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    CanisLucidus

    Fedoras and Flatulence

    by , 08-16-2014 at 11:21 PM (936 Views)
    Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

    Lucid #231: Fedoras and Flatulence

    I wake up feeling disappointed that I didn’t manage to have a lucid dream. Well, too late for that -- Wife and the kids are up and getting ready and my folks are here too. I feel grumpy and sorry for myself, but I get started with the day. Lots of mundane stuff happens and eventually we all wind up sitting at a cafeteria table across from a pedestal.

    The pedestal fascinates me. It has the vague outline of a statue on it, which will fade from looking fully physical to almost completely invisible. It’s a statue of Artemis, and I know that nobody can see it but me because I’m the only lucid dreamer in this whole place. As I’m staring at this statue, a brown-haired woman in her early 20s sits down in the chair next to me, a little closer than appropriate. She touches me on the shoulder flirtatiously and leans in. “Hi! What are we looking at?”

    I feel uneasy about how close she’s getting but also attracted and flattered. I feel like I don’t know how much information I should reveal about being a lucid dreamer, so my answer is guarded: “That’s supposed to be a statue there.”

    “Well, what do you see?” she asks.

    The truth: “It’s a statue of Artemis. I can see it because I’m a lucid dreamer.”

    “That’s amazing!” she says. She makes a few more comments about lucid dreaming and then stands up. Her inner thigh brushes my left hand as she gets up and I again get that mix of attraction and discomfort. She smiles. “You should call me if you ever want to talk to me about it.”

    I think that I’d have no way to call her because I don’t have her phone number. I’m about to ask her what it is but stop when I realize how bad that would sound. This all feels strange to me now. I look to my right and my family isn’t here with me. It’s just me. I take the nose pinch reality check and I blow right through, becoming semi-lucid but just not completely convinced. .This feels so real, am I sure? I hit a second nose pinch and
    now I’m fully lucid.

    I get up from the table and move into an adjacent room, remembering my intent to summon Dreamer. My go-to method has been transforming an existing DC into her, so I look around at the few dream characters wandering this scene and confidently grab the nearest one. It’s a short, pudgy Asian male, overall a really abysmal candidate for this transform into Dreamer. I want to be confident though so I go right ahead with trying to transform this dude.

    I press my hands along his scalp, spreading Dreamer’s purple hair color along his scalp. He’s smiling and kind of chuckling at this, seeming to find it funny. The purple is coming out but whatever paint is coming out of my hands feels really clump and uneven. The guy’s scalp is kind of sweaty, too, and the purple paint even starts running down his face. His hair isn’t even half purpled before I get frustrated after a long time trying. Okay, maybe he looks too different, try changing the face. I start mashing on his face with my hands, trying to change his look into Dreamer. He seems to be getting kind of pissed at me for this and the whole thing just becomes awkward.

    Okay, move on. I leave and walk into another room with a strange, gently wavy floor. I try the behind-the-back summon, narrating that “I feel Dreamer’s hand over here,” but I feel this doubt like I’m not doing things properly. I call out “[Dreamer]!” (using her real name) and vaguely hear a response, and I decide that she must be up ahead in some nearby room. I decide to use my old trick of demanding that the dream show me the way, and now when I call for Dreamer, a doorway glows with bright yellow light.

    I continue moving through another series of 3-4 doors this way, demanding to be shown the way and the dream complying. I wind up in a large, cavernous room filled with DCs. There is a group of nuns near one side of the room that are dressed in unusual red habits. A large number of adults wander the room (more women than men) and close to the center of the room there’s a shallow pit where a large group of children are playing together. I ask the dream to show me where Dreamer is, but the glow effect always seems to be slightly out of view, frustrating me. I demand out loud that “Everybody point to where [Dreamer] is in this room.”

    Every character in the scene turns toward a young, blond girl that’s playing in the pit. She’s about 6, her hair much shorter and lighter than I would have imagined, but I feel like this is her. I walk up to the child, who looks up at me with a goofy, slightly crooked-toothed smile. I place my hands on the sides of her head and say, “This is you, you’re [Dreamer].” As I say this, she grows to full height and now she looks completely like herself, apart from the fact that she has the little girl’s short, blond hair.

    “Thank you for finding me!” she says. Dreamer puts her arms around my neck and we briefly hug. Almost immediately, all of the DCs in the room move toward, all of them smiling at her, greeting her, and wanting to interact with her. Some of them congratulate her. I stand by a few feet to the side, interested and amused. As each of the DCs greet her in turn, at one point a man comes up with a tiny fedora and placed it onto her head as if he’s crowning her.

    The happy throng of DCs congregate around Dreamer as they all walk toward one of the room’s exits. I feel sad to see her leave the dream scene so early but all of this feels very natural to me, so I don’t resist it.

    Once I find myself alone, I walk through another exit into an office scene with lots of people working at desks. It looks like we’re high up in a skyscraper. I make some mischief in here with telekinesis, throwing a plastic sign, tossing a desk, picking up one poor guy who’s just trying to get his work done. The office workers start seeming uncomfortable with my presence, so I look for an exit.

