whitedreams

*i was at my grandmas house and was sneaking around way passed bed time looking for stuff in a shed that was also alanis morasets editing studio. *instead of softwaret here were tapes and stuff. before hand i wiais at camp pilssburry and we were doing something with a like fight in the wilderness on the rudgged landscape but no one could decide on th eight place. so we kept aimlessley *taking pictures of *shit around us. 2 kids hot in a fight i believe they were both black and there fight did not make any sense. Also i remember being really freaked out about relapsing on like ecstasy then saying well it is only a dream so fuck it and then i dropped some acid and asked daren sabien for some lil pills. he gave em to me but i dont think i took em. weird how i was like semi lucid. it is almost as if i konw that the only place i can relapse is in a dream so perhaps thats wehre i go for that. Wonder what it means

i am recalling many hours after the dream bu its beter to get something in then nothing at all

so i drempt at one point about a cop car that pulled me over. There were kids drinking in the seat next to me. i was worried that the cop would be mad i was driving with kids after 8. The cop ended up prancing around saying threatening things but i got lost in thought and eventually the whole seen dissapatiated. Perhaps more will be revealed to me later

i had a very long dream but dont really remember the whole thing. At one point i was standing on a dock and there was a woman who was from fance or something like that who was shouting insults at me from the balcony of the crew ship. i kept trying to find a way onto to boat but could not. We were in alaska and i laughed when the departed from the dock and the woman shouted "bye bye San Fransisco!" Then the boat was not driven but sucked out into see and i watched as a whirpool funnel vortex sucked the ship underwater and fliipped the thing on itside pouring out tons of people. I thought the woman had gotten what she deserved.
I also recall being in some sort of chucked cheese place but it was like boot camp style and there was a rope hanging down that i climbed up to get into the little cylinder bubble thing. it was really weird.

"Garbage dive and clowns" This was probably one the weirdest dreams I have had in quite some time. To give you a visual I viewed this dream from a movie perspective meaning that there were multiple cuts to various scene. For the majority of the dream I was just an observor watching the events go down, influencing the endings with where every my unawoken mind went. Over the course of the night i woke up twice so emotionally involved in the dream I went right back to sleep hoping to revisit the dream I had awoken from. Luckily i was able to each time

First thing I remember is looking into a home with someone else. Some kid took out the garbage and then began thinking about garbage. Next thing I knew I was in millions of pounds of garbage but it was not the kind all bagged up. I was all squishey and was alive. Felt like I was in a tub full of worms! My companion asked me how much more time till we get to the bottom! I said it will be very soon. Meanwhile unfriendly clowns were holding hostage some of my friends. The clowns had set up an enitre under ground world in which there were doctor clowns, school teachers clown, school kid clowns, librarian clowns, every type of human job replaced with a clown face and human body. They detested the presence of my friends and had tortured some of my friends. Luckily most of the hostages were able to escape and they set up two barracades infront of a doorway entrance into an autitorium. The clowns held there distance as my friends had managed to aqquire guns.*

Meanwhile back at the house I remember listening to a conversation between a young kid and an older adult. The adult was warning the kid not to play in the garbage but the good was friendly but defiant in his beliefs repeating "my uncle has always told me if you are in garbage keep digging".*

In the midst of the garbage I recalled what this young prophet had said and i told my companion of this seemingly profound axiom. We began chanting it and very soon we recahed the bottom of the pile. The garbage was essentially a large vat contained by 4 walls that descended down for hundreds of miles. I did not know where the garbage actually began, only where it ended. I felt my feet dangeling out into the air as my body slid through the rest of the slimey garbage making a thick waterey that resembled that sound of a tounge clicking against a cheek. Finally my head exited through the muck and I dropped about 10 feet into a dull and dark halway. I remember landing with an umph on the hardwood floors.My companion was thankful to be out of the mess and I reminded him to be quiet as there were clowns all around us.

We managed to exit the eerie hallway and make our way into another large hallway swarming with clowns of all sorts. The first type i remember was opening a door in the hallway and seeing a tall and slim woman clown reading a book to a group of young clowns sitting criss crossed on the floor. She stared at me with a deceptive hate in her eyes. The actual seblance of the clown is hard to describe because their heads seemed hollographic, Meaning they switched between the face of a human and that of a clown.

