non-lucid

Morning of May 3, 2020. Sunday.

Dream #: 19,494-01. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



In this dream from late morning, I maintain precursory liminality after I re-enter sleep. As a result, I recall Zsuzsanna and a few of my waking-life associations (including the instinctual perception of being in bed), though I lose recall of what a dream is (as I ordinarily do in this mode). Even so, it starts with my focus on our bed, but the setting is undefined at first. As Zsuzsanna and I are standing in a different room, I watch the sheet on the bed lift by itself and move back as if manipulated by an invisible person. (Note that this correlates with the management of precursory liminality and has happened in many previous dreams.)

Zsuzsanna and I walk into the unknown bedroom, and I am astounded by the realistic detail and precise rendering of the events (a thought process that never occurs in waking life - how many people, for example, would watch a car go down the street in waking life while thinking, “Wow, that looks so realistic”). Over time, my dream resolves the room as having the essence of the Barolin Street house’s lounge room (where a bed never was in waking life).

Eventually, the supposed ghost of a teenage girl is present and is responsible for the previous inexplicable activity. Her name is Sophie.

“Are you the same Sophie from years ago?” I ask her, but my question does not make much sense. She cheerfully confirms that she is by nodding. (She is an older version of Sophie Wender from John Wyndham’s “The Chrysalids,” also published as “Re-Birth.”) I move my hands through her hair, saying how “realistic” it seems as imaginary somatosensory dynamics increase exponentially. (Note that in a different recent dream, this same process resulted in removing sandspurs from a resting wolf’s fur.)

Eventually, with Zsuzsanna still in the room, another supposed ghost materializes. This one is Marcella Boyland from Daniel F. Galouye’s “Tonight the Sky Will Fall,” though I do not interact with her as much.

The need to wake to use the bathroom integrates into my dream’s content, resulting in liminal management and its personification as an unknown male ghost married to Sophie, a status previously unbeknown to me. (His manifestation annoys me, as Sophie is “mine,” but discarding the waking transition would be unwise.) As a result, I gaze into a mirror (though I do not see myself at any point, as the mirror is higher than my line of sight), with liminal drop anticipation. From this, the sketchy drawing of a crow fills the mirror, part of it including random zigzagging lines.

“Can ghosts influence what people see?” I absentmindedly ask the male. “I had that mirror back when I lived in Chicago,” says the male, which is the usual nonsensical response to questions asked in liminal mode. (Ghosts typically result from liminal management with waking-life identity being “incomplete” when between dreaming and waking.)

The “ghost” walks into the bathroom, causing me to realize that I need to wake up and go.

---

Pulling Sandspurs from a Wolf’s Fur

Morning of May 2, 2020. Saturday.

Dream #: 19,493-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min 30 sec.



I am sitting on the floor in the living room of a unique variation of the Loomis Street house near the front door. An unfamiliar man is present to my right (closest to the door). I am stroking the fur of a wolf that is lying on his left side. For a time, everything is relaxing and uneventful.

Somehow, I get sandspurs stuck on me, and they immediately form at least two lines on the wolf’s fur, closest to his back. I determine that they had come from an area on the carpeted floor to my left. I become annoyed, as now I have to pull each sandspur from the wolf’s fur. As I do this, I complain to the man that I had not been outside recently, so they could not have come from me.

As a result of my sense of touch increasing exponentially for a few minutes and establishing a higher level of (somatosensory) cortical arousal, my dream processing changes to a scene where I look out at a parking lot setting from a doorway. A few unknown people are walking around, but a man with an unrealistically big head appears and dances about irritatingly. Using a combination of telekinesis and mentally willing more sandspurs into existence, I cover his body with sandspurs from more than ten feet away as I wake.

---

Get the truth about my dream and some of its familiar causal factors here:

My dream’s first scene is a unique but familiar form of a process that occurs at least once every sleep cycle. Often, the first discernible rendering is a result of my instinctual awareness I am dreaming. For example, the wolf is resting on his left side, co-occurrent with my sleeping orientation. The unknown man is to my right, co-occurrent with (in this case, subliminal) environmental monitoring (as my right side is more exposed to my real environment).

Wolves, bears, lions, and most other kinds of animals still occur in my dreams regularly, often as an animal semblance of my reticular activating system as here. However, their nature typically correlates with the ultradian rhythm curve of my sleep cycle. (For example, I had this dream after sunrise, and wolves are nocturnal, and that is how I perceive them.)

Despite my waking-life identity being absent from my dream, there are incidental compartmentalized associations with the coronavirus. (Even so, I have not yet had a dreaming experience with a viable recall of the pandemic. The processing factors of my dreams have not changed at all.) For example, although I have dreamt of cenchrus (sandspurs) before, they have vague visual similarity with the coronavirus. Removing sandspurs from the wolf’s fur also stems from a distortion of Zsuzsanna removing them from one of our cats (a typical synthesized distortion to prevent confusing dream content with waking life).

A parking lot usually only occurs in the last scene of a dream in the last dream of a sleep cycle as liminality begins to increase during the waking transition, and it signifies the status of awareness between dream space and precursory waking space. One association is parked vehicles (the body being motionless in bed). In the real world, a parking lot also represents liminal space.

