dream fragment

18th April 2021

Fragment:

I'm in a place that in some ways resembles my old home, but it's a dream generated location. Reminds me of the newer part of the city (L) by the river. At some point I'm with my old school friend Da? I'm not sure if we're actually doing something together or not. There seems to be some kind of animosity between us.

Then I remember an open arena or amphitheatre place. There's lot's of people here, mostly people I knew as a teenager besides a dream crowd. Something about football? JC has the ball and he runs away with it at his feet. Two other guys, one of them Mi from earlier years of school, they're chasing after us. I seem to be able to run faster than everyone else in the dream but I feel slow myself. I suggest that I take the ball or something but I remember at that point noticing I have my boots on and remembering that it never worked too well with boots on.

(I wake up at some point for my alarm)

Fragment:

I'm with mom, we're on a street somewhere. It's day time but not quite? We're waiting to cross a road and this double-width lorry/bus thing appears and stops at a junction, blocking us from crossing. It has lights inside and is full of musical instruments or something, seemingly just thrown in as junk, essentially. I tell mom we should put in some of the stuff we have, but she's not feeling so sure about it.

Out of her handbag, I take out full-sized electric guitars I think, at least four of them, one was red. One by one, I shove them into an open window at the top, that I can somehow reach. It feels a bit like a recycling drop off place. Mom's bag is now much lighter and I hope that this will be helpful for her.

There was something about dad and L boarding this vehicle before. But anyway, soon it starts moving and goes away. The dream scene changes and we are now in a shop like a supermarket. We're in or nearby a fridge aisle. Mom goes off to find something? I forget what I do, but I don't go the same way as her.

---

Notes:

- I have been trying to set intentions around the lucid dreaming party before bed but sometimes I get distracted or end up losing my train of thought/the focus on it.

- I haven't spoken to Da in a long time. Sometimes I see him online but neither of us have started conversation. Recently conversations have started with old friends but they end up not leading into much. It has left me feeling a bit disappointed on some level.

- Recently had some discussions about music with someone I know.

- Both dreams were much longer but these were the bits of recall that came easily.

17th April 2021

I did have recall for quite a few dreams but I got up later than I wanted to and then had stuff to do that meant I couldn't really dwell on the dreams much, being able to only hold on to this fragment throughout all of today.

Fragment:

I am not sure where I am, but my left leg is most of what I remember being in focus. There's some light, so it's probably at home or alike. I'm picking a spot on my leg and

Spoiler for possibly graphic:

then when I burst the spot, pus comes out and makes a sort of stiff pillar, but then it collapses and something red comes out, not quite blood, more like a vein. It coils itself up a little.

I feel slightly worried about the situation at first and press down on the vein and it goes back to how it should be and I feel fine again.

---

Notes:
- I recently went to an appointment and it was sort of about my right leg and potentially a hernia.

- In the dream the feeling of worry turned into panic for a second, which is what led me to press down on the vein, but all the associated feelings were very momentary. There was a fair bit of physical sensation going on.

16th April 2021

Dream:

I am in someone else's lucid dream. It's someone I used to know, maybe L's friend, J? Not quite, but there's another friend too. It looks a bit like a small church, lots of dark stain wood. I think there's a greater proportion of wood than there is stone, I seem to recall.

Anyway, since I'm not actually lucid myself, I think about testing a theory. I think of asking my friend to give me moderator privileges as if this was a Minecraft server. But I am unable to catch up to ask him, as he moves around. So I end up trying commands by myself, like the teleport-jump to where I'm looking. The commands sort of work. Although I am unsure of how to even do this, somehow, I intuitively bind the commands to my mind or something, so no typing is required.

But I'm not lucid and yet I am reminded by all of this about a technique I read here on DV a couple of days ago. Before I try a teleport-jump or a through command, I spend a couple of seconds visualising the result a bit, but really it's too faint. It does help my non-lucid self use these commands though.

I remember this part of the dream was highly detailed but I can't recall any further about it now. Transition?

