side notes

It was raining heavily, and I think we (me, mom and dad) decided we needed to stop at grandma's because it was too bad to drive in. I think I was worried about driving on her road when it was so wet, because it's so narrow and gravelly.

Apparently we hadn't heard from aunt Dimple in two days. We were really worried and it was like we already knew that something had happened, that maybe she was close to death and this meant she had passed away. One of us brought up the question that, "wasn't grandma sick right now?".

However, we got a text from Dimple just as we were pulling in to grandma's road. Just as we saw that it was her, we passed by Dimple's white car.

We're in grandma's house, and we brought our cats with us. Only there are some kittens too. I see one of us trying to put down a kitten near a dog. My automatic reaction is, 'No, our cats don't get along with dogs at all!'.

I was in my grandma's room, settling some kittens in I think (I remember a fluffy orange and white one), and there's someone sleeping on the floor. I look over to see that they're naked, and I look away and head towards the door to leave.

I'm nibbling on a corndog on the porch but I don't want it anymore. My sister suggests I use it to get the dogs to go in their kennels. I tears off a chunk and throw it in one 'kennel' to get her dog, Duke, to go in, but he gobbles it up and leaves it. (They don't look like dog kennels at all, more like scrunched up boxes)

My sister is like, "no, no, you have to use the *something I don't remember*". She touches a yellow mark on the wall, and Duke stands at attention. Then I do the food thing again? Don't remember.

I repeat the treat-throwing exercise until a few more dogs are in kennels. I remember feeling frustrated dealing with all the them.

Real life notes:

Dimple is passed away.
Grandma doesn't let any dogs but her little one in the house, and they only have one other dog anyway.
We only have three adult cats.
I don't like corndogs.
Grandma's road has caved in before so it was a valid fear.
That's a lot of dreams involving water lately. I don't think it's because of having to use the bathroom - I just have bathroom dreams then.
I didn't take a melatonin last night because I was worried it was causing nightmare flashes again, but I did end up taking a small piece of a sleeping pill.

I'm carefully taking melatonin right now in an effort to fix my sleep issues, and my dreams are pretty crazy right now. Too tired still to really write anything down though.

First dream: I remember a room and casting spells from Harry Potter with a wand. I feel like there was some crazy stuff going on, like murders? Or someone chasing people around. Not sure if this was in the dream or not, but I remember wishing that I had memorized more of the spells, because I kept fumbling with trying to remember them as I was casting.

Second dream: I believe I was in a jungle with some other people, and we were climbing rocks (without any gear). There was water below, and a basketball kept bouncing around in the water as I tried to get it.

Notes: Because things have changed so much for me in the past few months, I ended up just setting aside my dream journal for about a month. It's hard to be dream motivated when things are so stressful. However, I think I'm ready to try again.

I read a post here about writing down your day's events at the end of the day, and I started doing that two days ago. Already I've noticed improvements. I was motivated enough this morning to write out a long dream.

I think I'll wait a week before picking out dream signs since I started over. Also, I don't know how the next few days will go because this morning, I woke up feeling like I was dying (stupid ovaries), so I may not care about writing dreams down as I reach for the trash can and some pain killers.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

09.27.2011

Shoujo Hop (Non-lucid)

Me, mom and dad were walking in the store on the far right. We saw an Asian (he had the typical features) standing there looking confused, but he looked towards me and I, walking ahead, moved back with mom because I was shy, so that dad was walking ahead.

The boy, who looked about my age, started trying to talk to dad in 'Korean'. Dad was like "okaaay" and started to walk on. I took pity and before I passed him, I stopped to help.

I had my hair up in pigtails like I went to bed with in RL.

I asked if he knew any English. He shook his head. For a second I wondered why he was there then, and how he understood me. I ended up moving on and saw that he'd gotten on pixiv. Maybe on a small black device, and I saw it that he was on pixiv in my head.

We walked on again and mom and dad were arguing about the boy. Dad thought maybe he was mentally retarded or something.

~Gap~

- I'm walking up to mom and the cart, and maybe I have something.

- I was talking to dad about product(s). There was a little more detail about the groceries but I didn't have the best recall.

~ Gap~

Mom ducks under a low hang. 'How cute it is', she said, and I was confused. I ducked under it, bumping my head. Then I see a baby seat on a shopping cart. I look at the baby in it as I pass, but it's kind of ugly and I wonder how mom thought it was cute. It looked more like a baby with a man's face.

