lucid

7.30-9.15am
Medium LD #399
I am at a LAN party. Someone pulls my screen around and starts asking why I'm searching for darkus something. The page looks like an guild site for an online game. Everyone in the guild has dog avatars. Under the browser window is what looks like World of Warcraft (haven't played in 5 years).

Hitting the space bar brings up a search box, but I hide it and start moving through the world using the keyboard to control it. At some point the dream drags me into the game so I am playing in first person rather than controlling a character.

The game is taking place in a Hogwarts style castle filled with students. AB is with me. Although the whole place still has a sort of Warcraft vibe, the students are human. Maybe this is Stormwind. We head up a circular set of steps in a tower, heading to the top. There are students on the stairs having a lesson.

The steps end in a blank wall. Wait, no, there is a narrow staircase leading up to a hatch in the roof. At the top is a partially obscured sign that says slip, or is it sleep? This makes me lucid.

We run up the staircase and emerge onto the top of the tower. The dream still is formed of very basic almost cartoon style graphics. This is a dream, I tell AB, and start floating around trying to encourage AB to join me in flight. AB then makes a joke about rocket fuel and farts. This makes me laugh.

"You're so immature..." And then I think, wait, this is my dream, which means it's me being immature. Ah nuts.

I make AB float and try to encourage her to fly higher but she doesn't want to.

The tower is perched on the edge of a canyon made from red stone. Possibly some mix of the Grand Canyon mixed with Thousand Needles, from Warcraft, which is still the basis for this dreamscape. Standing at the edge looking down over a 200+ ft drop gives me a twinge of vertigo, and that inexplicable desire to jump...

Only one thing for it... I throw myself off the edge and start to plummet, feeling the wind rushing past me. Before hitting the ground I throw my arms out as wings. The air catches the feathered wings and allows me to glide on the thermals. :wings:

At the bottom of the canyon are a few cartoon sheep. I point at one and transform it into a goat. It turns black and kind of demonic-goat looking with horns and hoofs. Before being able to transform it into a Chimera for the TOTY, it lets out a demonic roar and runs off. Hmm so much for that plan.

I start to walk through the canyon and see a large crowd of people walking in another direction. Thinking that maybe I could combine my goal of turning a DC into an animal to kick start another TOTY attempt, I pick a red haired woman out of the group and lead her to one side.

"Okay, weird request. I need to turn you into a Chimera, which will be awesome fun, but first I have to turn you into a goat..."

The woman gives me a look like, you're insane, but whatever... Before I can do anything else though, the scene fades and despite clinging on for a false awakening, I wake up.

7.20-7.45am
We are in the garage. There is an old mattress on the floor. It is covered in small patches of ice and snow. I make a snowball and throw it at the wall.

My partner AB is here. We discuss her uncle apparently touching up one of AB's younger cousins. (Not true IRL, AFAIK) It is clear AB is very angry and upset about this. We discuss confronting him, but AB seems to have very violent plans, which concern me. Although the knowledge of what he's done sickens me too, I want to protect her from doing anything that would land us in trouble with the law.

The dream changes and has me exploring a bookshop. The lights flicker and go out, but then the power comes back on. After some searching I find the section with sci-fi and fantasy books. There is a book called 'The Cery Spar'. 'Cery' apparently means red. Maybe it was supposed to be 'Cherry'? It has a red dragon on the front.

Chained into
Short LD #398 "Follow Me" WILD
An image of a white ceiling forms. Knowing my eyes are shut, I try to control the excitement rush of an impending WILD (I don't often manage WILD).

Feeling vibrations I wait and allow the dream to form. The I rub my hands to stabilise. A black guy walks in, smiling. He asks me about my holiday in China. It seems I have earplugs in as the sound is distant and muted. So I mime pulling out earplugs to try and correct this.

The guy wanders out of the room, talking about how China is basically like Bulgaria. Heh sure.

The room leads out onto a large balcony on which a friend of mine is sitting having a smoke. He is looking out at the view, so I slap him on the back/shoulder in greeting and say hi before climbing over the balcony and starting to fly.

Below are rows of tables filled with DCs. Some kind of party is going on. This reminds me that mind control was a technique I struggled with last time.

Spotting a pretty blonde girl at one of the tables I land nearby and use telepathy to send her a mental command, asking her to come over. She stands and starts walking towards me but then starts moving a little further away. She glances back at me, then walks a few more steps. She seems to want me to follow. Who is controlling who?

Despite my attempts at mind control it seems she wishes to lead me away from the others. There is now a path leading off into a forest. I give up and decide to just follow along, but wake up after a few steps into the trees.

6.55-7.30am
Long LD #397
I was walking down a hill. A couple of dcs walk past. The scenery is amazing. Green trees and mountains on the horizon. Grassland stretching off towards them. It occurs to me this might be a dream so i start taking big steps testing gravity. Sure enough this leads to a floating jumping walk and then true flight.

Time to get going on the new three step tasks. Using a summoned knife (from my belt) to cut into the 'fabric' of the dreamscape, I create a portal/doorway then step through it to another place.

Possibly this new place is a hotel or on second thought a shopping centre. It is filled with dcs wandering around. On the current level are a couple of shops. The next step is unsummoning, something I've not really played with before. So I point at a nearby DC and say "you dont exist". The DC obediently vanishes without any fanfare or explosions... That was easier than expected.

Right. Time control. Next to the shops is a cafe with some DCs sitting and eating at a table. I pause time for a couple of them so they are mid drink or mid bite of food. Then I see an old man walking across the room and hit rewind for him. He starts retracing his steps perfectly, expression still neutral and uncomplaining.

While trying to think what to do next I fly out of the building. Ah yes the week challenge task of turning into a gas. A couple of DCs start talking to me about the weather being so nice. On the other side of the park though a tornado is heading for us. I dive towards it, believing it will rip me apart into tiny gas molecules.

Hitting the tornado makes my conciousness shatter for a moment and wonder if this will destroy the scene. It doesnt. Instead I feel myself floating. Extending my awareness I can sense through hundreds of floating gas particles. My body no longer has a solid form and feels weightless. Each individual part of me is floating and moving independently. It is a weird feeling.

Seeing the tornado whipping back around I remain in its path, wondering how it will affect me now I'm a cloud of gas. It is how I imagine this is what being in a blender feels like... Different parts of me spin in all directions at once, like a violent theme park ride.

After a bit of struggling and focusing, trying to knit the feeling of separation back into a single whole, my body eventually reforms. I start walking through the park. There are go-karts and motorbikes lining up as if for races around a dirt track. I figure it makes sense to focus on other goals... what are they? Oh yeah make something out of dirt and bring it to life was one...

So I move off the track to where there is bare earth and fallen leaves. Scraping the dirt together into a pile I start to shape it into a motorbike. A tiny one. With a figure sitting on it. Cupping it in my hands I take a deep breath in then slowly breathe life out into it. After several breaths the tiny figure starts moving. Putting it down the small bike starts racing around in circles. This has drawn the attention of several DCs who seem fascinated by it.

