Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

For some strange reason, I was the singer Pink and my abusive father was the wrestler Goldberg. After coming up from a police investigation of an unrelated death in the basement, I hear some commentary about something not being right because she (the "she" being me) left the door open for either the killer or victim (not sure which) but closed the bathroom door quickly behind me and in my "father's" face. Apparently this pointed to abuse, thanks to the dream logic of these police officers.

But once I was in the bathroom, I was sitting on the toilet; having tried to lock the door behind me. But Goldberg pulled it open and was looming over me. Then he grabbed a piece of toilet paper off the roll and spat on it before speaking.

Goldberg [angrily]: "Do you know what we call this when we're over 21?!"
Me [as Pink]: "Uh..." -Not really understanding what he'd just asked.-
Goldberg: "I SAID, DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE CALL THIS WHEN WE'RE OVER 21?!"
Me: "Um...Toilet paper?"
Goldberg: "That's right! And it's gunna stay that way until you get off the heroin!"


I have no idea where any of this came from, as I've never been in an abusive relationship, and have never tried drugs at all. It was rather scary though.

These are from, like, 2 years ago, but they're valid

I am in a warehouse with my english teacher who is making a list of the quality of her ideal man. She says, "My husband must be unconscious, so Sam from iCarly is ruled out because she is only asleep and asleep is not full unconsciousness." I wasn't aware Jennette McCurdy was a man

Another one, me and my sis were getting...a mana-ply...?
Me : Hey, Jessica?
Sis : What?
Me : Guess what we're getting?
Sis : What?
Me : A mana-ply!
Sis : Oh yeah!
Me : Guess what it's better than?
Sis : Huh?
Me : YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY! *points to a group of girls walking past who look like Miranda Cosgrove clones*
I thought I was so bad.

I remember another where David Krumholtz and the guy who plays his father on numb3rs were arguing about the statistics of fish and shrimp...

A trucker pulled over because he thought I was hitchhiking. When I told him I didn't need a ride he laughed and said "You've been sitting on that log for so long you think you are sitting on top of the world." Then he smiled and drove away.

Okay guys, this ones been in my head for over a year now, so the wording it a little out. I can still remember it though;

I've just done something that involves me ending up in a HAZMAT uniform; forget exactly why. I'm in an urban environment crawling with people.
DC 1: Argh! Run everybody! That guy's in a HAZMAT suit, so there must be poison gas!
DC 2: Calm down! Don't worry, the government's here, and if the government is here it must be safe right? *breaths in really deeply*

I recently bumped into a friend of mine in a dream, and he told me that it sucked to be a zombie.

Upon having one of those dreams where I think I'm awake, in my room. Evidently, I wanted to confuse myself.

Me: *wakes up*
Mom: *in my room, turning my lights on for me*
Me: "Am I asleep?"
Mom: "Yes... that's why I turned the lights on"
Me: "You're in my dream?"
Mom: "No, you're awake."

The quote in my siggy. (not that it's weird, just that it makes me happy. ) During a dream where I was at a concert of my favorite band:

JD: I'll see you again on you'r birthday, ok?
Me: Wait... How do you know when my birthday is?
JD: I just know, trust me.
10/18/2008. <3

This is less of a quote, more of a complete lack of common sense, on my part. Basically, there was a toad the size of a human in the Chesapeake bay, and it would jump from the water on land to crush people to death, then back in the water. Then this happened:

Frog: *jumps back in the water*
Me: *jumps in the water, thinking it can't kill me there*
Frog *looks at me like "Yeah. Right" then laughs and extends its tongue at me*
Me:

okay so i finally got a weird thing that a DC has said. the two people are Cindy and Brenda from the Scary Movies. they're on a balcony shooting each other nonstop with uzis. I can't remember word for word, but they were both talking about seeing a movie later, until finally Brenda passes out/away.

Well, while lucid, I was talking with a guy DC, and he says something along the lines of:

"I've lived in every country in the United States".

At first, I thought he meant, every continent in the world, then I was gonna ask him if that included Antarctica...but, then I got what he said...