'" come on lets go!" I yelled to my companion. We sprinted down the long hallway slapping and punching the clowns that we passed by. The hallway was full of twists and turns and at every corner we would run into a clown that seemed to be busy working doing things like carrying lots of paper work or drinking a cup of coffe.*

Soon i began to sense we were near my friends as I had multiple flashbacks of them crying out to us from the barracades. we ran through the hall way shoving our way pst multiple clowns until we bursed through a door and found ourselves in a large room filled with hundred of angry clowns. I looked around and noticed one of the barracades. I made a run for it with my commrad right behind me and dove over the barracade into the safety of my friends. "Thank God your here" they said.*

Then I woke up.


Feels like an epic dream that i should write a creative ending for.

for me to love and to give always ...to stop thinking aobut if im going7 t 7be 74taking care of and just realize that i can give and accept what comes back me instead of expecting something because of my own doings. I can reallyt just give and love as friends to enjoy the company of girls and make there day better rather then thinking how can they can make my day better. i love myself and am really neverous cause i feel likeif i mess it up or dont say the right thigns then im not going to be like or accepted. How bout ijust try and do what damien says and completley show my self when asked to and just lead by example and be myself my beautiful cute and funny safe not a fraid to show my confidence maculinity or gir0\\\\\\\\\\\\\feminenes like a pussy cat

well first of all, i remember being on a beach and the waves were kinda sucking me in, and it was realy dark. Then there stufff in the weater trying to pul me under, so i got the hell out of there, because i was lucky enough to see a mutha fucking spot light i crawled out and saw aww these men sleepoing on the ground with guns and other men running by the,. Later in my dream i was getting head from some older chick, and then some weird shit happened and she tried to get me but i was like no i got u and i locked her in a closet nd let her out

i remember being with some crew who was going to san fransisco but first i was with jakie and we got a black and mild. Later i was with others and we went and got weeed, (i was with like britany and all thse other raNDOOM people. after that i went home for a litle bit then they picked me bac up nd all was well

the last memory i recall was walkin with my friend yu yu who asked if he could slelep over cause his dad diedd. id say okay nd after we got him out of triumph acadeemy. I was in the car with ryan nd we nh walked sispped off. i also orderred jot chocolate with my mom

the dream was that i punched some lady in the face at a job after doing a bunch of other illegal shit and i was put outside in a jail cell witha braclet shelly dorve by with matt nd all his friends and then matt lit of all these firworks that didnt do much and i was free but not big eenough deiversion was saet.e

i drempt that i was in lego land againa and when you walked in there were like these things of water u dip ur hands in to clean them. I also drempt i thought i had a relapse earlier on and ifreaked the f out. OO no i got it i was like back at triumph but instead we all slept upstairs in an attic nad people would throw shit at the other side of the street i left the room of darkness nd asked if anyone else wanted to come , no takers. i remember being with like maggie or someone nd then later some mom was yelling at me bout shit haha

today i drempt that i was in some sort of schoolwith a lot of people i liked then my friend katie rode into class on a horse nd i thought it was hella normal. Later this ladey had a gun pointd at my head and a knife at my throught , she stabed me in the wrist and shot me down my mouth i asked help from suzie and my grandma was there we started driving to hospital then some how i ended up driving on the bay bridge with some kids. We were at some party on a boat and my dad was in the water of the ocean. I went into the water and there were all these kraw dads, and one grabed onto my and slenches it claues in. I swam for a lil and said fuck this thing nd broke from it and started trying to beat the thing up. And later the dream changed.

so basically i started my dream out in an all out war with someone and i hadthe powers of a sourcerer. eventually i got tired and i remmembered just getting school and driving home to bullshit with friends. not too much later we retruned t oschool and we werte released for not diodddddddddddoing any thing rong

i was with my friend and we were meeting someone who uses a lot at like a lake or somthing. It was very beautiful place we were in but we were so obsessed in the nature of the conversation we did not ennjoy the place. Back at my house my mom found the bag of weed i tried to explain matt wass buying it nd i dont no what she thought cuz some random guy started baboling on about additive sin caffeine

I drempt that i was in charge of heading and taking people to meetings. I remembering wlking to take my dad to a drem in millbrae and we walked through a hotel and there was a buffet but we ke kept walkinga and did not stop

MAYBE ITS CAUSE my names matthew and im and alchohalic addict and i got 6 months that i keep haivng the dreams. Last nigyht i drempt i was at a hotel smoking a blunt with some kid named jimy and i also wanted a black and mild its prolly cuz of that shit well im like i smoked a black so mine as well have a blunt . its okay it is scary feeelings felt in dreams that will keep me sober