Xanous' Dream Journal

#521

Was hurting so I moved to the couch. It was storming and every little noise kept waking me up. I eventually had a spontaneous OBE. I willfully drifted off the couch and into the kitchen. I enjoyed all the sensations as usual but was very aware of my open mouth breathing. I tried to stablize the dream more by crawling. Some woman walks by and I trip her by grabing her ankle and pushing on the back of her knee. Then I am floating over my dog laying asleep on the floor. I hug her. A noise wakes me up.

#520 - DILD? DEILD? - 1:25AM

I have to keep this brief but this dream was super long detailed. I didn't leave myself time to type this up properly but I want to get it in before it fades. Please excuse the typos.


I am driving in a familiar dream-scape that I seem to visit a lot. I wake briefly and find myself right back in the dream but fully lucid. I am still in the car so I try to drive but it's stuck in reverse. I feel a little panic but realizing its only a dream, I relax. There is a falling sensation as the car goes really haywire now. I am spinning out of control but the car finally straightens. I grab the wheel and pull up like its an airplane we I fly for a few moments. The distance is foggy and white like there is not enough computer power to render the horizon.

The white envelopes me and I am walking now. The only thing I see is some strange stones so I tap out a beat on them with my shoes to try to ground myself. It works. My son is now with me. I decided to play with him and act silly like we go a lot. Running around and shouting nonsense.

Then for some reason we start play boxing but it gets really physical. I end up punching as hard as I can. He distorts like hes made of rubber and flies away but instantly comes back for more. My younger daughter joins in and the same happens to her. I feel bad about this and want a real fight so I walk away and shout obscene things in order to conjure a real tough guy. Some reason short and fat Cindy from work appears . I go to punch her but she vanishes. I then see T but the same happens to her. I run away shouting again for a challenger but I see a bunch of junk food in the kitchen and binge. It all taste rotten so I stop. I open the fridge and start shouting pudding cup until I wake up.

#519 - DILD - 5AM

I have to make this entry short but there wasn't a much to the lucidity anyway. It was good to break such a long dry spell. I was focused on DEILD and had a few mini awakenings which triggered a DILD. This style has done well for me in the past and I think I'll stick to it even if it does hinder dream recall for non lucids.

I am in some Colosseum in the desert. Some sport like soccer. It seems like we were driving cars. At the end the judges decided the score not based on number of goals. They declare a tie and many people complain. I chat to a woman about being in a foreign land. I leave the area through a huge crowd of people. Basil is walking with me. He photo bombs several people and even is dressed different to match at times. Suddenly, it becomes hard to walk. Basil makes a strange comment about it and all of it triggers lucidity. It gets easier to walk and I start yelling to hear my dream voice so loudly (always a favorite). I get Basil to yell too. I sort of believe he is really in my dream with me and I tell him we are dreaming hoping he will be lucid to. He seems to get it but them he leaves me. It get really hard to walk now and I drop to my hands and knees. I struggle against it but the feeling increases and it now feels like gravity has shifted so that instead of crawling I am climbing. I get outside and try to fly away. I watch the ground drop away but the dream is breaking up and I feel like I am about to wake. I relax and free-fall for a bit. I close my eyes and meditate for a little bit. I lose lucidity as I open my eyes and find myself sitting on the ledge of the rooftop. I jump down and find a document from work and hand it to the appropriate person. I wake up.

#518 - IDWILD - 2:30PM

I guess by now these In-Dream-Wake-Initiated-Lucid-Dreams shouldn't really surprise me (a bit of an oxymoron I suppose). I'm sure I've said this before, but I feel they more closely fit the category of DILD or DEILD because, I probably am already dreaming when I start them. However, sometimes I really don't recall what started them so it's hard to say, but it always feels like a real WILD. Usually I have a non lucid dram sequence with some kind of back story, but other times, like last night, I have no recall of what triggered it. Are they random or are they intentionally started after a brief awaking? Perhaps, it's linked to my history of waking in sleep paralysis that I have so often turned into a gateway. Sometimes I just don't know. I don't have a lot of LD's these days for lack of effort, but I haven't abandoned the practice completely so, I take what I get. Anyway, I am hesitant to try to start a new term, but IDWILD really seems to be a thing for me so I'm calling it that for now.This dream could have been awesome, but unfortunately, when you share a bed, there are external factors at play.

