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    Lucid Dreams

    1. 26 September - Control struggles and TOTM

      by , Yesterday at 07:26 PM
      comment dream lucid

      Failed WILD (light vibrations, I thought that nothing happened but I was probably dreaming about being in bed at that point or very shortly after).

      I'm in bed. I get up and walk out of the room through a hallway. Something feels off. The movement - it's slightly slower and smoother. Am I dreaming? I raise my hand to do a nose plug RC but don't even finish it, the movement has a definite weird feel. I step into the room across from the bedroom where I slept and immediately know it isn't supposed to be there.
      The room looks like a combination of my childhood bedroom and the bedroom in my in-laws' apartment.
      What was I going to do? Trumps! And something else, but I can remember that later.

      Trumps come from the Amber book series by Roger Zelazny. In the books, they are tarot cards used for communicating with the person in the picture and also for teleporting.
      I've always loved Amber and came across the idea of using Trumps in one of FryingMan's posts. If I can get them into my dreams, it would be a neat tool for summoning DCs and for teleporting.

      I try to get the cards out of my pocket. But I don't seem to have any easily accessible pockets. I remember the sweatpants that I wear IRL now - they have zippered pockets. I feel the zipper and unzip it. From inside, I pull out an old tissue.
      I face a desk. There's a black phone on it, and music is playing. It's something modern, pop/techno/dance, mostly beats, I don't like it, but it's an original song and that's what gets my attention. I pick up the phone and say, "Play some rock." The music stops, but nothing new starts. "Classic rock," I specify. Nothing.
      I leave the phone alone and return to the contents of my pockets. More pieces of tissue. A small piece of lined paper, as if cut from my DJ, but blank. Nothing more.
      A DC enters the room. He wants to know what I'm doing with the phone. I pick it up again and say, "Play something." Now it works - the phone starts playing something techno-like again.
      The DC walks to the other end of the room, where he joins another DC who was already there. I wonder what to do next. TOTM! I look around the room - the other DC is now just a little closer. I walk up to him and ask "What part of my subconscious do you represent?"
      He looks at me in great surprise. "I don't know," he says, throwing up his hands. He turns to the other DC, but then turns back to me and says "Mrzoprs" with effort. I'm not sure I've understood correctly. "What?" "Mrzoprs," he repeats.


      "Mrzoprs" is a nonsense word, but if I assume Czech etymology, it could be loosely translated as "regretboob" or "grumpyboob".

      OK, enough. I have more goals to do.
      I go out into a big atrium. My next goal needs me to fly. But my lucidity and concentration have dropped significantly and I'm having trouble getting airborne, as well as problems with my clothes getting in the way.
      Then I get distracted by a friend who finds my attempts amusing.
      Nothing else interesting happens.
    2. 18 September - The longest lucid so far

      by , 09-19-2021 at 11:01 PM
      comment lucid dream

      A considerably shortened version, it was 20-30 minutes dream

      A very nice non-lucid in the 4th cycle, very light and mostly conscious sleep afterward. After an hour, I feel the 5th REM trying to start (vibrations starting and dissipating), but my mind is a bit too awake. I cuddle up with R. A minute later, vibrations again, and I finally relax into them.

      The beginning
      I see grey blurry spots and R is holding me tightly from behind (IRL we are in a spoons position, with his arm over me). I can barely move. Am I dreaming already? I don't want to risk moving in reality or opening my real eyes, so I close my dream eyes for a moment. But then it feels pretty stable, so I try to free myself. R holds me tighter and won't let go. I have to wrestle with him, and gradually the visuals come in, grey and blurry at first, then clearer and sharper. I throw him to the ground. He's lying under the table, all I can see of him are his legs. I want to unsummon him with a snap of my fingers, but I can't snap, so I just leave the room and forget about him.

      TOTY
      In the hallway, wondering what to do next. I don't expect anything from the dream, I have an unstable sleep in the morning as it is, and if R moves in reality, he'll wake me up.
      TOTY comes to mind first, I don't expect to finish it, but why not try.
      I walk into a larger room where a lot of old people are sitting at tables.
      I call out, "Hey Dream! Superhero time!"
      "Who can tell me what superhero I am?" I ask.
      Two old men raise their hands. I point to one of them. He says something to me, but I don't understand. I lean over to him to repeat it, but I still don't understand. I call out the other. He says something that is more of a feature than a name.
      "It's about the name. I am a superhero. Do you know my name?"
      His eyes light up, he understands, he nods. He doesn't look old anymore, more middle-aged.
      He says four French words.
      Oh. Okay. "Could you repeat it?"
      He repeats it slowly, and I say it after him. Word by word, sometimes he corrects me. We spend about a minute on it. Then I repeat the whole thing. He nods.
      Nice. I start to ask about my powers but realize that's the second task. I ask about the costume and get the answer that it's in a cupboard there.
      The entire wall behind the tables is made up of cabinets with doors, drawers, and compartments. I open a few and find random things, but nothing like a costume.
      I walk out of the room, down a wide corridor, and there I see a toy store. That looks good. And I see a costume rack!
      First on the rack is a burgundy dress with ruffles. Nice, fantasy, but not exactly superhero style. The second is a child's spiderman costume, that's closer, but it's not quite my size.
      The customer who was talking with the saleswoman leaves, and I ask her:
      "I am a superhero. Do you have a costume for me?"
      She nods and hands me a toy wrapped in clear plastic. It's a bee, with a black and blue striped body and red details.
      I'm confused. "Do you want me to use the colours? To have something made in these colours?" She nods.
      Behind her stands a man, thin, stern-looking. He says something like I know there's a message there.
      I walk out of the shop. I unwrap and take apart the toy, nothing.
      But okay. Good enough. I continue out of the building, repeating the French name to myself. I should wake up and write it down, but no... I don't want to... I'll probably wake up soon anyway.

      On my way out
      I walk down the wide staircase, repeating my name to myself. I look around and suddenly I'm confused - where am I? Am I awake? Or still in a dream?
      I do a nose plug RC and it fails. WTF. This again? (It failed for me for the first time 8 days ago.) I look at my hand and I have a sixth finger. That's better.

      Flying
      After training in a few previous shorter dreams, I'm getting much better at the swimming technique of flying. I take off, below me is a nice park built into a slope, further ahead are some fish ponds and behind me is a city.
      I'm practicing faster flying (I'm still not good at that) and flying upwards, at altitude (slowly, but steadily). For a while, I just float on my back and fool around. Some people in sport suits run by, there's an air-running race going on. Then I try to spin and create a tornado, but I can't get enough speed.

      Underwater exploring
      I remember the goal of underwater exploring and fly into one of the ponds. It's deep enough to put me underwater. But it's extremely muddy, I can barely see anything. There are frogs croaking around. I try to breathe, and I have to remind myself that in a dream, you can breathe underwater. I can, but it's uncomfortable, a bit like inhaling mud. I have to keep reminding myself that it's possible. I don't like it in there, so I fly out. Better to try this in the sea, which has better associations. I sense the sea beyond the city, so I head there.

