Timothy Paradox

I was in some kind of video game world. I flew up, but went way faster than I expected. I went so high, I could see beyond the borders of "programmed space", like when you go out of bounds or "no-clip" out of the map in a game. From that altitude, the world looked very artificial and gamey indeed.

I came down again and came in for a landing near a big building. My approach was fast, and at very low altitude, so I skidded on the gravely ground for several dozen meters before coming to a stop. There were some people and some stuff I don't remember probably happened, but after that, I took off again (which was a challenge from ground level, flight is easier if you jump off stuff) and flew up to land on the roof of the big building.

The building resembled a huge supermarket, not high but very big. On the roof, I encountered a few kids, many aged between 8 and 12. I asked them if they were planning to jump. Apparently, flight was common enough in this dream universe for that question to make sense! Now that I think of it, I recall jumping off a building (no fear whatsoever) and flying effortlessly, but don't remember when this happened in the narrative of the dream. Anyway, the kids laughed at my suggestion and said they were there for another reason.

I followed them into some kind of "bar". It was some shady dude's apartment (on the roof of the supermarket!), but retrofitted to act as a bar. There were some minimally dressed young women laying around, one on a couch, a few more standing around elsewhere. I didn't think they were too attractive. I found the guy who ran the place in the kitchen. I bought a drink, and I think he offered me "other services" as well (okay, he was a pimp). I wasn't into the idea at first, but in the end I was like "what the hell, okay" and said I wanted the chick laying on the sofa, because she was the hottest of the bunch. Sue me.

I'm in a bathroom, one that closely resembles our bathroom from when I lived with my parents. I think I was getting dressed, but I had a friend (a black dude, never seen him before in real life) who was still in the shower. When I got out of the shower, I accidentally left the door open, and water had spilled all over the floor. The floor was made of light gravel (as it used to be in real life), and the water got between the gravel, soaking into the floor.

I left the bathroom, and found myself in a massive corridor that resembled a shopping mall. I went all the way to the back of the hallway, and up an escalator. There was a military outpost there. The soldiers were clones, like the ones from Star Wars. I apparently got into a big fight with one of the commanding officers, who betrayed me. The clones under his command immediately opened fire on me. The day before I watched an episode of "The Clone Wars" in which a clone commander betrays the Jedi. I grabbed my own gun (a pump-action shotgun, I think) and fired on my attackers while I rushed back down the escalator. I ran back through the hallway and exited through a door somewhere.

I found myself in one of my former schools (it was a mix of several of my former schools). I wandered around, not sure where I was going. I was still armed to the teeth, and realized I was around children... in a school. They'd think I was one of those terrible school shooters, and I didn't want that! I hid the gun in the sleeves of my coat (!!). I now had two guns, one in each sleeve. I walked through classrooms, and across the courtyard of the school. One person recognized me, and shouted something at me. But it was definitely the present, not the past. I walked behind a couple of girls who were on their way to their next class (I guess), and saw a teacher I recognized (in reality, he is a German actor who plays the medic in the movie 'Der Üntergang', or 'Downfall'). I asked him how to find the building where the adults take their evening classes (that was apparently the large building I had escaped from). Not sure why I was trying to go back there.

I'm in a Tr0n-style landscape, that feels quite surreal. I think I'm in a rocky/somewhat mountainous area. I look in the distance, and see three absolutely titanic "buildings" (somewhat resembling a pyramid with flat top, or Tyrell Industries' HQ in Blade Runner) in the distance - each adorned with a giant triangle symbol above its gate. One building glows in a red hue, the one next to it green, and the one next to that blue.

So in dreams, our abilities are typically limited, and we are bound to follow the "plot" of the dream, blissfully unaware that we are dreaming. When one becomes lucid, one becomes truly conscious within the dream, can break free from the plot and decide for themselves what to do within the dream universe. Typically, the dreamer gains a whole set of abilities, only limited by one's imagination, and dream control.

I had a fairly active period in which I had quite a few LD's, most of them induced on purpose using practice. Then I stopped, but still had one or two LD's per year, naturally. Until last year... As of late, it's as if my subconscious has found a way to "sabotage" me. I have dreams these days, quite a few, in which I think I am lucid, feel I am lucid, but am not truly lucid. I gain a subconscious awareness of my reality (that I'm in a dream and I have god-like powers), but this awareness stays "beneath the surface" - like I'm not really aware of it.

Another way of putting is this: in lucids, you break free from the plot. The plot created by your subconscious, whose "job" it is to keep you unaware and following the story of the dream. So it's almost like my subconscious, in an attempt to stop me from breaking the plot, invented a genius way to stop me from doing so. It made the act of "breaking from the plot" a part of the plot! I literally dream about thinking that I'm dreaming. It gives me a bunch of cool powers I would normally have in real lucids, except they work far better because they do not *really* rely on dream control (like they do in lucids)...

