non-lucid

Morning of December 20, 1999. Monday. (My 39th birthday.)



I am the robot (of mostly black metal but red feet) that I got for Christmas in 1969 (from my father), except full-sized. I sometimes stop and slowly turn my upper body to either left or right each time in the way that the robot did. It seems to be late at night.

I cannot seem to produce lasers from my chest when I want, or have it open at times. I see lights flashing now and then, at first thinking my “chest lights” are flashing upon someone’s windows (with closed curtains), but one set seems to come from a police car that had stopped near me, possibly to investigate what I am doing. However, I stealthily start pulling large but light metal parts off of me (my upper arms first) and leave them behind as I walk home, only now remembering more of my conscious self identity, and not getting into trouble either, even though one part I drop makes a very loud clanging noise. Looking back to my left, one “robot part” is actually a large open end wrench, but bent in the middle at about a 140 degree angle. I consider that I might need this to remove the rest of my apparent costume, but decide not to risk it so as not to look as if I am meandering or up to mischief.

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As this dream was semi-lucid, I am well aware of the officer in the police car being the preconscious avatar of this dream for possible RAS modulation. However, I do not attempt to modulate any of my dream’s dynamics.

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Morning of June 23, 1998. Tuesday.



I am not sure of the time but the front door to our apartment is rattling as if someone is trying to come in.

I carefully check it out and open our front door. Our (real-life) landlord is there doing something with a ladder in the hallway of the apartment house.

I say, “Oh, it’s you. I thought someone was trying to break in here.”

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A ladder usually represents an autosymbolic precursor for the return to full consciousness, which is something I clearly understood even at four years of age. The hallway setting is mostly incidental but still represents a “conduit” associated with the waking process in a similar manner as an alley.

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Either our landlord or an unknown intruder would still represent RAS personification, which represents the preconscious state. Still, as our landlord, it would suggest that I perceive my emergent consciousness as the “owner” of the dream state (at least to some degree) whereas burglars (or unexpected or unwanted intruders) suggest that I am not non-lucidly controlling my dream to the extent as in this scenario. However, in non-lucid dreams, intruders or imposers are sometimes more assertive and knowledgeable than my temporary dream self, which confirms the (precursory) essence of the conscious mind my dream self lacks and of which the preconscious only has to a limited degree. Being near a doorway also represents being closer to the waking point in many cases (though can also serve as induction into apex lucidity and full awareness and control in the dream state).

Checking a door to see if it is locked in a dream (or an event that implies potential intrusion) is usually RAS (reticular activating system) mediation, sometimes caused by a real environmental noise at the time of the dream and sometimes with preconscious concern over whether it is locked - as I once discovered that our door was indeed unlocked after getting up after a waking start from a similar dream as this one. This is otherwise a common type of waking process autosymbolism, which I label “doorway waking symbolism” (though remember that dreams are not symbolic in the way of popular misconception, and that this refers to the dream state, not waking life, and my dream’s dynamics in real-life context are literal here).

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Morning of June 1, 1998.

Reading time: 1 min 47 sec. Readability score: 62.



Some common factors occurred in these segments of June 1, 1998. I travel back in time to see Zsuzsanna as she was growing up. She is with her mother in a park. In one scene, I become annoyed at some unknown people. I rise in the air and hover above the ground to express my annoyance. There are no hostile reactions. I do not become lucid even though this type of natural vestibular system correlation often triggers lucidity. (I have always deliberately flown easily in both non-lucid and lucid dreams since earliest memory, an average of more than once per sleep cycle all my life, though even in non-lucid dreams, I typically see it as natural and automatic. In this case, it is somewhat similar to when I experience bliss when I find myself in sleep paralysis and try to increase my focus, which usually causes waves of pleasure and a rising sensation. The difference is that I am aware of my real physical body being horizontal. From the time when I was very young when in sleep paralysis, I have rolled my eyes up to focus on the center of my forehead. It increases the buzzing sensations and “rolling waves” from head to toe and back that bring a sense of bliss. The additional presence I feel is always of love. I find it baffling how the majority experience the opposite when in sleep paralysis. It is one of the public concepts about the subject of dreams that do not add up when focusing on my own lifelong experiences.)

In another scene, I am in a boat traveling over the ocean. At least two monkeys (male and female) live in an abandoned Noah’s Ark on the beach. It is much smaller than it should be, not much bigger than a houseboat. My skiff sits on the sand, a few feet from the shoreline.

