lucid

Night 14 I had 4 NDs, nothing interesting.

I took a nap from 17:00 to 17:32. I had been listening to music, relaxing and visualizing for a while before that. I turned music off and it was lights out nearly instantly. FA wiped a lot of details from my LD.


...I'm in a car. "I almost lost the dream. Well it's been surprisingly stable so far. I should try to actually do something cool..." I think. I hold my hand out of the car window and try to do magic. Bright blue and yellow waves and sparks shoot out of my hand. It's not the colors I wanted, but I think I can make something with it. A DC stand outside the car and walks over to me. Dream ends.

I "wake up" (FA) in my old room. It's middle of the day. Mom is back from morning shift. My brother is there too and comes to my door. "Oh, he's sleeping." I get up faster "No I'm not, what's up?" He comes to my room with a plastic bag. There's some running clothes in it. "Mom wants you to try them on to see if they fit either of us." I had false memories of already trying them on in a hair saloon looking place. "I've tried them on, they fit." I say and my brother goes to the kitchen. I put my earphones on the table and follow. My sister's second oldest is visiting. In the kitchen I remember the lucid dream again. "I should write the lucid dream I had down before I forget details." and I wake up. You can bet your butt that I RCed after that. I was so mad. That FA cost me most of my lucid dream.

First thing I recall is following a group of three. One of them is a girl with brown hair. My vision is going to black. I calm down and look at my feet. I stay in. The group stops. Dream trying to end?
"Letaali? Letaali! Are you still in?!" the girl yells my real name.
"Yeah...yeah." I answer. For how long, remained to be seen.
"Say the phrase so I know you're in!" She continues to yell at me, she sounds honestly worried.
Phrase? I think for a second and then start repeating "I'm in a dream...I'm in a dream..." As I do, I become lucid, at least for a moment.

Thanks to false memory from before I was lucid, I believe I was in another dreamer's mind with the group. We used a computer to enter a digital world connected to the dreamer. My lucidity ended very fast when I suddenly fell through a digital wormhole.

I was in a black and white world. A Finnish town? No electricity, so this was a long long time ago. It was night and there was a sauna inside the church on the hill. Town people used it. A fire spread from it. Two people yelled at each other on the street while the church continued to burn. I tried to recognize people from their surname and looks. I was just an observer. I was pulled out of the world.

I'm in a room full of computers. My connection was severed. My team is there and the girl helps me create a new connection. They have a very complicated machine that creates a "fingerprint" for me. It's a metallic box that allows me to connect again and keeps my mind safe from attacks. While I'm setting up again, there's a dude in the room who has a superpower. His mom is in the room too. She talks about her son's power. Apparently he's some sort of "Painter" and once he unlocks his true power, he doesn't need a partner.

I love it when DCs try to help me become lucid.

I'm in my brother's old room. My brother is in the backyard with three women about to have sex. My mom is hanging from the roof and throwing rice on them. I start to question reality. This can't be real. I focus on my state and what I feel. Slowly I start to feel my real body and I stop there, don't want to wake up.

My brother is no longer outside, but one of the girls is. She has long blond hair and nice curves. She wants to talk to me and attempts to write something on the glass with her finger. I know it's not going to work and she realizes it too. I quickly get to the backdoor and let her in. Her body is no longer as curvy, sad day. "Having sex would wake me up. Lets not wake up immediately." I think.

And so we talk. She's energetic and likes me. We talk about music and dancing. We go to my room and I ask her to phase her hand through a lamp that I summoned out of thin air. She acts like she's doing it, but she really isn't. I show her how. With a little effort, I manage to phase my hand through the lampshade made of glass. I think my hand fused with the glass as it went through. I feel the glass squeezing my arm. We listen to music and I try to show her how I dance, but I struggle with it. Why is dancing so hard in dreams for me? After that I go to bed and ask her to join. Her body is pressed against mine and it's like lava. Not literally, but her warmth is intense. Shortly after I wake up, you can guess why.

Four nightmares last night. I blame the new mantra that I decided to try after a bad dream I had recently.

Here's Johnny!
I see a crude, black and white character creation screen and a small bedroom behind it. The "graphics" of the bedroom are life-like. I have to play a female character, but I get to choose an adjective that will determine her background, starting items and the story I experience. The prompt is "I am ______ ." First I write "I am holy." and I see the small bedroom change. Everything is white, golden and shiny, like some royal bedroom. But then I get an idea. What if my character got it on with all the NPCs? That would help me in the game for sure, and would be entertaining for me. So I write "I am dirty." and hit enter. The room instantly transforms. Everything looks worn, colorless and dirty. I manifest in the game as a teenage girl wearing a colorless dress and long blond hair. No shoes, no starting items, nothing.

