly comfortable sense of peace (even though I sense that he may not fully realize where he is or perhaps reflect he is dreaming). He remains standing and smiling and gazing out happily over the city below.

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I explain this dream type further in “Dreams of Type PRECONAV-VSCPCEL, 01-15”.

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Night of August 4, 2015. Tuesday.



Here I go with a bad habit of a titular trend again (the other being “Not Quite…”). My apologies.

My wife Zsuzsanna and I are walking through a (unknown) city and enjoying our moments together. I sense an inner glow and realize we are not quite “human” in the sense of being able to blend in with others randomly wandering about in the streets.

I am walking closer to a group of people when it seems my wife says “I don’t know if we should be doing this”. It is very clear and even resonates as my wife’s voice, yet at the same time, there is sudden micro-amnesia and I cannot remember if I had said it or she did.

What she meant was that I should not attempt to communicate in any way with ordinary people (or at least the people in the area). A man turns around and looks in our direction. My wife transforms into her human form with an apparent optical illusion as the light above and behind her is actually the sun. The man looks confused for a short time, because the sun had shifted from one side of the sky to the other to match its new implied placement behind us.

“I read your wife’s lips in the video”, he says somewhat sarcastically. “Your wife was talking about reincarnation.” (What sort of idiot do we have here?) Aha, I get it now. She was talking about the carnations on the table beside her, not reincarnation (in my dream she had actually apparently said “red carnation” which looks like “reincarnation” to a lip reader, I would guess). The mob looks restless.

I then start to “recall” (via false memory) that my wife is the reincarnation of Pearl Dower. This will not do even though it makes a fair amount of sense through my dream’s hazy state of mind. We need to leave the area before more people arrive. My thoughts become muddled. There is no exact date of death for Pearl that I know of (and another Pearl died who would have been a half-sister before I was born) so I cannot confirm the idea is even feasible in the first place. I am trying to reason it out. It is probably just another annoying puzzle that will not ever go anywhere. Just as I come out of my dream, I clearly hear someone (an older male) shout “Sit down!” as if some sort of echo from a meeting, perhaps seconds previously, or very long ago.

Afternoon of August 4, 2015. Tuesday.



I will open this entry with a recent very vivid and somewhat disturbing dream (on some levels).

“Spaghetti Brain”

Morning of August 2, 2015. Sunday.

I am in my present home on W Street and I notice my youngest son sleeping on his left side on the floor. His head is encased in a glass aquarium filled with water. As I look more closely, I notice that the area where his hair would normally be is fleshy (though somewhat hollow) and that there are strands of (cooked) “living spaghetti” moving about in the water (somewhat worm-like) as if related to some sort of breathing function. At times, though, the “spaghetti” is much sparser and this seems cause for concern. I also see a small piece of macaroni at times (mostly above where his ears would otherwise be), which vaguely reminds me of some sort of tiny worm. He does not seem to be in distress though I still worry about whether or not this is normal. I seem more concerned when there is the least spaghetti “swimming” about and moving down and through some sort of organic structure near his neck. As vivid and surreal (and bizarre) this imagery is, I do not become lucid at any point. I continue to have deep concern about his well-being, but there does not seem to actually be anything wrong. I get the impression that there is not as much active “spaghetti” because he is in a deep sleep.

My above dream probably relates to seeing myself in the form of my son and puzzling about the nature of consciousness and still not becoming lucid in this case. It also correctly shows the nature of my consciousness in sleep (spaghetti becoming sparser in there being less critical thinking on hand).

“‘Eat me…eat me…’ and animated birds” (July 6, 1985) caught me in sleep paralysis which is normally pleasant, though this was not. A box of Kraft macaroni and cheese “dances” and rattles in the air near my head and screams “eat me eat me eat me” as I try to cover my head with my pillow. I have updated this entry with my interpretation, so am linking this particular one in this entry.

