non-lucid

Morning of August 1, 2017. Tuesday.

Dream #: 18,488-02. Reading Time (optimized): 2 min.



I am with several people on an unusual little island at night. I walk around in a paved area. A small canal divides most of the island about one-quarter in from the side opposite of where I stand. There is at least one big brick building that blocks my view of the ocean on my right.

Zsuzsanna and our youngest son are eventually with me. We go over to the canal. I notice that the ocean on the opposite side of the island, which I can now clearly see, has whitecaps (though I do not focus as much on the waves on my left side). An unknown girl talks about it publicly, relaying a concern that makes me consider if the waves could eventually cover the island. The island’s isolation contributes to this concern but not for long.

I look into the depths of the canal and see a shadowy shape that I soon see is a shark of about four feet long. I tell Zsuzsanna and our son to watch, and we cheerfully look into the water. I soon notice other small sharks as well as a little dolphin, which is surprising, as they do not fight. They do not look real and make me think indirectly of CGI. We share amusement in watching these creatures in addition to several tiny fish. The more active area of the ocean remains off to my right, behind the big building, but some of it is still visible through the end of the canal and surrounding area.

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Zsuzsanna remains on my left, correlating with our sleeping positions. Additionally, this is one of many dreams that lack definition or attention to my left in contrast to a clear focus to my right, which is subliminal wakefulness anticipation (as I sleep on my left side, my right more exposed to my environment correlating in the dream state with its concurrent monitoring).

For over 50 years, water has been a consistent factor of natural melatonin mediation and ultradian and circadian rhythm in correlation with my sleep cycle. The unknown girl is a subliminal reminder of the Naiad factor from high-level dream state induction, though here has transitioned to the RAS (reticular activating system) mediation stage. She is “warning” me about the high waves, a warning about not sleeping too long, the island being the dream state.

I was aware that I was at least partly responsible for creating the ocean creatures, but with no dream state realization. The eradication of the unintelligent hype equating lucid dreaming with dream control is necessary to understand the processes and dynamics of awareness in all modes of dream space. The ambiguity of whether they should be sharks or dolphins (with both appearing without incident) reflects the dual nature of RAS mediation and simulacra transitions, from REM and non-REM sleep induction to consciousness reinitiation.

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Zsuzsanna had a dream with the same content in the same period, including the CGI association with ocean creatures. It happens regularly, with too much matching detail to be coincidental.

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Morning of July 29, 2017. Saturday.



[I am within my dream state, unaware of being asleep, yet with most of my conscious self identity extant. Still, towards the higher end of REM, my neural energies begin to grow. I associate them with plants, just as nerve roots seem analogous to the roots of plants. The play on “garden bed” also seems present.]

My wife Zsuzsanna remains to my left as I explore an area of our garden that I had somehow not been aware of until this moment. There are two rows of unknown plants, about nine clusters in each row, that are about two feet in height at the most. Over time, Zsuzsanna tells me about the flowers on them after I first assume them to be some sort of vegetable.

[My wife is also to my left as we sleep. The patterns of my neural energies are not consistent within the dream state. This is the biological nature of sleeping and dreaming. Some newly activate and grow symbolically like a plant; symbolism of which I validated in the 1980s; some cease to be viable.]

Around the area of where the fifth group of plants are in the row on my side from my left, I notice a few clusters that are wilted and almost horizontal to the ground, leaning to the right. I feel annoyed and I consider that the seeds had been too close together when sprouting.

[Critical thinking skills are mainly nonexistent in the dream state. Such neural patterns would bring too much clarity to remain in the dream state. Still - I consider a different way that my neural patterns could be more viable in analogy. The vague oscillations of neural energy that I become aware of manifest as Christmas beetles that the plants are actually growing from within the flowers, insects being a more tangible form of a specific pattern of consciousness than water, yet closer to neural energies that would initiate waking. I do not think it strange that a Christmas bell plant would grow a Christmas beetle, or more specifically, one from each stamen. Each stamen symbolizes each dendrite in my physical mind in real time.]

I see Christmas beetles emerging from the downwardly oriented flowers, these beetles having directly grown from the plants. There are eventually more and more of them. I have no sense of wariness or unpleasantness. In fact, I think I might like to keep them because of their beauty.

[My dream self teleports and is now within our house mostly as it is now, though with minor variations in size and layout. I do not immediately realize that having so many Christmas beetles in the house might prove to be problematic. Too many neural energies brought deeper into the residence of my dream would expand into the waking stage.]

At first, I enjoy having all these Christmas beetles in the house as I watch them in our kitchen and lounge room. However, something in the back of my mind makes me realize that it is not so good an idea. For one thing, they start to buzz, yet the real issue relates to their ability to crawl into anything and everything and spread into various possessions. This is something that I start to consider is not really what I want.

[I have decided that I do not want all of these neural energies within this level of consciousness as it will surely bring about the ascent into whole consciousness if I keep them inside. I consider gathering them up and putting them outside. My dream fades fairly quickly.]

My wife Zsuzsanna, in real life, not that long after my dream, brings attention to some Christmas bell plants I had no idea about. There was no prompt from me, and no way of knowing what had been on her mind previously. This follows the general rule that at least one dream per sleep cycle renders material from her essence and her mind.

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Morning of July 29, 2017. Saturday.



I am in an unfamiliar house but which eventually takes on at least one feature of our present home in reality; the back porch. Zsuzsanna seems to be present at times, though the characters change in unlikely ways.

