The Dream Journal

I'm entering a large parking lot area. I'm in a convertible with a friend. I notice we're in Los Santos when he yells out "We're in Los Santos, baby!" A prostitute comes up and my friend ask her where to buy drugs. She takes us to a little boy who is selling pills. Is he selling his ADHD medication? The prostitute takes the pills and the kid whispers something to her. The little boy turns into a little girl and the prostitute says the little girl is turning tricks to sell the pills. The prostitute says the girl has an infected vagina. The girl shows it to us and it is indeed red and infected-looking.

I'm in a house owned by a young couple at night. They are people I know from work. They ask if I'm getting wasted on a Friday and I say I'm not. They are drinking beer and invite me to join but I want to keep our relationship professional.

Don't remember much from last night.

In a large grocery store?

Sitting in my school hallway with a computer. Pornography flashes on it, has anyone noticed? I try to go to reddit.com to cover it up but naked pictures still flash. It's like the computer is now "filthy" and always on the verge of flashing something obscene.

I see a hand-drawn hallway. It's from a angle and has a style that reminds me of Fallout 2. There is a door to the right on the wall of the hallway drawing. Going inside it launches a dialog with a small mustached guy, 3D graphic like Fallout 2, who says some stuff. This is one of three locations that need to be accessed for the mission.

I'm in a suburban area near my place, it's dusk and the summer. I'm lost and don't know where I am. I make it to the edge of a sports field. I'm balancing on large wooden planks, like bleachers or a workout stand. I jump to a table across from me, it's a massive pounce that surprises me. I make it to the wooden table. Jumping off of the wooden table I feel my left hip is stuck, I try to work it with my hands, did I hurt myself? I try to move it and it feels more and more uncomfortable. When I start to feel panic I wake up and see my hip was in a weird position.

I enter a place that looks like a small daycare center by a play park. It's a mental institution and there are some people with clear problems there. I walk around and bump into a young student adviser from school. She says that I'm going to be institutionalized for a week. She says she'll pay for it with her insurance and this makes me feel grateful but this surprises me anyway and I'm a little upset. Why? She says I should know that this is for my own good and I know in my heart why I should be observed for a week. I shrug and agree with her. It does make sense. (Did I have a tearful breakdown before?) As I get hunched in a corner of a room and get comfortable my mom comes in. Is she being institutionalized as well? I talk to her and it seems that she is visiting me. The young student adviser teases me, is my mommy visiting me in the mental hospital? I feel a bit embarrassed but the sting goes away fast, she was just teasing in a friendly way. I get out after only a day (?) and leave. I'm in the center of a small town, walking around a large building in early afternoon sunlight.

In my dream, I try to remember my dreams during the night (!) and draw a little man holding something. The thing is important.

I'm learning how to use a new computerized milling machine that works with DOS. There is a lot of different icons to look at. I try to think of something nice to make and a teacher says that I should make a blade for a turning machine. This confuses me but I like the challenge. I work and mill a long piece of square metal with another guy. In the hallway outside, it is a grey day outside. The walls are white and square. I talk to an older guy. We are going to infiltrate a cult. I say I'd be good at it, I've seen a lot of spiritual circles and know how they work. I talk quite a bit and worry I'm annoying the guy. I go to a desk that has two bowls of fruit. I take an apple and start eating it as I wait for the guy. He appears and sounds angry. Was I allowed to take an apple? He then says people are allowed to take fruit, just take the ones on the bottom first since they are older. I feel relief.

I'm in a bank, dark outside the windows, small lamps on the wooden teller desks. There is only myself and one teller. She is a young, attractive blonde woman in very nice business clothes. I don't think she is a teller at all, someone a little higher in management. I ask what my balance is on my account and she says 6000€. I'm totally amazed, how did I get so much? After she says that she begins to flirt with me. Is it only because of the money I have that she is showing this interest? Despite thinking this, I feel good that she is showing interest in me. She puts her arms around my neck and begins to stroke the back of my neck.

I'm in the middle of the city and night. It might just be the evening though, it is dark. Orange street lights illuminate the old roads and tall buildings on either side. I see a friend of mine and she says she has hooked up her electricity to an older system and if I could add something to it. I look at it, it looks like wires everywhere. I try to adjust one and the light begin to flicker. I push the wire a little more until the power comes back. The whole system is really sensitive. She says her boyfriend is getting them a new cable card so they can hook up the electricity better.

