StephL

Well yeah - not much more about it - I have recorded my dream-recall and won't put it in here - I just wanted to mention, that in a dream last night, I justified hearing something about flying trains with the memory of that first flying dream-train.
And twice dreamsign detection worked a bit better than that in the last three nights - but I instantly lost lucidity and woke up.
Method - nothing - just natural micro WBTB and then lying on my back a while until rolling over to sleep/falling asleep then.

To be continued later..
Maybe - happy to say - now I pulled myself together and dictated some stuff - I have a lot to journal - theoretically. I mean I did already - but writing down is an important second step - I know.
Ah well.

Important:
I got lucid - driving down in an open elevator - open to all sides, except down of course.
Through a forest.
Getting lucid was not only about bizarreness, though, I think - I simply felt that characteristic dream connectedness of me and my world - "something in the air", almost.
And I thought of wanting to get a stable 3D environment by moving and checking my frame of reference.
Having read something like this from The Cusp.
Well - it worked - buut.
First of all - super happy not to have lost a dream in frantic stabilization activity and getting indeed to running in a quite beautiful forest all 3D, and it felt like full immersion.
I really enjoyed it, and simply kept running for a minute maybe - and then I must have lost lucidity and also recall for that affair.
Next time I won't neglect the cognitive aspects of lucidity while running and 3D establishing.



Soo - too lazy to write zig pages - just this one dream-fragment (I do have the rest dream, though):

One scene was, that I made a break from riding a bike to somewhere, and went a bit into the forest, to be undisturbed in what I wanted to do. I found an interestingly shaped branch there - maybe 2 m long, devoid of bark and it looked as if washed smooth by drifting in water for a long time.
I planned on taking it for a friend, who likes interesting wood to carve it a bit more interesting.

Suddenly a pair of hikers turned up - and I tried to tell them, that it was not a way, where I was - that the way would be over there, and that they could break their ankles coming towards me.
I had climbed over some big roots and stones and it was steep there, too.

But they said - didn't you hear that scream, and that horrible loud sound?
I hadn't heard that - but once I climbed out of the under brush - one of my rather rare incidences of clear and even emotionally intense dream-bizarreness came about. The wood in the forest, but looking like from a beach was rather subliminal.

I looked at the sky, and there was a flying train - looming dangerously close over us, and we were afraid, it might come crashing down exactly on us.

But then it seemed logical, that it followed a sort of trail in the sky, when it made a sharp turn and came to land close to where we thought, Hamburg central station would be. A map of a supposed Hamburg appeared in my imagination - where it was divided in strips of different colour - that showed me this. Ah well.
So all in order, wasn't it?

The two people then complained about all the Bavarian tourists, and the fuss they would kick up - up to flying in per train ..
And I didn't get it - rather I was with them where the train had landed without "physically" getting there, and spoke some solace to an old Bavarian lady with traditional braided hair - she was intimidated by that sort of hostility.

One of the classical jumps in location - following the narrative and attention and not some sort of geography.

Maybe hypnosis has to do with it - but I caught a great WBTB time with naturally awakening after 6h and being pretty coordinated also - and that's very important for me.
So that I actually seriously lay down a bit for MILD and WILD try - this often doesn't quite pan out because I am too tired or too lazy or whatnot.

But this time again - I got lucid in the next dream. I stood as an adult in my old school and talked to a little girl - maybe 7 years old. I've been explaining maths to her (?) - anyway - I became fully lucid while continuing to talk to her.
Optical quality was really good, otherwise it didn't feel overly stable, though.

I will adapt my hypnosis script upon final translation to have certain in-dream things like stability and realistic feeling and whatnot in it.

I knew, I wanted at least a basic task - so I played the most stupid prank on her by just shouting booooh and jumping up and down and making faces.

She squeaked first and jumped a bit back, but then she started crying and quite bitterly.
I saw a mirror then, and looked at myself, and first I saw something like a really fierce human-bear-mix face.
Then the picture got unsharp and foggy while returning to rather human than bear - and I decided to leave that be, and went out to a sort of parking lot with pebbles, and some small plants were growing there.
Green bulbs - maybe 5 cm in height and they had a red star on top of them - almost like such fake cactus-flowers, pinned on.
I knelt down and tried to hypnotize or better stare them into magnificence - nope.
They just ignored me.
And I woke up.