I find myself in a typical WILD transition. I have separated easily but it's dark. I try clapping my hands repeatedly and the effort and feeling of it makes the dream more vivid. The lights come on and I float around my bedroom and house shouting with excitement to be having another lucid dream after such a long period of time. I start to settled down and decide what to do, but a noise wakes me up.

I tap my wife to stop snoring and intend to make an entry in my DJ but I falsely do it in another jumbled dream sequence. I wake again note the time. I roll over and pass out for good. At this point I'm not even sure if my wife even snored of if it was a FA. I forgot the tricky nature of these altered states of consciousness and dreaming. Maybe next time I'll be more vigilant.

#517 - DILD - 2:30AM

I have an anxiety nightmare early in the night about rats. I do a mini WBTB and fall asleep with my intention set. My last thought was about my LD goal.

That same dream repeats itself, but this time there is no anxiety because I recognize it almost immediately and become lucid.
I turn away from the rats scene and turn down a hallway in some way better version of my house. Everything is brightly light.
Because I am always amused how realistic my shouting is, I yell out, "Hey! Hey! HEEEEYYYY!"
I suspect all this shouting will conjure up a DC. I turn into a door way into a bedroom. I see my wife is scantily clad. I notice no bra under her thin shirt. I say something to her, I don't recall. All I remember is that she has a really strange reply. She gives me a high-five and attempts some strange secret handshake I lose track of it.
Instead of getting caught up in it I remind myself by telling her that this is a dream, "I am dreaming. This is a lucid dream."
She smiles.
I then tap her once on each boob and say, "I'll be right back."
I turn to a window in the room and phase outside. I recall my goal, inspired by TWD, to ride a tiger.

I wonder around my neighborhood. Again, enjoying the sound and feel of dream shouting, I call out for a tiger. After a moment a large, dog-sized version of my childhood pet cat appears. The orange tabby reminds me of the cat I once named Tigger. I take a brief second to appreciate this memory, but this isn't quite what I want. I turn away down the street and try to remember the name of the tiger from TWD. The closest I get is Shebra, but I now know that what I meant was Shiva. It's OK my dream tiger can be Shebra if I want.

After some walking and shouting for Shebra, I find her sitting and waiting. She's about the size of my Great Pyrenees but that doesn't stop me from trying to ride her. I get on her back and wrap my hands around her neck. She stands and carries down the street. Though see feels like she has gotten quite a bit bigger is really just feels like I am hugging my own dog. I am a little disappointed. I see some kids playing with an young woman, maybe still in her teens. I notice her shirt has an 80's design and reads, 'LOVECRAFT'. I ride away as I gradually wake up.

It's probably meaningless coincidence, but I found this after googling 'lovecraft tiger'

Little Tiger

Little Tiger, burning bright
With a subtle Blakeish light,
Tell what visions have their home
In those eyes of flame and chrome!
Children vex thee - thoughtless, gay -
Holding when thou wouldst away:
What dark lore is that which thou,
Spitting, mixest with thy meow?

#516 - OBE - 3:00AM

I find myself just chilling in a quasi-SP space in deep thought. Suddenly it occurs to me to try to have an OBE. I feel vibrations as I deepen my relaxation and focus my awareness. In a few seconds I transition and swim away into the void. I need some visualization so I imagine swimming in water. I am in a deep pool with distorted sunlight filtering. A deep feeling of joy and peace washes over me. I stay here for as long as I can. I wake up remembering that we are more than our physical bodies.

