• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 19/07/2020

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I want the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cxlviii.

      by , 08-31-2020 at 01:49 AM
      8th August 2020 8:30

      Fragment (DFLN thread):

      Recall faded somewhat. Left too long before deciding to type.

      Was underwater, felt something like Conan:Exiles but overall it was a mixture of different things. (nice and specific as always... )

      A cutscene of an event? Something about having a wee, or reproducing? A giant blue or dark teal female-like character had phallic tentacles from their genital area and they wrapped them around me or my character and left some kind of "seed". (my visual recall of this seems to have faded, but I remember it was quite distinct)

      Then something similar happened again? But with a different creature. Then I remember being equally big and trying to protect some smaller spawn.

      A wave of zeds from KF appeared and I used my giant arms to simply swat them away as they swam closer?

      Some other part, going up in a lift in a rush after escaping while fighting. Remember using a shotgun in a first-person mode. As the lift made a stop, there was a character. A deer, or half-deer. Something about the hooves was important? I remember a divinely glow of some kind behind the character... But not sure now.

      Then, further along, inside a gigantic tree that had been planted earlier (when?) but could sort of see inside out or something when looking up, weird perspective stuff. A bit cinematic-y.

      Fragment:


      Drawing on tablet?



      8th August 2020 10:10

      Fragment:

      In the old kitchen at the old home. Something about mom making a deal, or promise? With me, or with dad, who was also in the room. There's some cooking going on, I was making something soupy, or sauce-like.

      In an earlier part of the dream, playing with H in some GTA or SR-like game. I remember using a very large tank that took up two lanes, and then eventually simply decided to spawn or summon a jet, like one from JC3, but I got a fighter by accident instead of a bomber like I meant to, but I just carried on and got in it. Went over some restricted zone and started shooting at generic henchmen. I remember a city and a lot of water. Maybe a bit futuristic.

      Fragment:

      Mixed/incomplete recall. My cousin T ate some little sweet thing. It did something to her behaviour and I think her sister was there too. Something about me babysitting or taking care of them? Weird dream place, vivid-ish colours.



      Notes:
      - For a while now me and H have been playing KF2 on and off together, the zeds were probably just a leak-through of that. But I haven't really played C:E in forever, but have thought about it.
      - Not sure what was the specific source for the giant characters. Need to make mental note to look through old sketches.
      - The deer character was an unusual appearance. I think it was partly precipitated by the interactions I've had with Occipitalred here on DV. Deer-type animals are not the type I give a lot of conscious attention, though I did paint a deer character some six weeks ago (at the time of writing this).
      - The "mistake" of summoning the wrong jet is of particular significance for me because in JC3 I got very used to flying the more sluggish bomber and really pushing it to its limits.

      Updated 09-01-2020 at 02:00 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    2. cxlvii.

      by , 08-31-2020 at 01:31 AM
      Chronological re-direction entry;

      2nd August 2020

      4th August 2020 - 1

      4th August 2020 - 2 (lucid)



      5th August 2020

      Fragment:


      Canyons and ravines. Going around with someone else, but don't recall who.

      Eventually something about escaping or getting away. An alien "saucer" ship. Vision, of an alien communicating in an unknown language, as if on a holographic screen/display. One word stands out from the alien's speak however: Hyperdrive.

      I need to find a hyperdrive for these aliens, or find a suitable person to repair theirs maybe, I remember thinking. The drive would be mounted at the top of their ship?

      Still in the same dream, in my old home's building in the stairwell. Something seems different from how it should be. I go to one of the in-between level landings and go through one of the storage areas behind the frosted glass. They have a door on the other side which leads to a different, but mirror version of the stairwells. I don't question this in the dream, but it would have been a very good point for a RC, as this construct would be physically impossible in reality, there would be a drop on the other side, not a mirror version.

      The stairwell was well lit by natural light, but still many dark contrasts. Unlike in present day, the stairwell had no automatic lights.



      6th August 2020

      Fragment:

      Some early dream part was something about sending waves of hundreds of "native" fighters, fighting for some cause that a faction I belonged to was pursuing. These native fighters kept being annihilated by the enemy, which was simply better equipped.

