side notes

I had some bizarre dream about me & 2 other women being told we were going to be hired to watch some snooty rich women's children. She was really insane. She wanted us to let her little & by little I mean little adolescents do whatever the hell they wanted & we would have to keep the shits alive. Her house was a serious rich person house & those kids had everything & only wanted more. By the end I called her a fucking Bitch which totally appalled her & told her to go fuck herself. I promptly left. I don't really talk to ppl like that much in my dreams but man she was a real piece of work. No amount of money would be enough to deal w/ that kind of job. I also don't take too well to ppl "telling me I will be doing something in a demanding demeaning way. If she were a real person, I positive she would have got that message, lol.

I was watching the new Magyver tv show & it had this rich guy who obviously bled over into my dream but it woman form.

Had really clear dreams but then life happened & I had to deal w/ it so this is all I've got because I didn't have a chance to record them. Sigh. That's okay, there's always tomorrow!

D1: Mike & I were in the woods somewhere & it was getting dark. He got a call while we were there & was saying we had to go back to the house because someone was making some crazy offer on our house. I was so confused how we would get a phenomenal offer on our house. I couldn't see any house anyway. Suddenly I hear a guy calling to us & Mike said we need to hurry back to the house. It was all really weird so I was actually glad when Meesha Cat woke me up.

D2: I was coming home & pull in but it's not my current house. It was on the land I grew up on but now my house looks different & there is a daycare there too. Also some creepy neighbor was there but his house which is different (another elaborate home I recall I had many yrs ago). I kept saying "No this isn't right, his elaborate landscape didn't extend this far before.) The daycare is chaotic. My grandkids were there at one point. Then my real life friend was there w/ one of his daughters & he was holding her by her hands but she couldn't walk yet. The odd thing was that I asked him how old she was because she was only a foot tall & he said she was 4 yrs old. It made me sad because one of his daughters does have a health condition that has stunted her growth. She was a premature baby & has health problems. She isn't only a foot tall but she is very small. I was yet again glad for my alarm to go off because this was very sad.

I've still been doing my puzzle meditation & it has led to some interesting break through's.

D1: I was ghost hunting in a foggy bog w/ a guide giving me directions.
(I'm not into ghost hunting so this is a little odd but I can see a correlation w/ other things spiritual)
D2: Mike was going bowling a lot & was very mean to me about how he didn't want me there. I woke up sad.
D3: I was part of some group who had honed a craft at sabotaging hot air balloons. We made a slice in it w/ a knife but used a creative stitch as a way of puncturing it so it wouldn't take off. This was a long dream. We did this in parking lots & carnivals, etc.
D4: I woke up from stabbing dream but I didn't log it w/ enough details so that's all I got.

D1: Non-luicd: I was w/ a group of spiritual people & we are having a group session. The topic was on
people who have "seer abilities". Each person was talking about their abilities. But I kept getting vibes from the woman on my right that were distracting. I could tell she was lying for some reason. Then Meesha Cat woke me up to be fed.

D2: Lucid: This was an Armageddon setting dream. There is a girl who insists that the group should help her find her canary. I then became lucid & tried to think of the TOTM tasks but I can only remember the one about holding our head & think it's creepy so I just go w/ the flow of the dream. I see the cage & am helping her look for the bird but I'm insisting that she should leave it because it will make noise & draw attention to us. I'm trying to rationalize to her why it is so dangerous but as soon as we give up looking we hear the bird screeching. Our group anxiously is arguing about the bird & our safety. I'm telling them that their arguing is drawing attention to us & pleaded for them to stop but it's too late & our hide out is rushed by the police state officers. We manage to get in a car & the arguing escalates again. We hurried into another building which looks like the capital building. We no sooner get inside when we hear a loud explosion & we now have a hole in the room we are in. I can see professional looking people in the other room w/ suits on but they don't know we are there. They are looking out the windows & panicking. But soon the people w/ me are making noise again w/ more arguing & they start to figure out that we are there. But they no sooner are trying to alert the other people in the next room, that the building was stormed by the police state officers & are being dragged out. I then woke up. This dream was so fast paced that I was having trouble stabilizing it so I just waited to see where I could do more but it just ended too soon. Yet I did feel good about it becoming lucid regardless.

Had a bad night of sleeping. As in I didn't get much because I kept waking up over & over. I can't even remember a frag for some reason. I'm guessing my REM sleep had a hard time kicking in. Eventually I just got up. But on a brighter note my husband took me to breakfast at our favorite little hole in the wall place only 5 blocks from my house. This meant no make up to put on, woot woot! All in all I had a good weekend regardless of my runny nose because of some personal things so I'm in a happy place right now. Tomorrow I plan on doing a inward meditation before I do a relaxing puzzle/music meditation.

