Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

All this time?



Tommo, you clever rascal you.

My parents are coming to visit tomorrow. D:

Just read about Hamlet's love for Ophelia. Makes me cry every time.

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

I only "liked" all that shit because I wanted to 'be there for you'

That said, you should buck up and not go on break. I know you feel that there are some aspects of this place that you may find to be an unhealthy environment for you. SO WHAT. You can express yourself anonymously here without repercussions in your actual life.

I have more to say but I just got distracted or something. Come back. Or be wimpy.

I'm sure she'll be back soon enough. There's nothing wrong with being a little emotional. I think she's already gone, anyway.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

Spoiler for gigantic post:

Shit. It was Meeps, then Carrot rarely comes on, and now Deery?

Well, I hope you enjoy your break. To be honest, sometimes I want to stop trying to induce lucid dreaming myself because I'm too passionate about it because of the fact that I can use it to escape.

Yet I can never get lucid often because I mostly sleep abnormally, which messes up my REM, so I don't know if I'm going to get a rebound or not. Sometimes I wonder what's the use trying to build up recall and trying to remember random and pointless dreams if I can't get lucid and actually do what I want to do?

It just gets stressful, and some people say I should take a break, but I just can't do that! I don't want to forget my dreams, even if they suck, it's just nice to see how things can build up over the years. We live part of our lives dreaming, so why not use it while you can right? It's always a battle trying to get a decent sleep schedule to induce dreams, but 99% of my dreams are non-lucids, so I know I'm doing something wrong.

And I'm building up all this memory, and can remember most my dreams I've put in my journal up until now because of small bits of images.

And like what Alyzarin said, make the most out of your break, I hope you will come back with a passion to LD again, usually when you take a break, you'll start to miss the experience of trying to LD. I hope this passion becomes a part of you again when you do come back.

Even though I do seem to post silly rants about my life, I do keep a conscious check on others and sometimes just stay still in bed and just speculate on how much shit others have to go through. Sometimes I don't respond because I'm afraid my words might not be enough to portray what I'm really declaring (or too much to where it doesn't make sense )

It's hard trying to know yourself and establish a stable mindset, it really is some hard shit to deal with that sometimes it just becomes too overwhelming, but if you feel you need a break, do so, as long as it makes you content.

Even if we are all strangers to each other, it doesn't mean we can't at least empathize with each other because even though I do seem to post silly rants about my life, I do keep a conscious check on others and sometimes just stay still in bed and just speculate on how much shit others have to go through.

Sometimes I don't respond because I'm afraid my words might not be enough to portray what I'm really declaring (or too much to where it doesn't make sense )

Even if I do act like an idiot sometimes, I do try to be careful with people's feelings, because mine are just as fragile (so many thoughts operating at once, so many temptations that I'm surprised to even control them), and it would just make me feel horrible if I ended up being a hypocrite. (My mind really likes to play with me sometimes..fortunately, just on the mental side )

Be safe, and I hope you'll have peace of mind again when you come back. Adding dreaming to our lives is a challenge because it's mostly brief moments of passion that has to be refilled over and over to have consistent and positive results.

But you can do it, even though it sounds corny right now, all of the hatred, pain, and all negative experiences you've encountered, you should know that you endured through them and was able to cope with it.

That involves consistent courage to keep going, that's a part of you that you should be glad to have that you don't need others to help you be aware of.

I feel kind of weak and vulnerable saying this to you, but just know I'm saying this as honestly as I can Deery.

I always loved this quote that a character said in Tales of Symphonia that has motivated me,

"Courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality."

It sucks feeling weak from time to time, but just know that courage will keep you going. It will get what you want in life.

Well said. I especially like the part about how not trying to lucid dream for a while will make you become passionate about it, it's so true. I've fallen into the groove of LD laziness so many times, after all I found this place back in summer of '09 and it took me until the end of last year to actually feel like I'd stick with it enough to register lol. I think I might be doing it again though, sometimes I feel like lucids really aren't that great. :T (Until I have one again and remember they actually are. X3)

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

I only "liked" all that shit because I wanted to 'be there for you'

That said, you should buck up and not go on break. I know you feel that there are some aspects of this place that you may find to be an unhealthy environment for you. SO WHAT. You can express yourself anonymously here without repercussions in your actual life.