The clearest segment is when Leonard, the friendly pinhead I knew on King Street (who I had not seen since 1990), is seated to my right on a couch and an unknown female (of perhaps about twenty years of age) is sitting to my left. It seems the female may be looking after Leonard, who may be about thirty in this situation. She seems to be referring to him as a “shingle”.

Over time, I notice he is crying, especially as I ask him, “Remember when I used to call you Leonard?” Apparently, people do not usually call him by name.

Eventually, my dream’s characters transform without me paying any attention to the change. The unknown female seems to again be more like Zsuzsanna, yet “Leonard” is now my fictional son. He is possibly about twenty years old (even though he was an older Leonard - who did look like Leonard - just moments before). He does not look anything like Leonard now and he does not resemble any of my sons, either.

My “son” punches the wall at about elbow level. It makes a crack that goes all the way up to the ceiling but the wall is not dented. He then punches the wall higher up, which then does make a deep dent as pieces of the wall fall out, but there is not as much of an upward crack this time.

I yell at him to stop and he moves to punch me in my right shoulder as I lie back onto the couch. I do not feel any pain. I do not really feel like hitting him or yelling again.

Finally, I say, “If you want to hit something, go out and hit the boxing bag”. I motion my right hand towards the back of the house. I soon look out through a (fictional) window and see him boxing. (The punching bag setup is of the same appearance as in reality.)

He comes back in and again sits on my right. I notice that he is having some difficulty with a pair of boxing gloves. I see that he is trying to put on a boxing glove over his right hand though he is already wearing a half finger cycle glove on that hand.

I ask him if he would like to take boxing lessons at a paid venue and he nods and seems happy.

He gets up to leave with the female and I realize or “remember” he is simple-minded. His body is of an unusual shape, somewhat like with an elongated beer belly. (I do not drink beer and I do not know anyone who drinks.) I think about how they might be at risk in a parking lot by not knowing how to react to ordinary people who approach them.

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Reverse engineering my dream in real time:

• My dream self is subliminally aware of being asleep, though there is no viable lucidity. Our bed transmutes into being perceived as a couch by my dream self. Zsuzsanna is still on my left as in reality as we sleep. My viable neural energies decrease and she is an unfamiliar female.
• Leonard appears to my right as a part of potential dream exit symbolism and the preconscious precursor. He is called a “shingle”, which is related to roof symbolism, which relates directly to the level of consciousness between the higher preconscious and the lower emergent consciousness. (There may also be an additional layer that distorts “single” as a play on coalescence waking symbolism.)
• Leonard is now my fictional “son” and no longer looks like Leonard or like any of my sons. In fact, he is my emergent consciousness atypically “trapped” within the preconscious form. This is why he punches the wall, which represents the divisions within levels of consciousness in real time.
• I move back on the couch to subliminally mimic my sleeping position in bed as he hits me on the right shoulder, which is a metaphor for activating the waking prompt (while patting someone on the back near the left shoulder would be a subliminal attempt at reinduction).
• For whatever reason, there is sustained neural activity and I “remember” (though I am still not lucid) that a porch is a common waking transition of liminal space where conflict sometimes occurs to initiate waking (though this is more often with a front porch). Still, it is a rather odd limited thread of increasing awareness, as I still have no knowledge of where I actually live (or much other viable memory yet) other than the boxing bag’s location and appearance.
• I offer to pay for boxing lessons for the preconscious after noticing he is trying to put on boxing gloves yet also already has half finger cycle gloves on, those of which relate to preparatory dream exit symbolism (as a bicycle symbolizes increasing neural energies in real time, associated with the same leg movements as walking up a staircase, which is also related to the emergent consciousness).
• Finally, my dream fades with association with a larger form of liminal space, the parking lot, and I become vaguely aware that these dream characters are not real and so naturally are simple-minded, facing problems in integration with the real world.

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Morning of July 27, 2017. Thursday.



I become aware of being in “my apartment” in the King Street boarding house. (I have not lived there in real life for nearly thirty years.) My bed is on the opposite side of the room as the door.

In actuality, based on the real layout of the King Street boarding house and where I am, “my apartment” in my dream would be the King Street bathroom; the larger bathroom on the west side of the mansion (second floor). Adjacent to the north wall is a composite element, the Cubitis southwest bedroom’s large closet (which in real life was at ground level in a one-storey house).

My dream self has no memory of my current conscious self identity and does not see my location as unusual or mixed up even though it is, as usual, a brand new composite.

I need to use the bathroom. I go over towards the closet and notice one just outside the closet’s left sliding door (but facing the closet). I see that someone else had used it and not flushed. However, I also see that there is soon no water and I lift up the toilet and see there is no pipe or in fact, any sign of plumbing, as if it was just a container to empty elsewhere. This annoys me, as I do not feel like doing this. (I am unsure of where the water went, as there is no sign of a leak anywhere.)

Going into the closet, I see a second toilet, out from the west end. It has also been used by someone else. I consider using it, but then see it is like the first, water lowering but with no plumbing. (In reality, with respect to the mixed-up layout, the King Street toilet would have been in this general location, though both of my dream’s toilets are in incorrect orientation otherwise. The King Street toilet faced south, but the two toilets here face north and east.)

I am aware of an unknown female in the hallway. I am not sure if I should open my door. Still, I do, and she eventually starts to make fun of me for what I had written on a few documents downstairs that are on the chest of drawers in the foyer. These documents are apparently mathematics tests that I had checked and graded recently. I do not have a full understanding of what she is saying, but she does not seem to understand my system of grading or supposedly very clever usage of the language. This “unknown” female is actually my wife Zsuzsanna’s younger half-sister Crystal. However, my dream self does not recognize this fact.

