Xanous' Dream Journal

I'm not going to add this to my count as this wasn't a proper LD but man... This is the sort of thing I want to talk about but no one seems to understand or relate to.
My LD count has been low lately. Probably most due to my horrible sleep schedule and busy life right now. Not sure it will ever slow down. Given what happened last night, I might just need a bit more focus and some regular WBTB to over come my dry spell.

Anyway, once again, it was within the first 30-60 min of sleep. I found myself in a familiar dream state where I struggle to move. It wasn't long until I realize I was transitioning to OBE/dream state. At some point I just laugh out loud. My voice sounded hoarse and strange. I say, "Ok. I give up." I relax and then things get so amazingly trippy its hard to describe. Of course, I get the usual vibrations but just in my arms and hands this time. My body begins to have a floating sensation and I drift around a jumbled up visual field. I try to let the dream form but as it does I keep getting visual overlays of random things (shapes and textures) and I cant seem to get my body to grip to anything solid. The entire time I have audio distortions very similar to the times that I used to trip on mushrooms. There was a deep, wet, squishy, liquid sound with high pitch tones going up and down. Very cool, familiar and trippy. It's all so hard to describe but I really enjoy the hell out of this kind of thing and it all happened naturally. Unfortunately, it only lasted about a minute or two before I woke up but I'm glad I was able to remember it so clearly.

By the way this so of thing has been happening off and on for a few months. Mostly they are junk dreams, or pre dreams, early stages of sleep that I become aware in. Most of them are not that interesting. I should probably start trying to wake back to bed and take advantage or whatever is going on with me lately. Maybe it's just mild sleep deprivation and nothing really special...

550 DILD? 11PM


Mildly lucid some how. Spend a lot of dream time just running around doing random thing. I cant quite recall much. Then I suddenly become quite a bit more lucid which brings me back to bed. FA maybe? I wasnt fooled. I get familiar lucidity vody sensations. I love it and I become euphoric. There is a window up against the foot of the bed. I sort ooze out and float through. There is a spark of fear like something is after me. I decide to turn and face it. Nothing. I smirk and give the darm room the double birds. I roll over. I land on long grees grass. It feels night. Hear a distance rumble of thunder. Lightning flashes. Its all very tranquil. I stand and look in the distance. There a huge snowcapped mountains. Something makes me remember a private thought. I decide to try an experiment that never got me far. I call out to god to meet me. I get too excited and my voice sounds too real.

I am fooled by FA. I think I must have talked in my sleep. Maybe? My wife is talking something. I think its probably because I spoke out. Something touches my hands. I wake up wondering if that sensation of touch was real. I look at the time. I have been in bed for only. 30min!

#549 - DILD - 10:30PM

The beginning is unclear but I am in an area like some sort of odd indoor playground. There are huge cubes stacked up and I am trying to get a tote down to the floor. I am having a hard time so I decide to fly down. I reach out and concentrate and summon some white angle wings. I toss them on my back and feel them as I flap down. It's more of a swimming motion than flying.

When I land I realize what I had just done and become lucid. I turn around and see a pretty woman sitting in that distance smiling at me. I return her smile and decide to impress her by doing various acrobatic tricks. I float up onto another large cube and do a back flip then a hand stand but I let myself fall flat on my back for fun and for the feel of it. I stand up and look at her. She is still watching but not reacting. I wanted her to join me. I decide to get close to her. She feels familiar. I get the sudden urge try to kiss her but something odd happens. The dream morphs and I am face first into some sort of clear plastic cylinder. I say yeah, "That's not the same (ass kissing)". I toss the thing aside and lean in again but this time I am face first into some sort of dish will pelleted pet food. I look up at her feeling confused. She laughs and says, "I need got to let you go." That phrase hit me deeply. Now realize something meaningful might be happening here. I say yeah, "Me too." At that moment I feel a shift in my mind pulling me to waking consciousness.