      After this happened more than a few times (I remember seeing it, but not being there), I went to the fronts myself, only to find that there was no strategist in place here and so felt it was no wonder they kept getting slaughtered by the enemy. Lack of equipment could have been substituted by adequate and cautious strategy to defeat these openly arrogant enemies.

      Fragment:

      By the end of this dream I was watching some kind of live concert? There was a white female singer in the centre of a room. She started to sing a song I don't know, it was titled "Snowflake" or something. At first I thought that it was going to be silly, but then I found myself relating to the lyrics of her song, feeling like it was a song that could have come from H's perspective about me. The lyrics started off something like "something as simple as; merry Christmas!; is enough to [something] my snowflake".

      In-line note: Re-writing this here now, it seems there's still a lingering emotional link, despite not remember the dream very well visually; this suggests to me that this is attached to a very specific part of my subconscious, as I only have a few specific instances of this happening.

      Because I found myself relating to the lyrics so oddly and so specifically, I did a reality check. I had the correct number of fingers, and my fingers wouldn't pass through my palms, so I decided perhaps too quickly that reality was consistent enough that I wasn't dreaming.

      I remember the whole thing was all very "sing-along", with people in an audience playing their own instruments, in perfect time with the music, somehow just right, with no flaws at all.



      Extra note:

      - The music in the singing lady dream was, to my memory, completely dream-generated, but it did have elements of old timey singing/melody, which H does listen to a fair bit and I usually listen to as well when H does.
      - The first fragment from the 6th came from an incredibly long dream, I remember being in a lot of different places, mostly tents, trenches, battle-scarred streets, etc. I remember many scenes of both brightness and darkness, but I seem to be remembering an overly orange, sandy tone to the dream.
    3. cxlvi. Phobia Therapy

      by , 08-30-2020 at 07:50 PM
      30th July 2020

      Dream: (DFLN thread) (self-memo: be sure to re-read Sageous comment and my own reply)

      Was at some therapist's office. Looked to be a typical rented office space. I went in and saw a doctor "Hodstatdr Lester" (note, this is my original spelling in the original entry), he insisted gently that I call him Lester.

      He was a well-built man, with a mostly round head (bald?) and with a deep voice. He wore glasses.

      We sat opposite each other on identical chairs. Lightly stained pine frames with blue textile cushions (deep blue?).

      He began by asking me what he could help me with and by saying remarking something about whether or not it would be worth our time, mutually.

      I talked for a little bit, I don't have a recall of the specifics but then I said I had two unresolved phobias. He seemed to nod compliantly and asked me to go on. I remember thinking about what I wanted to say, and then saying it, an unusual process for me during conversation.

      "Well, one of my phobias is what's on your shirt." I said
      "Pockets?" He said with a look of surprise.
      "No" I replied, making a motion with my index running along my sternum.
      "Ah, you mean buttons" He replied.

      I interrupted with "Yes" because I had(have) an aversion to even saying the word at times.

      "Well, you have a [unintelligible prefix]-phobia" He then stated.

      I also had in mind that I wanted to talk about another unresolved phobia. But oddly enough I couldn't remember what it was (and still can't).

      In any case, I said that this phobia name sounded familiar, and just as we were about to start discussing it, I woke up.

      Original notes:

      - While I felt like I could trust him, hesitantly, this feeling was mostly further compromised by the fact that the chairs were oriented in a way that made him be slightly my left and I to his right. This could have been corrected easily when I sat down, by simply turning the chair in a different angle.
      - In addition, the room was large. 6x6 mtrs or so at a guess. But apart from our chairs it was a completely empty office. The floor was carpeted?
      - Finally, there were two windows. One behind and left of the therapist (from my pov) and another one out of sight in the far right corner of the room. It was day time and so the two windows were the only light sources.

      Scraps:

      Mentalist dream, something about young children getting their fingers stamped with hot seals? This was part of some imagined thoughts at some point.