Next time I will try other things - like telling them what to do, or pretend-remembering that it was just the time for them to go into seasonal transformation, or do some turning away from them.
Not just staring, in any case - I should know by now, that this just increases vividness and details..

My usual dream-signs – my usual ignorance and fail to detect them.

Again looking for a new flat – I had actually rented one and got the key – in Hamburg – never lived there. Nice flat, I really liked it. In the backyard was a low-down building, derelict. I like such places and wanted to go in explore, but it stank of urine and was full of ugly trash, like some nasty squatted houses do, just worse and it was nobody home.

I found two interesting plants in the backyard, though – big thick stalks and blossoms like trumpets – didn’t make me lucid, but I unearthed them and took them on my balcony.
When I wanted to come back there later – I couldn’t find the house any more.
I searched for it and found a house, a bit similar to the one, the flat was supposed to be in – the key worked, but it was a mistake. I was in a shared flat of several people, when entering, and a woman was in one room crying in her bed and asking, what I wanted there. So I left.

Then it was somehow so, that I had to search for yet another flat, since the nice one was too far away from university. I visited one, where when I looked out of the window – I first thought the whole piece of garden would be filled with manure – just to be told and then also see that is was instead a pile of sausages – also filled gut things – don’t know the English words for the affair.
I was a bit alienated, but looked at the rest of the flat – they said I could take from the sausages, and I found that sort of nice for a moment.

It turned out, though, that I was meant to live with an old couple together in that flat, and the former inhabitant had decorated a room with letters and stuff, like a kid would, leaving the people, where she stayed for a school-exchange, and that the couple expected me to live like that with them – like a kid. I said no thanks to that, and they got angry with me – I was pretty nasty to them then – but so were they.

There was also a sort of inter-cultural conflict going – Hamburg had for a while turned into a holiday resort place, where the dark-skinned inhabitants were rising up against the sinful holidayers, lots of police around. And I had for some reason taken off clothes and wanted to put on something else.
This worked fast enough not to be noticed by the moral apostles shouting in the streets.
Connected to this was a photo-shooting with models in bath suits at the beach.

Another aspect was me being on a long bus ride with many people – full bus – and we were sleeping in it, too. Later it turned out, that the bus driver made detours in order to charge more.
There was a fragment, where I had no money – none – and absolutely no idea, how I could get at some before like starving.
Thought about sitting down on the pavement and begging for getting a bit of money for a cake – but something other happened then.

And – I found myself in the kitchen of the house, I dream of second most frequently – of that ex’s parents. I was in the kitchen frying potatoes in a pan and then decided I wasn’t hungry and made myself a cup of milk-coffee.

Another episode, where it came to me, why one guy from back in school was nasty to me in the dream – that he had wanted something from me before, and was disappointed now.
Funnily – that has some actual bearing on reality back then – but I didn’t see that guy for ages. We had fallen out - and it might really have been down to that back then.

Load of crap – but I feel the more I journal – the more I remember the next night.

One dream was, that a friend of mine invited me to come with her to a job, which would bring a lot of money, but it was something physical and outdoors and you had to dress warmly.
There were so many people at the gathering place - somebody said, our group would go somewhere else for another job.
This entailed sitting in the basement of a shopping-centre on long tables with a lot of other people - maybe even only women, not sure.

And it was handicraft - we were making/repairing Easter decorations - I had to fix new candles into some places, where old ones had burned down, which - typical dream - was pretty difficult.
In the end I switched and went about painting flowers - TOTM overspill, I'm pretty sure - so I painted unusual flowers on pieces of wood. Na well.

Then there is a fragment, where I'm with an ex-boyfriend from my youth at a frozen mountain lake.
He doesn't want me to go out - it's not completely safe, I could also see that.
But I went - bit also to daunt him - nothing happened, but I had to go back at one point, because cracks began to appear. No hectic or fear connected, though - I knew, I'd make it back safely.