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A boat is typically a reactive representation of the physical body when vestibular system correlation is present, not that much different than unaided flight, though does not always trigger lucidity in response. In one case in 1978, I tried to maintain control of a lucid dream, though my body ended up on a floating board, as vestibular system correlation become more linked to the awareness of my real physical body as being in bed. In a dream from 2013, my body is perceived as a “ship” to help people escape, though I eventually swim and slide through tunnels (a common dream event). In another dream from 2016, I am aware of a sailboat in which the sails are my lungs and seem to correlate with my breathing.

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Resupplemented on Tuesday, 14 August 2018.

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Morning of May 8, 1998. Friday.



I am in a vivid dream, though not fully lucid at any point. I enter the post office south of our home (while it is seemingly closed) that I have only been to a couple times in real life. I apparently have a special key to open different post office boxes and drawers (recurring). For some reason I never see it as stealing (likely because of my awareness of it being a dream at one level).

I eventually find a stack of small orange packages. There is a set of large earrings and a necklace in one package. The jewelry is round and golden with an unusual and unfamiliar design oriented toward the center. Our surname appears in the newspaper at one point and I contemplate if this is because someone had “reported” me for having the key as there is something about being “caught on camera” in the post office.

This afternoon, in real life, I actually did end up going to the post office to pick up a completely unexpected prize my wife Zsuzsanna won; a baby diary and an instant one-use camera. Her name had been in the newspaper the day before (though we had not seen the newspaper until later today and did not know about the prize until later today regarding a pick-up ticket in our mailbox). Although she did not win any jewelry, the design of the jewelry was the exact same pattern as the picture on the camera (which I myself had not seen before).

Morning of May 3, 1998. Sunday.



In my vivid dream, I meet Don Knotts. Curiously, he is young and assertive and not like typical characters he has played in movies. I tell him how much I enjoyed his movie “The Incredible Mr. Limpet”, especially the scene where he is dreaming and the stealth bomber transforms into a manta ray (possibly one of the eeriest surreal scenes I have seen in any movie, and for me, very nostalgic). We remain in cheerful conversation as I wake. (I enjoyed the mood of this dream very much.)

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Format of dream: Water induction (implied) to rendering of preconscious avatar (Don Knotts) to the waking autosymbolism of vestibular system correlation as the flight-related event, also liminally associated with the surreal transformations that often occur in dreams. Of course, the fact that I am describing a dream in my dream is a dream state indicator.

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I explain this dream type further in “Dreams of Type PRECONAV-VSCPCEL, 01-15”.

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Morning of April 8, 1998. Wednesday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and I own some sort of large game, which is as long as one side of the Gellibrand Street kitchen (the side with the internal door, the north wall), where a toy canoe goes across a conveyor-belt-like mechanism that simulates a journey by river where you have to gather a few things worth points as well as go around areas that come up from trapdoors in the “river” (playing field), such as (toy) alligators. I suppose in some ways it is like a real-life mechanical version of a computer game. The game seems mostly made of plastic with metal features. Gears cause different things to come up out of the simulated water imagery.

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Morning of January 4, 1998. Sunday.



I am near a water reservoir in an unfamiliar location which has apparently been contaminated by army tanks and jeeps somehow ending up in it (though I am not sure of how this had happened). A man who reminds me of Bill Gates (and who may be him) starts warning people about this situation and says that people could start dying. However, the problem is supposedly being solved (in a seemingly timely manner) by putting large plastic tarpaulins over the inside walls of the reservoir (though that does not seem logical as I do not think water could properly filter through them). I help with the task and it is seemingly working. In an additional dream or offset of this sequence, I am dancing and chanting in a very positive and cheerful mood (commonly recurring).

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In dreams, water has been validated for me to represent sleep. The condition of water in a dream relates directly to the dynamics of sleep in real time. Water getting lower over time represents the natural waking transition, a scene which has occurred at least once virtually every night for the past fifty years. In this case, during the waking transition, there is even the additional tarpaulin association (dream sign) with bed sheets. Translated directly: “The water is contaminated by the presence of army tanks and jeeps in it though using tarpaulins to line the reservoir will filter the water” becomes, “Sleep is presently somewhat restless with conflicting thoughts towards waking but by relaxing more within comfortable clean sheets a bit longer, sleep will be better.”

Morning of September 20, 1997. Saturday.



In one dream, there is a science fiction movie called “1464”. There is a tribe of children on another Earth-like planet who can communicate with other creatures such as water bugs, frogs, and birds. (I am not sure of the significance of the number. It may be some sort of play on my last street address number in America.)