As I passed it the mother came back. I tell her about bumping my head, but she seemed to ignore me.

~Gap~

I was walking along a swingset. The style felt more anime-like. Girls (5-6) were swinging. One saw me and pretty much flew off the swing and glomped onto me. A couple more piled onto me, and someone/me mentions/thinks that we looked like the Powerpuff Girls.

I think we were sprawled on the ground in a pose. I started naming off groups we could be, and the girl's expressions changed depending on what I said. They were amusing. Only one I remember now is Sailor Moon and some licensed media.

~Gap~

We were posting our cosplay pics online for a short time. One got taken down because the media was licensed. I saw the page on the internet. The pic link wasn't up anymore. I figured the cosplay based on the Japanese show(s) hadn't been taken down because it's harder for Japanese companies to wade through English pages.

The girls were less anime-like and older.

~Gap~

One of the girls, blonde-haired, was sitting outside a house on the porch. She said she was 'practicing her Kubota by _x_ anyone who went by'. She seemed to be glaring.

x = Something like 'taking care of'.

Me: Kubota from the manga Wild Adapter by Minekura Kazuya.

pixiv - A Japanese (fan)art website I go to often.

Side notes: My dad would never say 'okaaay' much less not help someone in need. Also, I totally understand the gap parts, I know why I'd associate certain things with other things. It was interesting to follow.

I had one other private dream.

Notes: 'Warning' and 'UKJp' stemmed from my hobbies, mainly being involved with fanfic in fandom, both English and Japanese.

I recorded all these with my iPod Touch by hooking up my earbuds, opening the voice recorder app and just clicking the record button whenever I woke up with a dream! It worked beautifully. Before, I was struggling with getting anything more than keywords down so this is an exciting breakthrough.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

04.16.2011

Warning (Non-lucid)

Mom was about to read a fanfic. There was a column of something online, but later there were three. There were warnings on the link titles at the top of the columns, you had to hover to read them. It wouldn't show them though, it would just show the title of the link. So I went into the source code to find it but it was all in Japanese. I found the line of English, and it had a word with a colon plus the warnings. It said that the story had scat, though I remember thinking that it wasn't quite that. I tried to warn her but she got angry at me. It was like the dreams where we fight or she's crazy. I cried but she didn't care. Honestly I just wanted to help, I didn't mean anything by it. I think this somehow involved my sister, like mom was looking over this for her.

Beach Contest (Non-lucid)

Me, my sister and my aunt were going to the beach for some kind of challenge that was going on. When we went we were worried that it wasn't actually going on then but what we saw when we got there reassured us. Even though I think it had something to do with there being more people, there actually wasn't that many there.

We're walking along the beach and there's feces on the ground. I think I point it out. My aunt starts running ahead and me and my sister run after. I try to avoid the feces but my sister doesn't at first. There's a dog running ahead of us, probably the one making the mess, and I get the feeling it's ours. It was a light brown and reminds me of a mini Cerberus from Eyeshield 21. XD We kind of halfheartedly call out after it.

I know at some point we go to a picnic table. My aunt gets up on the bench to the right and starts dancing. I get up on the top and notice some type of canopy overhead. I decide to leave the spot for my sister, though I worry how she'll stand without hitting her head. I go to the left bench to dance.

There are peanut butter M&Ms, but I point out to my aunt how weirdly shaped they are. They were big and kind of mutated. I think there was another kind of candy and we were trading, or she reached over and ate a piece of mine.

At some point there were these guys, part of the contest and against us, I remember seeing them in the water. I was shy but my sister went up to talk to them. Apparently there was this gum stuff keeping us together and it came off. I was shocked and swam really fast after her, though I hesitated for a second because in RL I can't swim and the water there seemed deep. But I had no trouble in the dream. My aunt was somewhere behind us. I remember the gum stuff got stuck to somebody's leg and I didn't want to pull it off because it'd hurt.

I was able to see myself, at least my face, as if from the sky. My hair was shorter, maybe a bit over my shoulders. It was dry from having been wet, and had my blond streak in it. I think I looked younger.

UKJp (Non-lucid)

England x China, fanfic chapters 1, A, 2 and 3. Deja vu.