      Something about being in my old home's kitchen, the light was on. Absence of light and darkness from outside. Odd. Mom and T were in the kitchen? Something about cooking, and then a bat flew in and mom notified us, after I'd already spotted it. It was light brown in colour, caramel coloured even.

      One of the very first dreams? Was in a tank in some place near a warehouse and I was shooting civilians with tank shells, because they were being uncooperative somehow. I remember troops on foot scattering from a rear formation to take control of the civilians and the immediate area.
    4. cxlv.

      by , 08-24-2020 at 09:01 PM
      25th July 2020

      Fragment:

      In some Minecraft-like world with H. There was a dragon of some kind that kept coming back and harassing us. We were at some coastal area and there was a passive (did I mean peaceful?) moment during which there were loads of weapons to select from.

      26th July 2020 (DFLN thread)

      Fragment:

      Voxels, some volcanic area. Solid magma blocks and generally some dark blocks. There was a sci-fi base.

      Fragment:

      Dream where I was eating cheese, I think in the kitchen. Vague memory of getting it out and cutting it.

      Fragment:

      Micro-dream after having been awake for a bit and then dozing off. Was listening to the cathedral's bells and then I saw a scene about a couple. I remember there was a part where they were chasing after each other in a playful manner and then they were going into a bedroom. I seem to recall some negative thing to this too?

      27th July 2020
      (DFLN thread)

      Fragment:

      HD and her partner D, at the end of the dream in some world that looked like it was out of Spore. Lots of weird bug-like creatures. (Nice, very descriptive...)

      HD is talking from a distance by voice? She's a mix of hershelf and S, my sibling's partner. H is almost giving HD a headache somehow. The dream had started with Minecraft somehow and it was a very fractured world. People from O's server were also there, as was my middle sibling.

      Dream:

      Don't recall the start of the dream but I was in a restaurant place with mom. It was like a Chinese buffet place, but not quite. I was serving myself, mom had just finished doing so. I remember seeing her across the way, on the other side of the buffet area. I got some breaded chicken thing and then wanted a bun, but for some reason I reached across the other side for one, carefully so as to not dip myself into any food. But I could have just gone around and I sort of realised this. Then I remember going to the table where mom was sat.

      There was a vacant seat to her right and I sat there. For some reason I was shorter or completely slouched now, so I couldn't reach my food properly. To my right was an Asian lady (Korean?) and she started picking on me for some reason. I remember telling her she was being mean and even went so far as to say that she was the meanest lady I'd ever met, as she kept continuously harassing me. After struggling with the food for a while I somehow managed to sit upright and felt much taller than before. I also thought I would apologise for my own behaviour.

      I told the lady she couldn't possibly the meanest person ever. I said that she had been a bit mean but not that much. We sort of reconciled.

      (recall gap or separate dream? have a feeling the sequences were part of the same here)

      Somewhere else. Fragmented. I was in a cave that was connecting to a (currently) underground and high-tech moving fortress belonging to "my" faction. I was going outside to do some scouting of a target enemy base nearby. It was a tall Protoss-like spire or tower, in the midst of a low flat area surrounded by cliffs. Come to think of it, reminds me of Howling Fjord from WLK.

      I remember getting back in the fortress and reporting my findings. Someone was "digistructing" something, to seal the entrance better. The entry point was a round sliding door, mechanical and heavy. This fortress' style reminded me of Grineer style.

      Some very early part of this there was this very cheesily painted bomber, fully patterned with a stylised USA flag pattern; it dropped some hooks for me and a squad to grab onto and pull us up, as it dropped a nuke at the same time. I think it eventually took us near the fortress.



      Must remember to tag this later.
    5. cxliv.

      by , 08-24-2020 at 02:26 AM
      23rd July 2020

      Dream:

      In a house like in Terraria, with a similar viewing angle/style just with more realistic detailing. But the dream itself started out more like reality and I got in this house bit. I was on a cliff ledge or something, there was a sandstone building and it was kind of dark, I believe there was a sort of cliff overhang above. It was daytime but there was no direct sunlight here, just bounced light. I was there to kick some people out?

      There was a bit of bedlam inside the house when I first got in. Some of my family was there and there was a lot of old and dark stain furniture. Eventually I left the house while it was in the Terraria view mode and things became 3D again and more like BL.