      Chatting with KD and Vikings
      I end up on some street with street food stands.
      I try to recall the superhero name. Was it Jamon (with ch/[x] sound)? No, that’s ham in Spanish. It was French J. I vaguely remember the rest of the words too but I am not really sure.
      My friend KD is there.
      "Don't you mind that you sleep and dream too much?"He asks.
      "I'm dreaming right now," I reply.
      He voices some more criticism of my supposedly unhealthy lifestyle, but I shrug.
      "Don't you think you've been here too long?"
      For a moment I feel time dilation like I've been here for hours, but my rational self is quickly back and I estimate the time so far at 20-30 minutes.
      There is now a wooden table next to me with a bunch of Vikings drinking beer.
      KD continues, "What about your body, how do you know you're ok, what if you're in a coma?"
      The Vikings are more interesting.
      One of the Vikings is trying to rip a piece of wood from a bench to use as a wooden sword to fight me. I don't know if I want to fight. He has long dark hair and a Viking haircut. I kiss him on the mouth.
      "Is this what you want?" He asks, a little surprised.
      He gets up and walks around the table away, I go with him.


      And I finally wake up.
      Not remembering the name at all.

      Total time IRL between cuddling up with R and waking up - 30 minutes.
    3. 30 August - Mountains, flying and night sky

      by , 08-30-2021 at 09:23 PM
      comment dream lucid

      After a week with my new Fitbit, I evaluated my sleep patterns (which is how it should be used rather than obsessing about specific data… a note to myself) and completely changed my strategy for the night.
      Simply, instead of focusing on the 6th-8th hour of sleep, I decided to focus on the 1st REM period and then on the 4th-6th hour - parts of my sleep that aren’t completely messed up yet.
      So, the idea was an auto-shutoff alarm (vibrations only, 1 second… this wakes me up most of the time but doesn’t wake my husband) for the 1st REM period (fail, I wasn’t dreaming, light sleep only) and the second alarm for WBTB after 4 hours of sleep.

      I had problems staying awake… only did a quick MILD.
      Then a lot of really good dreaming. On and off, with a couple of very short awakenings.
      Awakening again, from a NLD. Time for a LD. I use the “I am dreaming” mantra but only manage to say it twice...

      I am standing on a cliff, on the edge of some deep cwm (amphitheater-like glacial valley). It could be Snowdonia, but it looks a bit wilder, maybe the Scottish Highlands. Some of the slopes are grass and gravel, some steep rocks. I remember my plan to fly. This is a great place to fly. And it's a dream, right, so I can fly, right? I look around again and the sub-optimal vividness makes it obvious.
      It's that weird part of the day that only exists in some lucid dreams - too dark to be day, too light to be night, but it's also nothing in between... more like both night and day combined.
      I jump off the cliff and want to fly. But I'm wearing a nightgown that completely blocks my movement like a straitjacket, so I can't spread my arms and I am losing altitude. In-flight, I take off my nightgown and throw it away. I'm naked now, but who cares here. I've lost too much height and I land softly on the ground. I notice I still have some stupid slippers on and I take them off too and throw them away.
      Ahead of me is a rockface and some large boulders, I see a cave at its base. I feel drawn to it. But I tell myself no, the plan is to fly, I can come back here later.
      I jump up twice. During the third jump, I remember my mini-goal - to look at the night sky, so I do a backflip and look up. There are little swirls everywhere. I focus more, wanting to see some space objects, and I see little planets with rings. Cool. I'm slowly floating on my back, looking at it in awe.
      I get down on the ground again, really tempted by the cave, but I'm not sure if it's still there. I remember the permanence schema - it's always been there, and surely, it's still there.
      I turn around and the cave is where expected, I walk towards it. There's a person I “recognize” as my companion inside. He has my discarded clothes and some camping gear. I can't fit in there with him inside, so I leave it to him. I want to try flying again.
      But as soon as I turn and walk away from him, the dream fades.


      After awakening, I regret not taking time to stabilize or to try to increase vividity. I was a bit like a kid in a candy shop there.
      Technique-wise, I am not sure, what it was. DEILD? I wasn't completely lucid from the first second, but I still had the self-awareness carried on from the micro-awakening.
      I know that the awakening happened in the middle of the REM period, so perfect timing.
      There is also a possibility of the awakening being a FA.

      Updated 08-30-2021 at 09:27 PM by 98406

      Categories
      lucid
    4. 25 August - White plush rabbit

      by , 08-26-2021 at 12:19 AM
      comment daydream/forming dream fully dreaming and lucid

      WILD/V-WILD

      Thinking about lucid dreaming when awake at night… and as a result, having problems with falling asleep… my brain goes into the WILDing mode. I experience vibrations two or three times. I can tell I am due for a REM period. I experience forming dreams when I can feel the dream body and sensory perception from the forming dreams but I am neither able to relax into it nor force my way in. I remember I usually need movement or action to do this but I am not able to get anything going.

      I try to relax more to be able to fall asleep normally. The fact that I am close to my usual waking time makes it harder but I still have time to get some sleep.

      There is a daydream or a forming dream. I am on a meadow and there are three men with swords. I decide to run. Running is what I need to get immersed in it, even though it feels weird to start a dream by being chased.
      I'm running downhill, there are forests all around. But I'm not gaining any distance, quite the opposite. It's not vivid, it has more of a daydreamy feel. I run into the woods, but I realize that the woods are going to be bad for sword-fighting, and I don't have much choice but to face them.
      Suddenly I'm back in the meadow and trying to catch my breath. I draw my sword. Three men stand in a quarter circle in front of me. I know I have to move to stand a chance against three, but I'm already out of breath. However, since I assume this is still only a daydream, I can cheat and imagine the way I want it. I'll cross swords with the first two, break through the guard of the third, who I manage to surprise, and thrust my sword into him. It still feels like I'm imagining it and not very realistic.
      Then I back away from the other two. One comes after me and I somehow lose my balance and am on the ground. Suddenly a large, humanoid, white, plush rabbit is standing between me and the man. The man tries to push him away, but he can't. Then suddenly I see the man on the ground and the rabbit is sticking a long, thin rapier into his neck.

      I touch the grass around me and feel that the dream is now solid. I can feel the grass, nothing else, and I'm happy I got in. I consider doing something else for a moment, but this scene deserves a continuation. I look around and see that I can't quite see clearly and that the dream feels unstable. I grab the grass again. I want to stabilize the dream more - a little further away lies the severed head of one of the men. I crawl on my hands and knees to it and grab it, it feels more like a toy than realistic.
      I stand up and look around again. I don't see the third man anywhere (was the head his?). I walk over to the rabbit. He has a human face now, but still has the vibe of a plush rabbit.
      I thank him for his help, shake his hand/paw, and ask, "Who are you?"
      He answers something about some mistakes. It's hard to understand him.
      I say, "Yes, I've made mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. But I ask, who are you?"
      He smiles, looks very happy, and seems to realize what I am asking. But he just says more incoherent words.
      I sigh, wondering why it always has to be this way and consider trying to ask again.

      But I start to feel myself waking up.

      BTW I have a new Fitbit to play with (chosen after reviewing several trackers vs. polysomnography studies). It is bad with awake vs. light (biased towards light) and with light vs. deep (also biased towards light) but it is pretty good with REM. It tracked this REM period as being 4:30 long.
    5. 4 August - 1st time flying and TotM

      by , 08-05-2021 at 08:03 PM
      comment non-lucid (shortened) lucid

      I was sitting at a table with a guy I liked and I asked him something (in Czech). I realized that I was in an international group and that he wouldn't understand me, but that if it was a dream he would understand me. He asks me some follow-up question, which makes it unclear if he didn't understand or misheard. I answer it in English. He answers in Slovak, which satisfies me - it makes sense that he understood my Czech. I continue talking to him in a mix of Czech and English.