Another fragment was being in my old childhood room, which I loved, and exactly at the right time, when the evening light would shine through my windows in a most beautiful golden way.
Bit more about me trying to get rid of some nasty furniture that had been stored there and properly moving back in.

When that dream ended - I had a mini-lucid moment, but no optics any more suddenly.
So I jumped in the air, like I usually do it, when lucid - and I had for a little moment the feeling of hovering. I stared into nothingness, hoping for a dream - but unfortunately I woke up then.

There was one more episode, where I went to university with two male friends of mine, and one of them said, women should undergo special tests before they enter - because most of them wouldn't actually do anything with their valuable (also financially) high education, but work as plaything manufacturers.
I swallowed - was after that job episode above..

I planned to use my I-Phone for dictating - battery empty - and instead of using pen and paper - I thought, I'd remember it for later. Most of it gone.

Almost got lucid when I thought about how I was in the same, quite unique position before, to have to do my school end-exams once more for some reason.

I have been doing lots of mischief - making fun of teachers and generally not caring - feeling I know the stuff anyway. But then it came to my mind, that in two subjects - I wasn't at school for exams, and I could get a dangerous grade for passing the whole thing. One of the subjects was religion of all things - I went off that to "Ethics" back in reality and back then.
Nope - an exam was coming up and I realized to my chagrin, that the others had about 2 cm high of paperwork to prepare with.
Luckily a classmate of mine - I even shortly wondered and then remembered, that he was Lutheran like I used to be - gave me his assorted stuff, which was even more and cunningly fixed together - some sort of staircase binding - had to draw that, to explain.

So then I went out - first for a toilet - again!!
Then to the copy machine.
And I saw from the corner of my eye, that high up on a cabinet was a collection of maybe 150 plastic Smurphs. Delighted, I started collecting them together and presenting my find to the others.
There was a conflict with one of my oldest friends - it turned out, she was a bit out of her mind, because something awful had happened to her - forgot what - and so I forgave her the nastiness, she had shown towards me as a sort of reaction to that.

Somewhere my mother was involved - and I remember a pattern of a white plane with irregular holes in it - that was in some way significant to solve a problem.

And one more episode of me moving out of a darkish flat and having to pack up everything - while always something more was left. There was a partner with me in that - forgot what else.
Oh yeah - and somehow I had to go to university and the transit from where I lived to there was incredibly long.

That's it - while waking up in the night and for the day - I had a lot more.

Right - I'm a bit active again with trying to LD - did two hypnosis sessions, but only in English - and I do the cvsmehden exercises as well - took it up again.
I also did a WBTB with peppermint tea - but much too short - I was too tired to give it an honest longer try to WILD and just rolled over, without proper MILD or mantras.
So - what do I need?
More RCs, esp. every time I go to the bathroom, see below.
Translate the hypnosis-script - I have a bit of a hard time to read out loud in English and at the same time letting it trickle into my mind.
But again - the intro stuff and relaxation seemed to work.

What I completely neglected, though, is DJing - so here I am - writing trivialities:

I woke up in a huge bed with a guy, I knew, and the bed filled almost the whole room.
Somehow I remembered, that we would be new in a shared flat of students, and I worried if I did the dishes - which I did. For some reason I met up with my mother - and through the window we could see the new partner of her with a little girl, and we both tried to remember whom he resembled.
Now I know - he looked like a step-father of mine when I was the age of that girl.

I complimented her on how beautifully she was dressed - she was - with skirts, which are not exactly modern any more - but looking great (wide bell shaped skirts with tartans).
We went shopping - she looked for clothes and I went to the men's perfume section and smelled different scents - was nice - all a bit too male for me - but I only use men's scents irl, too.

Later we were in a supposed university - she came with me out through a door, to be company for me smoking - beautiful nature outside - old trees, a bit wild everything - a weird circle and other objects were there made from branches at trees nearby - like in True Detective - but without nasty connotations.