That's just a theory of what this might be, though. Most of these "fake lucids" do wake me up when they end - just like all lucids do. I don't think I've ever *not* woken up right after a lucid ends (mine usually end when I lose control, typically when I'm having too much fun to bother about dream control). So that's a sign they could be lucids after all.

Still, in these "fake lucids" I never *truly* feel like I was free. I do in the dream itself, but after waking, it still feels like everything I did was "on rails", determined by another - not myself.

Again, fascinating.

For the past few days, I've had more of these experiences that occur during the waking phase, right before gaining full consciousness. It's almost like I am speaking to myself. It manifests as an "inner voice", which feels alien to my character, but at the same time definitely comes from me. Like there are two of me existing simultaneously, but are separated. I have a potential explanation for this phenomenon.

During sleep (in non-lucid dreams), the "logical" part of the brain (the frontal lobe) is mostly shut down, and we are guided/motivated almost entirely by our subconscious (which is why we are less "restrained" in dreams, and tend to "follow the plot" without thinking things through properly). When waking, the logical part of us wakes up. Perhaps, for some reason, I don't sleep as deeply as I used to, and/or my waking phase takes longer than it used to. During that time of "ultra light sleep", my consciousness (frontal lobe) might awake while my subconscious is still asleep, and immersed in a dream. Instead of leading to lucidity, it might cause some kind of temporary "split" of my consciousness and subconsciousness, in which the former can give "advice" to the latter...

In both cases I experienced thus far, the inner voice was a "voice of reason" that gave advice on my dream experience, things that I would have missed if not for that hint. The voice has some kind of "meta-knowledge" of the dream. In one case, it told me something would not work - and in another case it outright told me to stop being a zombie and flee from the hideout of an obvious serial killer... something my dream character was blissfully unaware of until the voice told him... me... whatever.

Weird stuff.

I'm at some guy's house. He has an injured or unconscious woman with him, who he carries to a small room where he lets her rest and recover (he found her somewhere and carried her to his home, I think. *REDACTED SECTION* At some point, as I was slowly waking, a voice (or my waking voice speaking to my dreaming self) told me "dude, that guy is a serial killer - get out of there". I decided to escape the house, but woke up.

Another fragment that occurred *while* I was waking up. I was in bed, could feel my own body and see reality, but hallucinated that my phone went off. I picked up the phone and talked to a doctor. I asked about psychotherapy. The doctor said I had to see a professional for that. I asked who he would recommend exactly. At that moment, my waking was complete, and I realized I wasn't on the phone at all. I think I spoke that last sentence out loud.

Awesome sequence of dreams, very memorable. I had orders to assassinate a military officer (using a sniper rifle) at a military base. But I had trouble identifying him, and there were far too many other soldiers around to get a closer look. I think I temporarily gave up.

Another scene. I'm in a big city, at night, and it looks like it's the 1920's. It's raining. I'm in a parking lot (lots of old timers, that's how I know I was in the past), and I wanted to steal car to get out of there. My motivating for this criminal behavior is a mystery to me. The door opened, as door locks didn't exist yet in this dream version of 1920. The car alarm went off, and it was loud. A voice told me (or my own inner voice?) that I needed keys to start the car, so it was pointless to even try. But it was too late... between two buildings, I could see a man, a cop, approaching - investigating the alarm. I tried to casually walk away from the vehicle, but knew he'd seen me and was following me. He would arrest me soon, I thought. But then, something happened. I "felt" like I could fly. I could sense gravity "tugging" at me, almost begging me to take off - it's hard to describe. I realized it was the ultimate way to escape arrest. Here begins the "pseudo-lucid" part of the dream. I have all the abilities I'd have if I was lucid, and have some subconscious idea that I am in control and this isn't real, but at the same time not really... once again, very hard to describe. I still blindly follow the "plot" of the dream as if I wasn't lucid. I take off, and look back at the cop in mid-air. He stands there, looking at me, bummed out he couldn't arrest me. I give him the finger, and fly away. The flying, despite the rain and the darkness, felt exhilarating as hell. I looked down, or saw my shadow on a building, and saw I was wearing my long black trench coat. I was also wearing a black leather cowboy hat. I flew through the city, fast. So fast, I flew straight towards a building and knew I'd hit it if I didn't make evasive maneuvers pronto. But as usual, I knew such high speed maneuvers would be difficult, and I was too lazy. I decided to simply fly right through the building instead. I expected to violently burst through the windows and through the whole building, but instead I just kind of "no-clipped" through it, as if it was a fake video game object. This felt dissatisfying.