#515

Work lets of early. I go outside and there is a full carnival in the parking lot. I see a lot of free food and the rides are free for all employees.

I an in some hallway and there is a dude acting weird in. The keeps making do things I dont like and it creeps me out.

I am at home. I get my gun out and load it. It looks really strange and I feel something is off. It is way too large and made of clear purplish-pink plastic. Some random part breaks off.

I am now outside near a creek. My wife has a very strange Rodney King looking man come visit. Hes weird and I dont like him. I say he has to leave. I still have my gun but i have unloaded so I use it to chase him away. It fires fully automatic. I am shocked that I almost shoot him, but kind of shit I had.

I look at the creek water and notice how trippy it all looks. Lucidity is triggered. I put my face in really shallow water expecting a deep underwater scene but the visuals never materialize. I feel myself floating away. I resist at first but decided to let go. I float way out but something sucks me back to looking at the shallow creek water. The dream is unstable and I almost worry about waking up. I remember worrying about that is a bad idea so I decide to do something else. There is a distorted Asian man on the other side. I fly to him and for some reason I squeeze cheeks. I don't linger. I've got to keep moving to keep the dream going.

There is a lot of random running around that I don't fully recall. I think I should have a goal but I know that if I think about it too much Ill lose the dream.

I end chasing a woman in a motorized wheel chair. I partly morph into my werewolf form and run on all fours. We are in a grocery store. She's a dog now. We slip between shelves knocking products out of the way and knocking people over. Every time I almost catch her I slip on slick tile or tabletops. My paws cant get a good grip and I run in place a lot just like my pets in waking life. There is another dog lounging under my dining room table. I slowly creep under there to talk to it. I wake up before I get the chance.

Not a lucid but possibly precognitive.

Last night I dreamed that I was in some sort of post apocalyptic world with a small group of men and women. We are survivors. I recall feeling vulnerable to some danger; someone or something will come back to kill us. We pack up our things that we have looted over time and need to leave our base/home. We are in some large warehouse looking facility... not sure before or after we leave.

Later tonight, for some reason, I decided to start up season 3 of Last Man on Earth. I was surprised how many elements from my dream matches several of the episodes we watched in waking life. It could all be coincidence, but it's still very interesting when these things happen. I would be nice if my precognitive dreams would be of something that matters and that I know it's precognitive before it actually happens.

#514

This dream is from a last weekend. I don't recall the day or time.

I am walking in town on foot trying to use my phone to call my wife to come pick me up,but, of course, it's not working. There all kinds of strange phone issues typical to dreams. I see my wife drive by several blocks away down a main street. I see my son in the window. I want to run to them to flag them down, but they are so far away. There is a strange zooming morphing effect and I am right there behind, but too late for them to see me. All of this weirdness triggers lucidity, but I still really feel the need to meet up with my wife and son. I decide I can just teleport right there in the car with them. I focus and relax and try to visualize being in the car. I get the physical sensation riding in a seat but the visual environment doesn't change. I slowly wake up.

#513 - IDWILD (In-Dream-WILD)

I am in some strange SciFi dream and sleep lab with a huge viewing screen of some mountainous scenery with some woman. The Doc/scientist gives me a list of items. I read through not sure why I he gave me this. Someone states that its to see if these things will pop up in my dream. We lay down and start to WILD.

I immediately and lucidly transition into another dream which feels just like a real WILD. I am in some version of my house but its way too dark so I phase out a window. My vision is nothing but bright white light for a moment, but I concentrate to see. Quickly, I notice that I am surrounded by deep thick snow. I laugh and play in the snow a bit. I notice my house is almost covered completely in snow but there is also a huge mountain or hill right behind it covered as well. I shout and a small chunk of snow falls. Now I want to see it I can be loud enough to start an avalanche. I shout again. More falls but then it changes course and hits my face. I laugh and shout even louder giving it all I've got. The whole thing comes down on me. I try to move out of the way but I am quickly buried. I struggle a bit but quickly relax because I know this is a dream and I can just make it all disappear if I want. I try to think of something, but suddenly I "wake up" in the dream lab.