The man with the big head is a liminal association with a YouTube video I saw yesterday, supposedly featuring a caricature of UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson in bed with the virus (with doctors and nurses dancing around) even though it was part of the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony. The character is “out of bed” in my dream as signifying me getting out of bed after waking.

---

Ultimately, despite my dreams likely seeming surreal to the average person, they are almost always extraordinarily easy for me to decode and resolve.

---

Morning of May 1, 2020. Friday.

Dream #: 19,492-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min 30 sec.



My dream’s foundation is a result of imaginary somatosensory modulation, but atypical. (I often cup my hand around a vertical bar of the head of our bed for this.) Ordinarily, I summon an egg to increase a dream’s illusory sense of touch (other than in a later rendering of a dream’s timeline when it is more often coins), the reason being that an egg is a perfect size to focus on the area of my palm and the underside of my fingers when I cup my hand. This type of modulation is usually in an indoor setting. However, in this instance, there is a precursory vestibular perception that results in the common sky-watching scenario, though in this case, it is seemingly in the late morning rather than before dawn.

Over time, I see a flying saucer high in the sky. Many other people are around in a mostly featureless field. I focus on creating small rockets to blow up any spaceships.

The exponential increase in my dream’s illusory sense of touch stems from the middle of a small rocket first materializing in my cupped right hand. The top and bottom of the miniature missile telescope from each side, coming into existence with minimal effort in my summoning the feature. It is partially reminiscent of a toy plastic rocket I had as a boy that comes apart in sections.

I mentally cause the missile to ignite and leave my hand to destroy a flying saucer. Even though it is less than a foot long, I have a close view of when it reaches the spacecraft (as if looking through a virtual telescope). I enjoy the explosion (as I usually do in this mode of dreaming).

Over time, as more spaceships appear, I indulge in the same activity, several times, enjoying my pointless entertainment. I experiment with different visualizations and anticipation of the results. At one point, I send my rocket to a feature with the resemblance of a rocket booster (similar to the rectangular aft skirts in some science-fiction movies). From there, the rocket goes inside the middle of the spacecraft to blow it up.

---

I ordinarily only end up doing things like this when I lose interest in sustaining sleep for longer, concerning creating a new dream scenario.

---

Morning of April 21, 2020. Tuesday.

Dream #: 19,482-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



This dream is a typical random summoning type in instinctual mode, not much different as those from early childhood on, though in this one, I atypically abandon the usual vestibular system correlation in the last scene to remain in my dream (though there is no drop anticipation other than a lesser form stemming from my relaxed arm muscles during sleep, when I release the wrenches with liminal somatosensory integration), though, as a result, my dream self’s perceptual mode becomes incorporeal and non-dimensional, resulting in an exponential decrease in vividness, and I meander in slow flight (about four feet above the street) back through the unknown neighborhood, considering if I should reset my dream and start the narrative again or wake. I decide to wake.

The main scene relates to using telekinesis to rapidly summon items into my hand to augment my dream’s imaginary somatosensory dynamics. I do this in an unfamiliar office building with one large room. I mostly summon random items, primarily wrenches of different sizes, an association with adjusting sleep-wake management.

I have an association with gold coins to augment the process. However, as an incidental influence from having seen “Outer Banks” recently, a small gold bar (about the same size as in the Netflix series) quickly jumps into my hand from underneath papers strewn on a desk. I maintain a cheerful disposition. Other people are walking around but I do not interact with them. The sleep-wake manager, as an unknown male, enters my dream’s narrative as a result of a lesser association with the imaginary proprioception of dreaming. (A car is an extension of this, correlating with the imaginary physical body and its dynamics while dreaming.)

I get into a car with him driving and my dream vivifies, with an increase in imaginary proprioception. I sit in the front while others sit in the back. It is assumed to be occurring in America, as the driver’s side is on the left. We travel through an unfamiliar neighborhood and I have no destination in mind (and not much of my waking-life identity is extant). After a time, I instinctually play around with the process. I give the sleep-wake manager the wrenches I had summoned. (I often hold a vertical bar of the bed’s head while sleeping, which increases the somatosensory dynamics of the dream state.) However, they fall through a narrow space between the front seats. I give him my gold bar.

I phase from the car, losing my sense of imaginary proprioception and defined illusory physicality as I remain in my dream in incorporeal non-dimensional flight for a few minutes as described earlier. There are variations of the process. I sometimes phase through the roof of a vehicle, though I phased through the door in this instance. Phasing from the roof to fly is more likely to vivify a dream, though in one recent dream, I stayed on a bus as it dropped a full story to a perpendicular street below, vivifying and sustaining my dream for several minutes.

---

Morning of April 18, 2020. Saturday.

Dream #: 19,479-03. Reading time (optimized): 2 min 15 sec.



My imagined dream self becomes instinctually aware of my dream beginning, including a viable thread of waking-life identity. As a result, the first rendering is a female form close to my left, modeling the sleeping orientation of Zsuzsanna and me, though she remains standing while I remain seated in a cross-legged position. She is a short distance closer to the wayside of an unknown road than I am. It seems to be nighttime. On the other side of the road, off to the right, is an unfamiliar business building. Feelings of cheerfulness and peace remain throughout my dream. (The eventual sleep-wake personification, firstly as an association with imaginary proprioception, is not intrusive other than wanting me to move from the side of the road to return to slow-wave sleep).