I didn't have ciggies - she gave me money to get some and disappeared somewhere.
On the way to get some - I got an urge to use the toilet - went in - it was full and some were out of order - once I got one - I couldn't close it - a nasty cleaning-staff woman said, I needed a pass for using the facility and seemed angry I even existed in the building.
So I had to get back out and woke up - and - of course I didn't need a toilet then after thinking I did for a little while.
Damn dream-killer-urge!!

I did a short WBTB and only shortly tried for WILD - and became lucid in the middle of a dream in one of my classical settings. Not wanting to destabilize with wanting too much - I simply decided to go with the story, but in between I did weird things.
Like fly in the house and tell them they would be my dream.
So it went a bit back and forth with me loosing myself in the story and getting lucidity back - like it was always under the surface, when I interacted with people, but esp. when I ended up thinking I have to pack and unpack bags - I realized it again fully.

Dream:

I met my first love and there were two other women.
One of them I remembered - the other one a friend of his, too.
And we started recollecting, how we supposedly would have met.
Namely at a club, where the two of them were "bouncerines" - one with a bear-costume for some weird reason. And then we lived through this wrong memory - quite like it was for real, in the end, just complete different outer context.
Weird.

Fragment:

Digging around with my grandmother in that stone circle again, where her secret lab was under - nothing more.

The biggest problem in this comp was my recall.

Really very, very bad recall - I slept in my husband's room by mistake and that shook it all up.
Last thing, I dreamt, was a fragment, where I was playing a game with him, where certain pieces of furniture were used as figures - not directly chess, but something with furniture warfare, and we had a lot of fun playing it - the furniture wasn't completely inert, it moved and acted a bit on it's own.
Was nice, actually.

I had an external problem yesterday night - happy I got as much actually:


#1) I'm at a very elegant ball, dancing with my husband, both happy - I could do with more of that sort of dream!!

#2) I dreamt of a big aquarium full of plankton - but they were visible to the eye - e.g. diatoms with 5 cm radius and soo beautiful!
It's just a snippet, though - wish I knew, that it was about - what I did with these in the dream!!
That's the inspiration source - watched it yesterday - but I didn't do that on purpose to incubate:



#3) I moved in with some people from real life to share a flat, and somebody moves into a flat on the story under us, whom I know as well, but want to avoid him and don't want my mates to know.

#3) Having lost the way in winter, freezing, searching for a street to get to the house of a friend.

#1) A friends cuddly toy dragon came to life and flew about in my room. Which was greeted by us as him having finally recovered from being packed and squished in a removals box.
He really was squished and came out looking unhappy irl - don't know, how they do that sometimes - he looks almost completely happy again now - after sitting on my husband's cuddly moose's head for some days.
A red one - my mate is from Wales.
That was nice - probably why it survived my horrendous recall.

#2) Repairing the base under a rain-drainage pipe of the old house (gaaah) with my grandma - it was just a circle of stones irl, but in the dream it was the camouflaged entrance to a cave, where she had some strange laboratory - and the stones had been falling through to her secret facility.

Such a shame - these are rather interesting fragments - I wish I had the whole dreams - instead of remembering the frustrating ones, with school, uni and searching/packing things..

WBTB at 4 h after bedtime.

Lucidity comes about at the end of the religious lesson dream - when we leave the school building, I suddenly realize, that I got nothing to do with school any more for a long time.

So - I do my nose plug - yepp lucid - and remembering to do a proper senses stabilization as the main and first of all goals. So I look at a tree very intensely - at the bark.
And it does indeed get clearer and clearer - and fills my whole field of vision.
When I try to look somewhere else, though - there is nothing whatsoever left of my dream - and I wake up.
Should have moved, involved touch and not only looked at one thing - now I know..

Been complaining in the comp thread already - it's great on the one hand, how often I can get there lately - but once there - a lot is open to be wished for.
As said - I want adventure and it should look realistic and take long!
And I want my aliens!!