I'm in a restaurant with my family. We're leaving soon? The place seems to be mixed with old home or something. But I need to go to the bathroom. It doesn't seem especially clean in here. I try the stall, as I have privacy concerns and as I'm about to pull my pants down, I realise that there's no toilet at all in the stall, just a tiny plastic bin. Outside the stall, in the bathroom, there are only wall urinals. I exit the stall and entering the bathroom is a black woman, she has curly hair, a somewhat round but well defined face, she's about my height and probably a similar age.

I tell her I wouldn't bother with the bathroom at all, and just wait until home. She seems disappointed by this. I walk out of the bathroom.

(recall gap)

Then I'm at my old home, but think to myself that I'm not actually there or something. (pre-lucid thought about real location?) There's just some feeling, anyway.

Me and the rest of the family are getting ready for something? It's early morning I think. Mom says dad needs some apples and I tell her I can go get them (since I feel ready anyway) and I shout for dad, asking what kind he wants. I don't remember hearing a reply back. Eventually I think about just teleporting to outside the store below. But something stops me and it just doesn't work. I remember being in my old room and seeing outside, standing from the doorway to the room. Light seems consistent with early-ish morning.

Some other sequence. I'm in some place in South America. Swamps or marshes. A flatbed ship carrying containers is on the water but there are some buildings around, sort of in an Arabic style more than a local one. I try to get on board the ship and then look for some circuit board chips? Some interactions with someone else, possibly an old friend.

Another bit, possibly the earliest sequence in the dream. A visual and physical representation of the old art website? Very vague recall of this bit. Looks sort of like a disco club, with certain elements like the web banner physically represented as a room backdrop. Someone talks to me about the computing efficiency of the VFXs being used. Vague recall of thoughts about how much I charge for commissions, feeling like it's not enough.

---

Notes:
- I was not actually "lucid" at any point throughout this dream. My dream self was somehow partly aware of this by the implied context of the dream and with the commands thing tried to devise a way of having abilities more akin to what's possible when actually lucid.

- There are a few things here that challenge recent conscious thoughts, namely; my commission prices, my initial thoughts about the technique linked in the entry and some recent thoughts on shared dreaming. Basically the dream presented opposites for all of these things, I don't think necessarily for me to accept them but to generally think about them further.

- Using the commands to have lucid-like abilities in the dream felt like a pretty clever idea at the time, especially since it partially worked.

- Curiously, the church location may have been brought on by the fact that I have spent a fair bit of time with H both in real churches and in church-like buildings he's built in Minecraft.

15th April 2021

I left recall too long and didn't make any initial notes.

Scraps:

In WoW, with a friend, I'm a rogue or a warrior, possibly a mix. We're chasing after another player, we're somewhere sort of flat? I remember swapping my enchantments on the fly after killing something, because the kill yielded required loot for doing this swap. I remember putting crusader enchantments and seeing them proc on fighting the player we'd been chasing after.

Something about being somewhere with or talking to both L and T, maybe at the same time.

Notes:
- Last night I did try setting an intention again for the lucid dreaming party but unfortunately I lost focus before too long for some reason I can't recall.

- There were several other dreams I had initial recall of in the morning, but the lack of initial notes just made even the faintest details be lost by the time I made this entry.

10th April 2021

Fragment:

I'm in space, in a ship. It feels like a mix of Elite, Rebel Galaxy and Starpoint Gemini. Space is mostly realistic though, black with stars, no fancy nebulae or anything like that. I remember at one point there was something about overriding speed safeties and using a manual control to improve time taken getting somewhere.

I'm cruising at a high warp speed, not sure how fast, but fairly fast as I come toward the surface of some astral object, I become unable to slow down enough and bounce off the surface. On an interface I see I lost about 75% integrity. There are local armed defence systems and I re-engage a warp speed to get away from here.

I remember interacting with someone, a friend or family maybe?

There was a lot more to this dream but I left it too long and having made no initial notes, rest of recall is lost.

8th April 2021

Scraps:

(chronology unknown)

I'm in a ship in space. There's a Freelancer feel to things but things look more realistic. I'm flying with two escorts through some kind of debris field and when we encounter some hostiles I shoot one of my wingmen by accident at one point. My ship has enough firepower that it's pretty much a one-shot kill and a message comes up and tells me I have failed the mission. I can't understand it because the wingmen were not marked as mission-critical.