Instinctual dynamics of dream state management begin. On my lap is an open sheet music book, though the sheet music displayed is unknown. Upon that is a tablet with another one atop it. The first features equidistant thumbnails from a web site, mostly of random people, and the second displays a blank screen. Atop the tablets is an open A4 spiral notebook with my handwriting describing dream content as well as equations.

The inference is that I am solving equations using the sheet music book (mainly the arrangement of notes) and the web page thumbnails, which supposedly link to the content of previous dreams and six-digit numbers that serve as markers. The first calculation produces an image of the ocean on the previously blank screen, though it is a small strip, oriented lengthways near the top of the screen.

The second calculation results in an additional lengthways photograph of the ocean, and I am fascinated when it matches perfectly with the first when adjacent to the right side of the previous image. Although the image never moves, there is still the fundamental liminal impression that it defines my status of being asleep and the absence of physical demarcation. I start to consider what will happen when the strips fill the entire top of the screen. They will probably continue to a new row. This identification and anticipation results in the summoning of imaginary proprioception and latent physical preparedness (which usually begins around this part of a dream’s timeline, though here, there is no anticipation of vestibular system ambiguity from the lack of discernment of physicality while sleeping).

The sleep-wake personification initiates from my right. An unknown man drives a Ford Model T Convertible into the area on the other side of the road. (Cars, as with all vehicles, typically correlate with the imaginary physicality of the dream state or preparation for wakefulness with emerging physical awareness and mobility potential.) He cheerfully calls out, implying I am blocking his way even though I am not on the road. (This scenario is also co-occurrent with how I am sleeping close to Zsuzsanna, as the other man is a preconscious personification of my potential consciousness and emerging physical awareness. This same causal factor has occurred in many previous dreams.)

I move back a short distance, but the man parks his car near the business building and walks over to my side of the road. He looks at the items in my lap and seems curious about what I am doing.

I absentmindedly state, “I’m doing sequences of fractals.”

“I can’t even do one,” he says happily, emphasizing “one.”

---

Morning of April 5, 2020. Sunday.

Dream #: 19,466-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



This dream is a typical somatosensory-based summoning dream. My waking-life identity is only partially extant (as I am vaguely aware of Zsuzsanna being nearby) but becomes more emergent with the final event. I remain on the porch of the Loomis Street house. (A porch is the result of precursory liminality defining the transition from dream state awareness to the beginning of the waking process.) Generally, I summon eggs from the palm of my hand (trying to force imaginary somatosensory dynamics to vivify my dreaming experience and its tactile illusions) at the beginning of a dream. In contrast, I sometimes focus on summoning coins near the end of a dreaming experience (or the end of my sleep cycle) as they correlate with cognizance (numbers and counting). Despite this being a lifelong lucid practice, it also occurs with precursory liminality as here.

I vividly feel two eggs come into existence in my cupped right hand, but they soon crack apart, and I see a green yolk (influence from “Green Eggs and Ham”), finding it amusing. I summon more eggs. There is a purple one and another with a blue yolk. I am eventually aware that my brother-in-law Bob is nearby.

At one point, I notice a beautiful bas-relief overhead. It is over a quarter of a sphere. I reach up to touch it. It is the artistic rendering of a puppy (with some other details such as a leafy scroll), and I erroneously associate it with the Rose Street inn. (I use to live above it until 1967 but get it confused with the Loomis Street house in this dream.)

Through a porch window, to the north, I notice the house that was on the corner is not there. Instead, there is a lot of digging (and I see at least one bulldozer) going on near a couple of piles of dirt. I talk about this with others. Also, over the sidewalk, there are two upright doorways (about six feet apart) with no door. (This “portal” feature is a traditional dream state exit point, more common in childhood dreams. The digging would be an association with having emerged from slow-wave sleep, especially as I presently live in a corner house though I do not recall where I live in my dream.)

My sister-in-law Cindy is in the last scene. I summon a miniature balloon poodle that grows to full size. Other balloon animals arise from out of nowhere (growing over time), including an elephant. The last two balloons arise. One is an orange giraffe. The other is a yellow life-size representation of my middle son (yet I vaguely consider it is Bart Simpson at first). He is facing away from me, towards Cindy. I begin to wake as I tell her who he is.

---

This dream’s typical compartmentalized false memories are quite ambiguous. (For example, despite not remembering Bob and Cindy had died or what country I live in, I still recall my middle son, though he is nothing like Bart Simpson’s fictitious persona.)

---

Morning of April 5, 2020. Sunday.

Dream #: 19,466-05. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



Halfway into my sleep cycle, the Naiad factor emerges again (the process occurring similarly through most sleep cycles for over 50 years), though not with lucidity or even liminality. It becomes part of an ambiguous, surreal situation that mediates cognizance out of what would otherwise be water reinduction (virtual melatonin mediation that water dynamics represent). Such a dream (and its familiar ultradian rhythm curve) would only occur near the middle of my sleep cycle. It transitions into me dominating the precursory preconscious mechanism, in a typical farcical play. The personifications of this process are two unknown young males rather than Naiads.