      I used to have some language-induced LDs. These days, similar situations usually end as only semi-lucid (I know that people in my dreams understand everything). This was almost there…

      In another dream, I'm running errands in Prague, walking down a street in the centre, I want to catch a tram. I think about the previous dream - I set an intention for the next night so I don't make the same mistake again. Anyway, it's a pity that I haven't managed to fall asleep again after that dream, otherwise, I would have had a good chance...
      ...How do I know this isn't a dream? It doesn't seem likely to me that it is. But thinking about it, I don't really have any reason to be here...
      RC confirms. Nice.

      I'm in the mood for a different experience today than yesterday. I recall Sageous's thread and the memory exercise. I know I'm not in Prague, and I know I'm sleeping. I recall my birth year. Then the exact date of birth. Easy. Highly lucid, I think, ready for anything
      (not as much as I thought at the time, but it wasn't bad).
      Goals? TotY, TotM, and teleportation training. I tell myself that TotM - asking a DC which part of my subconscious they represent - is easy and a good place to start.

      I turn the corner and approach a woman. I excuse myself and ask her, "Which part of my subconscious do you represent?"
      She looks confused and scared and doesn't know what to answer. She tries to talk her way out of it, so I let her go.

      The city around here isn't much like Prague anymore. It has a vibe somewhere between the multicultural neighborhoods of Western European cities and third-world countries. There are more women around with headscarves. I don't want to ask them in case I scare them. I also notice there are a lot fewer people around than there were at the beginning. I want to go back to the center.

      I tell myself that an experienced LDer would fly, but I still can't fly. Just taking off probably won't work, it's never worked for me. I decide to try high jumping.
      1st jump - I jump higher than I would in reality and the man who passes me looks at me in surprise.
      I bounce again, and I'm even higher, about 2-3m, which still isn't enough, but gravity already has a weird feel.
      I bounce once more, this time bending my legs a lot to bounce, and gravity is already completely broken, like it was in the Defying Gravity dream. I do a half backflip and float in the middle of nothingness, seeing only solid grey above me. As I realize there's no reason for me to land backwards on my hands, I flip forward again and the street reappears in my field of vision. I use swimming motions to orient myself and dive into the air in front of me. I'm flying!
      Occasionally, I'll add a swimming stroke, but my clothes restrict my full range of motion. I'm losing altitude a little, but very slowly. I started at roughly streetlamp level and flew about 200m before I landed on the ground again. Cool!

      I want to give the TotM a second try. There's a small market in a side alley. I approach a group of people, same question as before. They look confused and I notice they're really young, young teenagers. So I explain it to them in more detail.
      "There's a theory," I say, "that all the people in the dreamworld, except for me..." a girl interrupts me: "Why except you?", but someone shushes her.
      "All the people in the dreamworld, except me," I repeat, and continue, "represent a tiny part of my subconscious. And I have an assignment that my mother gave me" (this seems like an ok lie) "to ask some people what part of my subconscious they represent. So what part do you represent?"
      The children seem attentive and understanding. One boy starts to say something but stops after two words and it doesn't make sense. Someone says they don't know. Someone else says something evasive. So I thank them and say ok. It doesn't get any better than that. Done.

      Teleportation. There are lots of doors and lots of walls around, lots of opportunities for different techniques. There's even a box that has doors on 4 sides! But I want to go somewhere farther.

      My lucidity has gone downhill from here. I want to fly more, but I'm carrying strange silver plates. I want to tie them to my waist with a towel so I can fly, and a woman is helping me, but it's not really holding. Then I think about leaving them in this locked chest I have with me, but I find it's full of silver coins with wolf images on them.
      A merchant shows up and offers to trade me silver for gold so I can have a smaller volume of stuff. He's got these dodgy coins, pale greenish-yellow, don't look like high purity. He wants to know if my Witcher coins are genuine, and he wants me to prove myself to him with a Witcher pen. I remember that I lost the pen in the previous dream. The deal is off.

      I wake up.
    6. 3 August - Unwanted Magician

      by , 08-05-2021 at 07:52 PM
      comment non-lucid (shortened) lucid

      I walked down the street, looked around and thought - "could this be a dream?" Everything seems normal. In the 1st split-second, I think clearly not, just like with reality questioning in reality, but then I think "it could very well be" and as I raise my hand to RC I already know the outcome.
      DC, who is walking towards me, looks at me as if he recognizes what I am doing and smiles. Meanwhile, I inwardly celebrate - "Yes!", but tone down my enthusiasm. I feel like enjoying the dream as it is, as long as possible, having fun, nothing complicated.
      Something is happening in front of me, something fantasy. Some sort of battle preparation or perhaps a LARP? I arrive in town and there are more people around. I come to a bush that has brittle dry branches and break off a large branch with the goal of turning it into a sword. But as I break it off, someone attacks me with a staff, and I block the attack. Turns out he just wanted to practice, and we try different attacks and parries.
      I'll keep my staff as a magician's staff. I'll remind myself it's a dream so I don't lose my lucidity. I go to a nearby building and there's someone in charge of battle preparations and wants my help with a little something. I'll help. Then he goes out that he needs to pick capable people and heroes. I say I'm happy to help with that (I mostly want him to pick me), but he doesn't really want my help and doesn't take me seriously.
      Everything out there now is a mix of fantasy and modern and there's quite a crowd. To my right, I hear some talk about lucidity and I turn around and there are two girls giggling. I ask if they're lucid dreaming too. They say they do, and they look happy. I congratulate them.
      I say to myself, that was a good reminder. And I think it's probably not true, since it's my dream and I don't believe in shared dreaming. But I suppress such thoughts - I don't want higher lucidity and I don't want to stir up a fuss or disturb the story with the truth. This dream is fully about the suspension of disbelief.
      I'm looking at some dresses on a rack outside a shop. Then I go inside where they have decorative cushions. I wonder when the dream will end, but I know I have plenty of time and there's no reason for it to end. I walk down the street away from the crowds and the shops.
      Then I want to go back again and notice I don't have my staff. I try "Accio staff!" and try to imagine it in my hand, including the feel of the wood. Nothing. I'm disappointed. Maybe it's because I can't see it. But if I could see it, I could use telekinesis. I decided that when I see it, I'll use TK. I want to go back to the commander and convince him to test me to show him I'm a mage.
      As I'm going back, I'm suddenly in a wheelchair and moving awfully slowly. It takes ages to get back...
      I start thinking about how I'm going to write the beginning of my lucidity in my DJ, and I think of the best wording in English, and how I'm going to post it on DV
      . And as the balance between me and the dream collapses, I wake up.
      Categories
      lucid
    7. 15 July - Mountain valley (snooze WILD)

      by , 07-16-2021 at 12:14 AM
      comment lucid

      Not the best night. Falling asleep way too quickly when attempting SSILD and later the opposite problem - drifting in and out of dreamless light sleep.
      At my usual waking time, I still felt tired and tried to sleep longer, but again only light sleep. I cuddled with my husband for a couple of minutes but it was too hot. We talked a bit.
      Then I decided to get up, but taking it slowly, I closed my eyes again.
      An unexpected wave of vibrations went through my body. I thought “why not” and rode with it.