Wandering off I try to think of other dream powers to use. The park turns into an indoor building filled with more DCs. Among them is a coworker, looking stressed. I tap her on the shoulder. "You work too hard. There is no point in working here, this is a dream. You can relax." (I don't remember her response but she did smile.) I slip my arms around her waist, my mind turning to inappropriate thoughts, but then her husband shows up. Having no desire to fight or see this particular DC unhappy, I leave them to relax and enjoy the dream.

My thoughts of conflict bring a bit of danger to the dream. While walking through this busy building two thugs start following me. The place looks more like a hospital now. Maybe a sanatorium. I turn the corner and find a dead end room with a kinda spooky looking bed with white sheets. The two thugs are blocking the exit. They both pull out straight razors with sharp glinting blades.

They attack and try to cut me. I repeatedly tell them they can't hurt me. The razors leave no injuries or blood on my skin. One of the thugs grabs my finger and tries to shut the razor on it. Nope that doesn't work. Losing patience I start punching them before grabbing one of their razors and trying to slice them up. They turn and flee.

Now feeling, well, invincible I stroll out of the hospital/sanatorium place looking for more fun. I mentally recap what I've done so far, as this has been a long dream. It still seems stable, and I'm not quite ready to wake up yet.

Outside in a market place there are many small stalls of trinkets and wares. One of the stall owners is a pretty red haired woman. Recalling the mind control task I try to send her a mental command to kiss me. It doesn't seem to have any effect. Need to work on that one.

While that DC wanders off a totally different one walks up to me in a small alley between two rows of stalls. This one seems happy to engage in a little adult fun. At the same time I mess around with a little object/dc changing dream control, reshaping and resizing parts of her body. At the weirdest point, she has four eyes in a line on her face. This doesn't seem to distract or dissuade her and it escalates into sex.

At some point this dissolves into a false awakening.

In the final part I find myself still lucid, walking in a park filled with water fountains and lakes. The park is full of small monkeys and birds. One of the monkeys leaps onto my shoulder.

7.33-7.43am (Yeah 10 mins exactly. That's all I need to get lucid! )
Short LD #396
The computer monitor is an ancient beige cathode-ray-tube monster with terrible resolution. It makes me question whether this is a dream. My hands look perfectly normal though. On the screen is something about a goddess. It looks like proxima midnight, a character from a mobile game.

Closing the computer, I hurry out of the room and down the staircase. The front door is like the one in my parents house, a mix of patterned distorted glass and wood. I phase directly through it without really thinking. Definitely a dream.

The sky is cloudy and it is raining. I feel the rain on my skin. Gentle, warm, spring rain. The rain droplets fall on my bare arms and chest. It is pleasant, calming. For a short time I just enjoy the sensation, practising a moment of mindful meditation.

Recalling my new 3 step I attempt to teleport to a place in China. The attempt fails and dumps me into the void before a false awakening.

Sitting up in a yellow room I find a pair of spiderman pants. I stare at my hands and find they are perfectly normal again. To be sure I try the pinched nose check and it is inconclusive. Maybe my nose is blocked by a cold. While thinking about this I wake for real.

7-8.30am
Short LD #395
The first part of the dream I can recall starts in a car, but then the road takes a right and turns into a set of steps. The car vanishes. Punisher (Jon Bernthal) is standing at the bottom. He looks like he has been awake all night, exhausted, beaten up.

Punisher starts telling us about digging holes, and searching for something. I follow his lead.

At some point we end up in the road and I'm now on a motorbike. This makes me lucid because the acceleration is wrong; opening the throttle seems to do nothing. I try to get past a massive lorry and something clips my leg but I ignore it.

Now that the bike is properly under my control the speed is much improved. I try to go as fast as possible. The road also switches from driving on the right to driving on the left, as that's more familiar to me being British.

In order to get some points I need to find some way to do a stunt, but there are no ramps or anything to use as one. The hill is steep and filled with cars to dodge. At the top of the hill there is a tall building and I lift the motorbike into a wheelie while approaching the wall. It starts to travel vertically up. The dream fades before I reach the top.

6.30-7.30am
Medium LD #394
Next to the bed are two small white alarm clocks showing different times. I find my phone to try and work out what time it is. A stream of texts appear. Each text message is a comic book panel though and seems to be a story. This makes me question everything and I do an RC to confirm the dream.

I try to get out of the window and end up in a white void. Pushing onwards leads to a small park with a cyclist and two people in giant panda suits. Er. The dreamscene is unstable and fades.

False awakening. I am able to hold my awareness as the previous scene fades so instantly do another RC and find myself still dreaming. The window of the room is blocked with slats of wood. There is a door, the only other possible exit, but that way is blocked with hundreds of folded clothes. The more clothes I pull down the more appear. This dream is being uncooperative.

Getting angry I decide to punch my way out and do a partial transformation to enlarge my fist and arm, then use super strength to bust open the planks of wood covering the window.

Once outside I quickly summon Hukif, Sensei and Dolphin. They do not appear as expected. Or maybe I don't know what to expect... Dolphin looks kind of vaguely like Thor from the marvel comic books. Six foot four roughly and long blonde hair but wearing a stripy t-shirt. Hukif's avatar is more average height, as is Sensei. They both have strange hair which moves independently, as though alive.

Right let's sort this out properly. I transform dolphin and Sensei into Superman outfits of blue with red capes. Then I turn Hukif into Batman, purely by pointing at each of them and telling them who to become. Hukif's armor looks really cool but it is more like Daredevil's armor from the new TV series: Black and grey with bat ears instead of devil horns. Close enough.

Before the battle can start there is one more thing. I need to transform as well! HULKBUSTER! Throwing my arms down to my sides I feel the metal armor covering them and can feel myself growing and bulking out. Red and gold plates covering me. The fight kicks off and I start trying to hit the two Superman dressed figures with repulsor blasts. (Forgot we were supposed to fight with pillows.) They are nimble and keep dodging. Hukif is kicking arse and throwing batarangs around.

It is impossible to tell Sensei and Dolphin apart now as they have both fully transformed into Superman, but everyone seems to be invulnerable to damage. Superman tries to punch me in the face and it connects but doesn't hurt. Then I decide to activate the armor's boots to get a sudden boost of super speed. This sends me shooting down the road and into a covered walkway area. I try to get back but can't find the others and the dream fades soon after.

6.30-7.40am
Medium LD #393
Spaceship game. I control a small ship trying to stop an unseen opponent from building some kind of bridge structure out of red and white metal. The ship has energy weapons to destroy the structures. For a minute it looks like I've won. Then the structure starts to repair itself. Over on a mountain nearby are small diamonds but they are embedded into the rock and cannot be collected.

Frustrated with this I start to fly the ship up one of the mountain paths. At some point this shifts to me running up the path instead. The path leads to a building with an guard post outside. However the guard implies that there is a rock concert taking place and suggests buying beers and joining the queue. Sounds good to me.

