dream fragment

4th March 2021

Scraps:

T needed a bug killer or repellent? Asks me for guidance on soldering and installing a micro noise generator PCB.

Something Dark Souls-esque. I remember interact with a user interface menu, mostly having a look?

6th March 2021

Dream:

After some sequence about trucks and driving and a very vast area in some kind of half-real/half-game world, exploring a map or level? Me and H are arriving at the building door for my old apartment building. There's a man in the lobby and I don't feel like going in? A car drives past, going up on the curb. It sounds like dad's car and is the same colour so I tell H to look. But then I realise it's not dad and his car because it's actually a Toyota (though in the dream I mistake it for a Mitsubishi, a mistake I commonly make in waking life, but for some reason realised instantly to be wrong as I wrote the recall).

The car makes laps around the cul-de-sac. I remark that it must simply be using the same engine. At this point it feels like just before sunset. The shadows' directions in the dream would be agreeable to this.

Then me and H are going around a mix of my old home town/L. We're checking off things from a checklist on my phone. It's night time and the area we're in is a busy part of the city. There seem to be festive decorations of some kind.

I have some subconscious awareness of Covid but nobody is wearing masks, including myself. The next thing on the list is that we have to visit a chapel. I want to loop up the nearest one on my phone but I have a feeling there's one nearby, maybe an in-dream memory of one.

We walk towards a riverside/quay area and H leads. As I try to look it up on the phone we gain some distance from each other but I also feel awkward looking things up on my phone, I feel embarrassed of someone looking for some reason.

(recall gap)

We are inside a chapel, it's really small and cramped. The ceiling isn't much higher than head level. There's a small altar with some stained glass behind it, making it evident that it is now day time, though I don't realise this change in the dream itself.

I have an in-dream memory or something of talking to mom about this chapel and we discuss(?) something about the chapel being more valuable not for its physical worth but because of how it brings people together. Something then happens and there are a lot of people in the church now, getting into all the pews and some communal discussion is had?

1st March 2021

Fragment:

I'm in the kitchen with the intent of cutting up some ginger root. I do that, or chop it up, not sure. I want to feel its scent and get my nose right up to it, but I don't really get much of it.

H is nearby and questions what I'm doing or something. I think H may be concerned, perhaps because I'm not using a chopping board. For some reason I'm doing this at the countertop area under where the microwave is.


2nd March 2021

Scraps:

Dream about drawing, but not sure what or what media. Another vague dream, about Supernatural; me and H were supposedly the Winchester brothers.

Fragment:

I am at my old home, with H, in the staircase area of the apartment building. H goes up by lift and I was supposed to come with but I hesitate because I notice the neighbours' door to be open. I am concerned, wondering if they're dead or if something's happened, so I go in and have a brief look around. At this point I become aware that I don't have a mask on, so instead I pull my t-shirt (red?) over my face as a covering.

Without going further than the hall, I look into the kitchen and see a lady there. She looks at me oddly at first, I explain why I came in and she is grateful for my intent; we then both say goodbye to one another politely and I leave; I think she or I close the door now. I now go to use the lift.

(recall gap)

I'm at some wedding now, H is by my side and some members of my family are here. H is disappointed they are using an electronic organ instead of a traditional one. I get the feeling this area is at the top of the building.

---

Notes:
- In waking reality we had left the ginger on that location after buying it and it just stayed there since then.
- Oddly enough, later that day I ended up using a bit of it to make a curry, but until I actually came to doing it, I hadn't been expecting to do so. Perhaps it would have been a good time for a RC too, but I didn't realise the connections until later.

27th February 2021

Fragment:

(was a long dream but only recalled bits and pieces)

Me, H, J and S; we're all meeting up at some rocky place. They parked their car in a small rocky alcove, I think we go and see the car?

As they found out, it was wet and the bottom part of their car is getting too wet. In this semi-flat rocky area there are some waves of pure and clear water, not more than an inch high. The area is slightly sloped down away from the rocky alcove bit but the small waves of water still climb with ease.

I talked to J about it and we discuss the underground water tables. I don't remember getting wet or feeling wet from standing in the shallow water.

Then something about us driving elsewhere. J was in their own car and we were in ours. H gives me his phone so I can text her if needed. But I suggest it may not be a good idea since she'll be driving too. (S was seemingly gone from the dream at this point?)