I have more to say but I just got distracted or something. Come back. Or be wimpy.

You're right on the on the personal life thing, but there has to be some kind of social interaction going on other than the sake of lucid dreaming. Sometimes people don't even want to think about dreaming and find something else to do in the forums. Just coming here for the sake of dreaming itself WILL get boring eventually, and can have a HIGHER chance of quitting or taking more breaks unless there is an attempt to at least know a little bit about other members (some may reveal more, but they know the risks involved in doing that).

All the small little threads do make a difference in convincing others to stay here longer, I know it does for me at least.

If my time in DV consisted of just posting DJ entries and IRC, I'd be sitting at the cool table at lunch in a fucking mental hospital. (99% goes towards IRC; no one can escape the IRC once they've been exposed for a certain period of time).

But the "tough-up" mentality usually ends up hurting most even more. Don't want too many chemicals produced from our bodies to suppress the negative experiences in life. I agree with you that sometimes it's good to build a fort once in a while, but sometimes it's even better to take a break, we are humans after all.

Our mortality, the ticking of our hearts, makes us the same no matter how superior or confident we try to portray ourselves to others. I wouldn't want to over-exert mine.

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

I only "liked" all that shit because I wanted to 'be there for you'

That said, you should buck up and not go on break. I know you feel that there are some aspects of this place that you may find to be an unhealthy environment for you. SO WHAT. You can express yourself anonymously here without repercussions in your actual life.

I have more to say but I just got distracted or something. Come back. Or be wimpy.

What a minute... what? You went from nice to mean so quickly. Decided to join Tommo? And seeing how many pics I've posted here, sadly, I fear I'm not nearly as "anonymous" as I should be, though I still let loose as if I were. At least all the drama's in the right thread.

Anyway, I came back because I just HAD to post this video... and because I never said how long my "break" would actually be.



So true...

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

All this time?



Tommo, you clever rascal you.

Yes, all this.... half-page.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

What a minute... what? You went from nice to mean so quickly. Decided to join Tommo?

She's not "joining me". It's not like I have a vendetta against you anyway.

I'm not continuing this argument, just clearing up that for Ophelia.

My parents have been fighting for ages. I'm still in bed pretending to be asleep and just hearing them through the walls. I hope they stop soon.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

My parents have been fighting for ages. I'm still in bed pretending to be asleep and just hearing them through the walls. I hope they stop soon.

That's something that scares me about marriage, the fights that end up with the partners threatening each other that they'll leave or something extreme, and then they cool off and play that "quiet" game for several days. Then one of them tries to apologize, and it just feels awkward.

I guess it's a part of being in a relationship, don't take it too seriously, I know the feeling of hearing people argue, and feeling like I'm part of the whole deal (my head starts to hurt a little bit and all sorts of things), which just makes me want to forget what the hell was going on in the first place.

It's something you'll have to bear with, it may still linger in your mind, but your personality is going to help you forget about it . Even if the fights persist.

Thanks Link. I managed to fall asleep since I was still in bed and just woke up now (a couple hours later). My mom is out shopping and my dad is still here, but he seems fine. They usually don't really argue about anything serious but they still get really into it so it makes me uncomfortable some time. :\ But I think all is good for now.

My last post was totally just one big massive vent. I'm feeling better now but now I'm going to be spending the next nine hours doing art... Then tomorrow, too. At bowling today, my boyfriend said that he wanted to see me tonight but I had to tell him no, and I was tearing up again once I got home.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Sounds like you had a similar night to mine last night, except for the schoolwork part. I remember drowning in schoolwork and crying in the middle of class as well. Perhaps you could talk to a school counselor about what you're going through, and get some help at least.