I lose lucidity and go back to believing the whole initial scenario (did I ever question it?). I recall the dream in the dream and tell the man that none of those things in the list appeared in my dream.

It's worth noting that I have had two other LDs that I didn't record but have added to my count. They were just my typical OBEs with my normal G-forces and trippy things happening to me. It's still amazing when it happens but I didn't feel the need to DJ; maybe I was too lazy.

#510–DILD-1:30AM

There is a large brown bear that was sort of a pet but it’s now becoming too aggressive. It wants in the house but I wont let it. I see it’s face pressed against the kitchen window then pawing at the back door. It’s going to destroy my house so I decide it’s time to get the hunting rifle. I load strange looking bullets into the gun. I note the bullets look awfully odd but assume it will work. I go out back and see the bear in out field. My kids appear and I tell them Alysha will just have to understand that I have no choice. I aim and the scope looks all weird but I fire anyway. I’m surprised the sound was so quiet. Looks like a miss so I try again. This time the gun fires 5 or 6 shoots at an incredible rate. The recoil throws my off balance. I look in the scope again and the bear is cut into a bloody mess.

I noticed there were some wolves with the bear earlier so I figure I need to see why. I go around front and find a pelt of some animal under the front deck and decide that must be attracting them. I drag the pelt to the road and toss it across into the ditch. I am walking back to the house and spot the bloody bear in the back. I think I should dispose of the carcass as well. That's when I see it get up and start charging at me. I think werebear though its more of a zombie bear. It seems bigger now with massive tusk like teeth. It's charging fast on its hind legs. I am terrified looking for a way out. This is were I suddenly become lucid.

I smile and tell the bear to bring it on while I stand there waiting. When it is close enough I punch it straight in the chest and send it flying high into the sky.

I look down and see the bear charging at me again. It looks more humanoid this time and just as monstrous. I smile and stand my ground. Again I send it flying only to meet another. The next one looks more like a mass of blue plastic that mildly resembles the beast from before. I am still not worried. I put a shoulder down and charge back at it giving it a massive shoulder check sending the beast again high into the sky. I watch it get smaller and smaller. Then it stops, hovers and forms into a ball. I force push it to send it on a little more. There is something like streaks of blue magic like when a Jedi would use force push. I say, "Now your are a balloon." The beast ball calmly floats higher and higher until I can no longer see it. The beast does not return.

I shout, "Whooo Hooo! Yeah! I love this!" I am happy about my victory but also very excited to be in a lucid dream. I start toward my house to find something else to do, but the dream feels finished and I wake up.

I try to recall the dream but quickly find myself in FA. Canis Lucidus is doing dishes, scrubbing one of my pots. Some how the scrubbing action is tickling me and in the FA I wake up laughing because of this. This scene quickly fades and I wake for real.

#509 - DILD - 12:50AM

I am in something that I associate with The Matrix. There is some sort of leech looking thing that I somehow pull out of my body. I know that if I can hold it without breaking the membrane I will stay in the Matrix. I know my environment isn't real and it's a dream but I believe the back story.

I get up off the couch and am supposed to do a simple task of finding some teeth whitening mouthwash. I move into a bathroom that has a lot of items on the counter. While searching I break the membrane of the thing in my hand and know the Matrix will find me. I give up and go back to the couch.

Mary from work is at her desk. She tells me that I still have 15 min. Something about this makes me fully lucid and I get up off the couch again. For fun I go ahead and find the mouthwash. There is a small vial on a TV stand. I take it and taste the cool minty taste and then leave the house.