I click retry or something but then I'm doing different things. Vague recall of a more normal Freelancer sequence where I'm in an Eagle and using Salamanca weapons. Intense manoeuvring.

Some other sequence. Also in a game of some kind? Doing some kind of time-trial thing and there's a score multiplier that goes up to x30. It works like the DOOM arcade trials in a sense but the game itself is a mix of RoR2 and something else, having a more crude feel to it. There's a swampy area I go through and maybe some kind of ancient temple. The ambience seems a bit grungy and not particularly bright.

Another thing, relating to the space bit. I am in some kind of station, it's advanced. There's a lot of green and black and I think there are many enemies. My relative power level to theirs is massively superior but it still takes a little bit of time to clear enemies. I'm trying to get to an access or lift perhaps. The area has a very open-design kind of look and is like some kind of massive sci-fi raid dungeon.

3rd April 2021

Some in-line thoughts and notes.

Dream:

I am in a car with H. We are driving down a hilly area. I'm sitting facing the back of the car, but I'm in the copilot seat next to H who is at the driver's seat. The steering is not on the side it should be. It's sunny and I can see sharp shadows from the sunlight. H doesn't seem to b ewearing sunglasses or straining despite direct sunlight in his eyes.

Behind us, or in front of me, I see a teal van coming down the same road. As they get close I see through our windows it's an old man and his young daughter. They are somewhat playfully fighting over the wheel but it concerns me. It's not somethign to fool around with, I feel. And I fear they may collide with us as they are going past us.

There's a transition but I don't become aware of it in the dream. I am now walking towards a table which seems to be part of an esplanade on a plaza. It's in a tight spot between two buildings with white painted render.

H is sitting down at the table and I take the seat directly in front of him. Adjoining our table is another table. Sat to my right, is the girl from before. I try to tell her something about some dangers? And then, before I talk about the whole steering thing, H tells me not to bother and I realise at this point that I have no memory of the last few minutes.

I think I ask about what happened but don't get a clear answer and now the father is also coming back and sitting in front of his daughter at the table. We each have a meal, but oddly enough I don't pay any attention to mine.

Before all this. Me and H are in a town. It's dark and night time. Can't see too well except for some faint light at the edge of street light fall-off, away from where we are. We are going back to the car but H can't remember where it is exactly, but I did know exactly where it was. The car was like dad's car?

Before that, not sure what the place is anymore. Looking through a cabinet of some sort. There are drawing pads and other things. Me and H talk, they apparently belong to a childhood friend of his, called Tania. I ask what kind of things she drew? He tells me that when they played in the garden she would pretend to have superpowers she'd imagined/come up with and she drew some furry characters, in answer to my question. I vaguely recall seeing one or two drawings, focusing on faces and muzzles.

Fragment:

Before the other dream, before the first morning awakening. Something in a town, medieval-like but also old home like? There's a WoW feel. My old best friend, D is present in the dream somehow and we talk or something. There's something about T3 gear and tanking. I can't remember anything else but even writing about this made me feel nostalgic for some reason, not just for the game but for this friend too.

4th April 2021

Scraps and fragment:

Dream recall mostly faded and no notes taken. I remember at the end of one dream, I realised faintly that I was dreaming and so it was time to wake up or something. There was a hazard situation? But I'm not sure in what context now.

I had a very long dream sequence. In the dream I am in a dark land. I think it was brighter before, but it was night time and I am in some countryside area. In the distance I see burning towns and things like that. The path I am walking along is patrolled by demons accompanied by a dog-like creature on a chain lead. I am able to use some sort of invisibility ability, every twelve seconds or so. It lasts just long enough that I can hide in a corner and when they go past me, I use the ability to make sure they can't see me. I feel like there's some kind of spotlight on the three of us.

The dog senses me on some level but they leave and my invisibility fades and I move along. There are other patrols and so instead of continuing down this road going downhill I instead take an uphill fork in the road, which is narrower and seemingly goes unpatrolled. I don't feel any negative emotions, but I suppose I just feel neutral about everything.