Originally Posted by I_C_U

I'm a receptionst at a hotel of some kind. A guest comes towards me. He starts complaining with a wierd accent.

Him : '' What is zis hotel ?? I want ma maney back !! ''
Me : '' Why is that, kind sir ?? ''
Him : '' First, I ask fo a sheet ( He pronounced it like ' shit ' ) to sign in za hotel. But no ! Zey say, you wanna sheet, go to za toilet. I clearly want TWO ( He spat ) sheets unda ma bed. ( He wants ' to shit ' under his bed ) Second, I go to za restarantz. Everyone haz a fork ( He pronounced it ' F*** ' ) on is table. I ask a waitrez for a fork, but she juzt zmiles - ''
I interupted him : '' You better not f*** on my table, you son of a b****. '' Then I woke up.

Yeah... nice try...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwz0CzEXUII

Friend: "The zombie things are coming! Hurry up, let's escape on our retarded teenage vehicle!!"
*Spongebob Squarepants drives up on a tricycle*

I see my cousin has had a haircut: a big black, cartoonish pompadour

Me: Nice Hair
Him: Thanks, its my girl friend

I had a rather strange experience after waking in the night and trying to return to sleep. I thought I heard (and saw) someone reading something aloud. He said it in a kind of verse, and I heard:

"Your fishfinger he needs you, thank your diet you need you."

Strange?

There was a commercial on a TV where a lady was blow drying her hair... and then she just flung the hairdryer onto the floor as hard as she could. She picked it up, smiled, and said, "This hairdryer is break-proof!" I left the room the TV was in then, but I heard a guy's voice go, "At least, that was what she thought before it KILLED HER HAND!"

Dream commercials.

Originally Posted by redisreddish

Dream commercials.

LOL! I've had dream commercials before! Old men seem to be in them...One time an old dude with...kinda a combover...is advertising for a straghtener in a white background, another time...removing old tatoos with old men being the ones they were speaking of...and shown.

"Can this be considered lucid? I'm not controlling anything... yet I'm asking myself this... I'll have to remember to post it when I wake up..."

I was with a couple of dcs today, and one of them was saying something to me but i forgot, but then he said, like that shadow behind you. Then something or someone grabbed my arm, it was really hurting, but i was able to break free.

Originally Posted by Adanac

I saw a guy dressed in all green, and I thought to myself, "He reminds me of the forest..." So I walked up to him and asked him, "Have you ever been trapped in a magic forest with seven dancing princesses?"

I became lucid.

Lol, that reads like a koan to me

Not that I'd believe this stuff @ koan, zen and so on, but it really reads like one of those.

I am running towards a fort, and I throw ninja stars, cutting the ropes of some booby traps

I hear someone say: "He's been practicing with perfume for months, he can smell trip-rope from a mile away."

Me: "Why did you put your laptop in the oven?"
DC Mom: "Because you always put laptops in the oven!"

I told myself in a dream that the dream I was having was boring and I should find a new one. o.0

While watching Television in my dream:
Commercial Guy: "Are you tired of stupid commercials like this"
Tom: "Hey bob"
Bob: "Hey Tom"
Tom: "Wanna buy this Bob"
Bob: "That stuff is a bunch of shit"
Tom: "Well... Well... Your a bad person"
Commercial Guy: "If so... Change the channel"

Walking through a random neighborhood in a lucid dream:
Me: "Hey man I'm dreaming!"
Guy: "Well I like to pee upside-down"

Playing hide-and-seek with my friends:
Me: "Hey let's play hide-and-seek"
Friend 1: "Okay I will count to 19"
Everyone runs
Friend 2: "Ninja mode activated"
We never found Friend 2

Me: Oh, hi Mom.

Mom: Don't say that, it's racist!

Me: What do you mean?!

Mom: Chemicals!

Me and Suscitatsio have a video camera and we are passed out but I still hear these guys say "What do they expect to do? Record their dreams?"

I'm running with a roll of tape through this house getting it all over the place. My brother comes in saying what I did was stupid. I reply "You’re just jealous of my revolution.”

One lady asks "Why are you jogging? Exercise?" Drew answers "No because I'm tired"