I flew into the next scene. Near the base from the beginning of the dream sequence was the Hollywood sign, which I flew past. It was sunset. I decided to finish my mission. Here things get violent. Continue reading at your own peril. I landed in the middle of the base, and smashed my way into the largest building. I fought soldiers, and defeated them easily using super-strength. I smashed them into walls, through walls, into each other, and worse. If doors were closed, I casually smashed them down, or just walked through the wall (physically breaking it down, not phasing through). At one point, to get to the floor above me, I just super-jumped up, smashed through the ceiling, and ended up on the floor above! In combat, I used a form of super-speed (the same mental power that propels me in flight) to bash into soldiers, to get a bit of extra punch. Anyway, I couldn't find my target. I grabbed a soldier, and forced him to tell me where his commander was. The soldier told me he was in the small building across from the big one I was in. I walked over to it, and casually bashed in the massive steel door. There he was, the target. Suddenly, I was attacked by several soldiers that came running at me from the courtyard. They stabbed me with their knives (in the chest and abdomen), but my skin was as solid as Superman's and they did not penetrate. It felt very uncomfortable, though. I easily "defeated" the soldiers. Again, very violent moment coming up. I turned to the surviving soldiers, as I was holding another one in my iron grip. I told them I would rip their buddy's head off. The commander mockingly said he doubted I could do that. The soldiers, on the other hand, said he should not doubt my words. They'd seen me in action before. Eager to prove my power, I started violently jerking my prey's head to the back. I used my mental "lucid powers" to imagine it being easy, but it still gave a lot of resistance. In the end, I could see a red "line" in his neck where the skin started tearing from the pressure... That's where the dream ended. It was ludicrously violent, but it felt so good. I was an absolute terror, the "anti-Superman". It felt... liberating! The entire dream had a pretty cool pop-rock soundtrack, and I think I may have heard the song in real life before.

In a later dream, I was an "escort dude", or gigolo. People were standing by a black board, and had to "grade me". Disturbingly, my mother was there too, and also graded me (gross!).

I was in a classroom, among teenagers, but I was an adult myself. I lost my temper, as the other managed to say things that got under my skin and made me relive the horror of my own high school years (and history with bullying). I was desperate to affirm my superiority over them ("I'm an adult, you can't bully me anymore!") but felt utterly powerless. Guess that's why I enjoy ripping DC's heads off...

I was carrying trash bags while riding on a motorcycle through my hometown. One bag in each hand... Cool 80's synth music played in the background.

Futuristic military scene, videogame-like, healing gel (that you had to squirt all over you), I'm hurt so I fall behind. We rush to the medivac/extraction chopper/VTOL. Someone (a female squad member) comes back for me and helps me onto the chopper/VTOL (she yelled at me to hurry, I tell her to heal me so I can run properly). The craft flies away in third person.

Futuristic world, a lot of metal. Some kind of airport? Flying cars (a Fiat, no wheels) and others vehicles with AG drives. It was still a military installation, I think. I learn I can hover and possibly fly. Someone (still a woman) sees, and informs me non-vehicular flight is not allowed here. I see a sign, indicating human flight is indeed illegal here.

Vision resembling scene from "Another Earth"? Other Earth in the sky.

I'm in some kind of apartment, a rather crappy looking one. For some reason, I was getting shot at. It all felt very raw and "realistic" (the bullet impacts into the walls and doors). There were several armed persons, and I was armed myself. I opted to stay in the doorway for cover. I had an ally, a fellow I know from real life called Victor. He's... absolutely not suited for this role. He's peaceful, a scientist and gay. I'm pretty sure he abhors violence. Not this version! Victor, also armed, rushed in and pulled a Leeroy Jenkins on me. He actually killed several perps, with gun and/or bare hands (smashing them into walls!). But this spree didn't last, as he was violently shot dead. It looked awful. I continued the fight, until only a black kid aged 8-10 was left... he was armed too, and kept shooting at me. He left me no choice. I shot him in the head. It was a mess. I had a bit of a mental breakdown, asking the dead kid why he forced me to do this.

A group of people, including me, running. It was night? We run past a trailer/RV. In third person, I saw a man I recognized, perhaps a former colleague, walking through some curtains into his trailer. He engaged several persons in a gunfight. He fought valiantly, but was shot from the side and killed.

War scene. I was in a trench, preparing for an upcoming battle along with the other soldiers. The weapons were guns I recognized from the Vietnam era, an M14 and an AK with collapsible stock. The battle started when we charged the enemy. Now it gets weird. I may have died a few times, but every time the scene "reset" to just before the battle. Like in the movie "Edge of Tomorrow". I remember being crouched in the mud, seeing death and destruction all around me, and feeling... traumatized? In a later attempt, I think I tried to escape the scene. I'd actually memorized where most of the hostiles would be coming from, and what they would try if they spotted me. I entered a small warehouse-like room, and saw two hostiles. They were talking and hadn't spotted me yet. I tossed a grenade. That's the last I remember.