During the drive, I think we discuss food and how we should maybe stop for lunch somewhere along the way. I think we were going to but then we don't? I know that we do go past a place and I mention this and H remarks with "well, too late now" as we drive past.

We arrive at a lab of some sort. They do advanced soil analysis here? We get into a conflict with the personnel because they are apparently doing something evil.

There's a mini turret that tries to shoot at us but me and H approach it covertly and work to disable it. I end up simply disconnecting the neutral cable, not fully expecting it to work, but it does.

I think we then confront some of the personnel/research team.

26th February 2021

Fragment:

(didn't make enough effort to recall after initial awakening)

I'm in a town or city of some kind. I am trying to find presidents, from Russia and the USA.

In a parking lot, I see a limousine and check there, but they're not there? Or maybe the Russian one is.

Fragment:

Another dream, with H. I'm sitting at a desk and H is standing.

H sort of slaps or flicks a mug that is on top of a speaker or a screen and it flies my way with a rotating motion and lands perfectly in my hands as I sort of try to catch it. I become upset in some way at H for doing this.

---

Notes:
- It's not the first time I've had a dream about politicians, though because of the vague recall I can't really say how they related to me in the dream.
- The second fragment probably relates to one of those things I can imagine H doing on a whim, either for fun or as a prank of sorts.

20th February 2021

Dream:

Me and H are a nightclub which we own in the dream. It's like an expanded and stripped out version of our kitchen. It's a shady place. Though we don't allow drug dealing, it still happens, some people even talk openly about it in front of us. The lighting is moody; a mauve or red-like ambience. We have just recently installed some kind of small curtain things around these arcade console things lining the walls of the club.

The place is very busy, packed pretty much. I recall seeing people were playing WoW in some form on these arcades, the curtains were supposed to provide a bit of extra privacy at a glance, but they didn't drape very far down, so someone standing up would mostly have the upper half of the screen blocked from their view.

Eventually me and H cease to exist and it becomes more like I'm watching something I think. There are still two club owners, now they are a couple too, a tall and muscled man and a woman, somewhat Arabic in look. Both could be from my native country.

Some person they talk to at one point who is using one of the arcades, reveals something important about gossip that's going around? This person asks the wife if she is wearing the new... whatever it's called in the dream, but it's slang for a skirt-type of clothing which is now considered to be sexy and naughtywear. More stuff happens at the club but I don't recall it.

(recall gap)

Then like I'm watching a dramatised documentary of some kind, there's an implicit feel of it being in some place like Jerusalem or Russia. I see backstreet, vacant type of places.

Small bits of life for people of different religious backgrounds are shown. It's implied that in groups, sometimes people bully single individuals of other groups, despite the fact that this place is supposed to be a place for all to come together. I recall a scene where this Catholic boy is being chased away by some Orthodox teens or something.

Fragment:

An earlier dream. In a subway, me and a large organised group of individuals, part of some stealth ops type of thing and with appropriate gear. We are boarding a train and I remember we go through tunnels. Recall is too vague for details though.

18th February 2021

Dream:

In a version of our home and street. The van is outside and it was open in order for me to do something?

Our street looks like it's part of some city like Paris, I don't know. To the right and beyond where there's that intersecting road, there are much taller buildings. I recall something about having to wait. Maybe I have a backpack. Our front door is open. At several points throughout the dream I alter the colours of our house, both interior and exterior. I remember we have some kind of small tiled mosaic floor. I eventually become satisfied with a sandy colour scheme with red accents.

I remember I see a dream neighbour down the street. He's walking a dog or something and I'm concerned about it pooping near our door, but in reality they are too far for it to matter.

I don't remember what kind of day it is, maybe sunny but light looks overcast. At some point while I'm waiting I get into a random car across the street, it's red maybe? When I get in I'm suddenly on a first floor level, but I don't realise or care about this in the dream. I think at one point I see a man from one of the windows (right side of the car, I was looking out left initially) and we talk.

(recall gap)

The next thing I remember, I'm in a car with two people. I'm on the front passenger side, which is on the right (though I don't realise this in the dream). One person is a man and the other I can't recall. We're in a very busy area of a city like L but bigger, wider roads. We're on a four or five lane road approaching a very complicated and busy intersection.