Transition? I am at a town of some sort. It's seemingly the last surviving settlement in this area. At some point I see the settlement from an RTS-like point of view. There are many sub-cultures in this town, who are seemingly self-segregating in cultural terms. But I also remember going into shops and talking to people. Life seems normal and there is a modern feel to most things. There were many little plots involving interaction with others in this dream but I don't recall any in enough to detail to remember any of them fully.

31st March 2021

Fragment:

I am somewhere underground, dark. It's like BL but not quite. Someone has discovered a hack or made a mod that lets you directly access certain game stats. I become a lycan creature and find that I can easily mine through the rock in one hit with my claws.

I look for and find gold ore which is also mined easily. I sometimes stumble into large and more open cavern systems. There seem to be bottomless pits in places and in the distance there is light sometimes, lava or something I think I assume.

There's some recall of interacting with other people or characters and a big sequence about conversion (into an energy form) in some cathedral-like place that reminds me of a map I made a couple of years ago, but recall is mostly gone.

(recall gap)

Something about Picard getting into a confrontation with some aliens where the Enterprise is disguised as a vessel like what these aliens have. They don't trust him and they realise the deception. The captain makes some kind of plea in order to try and avoid them from going further towards human space but the aliens seem unwilling to compromise.

Then something about the Enterprise and its crew needing to be offloaded somewhere while the ship is repaired. The captain is on Earth trying to find a suitable temporary location for a camp?

Notes:
- This fragment was from waking up in the middle of the night. I couldn't get back to sleep very easily, I think I was too hot. I did not recall any morning dreams.
- When I woke up, I remember I was thinking about M/M stuff and a server I joined recently, but I'm not sure why. There was no link with the dreaming, that I can tell.

29th March 2021

Fragment:

I'm at my old home. Me, mom and L are home. I can't remember why or how we notice, but we realise that T should be here too but is actually missing. I ask mom if he isn't just downstairs or something. She says they've checked.

The next thing I recall I'm outside, with mom. We're in some streets which don't seem familiar, but I don't have that notion in the dream. Diffused shadows, desaturated light. We look around for T outside the building, which isn't really like ours. I think I notice a bus stop and wonder if he'd used that but become dismissive of the idea.

Later, we are at a square junction. Past a crossing, I spot him and tell mom, I think. We can't cross yet, but he sees us and starts walking away. I notice he's wearing a skullcap hat thing and generally warm clothing. For a moment I mistake another man near him to be him but I realise it's not his face and wonder how I could let myself make that mistake. We eventually cross but we've lost track of him again as he moved away.

Then there's some stairs or something in front of a cafe, going down into the ground. Worn stone steps. I am on my own now, it's darker here? Something about vampires and a dungeon, I recall some kind of yellow sandstone or limestone.

28th March 2021

Fragment:

Some kind of false awakening, dream reality feels accurate to waking life. I get up and then am answering the door? It's early morning and it's sunny outside; the sun's position in the sky would make it late afternoon but in the dream I don't realise this, the light looks morning-like. There's a courier stood by a van on the left or something and I go to him, shielding my eyes from the sun's glare with my right hand. My eyes feel exactly as if I had indeed just gotten up and are taking long to adjust to the bright light and I squint. I take a package from the courier? There are other people around in the street but rest of details not recalled.

Fragment:

I'm in a building. A hall or palace, unsure. I'm part of a faction and I have some kind of battle equipment but little detail recalled and I go on some kind of patrols on my own in a city or town area. Then back at the palace place, one item I recall clearly on a table is an Axis-like medal with a skull at its centre. It's a pendant and it's mine. I take it and it has some kind of interface overlay saying it grants me "+2 fortune". There's some other pendant which I also take and it grants +1.

In the room I'm in, there are two large palace windows to a courtyard. A Nazi officer with some bodyguards or soldiers approach a door next to the windows. He knocks or something and waits patiently, I believe someone answers the door and the officer speaks. "I have been sent to speak to the queen", he says, or something to that effect. The door is shut and the man waits patiently outside, looking somewhat stiff in posture.