      Remember some bit about fighting a special UFO boss. (DFLN thread) Travelled really far at high speed while fighting it. Come to think of it, reminds me of some old Sega Megadrive games... I defeated this boss and it crashed in a body of water and the high-speed chase thing was over. Then I wanted to get inside the machine via a hatch and I remember jumping in the water or something but the hatch was like a massive AAA battery port too and I had to disconnect and remove the terminals and parts of the casing? I remember initially thinking about needing air, but then realising or thinking that it didn't matter or something.

      I seem to remember there was a lot more to this dream, but the detail is all gone.
    6. cxliii.

      by , 08-23-2020 at 11:12 PM
      More catching up.

      13th July 2020

      Fragment:

      Mix of WoW, Minecraft and Dwarf Fortress. (DFLN thread)

      Remember mining like in Minecraft and then stumbling into a Dark Iron fortress. Remember meeting with Hnk and some small raid group he had. Not sure what they were doing or if I joined or not. I vaguely recall some combat in a semi-open area (but still underground?).

      16th July 2020

      Fragment:

      Few details remain. There was a small tree, a sapling, in a plant pot and atop a low wall.

      For some reason earlier in the dream I had tried to cut the sapling with a serrated knife but not like a serious one, more like a table knife. Now I was trying again because I was making adjustments to a road next to this low wall. I was marking and dividing up the new lanes for this road and my lane dividers were made from stuff just laying about.

      But as I was trying to cut this tree, two people came my way, I knew one of them from waking life but I forget who it was. The other one, was the owner of the small tree and he was a dream character. He seemed distressed by what I was doing and I tried to cover up the cuts I'd made on the tree. When he approached further as they got closer, he asked me what I was doing and all that sort of thing.

      I tried to explain that I needed his tree and now actually I only wanted a cutting from one of the branches to propagate the tree. Some of the bits where I'd been cutting the tree at looked more like they'd been lathed than cut as they were very perfect and circular (spiral?). It made the tree have a very "modern" style look somehow.

      19th July 2020

      Fragment:

      Quite a few dreams but mostly only memorised one segment.

      Near the end of the dream, I was having a conversation with someone I knew from school a long time ago (who?). I remember seeing his face but somehow we were both near each other and not near all at once.

      For some reason he started talking to me about my relationships. He commented that I had "abandon" some of my habits, referring to how I don't look at men the same way as I do women usually. He said I was a acchrophyl or something. No idea, but it looked a made up word as it happens in dreams. (DFLN thread)

      I remember then seeing a white background and a sort of slideshow with still images depicting an anthropomorphic wolf and a person and the person had a silly face and was looking toward the camera and pointing at the wolf. The wolf was looking embarrassed and pointing at the ground ahead of him. I don't remember the rest of the slides.

      We talked more but I forget the details. Then H arrived somewhere in the van and I went to meet up with him and get in.

      I remember having passing thoughts about how this guy from school was seeming very wise in these conversations, which seemed unexpected. I don't remember anything else except that this segment was in continuation of another where I had been exploring an abandoned mall bunker with people who were possibly also old schoolmates. I remember thinking it all looked intact and immaculate and everything still worked, so I wondered why it was abandoned.
    7. cxlii.

      by , 08-19-2020 at 08:15 PM
      9th July 2020

      Fragment:

      Something about talking to A in some imagined version of her home. I remember it was day time and there was a coffee table? An old style computer with a CRT.

      We talked about a few things, mostly random ones, but also about my art and I asked if she knew anyone who might be interested.



      10th July 2020

      Fragment:

      Dream about being on the computer and looking through one of the art sites I frequent. I remember looking at my own art and other peoples' art, but the rest of the recall is gone.



      11th July 2020

      Fragment:

      On the computer, looking at one of the art sites again, and at my account page. I think I'd received some comments and I was typing up replies to the comments. I vaguely remember new dream-generated artwork, both of my own authorship and of other artists.

      Something about wanting to make a second account for only certain types of posts (?) but in the end I decided it would be too confusing if I had duplicate uploads between two different accounts.