Me and the man are having a conversation. We're discussing building a computer while the lights are still red. He's apparently from the past and is asking me about how hardware prices have changed and I presume he means over the last twenty years.

In the dream, I think I feel I was in a further future time than in reality. I tell him, some things like USB and other small accessory stuff are a bit cheaper, but not much. Otherwise most other things remain more or less the same but with very good specs.

The lights at this intersection become green and we start going. On the right there's a diagonally intersecting road we're merging with, it has just as many lanes and it's busy too and then there's an ambulance trying to come across from the opposite direction. I am quiet for now to let the driver concentrate, but once we are out of the complex situation, we resume discussion.

Fragment:

Bins and recycling are being collected. I forgot to put things out? And I try to do it then seeing as I still think they're about to collect it. But I don't see the collecting hi-vis people anymore by the time I get outside. Some other people are here, they are looking through bags. They tell me they are from some charity, they mention it by name. I forget what we talk about but I recall they were looking for clothes primarily.

Notes:
- Both sections of the longer dream relate to home in some way. Present home, past home and past-would-be home, I feel.
- The apprehension about the neighbour walking the dog may stem from the fact that lately dogs seem to have taken a liking to our door for doing their needs.
- Somewhat related, the part about re-decorating the house may

13th February 2021

Fragment:

I'm talking to my mom. The shadows in my eyes are bothering me on some level and I possibly say something about it. She looks at me, alarmed, noticing and telling me that there are some kind of wisps growing out of the centre of my eyes. I cannot feel or see them, but feel they are related to the shadows.

I remember talking to H and I ask him to help me call someone about it. I display some issue of confidence in trying to get this sorted out.

Then I am at a mall place? Looks like the one from my home town. Feels small and cramped but only a few people are around. I am not wearing a mask and I'm here to try and find an optician. I ask one if they can see me and they tell me I'll have to see doctor (recall gone) and that I should try looking elsewhere or something. Just nearby there's a group of people about to go on some tour?

A chunkier fellow notices I'm not wearing a mask and gives me an operating theatre looking type.

Notes:

- Even after waking, I've been left with this strange sensation in my eyes, even about half an hour later.
- These shadows have been particularly bothersome lately, for at least a month or so, since they've been sitting mostly at the centre of my vision.

10th February 2021

Notes:

Haven't made much effort to recall, though initial recall was decent. Lately I've still been struggling to get up, but managed to get up at quarter past ten today.

Dream vividness has been a bit lower I think, though I can't say with certainty, possibly because I haven't been taking Vitamin B so much after re-reading up on B6's half-life.

Trying to not fall asleep again, my mind became distracted with random drawing ideas for my characters. Part of my issue at the moment seems to be I can't manage to feel compelled to record anything in the morning, possibly made worse by the fact I'm not getting up at what I'd consider a "good time". Partly sunny this morning.

12th February 2021

Fragments:

Bit about Discord. V sends me a message about some video, but the video link isn't on the private message, it's on my server. I think I wonder why he did this.

I check out the video; it shows what I in the dream assume to be his school, a high school? My presence enters the video. In a classroom, there's some kind of exercise about characters drawn on the chalkboard and they resemble Pokemon or something. Recall is too vague.

Another bit, outside in a town or village with H. We're getting in our out of the van. I remember narrow pavement and cobbled roads as well as a certain hilliness; it has a feel of my native country. Something political but entirely fictional happens in this dream segment; recall details are gone.

7th February 2021

Scraps:

Something about being outside with H. I see -14C on some temperature monitor. At some point I comment on how it feels just the same as 5C or something to that effect. It's a dingy and relatively cloudy day, can't remember anything else.

4th February 2021

Fragment:

I'm with JC, we're walking together through an alternate version of my town. I remember asking him about his family's cafe or something, I ask if it was located near his house (I visualise it a bit) and I'm generally asking him questions about things I'm sure we've talked about in waking life, when we knew each other.

Initially we had been at some kind of school or public building, leaving. We walk through the areas of town, which are much more open than usual, but the buildings seem proportionately expanded as well. We're headed somewhere specific, towards where my home is, but I forget the exact destination. I feel we're walking from the physically lowest part of town. It's day time but I think I remember a sunset at some point.