I go to a old-timey bakery. There are lots of cakes on sale in the sale windows under the counter. I see they are selling the last ones of the day. I say I'll take them all. Back at my friends place, I see my sister and some other friends. I tell them that everyone can have cake, I feel good that I'm able to offer everyone cake. Everyone smiles and is ready for a piece.

I go and pick up the cakes. Back at the bakery I tell them I bought them and I'm going to pick them up. They say they don't have them anymore. I'm surprised, how is this possible? They say I shouldn't have just left the cakes here. I angrily take out a receipt and say that I arranged to pick them up later. They apologize and give me the cakes and the loafs of bread I reserved. The loaves look like large rocks, I see they have baked dried tomatoes and olives into them.

I'm back in the gas station doing a night shift. It's toward the end, the morning has come but it is still pitch black outside. I've been talking to the other employee all night and I feel guilty that I didn't do everything I was supposed to do. It's been a while. As I start to do my neglected jobs I see David Duchovny. I'm shocked. I can't believe it! Why is he here? I run to the other counter and say I have to take a break, ijust have to. I go downstairs into the locker room and pull a piece of thin cardboard. I need his autograph. I run upstairs and I see he has entered with Gillain Anderson and another man. I'm starstruck, I can barely blurt out "I love the X-files can I have your autograph?". Duchovny says he doesn't always want to be remembered as Mulder. I feel bad about it but I want to tell him what kind of massive effect the show had on me and how important it was and is still. I see a large line forming and I have to go take care of the line and I ask him if he and Gillian Anderson can sign my little ripped up piece of cardboard.

I go to the cash register. There is a large line and people are being rude, looking at me meanly. Some people are cutting in line and this aggravates me.

I am at a friend's party, lots of successful and fancy, hipstery people are there in her large, wooden house, we are in the attic room, it is wooden and shadowy. I don' really have much in common with all the jocks and women dressed in very nice clothes. I ask if I can have some of my friends come over as well, they are geekier but I'd have someone to talk to. I vouch for them and she lets them come. I also see my sister there and I feel a bit more relaxed.

I'm talking to one of my geeky friends. He mentions how mean and horrible the people in the party have been to him over the years. Although everyone is an adult now, the direct harassment has now turned into a cold condescension, I feel for my friend. A big event is about to happen, people get into a circle as some kind of speech is going to be given. Right as one of the mean, good looking and condescending jocks is going to speak my geeky friend tackles him to the floor and pandemonium breaks out, people are all over the place tearing things apart.

My hipstery friend who knows the host says this is horrible, really bad, the jock was being interviewed on live TV, now it is ruined, there is no way to fix this. He doesn't right out blame me for vouching for him, but I sense the tension. Secretly I don't feel bad at all for what happened. The jock got what was coming to him. This is karma.

A new scene, we are in a school gym hall, a new party, the lights are very dim and atmospheric. My hipstery friend's girlfriend comes up to me by a table, I ask what's up. She says things are well. My hipstery friend is collecting money for the damages that happened in the party before, the house was wrecked. I feel a pang of guilt and panic. Why did I even go to that stupid party in the first place? I wake up relieved.

Vague dreams throughout the night, no recall.

In the last dream I was in a car going through an old city like Stockholm in the back seat. To mmy left I see my friend who I met by chance yesterday on the bus. We talk a little bit. As if (our?) parents are in the front driving the car. I hear yelling, a girl cries out for help. My sister (who is a completely different person and looks totally different) is not in the car. The parents swerve around and try to find out where the yelling is coming from. I get out of the car and start running, as if I can make it faster on foot.

I hear her as the car passes me, I can begin pinpointing the sound. I find her in a bus, men in uniforms sit as she yells, apathetic, they look like law enforcement. As the bus tries to pull away from the curb I stand in front of it and start tearing away the mirrors and wipers, trying to start a confrontation.

I turn around and see a committee, men in suits and women dressed very professionally. I demand to speak with my sister, I ask what she she being charged with. They are stonewalled and silent. This infuriates me. I have to stay in front of the bus so it doesn't start driving off. In my desperation I begin to try to intimidate all of them, I stare into their eyes intentionally, saying I will go after their children, after them, if they don't let me talk to my sister and ask how she is doing. Just let me talk to her so she can tell me what she is being accused of. Silence is my answer.

I drop to my knees defeated and lyrics pass through my head, I see them stream before me. Life in black America.

I'm in a place like a giant Chuck-e-Cheese's, there are multiple floors of cushioned walls and nets. I am walking around and meet a dreadlocked guy I know from school. I show him a green, poorly done, tattoo on my wrist that identifies me as part of the same ninja secret society he is a part of. We climb up to a higher floor where we look down and look out for trouble, some group is doing shady stuff in the park, we have to keep an eye out.