      Notes:
      - There is quite a mix within these three days, the dreams being pretty much about the same thing in one way or another; my art and how both I and others perceive it.
      - At present this hasn't been manifesting in dreams quite as much but at the time of these dreams I was perhaps finding myself obsessively thinking about these things a bit through the days, more so than currently.
      - The recalled part of the first dream relates directly to how I no longer have direct contacts/friendships with people who are interested in the same things, thus trying to see if a friend did know anyone and if we could basically be introduced; I've had this thought consciously a few times during certain days but since then have decided that I can't meaningfully seek this out in a natural/organic way and since then I've also had a conversation about this topic with a friend.
    8. cxli.

      by , 08-19-2020 at 08:01 PM
      7th July 2020

      Dream (somewhat fragmented):

      Some mix of walking and racing around a city. There was a long track that lapped at a military train station of some kind and looped around through a somewhat futuristic city and some mountains and sea side cliffs. I think I lapped around a couple of times at least. The track was a mix of dirt and train tracks along the non-city parts, so the car would transform or something as it went on and off the rail tracks. The moments during which I was driving were all in third person view.

      (recall gap)

      At some point I was driving a tank past the check point where the race track supposedly lapped, somewhere in the city. A group of rebels appeared and melded out from the cheering crowds gathered around the city race track. The group of people had guns and they clung to me and demanded "the truth" (not of me, it was their chant?). I was not their ally but not their enemy either. I carried on moving forward and some point I'm me and not in the tank anymore, and I'm going through this cramped and small hall of a sci-fi, neon-lit mall. It's kind of dark but the neon signs made a stark contrast.

      (at some point there's a transition, maybe not instant but gradual, though my recall of it has faded)

      The rather large group of rebels was much smaller now. I was now in a giant cavern and this much smaller (less than ten people in total) group of rebels and their children had been following me for a while now after what I think had been quite some time walking; some of the kids kept holding on to me (in fear?) or clinging but I found this annoying at times since I was trying to move forward.

      In the huge cave there was this giant reptilian alien creature and it was fighting or attacking something. I remember running past its large open mouth and throwing a small nuclear bomb inside. Somehow I made it keep its mouth closed as I moved towards its tail.

      The bomb went off at this point and the light shone right through the scaly skin; there was a certain iridescence to the effect and there were plenty of vivid colour. Because I was at the back at this point, I remember making note that it was a female (based on the genitals) and the creature began to feel weak and was sort of hanging on its knees.

      Then I remember being the same size as it; I sort of rolled it over on its back and then it was a (friendly) dog. I was trying to be careful because some of those people were still nearby and now they were tiny. I gave the dog some kind of pill like a tranquillising medicine, without too much resistance; the giant dog began to look a bit out of it and happy. Then there was some kind of interface to choose how to reset or reprogram the creature's behaviour. There were two columns with a few options each.

      The dream ended shortly after this.



      Notes:
      - Even only after waking up I thought that the general setting of this dream was very interesting. The sci-fi type city and the scenic landscapes are generally appealing and come to think of it, are both subjects I'd like to be better at portraying artistically.
      -- I remember some picturesque sunset views at some point, around the seaside cliff areas.
      - This was one of those dreams that felt quite long, where I feel there are many parts of the dream that I did experience but simply could not recall solidly once awake.
      - The whole thing with the rebels and the city makes me think of the Hunger Games for some reason, though I don't think I'd rewatched it recently at the time of this dream.
      -- I don't remember clearly anymore what was the general emotional state of the rebels and their children when we were in the cave, but my mind says "fear" at the moment; but the way the children were hanging on to me was more playful, in the same way that as when I was a child I might have done when being playful with my parents.
      - The nuclear bomb and the shiny effect were probably in part brought on by playing Borderlands 3 and using a character skill that enables miniaturised nuclear warheads to be fired, and in part probably by Fallout and its Fatman too.
      - Rolling over the creature (dog at that point) was very akin to my experience of having to give my dog medication, though in this case there was actually more willingness to receive the medication.