There's a brand new door in the room. I didn't see that in the previous version of the room. The door has a large window and I can see that it leads downstairs to a mansion. The house beyond the door is in good condition, unlike my room. I go down the stairs, looking for the first NPC. I feel like I'm trespassing. I turn right after the stairs and the house starts to remind me of Resident Evil 7. I feel a person approaching behind me and I hide behind a cabinet. I remind myself that I want to meet NPCs, why would I be scared of this first one? I step forward and meet the stranger. It turns out to be Jack from RE7...well shit.

I attempt to talk, but he just wants to kill me. I run and meet a young man with a weapon. He tries to protect me, but Jack makes short work of him. I find an exercise machine with a saw blade and some chainsaw chains stuck in it. I pick up the whole thing and try to hit the saw part into Jack. I succeed and Jack informs me that I dealt 63 dmg, while he pulls the blade out of his body. "Unfortunately, you would need to hit me 40 times with that!" he continues. Jack gathers the chain around his fist and tries to punch me. I summon a bucket out of thin air and block the attack. He's way stronger than me. There's no hope of winning this fight. So I peace out...by waking up.

Don't Fall
I'm back in army. For whatever reason I'm on top of a six floor building. It's windy and I lose my footing. I slide off the edge, but manage to hang on. However, the roof is smooth, there's nothing to grab and I can't hold on forever, I'm bound to fall. I am scared. And so I peace out again, by waking up.

LD 90 - Gravity Manipulation
I'm in army AGAIN. This time I'm in the building, on fifth floor or something. I'm just observing two anime characters having a dialogue. They disappear and I notice the hallway I'm in has toilets. My roommate appears from one room and asks "Where do they keep the lawn mowers here?" I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but I see a cleaning lady and ask her about it. "Each barracks has a storage on the first floor." "Right, you heard her." I tell my roommate and he wanders off.

Scene changes. I'm on the roof again. This time there's two DCs with me. Wind takes me off my feet again and I slide off the edge. I manage to hold on with both arms, but there still isn't anything to grab. I hope one of the DCs would help me. They see me, but don't act. I feel fear and become lucid. "I'm not falling. Calm down." I tell myself, but I can't shake the fear. I focus on feeling lighter and that works. I decide to flip gravity all together. I want to feel gravity pulling me from the opposite direction. Free fall into space. That would be a new one. I start to feel being pulled into the sky. I see a light on the roof. It's the tractor beam of a spaceship! Then everything becomes blurry and I go blind. I fail to bring visuals back before I'm pulled out of the dream completely and wake up.

Then the last dream was some rich kids having an orgy in my grandma's house while she was gone. Also my hair looked terrible in that dream. I consider that one a bad dream too.

I'm on a road going through a snowy pine forest. The road is covered in frost. False memory claims that I'm on Saturn's moon. I doubt that. I feel further away and I can't see Saturn. I climb a hill and get off the road. There's a holy tree and two humanoid DCs there. The tree is white, big and has no leaves. Reminds me of Game of Thrones. Lucidity slowly creeps in. One of the DCs throws a special looking mortar and pestle in the air. It's their holy symbol and it can't touch the ground. The DC asks if I could help him. Maybe put the mortar and pestle in the orbit so it never falls. "Sure" I say and grab the items.

I jump up and fly to space without effort. I see the blue hue of the upper atmosphere and the darkness of space beyond it. I see the horizon starting to curve more and more as I rise. I try to guess what altitude is good for a stable orbit. "I'm probably a bit too high." I make my way down to a good level and start accelerating.

I reach my top speed pretty soon and I'm not happy with it. Underneath me I see a medieval countryside and spot the Norwegian Flag. Not the first thing I expected to see on an alien planet tbh. I relax my body and focus on more speed. I get a small boost and see a massive castle in the distance. It is so huge that I have to look up to see the top of the main towers. The walls disappear into the horizon. The whole thing is about one third of the planet's surface area.

My top speed is still too little. I extend my left arm in front of me and hold one finger up, stating "GEAR 1!" I raise another finger and state "GEAR 2!". I feel a significant speed boost. I'm getting closer to the castle wall. I keep counting up and accelerating, until I reach gear 9 and the castle walls block my path. I slow down and fly up. I appear to be at some kind of dam. I see three massive blue holograms on the wall next to the dam. Some sort of ads, it looks like. Alright. I think I'll fly back to the guy and say that it's not possible to put this item into orbit due to the castle. I wake up speeding up again.