Soon though, I notice my King Street landlady standing just outside my door (and the other female is gone). She is also annoying me by questioning my grading terminology. In particular, she complains about me having written “cooked” on one test I graded. I explain to her that “cooked” is a common word for “finished”, meaning that the test was successfully completed at possibly a hundred percent. I then decide to make fun of her, but I am not sure how. I start to make fun of the word “fantabulous”, but it seems she agrees with me that the word is idiotic and apparently would not use the word either. From here, I wake, having to use the bathroom, with a vague memory of the lyrics to “Wake Up Little Susie“, which I haven’t heard in years.

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This dream contains, intriguingly, six common forms of waking symbolism:

1. Bed recognition waking symbolism (a subliminal awareness that my physical body is in bed and asleep, and as such, is a real-time dream state indicator).
2. Toilet waking symbolism (a biological indicator that I need to wake up and use the bathroom, which is why the toilets in my dream were not usable - and note also that my “bedroom” was in the area where a large bathroom was in real life).
3. Water lowering waking symbolism (a common type of waking symbolism which has several layers of meaning including a biological need to wake and rehydrate).
4. Doorway waking symbolism (the personified preconscious, in this case my landlady from years ago, transmuting into my emergent consciousness due to her beginning to agree with me, is also a type of coalescence waking symbolism, but I only typify it as such when it is a more dominant factor). A doorway typically symbolizes the dream’s exit point, though may also serve as a trigger into lucidity. I first realized this when I was four years old.
5. Alarm clock waking symbolism (subliminal until briefly after hypnopompia).
6. Failed flight waking symbolism (subliminal). As I have already explained hundreds of times since 2004, “failed flight” (and waking symbolism in general) has nothing to do with so-called dream interpretation and is unrelated to real life other than when literally extant (environmental influence) or premonitory (such as my dream of the missing Malaysian flight shortly before it occurred).

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The potential staircase reinduction symbolism remains unused. This is validated by the graded tests being downstairs (deeper into the dream state) and my dream self acknowledging this by saying “finished” (that is, my dream is finishing).

Relevant lines from “Wake Up Little Susie”: “The movie wasn’t so hot, it didn’t have much of a plot” (meaning that my dream was not that involving or interesting); “We fell asleep, our goose is cooked” (failed flight waking symbolism in a very clever “hidden” thread, which has happened many times in the past); “Wake up little Susie”. (Note that my wife goes by Suzi.) The lines “The movie’s over, it’s four o'clock” relate to my dream ending at about four o'clock.

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Morning of July 25, 2017. Tuesday.



I am in an unfamiliar room, though of which may be implied to be of our present home on W Street. There is a miniature two-storey mansion near one wall. Its appearance is unfamiliar. Still, I recognize this dollhouse as a known possession by way of a fictional backstory. It is big for a dollhouse, coming up to about the height of my waist when I am standing, though my viewpoint relevant to its size changes, especially in the last scene of my dream.

I study it for seemingly a long time. I sense the presence of my family but I mainly focus on the rooms of this intriguing miniature house. I also study the outside of it, noting every detail.

The main scene involves looking more closely at the back of the dollhouse as I turn it around, into the rooms on the second floor. There are three windows on the second floor of about the same size. I reach in through a window to turn a light on. The lights in all three rooms come on when I do this. I clearly feel (though cannot see from my position) the miniature light switch as a small bump that I push in the opposite orientation. It seems to be near the top of a flight of stairs.

Eventually, I am aware of an unfamiliar black male to my left. Curiously, I do not see this stranger as an imposer in our home. He seems cheerful. I do not learn his name (or recall it if it was given). He talks a lot, but I cannot discern most of what he is saying. It borders on gibberish, but I do eventually understand some phrases. I know some of it relates to Leonard Bernstein and a certain supposedly rare record album of his.

Looking through the middle window of the dollhouse, I see a small wooden box on the right, its shorter end adjacent to the window. Upon looking closer, I experience joy upon seeing what appear to be a number of copies of “Science Fiction Adventures” arranged vertically and facing the window. (Science Fiction Adventures was an American digest-size science fiction magazine, published from 1952 to 1954 by Science Fiction Publications.) Curiously, they seem to be of normal size (even though this would not be possible to resolve with a conscious viewpoint).

I see the rare record of Leonard Bernstein that the male was talking about. It is in a room on the first floor in the back of the dollhouse, seen through the middle window. Even though it is miniature, it seems it will be of normal size when I give it to him. At this point though, it seems to be (or change into) a thick paperback book. However, he tells me to keep it, as I start to consider that he may be homeless and have no place to keep it or to read or “listen” to it. After trying to get him to accept my gift, he still seems cheerful but declines.