It wasn't until after I woke up who the woman was in my dream. If anyone could actually visit me in a shared dream it would be her. This is the second time this has happened that I can recall but, it's been many years since. The first time was a real nightmare right after I broke up her and boy was she pissed. I don't know if she really visits me like this. Of has this kind of dream power over me but it sure feels like it's possible. Hopefully she really did let me go this time. She scares me.

#548 DILD 4:10AM

I am in Texas at the old place I lived in when dad was pastor at that church. The church looked different; more like a metal building than anything. Some reason I am sleeping on the ground next to it. I kept looking at how the bottom of the wall was just a 2x4 laying flat on the ground. I kept thinking that's not going to last.

Next thing I know I am walking around in a version of the house my wife bought before we got married. I notice that my feet are not hitting the floor. I start focusing on that and quickly realize I can make myself levitate. I am so excited. I gradually gain control of it more and more start quickly floating from room to room. I show off to my wife and son. My son is excited about it but I my wife is it like "That's cool. I'm going to the store." I spend some time floating around and over my son. He's enjoying and playing with me. I follow my wife outside talking about how I now have a superhero power and start thinking how this will change everything. Then it dawns on me this might just be a dream. I do a nose plug and blow through. I am actually disappointed at this point. I stop levitating and walk back in the house. My mom's sister and her husband pull up in the drive way. I am surprised to see them. Uncle keeps complaining about some guy on the highway during their drive. I'm not sure exactly what he's going on about but he keeps calling the guy a "stupid fucker". This is so out of character for him that I start laughing. We walk inside. And I start preparing food at the stove. Everything is so extremely vivid and lifelike that I do another RC. This time I poke my right finger into my left palm. For some reason there is a pill bottle on my finger for a fraction of a second. I note how odd it was but decide to try again. This time my finger morphs all the way through. There is a strange sensation in my hand and I see my finger coming out the back. Really weird. I look back at my uncle who has been watching with disinterest. Now that my attention is back on him, he immediately goes back to calling that guy a stupid fucker. The way he keeps saying it just weird and goofy. I mock him, repeating how he's saying it, and begin laughing again. Finally, just to get him to stop saying that, I ask him what the guy did that was so bad. At that moment I have a dream-shattering thought. Maybe too much awareness? I know that his response will make no sense because nothing really happened. I quickly force that idea away and listen. Uncle says "Weeeell... It's because he..." The dream fades. That thought, still lingering, did me in. Maybe it's for the best since my recall has been shit lately. I wake up.

#547

I wasn't sleeping well and eventually fell into lucidity. I vaguely recall being is some unstable dream environment and became aware. It went straight into OBE mode but DEILD and WILD have been my focus lately. It was realt OBE because there were some fake vibrations and a too quick exit into an unfamiliar place. For some reason it reminds me of my brothers house. None of it matters because as usually I'm just really happy to be lucidity. I should I'm "LUCID DREAMING BABY!." I pause for a moment wondering if I said that in my sleep because I can still hear my wife's snoring while I'm dreaming. I try no to think about that too much and decide I want to phase out the window. Its really solid at first and for half a second I question if I am really dreaming. Nonsense. I push harder and the glass stretches and I pop through. Unfortunately I I find myself back at the start of the dream. I rush forward back to the window again, pop through and come right back to the start. I decide I'm not supposed to go outside so I explore the house. All the rooms are empty and everything get really glitchY. I shout again, "IM LUCID DREAMING BABY". Then it all goes to black and I wake up.

#546 DILD Early

This is pretty much a garbage dream but I think it's worth making an entry.

I am walking around in some building with many halls and doors. I notice the dream gets dark and I feel sluggish for no reason. I feel afraid at first but then I remember this is common in dreams and become lucid. I tell myself to relax. I wake a little to SP. My wife's arm keeps hovering over my face (hallucination). I try to bite at it to make it go away then my head starts shaking violently. The effort of it all brings me out of it and I wake up.