YEAH! I had fun. Great to have a lucid dream like this, compared to the struggles I usually experience.

I was adjusting my sleep and got lucid during a nap. Another personal goal attempt. I should keep count. Would be interesting to know how many times I had to try before I succeeded.


I'm with old friends on a trip to some far corners of Finland. We stop at some gas station that's selling all sort of stuff. There's a circular, wooden hot tub on sale. The thing is 10 cm deep and 50 cm across. I can hold it in my hand. I think my whole party of 6-8 people can fit in it easily, so it's size is a bit paradoxical. The tub has vihtas and a sauna stove. I buy the tub.

I go back to my friends. They are in sauna, so I join them. It's not too hot. I tell them of my purchase. They like it. The sauna has rows of bunk beds with blue covers and my friends are resting on them while enjoying the heat.

After sauna, people get dressed and get ready to sleep. I chat with some of the girls, when a small hand movement turns back time. "It was 1am and now it's 9pm!" I exclaim loudly as I look at the nearest person. It's Hanna. We are outside the gas station again. I go to her and say "I turned back time!" I look at the nearest clock and slightly move my hand. Time moves forward and back without effort. I stop at 9 pm and become lucid. The first thought on my mind is sex, unfortunately. I get close with Hanna, but I manage to drag myself away from her. It might be too late, I feel being excited in waking life. It might pull me away from the dream. Sure enough, visuals are instantly gone as I focused on waking life. I stay calm. Even without visuals, I know the dream is around me. I have to focus on seeing something in the dream. I choose Hanna's pants. Old blue shorts with a thin white stripe. Nice, I'm back. Time to go.

I want to try my personal goal again. I fall into my old plan and search for a doorway there. I want to believe the dream can show me the way, so I just walk away from the station. The road turns into a field of flowers. Visuals become a little weird. The ground is tilted 20 degrees, but I feel like I'm walking on a flat surface. I find a white wall with flowers painted on it. There's a small square shaped wooden door with a flower shape carved on it. I would have to crawl through it in waking life, but here I just open it and step through. First there's nothing but white on the other side. I keep hoping to find the way to the frozen planet, but this doesn't appear to be white snow. Details appear. Odd looking, wonky, white corridors in every direction. I'm in a maze. "No worries, this is the alien spaceship. I'm closer to the frozen planet. This will work." I think optimistically.

I look for a path going up, trying to find the bridge, but I fail. The white corridors have crudely drawn symbols at crossing paths: heart, club, spade and diamond symbols. Looks like someone used colored pencils to draw this world. But it gets weirder. Twitch emotes live here. They bounce around in small clouds and some of them merge together. For some reason the army of emotes scares me. I remember another dreamer suggesting laughing when scared, so I do that. Laughing appears to do nothing. I end up on a dance floor full of these emotes and I'm attacked by hundreds of vampiric Kappa faces that have merged together. I wake up.

4.1

LD 87 - Mind controlling monsters

I'm in middle school. There's a stand-off between me and two other students. I have a knife, the guy closes to me has a knife too, but the third guy pulls out an M4 rifle.
There is absolutely no way for me to win now. I drop my knife in the hopes that he calms down. He isn't calming down. The other knife holding guy moves between me and the rifle man.
BANG! Knife guy takes a bullet for me. Looks like it went straight through his lower torso and thus hit the spine. He's dead af. As he falls down, the rifle man fires again. I'm hit. A large piece of flesh is hanging out under my right arm. Is that a muscle? People are screaming. I also feel a stinging pain in my arm and back of my head. I try to find a nurse, but even school staff seems uninterested in helping me.

I wake up and journal this, but the dream continues when I fall back to sleep.

I'm home. The house is unfamiliar and has two floors. I remember being shot and check under my shirt. There's no wound or scar. My family is acting weird. Another school day goes by and I get back home.
I check for the wound again and now there's a scar. "Someone made me forget?" My sister's oldest kids are visiting. The second oldest realized something is wrong too. He had a new game he had been playing
and had forgotten his progress, which was still visible as a game save. Dad got home, but he wasn't my dad, instead he looked like the actor Ray Liotta. He was behind this and instantly knew that I saw through it.
He runs into my room looking very angry. I'm so scared that I become lucid to save myself from further stress. I stop time. Ray just stands right in front of me. I'm not lucid enough to free myself from this particular scene. I try to tell myself that I can make the world fade away and do what I want, but I appear to be stuck. Suddenly everyone is sitting in the living room. I try to make Ray's head blow up. I visualize his head exploding and blood covering the walls, but nothing happens. I grab his legs and easily swing him against the wall and through the table. Nothing seems to be harming him.