      Updated 08-19-2020 at 08:03 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    9. cxl.

      by , 08-18-2020 at 09:43 PM
      5th July 2020

      Dream:

      I remember being at home with H. We were trying to sleep but couldn't manage for some reason; I remember having slept for an unusually low amount of time in the dream, one or two hours only. On re-writing this entry here, I have a vague memory of seeing the red clock display something very early, maybe around 6AM or so.

      We got up and put some shoes on, etc. We went outside, it looked early but not dark, though it wasn't bright either. We had been invited to go to some neighbour's house for a dinner time meal or something. The area outside looks different from how it should. A mix of my home town and the place where me and H live now. There are some leftover and unfinished construction works.

      We went down the road and around the corner over on the left side of the street. There was an open bit, like a plaza/square and it had some small concrete storage units of some kind. They had metal doors and H used a key to open one and he put in a gem, looked like a Tiger's Eye.

      But the top of the unit was smashed and rubble was visible inside from the top. This apparently didn't bother H at all but I asked him about it. I think H wasn't understanding my point and I eventually dropped the subject as we walked away. Before we went to the next place(?), H needed to have a wee or something; so he was going to walk over to the commercial estate across the way from our street/home, but it looked like a different commercial estate that I know of in the area. (Note to self, refer to original entry)

      I think I wondered why not just go home since it was closer anyway. But I think H was going to do something else while there. So then I decided to wait outside this neighbour's house that I thought we were going to. I thought of knocking, but felt afraid of getting it wrong, so I didn't. I remember having passing thoughts about my boots, about how I should probably take them off as soon as we got in, so I wouldn't catch any of their stuff or furniture with my feet.

      I walked back to the end of our street. For some reason at that point, I took codeine. I don't remember where I got it from, my pockets? I remember then looking towards the shops area. There were people about but not many. I didn't want to stare at them for some reason so instead I just looked up at the sky just above. Cloudy, excessively blue-ish, dim. But all of a sudden I could see clouds moving very fast in our general direction. I thought this to be strange and looked away for a while and then when I looked back it had stopped.

      In the dream I attributed that as some hallucinatory effect of the dream-codeine I took. Eventually I could see H in the distance, coming back. H now had a short and bright red impermeable coat with a hood. Not unlike red riding hood but more modern, and less feminine/more unisex in appearance.



      Notes:
      - Like in another dream I recently caught up on, again, if I had this dream now and had taken codeine in a dream, this could now be a big alert that something was off, since at the moment I know that I must absolutely not take any codeine since it could be dangerous for me to do at present.
      - Re-writing this dream entry here only a bit over a month since the dream, I still have quite decent memory of the visuals.
      - In the dream, it was foolish of me to simply disregard the odd sky/cloud events as being a hallucination; that in itself should have been enough of cue for a RC.
      -- Likewise, looking away and back and having seen such a massive change should have been a good cue ordinarily.
    10. cxxxix. Pre-lucid moment and artificial dream sign

      by , 08-13-2020 at 01:22 AM
      1st July 2020

      Fragment:

      Long dream but recall up to this point was poor. About halfway in, I was going through a busy-ish city centre with some other dream character walking along with me.

      Then a very obvious dream sign appeared, a tall woman in labcoat, walking away in a different direction, possibly wearing nothing else. She had flat and very black hair, reminding me of one of my cousin's hair or come to think of it, a sort of Cleopatra hairstyle?

      I recognised the dream sign and checked the fingers on my right hand, but for some reason I didn't realise I was dreaming and I didn't make further checks. Something about my fingers seemed distorted but the number was correct. I didn't remember to do any physics checks oddly and I think I was also distracted by whatever my previous dream objective was.

      Later I either had a micro awakening or another pre-lucid moment during which I automatically reflected on what had happened and how I'd been unable to realise I was dreaming, but again not realising this irony.

      (Missing recall)

      Different part of the dream. I was somewhere kind of dark. Some dream character was showing me something? Then some of this characters pet spiders appeared on the ground out of nowhere, individually one after another, there were only a few though. But for some reason in the dream I let my phobia sort of return and take a small hold of me, mostly because of the first spider. It was a black and yellow/gold patterned orb weaver, about the size of a large hand. Even in my temporarily panicked state I realised that it seemed more afraid of me, but I couldn't shake the feeling of unease.