Oh really? And yeah, I'd talk to the school counselor but she doesn't know anything unfortunately; her advice is very poor.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

I'm sorry Puffin, that sounds terrible. I really hope your aunt turns out alright. Do you mind if I ask what she's in the hospital for?

Puffin and Deery

Thanks Alyzarin, she's in the hospital because there is something wrong with her stomach. She's going to be in for major surgery in a week, but she's not doing too well so people aren't sure if she'll make it.

Originally Posted by Puffin

My last post was totally just one big massive vent. I'm feeling better now but now I'm going to be spending the next nine hours doing art... Then tomorrow, too. At bowling today, my boyfriend said that he wanted to see me tonight but I had to tell him no, and I was tearing up again once I got home.

Glad that you're feeling better now, it's good to just type out what was on your mind and to just let it out.

Ouch, and about art, nine hours? Wow...good luck doing that! Hope you take little breaks in between, because I know when I spent hours working in a self-portrait drawing with graphite, my mind would play tricks on my eyes because it's so focused on that one field of vision. Sometimes I would laugh uncontrollably because I wonder how the hell I could cope with keeping major parts of my body still and just focusing on my hands maneuvering around a 8.5x11 piece of paper. xD

Oh really? And yeah, I'd talk to the school counselor but she doesn't know anything unfortunately; her advice is very poor.

It seems counselors in schools nowadays just want to do the schedule arrangement and ruining everyone's lives by not pairing them up with their friends.

Even though the ones here say that they can provide assistance in other things such as emotional manners, they would usually give students a monotone gesture that would make the students' self-esteem go down even more.

I remember the counselor I went to in High School used to be serious about me doing well (even though I was the top 20 people out of like 600-700 seniors in that school for crying out loud), and then she'd tried to be nice to me and smile when we had a pre-graduation party that I just stood there alone while everyone took pictures with their friends to add on to their memories.

That's what sucked about moving to different High Schools to find a decent house, but I'm way over that now. College is more awesome, even if I'm still lonely :<

I'm sure your boyfriend would understand what you had to do, at least it'll show you can be independent, and that will make him like you more because he'll want to treasure the moments you and him are together and work harder at making you happy and content. So it isn't too bad my friend. And at least you're giving him a challenge, you don't want him to have you at the palm of his hands.

Good luck with art Puffin!

Originally Posted by Puffin

Thanks Alyzarin, she's in the hospital because there is something wrong with her stomach. She's going to be in for major surgery in a week, but she's not doing too well so people aren't sure if she'll make it.

I'm so sorry, Puffin. I wish her all the luck in the world.

And, as Link said, good luck with your art! That sounds grueling.

with Deery. That video was great. Glad your break was a short one

Puffins Aunt and Puffin. I hope you're Aunt recovers completely and quickly.

Alyzarin I hated when my parents fought (which was almost a daily thing and THE main reason I'm so passive)

Abra. I hope the visit is a pleasant one

No rants from me today... but I just woke up so...........

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

What a minute... what? You went from nice to mean so quickly. Decided to join Tommo? And seeing how many pics I've posted here, sadly, I fear I'm not nearly as "anonymous" as I should be, though I still let loose as if I were. At least all the drama's in the right thread.

Anyway, I came back because I just HAD to post this video... and because I never said how long my "break" would actually be.



So true...

Naaah, I'm not mean, I was trying the 'tough love' approach

It works on my son, I realize you're not 8 though.

Glad you're break was short <3

Spoiler for Just want to slap people for this:

I find myself comparing people a lot lately. It kind of makes me bitter seeing a person who is clearly better than I am, and even if I do accept it, people will continue to boast about how that person is so amazing. I try not to go into it because there's always someone better.

And when I don't compare myself to others, and try to be humble, society seems to be bit contradictory between comparing and boasting to being humble. Doesn't humbleness have a limit? It seems that when you try to be more confident, people will think you're a narcissist and when you compare yourself with others, they say "oooh don't worry, you shouldn't compare yourself with Van Gogh/Einstein/etc."