The setting has the typical indoor-outdoor ambiguity. There are three rock pools about ten feet apart, with the inference of an outdoor park but inside a bigger version of the Loomis Street house (irrelevant since 1994). I watch unrealistically tiny fish swim around (typical for this type of ultradian rhythm curve). Despite being in a false version of the Loomis Street house, synaptic gating temporarily allows me to recall Zsuzsanna (though not any recall of Australia).

Other than a focus on typical water lowering dynamics (less virtual melatonin), some reinduction dynamics emerge. The process correlates with a backstory that the city council declares that the water is “acidic” (perceived as less than seven hours of sleep having passed). As a result, the mediation factor shifts my dreaming experience. I am now near a couch (instinctual awareness of being asleep). Water rises to the seat of the couch, though only inside it. Water also rises to the highest level of the rock pools. I know the city council is doing this.

A pipe connects to each arm of the couch (though I never see one) and under the floor to the rock pools. The rising water stops slightly above the couch seat. I suddenly falsely remember that my comic books are inside the couch’s storage area. I lift the seat, and there are three stacks of comic books spanning the full width (which would incorrectly imply it has a very short width). I feel the wetness at the top of the first stack only, taking all three stacks and placing them in another part of the room, which is now the Cubitis living room (irrelevant since 1978).

Even though my comic books are mostly dry and okay, the scene shifts where I shout humorously (without anger) at two unknown young men who remain passive and lean back against a wall. (Indoor-outdoor ambiguity becomes an attribute again, and even though I am in a house, a landscape is visible beyond.) I tell them they ruined “hundreds of dollar’s worth of comic books.”

---

The communication (including “hundreds of dollars” as a thread of cognitive arousal, as it involves the perception of numbers) correlates with the typical mechanism of melatonin increase suppressing wakefulness, that is, the ability to read as represented by the comic books being in water within a dream signification as the couch. These same factors unfolded in hundreds of previous dreams in unique ways.)

---

Morning of March 27, 2020. Friday.

Dream #: 19,457-02. Reading time: 2 min 24 sec.



In this dream, part of my immediate waking-life identity meanders. Although I recall factors of real life (mostly only that I have a family, not where I live as is often the case) in the second section after the preconscious initiation (a typical unknown intrusive male), the setting remains ambiguous.

The preconscious personification (sleep-wake mediator) activates atypically in the middle of my sleep cycle. I am near the center of a large, mostly featureless room with many other people. When cognitive arousal initiates, I have a pile of books next to me on my right (potential waking orientation as I sleep on my left side) as I sit on the floor. The man comes over to me, claiming I have a book I am not supposed to have, due to copyright reasons. It is a blank sheet music book for writing music. The publisher’s name is Fabergé. I argue with him for a few minutes, saying his claim is ridiculous because it is just a blank sheet music book (so I am denying cognizance while sleeping as well as ignoring the preconscious). I soon see him sitting with an unknown man.

As a result of suppressing cognizance modulation to sleep longer, water reinduction (virtual melatonin mediation) occurs. I am in the small upstairs bathroom of the King Street mansion (irrelevant since the 1990s) in Wisconsin, though it is erroneously on the first floor and has a crawlspace beneath. I take a dream journal (from the late 1990s) from being tied with a cloth to a horizontal pipe near the baseboard and water sprays out. I am unsure how to stop the leak, as I do not want my book to get wet. Water is rushing under the floor, so I have to go outside to check. I consider calling our landlord. (I think of our present landlord in Australia, validating my dream initiated a thread for the emergence of partial recall, though the real-life leak was under Zsuzsanna’s sister’s house recently.)

I now recall I have a family, though the setting is still wrong. When I go outside to check the leak, I am looking at a variation of the Cubitis house in Florida (irrelevant since 1978, so setting changes are not always in chronological order as water reinduction is opposite to the directive of emergence). The nature and layout of the scene have changed, and the leak is far from where the original orientation would correlate. There are two leaks from a long horizontal pipe unrealistically situated outside, about two feet from the ground and a few feet from the front of the other part of the house, though coming from the south wall of my Cubitis bedroom, implying its location has replaced the small King Street bathroom (typical errors in dream continuity as the Cubitis house had no crawlspace and the King Street house’s bathroom, again, was on the second floor). However, the leaks soon stop due to a bubble growing around the connections, keeping the water inside. Eventually, two big irregular bubbles shaped somewhat like hourglasses (temporality reference implying water reinduction is ending), float up from the pipes. I no longer see any leaks.

Precursory cognizance kicks in again with the general reference to the condition of the sun (analogous to the lack of true identity and cognizance in the dream state). Zsuzsanna is with me outside. We are still erroneously in Cubitis, in the front yard. I see that the “sun” looks like Earth floating within a frying egg, though its lower right area is spreading out in an irregular form as if the egg is runny.

---

Morning of March 24, 2020. Tuesday.

Dream #: 19,454-02. Reading time: 2 min 40 sec.



Surreal distortions and unique false memory constructs integrate with the routine dreaming processes in the standard order, with mostly a passive narrative (predictable preconscious eluding) with typical virtual amnesia. My waking-life identity meanders in and out in this exceptionally long dreaming experience. Instinctual summoning is a factor, but it never emerges into full lucidity, only liminality in the last scene.