      Around me is a semi-tunnel in a rock - a road or path cut into the side of the mountain - and there are large window-like cut-outs with views into the valley. I can see a beautiful landscape - steep hills and rocks, half-hidden in moving clouds. I want to take a photo, but I don't have my camera, so I tell J. to take one. He comes, but now the clouds cover the most beautiful parts I've seen, the most rugged mountains. I tell him he has to wait.
      I look around and think what a nice setting for a lucid dream this would be.
      (1) I try to visualize myself climbing down. Logically, there should be a steep cliff, but I imagine a steep slope. The dream doesn't cooperate much, the result isn't very realistic, I see several cut scenes - a slope with scree, grass, a steep descent - and suddenly I'm down and it seems to have worked, I'm on the grass and there's a sparse forest all around. The situation stabilizes and looks more solid. I examine my surroundings with my senses, half expecting to be still connected to reality, but I am squatting on the grass and feeling only the damp cold grass with my fingers, I know I'm fully in the dreamworld and that's satisfying. (2)
      I'm going through the forest. Suddenly there's a glass building, like a teahouse with seating inside. I walk through the inside and at the end, I have to squeeze past the only opaque wall in such a way that I lose my view of the outside. Knowing how changeable dreams are, I'm a little worried that the forest will disappear, but when I come out, everything is still there, and when I reach for the glass door, I can feel the water droplets trapped in the door frame on my fingers. It impresses me as a very nice detail.
      There are some trees behind the teahouse, blocking the view further on, and when I go out beyond them, there is a car (relatively old, red?) and a little boy, about 5-8 years old, and another one next to him. One has light brown hair, the other is almost black-haired, and both have round faces. I greet them and ask how they are. They answer something normal. Then I see their mother watching them. I ask her something too, but I don't know what, the answer is sensible but uninteresting.
      (3) I turn away from them and wonder what to do next. I remember that I have some things I want to do in my dreams, like get somewhere else. And I wake up all of a sudden, like I suddenly remember that I have to get up, or that I have to be somewhere else.

      Notes:
      1) At this point, I didn’t believe it was a fully formed dream, I just couldn’t believe that the dream would form so quickly.
      2) In retrospect, I think this transitional “daydreaming” wasn’t necessary and I could just touch the rocks to stabilize the dream when still on the road.
      3) After waking up, I was really surprised by how bad my memory of the dream was. I have a theory there is a connection between my long-term memory being off in the dream (not remembering my goals) and the dream not being stored in the long-term memory.
      Categories
      lucid
    8. 9 July - Mirror, mirror, on the wall

      by , 07-10-2021 at 12:16 AM
      comment lucid

      WILD/pseudoWILD

      The post-WBTB part of the night started with a failed SSILD attempt. I vaguely remember doing 3 long cycles but I think I actually only did one or one and a half and did the rest in the dream. Which was a FA on a field next to a forest and then it developed into a longer dream… nothing to write about.

      Later in the morning, I found myself awake again (and reminded myself that SSILD needs to be done with the intention to expect FAs and to do a RC).
      I decided to do SSILD again, this time a bit more aggressively, to survive at least 3 and ideally 4 long cycles. But it actually put me into a WILDing position - there was motion hypnagogia during the 2nd cycle (bed shaking and similar sensations).
      R. was breathing loudly next to me, almost snoring. I considered using it as an anchor, but he changed position. I was doing my 3rd SSILD cycle and dreams or dreamlets were forming around me, but when I noticed them or engaged with them, they collapsed, like snapping out of a daydream. Imagining a scenario or location also didn’t work.
      I wanted to change position to the other side and fall asleep. I still gave physical separation a chance, even though I felt too grounded in reality - but as expected I moved with my real body and opened my eyes for a moment.
      I rolled over onto my other side and lazily did the last cycle. Knowing I wouldn't force my entry into the dream, I decided to just let go most or all of my awareness, to let my mind wander, just let the sleep come and the dream form, and to do a RC in a few minutes.
      There was a short semi-sexual fantasy (1 minute max). I don’t know if it was a dream or dreamlet or just visual thoughts, I was completely passive. I ended up half-sitting on my bed.

      Aren’t I in the dream already? I thought and tried to fully sit and get up. As I was getting up, my vision glitched and I thought “I did it”, not needing any RC.
      I slowed down a little and touched the sheets, they were silky. That made everything much better and I got up fully. I left the room immediately.
      The door to the second bedroom was bricked up. There was wallpaper around it, but there was only a wall where the door should be. And the hallway was extremely narrow, I could only just squeeze into the main part of the hallway. My first goal was to look in the mirror (in the hallway above the shoe cabinet). Almost there, I remembered that I’d wanted to look at my hands at some point (I've never used it as an RC and never examined my hands in my dreams). The front of my vision was blurry and/or my field of vision started 30-50cm away from me, I could only see my fingertips and my hands were disappearing in the fog. They were wide and strangely deformed and almost impossible to count. 6 a 3? I don't know.
      Then I looked in the mirror. It was clearly me. The image was distorted, but nothing disturbing - my face was a little wider and irregular and my eyes were a little slanted, but it was undoubtedly me and I was smiling, looking happy.
      I remembered that people use mirrors as portals, and since the plan today was to teleport (the main goal - to use the TV), I tried to climb into the mirror. It's small and it's high up, so I couldn't really do it, but it was obvious that there was space behind the mirror, I could stick my hand in and grab the frame from the inside.
      I wanted to put in a better location, so I reached behind me for a picture, but then I got a better idea - I went through the advertising flyers on the shoe cabinet and pulled one out. It had a beautiful landscape on it - blue sea, blue sky, green hill.
      I put it behind me so it would reflect in the mirror. It worked very well, the picture of the landscape filled most of the mirror and it looked realistic. I tried to climb into the mirror again, but as it was small, I got stuck and couldn't crawl any further.
      As I tried to use more force to push through, the dream faded.
    9. 24 June - Am I dreaming?

      by , 06-24-2021 at 09:01 PM
      comment dream lucid

      I woke up half an hour before my usual wake-up time and assumed I wouldn't fall back asleep, but after a while, I did and had a long, very shifting dream.

      Fragments (not sure about the order and transitions between them):
      - I'm packing my things for some big trip with my mom and my brother, packing a big suitcase. I'm almost ready, but they're not, and I'm rushing them because we have no chance to catch the plane. But they ignore me for the most part and I'm nervous and stressed.
      - There's a magician, a dangerous man, but he trusts me, probably because I'm willing to work with him and not ask questions. I go out of the building to dump something in the trash for him, probably magical waste. It looks like a pear in a plastic bag, plus some kind of box, but I know better than to check what's in it.
      - I'm out with my brother, we're going somewhere. Then we sit on a bench and I empty the mess out of my shoe and show the shoe to him. He says he doesn't want running shoes. I show him how it has a soft sole and offer him the shoe to try on.
      Then the magician is there instead, and there's a railing behind us and stairs deep down. Somehow my shoe falls down - either he throws it there or somehow accidentally causes it to fall. I look him in the eye and tell him he should bring it back. He looks at me, surprised that I have the audacity to say that to him, but without a word he gets up and walks down the stairs. I follow a few steps behind him.