Up on the wall there are a number of cool guitars hanging as a display. Before joining the queue I think about going to the toilet. The door to the toilets is a heavy reinforced freezer door. After opening it, the doorway shrinks to the size of a letter box. Through it there are Chinese/Asian style squat toilets. Well I refuse to crawl through the tiny gap to use the bathroom.

After a false awakening in which AB tries to engage me in conversation about the home insurance - not now love, please! I start to see the beginning of a new dream scene and believe this to be the start of a WILD. (Nope already asleep.)

After the scene stabilises I sit up in bed. There is a young guy sitting across the room. I ask him if he knows where we are, then tell him this is a dream. He nods sagely but doesn't speak. The finger through palm RC demonstration doesn't work... So I pinch my nose to confirm.

Determined to do some more dream control I also show him that my arm passes straight through the closed window and the sill, before grabbing his hand and phasing us both outside.

Without stopping I drag us both into the air to do some flying. The area outside has a few buildings and tall trees. A giant bear seems to be stuck in the tree branches. In another giant tree are some DCs setting up a tree house. They are connecting balloons to various items to float them up into the branches.

Still dragging the DC along for the ride I demonstrate some fast flying but then this becomes difficult as strong winds pick up. The sky has turned dark and cloudy and it begins to rain. The heavy wind makes flight difficult.

To top it all off a giant meteor is hurtling through the sky about to destroy the world. I use telekinesis to stop it in mid air and prevent it crashing to the ground.

A DC tells me that it is in fact the sun, so I change the meteor back into the familiar flaming ball it should be, after pushing it back out of the atmosphere first with telekinesis. Then I sort the weather out and make it into a sunny day by clearing away the remaining clouds and stopping the rain. A small crowd of DCs have gathered nearby. They seem happy with the dreamworld adjustments.

False awakening. We are getting our passports back. Then there is a discussion about fire exit routes.

6.30-7.20am
Long LD 392
AB's parents are preparing for a trip. They are sorting clothes out and packing. I realise some of my dirty washing is upstairs. (It is unclear whose house this is, ours or theirs, it bears no resemblance to either.) I climb up the side of the staircase, holding on to the balusters (yeah I had to look that up) - the vertical railings. On the top floor is a single large room split into sections with large pieces of furniture. A trailing flex and electrical plug is dancing in the air. That's a bit weird. I pinch my nose to RC. This is a dream.

The room has become suddenly populated and there are various DCs sitting on the floor. One girl with long strawberry blonde hair catches my eye and I head over to talk to her. However she seems to already have a boyfriend, as a nearby guy starts joining in the conversation. He is tall and slim, with dark hair. Anyway, so I ask her for a kiss and she agrees. The guy starts suggesting things of a sexual nature that make it clear even if they are a couple they are very open to new experiences. Err well. Maybe later.

A nearby DC starts saying that it is impossible to leave this place. There are no planes, no trains. That reminds me. Tasks.

Remembering the black hole task I ask the girl and guy to follow me. The exit to the room leads via some falling down doorways into a slightly more open space. I then get them to hold hands and explain about the task to go through a black hole. They seem up for trying it with me.

How to open a black hole. Well maybe I can just tear a hole in the universe and everything will get dragged out like a vacuum. So I assume a wide stance and focus, putting my hands together I grab reality and literally rip it apart. A black void opens between my hands and I struggle to control it. It is about the size of a football.

Widening the distance between my hands enlarges it to a big black disc with nothing on the other side. I tell the couple I just met to jump through and they do, one at a time. The girl shouts something like "see you on the other side." It is hard to hear over the noise of the wind rushing past into the hole. Then I just let go and feel myself falling through darkness. As it occurs to me to try and slow my fall I hit the ground. We are in a grassy park on top of a hill. I can see the couple standing there grinning.

That was cool, they agree. We've escaped the dream world to another dimension. The park is filled with DCs which seem to be meditating, and beyond the park is a city made of tall glass buildings. The couple want to go exploring but now I'm hungry to earn more points. We agree to meet later. They pull out their phones and make two buttons pop up on the screen. It says tattoo? with two buttons - yes, no. Yeah why not! I hit yes and the couple say they will go find somewhere we can get tattoos and then text me.

I find a bar and start trying to think of other dream powers to try and recall mass telekinesis/gravity manipulation. I start lifting each patron of the bar into the air and making them glide around as if weightless. This impresses some more than others. When I finally drop them carefully to the ground a blonde woman comes over to me. She seems in the mood for a bit of distraction and I allow myself a bit of adult playtime in the private room next door before remembering the competition, apologising, and then phasing out through the window and wall.

The street is full of bicycles and cars. I steal a bicycle and start to ride for a bit before transforming it into a motorbike by twisting an imaginary throttle and making the noise, forcing it to move forwards without pedal power. After a bit of effort it starts to work properly, and looking down it has taken on the increased size and weight of a motorbike.

The street turns into a busy market. There are crowds of people. I start to weave slowly through them, still on the bike. They get out of the way without too much hassle. After a short time I wake.

5.30-6.40am 11/4/2016

Long LD 391 "Gold Thief"
I am on a bus that drives down an escalator with JR and ST. At the bottom of the escalator the bus stops. We get off and my friends start talking about the hotel. A guy is standing in a booth behind toughened glass. The others check in, then I tell him I was already checked in to room 8. The guy hands over some bits of paper and a key card. I follow ST and JR up a set of stairs that twist and turn, which then leads into a tunnel that is too small to stand up in.

Part-way along this causes me to become lucid. The tunnel is now a windowless grey room. After a reality check I remember my three step task and pick a random wall to phase through. It leads to a grey limbo so I push on until it forms a strange barren desert world. Ahead is a wide muddy track with a twisted tree and a guy standing next to two motorbikes.

Next on my three step is to do an advanced summon. Now that's something which is normally tricky. So I try to conjure a motorbike in the air. It doesn't work. Frustrated I jump on the red motorbike already there and set off. There are cars and a train heading down the street opposite so I set off in pursuit. After riding around after the other cars and dodging a train something hits the bike and spins me around. I head back to the tree.

It would really make sense to try and earn some more points, my mind still on the 3 step tasks but relaxed after the ride. I have a better plan this time, summoning a tree, with a large magical gesture that sweeps my arms upwards. The ground doesn't rumble or split though the tree does phase into existence from the base up. The branches wink in and out of existence then finally stabilise. I let out a whoop 'cause it worked.

OK OK. Three for three? Element manipulation. I look down at my hands and try to summon water in them. I've had luck with fire and ice, even electricity. This one is new. I see my hands turning blue and water like. The blue seeps up my arms and over the two little fingers on my right hand. On the left the thumb and first finger turn to water. I keep focusing on it to make more water and it starts spilling onto the floor. All the water from my hands spills onto the ground... and within a few seconds I'm swimming in an enormous lake.

The water continues pouring from my hands though and the blue takes over everything as I try to fly away.