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• While an aquarium (not a feature of this dream but included here for contrast) is a real-time downsized model of the unconscious mind while sleeping, a dollhouse is a real-time downsized model of the conscious mind while sleeping. This is validated by my dream self turning on the three lights (with one switch) in the back of the dollhouse, which symbolizes activating the parietal lobe (somatic sensory association area). This is additionally validated by my augmented sense of touch upon feeling the miniature light switch at this point. Somatic senses are sometimes referred to as somesthetic senses, with the understanding that somesthesis includes the sense of touch, proprioception (sense of position and movement), and (depending on usage) haptic perception. The main difference between a dollhouse and an aquarium is that an aquarium is related more to induction, although typically, less water in an aquarium over time is a transmutation into waking symbolism.
• The supposedly rare Leonard Bernstein record was on the first floor in back of the dollhouse, which would be analogous to the occipital lobe; visual cortex. (PGO waves are a feature of human REM sleep.)
• Additionally, the “Science Fiction Adventures” magazines symbolizes imagination as potentially sourced from within the mind model (as critical thinking skills are only extant when awake).
• This dream’s personified preconscious (the presumably homeless black male) follows the lifelong established rules of this dreaming component. There is no conflict as I have already activated the waking symbolism by turning on the lights (which symbolizes increasing neural activity in real time in the last stage of the waking transition, which also makes my dream more vivid).
• As the lights in the front of the dollhouse on the left of the first floor are not on in most scenes, this may be analogous of the preconscious seemingly speaking gibberish for the most part. (Language processing has been linked to Broca’s area.)
• The miniature light switch is near the top of the stairs (from the first floor); “the top of the stairs” being analogous to the emergent consciousness (a precursor to waking up), as in hundreds of other dreams I have decoded since childhood. (Scott suggests that consciousness “emerges” at the top of a hierarchically ordered nervous system. Scott compares the hierarchy of the nervous system to a flight of stairs or the rungs of a ladder. “Altered Egos: How the Brain Creates the Self”, page 126, sourced from “Stairway to the Mind” by Alwyn Scott.)
• I might assume that the Leonard Bernstein record (though which may be a book in the last scene) is a facet of the transpersonal interconsciousness. The soundwave of a musical recording might be analogous to brainwaves. (By analogy, Leonard Bernstein is a conductor. Different neural activities will produce different brainwave patterns)
• Here is an unexplainable surprise: The personified preconscious in this dream turned out to be of a precognitive thread (This is often the case, but I do not always include it in an online dream journal entry). This “same” black homeless male was across the street from our house later in the day after my dream. (Neither Zsuzsanna nor I approached him.) This is a very rare occurrence and I had never seen him before.

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Morning of July 24, 2017. Monday.



I am firstly not very aware of my dream’s environment (and I do not become lucid at any point). I eventually become aware of being on the outer limits of a dense forest encompassing a small lake or wide stream, seemingly late at night. I am not aware of anyone else in the region yet. I walk around in the semidarkness, uncertain of where I am, though there is no sense of danger. My dream’s setting seems loosely modeled after Mink Slough, where my brother-in-law Bob and I used to fish up until 1990, though never at night.

After a short time, I see a strange event. A car goes flying over the trees away from my viewpoint but eventually falls in another area of the forest.

I enter the forest with uncertainty as to what is going on, but without wariness. I get the impression of my brother-in-law Bob having tossed his car over the trees to get attention, as it seems he was somehow injured while fishing and the flare gun was either too far away for him to reach or he was out of flares.

I find him lying on a blanket on the ground. It appears as if he has been bleeding a lot. It also seems that he may have gotten fish hooks stuck in a few parts of his body, though this detail is not fully discernible.

About five unfamiliar males of about forty years of age emerge from my dream self’s body to offer aid as I remain more at a distance. They approach him. Bob seems somewhat cheerful, but cannot get up. My dream fades from this point as I reason the other males will give him medical attention as well as call an ambulance.

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• Induction form is water induction (most common form as water symbolizes the real-time dynamics of sleeping).
• Dream state symbolism as entering a forest (subliminal reinduction, as it occurs after the implied but precursory waking symbolism of the car in flight).
• Subliminal reinduction resets dream state, no additional waking symbolism, dream is truncated, no emergent consciousness event.
• Biologically premonitory waking symbolism present as an atypical event, partly initiated by subliminal awareness of having more blankets on my body while sleeping.
• Car (symbol of sleeping physical body in this case as it is without a driver) thrown over the forest (very common personal symbol of being in the dream state) as a subliminal annoyance of blanket weight (though it is too cool presently to sleep without them).
• Ambiguous failed flight waking symbolism is present (Bob throwing his car over the trees as analogous to a flare gun and a flare gun would be a potential waking prompt).
• Atypical personified preconscious as uncompleted emergent consciousness precursor, bleeding and lying down in need of aid (rare, though Bob usually appears in this form now).
• Dream state indicator of preconscious lying on ground (analogous to lying in bed) requiring aid (needing to leave the dream state; to coalesce back into whole consciousness).

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Detached threads:

• 1) A human being cannot throw a car through the air, let alone over trees or while bleeding and lying injured on the ground.
• 2) I have not seen Bob in real life since February of 1994 and I am unaware of his present health status (possible precognitive thread present).
• 3) Other dream characters (all unfamiliar males) emerge from my dream self’s body upon me seeing Bob on the ground. Bob does not “return” to my dream self’s body or coalesce in this case that I recall.

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Morning of July 23, 2017. Sunday.

Dream #: 18,479-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min 30 sec.



I am traveling with Leonard, a pinhead I knew who also lived in the King Street boarding house. He seems younger in my dream than when I knew him in real life, only about twenty years old. (My dream self seems only about twenty as well, which is not logical as he was about twenty years older than me in waking life).

We enter a big unfamiliar boarding house in an unknown location where we may be going to stay. The layout seems more like a public restaurant with at least three sections, but without much furniture. An unfamiliar chubby male of about fifty recognizes Leonard, but he does not know me.

