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    false awakening

    False Awakening

    1. The Unlimited Mind: A love poem

      by , 02-09-2016 at 12:36 AM
      I'm trying out a new format for my dream journal. I noticed I was having more lucids when I consistently kept better track of awareness and real life details.

      I like a picture on fb by J.D. about having bought a house in Alaska. I think that’s so cool. I end up somehow visiting R.D. there and finding her in the bathroom. I tell her about how great it is and ask if she likes it. She says she liked New York better and Alaska has increased her BP. I tell her, “Isn’t that funny that cities lower your BP and the country increases it?” She agrees. They’re living with J.D's family. I hear an older man’s voice explaining the nature of true, genuine, love very eloquently and poetically. It’s in relation to my soul’s visit to R.D. I can only remember the general message: 'Hopefully by now they’ve realized that love is something that can be dismantled to overcome perceived obstacles and illusory barriers. True love can only present itself as the genuine and undying wish to help a person grow, which can only be done if one can look beyond the illusions and masks and stare deeply into their eyes and their soul.' I became aware that it was a dream voice. Though I was partially awake, the voice kept going. I was in awe that my mind could articulate this message so beautifully and naturally without any hesitation. It flowed so perfectly. D stirred and I immediately got up to write it down, trying to retain all the words I could. I had my hair wrapped in a towel and it was buzzing. I’m surprised my towel stayed on all night. I kept hearing music and kept trying to turn it off. I grabbed my writing dream journal and flipped to the last pages that were creased and were from my last vacation. A.W. had written under a few dreams, “Chloe, GLA somewhere else! We don't want you here!” Referring to a dream character. What’s GLA? She wrote more but I didn’t read it because I had read it before and knew what it said. I wanted to get to writing my dreams before I forgot the message. I checked my phone and had 16 new messages. Then I woke up for real.

      Going on vacation. Lani from Wilcox is there and I see she has NZ dollars. She’s staying on a different island than we did and said we need to stay away from each other if we’re both going to visit or else we might keep running into each other. I laughed. On the plane a little girl demands a hot dog. I take her to see her dad, the co-pilot. It requires me to move from first class perpendicular to coach. I have to crawl and she has to watch her head. I had forgotten how cramped coach is, it makes me claustrophobic. She visits her dad who is sitting in the front row and he refuses to buy her a hot dog. When we land the mother and sisters are furious. They want to punish him. They ride on jet ski’s to get people to form a line. At a harbor you can see huge sharks in a huge tank. They’re used to power the cruise ship. Some workers get in the water and I wonder if they’re afraid of the sharks. I get on the cruise ship and it starts going, crashing on really high waves. I think it’s fun. On the lifeboats some workers are hanging out. Some are gay and cuddling. I get selected to be a dancer for the ship’s show. I’m not sure what my role is so I wing it. I’m suspended out to the side of the boat and try not to touch the water so I don’t get attacked by sharks. A professional dancer is there, too, so I try to follow her moves. I can follow a little bit, but still get lost. On downtime she tries to teach me. I see fast forward from third person, my extensive multi-year training. My training sometimes stalls the cruise ship departures.

      I check on my cilantro and it’s ready to be cut, but the stems are buried by dirt and I can’t get to them.

      Supplements: 1000 Vit.C, 3 collagen, 3 L. Tryptophan, 1 iodine, 100 niacin, 1 DIM
      Mantras: NA
      ADA rating: 1
      Nightly Awakenings: X1 - barely remember it
      WBTB: NA
      HH: Buzzing before awakening. Loud cling sound while falling asleep
      Dream Type: RD - partially aware
      Total hours of sleep: 7:45
    2. The Void

      by , 12-26-2015 at 06:39 PM
      I had a lot of dreams last night. But most interestingly, I awoke within a black void that felt like a dream. Suddenly, with no memory of a prior dream, I became aware and could see nothing but black. I could hear the wind outside and my husband breathing but it sounded very loud as though it was inside my own head. I was confused about how that was happening. I was aware of my physical surroundings but the sensations were distinctly dream like. I tried to create my own dream and conjure up images but nothing was happening, I think because I was too fixated on trying to understand what was going on. Then I fell out of awareness.
      Tags: void
      false awakening , dream fragment , lucid
    3. Stalker

      by , 12-18-2015 at 06:19 PM
      I’m in New Zealand mountain biking by myself. I’m catching tons of air and biking on very narrow and uneven passages but I’m not scared at all. Something happens that keeps me for a long time and when I go to return the bikes it’s night time and the gates are closed. I don't know what I’m going to do. Then I realized that the blue gate is motion sensored, so i get in. The workers take my bike and I get ushered to the front of the line.