    Off to the side is a platform with a waiting helicopter, so I climb aboard. Another DC tries to get on with us, and there’s a brief argument about who should get to come aboard. The pilot says (referring to me) “He can do whatever he wants,” and we take off. We fly over the city for a good while and I spy a few buildings that look reminiscent from spots in Breaking Bad. Eventually the helicopter hovers over a forest clearing near a building and I jump out. The helicopter flies off and I’m alone again.

    I remember that I have a lucid dare from Dreamer that requires me to perform a Super Advanced Fart (one which is “very long, loud, and powerful”). At first I feel like this will be impossible. My body isn’t giving me “the signal” that anything can be conjured up. I know that this is a dream, though, so I convince myself that a bubble of pressure is forming in my stomach. Once that’s there, a good push sends me into a full eruption. The emerging fart is ultra loud and super powerful, lifting me gently into the air. It feels like there’s a hand or a platform under my butt lifting me upward. I wobble around unsteadily in the air, leaning left and right and bobbing a bit. It feels like I have a jet pack on.

    I’d hoped to have enough propulsion to reach lower earth orbit, but I never get more than 15-20 feet off the ground. As the “event” ends, I settle back down to the ground. Dare achieved!

    I’ve still got some dream left, so I decide to find Dreamer again. I ask the dream to show me where she is, and a door glows on a nearby building. I head for the door but before I reach it,
    I have a false awakening at the foot of a bed. Wife is lying on the bed, completely unclothed, writing on a notepad. I feel extreme sexual attraction and I curl up next to her. The moment that I kiss her neck, though, her clothes reappear. Then she shows me that she’s making a list of personality quirks that makes her good at Jeopardy questions. I’m still trying to figure out how to turn things frisky when my dad walks by on the way to the kitchen. The mood is officially ruined, so I get up for the day before waking up for real.

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    Comments

    1. ThreeCat's Avatar
      This was a cool dream, man. I love how creative the unconscious mind is: having all of the DCs interacting like that in the cave. Sounds like it was an amazing experience.

      On top of that, your dream control seems to have worked very smoothly in this one (telekinesis and the DCs assisting you and what not). What was up with the golden glow? Reminded me of Pulp Fiction

      Also sounds like you had a very long (and very stable!) dream. Congrats on that!
    2. ~Dreamer~'s Avatar
      That is a serious effort you put in to find me, I'm glad it finally paid off!
      Sorry to leave you so soon though! I wonder what I was being crowned for...
      The name switching is interesting, I've been doing that with you quite often in dreams lately - I can't seem to decide whether you're Canis or... [Canis] haha.

      I'm so proud of you for going all out with your Super Advanced Fart, hahaha! That sounds hilarious!
      Congrats on completing the lucid dare, I look forward to seeing what dares you have up your sleeve for others!

      Interesting that the non-lucid parts both had sexual themes... perhaps you should incorporate some mindfulness and covert RCing into your WL bedroom routine.

      An excellent dream as always, I can't wait for the next adventure!
      CanisLucidus likes this.
    3. Xanous's Avatar
      wario fart - YouTube

      This looms like a suaper awesome long Ld. So much awesoe. Wtg!!!!
      CanisLucidus and ~Dreamer~ like this.
    4. CanisLucidus's Avatar
      @ThreeCat - Thanks very much, man! It was a pretty amazing one.

      Yeah, in spite of the glitches (such as the poor hapless DC is tried to transform), I was pleased that dream control was for the most part coming together the way that I'd like. The golden glow is actually one of the tricks I tried at the very start of my lucid dreaming career. In fact, wow, just checked, and the first time I did this was when I was a brand new student in the intro class two years ago today. Heh.

      First glow: Lucid Chains, Lions, and Evasive Olympic Dreams - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views
      Another glow in one of my first LDs: DC Wants a Piece of Me - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

      For whatever reason, this trick just always seems to work for me. Some work of fiction convinced me long ago that this is the way the world works, I guess, and now it seems to be a very reliable method that I can use to locate things when I need to. Summoning is stronger dream control IMO but when things just aren't working the way that I might like, I'm always much more pleased with myself if I have the presence of mind to fall back to something that does work for me.

      Thanks for the comment!
      Updated 08-17-2014 at 07:46 PM by CanisLucidus
    5. CanisLucidus's Avatar
      @Dreamer - Yeah, it took me some effort but it totally paid off!

      I was a little surprised by the name switch because I'm so used to seeing you as "Dreamer" thanks to Skype. But in the moment when I was really trying to reach you, it just seemed right to use [Dreamer] for whatever reason.

      I'm so proud of you for going all out with your Super Advanced Fart, hahaha! That sounds hilarious!
      Congrats on completing the lucid dare, I look forward to seeing what dares you have up your sleeve for others!
      Ha ha, and thank you for the awesome dare! That was a lot of fun. It just occurred to me that our discussion of "Jetpack Joyride" was much more relevant to dreaming than I think either of us could have ever expected. I can't wait to post my new dares! I'll have em up today! Get ready!!

