Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

I have to agree with tropicalbreeze. Lying is inevitable, though I'm not good at it either. But I'm getting better. It's easy to get jobs when you lie. Also I've been lying to my parents about my flatmate for almost a year now. The truth is that I have no flatmate; I live alone.

Originally Posted by Tiresias

I actually finished my first semester of grad school about two weeks ago. The class I was sure I couldn't get an A in, I got one, so 4.0 for my first semester. That feels amazing.

Just did something similar for a Chem test. Only ONE question wrong! Was awesome.
It was the last question too. I knew it, just got too rushed coz people were leaving and I forgot to check something.

Getting good marks with not much effort worried me somewhat though, because this is how it has always been, even although I've been putting in more effort than I ever have with education, it's still not a LOT recently. And then I get too confident and therefore lazy with studying. Hopefully the huge assignment load in these last few weeks of semester will kick me in to gear. But I'm procrastinating right now, so....

Just little rant: Added girl from work (totally not attracted to her at all just btw lol) on facebook and saw her friend list and she's friends with Lankan girl.
This pisses me off for several reasons, including that Lankan girl said not to talk to her coz she's weird. Then they're friends????
Also ventured on to Lankan girl's fb and saw her new picture. Felt like crying.... was so close. But fuck that terrible person, she's not worth it.

I NEED the girl from Uni to come to class tomorrow. I need some sort of good thing to happen to me right now, really bad. Not something that I've worked to make good like my schoolwork, just something good to happen.
I don't want to work at getting better again and have it fall to shit. I can't do it again. I'll lose all hope.

Only instant I can really think of where I intentionally lie is my car insurance. I never changed my address because when I lived with my parents I was 5 miles from work. Now I'm 35 miles away and figure they'd raise my insurance because of that. Maybe not, but I figure I'm not taking chances. $2000 a year is damn expensive enough.

Rant... or rave? I came home yesterday morning and unintentionally fell asleep on my couch for about an hour. Then I got up and went to my bed, but of course then I couldn't fall asleep. Once again my body decided to troll me. An hour before I needed to get ready to go back into work, I finally managed to lay down and fall asleep. So in total, I had two hours of sleep. The rave is that I actually don't feel all that tired? Which is odd. I didn't even drink more coffee than normal. Basically I thought last night at work would suck, but it wasn't. And even now, I don't feel all that tired.

Welcome back NewArtemis

Grats Tommo!! Looks like we have a lot of worry-warts here at DV. All of y'all were stressing grades but it seems all is well?

lol, sefalik. I used to fall asleep at my desk all the time, go to bed and be up all night Glad you're surviving your day

No real rants here. I took my son to counseling and I waited with the AC on in the car for an hour and 20 minutes. It sucked my gas dry which has never happened before. We barely made it home, but I had to press onward to the Dollar Tree to get food for 2 days. I put $3.75 into the tank- the last bit of money. I had 2 bars of gas before I bought that single gallon. I started the car up after fueling and I still had 2 bars. I drove a few feet and it dropped to one bar It's around 3 miles from the store to home and I was super stressed but I kept telling myself, I JUST put in a gallon and 1 gallon gives me 20-24 miles.

Destinee has work today and I told her she might have to walk. But I just checked my credit card and there's $9.54 on it. *whew* I can put that into my tank. I have NEVER been this low before.
I got an advance from hubby Tuesday night for fuel. But my fuel was at almost half a tank before we left for counseling. I thought we would be more than fine. So I bought 2 clearomizers and McD's. Then my son spent $11. on tobacco. That $50. disappeared quickly!

My rave is that I had a different dream last night. I dreamed I was going through a drive-through to order food when I saw an unusual animal. It was a baby elephant. So I got it into my car and drove home. My cats surrounded it and I worried they'd eat him I got him inside and was showing him off to everyone, saying I needed to find out where he belonged etc. Someone commented that he was an unusual dog. It told them they were crazy and lifted his trunk... only it wasn't a trunk anymore but a tongue
I read a FB post before bed about elephants, which brought about the dream.

A rant of sorts is that hubby is definitely driving out to Kansas with me. He said he'd have mutiny on his hands if he even suggested changing the schedule again Headphones it is then...

Originally Posted by tommo

Getting good marks with not much effort worried me somewhat though, because this is how it has always been, even although I've been putting in more effort than I ever have with education, it's still not a LOT recently. And then I get too confident and therefore lazy with studying. Hopefully the huge assignment load in these last few weeks of semester will kick me in to gear. But I'm procrastinating right now, so....

How many classes are you taking? It seems to me like the classes themselves (the ones I've taken, at least) aren't actually that bad. But a lot of students do badly because taking 4 or so at once requires a lot of time. The material itself isn't that hard to comprehend, especially if the courses are first-year, but procrastinating for even a day or two can screw you up completely. Or maybe you're just really intelligent or got lucky with classes.

Originally Posted by tommo

I NEED the girl from Uni to come to class tomorrow.

There's a 'girl from uni' now? It seems you meet a girl you start focusing on wherever you spend a lot of time. So if this one doesn't work out at least there will probably be another.

------

Rant: I was going to respond to more posts but have to go. I've been waking up so late. I've only gotten out of bed and it's 1 pm. Meanwhile my parents are silently wondering when I'm going to start applying for jobs.