It is either dawn or night but it doesn't look so dark outside. Someone goes to get the queen; eventually she appears to my left in a dark corridor. She's in her night clothing and looks rather exposed or vulnerable as far as royalty goes. This is some ancient English queen, but I'm not sure who; possibly queen Victoria, I get a feel of. She stands a distance away from the door and it is opened now; she engages in some dialogue with the Nazi officer. Her face suggests mistrust, disgust and apprehension, possibly more so for having been woken in the night like this.

Notes:
- The second fragment was very long but I cannot recall enough of it to put into words; a lot of it seemed to take place in WH40k-like locations. There was a general feel of futuristic Warhammer mixed with WWII themes to the whole thing.

- The pendant I had also gave that feeling; as far as I can tell, it was like a medal awarded to me for valour in combat; I do not remember what the second pendant looked like. They were both on leather strings.

27th March 2021

Scraps:

(recalled after I sat at my desk)

I am at my computer. I'm checking on Steam or some other similar program and in there I see that AH messages me saying that I "was right, it was a joke", which she then starts to explain in more detail. I feel a mix of anger and mistrust but also relief.

A possible false awakening where my alarm was going off and playing music; but something about the music didn't seem right each time. The environment looked accurate to waking life but foolishly I didn't think to do any types of checks, as I felt quite sleepy.

Notes:
- While in bed last night, had another dialogue with Data as I was falling asleep. This time I could use my own voice and not the captain's. But Data seemed unable to communicate very clearly this time. We talked about dream signs and my inability to either notice them or have them appear, lately, as well as how I have been doing some RCs too routinely sometimes.

- When I recalled the fragment about the conversation with AH, some of the dream feelings described were temporarily present. I proceeded to check that this conversation hadn't actually happened and really was just from a dream.

- Although the environment looked accurate while I was hearing the alarm, I also recall it seemed brighter than it should have done for that time of the morning. I've had dreams where the environment looked so accurate that it was easily acceptable for them to be waking life locations/situations.

21st March 2021

Dream:

At a dining table? Not sure if it's even in a room exactly, but there's a feel of the dining room at my old home. Mom and T are playing some strange eastern game or something involving objects they throw over to each other. The table is long like a festive dining table? Something about decorating it.

The trim of the table has been painstakingly put together from dozens or hundreds of strips of decorative paper or something. Another bit uses some kind of holographic projection. I wonder or ask why it simply wasn't all done with the projection method.

(recall gap)

Some bit in a town. Looks like my native country, streets very similar to that of towns near where I used to live. I'm coming up a hilly bit on foot. There's someone I'm supposed to meet and pick up but I have to tell him I won't be able to. I see him by some kind of public transport stop.

He's a black teen, with short hair. I ask him if he's waiting for one of us, from my family. He confirms that he is. I then explain that I won't be able to take him because I don't have a car right now. Dad or L is using it?

He doesn't seem to be disappointed and explains that he got a vehicle of his own and will be able to use that; it's some kind of trike?

I ask him to be careful, I think I'll feel responsible if he has an accident.




22nd March 2021

Dream:

I'm in a tank, at first in some kind of RTS-like view mode, but soon after moving around this scenario for a bit it changes to a regular (closer) third-person view.

I find some targets along the way and destroy them, as I'm headed somewhere. An enemy base of some kind? The enemy units seem frightened and try to keep as much distance as possible and avoid me. I fire the main cannon but also use the secondary gun to destroy enemy targets.

I remember feeling myself use a keyboard and maybe seeing it too (old yellowed keyboard?) to control cannon pitch and yaw. I also have a secondary type of ammo for the cannon, some miniature warheads, which I use a few times?

Eventually, after all the ground targets are down, I head towards a square-ish hole in the ground. I switch to a first person view now, in which I can see the cannon sticking out. I "crawl" down into the hole slowly, not wanting to fall down as there is a drop and a boss down below. Some kind of giant, an avatar of some deity I think.

I try firing one of the warheads into the room below since I don't actually have direct line of sight to the boss but it doesn't seem to affect it, as a health bar for the boss an a UI remains unchanged.

Hesitant, I eventually go down. I engage this avatar in combat using my main cannon and trying to keep my distance from its swiping. The avatar has a muscled and male form, it's colouration is dark, maybe a black tone like basalt.

