side notes

I had this weird dream where I moved into a new house & Barbara Jean was there from the tv show "Reba" was there too. She was my neighbor & she didn't act all goofy like on that show.

Then I woke up & thought, damn it I didn't become lucid to do the TOTM! While getting ready for today I was sitting on my bed watching Meesha Cat. She was looking at something & then tried to bat at it. Her eyes went wild & big & she froze. Then she tore out of the room like the house was on fire & left a puddle of pee on my bed... Just FYI, she isn't experiencing some sick cat problem, she is fine. But today I told Mike I thought she has being Dioji. My dog Dioji died in 2008 in a freak pool accident when it was being drained. He was chasing the little puppies & it just happened. I was a mess mourning for 2 yrs over my dog. He was there for me through my last surgery & was glued to me. He was so attached to me that when I would lay down during the day, he would lay next to me, kick me & keep tapping my hand until I held his paw like we were holding hands while we slept. He did this a lot! Very smart dog. After his death both me & my husband have seen him in our house at various times & I saw him just the other day right here in my room where he normally appears. We both think Meesha sees him but just doesn't know how to react to him. He loved our cat Xan & would only try to play w/ another family pet. But that now would explain why she is peeing on my bed. Mystery solved. Yet I still think she must have a bladder problem of some kind though. When she goes for her checked up I'll see what the vet thinks. Even then there isn't a lot u can do for that issue for a cat, unless I hit the lottery in the near future, lol.

9/6 D1: As I was walking all through this dream I was walking in & out of decades & centuries! It was so odd. I was living in a home w/ other women we were always discussing men & women like things. We went to a store where I met a man. The store started out as a wal-mart/k-mart like store but then turned into a very old time store. Someone had stolen something & I went outside but now it was me walking out of a house onto the porch of a house that had a crazy Victorian like look & feel to it! I was still looking for the culprit but as I walked I kept walking in & out of time. Like whatever was there previously was where I was walking. As if many things had been built in the same place over the yrs. The landscape stayed the same. Then things were on fire & I saw a man on fire & melt. It was terrifying.

9/6 D2: I was w/ the same man from before & my parents were saying they were coming to get me. After I had told my parents about the previously mentioned store/house & being in & out of time they said they thought they should come get me. They probably thought I was losing it. They are atheist's & would never understand this concept. I was wanting to spend more time w/ the man I was with but the dream faded as Meesha Cat woke me up.

9/6 D3 & D4: Took a nap. Both were nightmares that I just couldn't hold on to because they were all jumpy & w/ my Veritgo it just made me dizzy trying to think about it. Let alone write it down.

Today: D1: I was in this big Victorian house. I've been in this house before in past dreams but it's been yrs since I've seen it. Friends I used to have were there & I wanted to buy the house. I was showing Mike the house. I spent an immense amount of time just walking through this enormous house because it was so familiar to me. It was greatly detailed. Light fixtures, books, bookcases, doorways ect.

I mention ppl that used to be my friends & by used to be I mean just that. I used to do drugs w/ them in my twenties & got the hell away from them. They were even to this day toxic people.... The house I mentioned could be a past life thing. It was amazing! I could've walked through it all day long!

Today D2: I was in this Dollar Store. I was trying to buy things early for Christmas but as I would pick up a few things & throw them in the basket, I'd look back & the other things I wanted would be gone. Then things from my basket were missing. This process repeated over & over & over.

All Non-lucids

I have vertigo as a result of the last 3 days swimming. I was able to write things down but I'm too dizzy to log it. I'll have to do it tomorrow. Sigh.

Had a couple of of non-lucids but I had to get up early for the last day of the pool. I just didn't have time to write them down but they weren't really memorable hence I wasn't pressed to write them down. However, if I had had a really great one I would've had to make time.

Today was really fun on our last day of swimming & they are always laxed on the last day so I did a cool trick off of the wide slide. I kept my legs wide apart & went into the water head forward into a hand stand in the water & a flip. I did it a whole bunch. Plus we got quite a lot of time w/ the basketball in the water & I scored 25 in a row but in the last 20 minutes Mike finally outdid me. He got 72 in a row! Damn him, lol!!!