Rave: I decided I need to start wearing makeup again, so after a lot of consideration and backing out I've finally asked reddit for help. I've been spending a lot of time on reddit lately. Yesterday I made an alt and posted to a makeup expert subreddit asking for help with basically everything, from buying the makeup to applying it. I posted pictures of myself. And I can hardly believe the responses I've gotten so far. So many compliments. I haven't gotten a complement about my appearance from someone who has no obligation to be nice to me for soo long. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I look amazing, other times I look ugly as hell. So I've been feeling over the last few years that I actually am on the ugly side now, and it's added to my self-consciousness. And this helps a lot. I wasn't even expecting that, as I posted for the purpose of them telling me what makeup to buy. I didn't even think the pictures were flattering. I know they're likely exaggerating and do have a purpose in flattering people, but you can't completely make up a "I'd give a limb to have your eyes and full lips" comment. I know that the whole reason I'm happy about this is extremely vain. I really do make my best effort not to care about appearance at all (I know I'm going to get old someday so I desperately want not to be attached to that), but it's hard to escape the brainwashing of society, especially toward women, making us think how attractive we are is so important, and so for the time being this has set my mind to rest a bit. And of course, the advice itself including brand names was awesome. Getting makeup is going to be easy now.

About being attractive and stuff, it's all about doing it with confidence, not just make up.
Anyways my rave today is...WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY TODAY WAS OUTSIDE!!! Omg i missed it so much! The sun, the heat! <3333!
My perfect day usually is, ALL day nice and sunny, no wind, warm/hot weather and when it rains.....it rains at night! That's a perfect day indeed!
:heart::heart:

Glad to hear you got such positive feedback, Dianeva
I use a minimalist approach to makeup. It's just too expensive. I buy sticks of vitamin e moisturizer. I've been using the same sticks of lipstick for at least 10 years (I bought them in bulk way back when and I'm almost out ). Then there's eyeliner and an eye shadow stick. I put a thin line of lipstick down part of the way on my cheek bones, 2 small dots on my forehead, one on my chin. Then I put the vitamin e over it and smooth it all. Then I use the e on my eyelids, apply some color then smooth that. I put my lipstick on my lips and then my eyeliner and I'm done. I finish in under 5 minutes

Hathor, the weather's been nice here too. The weather channel has been calling for nightly showers but they've avoided us so far. The days are a little too hot for me, so I'm glad I have an AC in my room!

My rant is silly. My computer now faces a very large wall mirror. Previously, I had a desk sectional thing covering it, but it crowds my computer area too much so I moved it when I rearranged my work area a couple months ago. My computer covers most of it; and Oblivion/Skyrim maps are taped to the middle of the mirror (Yeah, I'm a nerd ). One side, however is exposed and I randomly make faces at myself then crack up laughing, then feel really stupid
I used to always avoid mirrors. I used to have a slight fear of them but mostly I just see no need to look into them. I don't know what's up with my funny face routine lately. (And by lately, I mean the last couple of months since I rearranged )

Oh well... maybe I'm in need of more laughter or something

Originally Posted by hathor28

About being attractive and stuff, it's all about doing it with confidence, not just make up.

I can see this being true. I definitely notice that how confident I feel is correlated to the way people treat me. I can't seem to control whatever micro-movements occur which make people perceive me differently without genuinely feeling confident though.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Glad to hear you got such positive feedback, Dianeva
I use a minimalist approach to makeup. It's just too expensive. I buy sticks of vitamin e moisturizer. I've been using the same sticks of lipstick for at least 10 years (I bought them in bulk way back when and I'm almost out ). Then there's eyeliner and an eye shadow stick. I put a thin line of lipstick down part of the way on my cheek bones, 2 small dots on my forehead, one on my chin. Then I put the vitamin e over it and smooth it all. Then I use the e on my eyelids, apply some color then smooth that. I put my lipstick on my lips and then my eyeliner and I'm done. I finish in under 5 minutes

Thanks! That would be awesome to be able to do it so quickly. One of the things I'm worried about is that it might take so long every day. I've begun straightening my hair and that takes a long time, about 45 minutes, every few days. If I have to spend like half an hour putting on makeup every day I'll start feeling like I'm too obsessed with my appearance. One thing though... did you say you put lipstick on your cheeks and forehead? Did you mean concealer or something, or do you use lipstick for color?

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

My rant is silly. My computer now faces a very large wall mirror. Previously, I had a desk sectional thing covering it, but it crowds my computer area too much so I moved it when I rearranged my work area a couple months ago. My computer covers most of it; and Oblivion/Skyrim maps are taped to the middle of the mirror (Yeah, I'm a nerd ). One side, however is exposed and I randomly make faces at myself then crack up laughing, then feel really stupid
I used to always avoid mirrors. I used to have a slight fear of them but mostly I just see no need to look into them. I don't know what's up with my funny face routine lately. (And by lately, I mean the last couple of months since I rearranged )

Oh well... maybe I'm in need of more laughter or something

That is hilarious, and awesome that you can find humor in it. I have a feeling most people would not be comfortable with themselves enough.