Scene changes and the dream continues non-lucid. To summarize: I figure out that someone is mind controlling my family and a lot of other people. I find an organization in the city that have alien tentacle monsters in a large tank that have this mind controlling power. Dream ends before I get to do anything about it.

I guess this was low level lucidity. I didn't recall my tasks or anything. I tried to free myself from the narrative, but failed.

17.11

LD 84 - Animal Abuse and Ladies The title is extremely literal, read at your own discretion.

I'm in a large store that sells pretty much everything you can think of. There is a room with a lot of whiteboards and transparent boards.
A couple of DCs and I use permanent markers to draw on them, only realizing our mistake after drawing. Our red drawings will be on them for a while.
I wander off.

In a small room I hear kittens wrapped in blankets. I uncover the kittens and see that one of them is dirty and starving.
I'm furious. The kitten is very vocal, begging for food I assume. I pick her up. I'm ready to adopt her and the other kitten to save them.

Dream skips. Two of the store's staff are outside, behind the store, trying to kill the kittens and doing a poor job.
I see one hind leg of the kitten separated and a bloody mess of a kitten crawling away. I AM BEYOND FURIOUS!
A magnum revolver appears in my hand. I point at them, but calm down and instead end the kitten's misery with one bullet straight through the head.
I put the safety on and holster my gun.

I walk away. I appear to be at the elementary school I went to. The yard is literally full of Asian women. They are equidistant from each other, just standing there.
Maybe 300 women or something. This is unnatural, I must be dreaming. I approach one of the Asian girls who's wearing a violet top.
She doesn't seem to like my approach, so I mind control all of them to like me. And it works, you can guess the rest. I end up waking up in the middle of things.

12.12

LD 85 - Void Again
My brother drinks whisky and we talk for a long while. He is actively trying to make me realize I'm in a dream.
Finally I do. I apologize for taking so long. I ask him where he would like to go. "Spain." he responds. Spain it is.
I lock my hands in with his and fall backwards. I believe there to be a portal on the floor behind me. Indeed there is. I fall into the void.
Everything disappears. I do not sense myself or my brother. I try to form a scene, but end up waking up before anything appears.

23.12

LD 86 - A Little DEILDy
I'm in a hospital. A dark haired nurse is reading a comic and I read over her shoulder. I'm actually leaning against her.
I'm a patient. The comic is about the Duck universe. I notice that I'm a bit too close to her and I back off.
She starts ranting about me hitting on her being wrong. I honestly just wanted to read the comic.
I try to grab the comic from her but she doesn't let me have it. I'm mad. I roll away with my wheelchair.
Another nurse enters the room. She has blonde hair and absurdly small nose. I like her though, she's kind.

Dream dissolves. In the darkness I feel my real body. I'm pretty much awake. But the darkness still feels... malleable.
"Hospital. Corridor." A scene appears in front of me. I grab the wall. "I'm dreaming. This is a lucid dream."
I continue to hold on an focus on more details. I am holding on to a door. The handle is black. The hospital's floor is dark blue.
I don't feel that connected to my dreaming body, but visuals and hearing are crystal clear. Like I tend to, I hear music without source.
A woman is softly singing. I begin to explore the hospital. I go to the second floor, rush past a lot of DCs going about their business and glide down a staircase.
I was ready to phase through people, but they all dodged me.

I enter another corridor full of people. In the middle of them I see a woman singing the song I've been hearing all this time.
She's slightly shorter than me and has medium length blond hair that has been dyed orange a while ago. She has a loose white shirt and smiles as she sings.
Dream dissolves again when I touch her.

0:40 - 6:10

Friend of a monster

I was sleeping outside, on the hillside next to a small dirt road, next to a forest. I got up slowly and saw an overweight kid biking towards me from what I assume is a small town in the middle of this forest. I walked over to him. He was scared of a monster that had been in the area. He wanted to hide in the forest. I joined him.

In the forest, there was a clearing with a house on the edge of it. There was also a massive tv screen attached to two trees not too far away. It had live feed from a camera, but we saw nobody around. Someone was filming us and we couldn't see them. Pretty quickly we figured out it must be the monster and it was invisible. We kept looking around in panic, anticipating an attack. Then I felt a connection with the monster. He was human, invisible and had the ability to move objects with his mind. He gently lifted me in the air and placed me on top of the house. He didn't want to harm me, but the other kid had done something to piss him off. I could sense that he wanted to hurt the kid. I didn't want that...and I guess the monster sensed how I felt. He stopped and instead tried to lift the kid on the roof as well. The kid was too heavy and just flailed in the air for a bit, until I woke up.