He tells me I will need a Louisiana driver’s license, using the term “for this state” (that may be an instinctual association with being in the dream state). I am unsure why. I think we must be in Louisiana even though I do not think I will be driving. I know I do not have one. However, instinctual dream control becomes a factor. I know if I focus on having a driver’s license, it will appear in my wallet. I pretend I have one, and it exists as I open my wallet. The unknown male confirms it, and I can stay in the building.

Curiously, I end up driving a life-size version of a Hot Wheels Bubble Car of the same kind I had in my youth. It seems to be because the unknown male wanted me to. I may be a test driver. The top, which is like a light plastic dome, does not fully close due to it being partly held up by my height (apparently designed for someone shorter). It is not problematic, but its weight is slightly annoying. Still, I enjoy driving around with no mishaps. The internal orientation seems to correlate somewhat with a Formula One car. Later, I am driving a second car (undetermined) at the request of the unknown male.

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The situation where I am driving the first car seems to be an instinctual awareness of having a heavy blanket over me while sleeping, though I am not uncomfortable. Cars in dreams, especially driving one, stems from imaginary kinaesthesia and the illusory dynamics of physicality while sleeping.

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Morning of July 15, 2017. Saturday.



My dream starts out on the porch of the Barolin Street house (our previous home of where we have not lived since 2008). This is atypical, as the porch setting, though representing liminal space, is linked to the induction stage rather than the waking transition. As such, it begins to rain (water induction, my most common type, as water symbolizes the real-time dynamics of sleep). I enjoy its essence but I then realize that there are several small stacks of comic books in the north side yard, probably only four or five comic books in each of about nine stacks. Many seem to be Harvey comic books, such as “Casper the Friendly Ghost”. They are arranged in mostly an equidistant pattern (of about six inches apart to each direction) on a very low-set table or thin plywood platform. Zsuzsanna is with me. I realize that I have to run and get them so that they are not ruined.

When I go out into the rain, I feel very good, even though I have to act quickly. Curiously, the books show no signs of getting wet as I gather them. After I take them onto our porch, my dream changes, and there are far less threads of my conscious self identity present.

I now seem to be about eighteen years old or younger. My mother is still alive (and I have absolutely no recall of her having died in 2002). Strangely, even though my brother Earl did not die until November 29, 2007, I perceive him (via a false memory and false backstory) as having died when I was a teenager. (Therefore, my mother being alive in my dream and Earl being deceased is a typical error that dreams make all the time.)

The setting is very sparse in detail and so undefined, there is no discernment of whether it is indoors or outdoors or the typical ambiguous combination that my dream self somehow always perceptually resolves. This “impossible” thinking pattern is not viable when I am fully conscious, and remains a distortion native to the dream state only (though I really cannot understand how this could work despite critical thinking skills not existing in most non-lucid dream types).

My mother is present at times, including the very last scene. I mostly look at various Matchbox Cars. These are ones my brother Earl supposedly owned while living in Cubitis. (Although I still continuously have dreams based on variations of Cubitis, where I have not lived since the summer of 1978, dreaming of Earl’s house in Cubitis, which was only a few houses south of us, is quite rare.) Earl is present in some sort of ghost form, but otherwise appears to be normal, as he was in perhaps the late 1960s. He only looks on at my activities at times.

Yet another error in this dream is that I see Earl as being married to his third wife Cindy in this time period (and she is “still” living in his Cubitis house) rather than his first wife Beverly (and in fact, I have no awareness of him being married to anyone else). His ghost form seems to be a natural result of dying; that is, people die, and then they exist as visible “ghosts”, set apart from the physical world, but otherwise just as they were when alive.

I open a long rectangular cardboard box that is a racing set based on Matchbox Cars. There is a blue racing car that I look at for a short time. I do not think Earl will be angry as I look at his collection.

In the last scene, my mother is nearby. I play around with two blue Matchbox Car pickup trucks that are identical except for the position of the wings of the oversized white chicken sitting in each pickup truck bed. I get the impression it might be meant to be an advertising gimmick (possibly for KFC). One chicken’s wings are out and horizontal while the other’s wings are down and against its body. The chickens also rotate to spin around the pickup truck bed, and I start spinning them prior to waking.

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Although this non-lucid dream is extraordinarily easy to decode the native meaning of as most of my non-lucid dreams are, I will presently only focus on the last amusing segment. Chickens are birds that cannot fly very well, so are a typical example of “failed flight” (a form of “return flight”) waking symbolism. This is not negative and has nothing to do with conscious self “issues” as “dream interpreters” (not a real concept) seem to like to pretend via the Barnum effect. Waking symbolism as such is an indicator of the anticipatory (though subliminal) nature of hypnopompia, which is a biological process. As a result, bird and airplane symbolism (and flying in general) has been extremely common in my dreams since earliest memory, for over fifty years, continuously occurring in over one in five dreams in the tens of thousands I have studied.

In this one, there is even an obvious dream sign play, the pickup truck BED, an indicator of being in the dream state, even more so with the oversized chickens on them. Pairs of birds (of various species) have occurred in a number of my dreams. They represent, in most cases, Zsuzsanna and I sleeping together. They are different in their wing status (and in different pickup trucks) in this case due to Zsuzsanna and I being in different levels of sleep (in real time). My mother as my emergent consciousness is likely a vague association with Zsuzsanna prior to waking (as she is a mother to our children). Beds (sometimes in unusual locations) as real-time dream state indicators are also common in Zsuzsanna’s dreams.

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Morning of July 14, 2017. Friday.



I am in an unknown residence that has a lot of rooms of which are filled with junk that I plan to get rid of. The first setting seems to be a basement (or like a basement), yet is seemingly not underground, though it seems to have a dirt floor at times. There are large long shelves in a number of locations. Much of the junk seems to be parts of picture frames, nails, and documents I no longer need or want.