So when I try to not care about the two altogether, people still find a way to make me think about it again. Like if someone does well on a Biology Exam, other may think "Ooooh my god, that person must be smart..." when clearly there have been people who have done just as well or even better than them.

What really pisses me off is when a person asks how you did so well on essays and long research papers or anything that requires deep thinking, and I try to tell them that I worked hard in trying to develop abstract thinking (which professors seem to love a lot nowadays), and they're STILL SHOCKED that is the reason why I did well?

Especially when they were ones who said, "Oh my god, people who like reading books are stupid." and then when they try to write an essay, they're like "Oh my god, that essay was so hard to do!"

Well no shit. It's because you're busy complaining on something that is "boring" to you, and instead of digesting other people's methods of proving a point, you can't come up with your own method of thinking, which makes you a dip shit.

When one starts to forget comparisons, etc., people start to think that they're going into the darkness and are just going to become people with regrets when they get older.

What bullshit is that?

Cliffs: People say not to compare yourself with others, yet not doing so will create a mindset that you shouldn't use those who are superior to you to do better in what you're doing.

But at the same time, if you stop caring about comparing people, people still find a way to keep you thinking about others again.

Then when you tell people how you did something, yet they still wonder why they couldn't do it is because they were complaining about what is necessary to have a grasp of it.

Complaint:

It seems the whole "right and wrong" that we're constantly trying to balance, and when we end up being wrong to one person's perspective, even though we're right...it gets really fucking annoying, especially when people reverse the syntax you were using to prove a point, and then people jump on the bandwagon and agree with them as well.

Then when another person comes up with something that is clearly right, the one who tried to prove themselves right before being proven wrong talks about something else rather than the subject at hand.

It's amazing, because when our generation is DEAD, and the next generation finds MORE TRUTHS, they're going to LAUGH at our THOUGHTS (like how certain scholars before us believed the Earth was just 6,000 years because they had to use whatever information that could find).

We're just going to die with a preset that certain beliefs were true, yet we still don't understand how theories should be interpreted. It seems when something is generally accepted by the world is rejected with a new theory, people START DEFENDING something that is suppose to be SUBJECTIVE until there is a more accurate theory to believe in.

Theories start becoming a permanent belief system to many instead of being open to other possibilities. And it's amazing how we spend more time speculating on why we're wrong on something, confined in this small planet, and not think about bigger and greater things.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

My parents have been fighting for ages. I'm still in bed pretending to be asleep and just hearing them through the walls. I hope they stop soon.

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad to hear they're doing better, though. If they start fighting again when you're in your room, perhaps you could use earplugs, loud music through headphones, or both... I wish I had discovered earplugs YEARS ago, they would have made my life soooo much easier. I also have noise-cancelling headphones, which not only quiet out some external sound but make the music so much deeper and richer.

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

Naaah, I'm not mean, I was trying the 'tough love' approach

It works on my son, I realize you're not 8 though.

Glad you're break was short <3

Well, I think the tough love worked on me.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

I find myself comparing people a lot lately. It kind of makes me bitter seeing a person who is clearly better than I am, and even if I do accept it, people will continue to boast about how that person is so amazing. I try not to go into it because there's always someone better.

And when I don't compare myself to others, and try to be humble, society seems to be bit contradictory between comparing and boasting to being humble. Doesn't humbleness have a limit? It seems that when you try to be more confident, people will think you're a narcissist and when you compare yourself with others, they say "oooh don't worry, you shouldn't compare yourself with Van Gogh/Einstein/etc."

So when I try to not care about the two altogether, people still find a way to make me think about it again. Like if someone does well on a Biology Exam, other may think "Ooooh my god, that person must be smart..." when clearly there have been people who have done just as well or even better than them.