#545 WILD and DEILD chain 5:45am

I do a quick WBTB and focus on WILD by putting my awareness on a spot on my forehead. There was probably some loss of awareness but as things start getting dreamy and I manage to bring myself back. There was little to no vibration this time; if any at all. Just a slight feeling of a chemical change in my head. I exit
I walk around the house a bit and remember I wanted to put my VR headset on in a lucid so I appear in the back room and quickly put it on. One screen was green and the other red for a moment and I worry that I will had some garbage visuals and lose the dream to darkness. Instead of letting that thought take root, I say, " Common. See! Really look and see."
I am now in a vividly colorful jungle looking at various colored poison dart frogs. The more I look at them the more they are morphing into snakes. I don't know if I'm weirded out or just want to keep the dream moving along but, I decide to just bite ones head off and walk away.
Suddenly I am now having sexy time with my wife and I lose my focus. However, there is very little sensation.

I wake a little and DEILD. Definitely no vibration. The dream just forms and I'm lucid but not sure how locked in I am so I kind of let the scenario play itsself while I ask the DC dumb questions. It rarely give anything interesting and I'm not sure why I wasted LD time on it. Still interesting I suppose.
Anyway, its some woman talking to me and I'm stupidly taking DJ notes so I'll remember what she's saying. Of course I don't recall much. She's going on about Dr. Dodope (or something like that) taking her car keys and then getting suspended for it. I keep asking her questions to lead her on to finish telling me her story but none of it makes a whole lot of sense. I keep writing notes.

I wake a little. This time I remember my dream goal and visualize walking around the house once more. Once I'm in the dream (zero vibration or feeling of change) I start transforming into a werewolf by the front door. I see my hand change and I feel my hind legs change and grip the floor behind me. I start making the motion of running on all fours like an animal. I can feel it but the visual of the dream is stuck still at the front door. I growl a deep monstrous growl to get the dream going but it doesn't work. I start howling instead but I'm still stuck. Then I wake up and think I should probably write some of this down.

I end up having to get up and go to the bathroom for a bit. I lay back down to WILD again. I have a few close moments of success but I lose my focus and have non lucid dreams the rest of the morning

#544 DILD 11:30PM

I somehow become a substitute mail carrier. I am worried because I have no idea what Im doing. I drive away in the mail truck but someone is yelling at me to stop. I ignore it at first but they say stop or we'll shoot. I stop and they say to check in. I get really confused because they say no here but up there where I was heading. I got through a gate and down a street. I stop at some factory looking building. I worry about what could happen next but I go in. Two guys who just look like a couple of slackers approach. They ask something about checking in. I say yes. We have some conversation but I get the idea I have to wait for someone or something. I see Newman from Seinfeld. He's talk to someone else as he passes. I say hello Newman. You're not getting your mail today you little bitch. He ignores me and walk away. I say I guess he didn't hear me. I tell one of the guys it much be hard delivering mail to someone you hate. I think of a few people thar won't get mail if I see it.

I decide to wonder around a bit and find myself it a room that I think looks like a version of David's house. I think we'll I'm here. Finally came to Michigan. Then it dawns on me whats happening and I instantly become lucid and filled with excitement and joy. I shout hey David this is a dream. We're dreaming dude get in here. Some reason I want to share this lucidity with someone real or not. I look around trying to find him but he doesn't show. I keep yelling for him but the dream goes dark.
I flap my arms and fly up a little just to get some sensation. I focus on visualizing his face but only a picture of him appears of him smiling at me in a goofy way. Then the one picture morphs into a 3 x 5 grid of the same. The whole thing is really trippy and I just laugh at it all. I wake up.