Vaguely remember playing with a small arcade cabinet.

Go to a kiosk nearby my house to load my bus card, hear a guy welding to repair a magazine stand. The welding pistol is a screwdriver. I go up and ask if he needs help.

I'm in a junkyard, it's small and has a few shipping containers, some junk around. The ground is moist and muddy. I walk through it and see the edge of the small woods to the end of it, sun trickles through the branches and I see a new round being built. A teacher of mine comes around, says hi and wonders what I'm doing here. (Was I looking for him, hoping to bump into him?) I lie and say I was just passing through, as not to creep him out.

I see in the junk to my right a bunch of old X-Files DVD boxes and other merchandise, at least seasons 3 and 4, the best ones. I collect them up, what a find! I see clips of the upcoming season in my mind, I see agent Reyes. it's as if watching these is preparation for the new season. I see what look like promo clips. I try to find a website or a place to see the whole plot of the X-files game as well, haven't played the one for PS2.

Grandparent's old house, I look into the cupboard by the door, see the X-files things there with the Christmas decorations, there is a finality to it, as if seeing it for the last time.

I'm in the parking lot of my grandparent's old house, there is some kind of event, lots of people there and a stage. On stage there is a family, a husband and wife with two children performing. The husband is hitting his leg with a small drum stick with a fluffy head to make a beat, I follow suit.

I look at the lawn, it's a summer day, and I see beyond the trees a giant woman, young, in her mid twenties in a red sweater. Her movements are like those of a hot air balloon, kind of has that appearance, otherworldy. Her giant boyfriend comes and hugs her and they lumber off walking over me as I look up.

I pass some playing kids and begin to run into the dark forest on all fours, at first I think it's weird but it works really well, feels natural. I go amazingly fast.

In a room, the light overhead is orangey and overbearing. It's like a children's room. I'm trapped in it with a man and a woman who are also prisoner. I wait for our captor to return. I lose all hope and somehow it gives me strength. Resolving that I will risk dying to escape, I prepare to rush my captor, in my mind I whisper "I am now free".

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I'm in an unfamiliar bedroom. I begin playing a red-tinted Mario game, like a Virtual Boy game. Mario is riding a donkey and has to dodge pills and geometric shapes as he move to the left. He gets hit and the donkey runs off like Yoshi in the Super Mario World games. I get really into the game and "become" Mario. I dodge the now 3D and in full color geometric objects and pills with great finesse. I've become really good at the game.

By the beginning of a forested path at night near my old school. I try to send a text message to an old school friend of mine but the message gets turned into a reflective road sign next to the path, the smiley I used in it looks weird on a road sign.

I turn around and try to contact my friend on Facebook with a laptop, he doesn't respond but his wife does. I begin to see an image of a person drinking Hendricks gin on a grainy video feed. The club is lit with blue light and the guy throws the bottle away and turns around, walking clumsily toward the exit. He's wearing a bear skin and has long hair and a big beard, feral looking.

See my sister and she offers me a Gin and Tonic with cucumbers in it. Don't really want to drink but I take a sip with gratitude, I don't want to offend her.

I'm in an apartment that looks like Dexter's from the series Deter. Sunlight through the window. I look into the fridge for food, so much stuff in it but not much that interests me.

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A vague memory of being at my friends house, the TV is on really loud. Another friend says we should turn in down before the neighbors complain. I agree and we turn down the volume. Another friend enters, I ask him what's up.

I'm walking in a deep hilly wooded area on a grey day. There is a lake to my left. There are large lumps of tree roots on the surface of the ground and I trip over them. I make my way to a house, it looks modern and is very solitary, no other house in sight, as if it was right in the middle of a little depression in the ground. Looks like a safe place.

I go inside and it is fairly dim inside as only a bluish grey light comes through the shaded windows. It give the whole house a mystical and serene feeling, hard to explain. A lamp is in the corner, it looks very fancy and modern in design gives a little more of a golden lighting deeper in the house. There is something oddly satisfying being here, safe, serene, a mindset like something remembered in childhood.

I'm in my grandparent's old place. In the kitchen, all the lights are on, I see a mosaic decorative plate on the wall. It's like all the other decorative things they have on the wall. There are three tiles on it that stand out, the rest have fallen away. They look a bit like hexagons, one has a large "C" on it, meaning a complex number. One tile is touching it on its left, the other tile is one space away from the "C" tile on the right, not touching it. I look at it and it is supposed to show a mathematical number sequence that has something to do with complex numbers. I try to think what it could mean, I think the terms of the series can tessellate the whole plate. I hear in my mind "only a fool adds them together...".