He talks to me as he fights, but I cannot recall what about. I don't do much damage and the boss kills me eventually. I respawn in a chamber adjacent to the boss room. The whole place has an ancient classical look to it. Although this passes me by in the dream, it actually reminds me of Act2 levels from Daikatana.

The boss room itself had a very similar look. It is octagonal and with a few (sort of) central pillars. There's a shallow level of water and it looks clear. This water is also present in the other large room I was respawned in.

After a tiny bit of exploring? I try to get the boss to come out of his room since there's actually more room to fight him in this one. It doesn't work though, he's apparently "leashed" and eventually I just go back in the main boss room again.

I can't recall the rest but the dream went on for quite a while.


Notes:
- I don't know why but I feel compelled to register a sudden observation. Lately in dreams I feel there has been some absence of emotion.

- The deity's avatar was probably based off some recent boss fights in some games.

- Although it's unusual that I had some awareness of the keyboard in a way that made me step out of "tunnel vision", for the most part in that dream I was just immersed into its reality in the same way that I am when playing a game in waking reality.

17th March 2021

(didn't capture recall before it faded)

Fragment:

I am driving; I'm in the middle of a fast changing situation?

I made a game of some kind and I'm playing through it. Maybe it's like Doom in gameplay but some part of it makes me think of AvP.



18th March 2021

Fragment:

Black cat, rubbing it under where the rib cage started as it seemed to be where it enjoyed it most. Unusually, this unnerved me a bit for some reason. H is sitting next to me and giving the cat attention too. The cat resembled Y. (in-lne note, it's possible it unnerved me because a dream character is effectively a part of me, and I don't particularly like being touched under or on the sternum but I wouldn't have much of a problem with doing this with a pet if it's what it wanted)

Fragment:

At my old home's town. Driving down through the avenue that is by the church. I'm a passenger. The driving and such are all on the correct side.

I see the cafe that's to my left, the one that has the office supplies shop. It's front end is being expanded, like they're adding on to the in-door esplanade space. In the dream I assume this has something to do with Covid and social distancing.

11th March 2021

Content in spoilers mostly due to length.

Spoiler for Fragment::

In a town that's an altered version of where we live now, but a mix of old home too.

The street where we live joins with a wider and busier street. H has left the car on the road of this street. It's daytime, before noon or so, shadows are slightly cast but it actually feels like early afternoon perhaps.

I get concerned about the car getting hit; it looks like dad's car, but I don't realise this at all in the dream. I don't think H is actually nearby but we're talking, as if he was next to me; not by phone or anything. And I ask him if he wants me to move the car for him, but he doesn't want me to because he's afraid of me hitting something, specifically when reversing, which I think I imagine doing. Imagination blends with regular dream reality?

Nearby, there's a store. I go in it for a reason I don't recall anymore. It's a mix of several types of shop, or also a cafe? I feel awkward because I'm not really making use of the services/shop and so eventually I want to get something. I want a milkshake. I am asked what I want in it and I say I want pineapple, mango and carrot.

(tiny recall gap)

Then, I am somehow shoulder deep, sort of lying down, in some ice inside a chest freezer. But I'm relaxed and don't feel cold at all. A white woman with ginger-ish hair, looking native to where we live, comes by and politely asks me if I want the carrot peeled or not. I say, I do, and she smiles compliantly as she goes outside my field of vision.

I then turn a bit and see she's peeling it with a knife. I perceive she's doing it in a way dangerous to herself (motion away from her) and so I tell her that she doesn't have to put herself at risk like that and that it'll be fine with the peel on, actually.

But she insists in peeling this carrot. I remember the knife was like an orange-coloured one we have in our kitchen, but this blade was a different shape, a bit curved and scimitar-like?

She had to stop as there was a big change now going on, of the staff shifts at this place. Lots of people came downstairs, many went out, many came in.

(recall gap)

Later I'm at a place that is like a converted industrial building. Like many other local buildings in the dream, it's mostly sandstone on the outside, but looks more regular/contemporary inside.