In the first scene, I am at the false location of La Crosse at the Loomis Street house. The house to its right (also on Loomis Street) when viewed from the street, is fictitiously inhabited by Earl (half-brother on my mother’s side; deceased). Bob (brother-in-law; recently deceased) is present in his house. (I have no recall of their deaths.)

I walk several blocks south of Loomis Street (on Sill Street) when I become annoyed at two homeless men walking around in (and possibly living in) my dumpster (that is otherwise mostly empty). At this point, I am aware of Zsuzsanna being to my left. Unknown people are with us. I tell the homeless men to leave, but one of them pushes a big concrete slab against the door, so it cannot be opened (even though dumpsters do not have entry doors like this in real life). I become angrier and tell them that there are shelters for homeless people. They do not seem to want to listen to me as I repeat myself several times.

Wall mediation (second stage) becomes viable with a chain-link fence defining the division between dream space and potential liminality (with similar processing dynamics as “An Unexpected Late Night Visit” from March 17). The homeless men are now in someone’s front yard on the other side of the fence. I summon a gun and shoot one of them. He somehow becomes embedded in the fence. I shoot at the other male, but the bullet gets stuck in the fence and does not reach him. (In the March 17 dream, I was in our present home with a sleep-wake mediator outside of our fence. Earlier, I deliberately hung a scarecrow on the fence. Also, I threatened to use a gun but did not.)

Processing dynamics and instinctual elements meander, and as a result, I suddenly consider I may have committed a crime. I walk briskly with Zsuzsanna and the unknown people east down Sill Street to be out of sight in case the police arrive. I had left the gun behind and suddenly consider my fingerprints might have been on it. I return to the invalid construct of the houses on Loomis Street. Even though Bob and Earl are still standing around, the houses are missing. Only sunken foundations are left. I decide to run to the King Street mansion with the expectation of a portal in the middle room on the east side (second floor). My waking-life identity is gone again.

After going through the portal in the big closet nearest the entry door, I am technically in the same world but phased to be invisible and intangible. I walk past police who are talking to the King Street landlady. They ask her about my whereabouts and in what organizations I had been. I fly and phase through buildings, going north.

Instinct triggers typical subliminal awareness of being in bed. I find myself on the side of a mountain with an unknown female (probably Zsuzsanna in my absent waking-life identity). I am under a blanket with her as she sleeps. She rolls over and seems to see me, and I am somewhat surprised. “Oh, you can see me?” I ask.

---

In a vivid offset dream, I am high above an unknown city. Instead of flying, I leap about ten feet from one ledge to another (along its length) and kick over small stacks of books that are in my way so that most fall from the narrow walkway. There does not seem to be enough imaginary proprioception or emerging physical awareness to trigger a myoclonic jerk as otherwise near the beginning of every sleep cycle.

---

Morning of March 17, 2020. Tuesday.

Dream #: 19,447-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min.



Dream sequence 1 is predictable sleep-wake mediation of emerging liminality stemming from my instinctual recognition that dream state physicality is not real. An imaginary fence defines my skewed perception of potential liminality as a virtual barrier between sleep and consciousness.

In this instance of the usual process, my dream incorrectly establishes that it is Halloween (an incidental association with the false identity of the dream state). Another error (to stop waking-life agreement) is that the fence on the west side of our house is not a solid wall. The events occur late at night.

At this point, precursory liminality allows for my recall of Zsuzsanna (though the recall we have children initiates later in my dream). Additionally, as a result of the dynamics of this process, I have a viable recall of where I live in waking life (rather than the usual false setting). I am setting up a scarecrow, using some of my clothes, as a Halloween decoration. It is on the inside of our fence near the northwest corner. It is my instinctual analogy of validating my dream state physicality as false but still as a precursor to potential physical discernment. (A scarecrow has occurred as this signification in previous dreams, though statues and dolls are more common.)

Dream sequence 2 is further activation of the foundational process as previously described and explained. It stems from physicality becoming a more emergent factor but also inclusive of disguised recall that I have a young daughter. As a result, an unfamiliar black girl (of about seven years of age) stands to the left of the outside of our front gate (from our porch’s viewpoint) where the mailbox is in reality (though it is not present in my dream). (Being near the mailbox location, despite its erroneous absence, is a factor of sleep-wake communication or, assuming enigmatic space is overlapping into my dream space, transpersonal communication, probably from our daughter.) She aggressively shakes the vertical bars of the fence, making an incredible racket. I tell her to stop, but she continues.

“I’m going to get my gun,” I say through our open front door, though I am not serious. I want the unknown child to go away even though her presence is the result of deliberate summoning to vivify my dream, which it does, exponentially. (A gun is typically the result of the fictitious dream self attempting to maintain an illusion in contrast to the reticular activating system initiating, which is otherwise the natural progression of sleep-wake transitioning.) The child does not leave. I turn left to ask Zsuzsanna where the gun is. (Zsuzsanna sleeps on my left.) I have the false recall that I own a gun and that it might be on the DVD player (association with imagination, correlating with watching movies). The girl eventually leaves but comes back with her father.