      Leading to the lucid part
      I am traveling in a group on horseback, including family members, the plan is to travel on horseback through several countries and then by train, this is a replacement for the original plan.
      Then we walk through pastures and someone tells us there is a dangerous cow, but now there is just an older, very playful, calf and sheep playing together.
      We walk along a field track, there are fenced pastures all around, and there is a rhino in one. It's very dangerous. I wonder if they have something like a mini zoo and why they have a rhino if it's so dangerous.
      I get to the garden where there are some roses, new varieties that I've been talking to someone about online, and also a small-flowered clematis.
      There are more beds and I want to see more, but I'm disappointed, there's not much else, just weird vertical structures for vertical growing and some shade-loving plants. There's a woman I know from a gardening forum and she says it's not finished yet.
      Then I'm with some people, half in, half out, as if the garden has turned into a spacious interior. People are supposed to go through some doors, but they don't really want to, probably afraid of the rhino that's still out there somewhere. I walk through the door and someone asks me if I'm the last one through, and I say no.
      I get a yellow and black frilly dress and am told it comes with trousers. There is a group of girls around, each in different dresses, but all in black and yellow. I put the dress on and someone helps me pull it over my head, and someone else hands me the black trousers.
      Something weird is being done in the group, maybe magical.
      The woman near me - I recognize her as my former classmate, H. - is having a nervous breakdown.
      She asks, "How can this be happening?" She's hysterical and clutching her head. "Am I dreaming?"

      I chuckle and say, "I am, and so are you." I kiss her passionately on the mouth and tell her, "Go and enjoy it."
      Like I'm sending her out to enjoy her lucid dream. I say this semi-lucidly, not having the slightest intention of detaching myself from the dream. But as she disappears outside, I feel some responsibility for her and I follow her.
      I walk out the door and I'm in a large square. Directly in front of me are steps down to the main area of the square, and then to the right are more gradual steps up, probably along the town walls. H. is already a little ahead of me, he is now with someone, they have started to levitate and have flown across the gap between the steps and are now flying faster, up over the steps, and disappearing in the distance. I call out, "H., wait!" and I envy her such skill in the first LD and I know I won't catch up to her.
      I put my hand forward and begin to concentrate on catching her and her companion in an imaginary loop, then pull them back by the force of will.
      She stands in front of me, a little confused, but she understands that my abilities are greater than hers. I think to myself that I made a point, but that maybe it wasn't necessary, and let her go.
      I tell myself that since I'm so good at telekinesis, I might as well do what she did - try using telekinesis to fly - use it on myself.
      I'll give it a try and try to levitate down the stairs.I float a little, but at the same time, I am inevitably falling until I'm back on the ground, a few steps down.
      I try again and this time I try to focus on myself/catch myself into the imaginary loop and add the impello spell word, but it doesn't help, the same result as before. Like I can't use telekinesis on myself.


      I wake up after this.

      Notes:
      - Another semi-lucid into lucid type of dream. Sometimes I think I am sort of natural in semi-lucid dreaming, my dream me almost always knows it is a dream to some extent but it's hard to tell unless the dream plot makes it obvious. The breakthrough from semi-lucidity to full lucidity is still hard for me, though. And sometimes, it isn't a breakthrough at all, like it is all a spectrum.

      Updated 06-24-2021 at 11:18 PM by 98406

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    10. 23 June - Unexpected WILD

      by , 06-23-2021 at 08:42 PM
      comment lucid dream

      The postman woke me up.
      Back in bed, I remembered that I wanted to try lucid dreaming subliminal music. After a while, I was quite uncomfortable being on my back, so I found a position on my side that was compatible with headphones. But it still didn't suit me - I'd probably fall asleep, but it bothered me how my entire headspace was taken up by the music, even though I had it on minimum volume.
      I checked the time - half an hour had passed.
      I tried to fall asleep normally - changed position a few times. There were some visualizations - I imagined moving along a path and subconscious added the scenery around. It was quite nice, the landscapes were detailed, but it wasn't immersive and it wasn't going anywhere.

      I was on my left side and very close to falling asleep and felt very light vibrations. I remembered that I wanted to be more aggressive during WILD and get up right after the vibrations. So, without a single thought of my real body, I tried to get up and sit on the edge of the bed.

      And it worked. It had a real feel, but it was surprisingly easy, no duvet putting up resistance or anything like that. I did a nose-plug RC and could breathe. But at the same time it was unstable and I couldn't see anything. As I continued to get up, my head got dizzy, and when I tried to open my eyes, I saw my bedroom for a moment, the "dream filter" was on but it was confusing, and it felt like I was opening my real eyes out of the corner of my eye (probably an illusion), so I closed them again. And everything was shaky. I grabbed the curtain and used it for support and to stabilize - it was very fine, almost silky, not like IRL.
      I'm standing upright now, but still with my eyes closed. I walk carefully around the bed - I don't want to kill myself on the pile of clothes lying there. But in the dream, there's hardly anything there.
      Things are more stable, so I want to open my eyes, but I realize I'm starting to see, and instead of opening my eyes I blink and everything starts to become clearer. It's still confusing though and doesn't feel much like a dream. I leave the bedroom, hoping it will give me more stability and mental clarity.
      I go to the cat room. The furniture there is similar to real life, but it's tidier, and my cat is sleeping on the couch at the end of the room. She looks normal. When she sees me, she starts to stretch. I decide not to go any closer because I'm worried I might step on the real cat IRL (forgetting that my real body is in bed).
      As I leave, I hear a grunting sound, like something is bothering her, but it's a dream and I decide to ignore it and close the door.
      I'm going to the living room. It looks like it should - I guess - I don't look around too much and stay by the door.
      I still find it hard to believe that it's a dream, everything is so realistic as if I'm really there and I think how it doesn't compare at all with the visualizations. I do a nose-plug RC and take three breaths just to be sure, and I can breathe without a problem. I feel really weird because I haven't needed in-dream RC in months, but the dream feeling is so subtle that I can't wrap my head around that.
      I decide to try Tiktaalik's "focusing on the spine" RC.
      Spoiler for Result - don't read if you want to try it too:

      For some reason, I realize I'm naked, but I don't think it's RC related.
      I decide to go outside.
      I'm still aware that I'm naked, but it's a dream, so what. When I go outside, it's a strange feeling, being naked outside, but I don't see any neighbours. The street looks roughly like my street, but I don't examine the details.
      I want to try flying like an airplane (as I've imagined and incubated).
      I run down the street and call out in turn "Airspeed alive", "V1", "and rotate" and jump into the air with my arms spread wide.
      It doesn't work, I don't climb, I fall flat on the pavement, but I don't feel anything.
      I decide to try again, but this time I swap the lines, start with V1, but then correct myself and say them in the correct order and jump into the air again.
      I'm on a street corner somewhere and there are 3 guys, they look British and have Peaky Blinders haircuts. As I'm trying to take off, I jump on one of their backs (still naked). He doesn't look unhappy. I say "hey, handsome".
      He gets me off his back and takes me in his arms. He opens a door that apparently leads to a pub and puts me on a table. I'm not sure if he wants to hand me over to their care/get rid of me, or if he wants to share me.
      I start to feel myself waking up.