------

I just finished writing an e-mail to my ex in which I discussed/argued against this "Why I'm not an atheist" video he sent me. He wanted to exchange e-mails in which we'd discuss philosophical issues. I refused at first but I'm fine with it now. What's great is, I don't even care any more. I'm hardly even phased by the fact that I'm communicating with him. He's a good person who I care about like I would a friend, but no painful memories are being brought up. I guess after 2 years those feelings are bound to disappear. I enjoyed arguing my point and that's all.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Glad to hear you got such positive feedback, Dianeva
I use a minimalist approach to makeup. It's just too expensive. I buy sticks of vitamin e moisturizer. I've been using the same sticks of lipstick for at least 10 years (I bought them in bulk way back when and I'm almost out ).

Usually cosmetic companies don't keep their lines for long, what you liked for 10 years may not be in stores anymore and usually they discontinue a product which usually everyone loves and was popular because some people were complaining about the product or the product was caught having ingredients that shouldn't be used. I know it sucks, same with perfumes i loved back then from over 15yrs ago is now discontinued and can only buy on ebay, but for a higher price. :\

Yeah, Hathor. That's why I'm crying... I'm almost out lol. I love the shade of lipstick but I can't find it any more.

And, lol, Dianeva, I DO use the lipstick on my face. I use it as I would blush. I found the lipstick works so much better... plus my lips and cheeks always match I basically wear makeup just to add a little color to my face. The most obvious thing I use is eyeliner because my eyes are my best feature IMO
It's nice that you can talk to your ex

My new rant is that I'm ill. The kids were getting their food stamps after midnight but I couldn't stay awake. So I took an hour nap that was constantly disturbed. I woke with severe reflux so I popped 2 Ranitidines then took the kids to walmart at 12:30 and waited in the car while they shopped. Where my ribs meet felt like it was full of ice. The area was very cold. Then I got nauseous and threw up out my door. I said sorry to Walmart (to myself) but it couldn't be helped. every time I took a swig of my old Coke the worse I felt. On the way home I bought an ice cold water. it seems to be helping. I REALLY hope it wasn't the Chalupa and Cinnabons that made me sick. I know they gave me reflux. They always do but it's usually tolerable.
Gah. I'm feeling a bit better now but I'm not going to try to eat anything any time soon!

Originally Posted by Dianeva

How many classes are you taking? It seems to me like the classes themselves (the ones I've taken, at least) aren't actually that bad. But a lot of students do badly because taking 4 or so at once requires a lot of time. The material itself isn't that hard to comprehend, especially if the courses are first-year, but procrastinating for even a day or two can screw you up completely. Or maybe you're just really intelligent or got lucky with classes.

4 classes + the maths one which isn't mandatory. I assume 4 is the average for science/IT courses?
Yeah I think that's true. Even watching the lectures is like.... 12 hours a week now. Just so many things to keep up with and so many things to do, I think that's the biggest challenge.
I'm definitely not really intelligent lol. At least when it comes to maths, which I guess is a good measure of IQ, more or less. I fail so hard at maths.... not even funny. For example I got super excited today coz I figured out factoring. Which probably like year 10 level maths lol

Originally Posted by Dianeva

There's a 'girl from uni' now? It seems you meet a girl you start focusing on wherever you spend a lot of time. So if this one doesn't work out at least there will probably be another.

Yeah. No idea what you mean by that. Start focusing on wherever I spend a lot of time?

Anyway, she didn't come So sad.... lol

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Rant: I was going to respond to more posts but have to go. I've been waking up so late. I've only gotten out of bed and it's 1 pm. Meanwhile my parents are silently wondering when I'm going to start applying for jobs.

Rave: I decided I need to start wearing makeup again, so after a lot of consideration and backing out I've finally asked reddit for help. I've been spending a lot of time on reddit lately. Yesterday I made an alt and posted to a makeup expert subreddit asking for help with basically everything, from buying the makeup to applying it. I posted pictures of myself. And I can hardly believe the responses I've gotten so far. So many compliments. I haven't gotten a complement about my appearance from someone who has no obligation to be nice to me for soo long. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I look amazing, other times I look ugly as hell. So I've been feeling over the last few years that I actually am on the ugly side now, and it's added to my self-consciousness. And this helps a lot. I wasn't even expecting that, as I posted for the purpose of them telling me what makeup to buy. I didn't even think the pictures were flattering. I know they're likely exaggerating and do have a purpose in flattering people, but you can't completely make up a "I'd give a limb to have your eyes and full lips" comment. I know that the whole reason I'm happy about this is extremely vain. I really do make my best effort not to care about appearance at all (I know I'm going to get old someday so I desperately want not to be attached to that), but it's hard to escape the brainwashing of society, especially toward women, making us think how attractive we are is so important, and so for the time being this has set my mind to rest a bit. And of course, the advice itself including brand names was awesome. Getting makeup is going to be easy now.

Rant: It's not just women you know. Especially with the whole Disney and Hollywood romance movies brainwashing. There's probably just as much pressure on guys to be perfect in looks, as well as how they treat women (like a princess of course, can't do anything wrong and must buy her things and protect her and be a mind reader and not expect anything back and....) you get the point.