“Tornado Encounter” (November 24, 2014) has the tornado turning my old neighborhood in La Crosse into large strands of cooked spaghetti (rather than the expected debris of wood and glass and such). It also replaces the one block of Loomis Street with a bridge (not that elevated), the only time a dream has created this alteration of the setting. There is an additional concept that ties in with the Disney animated movie “Lady and the Tramp”. Even though I had updated “Tornado Encounter” fairly recently, there is still more in the decoding. The scene causes me to think of when the two dogs end up kissing accidentally due to both picking up and sucking in the same strand of spaghetti (a scene I saw numerous times as a child in television commercials). So, in knowing that a tornado is the bottom half of the Merkaba and that spaghetti is related to extensions of mental energies, this dream is showing me that I need to “pick up the strand of spaghetti” and wake up to be with my soulmate (as the “old neighborhood” is gone) so I can kiss her and not wander about in dreams so much other than when becoming lucid and seeking higher states and real knowledge (rather than conjecture). Now that I know what spaghetti lying about anywhere means, I am thus prepared.

“The Legend of Tony Karoni” (June 27, 1976), though not related to a pasta theme, does include the surname “Karoni”, naturally causing me to think of macaroni (as well as “mac” being another word for a man whose name is unknown). There also seems to be some sort of play on the idea of a “spaghetti western” (though in fact, it is supposedly called a “macaroni western” primarily in Japan). “Needle’s cell” in fact, may be a deliberate play on brain cells, this dream being about a month before my surgery on my right thumb and wrist, which is related to much of how I interpreted it at the time.

“As the Worm Turns” (May 17, 2014), which was “dream of the day” on one site on Monday, August 3, 2015, also had implications of macaroni being close to the head (and even inside the brain - taking me back to someone who was making jokes about “brain worms” regarding raisins in muffins at my father’s wake and where I just sat gasping and giggling foolishly at his audacity). In this case, the supposed “killer worms”, in dying, fall out of my hair as seemingly uncooked elbow macaroni (in a very vivid perspective). This also relates to my own conscious energy not being in my dream as I am not lucid. The potential though unacknowledged and uncontrolled “mental energies” are the worms in this case and become macaroni prior to my waking since I had not used the energies for apex lucidity. The likely play on “showing your feathers” in this dream is probably sarcasm from the Source (or a wayward orphaned tulpa) based on the line "stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni”.

Additionally, the “Tornadopillar” dream (April 3, 1982) brings to mind a dream, “The Great 'God’ Worm” (April 4, 1992) where the Merkaba is huge (appearing, in fact, as the total essence of god) and appears as a giant albino glass-like earthworm, “spinning” into my forehead like a tornado force after spending time with my wife-to-be at the top of a truncated staircase (which also seemed to be in a “divine” portmanteau setting including restaurant and observatory).

In conclusion, macaroni and spaghetti represent the energies of the human brain. The link to caterpillars and earthworms is also relevant due to their visual similarities. The difference is that caterpillars “ascend” in becoming butterflies (“lower” mental energies into ascension with soulmate union) and in contrast, the earthworm can be either microcosm or macrocosm (in either digging deep or “digging as high as possible” in the “god-like” Palouse earthworm form - or great white worm, which unfortunately is associated with the devil in some schools of thought).

There. I am glad I got this all sorted out. Thank you for reading.

Morning of August 3, 2015. Monday.



This is a recurring concept though always different, that is, my dream rendering the Internet as being on paper and in various notebooks rather than on a computer or visible computer network. This concept has been more prevalent over the past six years or so.

In this dream, I am with a group of people of whom I do not know, though my wife Zsuzsanna is also in the room. I am not sure if it is in an implied residence of ours or a business.

There seems to be some sort of political atmosphere though I suspect it may also relate to finding information to validate certain aspects (such as possible previously unrealized influences) of my childhood dream journals. Somehow, I go to a website by holding a pencil down over the URL that is printed on paper and the “website” appears on another document in the room. This works for about fifteen minutes or so, but the information becomes a bit sparse over time.

Soon, all evidence of the particular “website” seems to vanish as if a portion of the Internet simply disconnected all public servers solely due to someone using it after a presumed long public hiatus. I get a very vague impression that it was a website used to store hidden information related to politicians, and someone noticed it was in use and did not want the information to be used publicly. I get a vague impression of a young blonde female, somehow “seeing” her, though more just being aware that she is the only one left watching the server activity, and she seems annoyed and realizes that she must shut the network down.