Not lucid only. Nothing much by way of dreams since my recall is poor right now. Staying up late & getting worn out swimming w/ Mike during his 3 day vacation for Labor day. Did meditate at the pool a few times over the last couple of days which was relaxing. Also we kicks some water basketball ass at the pool! I'm short & have back issues as most know but I was in my element today. These 3 kids wanted to play against Me & Mike & thought we should we would agree. Two against three was totally not fair so when a third kid piped up we took him on our team & agreed it was fair now. The kids were all "my" heighth & taller. Mike of course is 6 ft. I was the shortest. We ended w/ a score of 60 - 8. I prayed for a good day & I sure got it! Half of the aquatic part has been shut down over the whole 3 days due to lifeguards going back to college. So in the end we are coming up w/ stuff to do in the main pool which does have a cool wide blue/green slide, a yellow basic curve slide, basketball hoop, big pool, diving boards, rock wall, sitting wall & lap pool w/ accelerated rushing water.... Anyway, that's it for me today. Gotta get off of here & spend some much needed one on one w/ my hubby. My daughter wanted me to take her kids this week after Mike has been insanely stressed. Notice that I did not mention them at all, lol. Ya not happening.

I started out the night doing a new meditation. I was opening my core chakra's & tried to add a new one from the extended version which heightened my vibrations. I didn't close them because I wanted an OOB but what I got was a new bad experience.


First, I had a False Awakening in which I got up to go pee. I was exhausted when I started & kept thinking I had drank too much tea & this would interrupt my chakra meditation by me needing to pee. Like I said, I was just too tired & had just went anyway so I risked it. Which would explain the FA while doing my chakra exercise. Next was me climbing back into my bed & the following began.

I was experiences all the high vibrations of an OOB which excited me but alarmed me at the same time because I could feel vibrations that weren't created by me this time. I began also to experience the most intense pain on my body. I looked later for bruising but I haven't seen any but I have extremely sore spots on my chest, upper thighs, upper arm, wrists, ect. I also couldn't see which was a new thing for me. My other OOB experiences or attempts left me able to see but this time I couldn't. I was yelling for Mike to no avail. I could here my screams in my head but he couldn't here me. I could tell I was reaching for him in attempt to wake him up but it was my astral arm & hand. Eventually I was able to use my real arm & hit him. He woke up & of course he understood what had happened. I went to smoke 1/2 a cig in the bathroom to try & shake off the terror I was feeling & tried to come back to bed. I started back w/ doing my chakra's again feeling still scared but more in control. No dice on that front.

Then I entered in D1: I was at a retreat for lucid dreamers, people who could astral project & also had other abilities. I had brought w/ my tools of the trade which included books, notebooks w/ notes & diagrams, etc. The retreat was really familiar to me as did the ppl. (I'm not good w/ DC names unless they are from this waking life. The retreat came complete w/ sleeping quarters, practicing rooms, schedules, a communal eating area which we spent a lot of time catching up w/ each other & showing each other our newest knowledge that we had accumulated. I was doing really well w/ this. And it all felt totally natural. The familiarity was uncanny!Then I rolled into dream 2.

D2: I was back at the retreat for the next year & I hadn't been as prepared. (I've never ever experienced a dream in which time was played out like this, it was really new for me.) This time I had left vital information at home & had slacked off a bit. I had noticed that now others were doing much better w/ their new research. And then things got odd. An old boyfriend of mine was there from my childhood. Anyway he was ignoring me in the dream & I tried to be patient in hopes that things would okay. Unfortunately it didn't happen even in the dream.