I was living as a part of family that was meager in means & was constantly trying to find ways to pay the bills in some shady ways & some resourceful ways. This dream reminded me a tamer version of the tv show Shameless (American Edition). I was the mother. Lots of kids! It started at a school where one of my kids were being bullied & his sister was w/ him. It got chaotic & fast paced so I can't include all of the details or it will just be monotonous because this was a really long dream. One of the kids informed me at this point that their father went to jail but I didn't ever find out why. We then were plunged into the dark in our house. I didn't panic. I sat the kids down & had a heart to heart about us having to come up w/ ways to get our lights back on. We all were laughing at the craziness of the situation & different ideas that we had to pay our electric bill. In the end the lights came back on & we were all laughing yet again.

It was a feel good dream. Lots of fun for a change. I woke up again today w/ a runny nose. I hate allergies. I'll be glad when I make it through the seasonal change & can breathe a little better. It mostly just bothers me in the morning & right before I go to sleep. Unfortunately it affects my dreams sometimes. I live in an old house so it makes my allergies 10 times worse.

I woke up with a runny nose & it took my attention away from my dream. Hence no dream recall that made sense.

I was with a bunch of other people on some unknown planet. We had been taken captive & were frantically bouncing ideas back & forth. All adults no children. Then they transported us yet again to another planet where we started all over again with arguing about how to get the hell out.

I don't remember having a dream before that I was on another planet, let alone two of them.

non-lucid
My dream was so complicated that I couldn't hold on to it. But that's okay.

D1: Non-lucid nightmare: I was being held down & raped by some man I didn't know. It was so intense I woke up.

I tried to go back in to get a lucid out of it to do the TOTM but no dice.

D2: Non-Lucid: I was with a big group of ppl & we were pillaging a house for random stuff. We were lost & just came across it. The family was the Duggar Family from the show 19 kids & counting, (Was weird cuz I quit watching that show some time ago) The father got really angry & was trying to make us leave.

D3: Non-Lucid: I was in a flying hospital. Yup, I flying hospital indeed, lol. I needed to get medical attention for something but never new why. I had 2 female friends w/ me. I was trying to find my husband (not any husband I've had in this lifetime) I didn't look like me. Both mine & his appearance kept changing. It was really weird. And our genders kept changing too! Finally I found him & we closed the curtain on an open ER Room w/ the curtain but it wouldn't close all the way around. A couple of my friends, both women whom I seemed to be really good friends w/ were saying "GO for it!" And watched us have sex, lol.

About an hour before I went to bed my husband & I had an intense conversation about how we met & a revelation I had during the day. We both feel that some other force kept pulling us together no matter what we did. He pursued me for 3 yrs before I gave in. It was an intense 3 yrs. We also both married other ppl briefly but it just wasn't right. He would always turn up behind me at work & freak me out, lol. But I would anticipate him & he would make my heart about jump out of my chest each time w/ attraction. I was always afraid he was a coke/meth addict because he is tall & slim & has a lot of energy. I was afraid because I used to be an IV drug user in my twenties & I don't want anything or anyone like that around me. But then it turned out I should've just asked him earlier & believed him. Everyone we know was like "It's about time!" in the end. We still till this day call him my stalker, lol. But ironically we both believe we were supposed to marry to the ppl in between all of this, because they both died during the year following our marriage (also 3 yrs later, I made him wait again, lol). But before they died they both changed in some ways. My ex was always very bitter & angry. He was dying from liver & kidney failure & turned to God in his final months & Mike's ex was never bitter towards me & actually liked seeing us happy together, she died in a fire... Ironically my marriage to this man ended because of his health. I told him he was going to die & had to change his eating habits & I refused to sit back & drag my kids down this road of slowly watching him kill himself in such a way. I new w/o a doubt he would die. He then went back to live w/ his mother & sister whom he had lived w/ many yrs before he was w/ me so he was never alone... Anyway I think that's where my dreams from tonight came from. Except the first one. I think that was because Meesha Cat was mauling my head to get up & feed her & it triggered that rape dream cuz he kept grabbing my hair. Of course I'm sure some of what we talked about that I didn't mention here was helpful w/ that dream. We had a pretty in-depth conversation./COLOR]

Non-lucid only.

I woke up to my phone going off. I reached over to get it & spilled my tea from last night on my night table & directly on my iPhone. I had to get up & deal w/ it which made me lose my dream recall. OOPS!

D1: Non-Lucid: I'm in some odd looking place. It looks like a mash up of a backwoods bar, game room & new age things all in one. It's somewhere in the country side. The ppl there are the cast from the Netflix original Aquarius. I'm supposed to be going to some kind of bar for some reason but instead I'm in some sort of competition. Another team went first. They drive out in a jeep & launch it into the air somehow. Then they had to grab a bird out of the air. Next they shot a target & a parachute was released & they have to land in a mock house. While waiting for our turn I got woke up by my wbtb alarm.


D2: Non-Lucid: There was a computer with something displayed on the screen. It was for sale for $279 & I was buying it for Tess. Everything was foggy.

And I've never had a random name like this in my dreams. I don't know a Tess unless you count a girl from when I was a kid named Tessa but it wasn't her for sure. I think the name is significant but for the life of me I don't know why.