WBTB. I was up stretching, drank some water, and visualized becoming lucid in the previous dream. I was up for 40min. Fell asleep with the mantra "I'm dreaming", which has worked fine for me before.

7:00-8:03

LD 81 - Flow

I'm a disembodied observer in the same forest from the previous dream. I wander to a river. There are some sewer pipes that I focus on, because the river was flowing into the sewer and it seemed really odd. I'll skip describing it, but I studied the system closely. I got out of the underground pipe system and I was in a different part of the forest. There was a small abandoned town next to the river, on a small hill.

I manifested a body in the middle of the town. The town was literally just six small houses or something. They were built around a small marketplace with a well. Next to the well were two unusually large apples that had been peeled weirdly. I picked one of the apples from the ground and used the water from the well to clean it a bit. The water in the well was dirty. Then a short monologue happened in my mind.

"I shouldn't eat this apple."
"Why?"
"Because it was on the ground and isn't yours."
"This is my dream I can do what I want!...wait"

Finally the lights turn on in my head. I take a bite out of the apple and throw it away. I continue walking through the empty town. I sometimes question if I was actually lucid in a dream, if I didn't RC...so I do that just in case. I plug my nose and breathe through easily. The dream was a bit fuzzy. I look at my hand to stabilize. Some fingers look like baby fingers, mildly disturbing. I force them to change into normal fingers.

I have my earphones on and I hear music. Outside of the town there is a vast field with tall grass, flowers, bushes and stuff like that. Forest continues in the distance. It becomes extremely windy and the wind changes direction constantly. It's sunny. I just enjoy the view for a moment. I recall all the goals I have: burning building, evil wizard, frozen planet, dream guide etc. But I want to focus on staying in the lucid dream as long as I can. I want to go with the flow, I won't force anything.

A biking trail appears in the field as I walk forward. Then two DCs bike backwards towards me. They look like the mountain guides in the Himalayas. I stop them and ask the one with a funny hat to guide me to the frozen planet. I ask his name, but the music and wind makes me unable to hear it. He starts walking somewhere and I follow. I expect to see a building and one appears on the edge of the field.

Inside the building is a break room and more DCs. Some of them look European. There's a stack of electronic devices on one cupboard. Some annoying noise is coming from them and the DCs don't like it. I just touch one radio and the noise disappears. I ask a new DC to guide me to the frozen planet. He agrees and starts leaving the room. I ask his name, but can't recall it anymore. (Goddamn it! Is it that hard to remember one name?!) The corridor outside the break room is dark. Wait, it's the dream fading...and I'm awake.

In the first scene that I can recall I'm staring at an artwork I made. It's from first person perspective, my perspective. It's way better than any of my drawings in waking life. In the artwork I'm flying in a vast cavern. The jagged cave floor looks like a copy of the cave ceiling. Looks like we are between two planets that are close together. The cavern is foggy and there are three monsters flying in front of me. They seem to be my friends, since they are flying in the same direction. Part of them is not visible due to the fog. They are green and insect-like. Like Cell from DBZ. I want to add more color to the cave and think about opening photoshop.

Suddenly I'm at the top of a staircase and the cave opens up in front of me. It's dark. I make a flashlight appear and shine it into the darkness. I see monsters. They run away from the light. Most of them do anyway. One of these humanoid beings comes towards me regardless. He looks like a baby that just learned to walk. I am slightly scared, so I raise my hand and try to make the baby disappear. I fail, but become lucid. The baby asks what I was trying to do. I try to make him disappear again, but nothing happens. I remember my goal, but not how I was planning to reach it. The baby keeps bugging me. I'm looking down at my clothes to keep my focus on the dream. I'm wearing a white and green ski jacket. More specifically, it looked like a white jacket with tiny green leaves in a neat pattern. I grab the left sleeve with my right hand to focus on how it feels.

I look up and the flashlight is still shining into the cave. A man with short black hair teleports into the light and stands 20 meters away from me. He is wearing a light brown flight jacket. We stare at each other and then he just walks away and teleports. I enter the cave and sit down. The baby is still right next to me. I start spinning and focus on the frozen planet. I visualize the ground turning into snow and the walls flying away from me as they are replaced with distant mountains and starry night sky. While I'm spinning, the baby asks if I'm taking him there as well. I finally answer him, saying pretty indifferently "I guess." All this spinning and visualizing does is take my focus away from the dream and I wake up.

Sigh...Well it's a lucid dream. It's progress.