Of course, this is all metaphorical, as there are no actual computers anywhere, only various documents that apparently teleport from one place to another, or more likely, copy themselves to another location, somewhat like a FAX without the FAX machine, I suppose.

There are a few points of frustration when pressing on a printed URL on a sheet of paper does not seem to work as well as at other times. Also, the resulting paper or documents appear in a hard-to-find location at times (such as behind several files in a filing cabinet), though still in the same room. Sometimes there are only a few lines on them.

Night of August 3, 2015. Monday.



As promised in my last entry, here are five dreams that I have managed to include simple sheet music with online. With the equipment and technology we have presently, I could probably even duplicate each theme fairly faithfully, though we are working on other projects presently.

In this dream (“Never Go to Waikiki Again” from July 5, 1969), the music is more in the background almost like an in-dream afterthought for the most part and coming during the waking process itself (at least in the first version of my dream).

In this dream (“War of the Serpents” from September 11, 1969) the music seems to mostly be performed with a saxophone, xylophone, and an almost inaudible background orchestra that fades in and out unrealistically (that is, for a real-life commercial production).

In this dream (“Things…From Outer Space” from November 7, 1970), the music is somewhat light and “distant” (in this case I made a recording as a child but am not sure where it is located; possibly at a relative’s house).

In this dream (“Them ol’ Glass Jars” from July 12, 1975), the theme is more musical and sung by a girl’s chorus though the glass jar effect gets louder as I get closer to the waking process.

In this dream (“The Legend of Tony Karoni” from June 27, 1976) the included sheet music represents a very limited rendering of the otherwise layered musical speaking (by the bandits) at the end of my dream (which was very vivid to the point of almost being startling). The harmonics are not included here, thus it is only slightly faithful to my dream. In this case, I am also reminded of how “Yellow Submarine” by the Beatles is off-key in the chorus harmonics (where oddly most people do not notice unless they listen more closely) whereas most sheet music versions I have seen (except for one version that is faithful to what is actually sung) utilize only relevant harmonics to the chord, giving it a completely different sound and mood in most cover versions with not a single change in the notes, which makes me automatically cringe after being used to the Beatles version (even though it is off-key).

Original date: Night of April 10, 1994. Sunday.



As I cannot really relate music heard in a dream to text, I have decided to include an old video of some work we did years ago. The video itself was random scenes mostly from April 8th to April 9th (1994). It used to be linked to another entry years ago, but this has been uploaded to a different site.

In another entry, I will link five descriptive dreams (including from childhood) where I have made a simple sheet music format for them with the entry (although in this case, the music would be secondary, and also had only been ineffectively described previously).

It mostly related to a longer imagery-based dream that featured a variety of elaborate wedding cakes and ceremonies, including Hathor representations. The video mostly came from VHS (except for the boys at the end), hence the “striped” rendering from some copies (and not redone).

If listening on headphones (especially studio-quality monitors), make sure my Daion bass does not bust your eardrums. Thanks. Appreciated. (The track is unmastered though originally was on the old DMusic site when it was still up.) Sparse vocals by wife Zsuzsanna.

Hold in the light when the sun goes down

Defending family on solid ground…

Morning of August 2, 2015. Sunday.



There is a small hill on the side of a larger hill sloped down to my left with a single tree growing on the top and a small cave within the smaller hill that is slightly to the left at first. Looking more closely upon approach, tree roots hang down from the ceiling of the cave. This creates somewhat of an unusual impression that I cannot put words to. It gives me pause to think that, even though the tree is possibly very old, many of its roots are exposed within the cave, even more-so by anyone who wants to mess about in the cave. In fact, I even get the impression of an unsavory character looking around the side of the hill to my right.

Going partly into the cave though mostly staying by the entrance, I discover that the roots are actually not roots, but the trunk of some sort of miniature exotic tree (possibly a fruit tree of some kind). The top of the tree is in fact very green and I now see that the roof of the cave has nothing hanging from it as was seen just previously. Now I think that this special tree may even be more vulnerable than the tree above (even though it is unlikely it would have flourished in a dark cave as such) as it is seemingly much younger and certainly smaller.