Recall was really low the day before yesterday, and yesterday I only managed to write out one dream before bed. It was interesting but not solid enough for me to want to type up on the computer.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

04.07.2011

Song Assignment (Non-lucid)

We have to chose a song to turn in to the teacher at (my old) school, *Miss L. I randomly choose what's on, 'Sonne' by Rammstein. I'm called over to her in school in the back of the classroom and asked what I wanted to convey. I admit I just chose what was on.

She goes to the front of the class and turns on a stereo - it's all Rammstein songs, including 'Pussy'. I see C nearby moving her lips along to the lyrics.

Miss L says some stuff about how others have chosen Rammstein and probably something about how it was a bad choice. I could just feel her looking down on me. When she starts to say 'if some of you are fans' while holding up freezy cups with Rammstein stuff on them and other merchandise, at least five people raise their hands a bit (inlcuding C and J) but Miss L isn't paying attention.

- When I first got to school I realized that I'd forgotten my binder with pen and paper, and when I went to see if I had any in my locker, that I had no key to get into it. In class, J turns around and passes a stack of paper, the kind I used as a child to practice handwriting on. I take two and pass them back, saying "have some paper" or something like that. I somehow end up with a few utensils to write with too.

- Someone starts to defend me around when Miss L asked why I chose the song. After, Miss L drops my CD with the song on it into a trashcan with a black trashbag.

- I remember hearing her play the song throughout class because she paused it a few times as I was tuning in.

- I remember wondering how everyone got their songs to school. Surely not everyone had CD's or iPod's or whatever. I wondered how I got my song there, briefly considering my iPod (this might have been before Miss L threw my CD away).

- Around when she was obviously looking down on my choice, I wondered what I should have brung. Tori Amos? (One of her songs played in my head then.) What would I say when she asked why? All I could think was because she was my favorite. Isn't it kind of too personal to even want to tell her anything (for everyone)?

*Old gym teacher.

Esperanto Verbs (Non-lucid)

Looking through a list (row) of verbs trying to find a specific one.

Note: I went to bed with this on my mind.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

10.28.2010

Escape Underground (Non-lucid)

My sister says something about my sleeping habits.

- I think around this time, there's a view of my dark room.

Mad, I run away and into a dark underground place. I think mom yells after me, maybe I'm even chased after.

- Me and my sister find a store there. I see a baby shirt, one with a Dragon Ball Z design on it. I find a bigger one, though still a bit too small. Me and her find similar shirts (different colors) and we hold them side by side, but I don't think she would agree that they were the same.

- I've picked up this big glass design and am trying to align the bottom part with the stand it was on. I'm being careful, but I still end up dropping it. It's so fragile that it shatters. The person who was watching me heads towards me.

- I see a security guard by the door has been knocked out. He was trying to help me? He has glass on him, I notice as I head over and pick him up from under the arms to take with me. I enter a new underground place. It's dark, and I don't know my way, but then suddenly I do - a voice in my head? There's a way you can go around and miss anyone coming in. I circle around the people who are after me.

- Earlier: In the store, a boy was sitting at a table playing this game. As he played, he explained to me that you knock down mini trees using a stick(?) by finding their weak spots, which were brown patches. At first he didn't do very well, but got better as he went along. His dad, sitting across from him, nodded. The boy joked about something - his dad knocking big trees over with an axe or something.

- Earlier in store: I was worried about money - I only had a few dollars. I offered to get my sister's money when I got mine, but she refused. We weren't getting along in this dream.

- Jump: At this airport-like place I'm ready to get away, but I pass my sister who's coming up the stairs. She's wearing a purple shirt. I look away to the side as we pass. The scene repeats and we're both putting up our hair as we pass (me to try and change my looks; my hair was down and I was going to braid it).

She sees me, asks "Think you can get away?". I immediately leap into action by jumping off the platform onto the one below. About here is where I feel deja vu for this place (I think I know which dream it came from). I leap onto the next platform below. This scene reminds me of the scene on the Narada in Star Trek 2009 where Kirk jumps platforms; I did rewatch the movie that night. Also had a Star Trek dream before this one.

I'm worried about getting away, because now that she's seen me, she must have sent someone after me.

I don't know if it's me going to bed earlier or what, but my recall has been uber high. Still want to get it a little better - I don't want just long and many dreams, I want to remember more details.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

10.27.2010

Two Sides (Non-lucid)

Anime-style. There's a girl who has two sides. In teal-haired mode she can summon her minions. A boy (brown hair) is friends with the light pink-haired side of her.