      I’m playing a game with a group of people. We are listening to a recording and watching a screen of random images and we have to come up with a good catchphrase in under 1.5 minutes. My recorder isn’t working at first. I see an aerial view of the flight paths to and from New Zealand and think of saying something about a plane but I don’t know enough about them. There is an underwater mountain range to the north east of NZ and an island called New Delhi.. Then I see an image of a woman in the ocean and one her breasts is sticking out of the water. I decide on “Tits: Because everything in the ocean is naked anyway” and I think it is so hilarious. All of a sudden I’m in the ocean swimming with B&A. There’s a koi fish following me and I try to bop it away because it grosses me out. A looks scared and tells me to swim fast. I assume it’s a shark and know that I’m not fast enough to out-swim a shark. I swim toward the boat and am amazed how fast I am. Turns out it was a massive group of koi fish chasing us. I wake up within another dream and tell my husband about my hilarious catchphrase.

      I see a series of small children doing a funny hobbit dance in hobbit style clothes. It is so cute. I find out that they belong to attractive, young, trendy lesbians. All of them adopted except for one girl who claims to be the only one with both of her mothers’ genes. I’m not sure how that’s possible. Perhaps a three way mixture of both eggs and the donor sperm. I’m in the dining room and one of the lesbians who looks a bit asian american is painting henna free-hand on the wall. She tells me I need to unleash the intense creative power within me.
      I’m renting out a duplex with my older sister. There’s a couple that live next door, but our places are also connected from the inside. Sometimes we use their bathroom. Once the man knocked on our door, asking to hang out. My sister is uncomfortable but I feel like we owe him so I allow him in. I go to sleep at some point and wake up in the middle of the night with him next to me. He’s pinning me down. He tries to tickle me a little bit. I scream at him but can't make any sound. I weakly realize it's because I'm dreaming. I try to get away. I finally break free and he follows me. I get my sister and tell that we need to leave now. She’s paralyzed with fear so I carry her out to the side of the road that looks like my parent’s street. There are a lot of white cars and I don’t know which one is ours. I unlock one and he gets in the driver seat and drives away, thinking I’m in there with him. I unlock my mom’s van and we frantically get inside and peel out. We’re taking an alternate route to my mom’s work. When I get to her work I write what happened with a quill and ink on a belt and in a black and white fashion magazine. Then I go to work, which happens to be a high end fashion show. He’s there and part of the show. Everyone loves him and thinks he’s so sweet and innocent. It makes me sick. My husband is there. After the show he goes to work an Asian breakfast restaurant and ignores us when my husband gently confronts him. I go home. I turn on the light in my bedroom and he’s laying in my bed with sunglasses. This is the second time he’s done that. “I told you you have to stop doing that!” I yell at him. At this point I decide that my best strategy is manipulating him, since resisting hasn’t worked. I get in bed and ask him why he’s doing this. We have an argument about dolphin swimming and water depth. He tries to impress me by showing me the millions of “stickies” he has under the covers for his cell phone. We go together to a different room that looks like my mom’s room. We’re playing baseball with a bunch of older kids in there. He’s the coach. Everything is disorganized. I bide my time and then after a while, say I have to go to the bathroom. I grab my phone that I left the previous night and I go into my bedroom. I contemplate that it’s a lot like Becky’s old bedroom. I try and think of a solution to my predicament. I think of asking people on dream views how to get rid of a stalker. But I realize it would be a dream stalker, following me and assaulting me in all of my dreams.

      Updated 12-18-2015 at 07:46 PM by 70665 (Remembered more)

      Tags: semi-lucid
      non-lucid , nightmare , false awakening