I don't get the whole media hype on appearances. I had very little esteem growing up but I knew I was "cute". Most of my problems were from my mother- I had an "E.T. neck; my forehead was too high and I was too thin. But she was my mom so everything she said was suspect anyhow
I played with barbies and never thought I wanted to look like one of them. I wanted all of Barbies cool things though

Guess who's sleeping on my floor...... Kierra: the dog I will NOT be taking to the pound It was my daughter's evil plan all along. Kierra is an awesome dog. She whines to be let outside. I walk into the yard with her, she does her business then goes onto the porch to go back inside. She's a miserable whiny baby though when it comes to the cats. She wants to play with them SO badly but all of them hiss at her and she's scared of them... even the kittens
And speaking of kittens... I broke down and looked at Climbers babies last night. They're in a box inside a gutted couch and under a bunch of drywall. They were within arms reach though, so I pulled each of them out to get a good look. One of them is all white with gray tinted ears. Siamese father perhaps? They're just starting to open their eyes and there's 4 of them. I can't tell if they're male or female yet.

I have a lot of spaying and neutering to get done. Which is now possible with the kids buying their own food. We've never kept entire litters before. Half usually disappear and others run off when they get older. The joys of country life

A rant is that i've been handling the animals too much so now my eyeballs are on fire.
I ate some yogurt after my last post and it didn't upset my stomach. I have no idea what happened last night. Was it Taco Bell? Can Soda go bad? I usually fill up my 52 oz cup at Sheetz and drink it throughout the entire day. Half usually remains when I get my next refill. Perhaps it was the ranitidine? Who knows, but I'm very glad it passed so quickly!!!!

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

My rant is silly. My computer now faces a very large wall mirror. Previously, I had a desk sectional thing covering it, but it crowds my computer area too much so I moved it when I rearranged my work area a couple months ago. My computer covers most of it; and Oblivion/Skyrim maps are taped to the middle of the mirror (Yeah, I'm a nerd ). One side, however is exposed and I randomly make faces at myself then crack up laughing, then feel really stupid
I used to always avoid mirrors. I used to have a slight fear of them but mostly I just see no need to look into them. I don't know what's up with my funny face routine lately. (And by lately, I mean the last couple of months since I rearranged )

Oh well... maybe I'm in need of more laughter or something

Glad to hear I'm not the only one
Whenever the screen turns black during a loading screen in a game like skyrim I'm instantly faced with whatever contemplative look I have on at the moment. Usually I make a face as well and then laughing.
It's something about the abrupt nature, when you are quickly confronted with your own face which you actually don't get to see so often.

hehehe, DutchRaptor, gald to hear I'm not the only one as well.

New rants: I've had almost a quart of coffee since 5PM and 3 caffeine pills throughout the day and I still barely managed to stay awake I can't believe I've almost gone through the entire 32 ounces of Bolthouse Mocha Cappuccino! so friggin yummy...
Also, I've had 2 ticks on me these last 2 days. I walk the dog into the yard, but our grass isn't high. I don't know how they're getting on me unless I don't notice the little buggers when I'm petting one of the animals and it just transfers onto me.
As much as I hate bugs, it humors me that ticks don't phase me. When I was about 7 years old I pulled the wings off of a housefly and watched it flop around and I cried for days afterwards. Not so with ticks. My uncles dogs used to get them really bad over the summer. Starting at around the same age until I was a preteen, I'd spend countless minutes pulling the engorged ticks off of the dogs and squishing them on the sidewalk with rocks. I never felt bad for doing so. To this day, they neither disgust or freak me out. I guess that's a good thing

TIme to go to bed. Goodnight and sweetest of dreams, DV.

**EDIT**
I actually finished all of that coffee then went to bed and fell right to sleep. But it was bed time so all was well What was NOT well is the spider that bit my hand and woke me up after just 3 1/2 hours of sleep

Now that I'm awake, I'm worrying about my hubby. When he sent me out for Chalupa's earlier he looked depressed. I asked him what was wrong, and as always, he didn't know. (How can people not know why they're sad?) Then he asked something strange. He asked if we had seen his daughter since he bought his Fiat (sp). I told him definitely. He bought that car over a year ago and we saw Diana just a couple of months ago.
I just checked my email to be certain and we saw her on March 1 of this year.

Hubby's mom had a bad case of Altzimers (sp). Hopefully it's not going to strike hubby. I forget stuff all the time, so maybe he just had a "brain fart", but I'm definitely going to bring this all up tomorrow.

The voting system on reddit amplifies social bias. I'm not afraid of posting unpopular opinions, I'm used to saying controversial things. I remember when I was in high school everyone jumped down my throat for saying droughts were a symptom of global warming. They are, but they don't make inherent logical sense because melting icebergs means more water, right? Kids in high school couldn't understand the complexity of radicalized weather. I gained a reputation for saying things that were wrong, which is funny because looking back, most of the things I said were actually correct.

And so it is I just sort of shrug my shoulders if I'm ganged up on by oppositional viewpoints or downvoted to oblivion. It doesn't bother me, it doesn't reflect on the virtue of my argument. They'll figure it out for themselves eventually, or maybe I will if it turns out I'm wrong. But usually life experience only further confirms my original argument, in which case opposition only sharpens my ability to argue it. However, I've been trying to spend less time online because it's just a drag, you don't often participate in earnest discussions where people are mutually trying to exchange ideas and grow intellectually. Instead, you confront people who have it all figured out, quasi-Bill O'Reilly's. I used to fantasize about destroying him in debate if I ever got the opportunity, but I've come to realize you just can't reason with him and pointing out the fallacy is useless. When his guests carry opposing viewpoints, he uses them as strawmen, whether through loaded questions are some other devious strategy.