      Interesting that the non-lucid parts both had sexual themes... perhaps you should incorporate some mindfulness and covert RCing into your WL bedroom routine.
      One possible factor here is that I had enjoyed a little menthol at WBTB on this dream. I was ridiculously frisky in the NLD portions, especially the false awakening at the end!

      Ha ha, covert RCing... nose pinch is out! Definitely not doing the Laberge "Look at the clock, look away, look back" method. That is the worst thing to possibly get caught doing. LOL.

      An excellent dream as always, I can't wait for the next adventure!
      Same here! =D Thanks for showing up and hanging out with me in the dreamscape!

      @DrunkXanous - Ha ha, thanks so much dude! I can't tell you how pleased I am to have gotten a comment from you at this hour on this particular night! =D
      Xanous and ~Dreamer~ like this.
    6. ~Dreamer~'s Avatar
      Ha ha, covert RCing... nose pinch is out! Definitely not doing the Laberge "Look at the clock, look away, look back" method. That is the worst thing to possibly get caught doing. LOL.
      Perhaps you could save it with, "It's just that you're a dream come true!"

      I can't wait to post my new dares! I'll have em up today! Get ready!!
      I was born ready! I am gonna blast you and Sensei right out of this fort!
      CanisLucidus likes this.
    7. CanisLucidus's Avatar
      Perhaps you could save it with, "It's just that you're a dream come true!"
      LOL. Nice save! Smooth as mousse! Can't wait to deploy this one and see how it goes.

      I was born ready! I am gonna blast you and Sensei right out of this fort!
      Ha ha, this is gonna be so awesome! Those trackies conceal a potent weapon, a weapon that could be used as the savior of a magical fox... or as the ruin of even the best-constructed couch fort.
      ~Dreamer~ likes this.
    8. NyxCC's Avatar
      Lol! I laughed so hard at your description of the execution of the dare.

      Maybe Dreamer sensed where this whole thing was going and decided to leave before it was too late. Initially I misread about you performing the dare in the helicopter. Closed spaces. Ahahaha.

      Really loved the use of the glowing tech! I was thinking about the clairvoyance spell from skyrim couple of days ago and possibly trying it in dream and had forgotten you already employ a related tech.
    9. fogelbise's Avatar
      Awesome and funny!! What a great dare too! The helicopter sounded cool. This was particularly hilarious:

      I wobble around unsteadily in the air, leaning left and right and bobbing a bit.
      CanisLucidus and ~Dreamer~ like this.
    10. CanisLucidus's Avatar
      Quote Originally Posted by NyxCC
      Lol! I laughed so hard at your description of the execution of the dare.

      Maybe Dreamer sensed where this whole thing was going and decided to leave before it was too late. Initially I misread about you performing the dare in the helicopter. Closed spaces. Ahahaha.
      Thanks, Nyx! It was a really fun dare to do and gave me a nice excuse to do something that might have been a little embarrassing to try of my own volition. Now I can just say that as usual, whatever socially unacceptable thing I just did, it's because "Dreamer made me do it".

      And LOL, closed spaces! That's hilarious that you thought I was going to blow apart the helicopter!

      Quote Originally Posted by NyxCC
      Really loved the use of the glowing tech! I was thinking about the clairvoyance spell from skyrim couple of days ago and possibly trying it in dream and had forgotten you already employ a related tech.
      Oh yes, you should definitely try that if you're looking for something! If you've got a schema that you can build off of from Skyrim, I think it is going to work amazingly well for you! It's one of the most reliable techs I have, which is surprising since it fells so "magical".

      @fogelbise - Thanks, man, I appreciate it! Isn't Dreamer creative?

      And yeah, ha ha... I'm still working on my "flight control"! I was hoping to blast off like a Saturn V but this is just my lucid gas, not the Apollo program. I don't anticipate trying this again right away, but if I do, I'll have to see whether I can improve my control.
      NyxCC, fogelbise and ~Dreamer~ like this.
    11. darknightedlady's Avatar
      Awesome dream! I like the glowing technique. I have had that happen in a NL, after playing Halo4, ha! I should try it in a lucid sometime. I like NyxCC's idea of the Skyrim spell, too! It was great for all your dream character's to help you find dreamer- nice when they cooperate!
      CanisLucidus, NyxCC and ~Dreamer~ like this.
    12. CanisLucidus's Avatar
      @darknightedlady - Hey, great to see you, darknightedlady! If you've had this happen in an NLD, then I bet it'll work perfectly for you the next time you bring it out in a lucid!

      You're right, I loved that the DCs and dream environment in general were cooperative for me here! That poor guy even put up with me trying to repaint his hair and reconfigure his facial features, ha ha...

      Great to see you round the DJs! I'll have to check out yours to see what's new.
      darknightedlady and ~Dreamer~ like this.