Fragment:

(Complicated dream, vague recall.)

Something about being in some starships and some kind of ancient device on a planet. A wild grain field of sorts, that's where the device is located. I and four others come to it, and it requires five people in total to activate. It forms a sort of pentagon if it were viewed from above. It's comprised of five adjoining capsules of sorts. We get in them and they are like lifts, taking us down. We are then inside some starship of an ancient design, resembling ancient Mayan stylistically. It's a rectangular stepped pyramid with powerful thrusters, effectively. I remember it breaks through the crust and the thrusters smoke a lot, seemingly struggling a bit too.

Fragment (FA):

I'm in bed with H or something. It looks like my parents' old room but with a layout more like our bedroom. There's a unit with a seven-segment display across the room, it says 20:16? Eight PM, either way. I tell H that we'd stayed in bed far too long. H seems surprised but doesn't do much to get up? We're both naked, I think.

I then remember being in our office room and thinking it's amazing that it was still day time at 20:16, more specifically at this time of year, but I do not question reality.

(Recall mixed here.)

On the computer, playing BL. Trying to find my way through some portals, with H, so we can get to KH. I end up on a dead-end player-owned location. It looks like a nice location, but I feel annoyed for wasting my time.

---

Notes:
- The false awakening was unusual. For one thing, I rarely have false awakenings at all. The dream presented some very obvious dream signs that I did not pick up on at all and I still managed to find myself in amazement.
- Recall was overall poor because of having to get up to answer the door somewhat abruptly and then I returned to bed wanting to get up soon, but didn't, falling asleep again.

31st January 2021

Fragment:

I am in the kitchen. It's a day like it has been lately, kind of cloudy, a sort of desaturated natural light. Out of the kitchen's window it's not like how it should be, it's more like there's a driveway and there's a big van parked there but still it doesn't block much of the view or light somehow. There's a similar van parked over at next door's too.

I open the cupboard where we keep the glasses? I grab and take out one of the blue ones, put my upper lips over the edge and sort of feel it melt a bit; the glass still feels rigid like glass but as I start biting into the top rim, it's a soft chew and there's something pleasurable about it. I get erotic thoughts somewhat unrelated to the glass itself but related to the sensations and M/M themes.

Fragment:

I'm with someone, perhaps T? We're riding on the back of a winged creature, flying high in a somewhat mountainous area. There's an MMO feel to things but it feels distinctly real too. I see us in third-person for the most part.

Using a long gun-cannon thing, I am shooting at a somewhat generic 50ft reptilian below past some ridges and canyons; he is otherwise engaged in combat with other humans down there, in a semi-flat area. The shots I fire are highly explosive and I aim for vulnerable parts of the head, trying to "break" them, like if this was the game Monster Hunter.

As I was about to break a part of the rear of the head, someone else does and I don't get credit it for it, and become annoyed. This happens once more on another part of the creature's head. I then aim for the eye instead and get credit this time, but at this point there's little left of the head apart from the lower jaw. He still lives somehow and is still in combat with the humans.

(gap)

I'm going through a mine-shaft like tunnel on the side of a ravine, parts of it are enclosed by rock, others are open to the outside. I am trying to go to a place that will let me head down, to an area like where the creature was.

Fragment:

Something about WoW. I'm in a large city and I have some kind of Honour points I can spend. The place reminds me of a mix of Dalaran, Exodar and Shattrath and it is flying in the sky as Dalaran would be. I come to a central hall of sorts, there are energy bridges and energy surfaces that I can walk on. I approach an NPC and see what PvP equipment I could buy with what little honour I have.

Fragment:

Something about being in Brazil or some other South American country. There's a distinct feel of advanced technology throughout the dream. High-tech structures and such like, though I don't remember seeing much of it. I am or was at some sort of resort or house away from everything, in a hilly and mountainous area overlooking a large river.

I remember little of my own presence in the dream. The dream plot focuses on a serpentine creature, it is red and its scales are small relative to its size. It has been dormant for untold years and it wants to ruin all of the technology that has been brought about. The dream implies that it's not the first time this has happened and that it's part of a recurring cycle.