The teal half wants the boy's soul or something and sends her minions after him. At one point he's hiding in a closet clutching the door shut as hard as possible.

- At one point he(?) is in a dark place like a chamber, blindly searching for pink girl. His hand touched a little lock on a grate on the floor.

Mmm, Donuts (Non-lucid)

I was in class. I stacked some books on my desk and put them under the chair. They were heavy and it hurt my hands, but I made sure not to show anything. An angel walked around the room and stopped at me. She came up close, clutched my fists in hers and said a special message to me - general uplifting things, and she healed my hands. It did seem to make the pain almost disappear.

Dad was at the front of the class ahead of me (I think I was on the second row to the right, three or four desks down). I believe some kids were talking about roleplaying games, and dad started talking about Nascar and the gestures to indicate driving. I followed him out of the room and glomped him. I told about him about the angel.

He ended up dragging me to the doctor's office in the school(?). We were sitting on a window-seat type area, me kind of hidden behind him. The doctor came in and dad made a joke about me, something about being dead that was supposed to mean that I was invisible. He asked if it was okay for me to be there. The doctor asked him to strip down, and he did, down to his gray boxers which he owns in real life.

Suddenly there's a kitchen area in front of us and people are making donuts in a big deep friar. She sees me eying them and gives me a tiny piece, saying that she 'can share her donuts'. As she gives me a bigger piece, dad leans over to the side and snags his own. The donuts are like glazed ones, but with chocolate on top.

- Jacob was sitting beside me in class.
- My hands began hurting again soon.
- When Dad was talking about Nascar, I turned to Jacob and said 'that's my dad', but he didn't seem impressed.

Changed my colors. Also, only one page left in my dream journal! Then I move onto a new one. This one is starting to look beat up anyway, from being in my bed. Plus the cats trampling all over it. I've had it since June 2008. I hope that the next one will go faster - because it has longer entries in it, not just a bunch of fragments!

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

10.25.2010

Darkness (Non-lucid)

I think it was completely dark. A creature made of dark substance was attacking me over and over again, and it couldn't be killed.

Bugs? (Non-lucid)

Star Trek like world. A guy wearing a Trek uniform took out something from it that was covered with black dots. He looked to the doorway were a woman was standing, giving her a questioning look as he held it up.

A Book Lover's Habit (Non-lucid)

We either went to a bookshop or walked through one. As we were leaving, I got distracted by looking at book titles and then the two people in the room. I said something to them and started to leave, and again, and the last time I started to leave I really got distracted. I think we talked about a previous transaction I had with them, and then we talked about these two forms, green and red, and something about one or both of them being my consultant.

I started to fill out the green form hurriedly, and my writing was messy. I accidentally signed my name (looking really bold, like I'd embellished it) in Japanese, as ケイトリン, and the woman pointed it out to me. I said it was an accident and wrote my real first name under it.

She said it was okay, and then started talking in Spanish about how someone she knew said some phrase sometimes. She repeated the phrase twice, and it was short. Might have had 'que' in it.

I knew mom was going to be mad, because she was outside in the car waiting. I took the red form with me to fill out later.

I got in the car and yep, mom was mad. I'm pretty sure there was someone else in there too. I was apologizing, and as I gestured, a half-eaten green sucker I had in my hand flew off the stick and landed somewhere in her direction. That actually eased the tension and we laughed a bit.

- Earlier: 'Bike', paint, my sister

- Might have taken place in this dream: masturbation in my mom's bathroom.

Fragments (Non-lucid)

~ My sister told me that she liked 'BL/yaoi'. She explained that gay relationships were more complex and interesting than the relationships you normally see in shows (which is actually my reason). I believe this took place in her living room, and her boyfriend was in the room.

- Mom, mad, my friend, pix?

~ I believe I(?) was in this room full of people. There was this game where you have to kiss someone or you're killed. Me and a boy shared a (bad) kiss. Then we had sex. Most explicit sex dream I've had in a while, and I think most detailed.

Bladder Desperation (Non-lucid)

Deja vu dream, as if I'd gone through the ordeals in it before.

Takes place in a school-like place.

I have to use the bathroom, but every one I come to has too many people around, and it's mixed. At one point I start to go in one but a guy comes in!

I pass a food court and a girl calls out to me, saying something like 'you're sitting with us, right?'. I look and the people at the table don't particularly seem familiar. I get the feeling she doesn't want someone else to take the seat. I pass on.