However, it soon dawns on me that I am, in fact, in the cave myself (rather than looking in from just outside) and am looking out at a normal-sized tree in a field that is a fair distance from the cave, as I realize I am looking at a blue sky from my viewpoint rather than the dark recesses of a cave. (There is a brief sense of deja vu relating to something about commentary on dream journals, yet I cannot quite focus and I am in no way lucid and the idea of a dream journal, especially a digital one, falsely seems somewhat abstract and “out of reach”). I am wondering if I should feel vulnerable now that I am in the cave and am not sure if I should exit. I do not really focus on the illogical changes of perspective and imagery and placement that I would otherwise just enjoy in light sleep paralysis (during the speedier imagery before it slows down enough to “enter” when a more interesting setting or location appears).

When I was very young, I played near a recess in a hill on Chipmunk Coulee, though the “cave” was not very deep. I remember at least one photograph where I was sitting in the area, which is probably with at least one relative now. I remember the unusual perspective I had at that age (which carried over into some later dreams) of being “between worlds” just by sitting within the entrance (part of me outside, part inside).

Morning of August 1, 2015. Saturday.



In my dream, I find myself in an unknown composite, atypical, and possibly a mix of Rose Street and North Monroe Street, though another location is added later on. I am seemingly in a house visiting people I do not really know (or recognize in conscious afterthought) at all, possibly my presence based on a friend knowing this family. There is a man and his wife, probably in their thirties and they have at least three teenage daughters. In some ways, this is the opposite of a typical imposer dream in that I feel as if I am imposing in this one (rather than people I do not know “invading” our home), which is so rare, I cannot recall the last time this situation occurred in this particular manner.

I am sitting in a cloth-upholstered armchair (not a recliner or at least not open as one) in what I am guessing is a large dining room. The large rectangular dining table with a dark brown veneer surface is longways from the wall (and against it on the opposite end) directly facing to my side of the room. It takes me awhile to realize that I am not dressed and just have a sheet around me. Still, not only does no one seem to notice, the married couple seem to be somewhat impatient or concerned about my not being at the table yet (though not angrily so; they are quite cordial and welcoming). The unknown female has apparently put a lot of effort in preparing a large meal and I feel slightly bad about not being certain if I really want to sit down with them (especially as I am only in a sheet). At the same time, I notice that there are only six places set across from each other (none on the edge opposite the wall though there would be room for one extra setting there otherwise), and this does not at all seem to be enough space for all of us (considering that there are also a few other guests around my age, it seems, though they may not actually all be staying).

I feel that the food should not go to waste, though I tell them I have to use their bathroom (mainly so that I may get dressed even though they still do not seem to care at all even though they are devout Christians). When I go into the bathroom, I am aware that it is actually the room I stayed in on Loomis Street when first moving from Florida in the summer of 1978. Through the doorway (south) is the (wrongly placed) dining room I had just left and to my right (west), instead of the door into the very large closet that adjoins the two bedrooms, it appears to be an open door that leads to a small unlit room that is also adjacent to the dining room. Also, there is no curtain on the south doorway, so I am directly exposed to people walking around in the dining room, who are seemingly becoming concerned at me not coming out yet. There is actually a toilet in the room directly facing the south doorway. I stand in this area trying to put clothes on (which were apparently absentmindedly left by another male) though people keep coming in and interrupting me, albeit either cheerfully or absentmindedly. This includes my sister-in-law Cindy (appearing as she did about twenty years ago) coming in from the west doorway and Zsuzsanna’s half-brother Simon coming in from the south doorway at different times.

Finally, the three girls come in and start yelling at each other and punching each other in the stomach. Then the mother comes in after a couple minutes and yells at all of them, and then all four of them are all wrestling around on the floor and rolling around and fighting and kicking (though I am not sure why). I decide I have had enough of this and will not stay for dinner after all and will just leave in a sheet. I have no desire to get involved in whatever issues they have with each other.

My dream’s ending was mainly environmentally scripted by at least two girls arguing outside our window (while they were walking down the footpath) when I was sleeping, as has happened in the past, thus changing the nature of my dream. The rest of my dream was likely heavily influenced by two Jehovah’s Witnesses (male and female) knocking on the door quite early around the same time period, as my wife had told me they left a paper which she immediately tossed away.