      Notes:
      - I am fairly confident this was a WILD, even though I was just barely aware when I felt the vibrations. I don't think I dreamt that, although it's hard to be 100% sure. Anyway, the continuity of going from being in the bed, trying to sleep, and then standing in my bedroom, lucid dreaming, was a total mindfuck.
      - I want to give that "flying like a plane" another try someday, maybe really focusing on the sensation of taking off and imagining it, rather than just saying the words. I have enough real-life flying experience to make it work.
      - I don't know why I steered it towards possibly sexual content, even though it wakes me up.
    11. 10 June - From a semi-lucid dream to lucid

      by , 06-10-2021 at 11:48 PM
      comment dream semi-lucid lucid

      The dream before the lucid parts wasn’t much coherent, my settings and my companions were very changeable, so I simplified it slightly, I am using the word companions instead of being specific and I am starting from a point from which I remember the dream reasonably well but it was actually longer.

      We were inside a building and we wanted to go outside to look for Karin, who was some kind of magical creature, maybe a fairy. She went out and didn't come back for a long time.
      I went outside and my companions came with me. There were gardens around us and it was dark, and we walked through the gardens and there were flowers, but Karin was nowhere to be found.
      Then we walked on the lawn around the building and there were soldiers walking towards us. They had the division number written on them - 100something. I knew their general and I remembered that I was in the 80th Division. But I didn't want to approach them because they would certainly want to know the details and I didn't remember the details. They walked past us and ignored us.

      Then I explained to my companions that it is our presence - that with our presence and attention this world grows stronger and becomes more detailed and real, that it is like the shadows in Amber and we travel through them like the princes of Amber... but I stopped because I understood that they didn't know Amber and my comparison or explanation didn't mean anything to them.
      Anyway, we should find Karin quickly and get out of here because more and more things are going to be happening around here. I also told them that it was fascinating how I remembered being in the 80th division, but that I was a little sad that it was actually a false memory.

      Then we were at some greenhouse or walled garden and I think we found Karin there and she came with us, or it stopped mattering.
      We were back in the building, now there were soldiers and infrastructure. We arranged at the window of a female clerk to hear us in a closed room. I also wanted her to arrange for me to talk to the general in private, as I was still feeling emotional about my membership in the division.

      We were in the room with her, me and two companions, there was someone there with her too, sitting across the table from us. I turned off the light and it was morning twilight and I said, "How about we make our own light" to my companions. "Or would that get everyone in this building on their feet?" In the sense that I wanted to make it clear that we were magicians, but again, not to stir up the whole building.
      I cast the Lux spell and so did my companions. I remembered that it didn't work in my recent LD (9 May) and now it didn't work either, my palm was empty. But there was something there, or was it just my imagination? I looked closely and there was a small light, the size of a pinhead. I tried to focus on it to make it bigger, but it seemed to be trying to escape my focused gaze. It glowed brighter for a moment, then I lost it for a second, and then it reappeared and was a cluster of little balls. It was still trying to move and escape. I physically grabbed it in my hand, it had a feel like plasticine, and tried to combine all the little balls into one bigger ball.

      At that moment I realized "I am lucid" and said it out loud.
      I was also immediately intrigued by the transition from semi-lucidity to lucidity. I debated whether to continue the dream story, but I figured I'd had enough of it (it was a good dream!) and it was time to do something else.
      So I was deciding where to go and what to do and I was tempted by something to do with water and remembered that my plan for Prague involved water, so Prague it was. Standing in front of the door, I quickly visualized the towers of the city and opened the door.
      Behind the door was still the corridor, but it looked different and the building was set up for an event related to my hobby activity (and related to Prague).
      I walked down the corridor further, to the left was the exit to the outside, straight ahead the corridor continued. I wanted to go outside, but on the corner between the turn and the continuation of the corridor was a lobby separated from the stairs leading outside by a glass wall, and I saw a table and a couple on it.
      Spoiler for sexual:


      Notes
      - I really liked the Amber analogy. I've been recently reading a lot about dream control and dreams formation and this is how my brain connected things together. BTW I recently met Corwin of Amber in a non-lucid dream, I would love to meet him lucid one day.
      - Going lucid in this dream - the "I am lucid" as "I've always known this is a dream but now I noticed that I know and can do something with it". Like when you do something and then stop and ask yourselves "what am I doing" and remember that you wanted to do something else. Like being there the whole time but stopping being distracted. Very smooth transition into lucidity.
      - Regarding the lucid dream sex: I always wake up quickly. I know some people say it is about expectations but it is not - I used to wake up from dream sex before I even knew what lucid dreams are and before reading anything about them online. I wake up simply from physical arousal, sometimes even into an orgasm (not this time). In both lucid and non-lucid dreams, I wake up after a similar time, which isn't realistic to the progress of the sexual intercourse in the dream (20-30 seconds of foreplay, usually). I don't mind, I still like it.
    12. 29 May - False lucid and real lucid

      by , 05-30-2021 at 03:04 PM
      comment dream lucid

      Thinking a lot about dreaming before falling asleep.

      Ramp
      Driving a motorbike off a ramp, jumping into the air. It was supposed to test something, maybe how someone got killed. Beaches all around and low tide.

      Walk with V
      With V in the forest, talking about how often I go out. I told him I help my family walking their dog.

      Hair
      I was talking with someone about which hairstyle I would like.

      False lucid
      I was walking down a path, playing some game. I think I did it for a second time and in an opposite direction, but that was just a vague memory. The rules were that you had to be lucid and do various tasks.
      There was a corner of a rock where the path led along a narrow ledge and I met a boy and a girl there. I offered the girl if she wanted to sit with me for a while and we crawled into this grassy alcove, letting the boy pass.
      I asked her what her name was and she told me her name. I told her I was Indigo. I asked how it was going so far and she said good, but she actually wanted to go so she wouldn't waste her time. So we said goodbye.
      It occurred to me that I've been lucid for a long time, that I've never had a LD this long, like 2 hours. But good for me - long LD = better chance of winning for me, while others have to do it in parts.
      I checked the paper with the tasks and it said to rubb our hands, so I did it, even though I thought I didn't need to, but I saw the organizer in front of me, so I wanted to get points.
      Then I saw more organizers around the corner and there was a fridge and I climbed on it and rearranged some food. I suddenly knew they were evil and decided to confront them - I told them I knew who they were and that they were serving the dark lord. They had a gun. I said they could kill me, but I had a plan to escape by waking up
      I closed my eyes and opened them and nothing, I was still there. That surprised me. I tried again and failed again. I remembered the reddit poll "can you wake up from a LD" and my answer "yes, reliably". That's what I get for that.
      I tried blinking really fast again, but it didn't work.
      Then I was in this labyrinth of big metal cabinets. I felt like I'd been lucid for an awfully long time, hours. I asked the organizers what they had done to my body in reality, that I was still asleep. They grinned, which worried me. Maybe I'm in a coma or something. But maybe not, and I have to wake up sometime. I figured there was probably a purpose for me there, something I needed to do. Somehow save everything and defeat them.
      I had this stick in my hand with some roots on the end. I've been poking around under the cupboards with it, seeing if there's some object that will allow me to save everything. I must have a reason to have that stick for...
      I felt myself waking up, and I thought "finally".

      I knew instantly that I was waking up from a false lucid.

      I logged keywords for the dream because I really liked it and wanted to remember.
      I felt confident that there could be a LD after this. I reiterated the intention to lucid dream. It took me some time to fall asleep again.