I'm boarding an airplane. I suddenly realize I don't want to go, or it's going to the wrong destination. I ask the flight attendant if I can still get off, but (s)he says no. We take off while I stumble back to my seat.

Scene with a lot of characters. A massive brawl erupts between various characters. A man restrains a woman onto a table (?) and aims a flamethrower at her, clearing intent on burning her. I attack the man to save her. Then, a female orderly (from a mental hospital?) who looked a bit like a fat nun, was furious at me for using violence. Still pissed off (and knowing I was in the right to use force, seeing as how the man I attacked was about to burn someone to death), I hit her in the face. Hard.

I was Googling REDACTED with my mind (a controllable hypnagogic hallucination), to find out who REDACTED's significant other is. I only found the (useless) Dutch version of Wikipedia, which didn't have what I wanted to know.

In another scene, I'm in the middle of a fight between two rival groups of super-powered mutants. One group of mutants even had tails (!!). At some point, I forced a guy to the ground, and stabbed him in the face and forehead a pair of scissors. It went through his skull. I was furious, and kept stabbing him again and again, and again... even after he was obviously dead.

I'm with REDACTED in an outdoors area, like a park. There's a long (white?), wooden gazebo, which is where I was standing. I faced REDACTED (who was on the grass), picked up two ends of electrical wire, and brought the two ends together. I was electrocuted, the electricity traveled through the ground (was it wet?) and also electrocuted REDACTED. He was knocked to the ground. I approached him. Suddenly (still on the ground), he pulled his gun on me. I was glad, because this was a sign his memory was returning (he had forgotten everything, who he was, and that he had a gun). The camera moved elsewhere, and the sound of gunshots sounded throughout the park. I knew he was just popping off a few shots in the air, not at me.

I'm in some kind of hotel room, or rather "hotel apartment", because it had several small rooms linked by a corridor. I was watching REDACTED on TV, and immediately noticed how gorgeous she looked. Like I do in real life, I REDACTED it. I didn't watch much, I had to turn off the device I was watching it on, because it had to recharge. There was another electrical device already recharging (my PS Vita?). Bored, I tried to think of something to do to pass the time. I went to the "TV room". Something else in that room was making a lot of noise (a radio?), and combined with the TV it drove me nuts. So I turned it off.

I'm flying, but I'm being chased by someone (or rather something). I think my pursuer was humanoid, but definitely some kind of monster. It got close. I turned around mid-air (while continuing flight in the same direction) and tossed something in its direction to distract it or slow it down. It got even closer. I managed to squeeze out a burst of acceleration and create some distance between me and it.

I recall a dark room or cellar. There was some kind of invisible (or barely visible) demon/entity in there. I was on a flight of stairs to a higher floor/ground level, backing away slowly.

This one is only fragments. People were cryogenically frozen in a freezer. This had strange effects on them. An old guy was turned into a dwarf or sorts... REDACTED was affected too.

I was lost in a big forest with a bunch of others. The trees were far apart, and there was plenty of light. It was possibly autumn. It's also possible we were only children (aged 10). I walked off to the right, and found a road. We followed it, but it was long, very long. It was possibly a coastal road, following the coastline. We went around a bend, and I could see many miles into the distance. The road stretched on and on, and there were snowy mountains on the other side of the road (the road was between the sea and the mountains). I thought it was pretty, but felt desperate because I was trying to find people. I didn't want to starve.

I was on the roof of a skyscraper. I think I was trying to walk on top of a kind of crane hanging off the building? Suddenly the crane collapsed. I tried to hang on, but the whole thing came down. I fell down the building, but waaaay faster than terminal velocity. It felt like a thousand kilometres per hour. Then I smacked into the ground. I could feel my legbones reaching past my ears, which was definitely not good. Oddly, the "anti-gravity cushion" that normally prevents me from falling to my death in other dreams, failed me!

Very naught dream, starring a very attractive woman I've never seen before. I think she was a long-haired brunette? Started with simply making out, then hardcore XXX.

I was in a dirty room that was partially flooded. Water reached to my knees, or higher. Three bad guys were hidden in cover, and had me pinned down with constant shotgun fire. I crawled around them, staying low in the water, and flanked them. One of them saw me, but it was too late for them. I killed all tree of them. I grabbed one of their shotguns and now wielded one in each hand (I had a shotgun of my own, but a different model).

I found myself at the "headquarters" of the "agency". I don't know, it felt like the CIA headquarters or something, but not the CIA. It had a very "corporate" feel to it. Hard to explain. And there were no windows, and the area was quite dim as a result. My partner (or just a coworker?) was next to me. He was quite a bit older than me. He ran off because he had to do something (use some kind of device on a wall somewhere?). I think we decided to race each other there. I ran so fast, down the stairs (trying to take several steps at once), I think I almost started floating. A typical gravitational anomaly common in my dreams.