False awakening. My dad is moving stuff around in my room. I wonder what time it is. They are talking about packing to move to Canada. Wait. What? I pinch my nose. Yep still dreaming.

I phase through the window and into a town. Having completed my three step I try to think of other things and come up blank until remembering to sit on a cloud. So I start trying to fly and find the city doesn't want to let me go. It always forms an unexpected barrier over my head.

I manage to do some advanced fast flying though, trying to build up speed to break through, but this doesn't work. In the end I'm in a room filled with people. I think about how cool it would be to enter somewhere like this at will. To be able to fall asleep and instantly enter this realm. I ask a dc if they can help me to to this but they remind me that you need to sleep first and do a WBTB. This is true.

Well there need to be more task attempts with this epically long stable lucid. So I start to do a TOTY and find a weird creature that is fighting some other alien like four-legged creatures. I try to turn it into a goat so I can then do the chimera task but this turns out to be difficult and destabilising.

False awakening. On my wrist is an enormous fitbit with a smartphone size screen, reporting how long I've been in "dream sleep". I do a reality check and become lucid again.

The surroundings are a mess of streets and Hong Kong airport - a mashup of British and Chinese styles. Looking out of the windows I try to summon rain to make a rainbow for the other TOTY, but the sky turns black instead. No good.

I fly through multiple windows and a metal gate thing that block my path. Finally I find a patch of blue sky with a rainbow and start to follow it. At the point it hits the ground it continues through the buildings and twists and turns through the streets that look more like a typical English or Irish village. The rainbow ends at a pit underneath a house. No leprechaun.

I throw stuff down the pit and start shouting to wake the leprechaun up and also digging at the end of the rainbow. The hole starts filling up with shiny golden coins. There is a grumbling noise and the leprechaun seems to be waking up from deep underground.

Then someone flicks my ear. It's a member of the tour group I met in China. She is Irish. Prettiest damn leprechaun ever! (She might not be too happy about it, but I took it that she was a leprechaun there to defend the gold, as she was hostile. ) I take a handful of the coins and announce I'm stealing them. She says something incomprehensible in Gaelic, her body language angry, and tries to flick my ear again, then I wake.

5/2/2016 (thu)

Long LD 354 "Tank Rampage"
The dream copies our ealier Thursday night tabletop session where we are making up characters for a new Star Wars Edge of Empire campaign. NH is there along with JK and a random guy and a girl. The room is also my bedroom. Having finished my character I lounge in bed listening to the others talking.

In a micro dream I am in a Star Wars themed space port. They have weird model helicopters and boats stuck on the wall. I see some kind of rollercoaster build in to the buildings as well.

The dream skips back to the earlier scene. Bedroom/Living room table.

My model lego quinjet is right next to the pillow and I accidently break it by resting my head on it. Part of the wing falls off and the cockpit. I reattach the broken bits and find lego Han Solo has stolen the quinjet.

Anyway Im desperate to sleep and suddenly hear AB in the next room, along with Star Wars mysic and assume she is watching The Force Awakens. I go ask her if she could turn the volume down a little. The music reduces in volume and I go back into the other room. The others pack up and leave, along with mysterious blonde girl.

After lying down to sleep a false awakening happens. There are people back in the bedroom talking. Also there is a cat and a large grey wolf. I study them and become lucid. Recalling the TOTM I walk through the bedroom wall. It goes slightly black for a moment then I end up in a hospital corridor. It seems deserted. I walk along to some kind of foyer and see my parents sitting in the waiting room. I wave and then run and do some parkour over the packed waiting room benches to get outside.

The car park has a chain fence running along it. I remember a personal goal to drive a tank through a city and decide this is a fence protecting an army base. I rip the fence down like its tin foil.

Inside is a weird white building that reminds me of a mission setting from MGS V. There are guys in military uniform hanging around chatting on the balconies. Possibly they are off duty. I decide to avoid them and try to fly over the building, because there are explosions and some kind of battle going on on the far side.

I try to use fast flying and after a slightly wobbly start launch up over the building. A battle is going on between several tanks. one looks like a small predator tank. I land on the roof, yank open the hatch and jump inside. Things switch to a first person view without any of the controls of the tank. Just as well cause Ive never been in a tabk and have no idea how to drive one. Instead it handles like a reasonably fast car. I head back towards town, following a road that is thinner than the tank but that doesnt matter. I see some vehicles and drive over them, smashing them up. And of course I fire the tanks main weapon off a few times in the direction of various buildings, watching them blow up in unrealistic Hollywood style. Vision goes a bit fuzzy and all visual sensations vanish but the feeling of movement continues.

The dream attempts to trick me with a false awakening. Nope.

I pinch my nose to confirm this is still a dream. The room looks bizarre anyway with stacks of orange boxes on shelves. The door leads into a hospital. Childrens ward. I quickly head through a few corridors to get out when a gorgeous red head catches my eye. Taking her hand I push into the closest room, which is a storeroom and filled with crap. I make a sweeping gesture to destroy it all.

For a moment I hesitate, just staring at her. A weird false memory suggests she is a coworker. (Nope). Also she looks about 18, dressed in green hospital scrubs but she looks to have a great body hidden under those not-so-flattering clothes. She waits patiently until I move in for a kiss, and she reciprocates. I have trouble with my trousers and have to look down to work out how to get them off. She is now holding up a mirror, reflecting the view of my privates back at me. Uh. That looks a bit wrong. I look from the mirror to my dream body and back. The reflection is not me its um... significantly wider, but my dream body seems normal.

On looking back up the mirror is now a laptop screen and the red haired woman is now inside the screen. Dammit. I try to enter the screen. "No! We'll be trapped!" she shouts. "You have to pull me out!"

I try to reach into the screen and grab her hand but can't get through. Frowning I try to get her back into the room with willpower. Her face starts getting dragged into the screen, some horrific special effects that nake it look like her face is dissolving into sand. She is screaming. Shit this isnt supposed to happen!

The scene fades. Can't leave things that!

Its another false awakening. An RC confirms it. I yank open the bedroom door searching for the red haired girl. She is waiting on the other side. She smiles weakly as I pull her into a tight hug and start appologising for what happened. She seems fine so we start kissing again and I get her top off this time. I'm trying to focus on giving her a good time since I still feel guilty about the whole ripping her apart through the screen thing.

I take my tshirt off and she looks at me with a slightly critical eye. Normally I wouldnt give a crap about my appearance but since this is about what she wants... "What?" I ask her.
"Kinda skinny." She says, stroking a hand down my abs.
"Ok, how about..."

My usual dream method of bulking up is to pull in some deep breaths and make some wrestler poses. "Hrrrrrrr! Rrrrrrrh!" This makes her giggle but seems to have the right effect. She seems quite happy with my new muscular physique. Following this we start to have sex but I get the feeling it isnt what she really wants.

We head outside to go flying. I take her hand and lift up into the sky. We head onto the roof of a tall building where there is loud music playing that seems familiar. I start rocking out and play air guitar. The girl is gone.