      (Missing transition)

      Another part of the dream sequence where I was at some modern-ish looking house. I was not myself, but a character for the dream plot. I was some kind of elemental creature but I don't recall any details of my form or appearance. There were four other humanoid creatures of similar elemental nature. There was an absent character that had created us and one of the other creatures had been created right in front of me. She appeared in a cloud of white smoke within a glass room, which I was standing outside of. The glass enclosing this "room" made it more like a container or cell of sorts really.



      Notes:

      - This dream was a particularly good pre-cursor to the lucidity I had later on (4th August).
      -- At this point I had been becoming more diligent with my reality checks but not quite so much just yet. Currently at the time of writing (13th August) I am far more diligent with my RCing though there are still situations under which I should be checking but still am not quite so often.

      - My primary issue with my RC was really the fact that I gave up on the first try but this was made much worse by the fact that the dream itself caused distraction from my RC procedure, something that I'm a bit more careful.

      - The bit with the spiders was somewhat unusual in that I haven't been letting this affect me at all in waking life but it may have been around the time when I've seen bigger ones around the house more recently.
      - This was the first dream with spiders for quite some time now, I think.
    11. cxxxviii.

      by , 08-13-2020 at 01:01 AM
      27th June 2020

      Fragment:

      Long dream but details faded. Remember being in the mountains, by myself. It was a sort of twilight hour. I remember looking under what was a false boulder and there was money under there, a few thousand euros and pounds. There was a message saying I was to take as much as I wanted.

      I stuffed it all in my shorts pockets.

      Then I remember thinking about going back home or something, I felt like I was lost in an unknown country. I arrived at a hotel place of some sorts and H was there in the role of a generic servant or something.

      (Transition/recall gap.)

      In some kind of big store. There's only a few people around, it's day time and not much artificial lighting is needed in here as it seems to be adequately lit naturally. Then this group of guys comes in and they are a bit stocky, not fat though. They are going to rob a vault at the store. They do so and there isn't much fuss about it, apart from the odd scream from a woman. I hear them talking or something and they managed to steal 6.2 billion.

      I think about how much money that is, and how it looks so small physically, as they only carried a few sacks of notes between them. I remember maybe being in the car with them and talking about their robbed loot.



      Notes:

      - Although I remember having this dream since it wasn't that long ago, none of the visual recall seems to be coming back really, so in that sense I can't consider it very memorable at this time.
      - I remember there was a fair bit of dialogue in this dream, but this is typically amongst my most easily lost details.
    12. cxxxvii.

      by , 08-13-2020 at 12:54 AM
      Some more DJ catch up.

      24th June 2020

      Fragment:


      Dream about going into a doctor's office, either alone or with H. Doctor said they needed to do a biopsy and that it was going to be in one of my shoulder blades?
    13. cxxxvi.

      by , 08-10-2020 at 01:46 PM
      Last catch up entry for today I think.

      23rd June 2020

      Fragment:

      Remember seeing Discord. I had been removed from the Nx server, as it was no longer on the list. My friends looked shorter too. I soon realised A wasn't on the list anymore and I presumed I'd been removed from their friends list. I checked my Steam friends list and saw the same again.

      In the dream I remember thinking this was unsurprising, but all the same, disappointing. It made me feel as though I'd been used, and made irrelevant past a certain point.



      Notes:
      - This part of whatever dream it was from surely came about as part of my emotional processing of a few things, but primarily from a wariness so as to not let myself be lied to or used.
      - In the dream I think there was some subtext of libel against me.
    14. cxxxv.

      by , 08-10-2020 at 01:32 PM
      22nd June 2020

      Dream:

      Me and H were walking along a narrow countryside road, surrounded by hedges. At one point, instead of hedges there's a house. It looks moderate in size. The dream immediately establishes somehow that it was the house of our waking life neighbours, the old couple.