In seemingly a different dream, I am in the future where there are strange giant creatures around in the area I travel to. It is not nightmarish; just unusual.

In another dream, I take my mother to the city to do some shopping. I also get two “Reader’s Digest” magazines in the mail. Both issues have an incorrect variation of the address on the label (which used to happen a lot in real life with a lot of generic commercial mail, including junk mail). In my dream, I am wondering how such a thing could happen. (The most amusing time was when I received a catalog that read “I think” in the address after the street number and name - as if “I think” was a type of, or used in place of, “Street”.)

Morning of August 26, 1997. Tuesday.



I dreamt of a skeleton that was buried in Cubitis (where I have not lived since 1978). The identity of the skeleton remains unknown. A strong wind blows dirt from it as I watch. Eventually, instead of a skeleton, it turns out to be edges of many interesting magazines and books. (Human remains becoming something else over time, or having been something else even when there does seem to be a real change, has been a sparsely recurring dream event.)

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Because skeletons, ghosts, and similar concepts relate to unfocused conscious awareness within a dream when books define a clearer conscious focus (though I do not become lucid), such a dream symbolizes increasing neural activity towards waking. Wind represents the passage of time.

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Morning of May 24, 1997. Saturday.

I am playing some sort of computer game that is like Pac-Man for the most part, but also has text adventure elements that appear on the screen. There are questions at different points depending on the area of the maze Pac-Man goes to. There also seem to be areas where passwords are required, of which I am not sure of the exact nature of but may be keywords obtained from going through the maze in a certain way.

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Morning of May 21, 1997. Wednesday.

There is an unknown music store I go into that does not sell cassette tapes anymore. Cassettes seem to be obsolete, perhaps even for recording. They seem so much out of use that it is possible I am in a futuristic setting.

At one point, I go over an underground bridge that is a part of the music store. The owner is an unfamiliar black male. There are a lot of different kinds of music.

One unknown male has found his first CD, it seems. It is one that he had apparently not found or seen anywhere else. Certain other people seem to think the CDs are also to become obsolete. I wander around but do not purchase anything.

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Morning of May 16, 1997. Friday.



My brother Jim (half-brother on my mother’s side) is visiting. He approaches me and starts talking about “wakes” (an obvious dream sign but I do not become viably or actively lucid, only the usual non-lucid dream control by way of instinctual dreaming). This seems to be focused on sexuality as having something to do with boats. Oddly though, he is talking about a particular type of water (which of course makes no sense other than a dream sign relevant to my typical water induction into the dream state, as water represents sleep and being in the dream state).

At one point, there is a strange skeleton of a bird that does not look quite right (possibly with “alien” implications).

At another point, Jim is in a room with other people and acting a bit strange, kicking his leg out.
At one point, there is a strange skeleton of a bird that does not look quite right (possibly with “alien” implications).

At another point, Jim is in a room with other people and acting a bit strange, kicking his leg out.

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As with many of my dreams since earliest memory, this entire dream is a real-time metaphor for sleeping, dreaming, and waking, though in this case, with an additional dream sign related to sexuality. The reference to sexuality is present because it is also a bed reference, which is a first-level dream state indicator (and a subliminal awareness that one has fallen asleep).

The bird skeleton is a typical “return flight” precursor which represents the waking stage common to the majority of my dreams as such (about twenty percent of the tens of thousands of dreams I have studied, decoded, and ultimately resolved - which brings amazing clarity of mind the more it is done). It first occurred about fifty years ago with the same overall dream theme, mainly influenced by a book on Birds that prompted me to maintain consciously created threads as such when entering the dream state. The “alien” association sometimes occurs as a difference between the transient and fictional dream self identity and the real conscious self identity (non-lucid dreams only as this factor does not usually occur in lucid dreams unless I will it to).

Even the last scene is a dream sign. When my brother Jim fell asleep on the armchair in real life, he would kick his leg out and sometimes move it a bit and people would joke that he was driving a car and stepping on the brakes. However, even seeing this scene in a dream did not alert me to the fact I was dreaming even when Jim had used the word “wakes” a few times earlier in my dream.

Additionally, even the collective consciousness of humanity understands that water symbolizes sleep. For example, the word “wakes” is a reference to a disturbance on the surface of the water caused by a boat or swimming animal.

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Morning of March 17, 1997. Monday.



This was a vivid dream of getting packages in the mail as well as being aware there are many older unopened ones. One is filled with jellylike candy.

