Thread: Bemistaken's Workbook

I think about life and what happens after this lifetime a lot...always have. I have always questioned my reality. Why are we here? Who am I? Are we more than this? As a child I would allow my mind to wonder to places deep inside my imagination. As I grew older, it became a little more difficult to use my imagination. Why is that so? I guess because as an adult I allow my waking life to suck up any and all mental space I may have left. Family, work, school, people, behaviors, responsibilities...so much to do and so little time. I have no idea how certain thoughts get into my head. I often say to myself, "Where did that thought come from?" I realize these thoughts that pop out of no where must come from 'somewhere' and all I know is that I want to go to that 'somewhere.'

Last night I told myself that I have been working on finding my process for obtaining lucidity for some time now. I feel like I am now understanding my process, however; I don't understand lucidity. In other words, I can get lucid but I don't understand the pure essence of lucidity. Sure I have read DV and other resources about what I can do and sure I have challenge myself with a few tasks...but I'm talking about something totally different here. There is something that cannot be explained...there is something MORE.

During my MILD last night I told myself that I will continue to follow my process but I will stop setting limits on myself. Stop wishing to just get lucid and that's it...I just can't do that anymore. I am not doing my body, mind, and spirit any justice by getting just 'lucid.' I AM MORE THAN THIS. Instead of trying to get lucid I will set my goal at allowing myself to experience what lucidity means to me. Not focusing so much on what I can do, but rather on understanding the essence of being in the experience.

No more wondering, "Why can't I get lucid?" Now the question is, "Why can I?"



*Side Note
After doing a MILD with all of the above information still on my mind I woke up to vibrations so strong I thought we were having an earthquake. I was sleep and really don't remember a dream, but I will call this one a DILD. I remembered what I said to myself before I fell asleep (about experiencing and just being in the lucid) and I just stayed calm and still. Nothing fascinating to report except I felt peace and freedom...which is fascinating enough for me.

Always humble and always grateful.
Bemistaken