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Morning of July 31, 2015. Friday.



Notes: The included images are from one of my wife’s many journals, this one being from age fourteen. The two scans are from the same journal page, one showing a distorted Merkaba form, and the other inclusive of the line “I feel you around me even though you have not found me”.



Dream notes:

Yet again, many years of my life and memory “vanish” and I am probably about nineteen years old. I am apparently in La Crosse at the Post Office (though it is actually a typical muddled composite location). Several other people are around (mostly males around twenty to thirty years of age) even though it is seemingly late at night (and the post office would otherwise be closed to the public by then in reality). I do not seemingly know anyone else though there is a friendly atmosphere.

As I am seated across from another male, a Blue Pearl event (Merkaba portal) blocks my left eye’s field of vision (though not entirely) as in real life. However, this does not activate my memory (likely as it is just a rendered dream event and the Merkaba portal only appears in full wakeful consciousness). The other male had been aware of seeing the “blue flame” around me and seems somewhat surprised. “Did you see that?” I ask him and he nods.

A little later, I try to “call” it but nothing happens other than a light blue veil-like impression in my left eye that quickly disperses. That is, it is very subtle and does not come “closer” or briefly flash and darken before fading. I end up trying over about twenty minutes in about three locations where other people are around. A couple people think I am jesting and make jokes about other colors such as yellow. One even pushes me near the shoulder (though lightly in a friendly manner). I am somewhat frustrated I cannot call back the Source for whatever reason, though I have no focused intent on why - just the idea of the appearance and not how I would relate to it. (Although there is information about “Metatron’s Cube” I have only ever seen the star tetrahedron that forms the blue portal when the normal and inverted pyramids come together and rotate in opposite directions, although my wife had drawn variations on it in her journal during her childhood and early teen years, along with, of course, the opossum under the airplane and hundreds of other remote-viewed confirmations.)

There is one scene where a male is kneeling on the floor and seemingly doing some sort of occult ritual against another person (which I assume is metaphorical of people connected to the Source being manipulated by “normal” people and their false views of life). I immediately mumble some Latin (though I am not sure of the phrase; part of it was something like “dimittam”) and the implied villain falls over and is unable to move and the other person goes on his way.

From here, I hear people talking about how the bus is late. I go out and see (on the other side of the street from the post office) two different buses, though there is another one on the post office side. The bus I have to get, second one across the street (facing southward) does not have a driver, as he seems to be involved in a fight - not a violent or physical fight but chasing someone from the area for some reason. The area north of the post office (on the side of the street I am on) is modeled fairly accurately after the bus stop area of the Chermside Shopping Center that was several blocks away when we lived on Stadcor Street, but this does not dawn on me. (Thus, once again, Australian and American settings join in an in-dream composite rendering.)

I am feeling inside my right pocket for change and can clearly feel the coins (of which there are about seven of various denominations) and try to determine what they are by feeling the size - and reflect that there is at least about a dollar, though I am somewhat concerned if I have enough money for the bus (though I am not sure what the fee is), though I do not even reflect on what my destination is. My dream fades from around this point (before I get to the bus). It is possible, though not certain, that “trying to determine the denomination of a coin by feeling it” has something to do with a focus on trying to relate (blindly) to other people’s religions without really knowing at all what they mean, as “denomination” can also be defined as “a recognized autonomous branch of the Christian Church”.



Although I do not typically document it online as it is almost continuous (and is sometimes so precise, it would almost make my dream extraneous by description - and who wants an extraneous dream journal), yet again a dream utilizes something my wife had been thinking (without her saying anything to me) or a detailed subject of something she and our oldest daughter had talked about (without any way of me knowing about it - unless there is some sort of invisible intercom on my computer desk that relays the information - a bit of dry humor). She and our daughter were talking about the “blue moon” last night (of which I did not know anything about otherwise).

At the same time, it is also precognitive of something I see immediately after waking (also typical from day to day). In this case, it was a rather idiotic local article called “‘Blue moon’ doesn’t mean the moon is actually blue” and seemed almost like a humorous “continuation” of a couple in-dream concepts (from others in the post office).