I guess I've grown to recognize people that just want to be right aren't really worth talking to, and I used to have an innate need to respond with my own perspective because I couldn't let their ignorant viewpoint remain unopposed, not for their sake but for the sake of the audience. But the strongest action against someone with no interest in earnest discussion is just silence, you're better off ignoring them. You'll never get them to drop their defensive rhetoric and communicate intellectually.

On facebook someone posted a meme of some lady who's got a bunch of credentials and opposes vaccines, and some guy responded that she also opposes homeopathic medicine then marginalized what homeopathy was. I explained that homeopathy is the approach to medicine that regards the body as a connected system and one aspect of the body cannot be examined in isolation from the entire system, including the mind (which is the first aspect parceled off by modern medicine despite its connection clearly proven through the placebo effect). I also noted that homeopathy does not imply one should disregard modern medicine. I concluded by saying the meme is an appeal to authority and that when you look at the research, the link between vaccines and autism cannot actually stand on its own merit. Instead it depends on appeal to authority, such as that meme. This person started accusing me of drinking water with crystals in it, essentially marginalizing me as a gullible follower of gimmicky trends that have hijacked the word homeopathy even though we both had the same pro-vaccine position and I was just promoting clarity. It really irked me, and I know he's just some retard, but he got like 6 likes for every one of his stupid little insults that classified me a gullible alternative-health nut (and I should note this person didn't even know me, and anyone who does would laugh at the idea that I'm any kind of health-nut). It was like watching the mob mentality unfold right in front of me, like if I said, "I'm sure this guy is guilty but we need to present evidence to lynch him" I would have been named an accomplice.

I know what people say, you can't expect intelligent conversations on facebook. And you can't expect them on garbage subs of reddit like advice animals, and apparently you also can't expect them in ED anymore on this site. It shouldn't be that way, our culture should hold itself to a higher standard of intellectual honesty. But what do you expect when this same style of communication is used in every major news channel? Newspeak goes beyond just an ironic means of labeling things to coincide with public opinion, it goes into the very way we converse on controversy, the very way we disagree with each other. I can still find worthwhile discussions in specific places like /r/philosophy but I don't understand why I can't expect to find that on facebook? Or here? Why do so many people feel the need to participate with their best impression of a fox news panel?

Originally Posted by Original Poster

However, I've been trying to spend less time online because it's just a drag, you don't often participate in earnest discussions where people are mutually trying to exchange ideas and grow intellectually.

This part alone is kinda how I feel. I don't even mean in trying to have intelligent conversations, but just honest ones. I'm not much of a talker in person, but that's mostly because I don't like bullshitting. I don't like complaining about the weather, gossiping about people, talking about the latest TV show episodes... but when I meet someone who actually wants to have a conversation, I open up quite a bit. And I don't even mean some stimulating intellectual conversion, but rather a conversation where two (or more) people do more than just vomit words; where ideas are shared, opinions discussing, and information transferred. And that could be something as simple as the latest album from a mutual favorite artist.

But I don't get the opportunity to do that much in-person, so I turned to the internet early on because I found communities where people actually conversed like above. But almost all those communities today have become meme-infested LOL-circles. Which is fun at times, but mostly annoying. So I don't really take part in many online communities anymore. I lurk on this forum, an audio forum, and a private marijuana forum. This site gets some young members, but they all seem pretty mature. The latter two sites remain civilized I believe simply because it's an old crowd (average age is probably 30+).


On to my rant: or rave? I'm again impressed how well I'm able to function without sleep. I guess that's what 3rd shift does to you. I worked 8 hours, drove home, slept 4 hours, and then went back in to work another 8 hours. Came home, slept about another 3 hours, and I'm wide awake and feel great. Only downside is that my sleep schedule got all messed up now.

But back on a good note, my plant is looking fantastic. Just about every time I go to check on her, I start singing in my head, "Frosty, the snowman.." Another two weeks or so and she should be ready to get chopped and dried.

Exactly, offline conversations are usually a farce and twats plaster the majority of online conversations with obtuse bullshit. It makes me cherish and miss the people in my life I could have real conversations with. But they're so fucking rare.

Real conversations take a lot of work... and a degree of life experience, daydreaming, thoughts beyond self etc.
... I don't think any more. Most of what I say is here. And, sadly, it's not really conversational but more like venting on a blog or something.
I don't care to have the latest info on politics or health or the world beyond my bedroom. I used to, but it just became too much to keep up with. And then I'd just turn right around and forget everything I learned so it seemed all the more pointless.
I think a lot of people- myself especially- are of the mindset that if something doesn't directly impact them on a personal level, they just don't care. Or maybe they care but they just can't get passionate about it.