Yeah, society is full of contradictions. Even in Disney movies, when they attempt to have of message of "It doesn't matter how you look, it's on the inside that counts", the background extras have tiny pupils and look silly compared to the "hero" characters with big pupils and more attractive, well developed features. Well, it's obvious that society has contradictions, because everybody has varying opinions, some are smarter, some are more selfish, some are more altruistic (or at least attempt to be to hide their true opinions) etc. It's just best to not take them that seriously altogether.

Just do the best you can, and only compare yourself to others when you see that they're using a method that you could use to improve yourself. Learn from them, don't get jealous.

The only rant I have today is that my neck got pretty stiff and sore as I woke up. I should go to a chiropractor to work on my whiplash, but I have to wait over the weekend. Plus, in one of my dreams I had an awesome, professional sounding original techno song playing, and I got lucid trying to memorize exactly what chords were playing, so I could recreate it on FL Studio. Unfortunately, I didn't wake up before having loads of other dreams, and forgot the song. Well, next time I guess.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Alyzarin I hated when my parents fought (which was almost a daily thing and THE main reason I'm so passive)

I can definitely understand that, my parents don't fight every day but their fighting is one of the main reasons I feel I never really get worked up about anything myself. :/

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad to hear they're doing better, though. If they start fighting again when you're in your room, perhaps you could use earplugs, loud music through headphones, or both... I wish I had discovered earplugs YEARS ago, they would have made my life soooo much easier. I also have noise-cancelling headphones, which not only quiet out some external sound but make the music so much deeper and richer.

I should look into getting some of those noise-cancelling ones. I would've done that if I had my headphones in my room this morning, but I happened to leave them in the living room. Sometimes I take my iPod and laptop into my room at night but other times I just leave it out there, and last night I did. Oh well. But yeah, they're better now. They usually get over things without too much trouble (beyond the long arguments), but still....

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Yeah, society is full of contradictions. Even in Disney movies, when they attempt to have of message of "It doesn't matter how you look, it's on the inside that counts", the background extras have tiny pupils and look silly compared to the "hero" characters with big pupils and more attractive, well developed features. Well, it's obvious that society has contradictions, because everybody has varying opinions, some are smarter, some are more selfish, some are more altruistic (or at least attempt to be to hide their true opinions) etc. It's just best to not take them that seriously altogether.

Thank you, you're so right about the Disney movies and how this character should be the epitome of what others should be based on. And the "beauty within" mentality, I agree with you more. I try to look at a person for who they really are, but I just find myself being attracted by their physical traits (even though in my mind I know that as years go by, their appearance will degrade and personality starts to shine through even more).

When I look at clips of the classic Disney movies, the animations were so amazing to me compared to what it is now. It was more vibrant and fluid, and seeing those "pretty girls," it just made me melt looking at them. Everything was so cliched in romance, but it was so beautiful to me.

Just do the best you can, and only compare yourself to others when you see that they're using a method that you could use to improve yourself. Learn from them, don't get jealous.

Thanks, I'll try to do that more often. It's just the temptations of not having what the other person has that makes me forget to just compare them if they have a way that I can use to make myself better.

The only rant I have today is that my neck got pretty stiff and sore as I woke up. I should go to a chiropractor to work on my whiplash, but I have to wait over the weekend. Plus, in one of my dreams I had an awesome, professional sounding original techno song playing, and I got lucid trying to memorize exactly what chords were playing, so I could recreate it on FL Studio. Unfortunately, I didn't wake up before having loads of other dreams, and forgot the song. Well, next time I guess.

That's good that you're using your dreams for creativity. Good luck!

I need to start doing the same whenever I get lucid. I keep trying to use it for sex

I'd like to use it for creativity to make myself more of a prodigy. I find I want to become more calculated with my emotions and with others too, it just feels good knowing on being able to plan things out, and even when the odds start coming against me, at least I know how to keep my cool when that time comes.

I think that's something I need to improve on, maintaining calmness and tranquility when things get too hectic for me. To have a personality that is somewhat cold, but empathizing towards others and acknowledging their flaws, but at the same time not thinking too much on it.