#543 - DEILD (2x chain) - 4:30AM

I took 400mcg Huperzine-A with 600mg Choline during WBTB

I tried I WILD and catch myself after having dosed off. I relax into the vibrations and then roll out of my body. I am blind and I make my way out the back door. The air feels cool but I still cant see so I crawl around. Then my dream eyes actually open but I am fooled into a sort of FA. I am starting at some grass growing in the driveway and I think I am actually sleepwalking. I feel embarrassed and look around to see if the neighbors noticed me. I heading inside and see both my dogs are running around lose so I let them in the house. I lay back down in bed and my wifes family show up. I'm like wtf guys I'm sleeping. They just got back from a trip and want to show my wife stuff they bought. I am super pissed off that they are ruining my sleep. I am trying to lucid dream and it's 3am and they have the light on just talking loud. I say some really meant things until they finally leave. I start to worry that I made them too mad. I said I should have just taken what happened and been calm about it. Then I remember it's ok because none of this really happened. I remember this is actually a typical dream after WBTB and LDS. That thought wakes me a bit.

I DEILD again. Vibrations. This time I shoot straight up like a rocket. I enjoy floating in the darkness for a second then I ground myself. My dream eyes open again. I see a green field with trees but its a low res video game. I think I must be looking at a TV screen in waking life. Maybe I actually opened my eyes. I close them.Then I remember the last dream. I remember that sometimes opening my eyes in the dream state feels physical but its not. Plus its getting me out of the darkness. I open my eyes again noting how how physical is seems but I trust myself and just do it. I am back in the video game. I start walking forward. Since I am in a video game I decide to look at my hand like I do in VR. They look dark and undefined. Ok whatever. There are some hooded figures that look like they are casting spells at me. None of this scene is particularly interesting so I just rush forward until it all goes away. I don't even notice the scene fading out.

I am in a large open area but it really dark. There is a floating female head in front of me (think Gorn). Her face is attractive so I kiss her quickly on the lips. She smiles. Then another appears more on my left. I kiss her too but then she bites my chin. I am shocked and pull her bottom jaw open. Her jaw splits in two. I say eew and toss it away. The first head moves to my right side and now I am standing in a restaurant. I see Alyssa Millano sitting at a table having a conversation. She wont look at me so I do something to get her attention. I see an empty dinner plate on the table. I notice its a deep blue color. I put it on my head and balance it. I say look I am balancing a plate on my head look. Alyssa continues to ignore. The floating head laughs. The plate falls off on a table full with a group of people on my right. The plate rolls of and hits the window but nothing breaks. Alyssa ignore me still so I sit next to her and put my arm around her. Nothing. She is just talking way to some woman across the table. I poke her ribs. She jumps a bit and her voice cuts off for second but she still continues to ignore me. I poke her a few more times noticing how real it all feels. She still wont even look at me so I grab her face with both hands and force her to look at me. I ask her something I don't recall. Her answer is gibberish but I feel satisfied I got some response. I move on. The floating head now a permanent companion follows me.

I see something strange on a mans table. I ask the floating head what is THAT? It look like octopus tentacle with bits of blue and green. When I get closer is changes to some sort of raw meat that doesn't look all that odd. It's package like it was just purchased from a grocery store but its warm and looks like it's going bad. I apologize to the man and tell him it looked like he had something crazy on his plate. I wake up.

I make a DJ entry and use the bathroom. I WILD a few times but at soon as I latch onto the start of the dream I lose it all. I finally give up and sleep the rest of the morning uneventfully.

#542 DILD 9PM

I'm not putting this on my count but it's interesting and worth posting. Fuck it. A lucid is a lucid.

I am feeling lost in a large building. Reminds me of some large church I visited in the past and so that's what I think it is. The rooms are really dark and I feel like I may have drank too much. The more I worry about it the more drunk I feel. I think I really just need to get out of here and go home. Then something about how unstable the dream is and the way the rooms just keep turning into large a maze-like labyrinth triggers lucidity. I start laughing out loud. Party because of relief and partly because I am mildly lucid.