I head through the streets searching for her and run into a couple of thugs armed with knives who decide to try and rob me. Bad plan. As the first goes to stab me I slow time for him giving me plenty of time to block the strike and turn the knife back on him. The other guy steps in and I repeat this until they both have a couple of nasty knife cuts.

I wake up and consider trying to chain back in but think back on how long the dream has been and decide it might make me forget all this.

23/1/2016 (fri)

Before 5am
Fragments
-In bed trying to sleep. AB shifting around. AB leaves and then comes back.
-Trying to look at a forum on my phone. There is music playing in the background. Loads of new posts. One with a map and some kind of coloured board with markers on it. A game?

5.30-7am
Medium LD 346 "Catch the Waves"
I am on holiday on a tour, trying to pack a bag. The room is filled with mess. Nearby someone has a bag of sandwiches and I decide to make some for the journey. The cupboards turn out to be fake cupboards concealing metal pipes. Finally I find the peanut butter along with a giant chocolate cake and a tub of chocolate spread. The tops of both spreads are off and the contents have glooped out everywhere.

A nearby DC tells me that the chocolate is better. Then AB's father walks past and gruffly says he wants to speak to me later.

I find a computer and try to log on to a forum, but there is a problem with the page. It also starts playing a Disturbed song. Hearing the noise, three cute goth girls head over and start talking to me. Two of them have Slayer T-shirts on.

They tell me they are going to meet 'The Band' (unspecified), but they are concerned because 'they are sexually transmitted'. I realise this doesn't make sense, but before being able to put any thought into it they invite me to go with them. I agree, enthusiastically, eager at the prospect of meeting the band (and potentially getting it on with one or all of these hot chicks ).

Two of them leave. The last woman has now turned grown really tall and has short ginger hair. I wrongly identify her as someone I used to work with. She asks me to stay close while we are working with JP (Operations manager from previous job). The woman is afraid of JP for some reason.

To try and convince me, she puts a hand on my chest. Whatever the gesture means, the words that pop into my head are 'manipulative bitch'. I also recall that neither me or JP still work for that company, and become lucid.

The internet cafe is busy and filled with people. The screen seems really blurry, so I spend a few moments stabilising the dream by rubbing my hands together. The tall ginger woman is still there, so I mentally suggest that she should leave.

Outside the sky is covered by a huge concrete overpass. I start flying, casually at first, doing barrel rolls and loops. There is a rainbow in the sky, so I consider doing another TOTY. My crazy flying is making things unstable, also, stupidly, flying is starting to hurt because I'm using a casual sky-swimming method rather than quick flight.

Trying to speed up aggravates things. The blue sky above and the green grass covered platforms below are spinning so fast I almost collide with one of the huge flying grass-covered rocks. Then the blue sky has become the sea, filled with enormous waves. I fly underneath a massive wave and through a tunnel of water, like a surfer.

I try to find the rainbow again, but wake up.

False awakening? Remembering that IB wanted to talk to me I head over to AB's parent's house. His dog, well, bitch, a black labradour, is lying on the ground. Her fur has turned grey. She is so old now, I remember when she was a puppy... there are now two black puppies bounding around.

24/1/2016 (sat)

Before 4.30am
ND "Body in the Tree"
The top floor of the house is level with the top of a giant tree. Up in the branches is the unmoving body of a small boy. I head downstairs, somehow ending up outside. The back door of the house is hidden behind the lower leafy branches of the tree. I push through and step inside the house.

My parents are sitting inside the room. I tell them about the body. We all walk outside together to see if we can get the boy's body down.

The tree is now colossal, towering over the house and area, higher than a skyscraper. It is also carved into sections. My father explains they are doing maintenance on the tree. We walk past a huge stump that itself is taller than the house. There is a deep vibration in the ground beneath us. Dad asks if I can hear it. It is the main root drilling down into the Earth.

We continue forwards and find more parts of the tree. It is like a jigsaw made of horizontal sections that slot together into the trunk.

Beyond the tree are standing stones. They too are cut into sections which form giant triangular pillars. They are carved to look like Iron Man and Captain America.

5-6.45am
Long LD 347 "Chasing Rainbows"
Sitting in front of a computer, playing Warcraft, when my phone rings. I hear the usual ringtone song, AC-DC Shoot to Thrill, but it is wrong somehow. My sister is on the phone. Wow this must be expensive, calling from China. She tells me about a new game she is playing. While on the phone I flick through a hardback book.

My sister stops speaking. The phone has turned into a remote control. I see my phone on the desk and pick it up, still connected.

The dream shifts to me and AB walking through a park. A dirt road runs along one side of it, separating grass land from green metal-fenced enclosures. Inside them, people are playing tennis and football. AB is tired and climbs onto my back for a lift.

I 'wake up' in an odd room with wooden panels and shelves. There is an old black cabinet as well. The room needs redecorating. It is dark and depressing. I consider getting the white paint from the garage and covering the dark wooden walls.

In the next room two people are having guitar lessons. One is using a real guitar. The other guy is using a set of buttons on a plastic board. The guy with the real guitar is very good. He plays an incredible guitar solo.

I head through the room and find a hospital filing room. It is filled with desks covered in paperwork. The walls are white with details in green and blue. Sitting at one desk is the compliance manager from my previous job, SK. He starts a rambling story about blinds. I want to say "just get some, and send me the bill", but I'm concerned about what the cost will be if they are non-standard size windows.

False awakening. I'm in a light room, it seems to be late morning. An enormous truck drives past the window, just millimetres from the wall. The cab is above the height of the window. Several men are looking out as they go past. I start to read a book, remaining in bed.

The next truck comes through the wall. The convey of heavy machines continues, tearing apart the wall as I dive out of the way across the room. This is insane. I become lucid. The trucks have gone, leaving the inside of the room a complete mess but the wall somehow intact.

I phase through the wall and see the convoy of trucks, which are now giant robot machines, heading off down a road towards a town. I'm kinda angry, and decide to chase them down. Using super-fast flight I head down the twisting roads into the town and catch up with the rear robot.

Using super strength I pummel the huge metal machine with my standard fists, smashing it apart and throwing large sections of it into the air. The dream scene is unstable and rewrites everything as a game on a tiny screen, with me flailing around controlling a little character, like it's Kinect or something.

My parents are sitting nearby and patiently ask what I'm doing. The screen refuses to project itself up onto the wall, so I phase through the wall in search of a new goal. Opposite is a cafe/bar full of DCs staring at me. I clap my hands to check how stable the dream is. Seems fine.

I start running fast through the streets, searching for a motorbike, when the TOTY springs to mind. I start flying fast again, shooting up through the buildings into the sky. Sure enough there is a rainbow there. It looks like a gigantic beam of energy coming from another planet. It also has a countdown of numbers projected within the beam. The race is on. Flying as fast as I can, I follow the beam of rainbow coloured light. Just as it looks about to hit the ground, it twists back up into the sky.