Just for my own motivation - I love the book "The Algebraist" by Ian M. Banks - there is a gas planet named Nasqueron with "dwellers" - and I so want to meet them and ask what they dream for the special task. Here is one of them:



It's supposed to be the height of say eight humans - and I'm visualizing them daily!
Maybe doesn't look as if you want to meet one - but they are fabulous - I want them in light grey by the way - I even drew one.


Okay - the dreams:

#1) Back in school and in a religion lesson - opted out of these irl - it's absolutely horrible - we get read texts, which make no sense - are even offensive and accusing all sorts of lifestyles of depravity.
But the teacher does have no natural authority - so I start behaving really badly - mock her - shout nasty comments, change places to talk to different people - one of my gay mates from university is there, too. And we start throwing things at her and chanting.
Pretty unusual - normally something doesn't work, or I fear something..
Yeah - but she gets the better of me by proclaiming, if I go on with it - I fail the class - and such my final secondary school exams.

#2) Been a while, I remember one of these - again I need shelter and go to my ex-boyfriend's parents house. It's in the middle of the night - but I'm lucky - no parents at home.
But his little brother - we chat a bit - he tells me Mr.X can't be disturbed, because he is soldering a very important circuit board. There is a violin in the shelf - and I think wow - lets see, if I can still play.
And I could - I played a while - but then - the part on the body, where the strings are originating loosened itself. It was clear, that it was not really damaged, but had to be put together properly again.
I tried to hide it from the brother - and managed miraculously - and fiddled about with the thing in non-literal sense this time. I managed - but didn't really trust it to be played or even touched roughly.
And went in to my X, forgetting about the importance - but he kept on soldering and talking to me at the same time. And told me something interesting - not for public consumption - but seems my uncon had something to say there.

#3) Again one of these - I got to really take note, when there is confusion as to where I stand in my institutional education - earlier it was school - now it was about where in university.
It's a bit boring to describe - I went into lectures and noticed, I had the certificates for them already - but always after almost despairing, how I should manage to take on that stuff they presented.
My gay friend was with me again - in a way it was like the second half of the first dream, just interrupted by the LD. I remember many details about it - like being in the cafeteria and they haven't got any strawberry cake left - despite everybody eating one on the tables.
And in the end, I met an other old mate from uni - and she told me, that I had long finished and my endeavours were completely useless.
Should have gotten lucid again from that - but didn't.

Fragment:
I was in a flat with a friend, and she was worried about two kids, if they would be in good care.
Which was sort of understandable, when the sitter appeared - she was enormously obese and wore a glaring pink mini-dress, made from such a flouncy fabric like some swimsuits are.
Her behaviour was not as mad as her outfit, though.

Did a WBTB after 4h and 3 mg Melatonin (empty now).
My recall is pretty patchy.

The lucid:

I find it almost embarrassing how much a 40 year old woman dreams of school and such stuff - but there you are. I was on an excursion with class-mates, got off track, and noticed something "in the air" - happened before, that there was nothing specific to detect.
Did my nose-plug - my by far favourite RC - and started out again by mental stabilisation, if one can call it that, because while thinking through, what I wanted to think through, and again doing some maths - I lost visual clarity - and didn't get it on properly for the whole rest of the anyway short LD.
It was a bit like groping about in the fog - but it was not fog, more like my eyes didn't work properly.
Maybe I should have tried to get that in order, but I feared to loose it altogether, before being able to do anything - so I took off flying.
That made it better a bit while in the air - but it wasn't really fun - more like an ordeal to get something done. When I was down - the visual problems were worse again.
I didn't find somebody to interact with, neither did I feel up to summoning a portal - the next step in the plan. What I finally did, was eating some grass.

Now - this was pretty useless - damn - the last one was really okay..


Some disconnected fragments:

#1) The people, who could guess, where I got this from, probably/hopefully? won't read this here - ähäm..
I conducted an experiment with my colleagues, where everybody got a small glass pyramid and - yeah - what? I can't remember what they were supposed to do with it. But some of them were fake - the wrong configuration. What came out, was that they did work, the proper ones.
I woke up from this - and it was a whole dream - and I thought, course I remember it - made coffee and pooof. It was great - there was a result, and further consequences - a shame.

