Suena

Tried to WILD. I got my body into SP, or just about. I was like this for an hour before I turned over to just sleep. I kept getting a small vibration in my ear at every small sound I heard. Is that normal for you guys? I've felt it before trying to enter SP, does anyone know what that is?

Anyway, rolled over and had a dream. I was at some kind of cook-out family thing at my moms house. My cousins were there, and my sisters. I had my son and T with me. I was going in and out of rooms. I saw my oldest sister in one room, and she was kind of acting like she used to when we were living together. Like her teenage self again. I remember seeing my other sister, but she was being stand-offish, like me a little. My oldest sister, I'm not sure how she was doing this, I can't remember her really saying anything to me, but she seemed to be trying to pry at me like start a fight. Kind of acting like I was having a bad attitude and she was going to make it a scene, I don't know.

So I was getting kind of pissed off and wanting to leave. In my head we had been there for a couple hours already, so I went into the living room and saw my mom on the couch. It took me a second to focus on T sitting next to her, I raised my eyebrows (something we do when we wanna leave someplace) and he nodded. We started to get W's things together when my mom was kind of like, "ahh are you leaving already? I'm cooking chicken, don't you guys wanna eat?" I told her it sounded good, and I sat down on the couch. I started ranting to her about how D, my oldest sister was being. She didn't really listen, and T made it look like we were going to stay and eat.

I went outside and for some reason there were people standing at a stop light next to their car. They actually were dancing to some techno in the middle of the street. It looked like fun and I went and joined in for a bit. Then I'm walking back to the house and there's an election going on, something for the city.

Everyone's in these pews and the little electronic voting things are behind this pulpit or w/e. Everyone's getting seated, my sisters and mom and dad are in the back row. T's voting in the thingy. I get up to go talk to him. I've got W in his carseat and I'm carrying his bags. T comes out from behind the thing and we're looking for somewhere to sit. This old man pats the pew next to him and I laugh for some reason. Then we notice an newly empty pew and we sit.

There's a comedian of some sort on the stage thingy and he was being kind of funny. Apparently he had some of his friends down in the corner at the front and they were laughing all annoyingly giving their friend shit. I got a close look at one of his friends and it looked a lot like the cable guy. Ugh.

Then I'm outside again and I was getting outa my car for some reason, going back inside to see T and W. I take my seatbelt off and my shirt comes off. I get out of the car before I realize I'm only in my bra. As I'm walking back to my car, this girl comes out of a clothing store, she's dressed really preppy and my first thought was, she got the job. Then she says something a long the lines of "I've already dealt with enough dirty whores today, please." I was shocked. She was walking toward her bike rather quickly now. I started following her, still in my bra, pissed off. She seemed a little scared and I asked her what her problem was. I grabbed the bag that was in her hand and slammed it down. She almost got to her bike, but I beat her and pushed it over, getting in her face. I was so ready to tear her up. She moved and started walking away from the bike. I picked up the bike about to throw it at her, I ended up sitting it down. I was going to go inside, but she said something else to make me mad. She was on the ground, not sur ehow she got there, but I kicked her really hard in the belly.

As I did I saw a cop go by on a street about 10 feet away. I hurried and hid in the entrance of the place where T was. I saw the cop pull in. The girl was still on the ground where I left her. I almost went inside to sit down, but I figured they'd find me and it'd make a big scene. So I stayed put, but I was really scared and hating myself for what I did. Then I hit denial. I said fuck this, this is a dream and I made myself wake up.

I went back to sleep. I was at my moms again, same cook out. I was standing outside with my cousin, so I thought, then he started yelling at me. Then I'm inside with my mom and she tells me she needs to show me a video. It's a video of me and it was telling me about "all the drama" I cause in the family. I couldn't believe that she thought of me like this. One term, brightly bolded, like they were trying to sell the damn thing said "Dramatic Darkness" is what it called me. My mom was almost in tears, like it was some kind of intervention thing. I gave her a really disgusted look, angry because I knew her and my family absolutely didn't understand me at that moment. I got up to leave and she said if I left then me and T would have no place to stay anymore. (I don't live with her, I have no idea what that was about.) I said, "That's great mom, reject your daugther and your grandson. You know, mom, W is all I have now." Then I gave her more attitude, mockingly, said "yes I know this is more 'dark drama'!" Then I was going around to grab all the stuff. I went into the kitchen and I didn't leave, I cried.

Before me and her got into it, me and T had also had a fight, I just can't remember much about that one.

Also, I can't remember if the following bit is from my nap or last night's dream, but I remembered something else.

Being on a bike path of some sort with my friend A and she was guiding me around it.