I am on some countryside and I want to be in a Skyrim environment. The dream fully fulfills this wish. I run through grassy meadows and hillside and take in the vivid detail. For some reason I think I recognize this part from the game and feel happy the dream is taking on so much from it. I enter a shadowy area with a few trees. I have a sword in my hand held up high. I wonder why there are no monsters to fight. Suddenly, a two headed dragon appears. It shoots fire at a tree. I hulk leap at it ready to strike it will a sword, but at that moment I wake up.

#508 - DILD (IDWILDish) - 1:23AM

Started taking a new muscle relaxer for my RLS so I don't have to take Kratom all the time. Dose was cut in 1/4 of 500mg pill. This may or may not have played a part in such a crazy ass dream.

BTW before anyone judges me... I took no sides in the last presidential elections in the US.

I am orbiting Earth in some open glass vehicle with a team of 3 or 4 people. We are talking about a one world government and I suggest we need to all unite but be careful that it's not a dictatorship. I tell them we need a president of Earth and it's needs to purely be a democracy. While we talk I am somehow wrapping saran wrap around the Earth with enormous strips (saving the Earth?).

There's a weird segment where someone gets me tangled in an orb or saran wrap with ocean water around me. I feel claustrophobic so I tear my way out of it. There are then some jumbled images and I am now held hostage by a government entity along with my team. We are some place in the woods and men in black military garb are holding my right arm down on a stone table. I see the others are getting injected with some sort of brown liquid. I look down at my own arm again see a needle so in. Somehow I know it's pure DMT. I panic and ask if I am about to trip. When no one answers, I am assume this is what is really happening to us. I calm myself and decide to try to enjoy the ride rather than have a bad trip in the middle of the woods with my kidnappers. There is a warming sensation in my body and I close my eyes and just let go.

I am in another place and instantly lucid. I know I am in a dream now, but still totally believe the backstory. I am in some abandoned building and it feels like a projection of the future. There is a newpaper of Hilary Clinton's face on the front cover and the headlines read, "QUEEN HILARY". I look and see the others from my team are with me as well as the guy in black that injected us. Someone suggests that this is whats going to happen if we don't stop her. Instead of President Earth we will have Earth Queen Hilary. That's when Donald Trump step past me and gives me a worried and defeated grin. I just kind of roll my eyes at him and walk into the next room.

This is a big open room with a desk and the man in black uniform is standing there like he's about to begin some sort of meeting with us. There is a lot of talking about everything that is happening and I find myself in awe that we are all in a shared lucid dream induced by DMT. I think it must have been a really high dose to make this happen. I make several comments about all of this but everyone is talking over me and I can't tell if they even heard me or whats being said.

That's when I realize that Bazil was with us but for some reason he didn't make it into the dream with us. I say this out loud and then turn to a guy that looks just like Bazil. I suggest that we should share code words and say them back to each other when we wake up to make sure this really happened (Dream logic ). My word for him is 'potato' and his reply is 'death threats'. It seems a big ominous, but I shrug it off. Some younger woman or girl wants in on what we are doing. I tell her that this is getting to be all too much and I want to remember the code words. However she is very persistent so I give in just to keep my mind clear. I tell her that her word is 'carrot', but I am not able to remember her reply because I really start feeling overwhelmed.

Then chaos breaks out and we all start practicing dream control and battling each other. Some woman with purple hair is attacking me from a distance. There is a strong wind and she floats up with purple fire in each hand. I try to use some magic at her first, but I can't summon anything up. I comment how I always have issue with this kind of dream control.

Suddenly, Newt Scamander appears out of a portal to my right and flicks his wand at me. I am hit directly in the abdomen and I laugh. I tell him I can't be hurt in a dream as I run past him teasing him.
Bellatrix Lestrange yells at me from a balcony above and shouts, "How do you know [it can hurt you]? How big is it now?"
Worried, I look at down at myself and wave my hands in a fashion over my crotch to create some sort of spell-canceling effect. I know she's probably just mocking me, but I want to be sure. I bother checking; I just have to believe my magic works, but works just a little differently.