Dream sequence 3 establishes that emerging liminality changes the direction of my dream. The girl and her father are in our lounge room. At first, I see it as an intrusion. My dreaming status resets and loops with different events five times. In the third loop, there are about five members of the girl’s family entering our home, including her mother and an older sister. I am puzzled and ask them how they are doing this. One of them points at the outside of our front door, and I see that there is a silver key in the door’s barrel lock. Still, at this point, my dream has reset again, and the family is only now arriving on our porch.

Suddenly, I recall that I have a young daughter (which eventually unlocks recall I have additional children). I think she might like to meet the unknown girl. I no longer see the people as intruders even though I did not ask them in. I look around, but I cannot find her. I ask family members where she is.

Dream sequence 4 is the fourth form of liminality mediation when the unnamed man sits down on our couch to watch television. I notice that, as he is sitting down, a much older man than him on the television screen is sitting down, mirroring his actions, though he has a white beard while the man in our lounge room has no beard. I find this amusing, but I do not comment on it.

---

The man on television, with his short white beard, correlates with my waking-life identity, triggering my waking.

---

Overall, this is the same preconscious template as in thousands of previous dreams.

---

Morning of March 13, 2020. Friday.

Dream #: 19,443-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



In this dream, American actor Vic Tayback (as Mel from the television sitcom “Alice,” which I have not seen in over 20 years) randomly serves as the typical sleep-wake mediator (personified preconscious) without much focus on his identity. Instinctual awareness (and control) of the nature of dreaming processes for the usual transitions is viably willful, though there is no lucidity. My dream was influenced by “The Truth About Spring” (1965) though only in the association with sailing and nothing else. (Zsuzsanna and I watched this movie before bedtime.) Despite this influence, my waking-life identity is absent, and the setting is a variation of the King Street area in Wisconsin though incorrectly integrated with docks near the ocean so that the streets are instead water channels.

Vic is the captain of a sailboat. Several unfamiliar people are present to where there is not much room to stand. The boat’s mooring is at the foot of the stairs. It is a wooden staircase (fictitious feature) of about six steps outside in front of the King Street mansion. I carry a small cylindrical container with one of Vic’s front teeth in it (the reason unknown). There is a cabin, but it seems too small for anyone to use.

I throw two pillows onto the deck (instinctual awareness I am sleeping), but I go into the house, as I believe the boat’s large square sail is in my room upstairs, in this case, the middle room of the east side of the house. Although my act of walking upstairs does not seem to occur (as it is more like teleportation in this instance), the timing still initiates vivid imaginary proprioception. The sail is in an irregular heap on the floor of my room. I carefully fold it in half as a strong wind moves it about with vivid somatosensory dynamics. My activity seems to last for several minutes and is the most vivid part (as imaginary proprioception usually is). I enjoy the challenge, and after I fold it in half, I fold it again to where the bundle is now only about four feet in length.

With minor cognitive arousal, I also have a few paperback books to take to the boat. When I step near the wooden staircase outside, a surreal distortion occurs. The water level near the middle of the steps is somehow about two feet above where the water’s surface near the sailboat is. The impossible dynamics confuse me for a short time. I anticipate the sailboat will move away, and it does. However, after turning at the intersection and moving adjacent to a small maze of piers, it returns (as a result of my instinctual summoning) to where it was, and I step aboard. I wake before anything else occurs.

---

The most interesting factor is my carrying the imaginary “voice” (tooth in the cylindrical container) of the sleep-wake mediator, who is mostly not active in this dream, dominant or otherwise, giving me greater instinctual control of most of the dreaming processes.

---

Morning of December 27, 2019. Friday.

Dream #: 19,366-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



As a consequence of the typical synaptic gating of sleep that results in loss of wakefulness and memory, my dream self loses current waking-life identity, my most active but fictitiously altered recall (preconscious mediation) stemming from around 1985. I seem to be about twenty-five years old instead of fifty-nine. I remember the King Street mansion, but nothing yet outside of that factor, not even parents, relatives, or current family, and nothing pertinent about my life over the past thirty years.

I am in an unfamiliar mansion owned by a wealthy family. I sense their house is about two blocks west of the King Street mansion. There are the man and his wife, their dark-haired young daughter, and a male servant living here. I marvel at the setting with its beautiful curtains and antique furniture.

I will be living with this family as a result of my adoption even though my dream renders me as a young adult.

Several well-known sleep-wake mediation factors occur. I am sitting on the rich man’s canopy bed in the late morning (with no one else around until moments later), and notice a small shiny gold toolbox on a table to the left of the bed. It is unlocked. As well as other valuable possessions, including a diary, there are several smooth white stones with parts of pictorial maps (in color) printed on their surfaces.

The man (this dream’s main preconscious personification) walks in but does not seem angry about my invasion of his privacy. He sits on the bed and mentions how rare the stones are.

His daughter (this dream’s vestibular system avatar) comes in and sits on the bed. The woman comes into the room but remains standing. The girl’s black cat jumps on the bed, and the woman refers to him as “Skywalker.”

---

Sleep-wake mediation factors:

Bed: Instinctual (though a frequent liminality forerunner as here) awareness of being asleep.

Toolbox: Opening the toolbox (similar to using a door to either wake or vivify and sustain a dream) signifies synaptic gating and achieving consciousness. My dreaming experience significantly vivifies at this point. The mapping stones represent finding the way back to wakefulness as the part of the mind that organizes information initiates.