      Train to Birmingham
      I was at the station and it was about trains. Z said there was a train leaving for Birmingham and she was going to take it. I said that the train to Birmingham was useless to me, that we usually go via Manchester, and she was surprised.
      I walked with her on the way to the trains and there was the time and the Birmingham sign by the steps to the platform and it was flashing as if the train was about to leave. I hesitated for a moment but let it go, it wouldn't do me any good.
      I went back to the main concourse to look at the departures board to see what else was coming. The board was just changing.
      That's all I remember - the next was probably the transition into the false awakening.

      Real lucid - Meeting my dream guide
      I woke up in our bedroom and immediately suspected it was a FA. But as soon as I realized it, my vision got worse and I could only see two blurs. I was afraid I was going to wake up, but I knew I was still in a dream. It occurred to me to start picturing a deck chair and a beach or something, as what people do when they have sleep paralysis.
      Suddenly something disturbed me and I opened my eyes and I was awake and it was still a FA. Yes!
      I sat on the bed and R was awake next to me and there was also J. I knew I could ignore them, but I wanted to make them disappear with a snap of my fingers like in the daydream rehearsal, so I tried, but it didn't work, which I guess amused them a little.
      I started looking at what was the same in the room and what was different. Almost everything looked the same to me. There were these shelves and these pictures. I noticed that the frames of the pictures were a different color than they were IRL (actually, almost everything was different and we had no pictures or shelves IRL).
      There was also a wall cabinet with a brown fabric curtain and I had the feeling that something green was peeking out - an iguana. I went to look, but my cat came out.
      Goals! Verbal commands and then meeting my dream guide. I try "Clarity now!" but the dream already has great clarity, so what can improve? On the contrary, it gets slightly worse. But only for a moment. I leave the room and try "Increase lucidity", but nothing noticeable happens. I see a green jacket on the rack and I try to make it disappear. Might be easier than with humans. But nothing. I try again and the whole hallway to the living room disappears in a blur.
      I use the door to the second bedroom and walk into a large room that looks like a gym. There are mats, exercise equipment, and large windows facing the city street.
      I try to do a somersault on the mat, but I stop halfway through and just roll. The movement feels realistic.
      Goals! I walk across the room and shout "Dream, dream, give me my dream guide".
      I turn around and there's a curtain to the left of the windows (probably a mini room with more equipment) and my guide comes out from behind the curtain. She's a black woman, in her fifties, maybe early sixties (probably not, her hair is still dark brown/black and not grey), curvy but not obese, with big boobs. I met her once before in a daydream and she was an old white woman but I know it’s her.
      I said, "You've been here the whole time." She nods.
      We go and sit down on the leather upholstered couch that's appeared there for us. I said I didn't know how much time we had, or maybe she asked, either way, I knew she wanted and needed to know.
      I replied, "I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't come straight here. But I tried not to linger too long."She nods.
      I asked: "Will you teach me something?" She smiled.

      I started to wake up. Maybe she wanted to teach me DEILD? But more likely I was too excited
    13. 16 May - Bad night with very high awareness

      by , 05-20-2021 at 12:36 AM
      comment dream lucid

      Falling asleep approx. 5
      I vaguely remember having a FA in the first cycle.
      Awakening, can’t sleep because I am not feeling well. Time approx. 7. Taking ibuprofen to be able to sleep.

      Double FA
      I was sleeping in a long room with a bed. Then I was examining the room because I didn’t like something about it.
      I wake up in our bedroom. There is a wide blue ribbon hanging in our window, decorating the curtains. At first, I remember the long room - I am not there anymore - and I realize I woke up from a dream.
      Then I realize what the blue ribbon means. R wakes up too, also notices the ribbon and is confused. I tell him that it is a FA. Jokingly, because it is not real, I start to bite him like trying to eat him. But he screams like it’s real, so it isn’t funny. I want to “correct” the false awakening, focus as much as I can and wake up for real.

      Time approx 9. I don’t like the stupidly wasted opportunity but I can tell that my baseline awareness tonight is high and I am confident there will be another lucid dream later.
      Our cat starts doing noise, wanting to be let out of her room.
      Then she gets quiet and every time I feel like falling asleep, she starts again.

      The cat problem
      R went to solve the cat problem (blocking the door so she can’t scratch them and/or letting her out).
      R and I are again in the long room, there is another bed this time and two more people - a well known politician and his wife.
      Then there is some police activity going on and someone related to IT, there is a capable young IT guy doing something.


      I wake up from the dream because the cat makes noise again!!! How is that possible, when I remember R… ok, that was a dream. But I am confused for a while. Then I tell R, who also isn’t sleeping, to go and do it for real.
      Time 10:55
      I try to WILD but R next to me can’t sleep and I feel too distracted by him tossing and turning. Then I (almost) fall asleep but I wake up because I can hear his frustration - he says I was snoring. This happens once more. I don’t feel like sleeping but I know I can’t really tell…
      I am getting seriously frustrated because heightened awareness means nothing when I can’t fall asleep deeply enough to be dreaming.

      Seeing squares
      I am with my mother, in a room that resembles the long room from previous dreams but there is no bed this time. There are two windows, I peek through the blinds to look outside. I don’t see much the weather is bad and the visibility low. I try the second window, there should be mountains visible but I don’t see anything and my vision is bad, like there are square gaps.
      I sit behind a table with my mother and parts of my vision are still like pixellated, with some squares gray, which surely isn’t normal.
      I tell my mother that I think this could be a dream and she strokes my hand, looking pleased that I figured it out.
      I am not 100% sure yet, more like 99% sure. I get up and run towards a distant door, focusing on how it feels and quickly getting 100% sure. As everything around me gets slightly blurry, I slow down.
      As I reach the door, I decide to pass through it just because I know I can. It works like in the previous dream, the door open in the middle to let me pass through, like a double door. I do it once more with another door.
      I am outside and there is a black basketball player, looking like Michael Jordan, practicing shooting. I take the ball from him to try it too. We are very far from the basket but this is a dream, so certainly I can throw further than I would in reality. I try it but the ball doesn’t go far enough and it veers off to the right. I don’t feel like I want to try again.
      I stop for a moment. What am I doing? Don’t I have some goals?
      I finally remember I wanted to try creating a teleport portal and going to Prague. I go back inside, to the area between the two doors, to be alone and without distractions. I create a portal with my hands, as I planned it and imagined it. No visuals of the portal but that doesn’t mean anything. I spin around to give it something more. Then I try to go through the portal, thinking “Prague”. It doesn’t work. Again, I don’t feel like trying again.
      I go back to the main room, which now isn’t a small room but a big hall. There is a stall with some cakes. I just take some with my hand, ignoring the seller. I make a mess out of her cake display but whatever. As I go towards the main entrance to the hall, I try to eat the cake but it doesn’t have much taste and there is too much buttercream.

      I wake up.

      Time 12:34
      I slept more after this but I don’t remember any additional dreams.
    14. 9 May - Defying gravity

      by , 05-12-2021 at 09:13 PM
      Sunday is my WILD night. 10:35 five minutes WBTB, then WILD attempt but I wasn’t in the right mindset, I had problems with both concentrating and falling asleep. After some time, I went to sleep normally (setting the intent for watching for the dream and my favourite “if I see something = dream”) but had problems falling asleep.