7-8.20am
Short LD 348 "Rock Tree"
For most of the dream I am exploring an unknown city with JR. We end up at a beach. It is sunset. Another DC starts talking about climbing the cliffs and we head off to give it a try.

Later in the dream I am trying to deal with a possessed kid, or possibly a ghost boy. It's not clear. The evil/ghost boy flies up to a high shelf in the kitchen and starts pushing items off. They tumble and smash on the ground. I notice there is a real boy, probably just a couple of years old, sitting below, and run to protect him from the falling items.

After some false awakenings, I end up in a room full of people slapping each other. They refuse to stop fighting. In the corner of the room is a Christmas tree. It is also drawing in energy to the whole room. I become lucid and spot several holes in the tree-thing, which now appears to be a stone statue of a tree. On the floor are a bunch of glowing rocks, and I pick them up and start placing them into the holes. The tree pulses with more power. It almost falls on me and I push the tree, which is also as heavy as a rock, back upright.

The fight around me is getting a bit out of hand. I try to stop it.

21/1/2016 (wed)

Before 5.40am
Fragment
-Raining extremely heavily. My sister is driving around in the wet, despite not having a licence. Later I end up in a taxi, trying to work on a laptop. The taxi parks underneath an office - possibly the building where I worked straight after uni.

5.40-6.40
Fragment
-Trying to put turf on a giant hole in the ground which is covered in black plastic. Several dcs kicking grass around. JR shows up with "latest picture" - it moves in 3D.

7-7.45am
Short LD 345 "Water Pistols"
At work. JF is messing around with power leads and plugging things into a power strip on my desk. He looks up and tells me to row. Er. What? Then I notice a DC behind him is filming me on a phone. It's a prank. I stick both middle fingers up and my tongue out. Then we watched or played some kind of game involving a 'zombie bucket'. The bucket was for puking in when you got sick and became a zombie?

The dream skips and has me fooling around with AB in bed for a while. She got into a weird position with her head on the mattress and bum up in the air, and, yeah, stuff. It was kinda awkward.

After some random wandering around I am trying to find a bus to get to uni. Apparently I'm back in the third year trying to get my project finished. However due to work, I haven't been at any lessons this year... are we supposed to go to lessons still, or is it just all about the project? This line of thinking gets me lucid.

The bus stop leads through to another room and then into a park. There is a guy sitting on a bench under a tree. I think about my personal goals and start looking around to find a tank, or something big enough to turn into a tank. Across the park there seems to be a military complex. Big trucks, tents, at least 10 soldiers in military uniform with assault rifles. Hmmm. Don't really want to get shot, even if it means proving invincibility... I raise a hand towards them and focus on turning their guns into water pistols.

The soldiers start looking at their guns in confusion. Taking advantage of their surprise I fly into the camp but the scene fades.

I end up in the void and continue flying through it. Remembering the TOTM I start to wonder what exactly counts as a new world. I see fragments of places, different countries, all flying past me, along with text in various different languages - Arabic, Chinese, Korean. They do not form anything coherent. Then, ahead, the view changes to a forest scene.... my alarm goes off.

19/1/2016 (mon)

Before 4.20
ND "Problem with the Lights"
The lights aren't working upstairs. I try the spare room and those are dead too. Fuse must have blown, or it tripped out the breakers. Heading downstairs, the layout of the ground floor all different, but I try to find the cupboard under the stairs where the circuit breakers should be. Instead the box is mounted on some kind of cabinet thing. The whole room consists of piles of random junk. Sure enough one of the switches is tripped so I reset it.

After this we start cleaning up the room, passing bits of rubbish into a bag. A group of people are standing in a line as if waiting for a photograph to be taken. I stand next to NH from work and chat to her for a bit. Someone hands me a token that is the size of a 10p piece.

The dream shifts to me playing a tablet game. My cousin C leans over and presses a button, telling me it is an upgrade I should have got much earlier because it is really good. The game features small monsters fighting. Across the table people were looking at pictures I'd drawn of different types of swords. They said they like them. One appears to have a word written down the blade.

Well, it's time for a cup of tea. I collect some mugs and head into the kitchen. A female DC tries to help me make tea in a green tea pot. She says we need to put in extra tea bags, when of course it should be one for each person and one for the pot, everyone knows that!

ND "Private Auction"
I wander around an unfamiliar city with my friend JR. We are following MG, who keeps running ahead and then momentarily stopping to wait for us, which we just walk normally. We head through several streets and then head up a set of stairs into a station.

As we climb the steps a young boy stops me and we speak for a while. A couple of other guys are trying to break the kid's leg. I threaten them, saying if they hurt the boy I'll do the same to them. They back down.

Afterwards we head up the steps into the station, which turns out to be some kind of private auction, to which we are not invited. JR bids on the first item, which is a bottle of expensive wine, and then apologises for us crashing in without invites. "Add it to our fee."
Er No, please don't, I think, wondering how much these items are worth. Everything looks expensive.

4.50-6.30am
Long LD 343 "World War Orange"
The dream opened with some kind of documentary about the start of a world war. They were calling it world war orange, because of everyone trading 'Red Nukes'. Most of the footage is of missiles being fired and tanks rolling out over farmland.

Somehow I end up riding my motorbike into the oncoming enemy forces. Various vehicles come down the road towards me - tanks, trucks, rugged adventure motorbikes, weird three wheel rickshaw things. They all seem to ignore me as I go against the flow of traffic towards their homeland, which is apparently Russia. Some of the motorbikes heading towards me look like Ducatis. That's weird. Why would the Russians ride Italian bikes? Especially into a warzone.

I start to take out some of the smaller vehicles, causing them to crash by essentially playing chicken with them and riding straight at them. I become lucid and decide to steal one of the bikes, picking up one of the knocked over Ducati Panigale 1299s and trying to ride it. The bike refuses to start, despite all my usual tricks to try and get vehicles working. Eventually I have to fake a push bike just to get it moving, pedalling like mad to move at all.

The road leads past a Harley dealership, so I pop in looking for a less troublesome motorbike. Inside there is a ladder up to another floor. I start to climb it, awkwardly as the ladder doesn't join up properly.

Screw this. Might as well do part of my 2 step task and teleport. Recalling the weekly challenge task, I start to spin and focus on teleporting to an underground location with a sunken pirate ship. My spinning turned into swimming, and the sensation of water all around me. The water is murky green, but ahead I can see the wreckage of a ship and start to swim towards it. There is a massive hole in the hull, which I swim through, searching for a treasure chest.

Finding something wooden and bulky, roughly the right size for a chest, I grab the side of it and start kicking up to the surface. The chest is heavy and keeps trying to drag me down. Persevering I finally make it to the surface and hoist the chest out onto a small dock.