I walk back to the man in black. I notice it's very windy again. The man is still patiently standing there like he's ready to begin something. I say that we need to get to the point of this whole thing because this dream is starting to get a little unstable. The wind increases, but the man just stands there looking at me. Suddenly, the dream dims away and I wake up feeling thoroughly surprised to be in my own bedroom.

#507 - WILD - 2:40AM

I've been having a hard time falling asleep at night so lately I have been trying to WILD at the first of the night, though it's generally a long shot, I figure the worst that can happen is that I actually fall asleep. Last night I was successful, but I think there must have been a period that I lost consciousness for a few minutes.

I realize I am having very early stages of the vibes so I spend some time focusing on it and intensifying it just to make sure. I force myself out of body and there is quite a bit of resistance with strange sucking sounds and a feeling of being drawn back into my body. I push against it and the dream world quickly materializes. I find myself in a very strange version of my bedroom. It's daytime and there is a box fan in a window that doesn't exists in walking life. I naturally want to get outside so I force my body to shrink and contort through a hole in the grill of the fan guard. Then sensation is a bit odd, but I slip right through with little effort.

I try to recall my goal but for some reason I think it has to do with the movie Coneheads. I hear music to Tainted Love and start singing the bits I remember. There are some wilds animals in my field that look like goats at first but transform into white panthers. For some reason I think the goal was to kill one with my bare hands so I quickly pounce on one before it can get up out of the tall grass on the hill. My hand clenches on the panthers throat and I intend to rip open the animal. Suddenly, the panther lets out a horrible whinning wail like a hurt, sad dog. I quickly realize this is not what I wanted at all and back away.

I walk back toward the house and see some outbuilding close by. My older daughter is milling around in there next to an open fridge. I talk to her some and tell her how I'm actually dreaming. Part of me thinks I am in some ethereal form talking to the waking world from the dream state. I turn and see a woman that I think is my wife though she doesn't look like her and her face keeps shifting. I also tell her I am dreaming and she pretends to be excited for me though I can tell she is faking it. I try to think of something to do and complain about not recalling my goal. I ask her what I should do and she says, "Bowling".

I go with that and blind summon a bowling ball. There is a cage in the middle of the floor with chickens and think to bowl into it but then I see my three kids standing in a line so I go for them. The bowling ball knocks to of them over and they ridged like bowling pins. I stare at the odd sight for a moment then wake up.

#506 - DEILD - 12:11AM

I have a moment where I am in between dream and wake. I'm not quite sure if it's another In-Dream-WILD or an actual DEILD. I relax and rely on "muscle memory" to effortlessly transition.

Apparently, my alternate self has been sleeping the back of a 50's model Buick. I am in some show room full of classic cars. Not being particularity interested, I pass them by and enter a big open room like some sort of carpeted gymnasium. The place feels familiar like something from my past. I am so excited to be in a lucid dream that I let out a big whooping shout as I explore the area.

There is a spot with some benches and I see my mother sitting there. Next my younger sister and my brother materialize in adjacent seats. We've had tensions in waking life and I feel the desire to avoid them, but I decide they showed up for a reason. I approach them all and for some reason, I great them with a handshake. No one speaks so I feel like I don't have to deal with whatever my subC is throwing at me. I move on....
"Hey Mike." It's my sister.
I sigh and turn around, "What do you want?"
My sister blandly states that my mother 'really wants my company'. I guess really need to call my parents in waking life. I nod and turn to the spot where my mother is setting, but she has vanished. Sweet, I don't have to talk to some robotic representation of my family anymore. I'm totally off the hook here! As I rush away from the area the dream fades.

I remain focused and transition back into the dream state actively climbing back out that same Buick. This time the cars disappear and I am some cheaply rendered deep space nebula field. I move on and I renter the gymnasium. This time the dream fades for good.