I see a girl, possibly with short dirty-blonde hair (I think she works there) and ask her if she knows of a private bathroom I could use. She takes me with her and we go to the staff area, where the counter is. We squeeze past them (I think the manager guy is there) as the girl explains that I really have to go. The guy and a few others tease me, saying something about bladder desperation and how it can be hot.

- Somewhere around here, I look at my finger and it has salt on it. I lick it off, and the guy says I should eat it with ice cream (I think this was inspired by me wanting to try french fries with ice cream in real life).

He (and a few others?) end up coming along with us, leading me through some very weird obstacles, one being having to wait for just the right moment for these yellow bed foam pads to swing away before you dived onto this other slippery, squeezing material and dug your way through. It was extremely hard and I didn't think I was ever going to claw my way out.

When we finally get there, it's a small space with netted areas off to the side. People are sitting at a table on one side, and on the other there's a guy playing with a kid on some more foam I believe.

I'm pretty worried, because the whole reason I couldn't go before is because I have a shy bladder, but there's people here too, and in a closed space.

I think they realize I can't go there when they see the people. One guy suggests that there's a place outside I could go - think he had before. I think I considered that I'd need toilet paper then.

- Earlier?: I'm singing on a show (with Lizzie McGuire?). We're sitting in a classroom.
- There was a girl sitting beside me and I mistook her for someone I knew who looked just like her, only she had one eye (I watched a Futurama episode night about Leela). I believe it's the two-eyed girl who tells me I sing well, even though I thought I wasn't singing my best because we weren't actual recording. We sung more than once.

Note: The whole reason for this dream was because I went to bed having to go, and every time I woke up after that I ignored it. Just before this dream my bladder was definitely started to get annoyed with me, but once more I ignored it. It was actually really interesting to see the dream that resulted from it.

Whew, the power went off at least twice last night! Scared the pea soup out of me at 1 A.M., but I did get to write down a dream.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

06.09.2010

Generator (Non-lucid)

The Axis Powers Hetalia characters had different names. I was coming up with scenarios for them.

Note: For the past week I've been working on a writing scenario generator.

_________________________

Stalking the Floor (Non-lucid)

Riley was walking slowly, crouched along the floor beside my bed.

In real life, I looked over the side of my bed and made a noise to get her attention - but she wasn't there.

_________________________

Two Rings (Non-lucid)

A bad guy was after these three tiny flying people for the two rings they had - one with a white diamond and one with two birthstones in it. The little people were young.

The oldest one (a boy) was captured but managed to get away, bad guy following behind. While distracting him, the little person dropped the rings in two separate places along the road. The bad guy almost caught him with the second one, but the little person distracted him again.

~ He went to a building that the other two (think one was a girl) were in. He had the diamond ring and tapped some morse code out to get their attention. They flew over and talked to him.

- There was swimming in the beginning I think, in really murky water. 'I' was worried about how I'd keep track of the other two, but then someone grabbed 'me', I think.

- In the end, the bad guy was dragged off by the police(?) for something else. Disturbing the peace?

- To fly, the little guy kept having to get a running start to get going.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

13.06.2010

Humans for Vampires, Apparently (Non-lucid)

Fragments...

Spike (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) got stabbed in the stomach. I was crying and helping him along. We got to my sister's house, I banged on the door. When we went inside, there was Edward (from Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter) with a weapon concealed as some household item (like an umbrella). He's crouched down and looking antsy. He's not happy with me barging in.

Earlier...I walked up to Spike, and when he turned around I saw that he was all pale(r than normal) and looked sick. I joked to him that 'he was still attractive though'. He started burning/blistering in the sunlight, though it wasn't that bright and we were under the shadow of a roof thing. Maybe that's when I saw he had a stab wound?

'Oops, I Did it Again' by Britney Spears was playing in McDonalds at some point. What's the McDonald dreams???

We (me and ?) were chasing after a woman who'd apparently caused this. Think we saw her at an airport. She was a mix of anime and real life and it was curious who she seemed out of place, and reminds me of Lum from Lum Invader (pictured above, only taller, older and deep green, shiny hair).

She/the enemy was sorry and sowed up Spike's wound in apology.

Notes: I don't actually find Spike attractive, so that remark was interesting. I haven't heard that song in forever either. And this is my second McDonalds dream...is it because of APH or is my subconscious is just craving Mickey D's? XP