In the bathroom, out the window I see one of my friends and his friend have arrived by car. What are they doing all the way up here?

I have to give a presentation of a subject of my choice. I use my sister's computer to look for some information of Kendrick Lamar, I type his name into Google. I can't find enough information, at least not enough for me to want to confidently present anything.

It's dark outside, I'm standing by the large show window of a bookstore, there is a golden orange light coming from it, fancy, brown wooden shelves have books on them. I think of doing my presentation of Satanism and the occult, I begin to notice books with those words on the spines on the shelves. Is it too edgey?

I wake up through the night, feeling sick and disorientated.

Only recall some pretty vague dreams as I punched my alarm clock into snooze mode...

I see Bart, Milhouse and Nelson from The Simpsons in a metro tunnel. They all have super powers. Bart starts showing his stretching ability until he is electrocuted by Milhouse's electric ability that is then absorbed by Nelson's super strength.

Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury is playing bad cop as he interrogates a prisoner in a children's clothes department. I see mittens meant for children, colorful, with words like "dying", "cancer" and "paralyzed" knitted across them. Pretty morbid.

Nick Fury and his partner are outside an American suburban house. They throw Jeffery Dahmer in the trunk of the car, they finished interrogating him. I don't want to sit in the back seat in case he starts stabbing me through the cushion. I go to the front seat thinking Fury's partner is going to sit in my lap (or I'd be sitting in his) but to my surprise the seat is not taken.

I have a false awakening, I get up and I'm walking in my old childhood home. Where is everyone? Did I sleep past my alarm and miss school? I'm pretty upset. I try to make out what time it is by looking out at the grey sky outside.

I wake up in my real bed, but my body is very heavy, can barely swing around and get my feet on the ground. My body suddenly collapses into itself, I'm back in bed again. I try and try, never getting further than my feet onto the floor. How can this be so hard? I then wake up for real.

A very vague dream of walking in a park like area on a grey day, I cross roads and each time I do a line of poetry comes to mind. How they went exactly escapes me but they went something along the lines of "my mind wanders over crossroads", "it looks for a place to hide", "all my friends are crazy or dead".

I'm in the back yard of a house, it's a summer night, I think it is midsummer's eve. The sky is a slight purple, very gentle. There are some tables, chairs, made out of wood. I see that is held by a couple but I'm not sure of the pronouns I'm supposed to use with them, I don't want to offend them or make them feel uncomfortable. I try to find ways to not have to drink during the party, trying to talk a lot.

I take a train and make it to a train station. There are a lot of inspectors, good thing I have a ticket. It is now the toward the evening of a winter day, the sun is about to set, getting darker. There is a lot of people around, there must be some kind of celebration, like Mayday. I walk around trying to avoid all the drunken people. I go up the escalator into the station. I pass an old couple, man and a woman. The woman falls over, as if having an episode. As she hits the ground she turns into a postcard on the ground. I'm alarmed and go up to the card, the man has disappeared. I try to call the emergency services. The voice on the line tells me that because of the festivities they are unable to send anyone but there should be police at the station to get assistance from. Before she hangs up she asks if I am foreign and I try to keep it light and laugh saying I am. She says she just wanted to know.

I pick up the grandma/postcard gently into my hand and try to find a police officer. I see a female officer but as I try to get to her I lose her in the crowd. I walk and walk trying to find anyone, how can they all have just disappeared? I end up having to walk almost to the center of the city until I find a group of officers talking to a group of teens. I try to explain the situation, the postcard/grandma in hand. The officer looks apprehensive. a teen comes up and messes with with, calling me all sorts of names. I try to stay strong and stare him down.

I walk down into the metro tunnels. I'm on the second floor, I can see the large square down below. Beyond a railing I see stairs that look like they are going down. I go up to them and see that the stairs end in a sheer drop to the ground, I start to get a sense of vertigo. I see a guy sitting on the stairs casually, why isn't he scared? Children, little ones, come over the railing to play on the stairs. I'm really concerned, what if they fall off? I don't know what to do, I try to tell them to be careful and to shoo them to the safety beyond the rail but I don't want to shoo them too much in case they fall down. They play and slowly move toward the railing. I try to make it very slowly to the platform. I see a guy who is hanging out on the stairs. He speaks in an American accent and says he's in the Marines. I try to be really friendly and talk to him with ease.