That really involves a lot of tenacity and will, and ambition. I have ambition, but the "will" side seems to be dormant now xD..Tenacity...eh, not so much.

I guess I'm a bit late to the party, but I just want to express my sympathy for the people here. It doesn't really work to type out several heartfelt responses in one post (I tried and it sounded unbelievably insincere). But especially Puffin and Deery seems to have had come pretty crappy experiences, and I hope things will be all right.

On an unrelated note, it's nice to see things being well, Zhaylin Well, except for it having been morning at the time of the post

hehee, Khh, I'm still having anxiety symptoms but they're MUCH more manageable (and life is much more tolerable) because I've been taking 1/8 of Valuim as needed
That seems to be the perfect amount, but I do worry about the accumulative affect.
So, I'm basically just chilling

Deery, I HATE when stuff like that happens. I've heard original songs or names in my dreams and I can never remember them once I wake up

Link, Double-Standards do seem to abound. Just try to find your niche and stick to it. It makes life so much easier.
My p-doc always likes to give parables or somesuch to make me realize how silly people can be. I don't remember exactly how this one ends but it starts out:
There's an old man and a young boy traveling a great distance with their donkey. The boy was sitting on the donkey's back and along their journey, someone criticized them because the old man had to walk. So they switched places.
But later on, someone gave them grief because the young boy had to walk. So neither of them rode, but plodded along beside the animal. Along comes someone else who ridicules them for walking when they could arrive at their destination if BOTH of them rode the beast of burden.
Then someone yelled at them because the poor animal was carrying too much.
Completely flabbergasted, the boy and old man then carried the donkey.

The moral of the story is that you cannot please everyone all the time.
The secondary moral (them carrying the donkey) is the one I've forgotten lol.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Link, Double-Standards do seem to abound. Just try to find your niche and stick to it. It makes life so much easier.
My p-doc always likes to give parables or somesuch to make me realize how silly people can be. I don't remember exactly how this one ends but it starts out:
There's an old man and a young boy traveling a great distance with their donkey. The boy was sitting on the donkey's back and along their journey, someone criticized them because the old man had to walk. So they switched places.
But later on, someone gave them grief because the young boy had to walk. So neither of them rode, but plodded along beside the animal. Along comes someone else who ridicules them for walking when they could arrive at their destination if BOTH of them rode the beast of burden.
Then someone yelled at them because the poor animal was carrying too much.
Completely flabbergasted, the boy and old man then carried the donkey.

The moral of the story is that you cannot please everyone all the time.
The secondary moral (them carrying the donkey) is the one I've forgotten lol.

An old man and a young boy were traveling through their village with their donkey. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked.

As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding.

The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk.

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying, "How awful to put such a load on a poor donkey."

The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you may as well just kiss your ass goodbye.

The Old Man, the Boy, and the Donkey

Lmao. Thanks Zhaylin. I think I try to hard to be nice to people even though I'm anti-social myself. XD

hehehee! Thanks for posting that

I woke up on Wednesday to the worst sore throat I've ever had, but it went away after a while. I got a high fever on Thursday night, which do not often get and needless to say, I felt like crap. Max temp I think was 103.2, which is high for me. I took some Nyquil and took my drugged ass to bed. I then woke up on Friday with a weaker fever and as the day progressed I got more and more congested and my throat hurt like hell in the evening. On Saturday my nose was running constantly and the pressure in my head became increasingly annoying. At 10:30pm my mom went and got me some Sudafed, because we realized that the DayQuil I had been taking for my congestion and no decongestant. This morning, I was virtually free of congestion for the first 15 minutes, as if I was being teased, and now it's freaking Sunday, I feel worse than I did yesterday and I have the first day of my new semester of school tomorrow. My nose is red and sore from blowing it so much and the pressure and congestion in my head is driving me insane. I took another sudafed but it hasn't done anything yet. I would hate to miss class but I would rather do that than to make a first impression as that one kid who spent all of class blowing his nose and coughing. Colds really suck.