He was my last boyfriend I had when I had been ripped from my home in my 8th grade yr due to things beyond my control. There is a lot of history w/ him & when I was just 18 we had a falling out because I was smoking pot & got details screwed about the details that led up to my departure in 8th grade up while on the phone. These circumstances are way too long for me to journal today. I've written of things pertaining to this subject in old journal entries on DV. Any way, This was an extremely hard thing for me to except throughout the yrs. Not to mention his best friend & my childhood friend was also on the phone. Till this day I can't find them anywhere to make amends . Anyway he was ignoring me in the dream & I tried to be patient in hopes that things would okay. Unfortunately it didn't happen even in the dream.

I feel as though I could very well have been a part of something like these retreats in a past life. Your soul lives on when you die. Also there are also core ppl that are present in these lives. I think somehow the previous dream bled into my existing dream sequence some how & it changed the dynamics of it.


Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown/OOB

I woke up & tried to hold on to my dream but waking life too priority. I've been preparing for Labor Day weekend.

Non-lucid: I was at Crazy Daisy's' (AKA my living grandmother that is not a nice human being). But it wasn't really her old house I knew as a kid but it did have the lucheonette type of counter she had. My mom was trying to get me to talk to her & my dad & sisters too. My aunt Jill was taking up for her which almost created a whole other element of crazy going on. I wasn't having any of it. Then at some point it morphed into me needing a dress to go to a family event starring Crazy Daisy. Jill was telling me I had to buy the dress & I wanted to borrow it & bring it back. It was all stupid crap.

Gearing up for Labor Day weekend. I'm hoping for sun all 3 days so we can pool it up!

D1: Non-Lucid: A guy looked a lot like "Chuck" Saul's brother, from "Better call Saul". So I went there w/ the pony & it turned out to be something like a big feed store where you buy in bulk for animal food. He had some stalls in the back. The guy got really mad at me & said that we didn't deserve a pony & that we murdered our dogs. He told me we were criminals. Kept calling me a dog murderer. I was crying in my dream & in real life. I could here myself. So I knew I was dreaming but I still had to defend myself for personal reasons. I told him that wasn't what happened. I was hysterical & he kept yelling. But then he went around the corner which is the exact moment I knew I was dreaming, crying, & screaming. I started back in on him after I rounded the corner. He suddenly stopped & looked at me like I was crazy & said, "what are you talking about, I didn't say that."

I woke up still screaming & crying & Meesha Cat was loving on me. Then I realized all the screaming had freaked her out & woke her up. She had peed all over my bed. This was not a good start to the morning. I had to get up & wash all my shit & console my poor cat. So I finally got back to bed about 2 hrs later... Oh, & the dream was some small guilt I still carry about rehousing our dogs due to my health. They all got homes & yes I now have a cat but she's never under foot like they were.


D2: Lucid- Mike & I were driving to go see my Grandpa Harry. (He passed away 24 yrs ago) We were going around a sharp curve on what looked like the side of a mountain.It was getting dark & I was starting to panic. Something went wrong w/ the brakes & we were airborne. I was driving. I held his hand & said "I love you, Mike." I thought we were going to die! I had this strange feeling right then though. I had to try & do something. Part of me thought this has to be a dream & part of me thought this could be real. So when I told him I loved him & held his hand I went full on lucid. I slowed down time & willed us to be in a bubble away from the car & we slowly floated down.

D3: I had a big fight w/ a guy who was treating like shit. Apparently he was seeing me & another woman. I got really mad & started teleporting all around which freaked him out while I was yelling at him. He was so confused, lol. I started to get lucid but my phone went off & I had to deal w/ real life. Sigh. That would've been 2 lucids. Oh well.

Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown/OOB

I thought I was awake but I wasn't. It was a False Awakening...I had a dream that I was just sitting here in bed eating & watching tv & one of my teeth broke halfway off & I freaked out & ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror & saw that one of my teeth had broken in half. I was freaking out & went back into my room. I thought this really happened in the end & made me have some serious anxiety.