Now I am laughing while laying in bed. I wonder if my wife can hear me but I also feel like maybe I am still dreaming. I am not sure so I laugh out loud some more. I note how odd it sounds and start to realize but I am suddenly awake. I lay there for a bit to try DEILD but I start to get excited thinking about it and wake up.

I was shocked to realize I had only been in bed for 30min!

#541- DEILD approx 2am

I don't remember the first part but I have FA. There are double windows at the foot of the bed and wife is on wrong side. The windows are open and a cool breeze is blowing in. It feels nice and I am relaxed and content to just lay there.

I "Fall back to sleep" I am in a room but it kind of dark. There is a white ceiling fan. I start to feel a little scared of the dark so I go to turn on the light. The pull chain feels like its not clicking the switch but it also feels like the chain is stretchy. Something clicks and there is only a small spot of light on the ceiling fan where the light kit should be but its missing. I pull another chain and the fan blades start but they warp and make odd sounds. I can feel the breeze from it and I feel like the blade will get me so I turn away.

I have another FA back in the odd bedroom with double windows. This time the breeze is much stronger and the curtains are blowing out. I think this must be why I dreamed about the ceiling fan. I hear distant crack of thunder and see a flash of lighting then I hear the sound of gentle rain. I think its good we are getting rain since its been so dry. I consider closing the windows in case we get wet but the breeze and sound of the storm is so nice I decide to wait.

I wake for real this time but I feel so still and relaxed that I go for DEILD. After a few seconds vibrations start. I consider sitting up but I feel unsure if I am totally in yet so I decide to roll. For some reason that feels like that safer bet. I feel the stretch and the familiar separation then softly hit the floor. As a type of RC I decide to jump and test gravity. I open my eyes and spring up with my feet hard. I raise up to the ceiling and gently float down. It's a cool effect so I do it one more time.

Suddenly there are flashes of light and I see this strange demonic shadow thing on the wall. It flickers in and out of existence and moves rapidly back and forth. My throat closes up with fear and I gasp. I start to panic but I decide to try to calm this down a bit. I stand my ground in a defensive stance and say, "NO! No you stop it." Maybe my heart was racing too much or me saying stop it was taken as stop everything but, I am suddenly back in bed wide awake. I think to do a nose plug RC before making an entry on my phone DJ.

#540 - DILD - 1:20AM

I was in some new area of work. I was off the clock apparently and for some reason I was sending a snapchat of the place. When I played back the snap I realized it wasn't quite the same snap I took. It kept changing each time. I try swiping back but these creepy dudes are in it looking at me crazy. I comment about that to my wife who is now with me. Then a creepy woman is with them doing the same thing. I say who is she?!? Then an attractive woman taking me by the hand at the beach. Ok wait a minute this is silly. I am dreaming right now! I shout oh my god I am dreaming right now! I'm way too excited and I'm jumping up and down. My son is there laughing about the whole thing. I see my wife lounging on a couch looking at her phone. I say babe I am dreaming! ok here's what happened. I was looking at my snapchat and it kept changing. Do you know why? Because I am dreaming right fucking now! She just only smiles. I remember she's just a dumb DC so I say ok bye. She then says bye like she is pissed off. I don't want to leave my DC wife like that so I hug her and say I love you so much. That's when I wake up.

DEILD - 330am

I am partially awake. I randomly decide to DEILD. I feel brief vibrations and focus on in that and relax deeper. My phone alarm goes off for some reason. I turn it off without waking myself too much. One of the cats paws at me from my night table. I decide to ignore it. Nothing is going to keep me from entering the dream. My wife says something. Fuck it. I ask her what. She mumbles something.

I wake surprised that I didn't get lucid there. The transition was so smooth or I was never really awake to begin with. I don't know which. I don't move and try DEILD again. I come to a stop sign on a familiar road. This time I know I am dreaming. I am not sure what I want to do so I focus on on the visuals. I lean out of the car and look at the texture of the asphalt. I pour myself out of the window and flow under the car and then around into the grill and then back under the car. I lose visuals so I focus on physical sensation. I roll on my stomach and feel the road under me. I feel sensation on my lips.