My rave is: having a dog around is good for me. I go outside countless times throughout the day now. I walk through the yard. I want to buy a collar and leash so I can walk Kierra through the field. In short: my butt is no longer completely glued to my chair
Destinee needs to take her to the vet though. I hope she does so with her first paycheck. She has severe ear mites or something. And if she gets excited, she starts coughing. I fear she has throat damage. It sounds like when you walk a dog who pulls on it's leash too much and starts coughing. She's otherwise healthy, happy and energetic. She eats and drinks well.

But I'm afraid to get too close to her. #1, I'm lazy. My devotion to her won't last. It never does. Maybe I can change but when winter comes, would I still be willing to go outside with her? Walk her? #2, I can't afford vets. I have a zillion cats/kittens who need spayed and neutered and vaccinated. it never happens because I never have the money. Kierra needs spayed and she has other issues that need to be dealt with. #3, her owner is in jail for 4 years (the owner is actually the brother of Destinee's boyfriend). If I keep her and love her I will not want to give her back.
BUT- what are her other options? Go to the pound and be put to sleep because she's part pitbull? Find her a home with a random person who might take advantage of her because of her bloodline?

While my daughter is here, she's paying for her medical needs. So I guess I'll just take it one step at a time.

Another rave is that I told hubby about the dog and he complained that my house is a zoo and I need to take her to the pound. I laughed and told him that my big heart is the thing he loves most about me. I told him people always get stuck in that trap: they fall in love with their complete opposite then nag them into changing and then- some years later- they complain "What happened to the person I fell in love with". You made them change
Then he laughed and told me to try on my wedding dress- that I'm already not the person he fell in love with. I countered with a "HA! You're supposed to fall in love with the personality, not the body type. Why don't you try on your tux " Turkey.
In any case, he seems to be out of his funk which is another rave And his memory is okay- about the same as mine anyhow

Originally Posted by tommo

There's probably just as much pressure on guys to be perfect in looks

Agree with everything you said except for this. Unless social standards are way different where you live, there's no way there's as much pressure on guys' appearances. Men do seem to be under a lot more pressure than women are in many ways, like career-wise, treating women like princesses, etc. But not in appearance. Looking good helps, but men seem to be judged primarily on their personalities. For women it's the opposite. A good personality helps but appearance is the first thing judged. That's what it seems to me anyway. You can even see it when people describe people they're attracted to. Even in your posts, I think, you'll describe a girl you like as "beautiful" or "really hot" or something and then later you may mention that you get along well too. It extends to all guys, the main thing they like about a woman is that she's attractive. When women are describing guys they like, though, it's usually the personality that takes the foreground. He's really nice, or intelligent or confident or something. They may throw in that he's "cute" or "hot" too, but those are secondary bonuses, and even those words seem to describe personality rather than raw appearance as they do for women.

Originally Posted by dutchraptor

Glad to hear I'm not the only one
Whenever the screen turns black during a loading screen in a game like skyrim I'm instantly faced with whatever contemplative look I have on at the moment. Usually I make a face as well and then laughing.

I admit when this happens I usually just get a self-consciousness that happens whenever I look into a mirror by accident. Like I didn't realize I was an actual human and it's like "oh it's me.... oh I'm one of them, I forgot."

Originally Posted by Original Poster

I explained that homeopathy is the approach to medicine that regards the body as a connected system and one aspect of the body cannot be examined in isolation from the entire system, including the mind (which is the first aspect parceled off by modern medicine despite its connection clearly proven through the placebo effect). I also noted that homeopathy does not imply one should disregard modern medicine.

To be fair, your definition of homeopathy is not one that I've heard before. Not that I've ever looked into it much, but as far as I'm aware (confirmed by a quick google and dictionary search), homeopathy is the treatment of some illness by attempting to dilute water with very small amounts of remedies which don't do anything. They dilute it so much that it's essentially just water by the end. The definition you gave seems like a common-sense fact, but that doesn't seem to accurately describe homeopathy as most of society sees it. You seem to be describing some other definition of the word, unless it's everyone else who's misunderstanding it.

------

Spoiler for politics/philosophy:

I've never been able to care about politics because I never learned about it properly. That, and perhaps I just don't have a mind for it. Political issues are all so complicated that I can't really form any opinion on any of them, and so listening to people theorizing about the one little angle at which they're viewing the vast complicated situation from just doesn't interest me. There's just no way I could come to a conclusion after listening to them. It seems politics to most people is a good vs. evil conservative vs. liberal, and whether conservative or liberal is the good or evil side depends on how you were raised. Even I tend to identify with the liberal side for completely non-political reasons (religious associations mostly), while I'm really not even sure what the difference is between them politically. Government-owned everything vs. privately-owned everything, I've been told, is the basic difference. But I have no idea which one I should route for as I don't know what the consequences of both would be. To be honest I'd rather we lived in little tribes. My brain could comprehend that.