(at this point I turned my recall into scraps because I became distracted as I wrote notes)

I live at this place with H and my siblings. There's also a lady, maybe in her 40s or 50s, who's here with us too. She doesn't resemble anyone I know personally but in retrospect she's a bit like a mix of Cruella and Effie Trinket. This white and skinny lady wants a bathroom put in, because apparently there isn't one. I have no problem with this and think there's a spare room at the other side of the house, but actually there isn't, when I go check.

I go back with her and inspect the hall cupboards she'd mentioned initially as a potential location. I open the door to this cupboard/pantry room and it's huge. It'll be more than fine for a bathroom, I think.

In a corner, there's a bin bag. There's a strange pile of stuff that looks like decomposing organic matter and not unlike animal detritus... There are eggs on it, they are a pale and slightly off yellow-green colour.

The lady fiddles with the bin bag. From this organic pile and under the bag, bugs start to hatch and rats appear. First a few, then many. We end up leaving the house.

Some rats have green fur. Many are the size of a large dog, or bigger. All of these creatures swarm (seemingly) randomly through the town throughout the rest of the dream, but this aspect loses focus in the dream and becomes part of the background in some sense.

I end up meeting up with L and there's some aerial scripted camera view-event. He's playing a game and I remember a screen. There's a weird filmic transition.

Rest of recall is gone.

---

Spoiler for Notes::

- I ended up feeling this dream was quite personal in some ways but I don't think I'll restrict its viewing in this case.

- Maybe the most notable thing is that later this day I had an experience that seemed to relate to something which I ended up reading up on about defecation and rats, in one of my books about symbology. Although normally I don't ascribe a lot of direct value to pre-defined symbolisms like what I read, but it does seem to relate strongly to some aspect of my life. This is something that's part of a very old set of questions for me and its processing has been very slow, to the point where it's been very rare to have threshold moments like this one.

- It's possibly one of the very few times I've dreamt about rodents, if at all. I feel there was a big symbolic implication of (assumed) filth in that pile, as denoted by the eggs too. From another point of view, from such filth there is still life that thrives and is born of itself. On a more basic level I find this relates to a more basic interest in literally dirty things that I have no eagerness to become involved in while fully conscious.

- This dream has come after a few significant things, namely, artwork I've been making for someone, which involved a rodent, as well as discussing things about dirty stuff (again, in the most basic and literal sense) with H and basically forcing myself to challenge my own conscious attitudes of avoiding mess and filth and so on.
-- More importantly, recently I have found myself re-evaluating how I'm presenting myself and my artwork. I had created a separation not unlike what I have with DV and the rest of myself and instinct and intuition are telling me, or driving me, to tear this separation down in my artwork and to stop sharding myself in that respect; to become whole in some sense, with whatever consequences that may have. Oddly, this has also come after some unexpected discussion with L.

- I haven't had any dreams featuring bugs, and pests like this in general, for quite some time and in this dream I did not feel fear or disgust at any of these situations; some mild curiosity, if anything.

9th March 2021

Fragment:

I am playing as my blood elf paladin back from the days of WLK, I have my ICC gear and doing a 5-man dungeon with some people. The healer gets upset that I'm tanking without a shield and as ret, but I soon show him that it's fine and they begrudgingly accept after a small incident where I lost aggro to a damage dealer, because they'd pulled first.

We enter a bigger room after a while of going through a half-pipe corridor in which we cleared some trash mobs. The bigger room has a winding ramp that makes a semi spiral towards the centre of the room. There's a feeling of MoP and classic to the dungeon's look? We fight some more mobs and then I look in a cardboard box in first person? It has weird plastic thing, that in the dream I assume to be organic; they're a vivid green colour.

Fragment:

Partial M/M theme? I'm a big bipedal lizard and when I talk to someone I sound like the lizard I've encountered in my visualisations, including in tone.

I demand something out of a smaller person? But I can't recall what.

Notes:
- I have recently gone through some old footage I had from WoW, from around WLK time and featuring this paladin character. This probably influenced the first dream in context, as this character was particularly strong by the end of the expansion.
- I recall very little of the second dream, but I remember having a lingering feeling of really being in the role of this lizard character.
-- I have recently tried inducing something relating to the black lizard from other dreams but I can't remember if that was since this dream or before.