Morning of July 30, 2015. Thursday.



This recurring dream situation is not remotely symbolic in any way that I can tell and is mostly only literally based on real-life annoyances as well as environmental scripting (for example, light hammering and weed whackers very early in the morning). I had previously posted similar environmentally-scripted dreams, including the “inferior decorators” theme. This one is not quite as surreal and the noise was not quite as intrusive. As I have said, when there is environmental noise during sleep, I sometimes also dream of exploding credit cards, playing cards, and other smaller items that disappear in a bright flash, leaving me somewhat puzzled unless I am lucid and even then it causes a brief shift in in-dream perception.

In my dream, it seems to be the present, though we are living in a different (unfamiliar) residence. It seems like a large two-storey house. The room I am “sleeping in seems to be L-shaped and on the second floor. I am at the "foot” of the “L” back against an area where I do not expect the renovator to approach. He mostly remains in the “stem” of the “L” though I hold the sheet almost fully over me in case any paint flakes go flying in my direction. He has some sort of vacuum-cleaner-like machine he is carrying around (like a suitcase) and seemingly sucking up all the cracked and peeling paint that I guess is mostly on the ceiling in the “stem” area. However, at one later point, I look up and see that not only is there loose peeled paint everywhere, the wood of the ceiling itself seems to be fused into the paint and splintering down somewhat, though looking almost like plastic, yet the unintended “design” is very even and regular across the whole ceiling. This seems a bit odd, as I am fairly certain I heard him scraping the layer of paint off (as well as some sanding, I think, or vacuuming off any chipped paint) and assumed it would be fairly smooth by now. I get the brief impression that someone might actually try to paint the ceiling in this strange condition.

In another scene, my wife Zsuzsanna and I are embracing near a window on the second floor. A cherry picker is just outside and at least two men are staring into the window from perhaps ten feet away. (Strangely enough, this brings to mind a recently reviewed dream from all the way back to 1967, about forty-eight years ago - “Ferris Wheel at my Window” - which also has people using an unfair advantage to look in through my second-storey window). As I am noticing this, my wife somehow goes straight out the window and is suddenly on the ground below yelling at the work team (without being injured in any way, and in fact, not even seeming to climb out but just teleport or go through the wall and drop vertically and perfectly). I am slightly startled by this and then go to look for her.

From here, I go outside and I start yelling at any other male that may be within hearing range. A friendly male comes from around the corner of the house and asks me if I am talking to him but I say “no” so as not to hurt his feelings or alter his friendly nature.

I then go to some sort of warehouse-like building with no external walls (similar to the look of the unfinished house my wife lived in as a child). There is a lot of junk, which is probably related to the renovation work. Not much happens after this though I am thinking I will probably end up doing much of the painting myself.

Morning of July 29, 2015. Wednesday.



My dream before this, as is sometimes the case, is just a bit too surreal to even begin to describe correctly, though I would not say abstract. It involved something about another planet (or perhaps alternate universe) with at least three larger unusual lifeforms, one like some sort of composite of snake, slug, and something else. I and about three others are exploring the area and a couple different creatures approach us (I assume by either scent detection or movement) but there is no direct threat. We actually seem to be some sort of creatures in a couple scenes. It is hard to relate. The region is not that defined and seems somewhat like a miniature mountain and cliff area. One of us as a creature first seems terrified (of the snake-slug-whatever) but others of us (as creatures) are able to communicate with the other creature and it goes on its way.

At any rate, I shift into a more “normal” dream and am in a room that (yet again) seems loosely modeled after features from the house in Cubitis (where I have not lived since late June of 1978). This time the carport area is apparently inside the house though the window (of the internal wall) of my oldest son’s room makes it seem like our present home on W Street. (Otherwise his room would be modeled after my room as a teenager).

For seemingly the “entire night” I am playing around with some sort of unusual compact disc. It has a pattern on its surface much like the image in this entry on the playing side (rather than more uniform bands of color). For some reason, I “recognize” it as a chaordic disc that can be “played” by randomly moving the mouse so that the laser goes all over the surface through random data rather than just reading it normally.