      I just want to go past the house though, and continue on our journey. It's a humid but fresh morning and the light looks beautiful, I have a vague memory of the sun still being fairly low but high enough that it's quite bright.

      H becomes distracted by the house, at first staring at some of the sandstone that makes up the house walls. Then looking in through the windows. This makes me feel uneasy. Through the first window, which looks to be tinted in some way, I see a Pioneer turntable, a silver one. We walk a few paces forward at last, but then H stops again. I turn around and I see a big cabinet style turntable station. It's sitting outside the house, directly against the wall but in the dream it still seems like it's inside the house too somehow.

      It's mostly a silver Pioneer unit again. I manage to read a model number. LP-PL13. I point it out to H and he seems uninterested. We keep walking? But then we get inside the house somehow and it looks like a mix of what I know our neighbour's house to actually be like inside plus our own current home and my old home. I soon begin to wonder how their house could look so much bigger on the inside, seeing as they should be terraced houses, not realising the terrible irony that the house had initially presented itself as a detached home in the countryside.

      We go through a few rooms, both wondering if the old couple is home. Their home is beautifully organised and in this version presents itself with a lot of Hi-Fi equipment. At one point I remark they seem to like Pioneer's stuff as much as H. There was mostly silver "era" stuff.

      Eventually we end up in what I can only call a storage corridor. It would be dark if it weren't for two cold but bright fluorescent tubes. The corridor feels narrow only because there are metal storage shelving units to either side and they're full of stuff, mostly electronics.

      I make note of a few older CRT television sets. One is a Mitsubishi and it's medium in size. Then as we continue along I remark on some of the stuff but I can't remember what I said or what H replied.

      At the end of the corridor it forks, on the left is the master room for the old couple. I didn't look to see what was to the right.

      At some point before this, I remember the neighbour sees us from a room? And tentatively says hello and we reply with a short hi ourselves. Now, his wife is laying in bed but looks at us too. Her husband appears I think and they ask something of us? They want us to read over some document they've written.

      We are now in a living room like the one at my old home but with different decor. We sit at the dining table which has the document on it. It's only some three pages long but double sided. There's only one copy. H reads a bit of it first, then I read some of it. It's some kind of invitation for something, an event? for a club. It starts out with a page-long poem or some such. Something about Napoleon and war comes up. The text seemed consistent in the dream but I can't help but wonder if turning over the pages was making it change.

      I wake up shortly after this.



      Notes:
      - The house felt immense inside, although the ceiling height was probably much lower than it actually would have been if it was actually ours or our neighbours' home.
      - The house felt like a well imagined mix of our home and theirs, as ours is quite disorganised but does have a lot of electronics about, and theirs is very well organised and also uncluttered, really.
      - It's interesting that I make note of the makes of things a lot more often now, even in dreams. I don't seem to recall doing that so much even just a few years ago and I'd say that living with H has been a good part of this change.
      - I remember the natural light inside the house was more like my old home. Lots of dark/bright contrasts.
    15. cxxxiv.

      by , 08-10-2020 at 01:02 PM
      21st June 2020

      Fragment:

      My phone needed charging and I was at home with H. I went to get a charger for my phone and plugged it in; there was arcing/sparking and a flash.

      I opened the back of the phone and took the cable off it and saw that the battery had bulged slightly in one place. And the cable specs said it provided 2.9v rather than what it supposedly needed, 5v.

      Fragment:

      Some bit around my home town. I'm in the car, with mom and dad. Mom complains about being nearly 11:30 even though the dash says 10:30. Mom was complaining because we had to be there (at the destination?) and my siblings weren't ready or in the car with us yet.

      Dad took us to some cafe, or restaurant? Near where the pools in my old home town are.

      Fragment:

      In the kitchen at our current home. I was going to take codeine, but it had been prescribed for something other than pain, like allergies?



      Notes:
      - The part in the car with mom and dad is a typical scenario that might happen when we all still lived together, when I was a kid/teen.
      - At the time I'm making these notes (10th of August), I am on medication that means that I can't take codeine too; this would probably be a good cue for RCing since I know it would be dangerous to actually take the codeine currently.
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