I went back & made this journal entry because I forgot & it's my most serious reoccurring dream & reoccurring false awakening. I always think I'm awake when this happens & I wake up freaking out. It sometimes makes me have multiple false awakenings. It's a great fear I have because I have dentures on the top & fear the day I will need them on the bottom.... I don't mind talking about it.... I had crooked teeth as a child which I knew would lead to problems later in life & also had a heat stroke at a girl scout retreat along w/ some other girls which made me prone to having nausea. Now I have to be careful in the heat. Hence my anxiousness of my A/C not working right this summer. Then there was my Hyperemesis during my pregnancies I was constantly in the hospital puking up blood which ate at my teeth & stomach. Any puking scenario scares the hell out of me, where my teeth are concerned. And the final nail in the coffin was when I became a meth addict in my 20's..... Anyway, this was important for me as a person to add to my journal.

D1: I am hanging out w/ Ellen Degeneres & we are getting ready for The Peoples : Choice Awards Show. We are good friends. We gone down w/ Mike & are scoping out our seats. I tell him she has some things to do & I have to go get her a gift. He's irritated that we are leaving him there alone. Ellen says "Fuck It", "lets just go." We see Melissa McCarthy & say hi, cuz we are all good buds ya know. We went shopping & picked up things & ran into other people. When we got back Mike was even more pissed & saying, "See, I knew this would happen if you left!" He couldn't save the seats. I told him not to freak out & that Ellen can get us seats. So we leave him there, lol. I would never normally leave him but it's Ellen & we have to get sat down before things start. We finally find seats but I can see Mike & he's fuming!


Meesha Cat started bugging me & I batted her away but only had time to phase into a frag.

D2: I was still w/ Ellen & Mike & now we are at some really weird tacky ass funeral outside.

I had a third but just couldn't hold on to it. My A/c seems better today but my nose is still running from allergies. But I'll take the dreams I got because they were fun. Ellen is a common DC for me, also so is Melissa McCarthy.

I was on some bizarre camping trip w/ a group of little people & some of my family. My dad had erected a big tent for us on a wooden platform (the girl scout camp I went to as a kid had some like this). We were all eating camp site food & it started to rain. The tent was gone for some reason now & the little people were trying to help us construct one out of materials around the camp site. My aunt Jill who is only a couple of weeks older than me was being a bitch.

Got woke up by fucking A/C guys. They have been here all day so it better be fixed this time!

Mike & were moving into a shelter for some reason but this shelter was like this one I was in when I was 15. It was a house that foster kids stay in temporarily while they await being transferred to a foster home, group home etc. We were being shown around & told the routine of chores, meal times, our room & so on. It was really odd. But it seemed like it was some kind of normal stop over place. Like ppl were traveling & had to keep moving around. Like ppl were taking in other ppl on their journeys.

Still have a/c issues & my nose hates me.

I have to explain what happened before this dream. Mike & I took were really stressed out. We got unexpected news that his boss was demoted. They told her she could either be fired or moved to another plant. It was a big blow on so many levels. No one is safe at Mike's job now. They lied & said the firings were over but restructuring will continue, which really means more firing. When the 5th biggest company in the world by yours company there is no rhyme or reason anymore. It's a long story but in the end we were both really exhausted from it all.... Anyway I decided to do a meditation before bed about needing a spirit guide or some sign in my dreams of ways for me to contribute to our household by looking online for a side job that I could do online. I can't work a regular job due to medical reasons & I have looked before but I just couldn't find one.... So while I was meditating a woman w/ short hair appeared in my head. I've seen her pop in there before one other time. Hence the dream that follows... About the meditation. I merged the whole "See, Hear, Feel" method w/ a new meditation that involves self discovery & betterment of my soul.



D1: I was looking for information in my dream & a boy brought me a book. I then encountered the same woman I have seen twice now during my meditations & finally in my dream. I showed her the book & she smiled like we had found just what we were looking for. I believe she may be one of my spirit guides.... There were men coming so we hid crouched under a staircase.

D2: I had a dream of Nebulus. Sorry Neb but I don't remember the specifics, except that it was the real you, not the Nebulus you. I woke up quickly & ran to the bathroom to blow my nose. I still am not feeling much better but I got some meds for it which is helping.


Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown/OOB