Doing this (and I have no clue why) results as one continuous combined event in various very short pieces of music, voices (mostly female) uttering one phrase, fractal patterns forming out of quickly sequenced images, and so on, with possibly what may even be some correct new form of mathematics related to fractals and chaos-related calculus (which I do not work on as much as I did about twenty years ago). I can clearly hear everything in perfect stereo though the imagery is two-dimensional as on my real computer monitor (and I do not attempt to “project” into the imagery).

Again, I am not sure why I have gotten into playing around like this. It may even be originally (at least in one data track) some sort of portmanteau movie though also integrated with scientific data and other features. Some of the images on the screen are cloud forms mixed with Mandelbrot patterns. It is almost like trying to make sense out of watching frames of several different movies at once out of about a hundred total while listening to one or half a measure of various audio recordings.

I eventually notice my oldest son’s computer coming on in the next room (via the window in the internal wall) except that it is only white lines slowly appearing in sequence on a black screen as it boots up (as on an old MS-DOS system). I am surprised my son is up so early in the morning to look at his computer (as it is not yet dawn). My computer’s monitor had been facing north (as I am looking south) and my son’s computer’s monitor is facing east. Yet again, I am “fooled” (or I fool myself, more like) into integrating my Cubitis home into a recent dream setting with my typical in-dream amnesia of real-life present locations (as I am not lucid at any point). However, no composite is ever quite the same as any other even after hundreds of variations, which is intriguing in a way.

Morning of July 28, 2015. Tuesday.



I enter apex lucidity and allow a generic cafe to form (a typical setting in this state) and allow it to transform in various ways and various color schemes until it stabilizes without using any affirmations or practiced mental forms. I decide to remain passive as some fairly interesting umbrellas form. However, instead of walking around until I trip over something and fall forward out of the state (in a hypnic jerk) I find myself rotating the angle until everything is upside down. I watch the umbrella turn and it reminds me of a carousel for some reason (though no actual carousel appears, or rather, the umbrella does not change that dramatically as features sometimes do regarding wherever the attention flows).

Two unknown girls appear from the periphery of my perspective and seem to enjoy the “umbrella carousel” ride. I think it might be better to just change it into a carousel (and perhaps even right side up) but I do not. For some reason, the gravity seems lighter in this location. Other random characters appear and disappear over time. I vaguely notice people walking upside-down on the “ceiling” (sidewalk) below but I do not feel disoriented. The umbrella cycles through several different styles and colors over time with only happy and passive emotions expressed. I am not that concerned about the world being “upside-down” above me. (I do not feel upside-down as in past dreams where I did different types of maneuvers - it seems of “normal” orientation.)

After about fifteen minutes, the focus shifts into a different dream state where I am in bed (as I am in reality) in our home on W Street. A toy flying saucer, seemingly the same one from the old “Uhny Uftz” episode of “The Dick Van Dyke Show” (first seen at age four on September 29, 1965 in La Crosse) but probably about one-fourth the size, is bumping against the light bulb in the ceiling in the living room (where there is not one in reality as the socket had disintegrated a few years ago) like a moth would do, not doing any damage to either itself or the bulb. I think of my mind as being four and clearly remember thinking the voice from the episode was saying “Oomy Oops” (even hearing my four-year-old voice say it vaguely, or perhaps it was actually my youngest son). That amuses me for a short time, but not for long and I catch myself wandering how I got to that point.

Morning of July 27, 2015. Monday.



After spending intimate time with Zsuzsanna in reality, I then enter the usual “portal” of apex lucidity with the lighter form of sleep paralysis (this being always effortless and automatic but different than the other type, which has sound and augmented touch but no imagery at all and a completely different awareness than the other form), the thin white lines (always starting with a “spark” that seems to “fall”, creating a door or impression of a door) quickly forming a fairly bright and highly detailed outdoor setting, rapidly changing several times (mostly in the background) but then stabilizing. My setting comes as an alternate version and fictional perspective of where the alley behind our house is implied to be (and looking due north). Even though I am blissfully looking into our backyard (and clearly recognize it as such), everything is different. For example, the tall dark wooden fence is a much shorter picket fence and our shed is not here at all. Additionally, the fence squares off and seems to divide the area of where the central line (longways) of the shed would be in reality. This is somewhat amusing (though perhaps I am somehow “seeing” another time period; would not be the first time - for example, after our shed is finished being eaten by termites and new shorter fences are added one day, perhaps). I know exactly what I am looking at…except that it is not really how it looks. I find this familiarity yet typical “wrongness” of rendering quite enjoyable, particularly as it was created so quickly. I have no idea how that is possible, or how it can seem so realistic, but I go with it.