      Non-lucid
      I am running from someone, I think it’s my brother, but I don’t remember why. I try to be smart - choose a different direction than he expects and changing direction often. I am running through some town, keeping my pace.
      Then I get to some kind of club, I am in a room and there are people. They are hanging six persons, they all already have the rope around their neck and they are told the sentence. I think they are traitors. But in the last second, the execution is stopped and they let them go, it is like a learning experience for them.
      I really like the club. They meet every week and I think I want to visit again next week to become a member.
      They leave and I am alone in the room. There is a huge duvet, filling a large part of the room. My brother appears and I try to hide in the corner, behind the duvet. He can see only the top of my head but he notices. I try to tell him something and I tell him about that club.
      Then there is a woman on a mattress. I don’t know why but I think she’s evil.


      Getting lucid
      I suddenly notice that I am doing something, seeing something and not trying to fall asleep anymore. Obviously, I am already sleeping and dreaming. And I can see that this isn’t some shaky half-dream, this is perfectly stable. Time to have fun.
      I want to leave the club room but the evil woman is still there, holding my hand and preventing me from leaving. With my other hand, I reach behind me, like trying to reach for something that could be used as a weapon. I can’t see anything in my hand but I try anyway and stab her. It works, she looks hit and in pain, holding her stomach. To be sure, I stab her again (and it works again, although slightly less this time) and I leave the room, entering a corridor.
      I go down the corridor, I walk very quickly, much more quickly than humanly possible. I don’t worry about the stability of the dream at all but when things get slightly blurry from my speed, I slow down and touch the wall. I notice that I wear gloves and can’t feel much but it doesn’t matter.

      Doing magic
      The corridor gets wider and I want to do my goal - magic. I want to do two spells, inspired by the books I am reading at the moment.
      For the first spell, I use the word “Lux” and a simple gesture with my hand, it should result in a werelight hovering above my palm. I try it for the first time but I still have the gloves, so I take them off. I try for the second time, nothing, for the third and fourth time, nothing. I remember that the hero in my book had to practice this for a long time, I probably just need more practice too.
      For the second spell, I try “Impello” which is basically telekinesis. I use it on a small ball and it levitates approx. one meter above the ground. I realize I have to use my willpower to keep it floating and to guide it, it isn’t just the word and the gesture.

      More magic and Jedi mind control
      I have a memory gap here. I took everything too quickly, locations shifted quickly and I don’t remember all details.
      I remember trying the impello spell again. This time, I shouted the word and focused on the gesture with my hand. I moved a ball (or something else, bigger?) up, then to a side, and then I lost control or overdid it a bit and it flew with a great speed maybe twenty or thirty metres from me, falling on the heads of some DCs. I found it funny. I guess I need more practice with this too.
      I also remember trying some Jedi mind control and the moving the hand thing on some DC but I don’t remember why. He said “these tricks” but did what I wanted.

      Flying
      I am on the stairs of my school and I think I could fly, maybe jumping from the top landing. But I am not sure.
      Then I am in a large hall, it is a mall or a marketplace with a roof. I want to jump from somewhere but all higher spots and the upper floor with a gallery are not accessible. So I try the superman style, with my hand up.
      It works and I can touch the ceiling but then I look down and it’s like in those cartoons, I am looking down for a second or two and then I start falling. I fall on my legs and partially on my hands too, cushioning the fall, the impact is a little bit hard but ok.
      I try again but this time it’s different, it’s like I am teleported to the ceiling and I levitate there like no gravity exists and I can examine a chipboard tile in the ceiling. I can remove it but decide to stop damaging the building and get back down on the floor - I am there instantly.
      I am not sure how much time I have left but I suppress the thought. Surely, I have plenty of time. No reason to think otherwise.

      Passing through a wall… or a gate
      The next goal on my list is passing through a wall. I don’t like the walls around but there are big doors, more like a gate and it is closed. Good enough.
      I try to pass through the gate and I can feel its solidity. I tell myself “there is no wall… or gate” and continue the movement. I don’t pass through but the gate opens like it was never closed and I am on the other side.

      Eating
      There is another hall, this time with many small shops and stalls. I am running out of ideas on what to do… I know, I want to eat some food.
      I go around the stalls but it’s all just clothing. Then there is a table with packages of tights or some underwear and among them jars of pickled gherkins. I casually open one of the jars (a woman DC with a kid, standing nearby, throws an offended look at me but I don’t care) and take the longest gherkin.
      I continue to walk and bite a piece of the gherkin. It tastes as it should but it’s also weird, like eating a gherkin first thing in the morning, just after brushing your teeth. Very sour and somewhat off, I don’t like it. I want to find something better.
      There is a small shop with vegetables. I walk in, seeing some carrots (small, raw, and dirty) and potatoes. It is very small there, there’s a fat middle aged woman shopkeeper, a counter and space for maybe two people. I can see they have some salads behind the counter and I decide to get some.
      I remember the discussion I recently read online about “can I get” vs “may I have” and choose the proper version “May I have a small salad” (in English, which isn’t my native language but I use it in dreams often because I live in an English-speaking country).
      The shopkeeper nods and asks me something which I have problems understanding. She wants to know if I want something else. I say “No, just the salad.” She asks if I want ketchup with it. I say “maybe some dressing” but this time, she doesn’t understand me, so I say “just the salad”.
      While she is putting grated carrot and something else into a small plastic cup, I notice there are some cakes too. I would prefer them over the salad but too late. A big fat man appears behind me and I don’t like it because he blocks my exit and my plan to take the salad and leave without paying could fail.
      The shopkeeper puts the cup on the counter and asks for money. I know I don’t have any but try to find some in my pocket anyway. Nothing. I want to leave but the shopkeeper and the fat man are angry.
      The vegetable in the cup changes into water with red sugar and starts to boil. I know I am doing this but it wasn’t my intention to do it. It’s like my magic has got out of control because I am in an uncomfortable situation. I squeeze around the fat man and I tell them that they should be grateful to me for showing them such an interesting magic trick. They are confused.
      I walk out and wake up.

      My heart is racing.
    15. 22 April - Forest changing into a city? I am not having this!

      by , 05-11-2021 at 11:37 PM
      comment non-lucid lucid

      The last dream of the night.

      I am in beautiful mountains with some other people (at least initially). We are on a freshly mown meadow, it’s sloping and we are going uphill, there is a forest. It is morning and it is still slightly dark and it is also very cold, I can feel the cold. We consider making a fire but we want to find a more sheltered place, closer to the forest.
      I go uphill, I think I am on my own now and there is a road and a crossroad, on the edge of the forest. I can see light through the gap in the forest created by one of the roads. There is a city. But it gets very foggy (as in real foggy weather) and I can’t see much, the trees around disappear in the fog. Then I see a car and I am worried how they can safely drive in this fog. The fog clears a bit and I can see a modern city with skyscrapers and there are houses where the forest was before.
      That annoys me a lot. I was in a beautiful forest, I want my forest back.
      I am not having this. I feel like fuck this,
      let’s go lucid and I say “nope, this is a dream”.
      I hear whoosh and it’s like going under water. Everything gets dark and shaking. I want to stabilize but how? I can’t see anything. Suddenly I find myself squatting or sitting instead of standing and I can feel something solid in my hands, which is good, but I am confused. Is this my real body in this position? If it is, I mustn’t move. But I move my legs anyway and I can see them and they are trembling.

      It starts feeling almost like vibrations and I start to feel my real body, noticing it is relaxed and in a normal position. I try to calm myself and DEILD but I am not successful, I am too awake.
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