In one scene, I seem to be in the northernmost (northeast) room of the King Street boarding house, where I have not lived (in reality) in over twenty-five years. The bed is aligned lengthways along the west wall, head to the north (an orientation never utilized in reality). For the first time ever in a dream, my mother (July 14, 1916-October 2, 2002) is associated with the King Street boarding house as living there in my dream. (Although my wife Zsuzsanna and I have been together in many dreams since we met in reality, including as implied to be living in the King Street boarding house even though she has never been to America, I find it astounding upon realizing my mother had never been in this dream setting as far as I presently know.)

I had found an outfit (combined sweater and pants) for my youngest daughter and had brought it into the room. My mother seems angry that someone else had apparently thrown it out but is glad that I had retrieved it for use for my daughter’s benefit.

Later, there seem to be a number of other (unknown) people going through the miscellaneous junk. The actor John Larroquette (as he appeared in the television series “Night Court”) makes an appearance in the final segment. It is mentioned how no one wants most of what is presently sitting about in the large basement-like room.

“In that case, I’ll take these portraits,” he says, picking up two large slightly damaged portraits of himself (which may have originally been left there either by him or someone else).

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Our daughter was somewhat restless this morning. Her clothes appearing in my dream without her was a possible indicator of her being awake while we were sleeping.

My mother seems to be the precursor of my emergent consciousness in this case even though my dream self did not recall that she had died in 2002.

I believe that a dream of cleaning or getting rid of junk is sometimes biological symbolism relating to cellular processes in real time, possibly including a need to get up and use the bathroom.

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The final dream event features coalescence waking symbolism (projected, neutral preconscious). This stems from an analogy with coalescence meditation, of where viewing infinite selves by looking into a mirror on each side is metaphorically resolved as internal unification by then looking forward into the mirror reflecting the one self (in whole consciousness).

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Morning of July 13, 2017. Thursday.



In the beginning of my dream, I somehow carelessly cut my left arm and my right hand on something. There is mild pain. I notice that the cut on my left arm is deep. It is along my left forearm, on the left side when my hand is downwards, and straight over nearly its entire length. Later, I rub on some sort of medicinal cream that is supposed to help seal the cut.

I eventually notice that my cut is dry but open. I can see another layer of skin underneath. There is not much pain anymore, but I am somewhat annoyed at having the cut.

At a later point, my entire left forearm opens up somewhat like a pouch (via the long cut) into a partly hollow space. There is no blood, but there does seem to be sections of tissue and “bone”. My view of it seems magnified, although the inside of it would actually have to be much bigger than in reality to contain what it does. I can still move it about normally. Curiously, I notice about four metal cables coming out from where my elbow would be, which are apparently connected to strips of muscle. I consider that maybe someone had changed my arm into a robotic arm without me knowing about it. There are also at least two glass and metal structures that are shaped like rectangular prisms, the metal strips along the edges and connecting at the vertices.

I find myself in a library (more as if the ambiguous setting suddenly rendered a library counter feature) and I ask a person at the counter to look at my arm. Two people, an unfamiliar male and an unfamiliar female, look at it and comment. According to what I hear after I ask them about what it is made of, it is apparently believed that my arm is normal and that a person’s arm actually does have metal cables and such inside yet is still an organic natural form. I am still puzzled.

Eventually, I start to notice objects within the hollow area closer to my elbow (though still in my forearm). I see about six 3.5" computer disks and about three cassette tapes. They have handwritten labels. I do not take them out. I also see a VHS tape. (Imagine trying to visualize a VHS tape inside your arm with a lot of room to spare, but this is somehow resolved in my dream self’s viewpoint.) I consider that the items may have been left there as some sort of record of the process that was used to change my arm into something robotic.

In the last scene, I go into a hospital to ask about the nature of my arm, but it still seems the arm itself is supposedly normal. Eventually, I see jewelry and a large number of mostly silver coins (possibly American) inside the area closer to my elbow.

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Morning of July 6, 2017. Thursday.

Dream #: 18,462-02. Reading time: 42 sec.



In the first segment of my dream, Zsuzsanna and I are hugging and kissing in bed, in the King Street mansion (not a factor of our waking life as Zsuzsanna has never been to America) in the east middle apartment. The bed is perpendicular (its head north instead of east) to where it had been in waking life.

As I walk in the hall to go downstairs, I realize I am only wearing my left shoe. I repeat my routine of returning to the room and putting my shoes on until I see I am wearing both shoes.

Leonard is in his room at the end of the hall. He seems cheerful and appears as he was in the 1980s. He refers to me as his son John. (I had been wearing pants in bed in my dream, probably related to another part of the poem Leonard references, “Went to bed with his trousers on.” Another line is “One shoe off, and the other shoe on.”)

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“Diddle, Diddle, Dumpling, My Son John” was the influence of this dream.

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Morning of July 2, 2017. Sunday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and our children as we appear now are apparently living in the Cubitis house. However, my entire dream takes place outside, mostly in the backyard, though there is an additional feature of the north side of my middle school incorrectly rendered as the north side of the house, another unique composite of which my dream self does not question. (No two settings in my dreams, even in tens of thousands, are ever the same.) The time, which remains consistent, seems to be late morning.

I notice a wooden shipping crate in the backyard, close to the middle of the house (east side). I am puzzled over when it arrived and wonder who it belongs to as I consider it might have been left by mistake. I notice a small engraved circle on the side facing east.

