Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

My little sister put a quarter in the wall of some food stand and climbed onto a table, which started spinning around crazily. My mom said, "I'm glad to see she's getting so much enjoyment out of the telephone."

Originally Posted by redisreddish

My little sister put a quarter in the wall of some food stand and climbed onto a table, which started spinning around crazily. My mom said, "I'm glad to see she's getting so much enjoyment out of the telephone."

Lulz. Off topic, but I remember that quote in your sig. Marked, am I correct??

Yup, it's from Marked.

I can't remember if this one was actually said or if I saw it written down somewhere, but I definitely remember thinking about it. Somebody told Pingu to do well in his exams and get at least a D grade. Pingu then answered: "I will have a poo."
I also remember this from last night: "I was watching a strange Christmas program on a television, and Slade's famous Christmas song was being performed. After the end of the first chorus, someone asked the singer what would Christmas be like this year. He answered: "There's going to be lots of w**king, lots of w**king indeed."

In a non-lucid dream, it was my birthday. I had made a friend out of a ghost girl, and decided to invite her to join in the celebrations.

When my older brother brought out the monstrously large candles, he said: I had the baker make them with extra icing, how you like them!

The ghost girl: What are those?

Me: Oh gosh! You died before candles were invented! Here, you stick 'em in your ears, like this.

She then proceeded to stick them in her ears, and I was angry because she got a year older, instead of me.
I later explained, in detail, the mechanics of a washing machine

..WTF?

Me: Whoa... I'm dreaming!!!!

DC: Hell yeah! You didn't know they could do that with that stuff?

Another from me.
I became lucid again recently after passing through a shop window on the front of a car. This triggered my lucidity and I said, "Hey, this means I'm dreaming!"
My brother standing next to me said, "Um, yeah..."
Then someone completely random behind me started this conversation:

Them: Hey, do you want to know something that's interesting?
Me: OK, as long as I can tell you something afterwards as well.
Them: OK, fine.
Me: What's interesting then?
Them: You should be offline.

Then they buzzed off somewhere and failed to uphold their part of the promise, as I couldn't tell them what I wanted to.

I was lucid making out with a girl in the bathroom. All of a sudden a bunch of guys rushed in. I tried to stop them but they kept coming. I left, and later on I met up with the same girl in a different location.

We kissed and she asked me "what does it taste like"? I said "I don't know". And she said "It should have tasted like one hundred dicks".

I'm at school. I ask my teacher to
go to the rest room, and he said
ok. The toilets were full, so I
decided to wait. One guy
finished, so I enter. I found out
that he was masturbating - he
didn't flush. '' Hey, you ! '' I
called him. '' Yes. '' He replied. ''
Why did you masturbate at a
time like this ? '' I asked. '' I
didn't masturbate ... I just
pooped '' .... '' So, you
masturbate from your a** ? '' I
told him. '' Yeah ... I guess. '' He said back to me ...

EDIT : It was a non-lucid dream, I recall that I screamed twice afterwards, don't know why.

That's, uh... kind of icky.

Originally Posted by Akono

I was lucid making out with a girl in the bathroom. All of a sudden a bunch of guys rushed in. I tried to stop them but they kept coming. I left, and later on I met up with the same girl in a different location.

We kissed and she asked me "what does it taste like"? I said "I don't know". And she said "It should have tasted like one hundred dicks".

HA! that slut.....you should have stayed and beat everyone up, so she would not have said that.

Originally Posted by LucidFlanders

HA! that slut.....you should have stayed and beat everyone up, so she would not have said that.

I already met my quota for asskickery in that lucid so I moved on.

Overdone in my case but:

Jar of Mayonnaise: "You know nothing!"

I don't have a funny quote but rather a crazy little thing that happened. I was hanging out with this girl from work who used to be engaged but just recently broke up with her fiance, and she is NOT happy about it. Suddenly my cell phone started ringing and she picked it up and said "No Boyfriend is calling." I said "what?" Then she said "someone named 'No Boyfriend' is calling you." I took the phone from her and looked the little screen and sure enough the name on the screen was "No Boyfriend." FASCINATING!!

"So that's how it is!"

It works in context. He basically was saying, "a-ha! I get it now". Not in a condescending way. YEAH...it's not THAT weird. If you wanna know more...read the entry .

some old bald guy kept yelling "SQUEEGEE!!" over and over again...like, in my face.

Originally Posted by quicksilver girl.

some old bald guy kept yelling "SQUEEGEE!!" over and over again...like, in my face.

I lol'd.

Bloody Mary: "Do not eat all my candy. It would be difficult to take off those shorts if you were a toucan."

"It's fitz"

Whatever that is supposed to mean.

Originally Posted by Dylan xD

A random buff guy standing next to me naked screamed "I am.... MASTER SHLONG" So loud in one of my LDs it made me lose lucidity.

Sorry for the double post, don't know how to edit in the quote, but I'd just like to say, THIS MADE MY DAY.

Dunno why, it was just hilarious.

I'm a receptionst at a hotel of some kind. A guest comes towards me. He starts complaining with a wierd accent.

Him : '' What is zis hotel ?? I want ma maney back !! ''
Me : '' Why is that, kind sir ?? ''
Him : '' First, I ask fo a sheet ( He pronounced it like ' shit ' ) to sign in za hotel. But no ! Zey say, you wanna sheet, go to za toilet. I clearly want TWO ( He spat ) sheets unda ma bed. ( He wants ' to shit ' under his bed ) Second, I go to za restarantz. Everyone haz a fork ( He pronounced it ' F*** ' ) on is table. I ask a waitrez for a fork, but she juzt zmiles - ''
I interupted him : '' You better not f*** on my table, you son of a b****. '' Then I woke up.

Originally Posted by Amoeba

"It's fitz"

Whatever that is supposed to mean.

I have a friend named fitz!

Originally Posted by I_C_U

I'm a receptionst at a hotel of some kind. A guest comes towards me. He starts complaining with a wierd accent.

Him : '' What is zis hotel ?? I want ma maney back !! ''
Me : '' Why is that, kind sir ?? ''
Him : '' First, I ask fo a sheet ( He pronounced it like ' shit ' ) to sign in za hotel. But no ! Zey say, you wanna sheet, go to za toilet. I clearly want TWO ( He spat ) sheets unda ma bed. ( He wants ' to shit ' under his bed ) Second, I go to za restarantz. Everyone haz a fork ( He pronounced it ' F*** ' ) on is table. I ask a waitrez for a fork, but she juzt zmiles - ''
I interupted him : '' You better not f*** on my table, you son of a b****. '' Then I woke up.

Ahahaha that's hilarious!!!

I was in my kitchen and I saw mum sitting outside. I walked outside to talk to her.
"Mum, am I dreaming?" I asked her.
"I don't know, sweety, what time is it? I'm hungry." She replied and looked at her watch.
I then became Lucid and decided to fly off of the veranda.
"See you later!" She called after me and waved, still staring at her watch.

I looked at my watch in a nonlucid and a voice suddenly said "God likes it when you eat potatoes."