Gold: This color only dominates a dream as a precursor to achieving wakefulness.

Cat: Liminality forerunner (a summoning factor by habit since childhood). Cats always “land on their feet” (successfully mediate the anticipated “drop” into wakefulness).

The girl: Somatosensory and proprioception personifications (and the resolving of physical ambiguity as my dream self’s body is fictitious in form and orientation) are typically female (as an instinctually summoned avatar). An important factor is the girl’s cat named “Skywalker.” It stems from liminal drop anticipation and the imaginary proprioception of the dream state and is flight-related.

The woman, who is the only one standing in the last scene, is an incentive for me to wake and get up, as I begin to see her as Zsuzsanna as my (upper preconscious) reticular activating system’s waking alert factor initiates.

---

Morning of December 19, 2019. Thursday.

Dream #: 19,358-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



My dream results in reticular activating system sleep-wake mediation in a literal sense in this experience. Although I am in a bed, it is in a spacious unfamiliar business office. I am not tired or sleepy and had (in real life) gone to sleep earlier than usual.

The first sleep-wake mediation personification is an unfamiliar woman, about sixty years old, sitting at a desk to my right. (The process typically begins on my right, the side more exposed to environmental sounds as I sleep.) Her desk is a few feet from my bed and facing me. Over time, I become slightly puzzled by the situation, but my dream self does not register it as illogical or intrusive. Still, I instinctually initiate wall mediation by using clothespins to put up curtains between my bed and her desk. At first, one of my curtains falls on her, and she complains. Eventually, she puts up curtains as well, and there is a space of about three feet between my curtains and hers.

My waking-life identity is now more emergent (as it typically is as a result of wall mediation, which brings my dream self closer to liminality) and I realize that Zsuzsanna is sleeping in a canoe on the other side of the room to my left (as she sleeps on my left in reality, and most dreams render this factor correctly). I think I should be with her even though there may not be much space. (Despite the instinctual association with dream state reinduction with the canoe, there is no presence of water or wetness in this experience.)

I go over and get into the canoe. Another canoe is upside-down over the top of the first. I enjoy being with Zsuzsanna, and although there is an increase in my perception of imaginary physicality, there is no discomfort in the restricted space. (We are in the correct orientation, though our heads are in the opposite direction as mine was at the beginning of my dream.)

Later, an unfamiliar teenage boy gets into the canoe. After a short time, the secretary (still on the other side of the room), calls someone to come and get him. He is supposedly a juvenile delinquent, but I had not seen him as threatening.

Zsuzsanna and I are soon standing in the room. There is a sense of peace. I watch her go to the door that opens to outside. An unknown man, only in shadow, remaining in the doorway, calls her by the wrong name (Laura), but she responds with unknown information of some kind. (Wrong names occur in my dreams to signify how the dream self is not a viable model of waking-life; obvious, as my dreams never render valid memories.)

---

The use of a virtual door into or out of the dream state in sleep-wake mediation is common, and this is mediated by cortical arousal personification by way of preconscious simulacra and the reticular activating system. However, Zsuzsanna responding to this process rather than my dream self is intriguing.

---

Morning of December 10, 2019. Tuesday.

Dream #: 19,349-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min.



My mother and I were to get off the bus in Northside La Crosse in the afternoon. There is a distraction, and we remain en route to Southside La Crosse. My mother is annoyed (though this is illogical, as she seems more aware than I am in this dream and should have been aware of an upcoming bus stop).

My non-lucid dream has robbed me of my identity, which is typical. There is no recall of my mother dying in 2002 and no recall of any factor in my life since the 1980s, and yet my dream self feels perhaps 40 years old. Ultimately, this is not deliberate in a specific sense, but a result of incidental synaptic gating. However, synaptic gating works in a way to avoid a valid waking-life recall until the final gating factor with full consciousness. My non-lucid dreams are also the opposite of waking-life correlation (unless prescient or transpersonal). The trip from Northside La Crosse to Southside La Crosse would be typical in real life, as we already lived in Northside La Crosse, so my dream’s situation is ridiculous, that is, the direct opposite of the truth.

My dream’s induction is all about imaginary proprioception. When I try to get off the bus from its right, even though other passengers get off (including my mother), I only see a small opening, about two-thirds the size needed. This event is the wall mediation factor (that occurs throughout every sleep cycle). It indicates that I cannot move my physical body as I sleep (and although my waking orientation is usually to the right as I sleep on my left side, there is an additional factor here, explained later). I complain to the driver that I cannot get off the bus (either move my real body or yet correlate my imaginary dream body with my dream self’s perception). Another opening appears to the left of the first, about where real bus doors would be in America. It is more like a door, but irregular, still not big enough for me to get off the bus. I become slightly more dream-cognizant and teleport to where my mother is standing, near a group of people. We are at the post office (potential for enigmatic space or liminal space communication).

I start complaining about having lost my bag of books (cognitive arousal). I consider someone else might have taken them. My mother informs me that they are near where she is standing. Although I pick them up, this focus vanishes in the next scene.