I lift the crate up (and it seems to have no bottom) and notice the feet of at least two chickens. There are also other animals, though I do not learn what they are. Two tiny chicks, not much bigger than my thumb, are walking about at one point. There is feed already on the ground, but I also find a bag with supposed feed to give them. The “feed” is very small, seemingly small white triangular pebbles, some flatter than others, though still too big for them to eat. I find smaller feed and let it fall from between my fingers and they eat some of it. Throughout my dream, I am mostly in somewhat of a squatting position or on my knees.

There is also a miniature monkey. He is only about the size of a marmoset. He wears a bellhop cap. After looking about later, I see, off to my right, that he had been suffocated or crushed by pillows and large cushions that somehow had been placed or thrown over him (though I do not question why pillows would be outside on the ground). It is a sad realization, as I know our children might have liked him as a pet. He is on his back and his small body is stiff. I pick him up but there are no signs of life.

In the final scene, I am near what looks like the north side of the middle school that I attended many years ago, though it is still meant to be the north side yard of the Cubitis house, though as mentioned in the first paragraph, my dream self does not question this or reflect upon it at all (despite its much larger area than the house and yard). As I walk along easterly to the backyard again after talking to a couple members of my family, I strongly believe that I can will the monkey back to life. I am not lucid but I still have an idea in my mind that I can do this via thought alone. I focus and direct my thoughts. Very slowly, he comes back to life and seems fully alive and normal. I throw very small breadcrumbs on the ground and watch him eat.

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Morning of June 30, 2017. Friday.



I enter a prolonged dream state and remain mostly in instinctual dreaming depending on the situation. The same characters are consistent throughout for the most part. In normal lucidity, a dream can be taken full control of and vivified with the current conscious self identity. Creation and control is also predominant in instinctual dreaming, except there is no association with dreams or knowing or remembering what a dream even is and there is usually no current conscious self identity present. The nature of non-lucid dream control varies from faithful pretense in scenarios to passive expectation in how the dream is rendered and changed.

In the beginning, I am with a group of unknown males, mostly in their thirties. We are trying not to be discovered by another group of males. At one point, we go into a small ramshackle building that seems like a barn (play on Barnum?) with missing external walls on at least one side. There are at least four rooms, but the layout is much like oversized public bathroom stalls. I go into one to attempt to stay out of sight and others go into other rooms. There are small piles of old wooden planks and gaps in some of the walls. Eventually, the other group knows where I am.

The leader of the other group reminds me of P. T. Barnum. He discovers that I have telekinetic ability and wants me to work for him. This happens after several attempts to kill me. In one scene, an unknown male dressed in a ballet outfit shoots an arrow at me from about twelve feet away. I mentally cause the arrow to turn in flight and it goes back to him, hitting him in the chest, though I am not sure if he is fatally wounded. If I do not work for the leader of these men, he will continue to hunt me even though, over time, I defeat most of his team.

Prior to the last scene, when it seems to be late morning, he tells me that he could really use me and seems friendlier. It seems he has no men left on his team. Curiously, it turns out that he wants me to clean the entire planet, rid the world of pollution and make it neater and more in order. He sits at a picnic table. My answer is still “no”, but I play around with my telekinetic abilities through various scenes. In one, I make scraps of paper on the top of a picnic table hover and come together in one pile. I see disordered towels, which belong to him. I cause the towels to become neatly folded on the picnic table’s top. He seems very passive at this point.

As he watches me, I look out at the ocean. I see at least two sailboats and tell him to watch what I am going to do. I cause one to rise in the air as a man falls out into the water. The sailboat, while hovering above the water, bumps the other one, causing it to tip, though no one seems hurt. From here, my dream fades.

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The sailboat coming up out of the water (“rising from sleep / water”; the sails relating to bed sheets as a continuation of the folding towels association in making a bed after waking) is yet another version of waking symbolism involving water lowering or not being present where it would be expected (and water itself is dream state induction and symbolizes the essence of sleep). The last event is also akin to a flight symbol, a very common, over one in five of my dreams, precursor related to subliminal anticipation of a hypnopompic “fall” upon waking, including airplanes, birds, UFOs, the dream self falling, rising, or flying, and many other common forms. Still, many people seem to believe in certain forms of “dream interpretation” as a consequence of the Barnum effect.

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Barnum is a great personification of the preconscious and the emergent consciousness transmutation in the last scene. This likely comes from having to endure a few fake “dream interpretations” (though only recently on sites I do not post on as much as the main dream journal site and tumblr) even after explaining that I have no interest in second-hand “interpretation” from people who have no understanding of basic dream types or know anything at all about my life to this point (which makes second-hand “interpretation” even more ridiculous and offensive to an experienced dream journalist), me already explaining dynamics of my dreams at least in part, the “interpreter” (often of whom shows no sign of consistently remembering their own dreams) pretending negative context where none exists (though revealing their own life and mentality rather than mine of course - which is in fact what second-hand “interpretation” actually is, not a viable statement for the dreamer regardless of their typical politeness and willing submission to the Barnum syndrome).

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Stopping the arrow in flight and sending it back was a curious way to stop the waking mechanism without lucidly knowing this as my dream self. If it had reached me, it would have triggered the typical hypnopompic jolt (such as my lower back spasm sometimes triggered by the bird beak symbol or other flight-related symbols). However, this mechanism sometimes does not complete when certain levels of awareness are focused on it, though I still consider it a “chicken or egg” puzzle as to the causal factor.

