Quote Originally Posted by Dreamwalkwr View Post
Wow, lol! And I thought I was anti people. I stick to myself and trust no one..I find it's best this way, less disappointment. I feel for your wife and think it's admirable that you seem to genuinely love and care for her well being. Good for you. Most people are just too selfish to look beyond themselves to genuinely care for another the way they should. I've decided that maybe the reason why certain things in my life aren't so great is maybe I'm paying off karma. I try and treat others well but I always end up with them thinking it's fake or they can walk all over me. So I have to be a bitch too just so assholes don't take advantage of my nice side and use me. I do care about people but I keep my distance emotionally from most. Those I let in isually just hurt me, I feel like I give and give and get crapped on for all my effort. Depressing actually. Life's a bitch and so are most people.
Yeah, I have a very sharp and drastic view of the world, and I've changed and re-iterated it countless of times. Take for example the so called "good" and "evil" and their horrible perception in society. People label things good or evil for the stupidest reasons. Some say people that follow a certain religion are evil, even if they deeply care for others. Some may call people of their own religion good, even if they make others suffer on a daily basis.
With my current morality I only determine good and evil in one single way, pleasure is good (yo, I'm taking about pleasure in general, not sexual) and suffering is evil.
Someone's living his life in ignorance, ultimately bringing more suffering to the world than pleasure? He/she is evil, even if just a bit.
Someone not just deeply cares for his family but also tries to make the lives of others better? That person I would call good.
A politician acts to make the lives of a few rich people that already have it good even a tiny bit better at the expense of making life for like 80% of the population worse? That person is the pure definition of evil, more so than almost any villain in any game or movie I can think of.
Someone kills a single person to prevent him/her taking the lives of other people that deeply cared about life and brought more pleasure to the world than suffering? He has killed someone, which is in itself bad, but his action has ultimately made the world a better place, so he is good regardless.

I have a deep care and interest for life as a whole, and I love it with all my heart. I believe that any sentient being, whatever race, gender or beliefs should be able to live a fulfilled life.
And I also believe that anyone has forfeited his right to live who believes others have not deserved their life for any reason less than those persons being evil, as in bringing more suffering to the world than anything else.
But with the world being like it is and this drastic view... I'd have to consider most people evil.
If the worst part of mankind were to die, any single individual that brings more suffering to the world than pleasure, I wouldn't shed one tear, I wouldn't even bat an eye. However many digits the death toll would be. But on the inside I'm crying for any single decent sentient being that dies on this god-forsaken planet everyday. If there is a god, fuck him for creating this place. If god were to show himself undeniably to everyone globally tomorrow I still wouldn't be his follower, for anyone who creates a world like this has no reason to be followed and believed in.

I do my best to bring good to the world, and unlike other people I don't think of it as being selfless. No, I'm in fact 100% egoistical for my desire to change the world to a better place.
I want to know how it feels to live my life without caring for a thing in the world, but I don't want to be an ignorant bastard. The only way to ever feel that is to live in a better world, and that doesn't happen by itself. When I help others, I help myself.

Quote Originally Posted by Descensus View Post
Sorry, are you saying that feeling pain is not natural?
No feeling pain is natural, and it's natures utterly corrupted way of ensuring survival via making lifeforms vary of avoiding things that cause them pain. I see pain as perfectly natural, which doesn't mean I agree with the way nature and our bodies handle it one bit.
When I say that I want to learn not to feel pain then I'm thinking of it as an logical step in evolution. Physical pain hinders us. If we were to get a simple non-bothering but clear signal that something's wrong, and what we'd all be off better. Humans couldn't torture each other as simply either.
When humans designed PCs, I doubt anyone ever really thought they should feel pain, or make us feel pain, it's all just simple error messages. And why would anyone? It's a flawed concept. The same for organic lifeforms would be pretty cool.

I think differently about mental pain. Without the ability to feel mental pain we would lose compassion. And compassion is one of the most important foundations for decent sentient beings there is.



Sigh... going off on tangents again, but I'd like to believe I'm at least providing something interest to read and discuss about.
I have no new ideas about the main topic of getting more control to report for now though.