I up really early in the morning but I am full of energy and ready to do stuff. I leave the house and quickly find myself in a church. There are several people there. I see a woman and I am going to tell her that I am ready to do some work but I don't know who needs help. Suddenly I feel really odd. My eyes don't focus well. There is an odd sensation of pressure in them. I tell the woman that I might be too tired for this. I wonder around and walk through a few rooms. There are other people around but not paying me much attention. I see a coffee pot and think maybe some caffeine will help but the pot is empty. I decide to just leave the building.

When I get to my car, I feel bad that I showed up and then just suddenly left like that. I say to myself that it doesn't matter. I don't anyone will even really remember or care. It's like a dream. Wait a minute this is a dream. I start the car up and go for a joy ride. For some reason the area reminds me of a somewhere I used to live but it doesn't look the same. There aren't really any roads. I end up crashing through yards and construction areas. Really random and confusing. I crash the car and decide I want to get another one. I see a nice truck and I hop in. I notice the leather seats feel really slick as I start it up. I see a road out that leads to a highway. I feel excited to get out on an open road. I make my way there weaving through traffic, going faster than I could in waking life. When I am out on the open road I drive as fast as the dream will let me weaving through traffic, really enjoying myself.

I decide to stop focusing on driving so much and just watch what the dream generates as I go. It become more of an amusement ride now. I see lots of random people doing really random stuff running here and there. I notice two cowboys spazing out in a inhuman way. The ride takes me right into them and for some reason I bite one on the shoulder. It feels like I bit the blanket. I see a lot more random stuff that I can't really recall or make much sense of. I feel like I have been dreaming a really long time. This though causes me to wake up.

#537 DILD 12AM

First I am fishing in a pond and checking the minnow traps. I see really odd looking fish. Then, I am in a version of our extra room with the aquarium in it. The tank is extra large and so tall I can barely reach in to feed the fish. I keep noticing how strange all the fish look and how they keep changing shape and color. There is one fish outside of the aquarium swimming in the air. I recognize this dream sign and become lucid. I taking all the visual details until the dream fades. I feel like I am not awake yet so I visualize swimming and find myself in the aquarium with the fish for a while then in a swimming pool just enjoying the effortless motions of swimming. There is suction like an untoe from waves. The visuals fade again and now I am having some sort of FA. For some reason I try to conjure up some dream sex but it gets award and that's not what I really want. Then I am in Walmart straight shirt-cocking it. I see B and his wife going to bed in some part of the store. The lighting is dim and I run around trying to hide from them in the shadows even though I know it doesn't matter that my lower half is naked. I wake up.

#536 Random DILD in the first 30 to 45mins of laying down for the night.

I have a false awakening and start to go outside. It is extremely windy and the storm door slams back on me. It sort of doubles and starts to fall apart. I say I am a software developer. I don't have time for this (Uh what that's not true) I step back and close the main door but I can't because that door is now coming off the hinges. I see the screws and everything fall out. I'm like what the hell? Then it dawns on me this HAS to be a dream. I am quite relieved. I say oh thank the good lord (weird I am atheist).

I turn away from the door mess but realize my hands are down the front of my hands and stuck to the waist band. I struggle to pull them out but can't. I am now aware that the TV is on. Someone is making a horribly creepy whining/moaning sound. reeeereeereeee. I hate is. This is some Stephen King shit. I say Oh shut up. SHUT UP STUPID TV!. It won't stop. Now I realize I am letting the dream get me emotional. I relax myself and begin the metal process of just letting it all go and imagine none these problems are happening. I guess I relax too much because I quickly wake up. I lay still for a moment hoping DEILD but I am too awake for that.