We have to go back to Northside La Crosse, our original destination. I decide to go in a particular direction (that is fictitious). I instinctually summon water reinduction (virtual melatonin mediation). A beautiful river is on our right as we walk along a narrow road as my dream vivifies. We reach an area where we need to go up a slope. (This feature stems from the summoning of imaginary proprioception and vestibular system correlation that occurs in all longer dreams at one point or another, though I often use a staircase.) My dreaming experience vivifies again, just on the threshold of lucidity. However, I consider my mother will not be able to ascend the slope, so my cognizance (and imaginary physicality) decreases.

We somehow end up back near the La Crosse post office. A bus goes by, stopping briefly at an intersection (RAS autosymbolism of synaptic gating). This time, the doors are on the left and appear correct (big enough to get on and off the bus). I call out to my mother, “This is how buses should be.” (Why did I say this? Because with the synaptic gating event, I attain a subliminal recall that only buses in Australia look like this. However, I am still not aware of my true identity or the recall I live in Australia in real life.)

In the final scene, my mother boards a bus, saying it is the one we should take (back to Northside La Crosse), though I have my doubts. When we are on the bus, all I see are male and female students (all wearing the same uniforms as in an Australian school) from about sixth to eighth grades. I am uncertain if this is where we should be. This final synaptic gating event implies increasing cognizance (students going to school). Even though the students are Australian, I am not conscious until the last process. In hot weather, achieving consciousness (from the dream state) is more sluggish, validated by neuroscience.

---

Morning of December 9, 2019. Monday.

Dream #: 19,348-02. Reading time: 3 min 20 sec.



Sleep-wake mediation begins with the typical activation of the preconscious simulacrum (reticular activating system personification) as intrusive to make my dream state less inviting and sustainable. My identity is extant to a partial degree, as I recall Zsuzsanna and our family, but our home is fictitious. The preconscious simulacrum is an unfamiliar woman who is staying with us and is supposedly Zsuzsanna’s friend. She has a young daughter and son. At one point, it is late at night, and I cannot rest or focus because she and her children are making noise (with the attempt to pull me out of the dream state), so I tell them to get out. There is increased neuron energy in my annoyance, which vivifies my dream, but this does not wake me. Even so, a wall opens up, though it leads more inward into the dream state by my intent, and I see everyone else walking out into a forest. It is still night.

I walk into the forest, finding it a pleasurable setting. The woman and her two children have gone behind some dense shrubbery. The vague awareness my dream is becoming a bathroom wake-up call remains in the background. The preconscious becomes an animal semblance. A bear is in the woods, so I decide to turn around and find shelter. Ambiguity becomes a factor, and the house no longer exists, but there is still a bathroom left. I go in. The bear follows me, but I close the door. At times, I can see its claws slide in and out under the door. I hold the door closed, my strength keeping the bear from coming in. Wall mediation vivifies my dream and increases awareness of my identity. Imaginary physicality and momentum become more realistic.

I try to sustain my dream despite my need to wake. I fill my hands with water from the running faucet of the bathtub on my right. The tangibility of the water is amazingly realistic, and I can feel its heat (cortical arousal overriding virtual melatonin mediation). I think the bear might be annoyed by the hot water, so I continue to fling it under the door. The bear seems annoyed but does not leave. The dynamics of cortical arousal integrate more with the situation, and guns appear. I suddenly have a Beretta in my right hand, and there are now weapons and several rounds of ammunition on the other side of the door. I shoot the pistol under the door at a rocket launcher. My act implies ambiguous intent as I typically use fire to wake myself. The house exists again. The missile curves, but its trajectory remains adjacent to the outer walls of the house. With x-ray vision, I see its flames. I also hear a loud sizzling. I am amused. I anticipate it will explode near the front of the house. I sense my thoughts creating the dream content, but release the dynamics of cortical arousal so that I remain in the dream state. As a result, the rocket does not explode.

I make one more attempt to reset my dream. I open the door, and the bear becomes smaller, backs away, and falls into a pothole filled with water. Only its head is visible. The house is gone again, and it is if I am looking at a street. Even so, I turn to go into the forest, and the house appears again.

Sleep-wake mediation continues, and my dream’s potential exit point renders as a store’s checkout (which is common). Zsuzsanna is here. The preconscious personification is here with her two children, except they are now both boys. I make one more attempt to remain in the dream state. I walk back to the beginning of the checkout and pick up a magazine (cognitive arousal). Liminal awareness that reading is often not viable in the dream state causes the magazine to fly out of my hands and slap against the ceiling, briefly sticking to it (vestibular cortex liminality). Two can play at this game, so I use telekinesis to cause the magazine to fly rapidly all around the checkout area and slap into my hands three times. The preconscious, now a man, looks on with puzzlement, and I finally wake myself by going to the end up the checkout (exit point).

---

Compare this with another recent bathroom wake-up call dream where I was in an underwater bathroom and holding the door against a giant catfish. Another dreaming experience rendered the RAS semblance as a vulture, blocking me from the bathroom in that instance because of vestibular system correlation and drop anticipation (with its association with flying or falling). There was one with the same dynamics with a snake, and one with a lioness as the RAS semblance. Some people might wonder why a different RAS semblance occurs with what is otherwise the same simple process each time. The reason is to prevent a pattern from emerging, which would confuse the dream self into thinking there is wakefulness consistency present.

---