The chest is made of blue leather, with a pattern like crocodile skin. Will it contain treasure? I open it up, or rather unfold it like a package. At first it just looks like a lump of rocks and mud, but then something moves. A small crab hops out and starts bouncing all over the floor. The dock has turned into a sandy beach at this point. The sight of the hopping crab makes me happy for some reason, and I chase it around on the sand for a while in carefree joy.

Beyond the beach, heading back inland, I find a small motorbike and jump on it, determined to not let the earlier troubles bring me down. This bike is much more responsive and I start weaving through a busy market filled with stalls. This leads back to the room with the ladders from the Harley dealership. This time it is filled with people. I recall another goal, one that I thought of before bed and hadn't posted yet.

After taking a look around I slide my hand around the waist of a blonde woman and ask her to come with me. The nearby doors lead into toilets... hmmm, classy. There is another door that leads to a room with a guy and a girl on a bed, and a second guy watching them. I tell them to leave. The naked guy pulls out a phone and starts calling someone in protest at me stealing their room.
"Put down the phone and leave." I command him. They all leave and I start having sex with the blonde woman.

6.40am-7.30am
Short LD 344 "Pushing a Motorbike"
For unknown reasons I'm back living with my parents. They have a new house, with a large garage on the side of it. There is a motorbike parked inside, not mine, a Kawasaki from the style of the headlights. I head inside and find a table with my keys on it. The keys have all been removed from the rings and some are missing. I can't remember what they are all for.

Back outside my Mum is standing in the garage next to the motorbike, which is now my RL bike. The garage has no back wall and leads straight into the garden. I become lucid, but in a calm, not hyper-aware mood. Unable to think of any goals I start pushing my motorbike down the garden, which leads downhill. The view over looks a valley and a forest and river below.

18/1/2016 (sun)

Before 6am
Fragments
-My parents are staying with friends of theirs. I head over on my own to meet them. The house has large gardens. While walking towards the unfamiliar house, I wonder if her friends will recognise me. The last time we met I was probably 9 years old. Inside the house are an unusual collection of people, including my old boss DB.

-A TV show is being filmed in a large building. I run through the room, past someone talking to a camera, messing up the take. Screw it. I find a dead end and backtrack through the shot again as they restart filming. There are narrow stairs leading up. Here there is more filming taking place, for a different show. People are talking about designing helmets for a competition. TR has submitted a design already. I pick up and study a streamlined helmet, which is like the British olympic cycling team ones in style and shape.

-In a car as a passenger. Following a rider on a horse. The horse is at a strange angle, like 45 degrees rather than walking straight. The car is apparently stressing it out, so I tell the driver to back off a bit. The rider almost falls off but recovers. As we move lanes to go straight over at a set of lights, the horse moves out as well. Already at the lights is a giant cart thing. It rolls back and almost crushes the horse and rider.

6.30-7.30am
Short LD 342 "Throwing Stones"
ST and myself are wandering around tunnels on the London Underground. The walls are decorated in mosaic tiles. An announcement booms out: The train is already at the platform and about to leave. This doesn't fill me with urgency though, we continue walking. The tunnels lead to some stairs that fold back on themselves in incomprehensible MC Escher type ways. This makes me lucid.

After becoming lucid I start to fly upwards and backwards to get out of the dark underground tunnel. I emerge on a platform with large stone cubes instead of benches. Recalling the super strength task I try to lift the nearest one. It is easy to do, but the cube seems to have shrunk and feels really light. I pick up a few more of the stone cube seats and manage to lift one over my head, then throw it with one arm.

17/1/2016 (sat)

It's a long post... recall overload even before I get to the 3 lucids...

Before 6am
Fragment
-Crazy guy who had tried to shave off his beard... and missed the bit on the end. It was growing out sideways from the side of his mouth. He was very angry and shouting at everyone else.

ND "Spider Nest"
I 'woke up' and found my head had been covered in thick white spiders webs, while asleep. Sitting up I start pulling all the webbing off my face and off my hair. It is sticking to my fingers, so I wipe it on the carpet next to the bed. The web is covered in tiny white spiders, a whole nest of them scurrying around on the floor. Grabbing a heavy book from the night stand I drop it onto the nest, squishing them all.

From here, kneeling on the floor, I spot something else weird: Under the bed are a whole collection of cameras. They don't seem to be switched on though. The bedside light isn't working. In the gloom though it's clear there is someone else in the bed. A woman.

On the pillow is another tall light with a lampshade made from a fabric veil. I try to remove the veil and switch the light on, but it doesn't seem to work either.

ND "Size Nines"
With BB and two other guys. A police officer tries to arrest us but he is acting very un-cop like. He threatens us. I glance at BB and his face betrays nothing, but I can tell, just a twinkle in his eyes maybe, that he has a plan. BB acts calm and goes along with the arrest, so I fall in line too.

The officer doesn't have enough handcuffs for all of us so we walk behind him. We head down a corridor in some kind of leisure centre or pool. The officer stops and measures the other unknown guy's feet, asking which of us has size nines. I stay quiet. The officer doesn't measure my feet and we head off again down the corridor.

As we walk past a set of double doors, the third guy ducks inside them. I momentarily consider following him, but decide to remain with BB instead.

Ahead in the corridor are a group of people trying to move a large metal box. The officer stops to help them, so we join in as well.

ND "Imperial Guard Fight for Jesus!"
My Dad has written a quote on the back of a book. It was something about the truth... it sounded good, but I can't remember it. Probably didn't make real sense anyway.

So apparently Dad is now really into Warhammer 40K and has started Space Marines... because of Egyptology? He has started making a model board that looks like an abandoned warehouse with Egyptian hieroglyphs on it. Behind me he shows off his newest piece of work: A model pen filled with tiny dinosaurs. The models are moving and roaring, it is incredible.

Dad then starts telling me that he chose Space Marines because they fight against Jesus. Er, what?
"Not like those Imperials! They fight for Jesus!"
I can't help but laugh because it sounds crazy.
"No," Dad continues "I chose Space Marines because then you get a beast army too." He indicates the dinosaurs.
"Er, don't you mean Tau..." I reply, remembering that in Dawn of War the Tau got Kroot units which look a bit like dinosaurs.
Dad is insistent about the Space Marines. He shows me a screen with small animated pictures on.

The dream changes and I'm driving a car. Some idiot in a minivan tries to overtake in the outside lane while we are queueing for a set of lights. I see a gap and move into it, which pisses the minivan driver off even more.

Leaving the vehicle I walk inside a pub. A group of people are playing cards. One of them is JA from work. Also, they are pretending to be part of the Sons of Anarchy: Most of them are wearing leather cuts. They start to sort out drinks for everyone.

One guy who I don't recognise comes over and we hug as brothers. He warns me that he is getting his friend out of this life. He glances over to another table where a 20ish year old guy is sitting looking nervous. "We're getting out. He's mine."
"Yeah, fine, whatever. Do what you like."
He seems surprised by my response. I don't care and head outside. There are tables filled with patrons and the road still busy next to it. I have a false memory of leaving my dog out here and whistle.
"Juicy! Juicy!" ...apparently the dog is called Juice, after the SOA character.
A small wiry terrier runs over and I squat down to scratch the dog behind the ears and greet him. Juice then starts to follow me as we start to walk back to the car.

