For recall: it just takes practice. I used to use a voice recorder on every waking (and when I'm sleeping alone still do sometimes). Now I go over the dreams mentally, making a list of key words or quick "feelings" like a mental snapshot of each major scene. I try to build this list all night long, and when I come to the computer to write them down I get out quickly all the summary/keywords, then I go about filling them in.
I spend quite a bit of time going over the dreams so that they're cemented in my waking memory. Some nights there's endless detail, some nights it's just "I was in a place with some people." It even varies per dream within one night: some dreams are epic, some revert to vague impressions. It depends how calm you are, how well rested you are, stress-free, etc.
It also depends how much in your life you pay attention to your present moment experiences, moment to moment. Make a habit of always paying attention, reflecting upon, and recalling later your experiences, both waking experiences and dreaming. Do this consistently over time, and waking and dream recall will flourish.
Because if you live on autopilot during the day, you can't expect to have amazing detailed memories of dreams at night, especially considering that dream memories are more fragile.
Sometimes if I can't get anything, I'll just start associating through a list of common dream themes, and see if I get an "AHA" moment or not, and then pursue that line for a while.
But Tony, I thought you've had lucid dreams before, so wouldn't you know how they feel to you?
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