But I have always been philosophically minded. Yet lately, in the last few years or so, I've been declining in that sense. I guess I haven't been thinking... as much. And that's something I need to work on. I've always been philosophical. When I was about 11 years old I came up with the idea of space-time (I have a graph that I drew myself to prove it) and would think and talk about philosophical ideas which my parents couldn't even comprehend and which I never encountered again until college philosophy classes where my 12 year old self probably would have been considered a little genius. I remember at some point when I was a kid, I noticed that adults seemed to always be walking in a daze. They didn't care about the kinds of things that I cared about. They didn't think as clearly, they were so used to everything they were all in a sort of trance. But I always assumed I'd never become like that because I'd make sure every day I wasn't becoming like that. But it seems I am becoming that. I really do care about stupid things like TV shows. I'll literally spend idle time thinking about the relationships in a TV show, or more often stressing about something like homework or mother's day, all in very non-philosophical ways. The amount of time I devote to thinking about life in general is declining. I still do, just, in shorter bursts throughout the day, and I rarely come to any conclusions or realizations. Rather it's just the same thoughts coming to me over and over.

Spoiler for makeup:

I got makeup, spent $230. That's apparently how much anything of decent quality costs, even considering I got shitty drugstore mascara, eyeliner, remover and lip balm. I spent $180 at Sephora for tinted moisturizer, blush, a simple eyeshadow palette and brushes. That's simply the price of makeup of decent quality. I tried it all on tonight, and I'll need to practice the eyeliner. I also shaped my eyebrows as they were apparently too thick. I'd never even considered doing that before, but it was really stressful and took over an hour because I was so afraid of making a mistake, but in the end they look good, and I feel they may help with my self-consciousness. After looking at my eyebrows, I think the fact that they weren't really arched really contributed to my constant 'worried' look, so I'm hoping I won't look like that anymore. If only I had known it was that easy. In total it was a really stressful day. The hardest part was going into that store - Sephora, and getting color matched, as that involved talking to someone. After that I walked around and picked things out myself, but I'm so bad with even that. I'm so aware of the associates looking at me. I always think they think I'm shoplifting or something because I look so nervous and am taking so long, which makes me nervous and take longer. That's the main reason I hate going to malls. That and getting overwhelmed because there's so much going on.

The one thing I really miss about my ex-girlfriend is that she was a very good hairdresser. I just hate getting my hair cut. I don't like scheduling appointments, I feel awkward sitting there while someone is cutting my hair, and I never end up happy about the haircut.

So this morning I cut my hair again. I cut it a bit too short, and it's OK. But, eh. I don't care too much, as I'm a fairly sloppy person in general and pretty lazy in terms of my appearance, but nice haircuts are nice. And it helps clean me up a bit, even with my infrequent shaving and often dirty clothes. So I think I'm going to put out the requirement that any future girlfriend of mine must be a hairdresser.


I guess that's my rant. My rave is that I'm getting so much de-cluttering/cleaning done in my apt. I guess that's why they call it "spring cleaning?" I don't know if it's something about the weather or what, but I'm just tired of so much "stuff" just sitting out. Rather than just putting stuff where it fits, I'm trying to organize things to actually have a proper place for them. Kinda hard since I live in a tiny studio apartment with no closets, but I'm down to just a small pile of stuff in the middle of the floor that still needs a home. Might end up giving away/selling some stuff that's just taking up storage space yet never gets used.

Wow, Dianeva, THAT'S why I no longer buy makeup As for eyeliner... if you pull down your lower eyelid, you should see a slight ridge. I always dab my tongue on my stick, then apply my eyeliner there. it's easier if the liner is just a tad moist. But a cloth or even your finger would work just as well. You cannot use that method if you have sensitive eyes. My hubby, being an eye doctor, used to give me a bit of a hard time about my method. But it really does work best and it causes no damage, just a slight irritation until you get used to it.
Another thing, if your eyes start to itch or feel otherwise irritated, it could be your mascara or eye shadow. I can't use mascara at all because it tends to flake. Same thing with standard eye shadow, which is why I use the sticks instead of the powder. I think it's funny that those bother me but my eyeliner doesn't.
Have fun with it

Sefalik. I hate having my hair cut too. It seems like such a waste of money lol. Once I break down and get it done (maybe once every 5 years or longer ) I enjoy it immensely. I love people playing with my hair

I'm pissed because Revolution was cancelled Oh well, I should be used to that by now!

I've been feeling weird these last couple of days. I got thinking about Puerto Rico and was lost on memory lane and google for hours last night. I started looking up a caterpillar for my daughter... which made me think about the black birds who taught me how to whistle... and then about the other birds who would attack them and raid their nests. I hated the birds of prey. I could see their tree beyond the "ocean" on a ??? tall, jutting island/minor mountain. I would fantasize about swimming out and killing all of them. It was a great distance, though and we were on a very tall hill ourselves.

So, I was looking for both birds for hours. But I was 7-10 years old. I don't remember what either looked like (other than the friendly ones being black).

I can still mimic the black birds though. I wish I could find an audible library. I don't recall anything special about them. Just that at dusk they would completely fill the power lines and whistle and I would stand on top of an extremely tall slide and learn from them The birds of prey hunted as a group and devestated the nests of the black birds... and they lived as a colony in a tall, dead looking tree near-ish the ocean.

Ah well, I'll probably never know. Time has probably perverted my memories anyhow.

Other than all of that.... my period still hasn't started *Grrrr* I like to be timely. This new schedule is annoying me.
And my skin is annoying me and I don't know what causes the problem... Below my fingernails and cuticles- on the skin of the fingers themselves, my skin will fray. For as tiny as the frays are, it's very painful lol. I pluck the frays off which makes it more tolerable. But what causes it? I tend to associate it with a poor diet. But I've been eating fine. I've not gotten them for a very long time, but I used to get them pretty regularly..

gotta take the dog out...