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Morning of June 27, 2017. Tuesday.

Dream #: 18,453-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min 30 sec.



My dream begins, displaying snakes that are neither a threat nor where I am as if they were images on a screen.

I mentally create a new snake with liminal dream control. The setting becomes distorted. I try to make myself see a snake crawl from our present home’s kitchen. The snake appears but is unrealistic. A second unrealistic snake appears.

My level of awareness increases when Zsuzsanna and our three youngest children are near the front door, going out to the library (though it is night in the last scene). Although it is our present home, the setting is uniquely distorted (as always). A snake bites Lorenzo on the finger shortly after I warn everyone it is nearby. I am concerned, thinking he should go to the hospital. Lorenzo cries and looks at me. However, the situation becomes ambiguous, stemming from my imagination. Although I thought the snake was venomous, Zsuzsanna informs me it is not.

They go outside. The porch steps are incorrectly facing north, straight out from the front of our house (a recurring error) and slightly higher than in reality. Lorenzo sits on the ground near the steps. I think he might still need medical attention as he seems faint. I go out and half-jump, half-fall off the steps (vestibular system correlation, which revivifies my dream) to sit on the ground and comfort him as “we” coalesce into emerging consciousness.

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Important: Note how Lorenzo is this dream’s sleep simulacrum (the subliminal association with being in REM sleep), as he is “feeling faint.” Note how the scene directly links to vestibular system correlation (the subliminal focus on illusory physicality and movement by way of staircase usage, which I often initiate deliberately). These two dynamics are vital in decoding dreaming and waking processes and have correlated the same way in many previous dreams. Additionally, a dream character using a door is a common form of autosymbolism for synaptic gating concurrency.

It is also important to realize how the foundation of my dream stemmed from my conscious will with dream state awareness that transitioned into my dream’s unwilled scenario when I abandoned that alertness. That is how many dreaming experiences occur with many people either not admitting to it or unaware of their mental processes.

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Morning of June 26, 2017. Monday.



I am back on Loomis Street (where I have not been since February 9th of 1994 in reality) within a typically distorted dream-self identity of not being with viable memory beyond that of my eighteen-year-old self. I am in the living room of the Loomis Street house. There had been details that the world will be having strange weather, which has something to do with the sun. At first, my dream seems to be based on only unusual weather approaching, but not that threatening. However, the concept changes, becoming far more dramatic, before my dream ends.

My mother is alive and seemingly well and in the west bedroom of the Loomis Street house. I have no memory of her passing in 2002.

It seems to be afternoon. I am in a state where I decide to play around with the world itself by spinning the entire atmosphere, clouds and all, as fast as possible. That is, rather than causing Earth to spin faster or to slow down, it remains at its present rotation as I spin the sky around, north to south. The clouds are white and fluffy against a bright blue sky. The realism is extraordinary as I look out through the porch windows and watch the clouds dart across the sky as I willfully spin the atmosphere. I am doing this to show a few other (unknown) people what might soon be happening naturally due to the celestial events. This goes on for several minutes.

Eventually, the celestial changes come and the sky changes. Very unusual clouds appear in the sky. I sense people’s fear while not feeling threatened myself.

For a time, the sky looks much like an analogue television screen that is not fully on the channel. That is, there are diagonal lines and flickering bars across the sky. There is one very loud thunderclap. Looking at the sky again, it resembles an empty multicolored spreadsheet, with each cell randomly billowing downwards slightly, the whole expanse with somewhat of a wavering effect.

I know I should see my mother. She sits in her bed in her room and seems upset, saying how it is “the end of the world”. I do not feel any sense of fear or even concern for humanity. I calmly accept the fate of the world and of myself.

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It is obvious that this dream utilizes liminal dream control and originates mainly from my current conscious self identity and understanding of the dream state (virtuous circle effect) than anywhere else (even though I have no memory beyond my late teenage years while still within my dream). That is, I know I am creating my dream, and yet my dream self identity is not aware of this at a viable level. It partly comes from having looked at a childhood dream from 1971, that was in turn, based on having seen the movie “Crack in the World”, the childhood dream association of which also influenced at least one other dream of this date.

The evidence is not only obvious, but continuous on different levels. Firstly, I am able to spin the entire sky with no effort. Secondly, the sky then becomes like a television display not being on the channel. This is direct evidence that I view the sky as something I can willfully change as if with a television remote and that my thoughts are still based around liminal dream awareness. Then, the next stage utilizes an emergent focus on critical thinking skills (which do not viably exist in the dream state) when the sky then becomes like a multicolored spreadsheet, as if waiting for my conscious thinking skills to ascend and fill it with organized data. This same focus makes me subliminally aware of the waking symbolism - that is, dream state cessation as an “end of the world” metaphor (which has been a common form of waking symbolism since early childhood). (Why would dream cessation symbolism relate to the conscious self in a negative context? This is the ridiculous mistake I have seen people continuously make all my life with so-called interpretation, which I learned to dismiss at a very early age in light of truth.)

The fact that my dream self has no fear of this supposed end of the world is more evidence of liminal dream awareness and potential control being a major factor. Why should I care if my dream ends? It is a perfectly natural event. Even more obvious is the “return to bed” metaphor (yet another subliminal thread of acknowledgement of being asleep in reality), even though, in this case, it is typically distorted to a different time and characterization. The real puzzle still remains. What determines the status of my dream self (regarding altered age and time distortion factors)? What determines when and where any precognitive threads (or “input” from the collective unconscious or the Source) dominate the patterns?

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