6.30-7.10am
Long LD 339 "Phoenix"
I am driving like a total maniac. It's all right, because this is a dream, so no one will get hurt. I nearly hit the kerb, then take a junction without stopping. The road layout is weird, or I'm going the wrong way down a slip road... and almost end up driving into a tree lined verge. Well this is silly... why am I just driving stupid? I should really just become lucid and do something productive with this dream.

So I acknowledge the fact this is a dream and attempt to stop the car. It has other ideas. The car fishtails across the road and collides with a tree, despite me fighting the controls. Oh well. Another dream car wrecked. I climb out and look around. The road is in the middle of a forest. Perfect for the fairy TOTY... but the scene fades.

Hoping it is just a scene change I hold on, assuming this is not a real awakening. After staring at blackness for a while I attempt to conjure a dream scene. Instead, the bedroom forms. AB is not here though. Getting up and looking around the room at several ugly pieces of furniture, I decide to use them to complete a different TOTY, phoenix.

Looking down at my right hand I flick it open and summon a ball of fire. It half works - there is heat coming off it but it is invisible, just a flickering haze of heat and warmth in my palm. I try the other hand and the same thing happens. Oh well. I throw the fire at the nearest cabinet and it starts to melt. The flames spread to nearby bits of furniture too.

I concentrate on the fire in my hand to turn it red, although it looks like real flame rather than just red magical energy. Happy with my fire-producing abilities I start chucking fireballs around the room. Soon the entire room is burning.

The original cupboard has melted to the floor in a dark mound of ash, still flaming around the edges. Willing a phoenix to rise from the ashes I concentrate and start seeing the shape of a bird start to form. It's wings seem to be formed of the same invisible fire in my hands, but much hotter. The phoenix is shrieking and twisting now, rising into the air.

The room feels very hot now. Uncomfortably so. I decide it's time to make an exit and phase through the window into the darkness beyond but end up in the darkness of the void, wondering what to do next.

Two of my goals require a DC, so I started thinking about forming a pub or bar where there would be plenty of people to try out some magic on. Instead a tablet forms and I start reading the dreams written on the screen, before realising the scene has formed around me already. It's another empty bedroom.

I phase through the window again. Beyond turns out to be a regular looking street, so I levitate down to the ground. It is night time. Everyone must be asleep in bed. Well, time to wake them up. I start to climb up the wall like Spiderman, to the upper floors, and peer in a window. The room inside has a wine rack thing, but is deserted.

The next window is much more promising. Inside, lying on the bed, in her undies, is a blonde woman. Well, hello! I tap on the glass to see if she's okay with me climbing in through the window at this time of night. She looks slightly confused, but smiles. I take that as an invitation and phase into the room.

The blonde woman stands up on the bed and starts moving to a second bed up in an alcove on the wall. As I start to move over, completely distracted from my goals and just thinking about having sex with her, the dream fades into a real awakening.

7.20 - 8.40am
Medium LD 340 "Turn You to Stone"
In a car again. This time with my Mum, Dad and sister. Dad is driving. We head into a small English village, heading down a hill with a pretty view of the town. However the road is blocked. I climb out of the car and become lucid straight away.

Still acting on the sexual urges stirred up from the previous dream's ending, I climb the nearest wall and find a door up on the second floor. Opening it reveals a bedroom. Sure enough there is a hot girl sitting on the bed, again in just her underwear. Unfortunately there is a guy sitting across the room.

"Excuse me. I really want to have sex with her, so you should leave." Brutal honesty. Sometimes my SC respects that, and it seems like one of those times. The guy gets up and exits the room. The woman just looks at me, almost blankly, uninterested. Bit of a turn off. I decide to persevere and see what happens.

Thankfully, once I sit down on the bed she decides that she is interested. To my delight she wants to try a couple of other things first before getting on with it.

When we are in the middle of having sex though, another woman enters the room. She's older, fully dressed, and, well, I'm enjoying myself just fine as things are. The other woman tries to stop us, grabbing my arm and trying to pull me off the bed. Remembering one of my personal goals, I turn to her and say "You're going to sleep now", in my finest Kilgrave impression. She curls up on the floor and starts snoring.

The woman that I was having sex with decides to go help the woman and try to wake her up. Fantastic. Irritated, I touch the girl's shoulder and will her to turn to stone. The skin on her shoulder takes on the appearance of stone, and the effect grows, covering her entire body. So now there is a statue of a naked woman trying to wake the sleeping woman.

Well, enough of this. I go searching for my motorbike. The bedroom door leads out into a car park. There are rows and rows of cars but no bikes, so I start turning around and looking for one. A couple of motorbikes appear, but they are weird looking. I specifically want to ride my own bike tonight.

I start to call out my motorbike's name and searching through the car park for her. (Yes, my motorbike has a name. I don't care if you think it's weird.) The car park leads to a street. There is a bus stop with several people waiting. A group of guys are hanging around. The bus stop leads into a tunnel, and at this point I acknowledge that my attempts to summon my bike aren't working. A new approach is needed. Before thinking of anything, the dream ends.

Short LD 341 "Pipe Cleaner"
I am desperate to urinate but unable to find a toilet. There is a large sink/bowl thing on the floor, so I pee into that. It is out in the open, in the middle of some kind of hospital. It seems to take forever, with there being an unending amount of urine. Some people walk past while I'm standing there, peeing into the bowl. They give me weird looks, but, well, I don't think I can stop the flow.

A nurse shows up. She starts saying I should get a check up, and that there is clearly something wrong with me. She holds up a 'medical' pipe cleaner - the single bit of wire with white bristles surrounding it. Eeeep, no, you are not going to do what I think you're planning on doing with that!

I turn around and am confronted by a second nurse. This one is holding what can only be described as a solid, clear plastic condom type thing with sharp looking bristles on the inside. There are rows of the same contraption in packets on the shelf behind her. Yikes.
"Stay the hell away from me!"
I zip my trousers up and make a hasty exit.

The hospital turns into a pub. I walk past the bar, which contains a few DCs sitting drinking. At the door, still thinking about the nurses, I decide to do a reality check. Yep. This is a dream. I almost leave the pub before recalling the TOTM and head back to the bar.

The barman gives me a surprised look when I ask for a beer. That's a normal request to make of a barman, isn't it?
"You want a beer?" He says, slowly, as if this is a very stupid thing to ask for.
"Yeah. A beer."
He raises an eyebrow, but walks away.
"What are you drinking?" I ask the guy sitting nearby at the bar, holding some kind of elaborate cocktail. "What's wrong with the beer?"
"The beer tastes like piss." He tells me. "This is orange juice."
Looking around, all the other patrons seems to be drinking fruit juice too. Great. I manage to find a bar where no one is drunk. I start to walk out of the pub and wake up.