The other packages are related to some sort of subscription in eventually building robotic animals. There are many parts of different birds that have to be built into “real” birds but which remain primarily statue-like. The heads do have veins and gore hanging from the necks but when attached in the kit, they make birdlike sounds. At one point in the background, our son seems to be in a cage for his protection from the larger mechanical or electronic parts in the room, though this does not feature more clearly.

I soon notice a large bear head that also has veins and flesh hanging from the neck. It also has a couple white plastic tubes and metallic cables connected to it. The head is somehow “alive” and “breathing” with a clicking sound. Some tubes come out of the side of the head as well.

There are also two parts of the top part of a bear’s body; front and back “shells” with possibly real bear skin and fur and there are also attachable bear “arms” (front legs) and paws. I tell my wife to move away as I am ready to build the “bear droid”, as I do not feel fully safe with the kit, which was apparently a free year’s subscription from a cheap multilevel-marketing company which is also likely involved in scams. The front and back skins zip together at the sides when the sections are attached. The bear head actually complains about how long it is taking me to complete his form. I let it believe what it wants to, due to not feeling safe in contradicting anything it claims about the scenario.

I ask the bear head if it needs food but it says no; it apparently does not need organic food to function (though it may need fuel or batteries at one point - I am not sure and do not ask). I attach the head to the upper torso and eventually realize that there are no bottom section parts in the house - and the electronic or mechanical torso is not complete yet (apparently relative to missing parts of the longer subscription that have not yet arrived). They may not even send the rest of the parts due to postal rates rising or the subscription running out. When mostly complete on the top, it tries to lick or “kiss” me at one point but I move away. I am not sure if it is just being playful, but I am somewhat aggravated and am wondering about its “programmable” nature and why there would be built-in annoying subroutines as such. My wife seems somewhat worried about the whole idea of a mechanical bear “droid” or even a realistic though mostly stationary model being in the house. Thus far, it cannot walk around (at least very well) at any rate and seems slightly top-heavy relative to its incompleteness.

At one point, there is a knife in its paw which I take away without any difficulty and from there, I cut the head vertically in half, having had enough doubt about the whole works - and it then complains that I do not like it - almost as if it is personal. The “bird droids” make a fuss as I cut the rest of it up into pieces as if there is some sort of link (though I do not intend to destroy or even damage the birds). I awake with the sound of louder birds in real life.

Morning of January 21, 1997. Tuesday.



My dream’s setting is a new and unique composite of La Crosse and Cubitis (which are over 1,500 miles apart in reality).

My dream’s induction is the typical nonthreatening flood, a dream feature that has occurred in at least one dream virtually every night since earliest memory, so it is obviously an autosymbolic induction factor that is usually unrelated to waking life, especially as water autosymbolism correlates with the dynamics of sleep and the sleep cycle.

Curiously, our front yard does not seem flooded at one point but our carport does (as a distortion of a Cubitis feature). I am fishing in it (which of course is a ridiculous concept, as the front yard and carport would otherwise be at the same level in real life, but water replacing ground or floor at the same level, yet implying depth, is a common dream distortion, another factor of water as autosymbolism for the sleeping and dreaming process by the transformation of ground into the essence of fluid).

At one point, it seems I have caught a large striped bass, which is a kind of silver fish I used to catch in America (often using orange florescent fishing spoons as a lure).

The “fish” gets heavier over time (as is often the case in my fishing dreams when I hook something). However, it eventually turns out to be a large white cat, though of which does not appear to be injured from my “catching” it with my fishing equipment. It comes near me and purrs and my focus shifts as I move more toward waking.

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Fishing is a type of autosymbolic preconscious mediation when my dream self seeks to find the conscious self identity to initiate the waking process. In this case, it is paired with another form of preconscious mediation, which is the carport - in representing the liminal space buffer as a factor of the waking process. A cat has often served as a preconscious avatar (and “witness” to the dream state), though in this case becomes the emergent consciousness factor.

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Morning of January 5, 1997. Sunday.

Quite a few men want to fight. It is near a flight of stairs (waking precursor feature). The apartment building we are living in seems unfamiliar (though that does not trigger any sort of focus or uncertainty). I seem to have special powers including an ability to transform into having a monstrous appearance.

The men are drunk and I pound them and toss them down the stairs into an actual pile. More men appear and I am able to throw them about. It seems to be from at least the second floor at one point.

Oddly, they seem to transform into broken beer bottles at one point. Other beer bottles appear near the top of the stairs, which I also toss down the stairs. After a time, there seems little difference in the essence between the broken beer bottles and what used to be men. (I am not a drinker in real life and it is also quite rare for me to dream about alcoholic beverages in any way.)