A family moved into a house that I thought my family some how owned. In reality it didn't resemble any home or any people I know, lol. Someone had died & the family was pillaging the enormous estate & house of all of it's goods. I thought they had my dog. I told them I had given them my dog because I could no longer care for them. I even asked Mike if I could get my dog back. He said we are in a good place now & Meesha & him would get along. I went & looked for my dogs pedigree papers & was distracted & looked up.There were suddenly these balconies & I was standing in what looked like a theater. In the balconies were people w/ the same kinds of dogs as mine was. It looked like they were waiting for their turns in some sort of dog show. I then new I was dreaming & became lucid. I was overwhelmed w/ the reality that my dog had died many years ago & I just wanted to wake up. I looked at the dog they had there & realized it wasn't him. Then I woke up.

This was one of those dreams that wake you up out of sadness. But I reminded myself that once I leave this life I will get to see him again so all will be okay.

I went to sleep early last night & got up late. I took my meds only at the beginning of the night at 9pm & fell asleep about 10:15 so it may be why my mind was opened up more. I also cut way back on my smoking a week ago because Mike & I are working towards quitting. I'm actually really grateful for not being foggy, regardless of the fear I experienced at times during the following entries.

My first experience of the night. I was sleeping & Mike had left earlier for work so this was probably around 6am. I started sleeping on my back in February or March but somehow I ended up on my stomach. I felt the all to familiar feelings of terror as I felt my body being forcefully pushed down into my bed & I couldn't move at all. Sleep paralysis is something I am all too familiar with. It seemed to go on forever. Eventually I was able to move & woke up to go smoke half a cig. I then went back to my bed to try to have an OOB/AP experience. I laid back down & tried to raise my vibrations but I've been sick & what is usually an easy thing for me to do was not happening at all. This is where I interject that ethereal entities are drawn to ppl when they are sick or deeply depressed. I am not depressed my any means but we all know I have been sick.... I then fell back to sleep.

I awoke again to being held down again but this time it felt like a prepubescent male about 12 which disturbed me on a whole other level. I can't explain how I felt this but maybe it will make some sense later on as you read... I felt scared at first but also confused. I've never encountered some entity that I would consider to be some kind of lost confused soul of some sort. I didn't feel like he meant anything bad but I still had some real fear present because entities can do things like impersonate a being that you wouldn't fear. Anyway, I finally came out of the sleep paralysis & got up to pee & went back to sleep again. (Side note: I was on my side when this all occurred which is also not very common for me. And also the phrase, "prepubescent male" is not a phrase I use yet I felt strongly about saying it this way.)

I awoke again on my side w/ the same feeling of this boy on me. It was like he was trying to scare me for some reason but now I'm not scared at all. Instead I feel bad for him. I can tell this time I can attempt to move like before when I had an OOB/AP but I tried to roll in the opposite direction than I normally do towards Mike's side of the bed in hopes of seeing him. But I just roll over & sit up. Nothing occurs. I then go to pee again & go back to sleep.

This time I have no sleep paralysis at all but enter a dream state. I feel the weight of this boy yet again in my dream state. He's looking at me & just trying to scare me. I became full blown lucid at this point. He is freaking out because I can see him. He is confused. He told me that no-one ever sees him. I said, "well I sure see you, why were you holding me down" he said he was trying to scare me but doesn't know why. He just sounds like a kid doing something kid like. Like he was getting a kick out of it as a sort of game. I'm in his house I think but I'm not sure. I'm in a bed there & the house looks old. I start walking around & the fixtures & everything is old not like a modern house might be. He's walking w/ me but he seems not fully solid to me but close, really close. Other people are there like a family. Eventually one by one the others start to see him too & he's excited & scared all at once. I feel like his guide or something. Like I'm supposed to help him or I'm here for a purpose that is his, not mine. Of course I think as a bi-product it has helped me in some way. The people seemed confused too & not much is really said. I then woke up.

I'm not sure why these kinds of things happen to me but I think maybe the boy in particular was there for a reason. I have been studying medium-ship for a while now & reading stories by mediums of real life sessions w/ ppl & the afterlife. I'm highly sensitive to ppl & feel energies. I've had OOB's/AP's. I've had encounters w/ 2 family members that have passed & I see my dead dog in my home. I'm always having strange urges to tell someone about something that will help them & I pass it on to them. I know when ppl are coming to my house a lot via dreams or feelings. Hence, I'm quite intuitive. I also am very in-tune to vibrations. I've been studying Spiritualism, which is not Religion so please don't confuse them. I'm very interested in Energy Healing & Spiritual Healing. I'd like to learn one or both. As of a week ago I have cut back on my smoking because of a strong feeling I have that this is blocking me. But in the end this is my weird life. I think I've been led down this path after so much strange & unusual turmoil in my life. Like I had to go through all of that to get to here. This is a great advantage to not being a young person anymore. With age comes wisdom & insight.