#2) Now - that is something, which I'd love to do lucidly - but maybe there is even an effect like this:
I got a darts-lesson by Gary Anderson!! And it was as if I hadn't ever understood how to throw a dart - there were projected planes visible - hm - maybe like with a holographic projector - but more physical - you could keep your arm like in a tunnel, definitively straight.
Also no wonder - last night we've been playing for hours.
So - I should really incubate darts for such days.

#3) An argument with a friend of mine, who lives with us for the time being, how he should get himself a flat finally. But in the end I apologized.

#4) This motive again, that I have to pack my stuff together from a hotel room - or it was actually a rented mini-flat. And while packing, it got more and more. But after a while I "remembered" that it was a family holiday domicile, and that the stuff can stay, and that actually a lot of it belongs to my father.
I came across documents - letters - between my father and a friend of his.
They were pretty revealing - but unfortunately all details are lost to me now.
But it felt, I had found out something profound about him.

#5) Police again - searching for a vandalism-culprit - and I had found a plastic covered passport and further papers and gave it to them. But I knew, it hadn't been that guy. But it wasn't me either.
Bit disturbing, this.

3 dreams and 1 fragment - not so very satisfying..

#1) I was in my old school in the evening. There were Christmas festivities - a concert in the big hall and in some rooms there was food and chocolate St. Clauses - I was there with a friend, and we decided it is all boring and we go somewhere else.
When we came to the street - my friend took a strange vehicle - it was blue, a platform and something to hold on to on wheels. Now I think of it - it was like pallet transporter without something on it - or just one palette maybe - but all blue metal.
I asked her if it was hers - she said no - but took off with the thing and me on it in quite some astonishing speed.
And after not long, she had huge problems coordinating the thing - several almost-crashes.
In the end I jumped off and got on a bus, but that was so full, my face was pressed to the glass and everything else to other people.
Very happy, when we were finally where I wanted to go - the house!! - and I jumped off.
So this nasty house evaded my notice again.

#2) This was something with me finding a new domicile again. Very sweet - like in a garden colony almost - there were really small houses, bit Louisiana style - and they all had verandas and happy people sitting on them and having neighbourly chats and wine and food.
When I walked down this avenue to my house - a police officer came up to me and said, they would need me for asking questions about somebody else living in the vicinity.
I told them, I just moved in and don't know anything.
Then they asked me to come with them in one of the other houses, to take part in an observation.
So we went there - and they had built a fire right in middle of the room on the floor, with sand and some stones as a base.
And I thought, now this is clever - seems the houses had no heating - and I planned to do that at my home as well - studying the rather crude construction.
I was thinking, but this must be dangerous and illegal - but since the police themselves did it - it must be okay after all.

#3) This one was me being out drinking beer in a traditional Bavarian facility, lets say it so, after having gone hiking. It was then about where the best route for hiking and the best facility would be, so we went testing - some of the places do exist - it was actually not so much testing, but me viewing the possibilities with myself and the others in it from sitting there.
Bit weird - but I have that sometimes - I watch parts of the dream as in a movie.
There was a very attractive guy as well, with huge beautiful brown eyes - but I didn't talk to him.
Neither to a group of ex-colleagues, whom I rather tried to avoid - really disliking the one woman, who was their chief-hen in a way.
But I did talk quite extensively to the waitress, who told me about her sick daughter, and I tried to give a bit of useful advice.

Fragment:
I have a plan for a portal for my next LD - and lo and behold - I dreamt something like it, without getting lucid. Otherwise I can't reconstruct much - but I was walking, and like so often searching for something, when I came to a highway bridge, under which I found the portal, inlaid in a concrete wall.
It was pretty much like what I visualize - 2.5 times 2.5 m diameter, round, grey and with a middle bar and some decoration - but very unostentatious.
Yupp - don't think, I opened it - I guess, I would remember that.

Ah - but the good thing about this just came to my mind now:
I don't need to pretend-remember the portal in my next LD - I have seen it before!!