**EDIT**
I'm also annoyed because I traveled a great distance in Minecraft yesterday... all for the purpose of finding a jungle or swamp so I could harvest some vines, so that I could make mossy cobblestones and mossy stone bricks. I followed the recipe but it doesn't work I spent a lot of time searching for the reason why and couldn't find it... other than there seems to be mixed info about mossy stone bricks only being available from temples and creative mode. I also can't make chiseled stone which is annoying as well. I think they must have been discontinued to make them more rare or something. You can now (seemingly) only find them in temples and fortresses.
Which ticks me off lol
I want to make a church with a graveyard and the mossy stone and fences would have been perfect. Now, I guess I'll just have to stick vines on everything. It's not as nice, but it will work I guess.

It's a beautiful day. I'll be doing a lot of laundry!
But while it washes, I reckon I'll get back on the game

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I hate having my hair cut too. It seems like such a waste of money lol.

That too. I think the haircut I used to get would have cost me $30 if I was just a regular customer. But their shop specializes in color and all kinds of other stuff that makes no sense to me, but people would be coming in and spending easily over $100, I think $300 wasn't even unreasonable. And then they'd come back to do it again a few weeks/months later. No thank you. I'll take free, or I'll do it myself.


As for minecraft, you had me worried so I just checked... but I'm able to craft the mossy stone bricks. Are you sure you're still in the right snapshot? I'm in 14w19a (which should currently be the latest). I didn't try it on a crafting table, but just stone bricks with vines next to them worked.

snapshot? Like the update version?
I think I've tried making them before in my home worlds but was never able to. I tried this last time in multiplayer... Now I need to load a home world and check again
I believe I have the latest version installed...

$300. for a hair cut and color (plus styling?)?! Egad! I object to $15 For $15. the place at walmart used to do a basic wash and cut.

**EDIT**
Nope. Still can't make them. I use Vanilla. Do I need something else? My launcher is 1.4.2; the game is 1.7.9 and bootstrap (whatever that is lol) is 5. I saw nothing called snapshot?
Just googled it and saw I need to create new profile... did... then it says to use a different directory. Gotta figure that next step out lol.

Dianeva (or anyone), do you know if I'll be able to use this in our muliplayer world?

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Wow, Dianeva, THAT'S why I no longer buy makeup As for eyeliner... if you pull down your lower eyelid, you should see a slight ridge. I always dab my tongue on my stick, then apply my eyeliner there. it's easier if the liner is just a tad moist. But a cloth or even your finger would work just as well. You cannot use that method if you have sensitive eyes. My hubby, being an eye doctor, used to give me a bit of a hard time about my method. But it really does work best and it causes no damage, just a slight irritation until you get used to it.
Another thing, if your eyes start to itch or feel otherwise irritated, it could be your mascara or eye shadow. I can't use mascara at all because it tends to flake. Same thing with standard eye shadow, which is why I use the sticks instead of the powder. I think it's funny that those bother me but my eyeliner doesn't.
Have fun with it

As I read this my eyes are a bit irritated, but I wear contacts and just got up, and don't think the makeup remover worked 100%. Thanks for the advice. I'll try that and watch more youutbe videos before I actually have to go out tonight.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I've been feeling weird these last couple of days. I got thinking about Puerto Rico and was lost on memory lane and google for hours last night. I started looking up a caterpillar for my daughter... which made me think about the black birds who taught me how to whistle... and then about the other birds who would attack them and raid their nests. I hated the birds of prey. I could see their tree beyond the "ocean" on a ??? tall, jutting island/minor mountain. I would fantasize about swimming out and killing all of them. It was a great distance, though and we were on a very tall hill ourselves.

So, I was looking for both birds for hours. But I was 7-10 years old. I don't remember what either looked like (other than the friendly ones being black).

I can still mimic the black birds though. I wish I could find an audible library. I don't recall anything special about them. Just that at dusk they would completely fill the power lines and whistle and I would stand on top of an extremely tall slide and learn from them The birds of prey hunted as a group and devestated the nests of the black birds... and they lived as a colony in a tall, dead looking tree near-ish the ocean.

That all sounds really surreal. What age did you live there until?

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I'm also annoyed because I traveled a great distance in Minecraft yesterday... all for the purpose of finding a jungle or swamp so I could harvest some vines, so that I could make mossy cobblestones and mossy stone bricks. I followed the recipe but it doesn't work I spent a lot of time searching for the reason why and couldn't find it... other than there seems to be mixed info about mossy stone bricks only being available from temples and creative mode. I also can't make chiseled stone which is annoying as well. I think they must have been discontinued to make them more rare or something. You can now (seemingly) only find them in temples and fortresses.
Which ticks me off lol
I want to make a church with a graveyard and the mossy stone and fences would have been perfect. Now, I guess I'll just have to stick vines on everything. It's not as nice, but it will work I guess.

I checked and I can't make it either. But I notice it's on 1.7.9. Just checked creeperhost and 1.8 doesn't seem to be up yet. Usually if it's a new update the server will be updatable in a few days. The church and graveyard sounds like an awesome idea - never thought of that before!