The creature's size is comparable to the mountains in the area. I remember it could communicate telepathically or something.

---

Notes:
- The order is not chronological, the first fragment was the last I had this morning.
- One of my right hand fingers is particularly sore because of an injury and I was unable to write any initial notes for any of these fragments because of it, bits of recall just remained and came back as I wrote.
- The fragment in the kitchen is reminiscent of how I come to certain creative ideas sometimes, often through some physical sensations.
- The day in the kitchen was remarkably like what it was like when I actually went in the kitchen for the first time today, though I think it looked less messy in the dream, more normal.
- The red end-bringing serpent and the cycle seem to be a somewhat obvious but less literal Ourobouran reference.

Recall could have been better yesterday and today I was unable to retain it anyway, mostly due to how nights/mornings have been going I think.

28th January 2021

Fragment:

At home, following a diagonal run of cabling in the wall around the stairs or the first landing. I notice wet patches in parts of the cable runs, as if there's water leaking into those areas or a pipe is also running there and is burst.

27th January 2021:

Fragment:

Night time. Some part in a house. Mom and her friend MJ? Something taking S out for a walk. (recall gap) At the house door, I'm in bare feet. S is outside and a bit "on the loose". She's three times her normal size, making her bigger than a lion. Her body shape seems elongated?

From my position standing in the doorway, I see a German Shepherd approach with a man from the left and become concerned the dogs will fight. The GS first comes up to me and licks my face and generally wants attention. This part feels very vivid and real.

Then the dogs spot each other and get fighty. I am reluctant to go out with bare feet to deal with this but S just comes up to the GS and I then try and hold her by her collar, though her size is making it difficult.

(Think I woke up, it was early. I remember thinking I didn't want to bother writing notes yet and that I would try and simply recall the dream later. At this point I remember thinking about my switch in the way Occipitalred suggested. I remember the positions accurately and feel them mentally, toggling it a couple of times there.)

Semi-Lucid Fragment:

I'm outdoors somewhere? Night time still. I remember old school mates and friends. MB is here too. Me and my friends get into a sort of pretend game with real guns, fighting each other. I see an RPG launcher and grab it, everyone becomes afraid of me, except MB, kind of. I shoot a few rockets at him, they sort of just bounce off instead of exploding but they hurt him anyway. I try to really kill him, as I remember on some level what he represents.

Later I'm in some kind of office-like place with H and I remember we had been having fun and I'm naked and have fluids on me. But as I'm walking somewhere to get myself clean in the dark, I become semi-lucid. I simply know I'm dreaming and realise I don't need to do any such thing such as cleaning myself. I try to will the mess away but it doesn't happen and I conclude it doesn't matter. I step over on to desks and over cubicle separators and despite the darkness I feel I can move around easily. I feel a level of energy that I have rarely known in waking life, and notice no pain. But lucidity eventually fades.

(Recall is poor, I think because after this I continued dreaming and being asleep and the level of awareness dropped. I think this was kind of a WBTB but somewhat delayed. This dream felt like it was the start of being asleep again, anyway. My level of awareness and overall lucidity was somewhat poor.)

Fragment:

Something about a challenge involving putting on the one ring? Not sure if this was a dream or a thought while awake at some point. No clear visuals.

Dream:

A dentist's office of sorts, but seems built into a larger hospital. Doctor Cameron from "House" is here and she's here for an appointment. The dentist is a female of similar age and build, different hair and face.

They are discussing some sort of serious treatment option. Cameron has forgotten part of what had happened last time she was on the chair. The dentist then suggests letting Cameron hear the audio log.

Cameron is definitely distraught about what happened and the fact that she can't remember it at all. The dentist says that she can hear the tape when they both go over to Cameron's friends' place, which is implied by context of tapes and something else that it will be mine/H's place. Cameron tells her that she's gay and implies she'd like to hook up with her before coming over to our place or something.

25th January 2021

Fragment:

Something Daikatana-like? I visit several dream locations but a few of those are marshes like in the first act of the game.

I remember going into a disused entrance. Dark, wet. Some blue light or reflection from the water. Vines and so on? I'm here to find a body and destroy it, a friend or ally's body. Someone else is either with me, or guided me here.