I notice that there is a round wooden card table near the west side of the backyard, a bit closer to the house, as well as at least three bentwood chairs (though I only focus on one of them). I “explode” the chair and table into splinters after playing around with them for awhile, spinning them in the air and such with in-dream telekinesis. Then I reintegrate them back to normal. Breathe in, reintegrate, breath out, explode, and so on. It vaguely reminds me of the motions of bits of straw moving on the surface of a pond. The chair noiselessly (well perhaps with a soft subtle “puff”) explodes into splinters, the splinters spin around…breath in…the chair is perfect again. I decide to let it hover in the air about seven feet above the ground at a tipped forward angle of about thirty degrees while the table continues to float about a foot from the ground.

The environment shifts slightly as I enter a more dynamic state (this is a specific type of dream state that seems to be “between worlds”). Everything is sand falling and holes opening up. I watch the incredible beauty of the transitions. At one point, it looks like concrete blocks have been placed sideways (longways north and south) all across where the parking lot across the street is in reality, each recess originally meant to be a place for an exotic plant, but sand is falling continuously; beautifully. This seems to shift into a new dynamic. Breathe in…miniature waterfalls everywhere; breath out, “sandfalls”. I reach my hand down to check the texture. It shifts between water molecules and grains of sand continuously and evenly with my breathing. I see very clear imagery of small white stones in potted plants. Miniature cycad palms emerge and sink back in at times.

After awhile, in this blissful appreciation of sand falling everywhere and moving and sliding downward (in different colors and textures) over various implied forms and with a slight granular “rustling sound” everywhere in the world, my dream shifts to another type of state and goes “Fantasia” on me. I am aware that instead of the parking lot, it is a very large mandrake garden. The mandrakes (all about four inches high) are ready to crawl up out of the ground and dance, a composite of the brooms moving about from “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” and the guards marching about outside the witch’s castle in “The Wizard of Oz”, though it becomes more like ballet after a time, all uniform, all smooth, all in harmony…except…

One mandrake seems to be struggling with his presumed partner (in trying to pull “her” from the ground). I go over and look and see him in a shallow hole pulling on something, which turns out to be a limp, lifeless carrot, only partially anthropomorphic. He looks up at me curiously. He has a face about the size of my thumb that looks much like a miniature old chimpanzee.

“That’s a carrot!” I shout gleefully.

He blinks and looks worried. “Oh?” he squeaks, with a raspy puzzled voice. He turns and walks away dejectedly as the hundreds of other paired mandrakes dance “perfectly”.

From here, I am in a fairly dark and seemingly undefined “void”. Some sort of “creatures” which are like giant luminous dandelion seeds (about five of them, about a foot and a half tall) lightly brush over the backs of my hands. There is an implied communication. At times, their luminosity changes slightly, becoming dimmer or brighter, mostly at the central area of the span of “tendrils”.

Morning of July 25, 2015. Saturday.



I had a very bland dream of looking at an unsolved diagramless crossword puzzle (which I had never been a fan of though had solved a few in my life). It does not seem to have been worked on correctly, as there are no symmetrical or mirrored aspects anywhere - the black squares seem all random. More oddly, no words have been filled in, which you would have to at least know some of to begin the implied pattern. I am not sure where the puzzle came from or who had been working on it.

It is possible that this dream was only a surfacing memory with in-dream distortion relating to when my older sister Marilyn gave me all of her puzzle books (including ones with pages of diagramless puzzles) going back to the 1950s and which I no longer possess (I wanted them to be in her house again, though they were probably discarded when she passed on). It could also relate to my view of society as somewhat random and not very organized or responding correctly to clues or other information, including the nature of authority and government.