I get over the railing and onto the second floor platform. As we walk I see a really small guy, like a little over a foot tall. He's Wayne Knight, the actor. I have to stop and say "hi" to him. As the Marine and I walk away I say that it must be weird for celebrities, people know them but they don't know who anyone is.

I walk down with the Marine until we reach a hallway that looks like it belongs to an old building, grey light comes from the windows to the right. I see a really tall guy, like Big Show the wrestler but he is really skinny and has long blonde hair. I say "hi" to him as well and tell him we're going to my friend's place. He knows my friend and wants to walk with us. We walk about a minute and we are in the hallway of my friend's apartment. I'm amazed, I thought the trip by foot would take an hour and we did it all in a hallway! We go up the stairs and skinny Big Show wants to come along, hope my friend doesn't mind, it's pretty early in the morning.

We go to my friend's place. It is small, like a cabin of a cruise ship, no windows. It feels like there is a party going on, some people are also in the cabin. I see an ad for a Pepsi rave in a club, apparently it's a big deal and a lot of fun. I recall going to one years ago, didn't think it was too special. Must have gotten bigger with time.

We go up stairs to the roof. It's dark and marvelous, the lights of the city light up the sky gently, there is some kind of magic in the air that I sometimes feel during Friday night. We go back inside and as we go into the fall and through a door to the stairs a woman comes up and loudly complains that we can't drink in the corridor. She hands me a little Chick tract kind of comic outlining this point. I snap back saying that we are not. I ask why she has such a rotten attitude? She should calm down, jees. We go back into the cabin/apartment and I tell the others of how nasty the woman was.

During a nap, I talk to my sister, who is being unusually friendly to me at our old childhood place. She mentions she was pregnant at some point, and it confuses me, but it feels good that she shared that with me.

I'm clearing snow on a dark road, light of a car come by, I have to hide, or at least pretend to be 18. (?) I need to keep clearing snow, it's the only way out of here.

I see a mage and a shaman from Hearthstone fighting 5 evil statues, they are hooded and in a ring. As one is defeated a gentle light goes out in its hood. As we defeat three of them, they surrender, but as the mage approached them there is a trick attack and it almost drops us to zero health. The mage calls forth a bright light that comes out of a mirror like portal that banishes the statutes for good. I hear a voice, authoritative, that says that the portal can be used to visit other worlds.

I touch the mirror and suddenly the scenery shifts and I'm by a family altar in a fancy house. I see fancy looking things that look like they belong to my grandma. I step away, is this an alternate reality where my family was rich?

I suddenly go lucid. I look around, amazed at the detail. I yell out "more vivid!" and the house becomes more stable and detailed. I walk around looking around, wondering what to do. I see a little girl and I follow her, just wondering where the dream will lead. I follow her for a while and see my sister. Knowing I'm in a dream, I float up in the air to impress her. She asks me how I did it and I sat "magic".

I go up the stairs, the place is now my friend's parent's old place. I go up to his room, thinking it is empty. My friend is there, sleeping. I try to get him to vanish but it doesn't work. I walk down the stairs and look out the window.

I go on the ledge and decide to fly. David Lynch comes to mind for some reason. I begin to fly, admiring the absolutely beautiful summer day, sun up high and a few trees looking so beautiful and green. I try to fly around, hard to control. I grab a branch as I go down, I sink and sink and the branch bounces back up and sends me into the air. I think of flying to my other friend's place close by. I fly and I'm suddenly by the parking lot of a gas station, a taco truck comes by and sells tacos. I am a but hungry. I wake up.

I'm driving a down a road, there is forest on either side, a grey day. I see a man on the right with his dog. He's stopped but I'm afraid that the dog might just jump in front of the car. It doesn't and I drive by. A see another man stopped by the shoulder of the road with his motorcycle, I see a lake he's looking towards. He's smoking a cigarette and the smoke get in the cabin of the truck as a drive, smells irritating.

Suddenly I see that the asphalt is new, there is road construction. Cars are coming right at me, another truck comes right at me on my side of the lane. I narrowly miss it, but with all the traffic coming at me, I'm afraid that this is a one-way road. I drive all the way to the side of the road in a panic. I go down a small side track, it leads to a downhill path. The truck dives down into the ground, burrowing into the earth. As I go down I see I'm in a fallout shelter, but looking back I see the light of the outside world getting dimmer and dimmer. I try to turn back but can't, the walls of the tunnel will cave in. I'm safe now in the shelter but trapped, like being buried alive.