26th January 2021

Dream:

I'm browsing the usual art site. I'm looking at someone's profile and see that I'm on some list of skilled artists this person likes, I think I am surprised by this, but appreciative.

Later, I return to the same profile? I see I am no longer on that list and spot an entry talking about the reasoning behind including each artist under a specific category. I'm listed apparently because of some KH (from BL) piece I made. They also mention how and why they chose to exclude me from their favoured artists' list, but I forget the details.

There's an animation on this entry... It's their main character, a dark-blue, almost black furred wolf/canine. The animation loops and the character grins as he cuts off the ring finger from his right hand.

I feel disappointed, or hurt.

Dream:

I'm outside, a typical city of some kind. I'm not wearing a mask and feel that I should be. I'm at a sports area and there are dozens of people of all ages, including young kids, though I think mainly kids. I become concerned because none of these people doing sports or playing outdoor games are wearing any masks. It makes me apprehensive and I almost feel as though I can see the particulates of their normal breathing in the air.

I leave this area. I remember some roads. It's day time but I forget what the sky is like exactly. I'm walking through some street under an overpass. Someone is walking along with me but I forget who. We are having a conversation and we pass several people, some don't make any effort to move out of our way even though we are practically up against a wall on the side anyway. I feel apprehensive again about transmission.

I can't recall where we go or end up.

---

Notes:
- Maybe it's only natural that I've been getting these dreams about the art browsing again. Lately I have been a bit more active and have felt the same anxieties and maybe frustrations that I was feeling around the last times I was having this sort of dream.
-- I think I felt so hurt because I feel people are so changeable and I have been finding it very difficult to connect with anyone in that world. Too often I end up feeling just too different despite having virtually similar interests.

- The outdoor dream had a grey or desaturated feel to it.

24th January 2021

Fragment:

(at the end of a long segment about family)

Uncle M mentions "Bucaccus"; it is apparently some kind of organ, gland or hormone? He apparently had many issues with it when he was my age and suggested I get it looked at. I remember previously in the dream I had been having some kind of tantrum, throwing things. I apologised to my uncle and someone else there, an old woman?

Fragment:

Waiting for a train in a subway station. I'm wearing one of those new and modern drawing gloves on my right hand. I'm writing some kind of story on the palm of that glove on my right hand. I don't make notice of the fact that I was using my left hand to do so.

The train eventually arrives and I get in; then when I get out somewhere else, I find that my little story has rubbed off completely and is gone and I try to remember what I had written.

Fragment:

Looking at some profiles on an art site. One of these profiles has thirteen thousand people who are basically subscribed to it. Part of the page seems odd and the dominant layout colour is incorrect to what it should be in waking life, it's a deep blue in the dream.

As I scroll down I find extra sections, like multiple featured text posts with commenting areas of their own. There's also some section labelled "high-profile banned/blacklisted users". I look through this section, which only has a dozen of usernames, and find that some usernames start similar to mine but mine isn't on the list, I feel some sort of relief?

This person's profile has a lot of issues with spamming?

Fragment:

I'm in my old home, my room. I'm visiting. I am upset for some reason? And then there's some kind of hybrid species woman; she's part octopus and she's sad for some reason. Her mom is here too and has the same features, but her mom has a blue tinge and she has a pink-ish tinge.

In any case, I try to comfort her, but she is resistant to any comfort I try to offer. I remember at one point we touch one another a bit, half sensually, half not, like a strange dance? I am curious about the tentacles and she lets me touch them. This implies some trust on her part, I feel.

The suckers nip on my skin but much less harshly than I expected; I feel that she has control over this and has made it so as to not hurt me.

Her mother says something about how she could just cut off her tentacles if she's that sad (comes across as half-serious/half-sarcastic) and that they'll grow back. Her mother warns her however, that it will take months to regrow them and that during sleep she'll be waking up to what feels like every five minutes and bleeding or something.

I tell her that she should do no such thing. I feel the mother's suggestion was too serious and that it would cause so much more damage than good.

---

Notes:

- The last fragment feels strangely ironic considering how I am feeling right now about something.
- The tentacles had ends that were more squid-like than octopus-like, come to think of it.
- I think it's been a while now since I dreamt of any subways or trains. It had also been a while since I dreamt about a website, specifically an art one.